Thank Goddess it’s Friday

Not that Friday makes any difference, since the Rev and I often work on weekends, and this weekend will be no exception. But I thought I’d take a little break from the grind and share a few more bits of love and light that have come through to me.

It had to happen…
The astonishing power of prayer has now been combined with the awesome force of quantum physics via…you guessed it…the Quantum Prayer System (QPS). "Think of the QPS as your personal angel with your name on it, hovering above you 24/7, keeping an eye on you and giving communication and directions," read the email, which bore the subject line, "Energetic Balancing Quantum Resonance Technology."

"The quantum prayer system…is the most advanced quantum physics & prayer technology," the message continued. "It is about 20 years ahead of it's [sic] time. Like the ancient Tibeten [sic] prayer wheel, QPS generates millions of healing frequencies of prayer in your name, directly to you, 24/7 for six months, one year, or a lifetime..."

And QPS is not just another cobbled-together bit of pseudoscientific and/or pseudospiritual claptrap designed by New-Wage mercenaries to bilk gullible people out of their hard-earned money. According to the email, it is…

…the ultimate life-force (chi) enhancement program in the universe, to help you slow your aging process, the natural way. The primary purpose of the Quantum Prayer System is to help you raise your LVI (or life-vitality index) and correct any imbalanced frequencies within your energy matrix. We promote well-being and help create lifestyle changes on all levels. No matter what your present condition, you're welcome to join and receive balancing. We only ask that you want to change your situation and participate in your own healing, as you are the only healer for yourself. QPS is committed to quality broadcast of energetic balancing and maintaining a strong focus on customer satisfaction at all times. Our fees are more affordable than any other, and we are the most advanced program of this kind.

Those affordable fees break down as follows:
6 Months = $450. One Year = $600. Lifetime = $2875.

Naturally, QPS comes with the standard loophole inherent in all New-Wage programs: if you don’t get results, it’s your fault. It also comes with a stronger medical disclaimer than I’ve seen on most New-Wage programs:

QPS & EVALUATION ARE NOT
a Medical Treatment!
This program does not provide subscribes [sic] with any form of Therapy, Counseling, Medical Treatment or Diagnosis. If you think you have a medical problem, please see your doctor or dial 911.
The Quantum Prayer System has no recognized value, beyond that which the individual participants assign to it.
The QPS is a spiritual technology using advanced mathematics, fractals and prayers.

So, basically, the message is that QPS has no value, but never mind; send the QPS people your money anyway. I have a better idea (and it’s one I’ve suggested here before, but so far no one has paid heed): send me your money – the more, the better. I have a great deal of value, at least to me.

Memo to Joe V.:
If I spend money to give you an Amazon gift certificate, the "free articles" on your blog aren’t free anymore, are they? At least not for me.

Woman goes off meds again
"The Nibiruan Council is pleased to announce the release of their second book," said the email. The Nibiruans, I learned, are a group of advanced ET’s who are using a woman named Jelaila Starr as their channel and ghostwriter. Their mission is "to prepare humanity to take their rightful place in the greater galactic community," which is why they are making Jelaila write books, the newest of which is called, The Mission Remembered, Book 2. It will help you figure out the answer to questions such as:

• Do you have a purpose for being here, a divinely inspired mission?
• If so, have you discovered your mission, or are you still waiting for it to unfold?
• What will it entail and what will be required?
• How do you fulfill it while maintaining a career and caring for your spouse and kids?

The aliens also told Jelaila to make videos. I guess they’re relatively harmless, though, as long as they don’t start telling her to do bad things to her husband or kids.

Speak of the devil (so to speak)
Just the other day I was expressing concern because I hadn't received a Nether Worlds Reclamation Update from Extreme Lightworker Bryan James in quite some time. This is an ongoing project to rescue 50 million lost souls from Hell. Well, we can all breathe easier because I just got this brief update in my email:

Divine Mother's reclamation project is going extremely well, as 3,898,792 souls have been successfully rescued, rehabilitated and sent home as of June 19. Please continue to send your Light, prayers and best wishes for the full recovery of the remaining souls currently undergoing treatment.

I thought you'd like to know.

Well, I’d best get back to work, and you probably should, too. But if you’d like to spend a little more time in the blogosphere, and you'd like to explore the dark side of "love and light," head on over to Steve Salerno’s SHAMblog for the newest "collateral damage" self-help horror story.

Saturday snippets

Just a few tidbits before I get back to the "real world"…

Bonnette v. Byrne: Vanessa weighs in from Singapore
I sent Vanessa Bonnette an email to let her know I’d put up a post about her plight. She replied to me:

Hi Connie,

I needed a good laugh - that picture is a riot!!

Thank you for presenting so much information. I know that people can only make their own decisions and I know that when my book comes out they will see it in black and white (if they want to). Perhaps they should know that I only made my claim after finding over 100 citations which are now listed on 8 A4 pages forming a page by page comparison....! If anyone wants it I can send it when I get back. Right now I'm just focusing on my work in Singapore as it is more important and I'm also wanting to free myself from the negativity of Byrne/the secret.

Warm regards & blessings,

Vanessa

Yes, I know the burden of proof is on Vanessa, and she’ll face even more of a challenge if she is using a revised version of her original book in the comparisons. I’m just passing her message along. She should be back home around June 8, at which time you can send her an email at info@shekinahtherapy.com.au, requesting the comparison sheets.

Proctor & Gambler: a great new comedy team
I still have don't have details on Part 2 of ACA’s segment on David Schirmer, who has made a name for himself lately by gambling with other folks’ money. (The link in the previous sentence is to Part 1.) Meanwhile, however, I’ve been keeping myself entertained (did I mention I am very easily amused?) by perusing David Schirmer’s MySpace page.

