Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Half-baked thoughts

Oh, dear, it’s another busy Tuesday, and I’m afraid I’m going to have to serve leftovers again because I don't have time to cook up a whole big post from scratch. So here are some thoughts that were left over from the stuff that was whirling around in my head earlier this morning. They're not all new-age/self-help-related, but they definitely fall within the larger category of pop-culture stuff...

Check out those cupcakes!
I might have suspected some silly new trend was afoot when
David Letterman mentioned last night that his two-year-old son had been invited to "a cupcake party." At the time I heard it I was pretty drowsy, having taken a couple of Excedrin PMs, and I couldn't manage to do much more than ask myself the half-baked question, "What the f - - - is a ‘cupcake party?’". My question was not answered, but Dave went on to talk about going to the party to pick his son up, and seeing all of the tots sitting around with vacant looks on their chubby little cupcake-smeared faces.

Well, what a difference half a day makes. I know now that those were probably some pretty pricey smears, and it kind of makes you wonder why parents would waste all that money on children who are obviously too young and uncultured to appreciate what a painfully trendy treat cupcakes have become. But then again, rich parents, and even not-so-rich ones, are known for splurging on kiddie parties. And cupcakes are pretty small potatoes, so to speak, compared to elephants, camels, and front-yard theme parks.

"Wait a minute," I hear you saying. "Cupcakes are trendy?" Yup, you read right: trendy, as in being the egregiously overpriced, must-have pastries for today’s cutting-edge consumer. In other words, cupcakes have become snob food. I learned about the cupcake boom today in a story by another David: the Houston Chronicle’s David Kaplan, who has the small-business and retail beat at the Chron, and has been one of my favorite local journalists for many years.

To tell the truth, I never much cared for cupcakes, and I certainly never thought I would actually read the words "connoisseur" or "niche dining" in relation to these omnipresent little muffinites. But they’re all there in David K.’s article*, complete with a quotation from Houston attorney Barry Leavitt, who considers himself a cupcake connoisseur. Barry knows from good cupcakes: "Too much icing or too many sprinkles takes away from the integrity of the cupcake," he explains.

And cupcakes are serious business, as evidenced by, for example, LA’s excruciatingly hip and minimalist gourmet cupcake boutique, Sprinkles. Word has it that Houston and other major cities are due to get a Sprinkles within the next few years as the company expands. We already have $3.00 cupcakes at some fashionable inner-Loop spots here, but Sprinkles ’cakes are really something special, at least according to their web site. They’re made with quality ingredients such as Madagascar bourbon, Senegalese bitter-mint chocolate, Patagonian butter rum, Brazilian rainforest guano, etc. Okay, I'm making most of those things up. But there is something on the Sprinkles web site about Madagascar bourbon something-or-other, and a few other snooty-sounding ingredients that supposedly justify the $3.25-per-unit retail price.

Next trend on the snob-chow horizon: American cheese-food sandwiches on white bread with the crusts cut off, retailing for $15.00 and up for half a sandwich.

It’s now or nether
I know you’ve been waiting for another progress report on
Bryan the Lightworker’s "emptying Hell" project, which I last blogged about this past Friday. As you may recall, Bryan is attempting to rescue 50 million lost souls from the Nether Worlds. He is being aided by a channeler named Shondra Bert and also by Mary, Mother of God.

Here are the latest stats I have on the project:

As of 11/30/06, about 85% have shown some movement (42.5 million), 75% (37.5 million) have opened their eyes, 10% are walking around with some help (5 million) and a small percentage (1 million) are asking questions such as "Who am I?", "Where am I?", "What is this place?" and "Why am I here?"

Bryan and his crew also need volunteers to help at night during their dream state, and they’ve extended an amazing free offer for anyone who serves. All you have to do is dream you’re going to Hell. Here’s what you do, according to the email Bryan just sent me:

1. Before you go to sleep, ask to be taken to the Nether Worlds while in your dream state.
2. Provide support for the Holy Ones trying to revive the souls just coming out of comatose conditions.
3. Tell us how many nights you served via email at:
contact@circleoflights.com

You will receive one frequency acceleration activation – a $24.99 value! – for every night you serve.**

No word on how much you get if your waking life is a living Hell.

Gray area
In yesterday’s blog I mentioned
"Dr." John Gray, who hails from my neck of the woods and is a self-help superstar by virtue of his Mars-and-Venus franchise. Today, via the comments section on Steve Salerno’s SHAMblog, I discovered another blog, Stupid & Contagious, by an edgy young pop-culture commentator who goes by the name of RockitQueen. On her Dec. 4 post RockitQueen mentioned Gray too. Well, to me that’s just Goddess’s way of saying that it is time for me to recycle yet another tidbit from my BLP (book-like product), Cosmic Relief.

You'll have to click on the pic to look at the larger version if you want to read the whole thing. I'm the first to admit that artistically (and probably every other way), the piece is quite crude, but you must consider that all I had available in those days was vector clip art. The face of "John Grate" actually began life as a clip-art pic of Martin Short. I do think I captured the smirk, anyway, and the attitude as well. And I have the sneaking suspicion that it was this piece that helped convince Gray’s mom, the late Virginia Gray, not to carry Cosmic Relief in her metaphysical bookstore, Aquarian Age Bookshelf. (Yes, I did try.)

Now go out and have a great Tuesday (or Wednesday, if it’s already Wednesday in your part of the world). Don’t forget to send love and light to all those lost souls in the Nether Worlds, and send some money my way so I can continue to do my own work for the highest good. And, most important of all, watch out for cupcakes that lack integrity.***

* Please do not blame David for this. He is only reporting it.
** Essentially, you get $24.99 worth of something the seller can’t prove actually exists for doing something you don’t have to prove you actually did. Heck of a deal!
*** Such as Pamela Anderson’s. Or Britney’s.

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