Houston, we have a problem: Access Consciousness relocates HQ to H-Town

I don't know how I missed this one when the news first broke. I chalk it up to being altogether too preoccupied with shuffling through court documents regarding serial scammer Kevin Trudeau's civil and criminal cases, not to mention wading through the loony rants of Trudeau's ex-b.f.f. Mocktor Leonard Coldwell (here's the most recent post, which has links to many others). Anyhow, here's the scoop, precisely two months late as I write this: the cult-like sex-and-money org, Access Consciousness, a Whirled favorite since 2007 (and explored last November, with much Cosmic encouragement, by award-winning investigative journalist Craig Malisow of the Houston Press), has actually relocated their global headquarters to my former neck of the woods, Houston, Texas.

Here's the press release, dateline June 17, 2013.
 
If you don't know much about Access and want to get up to speed, follow the link in the first paragraph to Craig Malisow's Houston Press article, and/or explore some of the links to Whirled Access pieces, listed at the end of this post. I've been blogging about these jokers for more than six years.

I sent a note about the Access relocation to a California friend of mine who is, to egregiously understate his feelings, no fan of Access. My friend responded, "Ew. There goes the neighborhood. What's right about this you're not getting?"

The latter comment was a snarky nod to an Access cliche, one of numerous mantras which Accessories are encouraged to repeat endlessly and robotically when confronted with life's little and big problems. Access takes its cliches very seriously. Matter of fact, some of the Access cliches have now become registered copyrights, as indicated on the Access web site. "What's right" etc. does not seem to be copyrighted yet, but give it time.

When you have a situation that is not working well for you, do you define it as difficult or a disaster? What does that do energetically? It solidifies the situation as a problem and perpetuates the wrongness. What if you asked, "How does it get any better than this?^®" Or you could ask, "What else is possible?^®" Or even, "What's right about this that I'm not getting?" When you do something that you define as a mistake, then how long do you judge and punish yourself? Days? Weeks? Years? What if you asked, "What's right about me that I'm not getting?" What if there is truly nothing wrong with you? Questions such as these invite the universe to provide other possibilities, awarenesses, people and events to assist you.

If you don't believe that Access has actually and officially copyrighted some of its cliches, here's this. And this. And of course, Access Consciousness © itself is trademarked. I sense that little by little they are going to try to trademark more words and phrases until they have dibs on the entire English language. At least the stupid parts of it.

Anyway. Certainly from Access' perspective, there are a lot of things "right" about the move to the Bayou City. Most importantly, Texas has no state income tax. Texas, and particularly Houston, also offers a business-friendly environment -- and apart from being an icky sex cult and brain-cell destroyer, Access is, above all else, a business. These are heady times for growing businesses, as Houston has an economy that seems to be recovering more quickly than in other areas of the US, so there will be no dearth of local pockets to pick. And IAH (Bush Intercontinental Airport), is a hub, which is convenient for an organization that is hellbent on spreading its toxic sludge all over the globe. In other words, Houston boasts all of the advantages mentioned in the press release linked to above.

And then there are the other matters mentioned only indirectly -- such as a thriving metaphysical community, which is to say, a relatively dense population of gullibles who can give sunny Cali a run for its money any day. Or as Access founder Gary Douglas -- who first got his inspiration for Access by channeling the late Russian faux-monk Rasputin -- was quoted in that press release, Houston is "...an area with a greater capacity for achievement and openness to new ideas." Uh-huh. Granted, Austin would seem a more logical choice if the McSpirituality GQ (gullibility quotient) were the only consideration, but Houston apparently has enough other perks to make it more attractive than the state capital to Access. Ron and I even wrote about Houston's status as "Spaced City" years ago. Things have not changed much in that regard since that 1998 essay.

There are other factors not mentioned directly but oh-so-coyly hinted at in the press release, such as the fact that Space City also seems to have an unusually large number of gullible socialites and rich philanthropists with more money than sense. Most notably, there is long-time Access fa-silly-tator Curry Glassell, best known for whiningly contesting her rich daddy's will a few years ago -- and losing. She wanted more money from Daddy, but the court said no. She has apparently moved on, and is teaching Access Right Riches For You classes, in which she schools folks on "how to become money."

Apparently both Gary Douglas and his younger cohort Dain Heer are world-class altruists and philanthropists themselves. Or, as the press release puts it, "Dr. Heer and Mr. Douglas are both well-known for their charitable work and pursuit of a variety of entrepreneurial endeavors." Perhaps they want to rub elbows while they're picking pockets.

Moreover, Gary and Curry Glassell have also been involved in some "good causes" together. For instance, there's the Access True Knowledge Foundation, mentioned previously on this blog (and on Craig Malisow's Access article in the Houston Press), "a not-for-profit organisation based in Australia and the United States."

Here is Curry's page.

Here is Gary's page.

Access Schools... what a vision, huh?

Dain Heer is one of the founders too, along with a few other folks.

On the surface it appears that this Foundation hasn't really done much in the five years since it was created...so much for those big promises, eh? But appearances can be deceiving. And in any case, the alliance is the point. Who knows what other joint ventures Curry and Gary (and Dain) have created, and/or are planning? Maybe I'm stretching a bit, but somehow it all seems congruent with what I see as Gary's master plan, which appears to include the bilking of privileged but troubled women (much like his original mentor, Rasputin).