Do visit the page if you have a chance, and scroll down a bit so you can play the videos. First you’ll see Schirmer’s segment on The Secret; they played part of it on the ACA piece, but this shows a little more. It’s not to be missed. Notice especially the gleam in Schirmer’s eye, as well as the way he demonstrates his creative visualization exercise with a bank statement.

Then play the two-part video that features highlights from a "Secret To Wealth: Mind and Money Strategies" workshop in Melbourne featuring Schirmer and another Secret superstar, the noted visionary, philosopher and scientist Bob Proctor.

The Melbourne workshop video is full of gems. Early on Schirmer tells his audience that for the next three and a half days they are going to be playing a little game wherein they’re allowed to "extract money" from fellow attendees. Is this Blair Warren’s Law of Extraction in action? No, this one is just a simple game wherein if one attendee asks another how he or she is doing, if the answer is anything except "Wonderful!" then the askee has to fork over a gold coin to the asker.

Proctor, who seems to have trouble conjugating the verb "come," has some gems as well. Another Secret luminary, John DeMartini, was apparently also slated to be part of the event, and in his intro speech Proctor says, "I understand Dr. Martini [sic] will be here tomorrow…I haven’t met him yet… We’ve passed like thieves in the night for several years."

I thought the saying was "ships passing in the night." Freudian slip, Bob?

Proctor shares several profundities, e.g., "The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing." Not since Gertrude Stein, or perhaps Yogi Berra, has such wisdom flowed. And what is the "main thing?" It’s… freedom! "If I want to be free, I’ve gotta be me," adds Proctor, quoting one of his own mentors, now departed (no, not Sammy Davis Jr.). The freedom Proctor talks about is the freedom to throw your money around without worrying about how much stuff costs. People who look at price tags or worry about the cost of something are not free, he says.

Proctor also says that "all religion and all science have always taught" that there’s an infinite supply of everything. "When you’re dealing with the infinite, you can never take more than your share," he assures his audience.

And that’s what it’s all about, really: take, take, take. By the way, Bob and Dave are scheduled for more performances, including another one in Melbourne this month that will only set you back 7,200 Aussie dollars or so. Go get ’em, Bob and Dave!

Enlightened obfuscation

Okay, enough about Proctor and Gambler for now. Not long ago I wrote about an English-challenged affiliate of master hustledork Chris Howard. The affiliate called himself/herself "Catalyst For Change." This past week I received another email, via my favorite New-Wage spam service, from someone going by the name of California Catalyst For Change. This Catalyst, which I strongly suspect is the newest incarnation of the previous Catalyst, also has a propensity for taking lots of English words and stringing them together to form… well, sentence-like structures, I suppose.

I visited CalCat’s web site and came across this lovely bit on the Q&A section of the Meditation page:

Q: Why doesn't my experience look like yours?
A: If your experience does not look similar to others, chances are you have connected to the infinite intelligence of life. That is good! If your experience does look like others, chances are you are surfing a similar wave of quantum energy in a universe that is always whole, connected to Oneness. We thank you for being you, for showing up and for amplifying the honoring of this precious moment in time.

Definitely words to ponder the next time you’re stoned out of your mind, which, I imagine, would render CalCat’s thoughts considerably easier to understand. I don’t get stoned, so this stuff is a bit beyond my understanding. So go ahead, fire one up, then let me know what sort of interpretation you come up with.

Hell’s getting emptier every day
I really owe all of y’all an apology. I’ve been so busy following the Schirmer affair and other Secret-related matters that I’ve been quite remiss on my other reporting duties. Most regrettably, I haven’t reported lately on the progress that Extreme Lightworker Bryan James and his crew have been making down in the Nether Worlds. As you may know if you’ve been here a while, Bryan is working to rescue some 50 million souls from Hell. Of course he couldn’t do it by himself. He’s working alongside the Queen of Heaven and assorted gods, goddesses and Ascended Masters, as well as thousands of volunteers just like you and me.

Here are the latest rescue stats I have, from a message I received from Bryan on May 25:

100% are walking around (89% without assistance)
100% are asking questions (e.g., "Who am I?" or "Where am I?")
69% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools

Over 2,000,000 have been taken home to start a new beginning

You too can help these poor souls by going to Hell at night while you’re sleeping. In return you’ll get your frequencies tinkered with for free by Bryan or one of his kids. For more info, send an email to contact@circleoflights.com.

Well, that’s it for this edition. It’s back to real work for a while, and then The Rev and I are off to some friends’ for dinner. Happy Saturday, everyone (and Sunday, for those of you in other parts of the world who are way ahead of me, time-wise).

PS (added a little later on Saturday afternoon) ~ No, I'm not quite finished after all. I forgot to add something my pal Lana alerted me to yesterday – an article in the Chicago Reader about The Secret and some of the dead-famous-people quotations and misquotations that appear in the book and on the DVD. Lana said she thought she remembered a previous discussion about same on Blair Warren's blog. Her memory served her correctly; here's the link. Matter of fact, the Chicago Reader article, published on June 1, happened to mention the exact same quotations Blair had mentioned on March 14. Great minds really do think alike!

Tuesday sight-bites

Crazy deadlines loom in the world of my "real" work, so this is going to be another one of those "bits and pieces" posts.

Hawkins squawkin’
Recently I received a private email asking me if I am familiar with psychiatrist, mystic and applied kinesiology advocate Dr. David Hawkins. My correspondent was kind enough to send me several links, including a link to comments by Skepdic Online author Robert Todd Caroll. I replied that I had only a passing familiarity with the good Dr. Hawkins, having mentioned his Hawkins Frequency Scale in passing on one of my blog posts last November. The real subject of my November post was Extreme Lightworker Bryan James, whom I have blogged about many times before and no doubt will again…in the very next paragraph, I predict.

