Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Friday, March 16, 2007


Hey, it’s Friday! I’m sorry about getting so serious on y’all yesterday. Beware the Ides of March, indeed. Well, you’ll be pleased to know I’m back to normal today with my cheery reporting from the edge of reason. So here I go again, with this special Post-Ides edition of News You Can Use.

Hellacious progress
Yesterday I promised you an update on what’s going on in Hell, where,
by some accounts, every day is Fry-day. (Warning to Blair: There are some pretty unsavory things about Gene Simmons on that link. Proceed at your own risk.)

On the other hand, there are many who believe the Nether Regions – and I’m not talking about naughty bits here, but the world below us – are filled with lost souls who just need a helping hand. If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you’re probably familiar with Extreme Lightworker Bryan James of Circle of Lights, who is leading the Nether Worlds Reclamation Project to rescue 50,000,000 lost souls from Down There. Some of these poor things have been stranded in Hell for thousands of years. Anyway, I just got another update via email, and you’ll be pleased to know that real progress is being made, thanks to Bryan and thousands of volunteer Lightworkers:

  • 100% have shown some movement
  • 100% have opened their eyes
  • 66% are walking with some assistance (25% without)
  • 58% are asking questions (e.g., "Who am I?" or "Where am I?")
  • 15% are regaining cognitive ability and attending schools
  • 13% have ordered The Secret.

Ha, ha, just kidding about that last item. But that’s coming, I’m sure. There’s a whole new market opening up for Rhonda and company!

PRIME SOURCE speaks about "the Bad Seed"
Bryan James has also tapped into "Prime Source," aka God, Who actually prefers to be referred to by the former name. According to an email Bryan sent to me, Prime Source has issued a dire warning about our chromosomes.

The ‘Bad Seed’ is a Y chromosome that was placed in your DNA by the Dark. Through this means, you can sabotage yourself from achieving your ascension. Very few people would lose their way under most circumstances, were it not for the severe conditions this creates.

The Seed becomes activated when you choose to live your life contrary to mine. Your lives are meant to be manifestations of me. My purpose was never to create a duel (sic) path, which has caused many to lose their inheritance.

Be a Light. Love unconditionally. Send your Light and Love through out my creation.

Either Prime Source is saying that all men are potentially evil, or He/She/It is saying that we womenfolk also have a Y chromosome, which makes us susceptible to the Bad Seed as well. In any case, as long as you’re living your life in accordance with Prime Source, you should be okay. Just thought you’d want to know.

You must act now! (Or pay Steven to teach you how)
Are you a frustrated actor? Are you tired of getting nothing but bit parts in glorified infomercials? Oh, wait,
that’s not necessarily such a bad gig.


Okay, let’s try that again.

Are you a frustrated actor? Are you fed up with getting nothing but shopping-mall grand openings or feature appearances on Celebrity Nose-Blowing? Has your agent fired you?

Well, have you ever considered putting The Secret to work for you – not only to hone your craft but to attract better roles?

Then you will be thrilled to learn about an upcoming workshop from self-described American guru, business yogi, manifestation scientist, and bestselling author Steven Sadleir. Among his many other accomplishments, Steven is director of The Leading Edge Corporation, which teaches corporations and individuals how to squander copious amounts of money on more unadulterated crap take conscious control of their minds. Sadleir, according to a recent news release, "provides practical step-by-step training in using The Law of Attraction to create greater prosperity, happiness and peace."

And now he’s bringing the astonishing power of LOA and The Secret to actors. At the end of the month he’ll be delivering the big Secret to Empowered Actors, a Los Angeles based organization that "provides actors and those in the performing arts access to prominent speakers, information and activities that empower their careers." I first learned of this on Jody Radzik’s Guruphiliac blog, and thought it worthy of passing on.

And to all of us naysayers who have scoffed at the idea that the Law Of Attraction is science, here’s egg on our faces! Sadleir has cracked the code to LOA. According to the news release mentioned above, he has discovered that the process of creating what you want can be scientifically ’splained through the equation (I + E) x F = M, or "Clarity of Intention plus Energy times Focus equals what you Manifest in your live (sic)."