Among many other services and products he offers, Bryan James helps people raise their vibrational level for "ascension." Regarding Dr.Hawkins, Bryan has this to say on his Circle of Lights web site:

Dr. Hawkins developed a Scale of Consciousness based on a logarithmic scale of 1 to 1000. He claimed that all ideas, thoughts, literature, etc., vibrate at some level. Energies above 200 are considered positive, and those below 200 are rated as negative. A level of 1000 is considered the number required for ascension.

If you follow the above link to my November blog post, you’ll be amazed at the ultra-high frequencies (far beyond 1,000) achieved by some enlightened souls – most notably Bryan’s own kids, who are, it goes without saying, Indigo children.

On his April 23 Guruphiliac post, Jody Radzik paid homage to Dr. Hawkins in the way that only he can. Or, more accurately, he allowed one of his readers to pay homage, and that reader did a fine job. As it turns out, it was the same person who had written to me, and who has also written about Hawkins on Rick Ross’ Cult Education Forum. I was particularly interested to read about the source of Dr. Hawkins’ Ph.D., which seems to be the foundation of his work:

I can see why some people might believe Dr. Hawkins’ claims; after all, Dr. Hawkins has an M.D. and a Ph.D. But, while he is a psychiatrist, his Ph.D. is from the unaccredited diploma mill Columbia Pacific University, a fact not noted in his books or on his website. This degree is the basis of his work.

Columbia Pacific University happens to be the same diploma mill where Dr. John Gray, "Ph.D." got his doctorate. Alas, CPU was shut down by the California Department of Consumer Affairs. As our reader noted, however, you’re probably not going to see much about that on Dr. Hawkins’ promo material.

But y’know, these days, it really doesn’t matter if your degree is real or not. You put those letters after your name, and voila! Instant credibility. I really gotta buy me a fake Ph.D.

Hell is rapidly emptying
Speaking of Bryan James, I recently received another email from him regarding the progress of the Nether Worlds Reclamation Project, his mission to rescue 50 million lost souls from Hell. With the assistance of the Queen of Heaven, a few assorted gods and goddesses, an Ascended Master or two, and thousands of volunteer lightworkers, Bryan is roundin’ ’em up and sendin’ ’em home. Here are the latest numbers (as of April 17, 2007):

100% have shown some movement
100% have opened their eyes
100% are walking around (63% without assistance)
93% are asking questions (e.g., "Who am I?" or "Where am I?")
47% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools
572,593 have been taken home to start a new beginning

If you’ve been following the progress reports here, you know that Hell is emptying at an increasingly rapid pace. Why, as of April 4, only 202,000 folks had "gone home." And now look at the numbers. For information on how you too can go to Hell and get involved in this project, just hop on over to my Easter blog post.

This place is a magnet
And speaking of numbers (do you see how all of these snippets are cleverly connected to each other?), some time over this past weekend, my "hit list" passed the 10,000 mark. The start date – the date I activated my free hit counter – was February 22, and I have it set to log only "original hits." So, okay, I’m not getting hundreds of thousands of new hits a day, but at least a few people are making their way over here. I appreciate all of y’all – new and repeat visitors alike. I hope you’ll keep coming back.

Public service
Oh, and speaking of Jody and his Guruphiliac blog, I received a "thank you" email from someone who, apparently as a result of reading some of the posts on my blog, jumped to Jody’s and found some pretty revealing information about Sri Lanka guru (and former Rhonda Byrne consort) Tilak. "I just popped over to Guruphiliac and learned a bunch about Tilak," the person wrote to me. "I wanted to thank you for pointing me in the right direction. I was definitely on the wrong road with this guy. So thanks."

It’s good to know that occasionally this blog can provide more than cheap laughs – not that cheap laughs are anything to sneeze at!

Calling all "Abundant Members"
And while we're on the subject of cheap laughs, my friend Tony Michalski alerted me the other day to a brief thread on Marcy From Maui’s Powerful Intentions Forum. The topic was, "What is an abundant member?"

I responded to Tony (though in retropect it would have been more fun to respond on the actual forum):

I know the answer! An abundant member is an appendage that is belonging to man who wants to make his Woman holler and beg for more and so has responded to most urgent email composed by Person from India who know very little English but know how to Sell a pill that will enable Man to grow Monster Member to make his woman holler!

Read the first footnote in this post for real sample of such spam (although in this case it is a product to make a man *last* longer, not *grow* longer).

But, as I discovered when I actually took the time to follow the link to the thread, an Abundant Member on the PI forum is something altogether different.

I thought it was good for a cheap laugh anyway.

And now… I hate to blog and run, but the Rev and I have books to write, edit, and design. Oh, yeah, and I gotta pick up my copy of Night At The Museum, which just came out on DVD in the US today. Not only am I a diehard Ben Stiller fan, but when I was a kid, my favorite school field trips were to the local natural history museum, where I used to be drawn to the dioramas, fantasizing about what it would be like to enter those worlds-within-worlds, and have all those cave men and extinct animals and whatnot come alive and take me back in time. And believe me, there are days when I would still like to disappear into a diorama. But for now, I’m going to disappear into my other life. And for many reasons – but mostly because my other life includes The Rev – that’s not a bad thing at all.

PS on Tuesday evening: No sooner had I posted the latest numbers on Bryan James' Nether Worlds Reclamation Project than I received yet another email from him. Apparently the Nether Worlds Reclamation people have been very busy since April 17. Here are the latest numbers (as of April 21):

100% have shown some movement
100% have opened their eyes
100% are walking around (65% without assistance)
95% are asking questions (e.g., “Who am I?” or “Where am I?”)
50% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools
629,201 have been taken home to start a new beginning

Bryan also reiterated the mission of his company: "Our goal is to help create a critical mass of higher frequency energy that will raise the planet's vibration and lead all creation into the New Age." That's why he offers the vibe-enhancement services I mentioned above. And just in case you are wondering if they are bogus, here's evidence that they're the real deal – a couple of testimonials from some hot, hungry, excited, crazily vibrating clients:

Hey Bryan! Just wanted to thank you & Kevin [Bryan's Indigo son] for the above Activation!! It was a nice surprise to get a higher frequency than was originally intended!! During the Activation, my hands got quite hot (I AM a Second Degree Reiki). I also felt Love, Peace & Beauty during the session. I also felt a lot of energy, & it was difficult to sit still after the first 15 minutes; ALSO, I got very hungry! It is GREAT to work with my First Template, & I AM excited to be able to manifest more quickly!
- Carole

Dear Bryan, I´m having trouble, because all my bodies are vibrating like crazy, that was the far largest frequency-jump I did yesterday so far. (Sample-comparison for the jump: I started at a size of a single carbon atom, now I am stretching myself far beyond the milky way galaxy). But I know that in 2 or 3 days that feeling is normal. I start on planning and working today with the new tools. That feels very good to use them, I´m quite excited.
All the best, Andreas

As I read those testimonials, particularly that one from Andreas, the lyrics of an old song were running through my mind: "Call Alice.... when she was just small..."

All I can say is, they must have some VERY good drugs in Bryan's part of the Galactic Federation.

They have risen! More good news from "down there"

Easter is the holiday when much of the world not only pays homage to the hollow-chocolate industry, but also to a big event on the Christian calendar. I am not exactly a Christian, but I like the idea of resurrection / rebirth as much as anyone else. And I'll say this for Christianity: it has been around a long time, and at least Jesus did not, to my knowledge, try to give His ideas leverage by claiming they had been proven by quantum physics.

Speaking of hollow, if you've been in my Whirled a while you know that I am fascinated with Hollow-Earth theories. What lies beneath is a perennially intriguing topic to me. Some people have long believed the interior of the Earth is home to advanced civilizations, Utopian societies, even Paradise. Others believe that's where Hell is.

Which leads me to another topic with which I am also inordinately fascinated: the Nether Worlds Reclamation Project. The latter is a project headed by Extreme Lightworker Bryan James and the Divine Mother. It seems that Bryan discovered there were some 50 million lost souls from all over creation stranded in the Nether Regions. I don't know if this was due to bad weather, missed flights, or just a poor sense of direction, but some had been stranded Down There for thousands of years.

And then Bryan came along. For several months now, he and the Divine Mother and thousands of volunteer lightworkers have been working to get these folks back to their homes. I have been periodically sharing progress reports, and I am pleased to present the latest numbers Bryan just sent to me:

100% have shown some movement
100% have opened their eyes
94% are walking around (48% without assistance)
80% are asking questions (e.g., “Who am I?” or “Where am I?”)
36% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools
202,522 have been taken home to start a new beginning

Now, that's progress. And you can still get in on this project too. All you have to do, before you go to sleep, is ask to be taken to the Nether Worlds in your dream state. Once you get there, the Divine Mother or someone will tell you what to do. Do exactly as you're told, don't wander around the place, and don't think you can get away with stealing artifacts from Hell that you can later sell on eBay. When you wake up, or even before, send an email to Bryan at contact@circleoflights.com. For each night you serve, you'll get a free frequency acceleration activation. I'm still not sure exactly what that is, but it would normally cost you $24.99.

Anyway, I just thought you'd want to hear this happy news. It's also a heads-up, so to speak, to be on the alert as more and more lost souls return home. Although many are going home to other realms besides Earth, I am sure that a number of them are coming back here. So if you suddenly start noticing some rather odd-looking strangers in your neck of the woods who look like they've been to Hell and back again, they very well may have been. Treat them kindly.

And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go bite the head off a hollow chocolate bunny. I hope y'all have a happy Easter, Passover, Generic Spring Holiday, or whatever you choose to celebrate.

Fridaze

Hey, it’s Friday! I’m sorry about getting so serious on y’all yesterday. Beware the Ides of March, indeed. Well, you’ll be pleased to know I’m back to normal today with my cheery reporting from the edge of reason. So here I go again, with this special Post-Ides edition of News You Can Use.

Hellacious progress
Yesterday I promised you an update on what’s going on in Hell, where, by some accounts, every day is Fry-day. (Warning to Blair: There are some pretty unsavory things about Gene Simmons on that link. Proceed at your own risk.)

On the other hand, there are many who believe the Nether Regions – and I’m not talking about naughty bits here, but the world below us – are filled with lost souls who just need a helping hand. If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you’re probably familiar with Extreme Lightworker Bryan James of Circle of Lights, who is leading the Nether Worlds Reclamation Project to rescue 50,000,000 lost souls from Down There. Some of these poor things have been stranded in Hell for thousands of years. Anyway, I just got another update via email, and you’ll be pleased to know that real progress is being made, thanks to Bryan and thousands of volunteer Lightworkers:

• 100% have shown some movement
• 100% have opened their eyes
• 66% are walking with some assistance (25% without)
• 58% are asking questions (e.g., "Who am I?" or "Where am I?")
• 15% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools
• 13% have ordered The Secret.

Ha, ha, just kidding about that last item. But that’s coming, I’m sure. There’s a whole new market opening up for Rhonda and company!

PRIME SOURCE speaks about "the Bad Seed"
Bryan James has also tapped into "Prime Source," aka God, Who actually prefers to be referred to by the former name. According to an email Bryan sent to me, Prime Source has issued a dire warning about our chromosomes.