But just knowing this equation isn’t enough. "It’s one thing to understand these laws and another to bring them into practical use," says Pauline Doan, Director of Public Relations at The Leading Edge. She adds, "People need more guidance for these principals to be effective, and that's what we provide them."

Move over, Einstein! (And move over, Scientology, Cruise, Travolta et al., for that matter.)

Secretrons? I’m all Forum!
The more research I do, the more amazed I am at the many different ways The Secret and LOA can be put to use in everyday life. Just a passing glance at
Marcy From Maui’s Powerful Intentions Forum reveals how lives can be changed dramatically by application of LOA. For example, there’s Chantal, who says her balding husband has actually used LOA to grow more hair. Excited Forum mates wanted to know just how he was doing it, and Chantal gladly shared:

He does his hair daily, without trying to "hide" the bald spots.
Before, he would bring his chin down and always focus on the bald spot.
Now, he has his chin UP and doesn't even see it while he does his hair.
He tells himself that he has lots of hair and he also visualize having more while he's brushing them. He keeps telling himself that new hair is constantly growing...
That's about it I think.
I also bought him a new shampoo who thickens hair...so maybe that helps too!

And then there’s a guy named Sal, who was inspired by watching The Secret to turn his life around. "I need a mantra for porn addiction!" he pled to his fellow Forum members.

As it turns out, I’ve got a porn mantra that may help: "keepuhtowelhandee."

That’s it for now…back to work!

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Blogger a/good/lysstener said...

You write some amazing stuff Connie. It gets better all the time. I don't remember if I ever actually commented on your blog before, but I read it as often as I can and I love not only your sense of humor but the serious implications behind it and the way you see things.

Friday, March 16, 2007 12:45:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you, Alyssa. I really appreciate your support. Sometimes humor is the best way to deal with all the craziness.

And I hope you keep on blogging too!

Friday, March 16, 2007 12:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

[Delete if this is duplicate! I'm not sure if my other one went through]

I swear, Connie, where do you find this stuff?!

In addition to thigh-high wading boots, I'm gonna have to get a strap-on stomach. (I know, I know, my third chakra is oversensitive.)

But somebody's gotta expose this lunacy.

Friday, March 16, 2007 2:50:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Lana: Blogger is really acting up today. It keeps resetting the "allow comments" option. But rest assured this came through fine.

Where do I find this stuff, you ask? I guess I just attract it! :-)

Friday, March 16, 2007 2:57:00 PM  
Anonymous Blair Warren said...

Hi Connie,

I agree with Alyssa and Lana...you're an amazing writer and always seem to find the most fascinating subjects to lampoon.

I also agree with you on the importance of humor. A couple of years back I got so deep into the "psycho-crap" I like to study that it nearly did me in.

But the moment I regained my sense of humor and started using it in some of my work, things became just a bit more bearable. They still don't make any sense; they're just more bearable. :)

As for Gene Simmons' reservation in hell, (according to the link you referenced above), well, something tells me he probably isn't worrying about it much.

Beside, since he has more money than God, I'm sure he could make different arrangements if he so chooses.

Besides, isn't it written somewhere that we should not judge lest we be judged?

If so, maybe these folks have it backwards, no?

Friday, March 16, 2007 8:13:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you, Blair! I'm not too worried about Gene's fate either. I'm more worried about the possibility that the stick-up-the-arse person who created that web site may be raising children in a climate of fundamentalist guilt and fear. Kinda sad, isn't it? But the web site is funny, anyway.

Friday, March 16, 2007 8:22:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

any woman who obsesses this much on one thing must have a screw loose somewhere.
Lady you need help...or someone to tighten up that loose screw

Hell maybe you just need to get screwed


Bob Collier

PS can you please do something about that psycho looking pic you have

Friday, March 16, 2007 9:57:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Umm...excuse me... but are you the same Bob Collier who has spoken out so passionately AGAINST "The Secret" and Rhonda Byrne on several discussion forums (including the Kevin Hogan "Secret v. Science" forum)?