The ‘Bad Seed’ is a Y chromosome that was placed in your DNA by the Dark. Through this means, you can sabotage yourself from achieving your ascension. Very few people would lose their way under most circumstances, were it not for the severe conditions this creates.

The Seed becomes activated when you choose to live your life contrary to mine. Your lives are meant to be manifestations of me. My purpose was never to create a duel (sic) path, which has caused many to lose their inheritance.

Be a Light. Love unconditionally. Send your Light and Love through out my creation.

Either Prime Source is saying that all men are potentially evil, or He/She/It is saying that we womenfolk also have a Y chromosome, which makes us susceptible to the Bad Seed as well. In any case, as long as you’re living your life in accordance with Prime Source, you should be okay. Just thought you’d want to know.

You must act now! (Or pay Steven to teach you how)
Are you a frustrated actor? Are you tired of getting nothing but bit parts in glorified infomercials? Oh, wait, that’s not necessarily such a bad gig.

CUT!

Okay, let’s try that again.

Are you a frustrated actor? Are you fed up with getting nothing but shopping-mall grand openings or feature appearances on Celebrity Nose-Blowing? Has your agent fired you?

Well, have you ever considered putting The Secret to work for you – not only to hone your craft but to attract better roles?

Then you will be thrilled to learn about an upcoming workshop from self-described American guru, business yogi, manifestation scientist, and bestselling author Steven Sadleir. Among his many other accomplishments, Steven is director of The Leading Edge Corporation, which teaches corporations and individuals how to squander copious amounts of money on more unadulterated crap take conscious control of their minds. Sadleir, according to a recent news release, "provides practical step-by-step training in using The Law of Attraction to create greater prosperity, happiness and peace."

And now he’s bringing the astonishing power of LOA and The Secret to actors. At the end of the month he’ll be delivering the big Secret to Empowered Actors, a Los Angeles based organization that "provides actors and those in the performing arts access to prominent speakers, information and activities that empower their careers." I first learned of this on Jody Radzik’s Guruphiliac blog, and thought it worthy of passing on.

And to all of us naysayers who have scoffed at the idea that the Law Of Attraction is science, here’s egg on our faces! Sadleir has cracked the code to LOA. According to the news release mentioned above, he has discovered that the process of creating what you want can be scientifically ’splained through the equation (I + E) x F = M, or "Clarity of Intention plus Energy times Focus equals what you Manifest in your live (sic)."

But just knowing this equation isn’t enough. "It’s one thing to understand these laws and another to bring them into practical use," says Pauline Doan, Director of Public Relations at The Leading Edge. She adds, "People need more guidance for these principals to be effective, and that's what we provide them."

Move over, Einstein! (And move over, Scientology, Cruise, Travolta et al., for that matter.)

Secretrons? I’m all Forum!
The more research I do, the more amazed I am at the many different ways The Secret and LOA can be put to use in everyday life. Just a passing glance at Marcy From Maui’s Powerful Intentions Forum reveals how lives can be changed dramatically by application of LOA. For example, there’s Chantal, who says her balding husband has actually used LOA to grow more hair. Excited Forum mates wanted to know just how he was doing it, and Chantal gladly shared:

He does his hair daily, without trying to "hide" the bald spots.
Before, he would bring his chin down and always focus on the bald spot.
Now, he has his chin UP and doesn't even see it while he does his hair.
He tells himself that he has lots of hair and he also visualize having more while he's brushing them. He keeps telling himself that new hair is constantly growing...
That's about it I think.
I also bought him a new shampoo who thickens hair...so maybe that helps too!
Blessings,
Chantal

And then there’s a guy named Sal, who was inspired by watching The Secret to turn his life around. "I need a mantra for porn addiction!" he pled to his fellow Forum members.

As it turns out, I’ve got a porn mantra that may help: "keepuhtowelhandee."

That’s it for now…back to work!

Things are looking up...I think

I hate to have to deviate from my role of Captain Bring-Down, skipper of my very own electronic garbage barge (as one of the Secretrons helpfully suggested the other day), but I felt compelled to share some good news. It’s been a while since I reported on the Nether Regions rescue project that’s being run by Extreme Lightworker Bryan James. Bryan, owner of Circle of Lights, is heading up this daring project to rescue 50 million souls who are trapped in Hell. Along with Mother Mary, several Ascended Masters and Chakra Queen / Powerful Intender Shondra Burt – plus thousands of viewers like you* – Bryan has managed to make a real difference in Hell. Here, according to Bryan, are the latest stats on those 50 million folks:

• 100% have shown some movement
• 100% have opened their eyes
• 45% are walking with some assistance (6% without)
• 39% are asking questions (e.g., "Who am I?" or "Where am I?")
• 2% are regaining cognitive ability

So how do we know we can trust Bryan’s numbers? Well, he’s pretty knowledgeable about numbers, as I have previously reported on this very blog. Furthermore, he’s the father of two Indigo Children. How can you not trust a man like that?

By the way, you still have a chance to get in on the Nether Regions rescue project. There’s a lot more work to be done, and there's a heck of a lot going on down there, as indicated by the pictures here. To participate in the fun, all you have to do, before you go to sleep at night, is ask to be taken to the Nether Worlds while in your dream state. Once you get to Hell, simply provide support for the Holy Ones trying to revive the souls coming out of comatose conditions. You may be called upon to make donut runs, put out a few fires, do some light typing and filing, clean up some excrement here and there, or simply participate in a prayer, meditation, or group hug.

Then you simply send Bryan an email telling him how many nights you served. It’s totally on the honor system, but remember, Mother Mary and all those Masters are watching you. For every night you serve in Hell, you will receive one free Frequency Acceleration from Bryan, which would normally set you back $24.99.

Bryan James also offers Extreme Lightwork training. Sign up for a class and you’ll receive:

• An etheric electric blue robe that signifies membership in the Sacred Order of Dionysius, who is in charge of all Lightworkers.
• An etheric Light Rod with a frequency of 9,999. This is a useful tool for generating Light energy at a moment's notice for healing or clearing negative energies. (Eat your heart out, Luke Skywalker!)
  
• A legion (1,000) of protective angels from Archangel Michael. This number can be increased as necessary.
• A squad of Lightwarriors from Horus (Heru) for protection (usually two to four, but more are available as necessary).
• 18 Protective Light Shields from Melchizedek. This number is also increased as necessary.
• 5,000 'teammates' from other dimensions (originating from over 600,000 dimensions). This number grows as a person grows in their Lightwork. No other person on the planet outside of this group has more than 200 teammates. (Even Verizon Wireless, with its "Network" headed up by that friendly but suspiciously reticent dweeb, can't beat this deal.)
  
• Advanced class receives much more!

So… that’s what some concerned souls are doing as we hurtle towards the End of Days (or not). At least that’s what I think they are doing. And I think they are serious. But boy, will my face be red if I find out that this is all part of some elaborate online game community or something.

* Well, like you, except a lot more gullible.

It’s a party down there!

Just in time for the holidays, I got some good news from Bryan James, the self-described "Extreme Lightworker" who has been emailing regular updates on a mass rescue of 50 million souls who are caught in the Nether Worlds. Bryan is coordinating this project in conjunction with Mary the Divine Mother, and a channeler named Shondra Burt, aka The Chakra Queen, as well as innumerable Lightworkers from many dimensions. Shondra, by the way, is a member of the Powerful Intentions forum, and one of her stated intentions is, "To Emerge into Freedom and Radical Wealth beyond reason, Complete, just as I AM. " Sounds like a pretty powerful intention to me!


But I digress. Although I predicted a few weeks ago that all of these lost souls would be rescued by Christmas, it looks as if it’s going to take a little longer. But the news is still good; for one thing, there are now flowers in Hell. Here are the latest stats:

As of 12/15/06, about 98% have shown some movement (49 million), 94% (47 million) have opened their eyes, 26% are walking around with some help (13 million) and a small percentage (750,000) without assistance. 20% (10 million) are starting to ask questions such as "Who am I?", "Where am I?", "What is this place?" and "Why am I here?," and 500,000 are regaining cognitive ability.

There has also been a manifestation of grass, flowers, trees, streams and birds as the Light energy continues to pour into this once desolate, dark area.

You still have a chance to get in on the Nether Worlds rescue project. That's right: you too can go to Hell in your dream state and share your light with the lost ones. It’s very simple. For instructions, click here and scroll down to the subhead, "It’s now or nether."

To tell the truth, I really don’t know what to believe about the Nether Worlds. According to Bryan and friends, it's dark and desolate down there, or at least it was before the emergency Lightworker teams showed up. According to some Hollow Earth researchers, though, the World Below is home to many advanced civilizations. In fact, some believe Heaven is located at the Earth’s core instead of somewhere Up There.

And then there's a group of people who believe that Hell is just one big party, with attractive guys, gals and goats for everyone. They present some pretty compelling evidence that it's a blast down there. Who knew?

But maybe you don’t want to go to the Nether Worlds for Christmas, even in your sleep. Maybe partying in Hell isn’t for you. Perhaps you’d rather stay up here on the surface and enjoy your own private holiday Hell on Earth with your dysfunctional family and your marginally functional friends. Matter of fact, that’s what I’m doing. Well, I recently found out about something that can help you celebrate the season and make it extra special (actually, you’ll be getting a bit of a late start, but better late than never). On her Stupid and Contagious blog, RockitQueen reports on a little-known tradition that gives a whole new meaning to the term, "Yule Log." Check it out.

Whichever traditions you choose to follow, whichever holidays you are celebrating, boycotting or merely enduring, I hope the next few days are filled with good food, good friends, and good fun.

Another fragmented Friday

Just a few potshots and then I’m off to take care of business...

How it’s going "down there"
Here’s the latest from Extreme Lightworker Bryan James, who is working with "Chakra Queen" Shondra Burt and Mary, Mother of God to rescue 50 million lost souls from the Nether Regions:*

As of 12/4/06, about 90% have shown some movement (45 million), 85% (42.5 million) have opened their eyes, 15% are walking around with some help (7.5 million) and 1% without assistance (500K). More are starting to ask questions (5 million) such as "Who am I?", "Where am I?", "What is this place?" and "Why am I here?", and 125K are now starting to regain cognitive ability.

Meanwhile, this just in: More and more people on Bryan’s email list are losing cognitive ability, a necessary sacrifice in order to maintain balance in the Universe. Above-ground volunteers are still needed to help with the Nether Worlds project – no experience necessary, cognitive ability not required. Contact Bryan at the Circle of Lights web site for more info.

Who’s in charge now
In the email with the Nether Worlds Project progress report came this stunning announcement:

Divine Mother has NOW officially accepted dominion over the Earth
As of 12/4/06, The Holy Mother has officially taken dominion over the Earth, and will work with the Hosts of Heaven to implement changes that the people of Earth request as part of restoring the planet and leading her to ascension. Lightworkers should make their requests for changes through the appropriate officials as necessary. Remember, changes require our ‘permission’ before the Holy Ones can intervene in our society. The following Ascended Beings are now taking charge of, and will hear requests for changes in all aspects of world society:
Business and Commerce – El Morya [sic], in cooperation with Cosmic Connie, who has been appointed Monetary Unit Queen of the Planet. Please send as much of your monetary units as you can afford (US dollars only), to Connie, care of her blog**
Education – Melchizedek
Environment – Lady Athena
Government – St. Germaine***
Heath (sic) – White Buffalo Calf Women****
Religion – Maitrya [sic] Buddha

But remember, Mary’s in charge of it all. Go, Holy Mama! (That's El Moyra's mug on the blog today, by the way. I think someone ought to introduce him to Saint Germain, if you know what I mean. Of course Germain's pal, the drag queen Violet Flame, might get jealous...)