That Bob Collier welcomed me to the above-mentioned forum and said, "Thanks for joining in. I have to go back now to repairing the damage that know nothing halfwit from Melbourne [Rhonda] has done to my work. What she's dumped on the uninformed makes me ashamed to be Australian."

link: http://www.thesecretversusscience.com/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=17

I thought we were on the same side here.

Or...do you just have...uh...mood swings?

Or are you another Bob Collier altogether?

Saturday, March 17, 2007 12:01:00 AM  
Blogger Calista McKnight said...

I couldn't agree more with everyone.

Connie, you are a wonderful writer and I just love the way you depict these "New Wage" charlatans.

By the way, I find it hard to believe that's the same Bob Collier as parental-intelligence.com

Bob's another excellent and meticulous writer and that post just doesn't sound like him.

Saturday, March 17, 2007 7:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Blair Warren said...

"Bob Collier" said...

"any woman who obsesses this much on one thing must have a screw loose somewhere."

But Bob, isn't obsessing about one thing the very message behind The Secret?

Focus, focus, focus on what you want, not on what you don't want.

In this case, I think Connie wants to expose The Secret for the nonsense that it is. And, I think she's doing an excellent job at it.

As for her picture, I happen to like it.

Now that I think about it, your comment makes me wonder if you really disagree with Connie, or if you just have a problem with blue people in general.

If so, I think that is very unfair.

I happen to know a lot of blue people and I have found them to be just like the rest of us. Sure, their food coloring tends to stain light colored fabrics, but otherwise, I don't see much difference.

Saturday, March 17, 2007 9:17:00 AM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

Connie -
Keep in mind that Blogger has no age verification process, and that many parents fail to monitor their children's browsing habits.

Not that you need to alter content... just don't be too surprised when some pre-teen comes here and exercises his (or her) new-found "power." And remember that the vast majority grow out of this kind of behavior once puberty kicks in. :-)

Saturday, March 17, 2007 9:36:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you so much, Calista. I found it hard to believe it was the same "Bob Collier" as well, since I've read his posts elsewhere and not only were they very intelligent, but they indicated to me that we were playing on the same team. So either there's a Bad Bob lurking about (well, bad in my eyes), or there's someone who's decided to take Good Bob's name. Someone should warn Good Bob about this! :-)

Warning to all of y'all: If a Secretron or New-Wager going by the name of Cosmic Connie suddenly starts making nasty comments on your blogs, telling you that you "just don't understand" about "The Secret" -- and if it's clear the person is NOT being ironic -- you'll know my identity has been usurped.

Saturday, March 17, 2007 9:59:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

LOL, Blair. My thoughts exactly, re "obsession." It's funny. I can write a long, semi-thoughtful essay in which I attempt to look at the bigger issues of spirituality v. rationality... and not one Secret fan comes forward and acknowledges me for at least trying to understand "the other side." Or at least for taking a break from my normal snideness where "The Secret" is concerned.

But when it's back to business as usual, the Secretrons are out in force with their counter-attacks, mostly accusing me of either being obsessed or ignorant. (Or of needing a good boink, LOL.)

Or...I can write about something completely non-Secret related, such as that "Babe in the woods" piece last week, about a Russian guy and that gal who may or may not exist... and I hear not one word from any offended soul who thinks I shouldn't make fun of people who try to exploit the masses with tales of mystical wisdom imparted by imaginary friends.

Or I can write any of dozens of other pieces that have nothing to do with "The Secret"... and there's not a word from the critics. Well, I have gotten a few unprintable messages from Tilak fans, but that's an exception. And one appparent angel fan did seem a little miffed after reading my Dec. 23 piece, "Signs of the Season," but it was NOTHING compared to the wrath of the Secretrons when I utter an unkind word about "The Secret."

So...who's really obsessed here?

OTOH, it occurs to me that "Bob Collier" (Bad Bob, that is) didn't really mention what he thought I was obsessed *with*. We're all just assuming he meant "The Secret." But remember, I started off the "Fridaze" post with my customary periodic report on the progress of the Hell Project. I've written about this several times before. Maybe Bad Bob thinks *that* is my obsession.

At any rate, Blair, I thank you not only for your continued support of this blog but for being a champion of blue people. Although folks look at us strangely, we're actually pretty holy. After all, weren't Krishna and his pals blue too?

Saturday, March 17, 2007 10:20:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Ron! Whenever I get one of the nastier comments, I always wonder about the age thing too. Maybe I just bring out the pre-adolescent boy in otherwise normal adult males... must be my blue skin that sets 'em off, LOL.

But you're right; eventually they'll outgrow it, or they'll go find someone else to harass. If it's "The Secret" that has Young Bad Bob's feathers ruffled, he must be very busy these days harassing anti-Secret bloggers.

Saturday, March 17, 2007 10:24:00 AM  
Anonymous durga said...

Connie, sonce Bob's comment is under anonymous, I would doubt it was really him. Did you notice if on his other comments, he uses a registered moniker?

btw, I've been having a convo with someone i used to be associated with who I thought was die hard secret fan. He told me he attended what i think was a new age seminar, can't remember the name, where the teacher told him that there is no correlation between negative emotions and illnesses. Am glad to hear there are some out there in new age movement who are not towing that line. Then, even more interesting, is fact he was reading the NYT article about the secret which i suspect a more skeptical friend had suggested. So, it does seem that some of the recent critical treatment of the secret is trickling down.
One last tid bit- this person saw Joe Vitale speak at a new age event and says Joe is now saying that the Secret doesn't tell people about all the emotional work they need to do before being able to think such positive thoughts all the time. In other words, without resolving those "issues" first, being positive will just be a thin cover for all the unresolved negativity brewing under the surface. I'm not sure what joe says about how to root out inner conflict, but I guess it is in his new book.
Now i will go nurse my hangover from the wild night I had at SxSw.
HEB really looks weird at 2 am.

Sunday, March 18, 2007 1:28:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hey, Durga! Sorry about the hangover (I can relate; that's why I don't drink any more). But it sounds like you had a good time at SXSW!

It seems a lot of the teachers from "The Secret" are spending a lot of time qualifying the principles presented in the DVD and the book. While they're still milking "The Secret" for everything they can, they're also saying, either implicitly or explicitly, that *they* have products and services that can really help you fully use "The Secret." Of course they have to walk a fine line. As for Joe, all I know is what he's been touting on his blog -- mostly his Miracles Coaching service, the Subliminal Manifestation DVDs he's doing with Mark "The Seduction King" Ryan, and other stuff that will benefit his bottom line.

And, yes, he's building up for a big promo of his upcoming book on Ho'oponopono, the "ancient Hawaiian system" for health, wealth, happiness, and a new California mansion for Joe! :-)

It's pretty much the same thing all of the other "Secret" stars are doing -- the most notorious example right now being the Three Amigos (Canfield, Proctor & Beckwith) with their $1,995.00 MLM scheme.

But you're right, criticism of "The Secret" has almost become an industry unto itself!

Sunday, March 18, 2007 6:14:00 PM  
Anonymous moi said...

As for Joe, all I know is what he's been touting on his blog -- mostly his Miracles Coaching service, the Subliminal Manifestation DVDs he's doing with Mark "The Seduction King" Ryan,

Does joe actually endorse that seduction thing?

btw, I didn't really have a hangover, I just stayed out too late cause of listening to a french and Mexican guitarist jam in someone's backyard. I have discovered that that is the real secret to happiness. I recommend it to anyone suffering from malignant negativity.

Monday, March 19, 2007 6:42:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Moi! Glad to hear you didn't have a hangover after all. As far as I know, Joe isn't actually pushing the seduction thing (that's Mark's shtick), but he IS pushing the subliminal manifestation DVD series that he created in partnership with Mark. And supposedly both the subliminal manifestation and the seduction stuff are based on the same "science."

Monday, March 19, 2007 11:59:00 PM  

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