A tranny in The Secret?
I was looking at the list of "teachers" in the cult infomercial The Secret, and was struck by the description of the Rev. Doctor Michael Beckwith, D.D., whose profession is listed as "Visionary." The RevDoc was one of the guests on Part 1 of Larry King’s promotional piece for The Secret. On his November 6 SHAMblog post, Steve Salerno described Beckwith's appearance on the Larry King show as "surreally weird," musing that "in dress, speech, mannerisms and overall demeanor [he] looked as if his birth-name might really be Zormak From The Planet Woosabi-6."

Actually, I kind of like the RevDoc's dreadlocks, and besides, the guy obviously has a good heart. Twenty years ago he founded the Agape International Spiritual Center, described on the web site as a community "whose doors are open to all seekers in search of authentic spirituality, personal transformation and selfless service to humankind."

But it was Dr. Beckwith’s description on The Secret web site that intrigued me. He is listed there as "a non-aligned, trans-religious progressive." Now, "progressive" I understand – well, at least I think I do – but I am puzzled by the other terms. Trans-religious, for example. Does this mean he had a surgical procedure to change his religion? And non-aligned – does this mean his chakras are out of balance, or that he is not in sync with the Earth’s magnetic fields? However non-aligned he might be, and, for that matter, whatever planet he's from, he certainly seems to be in sync with the money stream.

All together now: "He’s just a sweet trans-religious from"….nah, doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.*****

Overused and much abused, continued
Is it just me, or are journalists using the word "iconic" way too much these days? Would that be merely to make them sound intelligent, or does it really mean something?

And then there's, "Having said that," or "That said, however..." Wouldn’t a simple "but" or "however" or even "on the other hand" be sufficient, at least once in a while? Having said that, I realize that people sometimes just have a deep need to sound more thoughtful than they really are. Good Goddess, I could be one of those very people.

And... memo to all sitcom writers: "Not so much" is not so much clever any more as it is overused to the point of obnoxiousness. It isn't remotely cute, although I have been known to use it and probably will again, though not so much as others who make their living writing comedy and often have to fall back on the overused crap when they run out of ideas.

I know, of course, I have my own writing quirks and overused phrases. For example, if I use the terms, "In any event" or "In any case" or "At any rate" one more time, I’m going to have to give myself a serious talking-to. And I'm sure Whirled Musings is littered with other overused phrases. But then again, this blog is informal, off-the-top-of-my-head writing, usually executed in a great hurry – in other words, not the kind of writing I do in my day job.

Or maybe I'm just lazy.

PS – I also realize that I’m often snarky on this blog. But it’s only because I am using WM as a tool to help me embrace my inner bitch…I mean, my shadow self. And so off I go, chasing my shadow out of this little room and into the big bright day. But I’ll be back snarking again just as soon as I can.

* I wouldn't trust that Nether Regions link if I were you.
**Okay, I made the Cosmic Connie part up. But if the spirit so moves you…
*** Actually the preferred spelling is St. Germain. Unless Bryan is talking about Saint Germaine Cousin.
**** I am not sure if Bryan intended this ("Buffalo Women") to be plural or if he just has a really bad proofreader.
***** In regard to RevDoc Beckworth's bizarre appearance, however, we would do well to remember the immortal words of Dr. Frank-n-Furter: "Don't get strung out, by the way I look / Don't judge a book by its cover..."

Friday fragments

Here it is December already, at least by the Gregorian Calendar. Since my thoughts are somewhat fragmented, I'll just scatter a few tidbits before going off to run some errands with The Rev…

Movin’ on up
Just got some wonderful news from my favorite Lightworker, Bryan James,* regarding the 50 million lost souls in the Nether Regions:

As of 11/27/06, about 80% have shown some movement (40 million), 70% of them (35 million) have opened their eyes, 6% are walking around with some help (3 million) and a small percentage (750,000) are asking questions like "Who am I?", "Where am I?", and "Why am I here?"

This is amazing progress, especially considering that some of these lost children have been sleeping down there for thousands of years. It took a miracle worker like Bryan, in conjunction with Shondra "The Chakra Queen" Bert, to wake these folks up. I have a strong feeling – call it intuition, call it psychic ability – that at this rate, the lost ones really will all be "home for Christmas," which is the Lightworkers' implicit goal. I’m not sure all of these lost souls actually celebrate Christmas, since some of them have been down there since before there even was a Christmas, or a Christ, but hey, those are just details. I expect to get an email on or about Christmas Eve, informing me that, thanks to the diligent work of Bryan and Shondra and a host of Holy Ones, the goal has been reached.

And there’s even more exciting news. Now, just in time for the Holy Season, you can hear the voice of Mary, Mother of God, Divine Mother of us all. I was a little disappointed to find out that Mary actually sounds a little timid and whiny, but that is probably because she’s using a nice upper-middle-aged lady (that would be our Shondra) as a vehicle. At least she isn’t speaking in a dreadful foreign accent like the masters who talk through Penny Torres, aka "ammagi," aka Swami Blonde. Anyway, to hear Mary speak about the Nether World project, the return of the Divine Feminine and some other crap important matters, click here.

And, as usual, your thoughts, prayers, love, light and monetary energy units will be appreciated to help Bryan and Shondra with their Nether World project.

I warned you about whales and dolphins…
…but y’all aren’t listening. How many "incidents" with p.o.’d captive killer whales, or angry wild dolphins, is it going to take to convince you people?

I’ll say it once again: Dolphins and whales do not like us, and many of them actually hate us. I heard it from noted marine mammal biologist Dr. Dell Finnaday, and as a service to humanity I put the information on this blog (not to mention in my BLP (book-like product), Cosmic Relief). Find something else to go on enlightened swims with – clown fish, sea turtles, small octopi (who, according to some scientists, are as intelligent as domestic cats**) – and leave the cetaceans alone, for Goddess’ sake.

I apologize to The Secretrons
My sincerest apologies to angry fans of The Secret who may have thought I was implying, on my November 28 post, that they are in any way hygiene-impaired. The misunderstanding was a result of my use of the well-known term "unwashed masses" to refer to the common people. I was only playing on the words of the Secret star who told ABCNews.com: "This is the most historic moment in history because this powerful information is being broadcast to the masses, to the people on the street in a way they can understand and relate to. They sit. They watch it. They absorb it." That sounded quite condescending to me, so I just carried on the condescending theme. Hey, that guy started it. Or, in LOA parlance, he attracted it.

In truth I am well aware that the average fan of The Secret is middle- to upper-middle-class, and many are striving mightily to be upper-class (not that there is really anything so distasteful as "class" in the New-Wage world. There are, however, ritzy gated communities in the Texas Hill Country, in Taos, in Sedona, on Maui, and in other enlightened spots.). At any rate, the average Secret fan is undoubtedly well-versed in personal hygiene, and is, I would venture to guess, an avid consumer of hygiene-related products, particularly if the word "aromatherapy" appears somewhere on the label.

However, since some of y’all did bring it up, I do wonder about some of the people who claim to have watched The Secret 200 times in two weeks, and the like. Unless they haul their hygiene materials out to the media room, or they have a TV or other device that allows them to view The Secret in their bathroom, it would seem that watching the best-selling infomercial would leave little time for personal hygiene or anything else. But then, maybe people who know The Secret are experts at multi-tasking, or perhaps even bilocation. I clearly know nothing about the subjects covered in The Secret, as a few enlightened souls have been kind enough to point out to me.***

And so in my abject state of ignorance I leave you, Dear Ones, to venture with The Rev out into the brilliant cold of this glorious December morning. Don’t forget to send your love and light to those lost souls in the Nether Worlds. Or, better yet, send me some money, and I’ll send the love and light for you.

* Why do I get the feeling that Bryan’s wife Lisa (whose pic appears on the Circle of Lights web site, but about whom nothing is actually said) is the main earner in the family, by virtue of having a real job that allows Bryan to engage in his New-Wage hobbies?
** And more intelligent than some cat owners.
*** Why does, "Jane, you ignorant slut?" come to mind?

Nether give up

I just received some great news from my favorite Lightworker, Bryan James. Bryan, in cooperation with Mother Mary, has been conducting "Extreme Lightwork" to awaken some 50 million "lost" souls stuck in the Netherlands. Apparently these poor souls were in some coffee shops in Amsterdam and overindulged a bit…no, wait, that’s another project. Bryan and the Holy Mama are trying to rescue the lost ones from the Nether Worlds. Matter of fact, I blogged about that a couple of weeks ago (second subhead, "What (or who) lies beneath"). Well, there’s good news, according to the update Bryan just sent me:

As of 11/22/06, about 41% have shown some movement (20.5 million), 26% of them (13 million) have opened their eyes, 2% are walking around with some help (1 million) and a small percentage (250,000) are asking questions like "Who am I?", "Where am I?", and "Why am I here?"

Similar behavior has been observed among the lost souls in the Amsterdam coffee shops.

Bryan also conducted an exclusive interview with Mary recently:

Question: (Bryan) Mary, can I ask a question? I wanted to know if you could give us an update on how soon the Holy Ones will start going down into the Nether Worlds to start working directly with the souls down there?
Answer: This is a project that has the utmost priority at this time. Initial teams are forming, and resuscitation techniques are being developed. Since this has never been done before, we may have to try many things before we find the sequence that works…

Even as we speak there are floods of Light pouring into the Nether Worlds to facilitate this work…

You can find out more about when the Holy Ones are going to Hell, and other matters, by subscribing to Bryan’s Agents of Light newsletter. It will keep you informed of "new and often secret developments affecting you and the planet’s ascension." According to Bryan, his newsletter is the only source for info on:

*The predicted attempt of nuclear terrorist attacks on 5 U.S. airlines.
*New energies for planet more powerful than the Violet Flame.
*New tools for Lightworkers to create ‘Heaven on Earth.’
*The predicted attempt/failure of a terrorist attack on U.S. airlines.
*The thwarted attempt to meltdown a U.S. Nuclear Power Plant.
*The truth behind the attack made on oil refineries in Yemen.
*The truth on NASA’s Deep Impact Comet and how it nearly hit the U.S. East Coast.

Well, that’s it. I’m heading out to enjoy my Sunday with the Rev. Meanwhile, if you wish to indulge in some marginally more serious blogging fun, head on over to Steve Salerno’s SHAMblog, where the current discussion topics, as of this writing, include everything from Ralph Waldo Emerson to the cultural significance of the Barbie doll. However you choose to spend your Sunday (or your Monday, for those of you in other time zones way ahead of this one), have fun. And don’t forget to send lots of positive thoughts, love and light down to your nether regions…oops, I mean to The Nether Regions.