There are also a lot of horsey people in Houston and the surrounding areas, as well as, I surmise, a greater-than-average number of folks who are into various pursuits that sometimes border on the mystical, such as horse whispering and equine-assisted therapy. So Gary and to a lesser extent Dain can pursue that avenue too. Gary's all about the horsies, after all.

And then of course we have Gary's famous business consultancy business, which is a business that teaches businesses how they can become more conscious while they're wringing money from their customers. I'm sure there's a ripe market for that in bidness-friendly Houston, especially in light of the fact that for the past couple of decades, the corporate world has displayed an increasing openness to the insipid junk fabricated by New-Wage opportunists. I lampooned that very matter many years ago in my old book-like product, Cosmic Relief (here is a 2006 Whirled reprint).

I really can't wait to see how Houston warms up to the presence of Access and Gary and Dain. If this fluff piece from FOX-26 News (uploaded to the Tubes on August 14, 2013) is any indication, Access is off to a great start. (Sorry, I couldn't seem to embed the vid, but the link in this paragraph and on the leading graphic should work.) It's interesting that, at least in the video snippet I saw, there was no mention of Access Consciousness. Dain was merely introduced as an author and life coach.

And here's another vid, made by Dain, in which he shows off his new backyard that backs up to Buffalo Bayou in Houston. He and Gary recently bought a $1.6 million dollar home in Houston's lovely Memorial Villages area. I'm sure they'll be very happy. Scamworld can be very profitable for some folks.

I have to wonder if Dain really gave that FOX-26 buffoon a "free session" after the interview. But come to think of it... I really don't want to know.

Be it ever so humble... Rasputin would be so proud.

Update 19 August ~ Craig Malisow weighs in on the Hairballs blog on the Houston Press site. You gotta love the headline. Maybe FOX-26 will get a clue before they decide to feature "Dr. Dain" on any other fluff pieces. I expect we'll be hearing more from Craig on this matter soon... I hope so!

Update 21 August ~ I woke up this morning with Costa Rica on my mind. It was all in the context of thinking that Houston may not be the final destination for the Access visionaries. Could Costa Rica be calling? Long a second home, at least in the business sense, for Access, Gary, and Dain -- and the location of some of the more expensive Access events -- Costa Rica also boasts the spot that Gary says most closely matches the vibe in his "bestselling" novel, The Place, which a one-star reviewer on Amazon describes as...

...Laughable. And it says "#1 best seller" on the front: right! Maybe for 20 minutes on B&N.com after a concerted effort to get his whole Access list to buy from a single site during the same hour. It was expensive and pathetic. Truly a vanity project. An utter waste of my time. 

In September of 2012, Gary uploaded a video previewing El Lugar, a proposed Access paradise he was thinking of buying, not only to host the seven-day Access events but also to be an international hub of conscious sustainability or sustainable consciousness or something like that. Or, as the vid makers put it, "an international destination for those who want to learn bioenergetic land management techniques." I wonder if that has anything to do with Molecular De-manifestation and De-molecular manifestation, as taught in Access.


In the above-linked vid you can watch footage of Gary and Dain prancing around the verdant land on their pricey show horses like evil little princes, surveying their realm-to-be with a few other riders as one of those annoyingly preachy, conspicuously-conscious songs plays in the background. "Welcome to the world!" the female singer croons in her husky voice.

Come to think of it, the singer sounds a lot like the lady -- I forget her name, but I'll provide a link if I can still find it -- who crooned about jellyfish and whatnot on behalf of the epic fail known as Ocean 300. But she's not that lady; she is, instead, one Joy Voeth, singing, in the video below, at what looks like an Access sleepover. Gary slouches in the background, looking a tad uncomfortable whenever Joy rubs his leg or sidles up to him. She clearly wants him to get up and move with her, but he clearly doesn't want to. Maybe he's just tired after all of that Access partying. He does, however, have the strength and presence of mind to make a slight correction at the end of the performance, indicating that the real message should not be "Welcome to the World," but "Welcome to MY World," meaning HIS world, which, he acknowledges, is a "different" place to be.



When thinking of El Lugar, I can't help also thinking of Mocktor Loony Coldwell and his planned paradise in South Carolina, visited earlier in the year on this Whirled. Like GaryDain, Loony is a horsey type too, with big dreams of an equine Eden, except Loony plans for his little piece of heaven on Earth to have its own sovereign government, with plenty of guns on hand. Oh, yeah, and he intends for the property to be a "health resort," perhaps to practice more of that hands-on healing for which he is so infamous.

At any rate, apparently the purchase of the Central American Accessory paradise went through, and at the moment El Lugar is being promoted as, among the other things mentioned above, "a camp for kids where they can get together and explore the wonder and magic of nature…and maybe experience some of the magic that they too can be!"
 
Cue horrified gasp from anyone with a "human" (as opposed to Access-variety humanoid) sensibility. And guess what: you... yes, you!... have an opportunity to donate real money to this very worthwhile fraudject. You are asked to honor the vision by donating a minimum of $20USD, for which you will be rewarded with a copy of The Place. And Gary and Dain hope you will donate. After all, they have an estimated $6,500-a-month mortgage to pay. Costa Rica or not, when it comes to semi-permanent residences, it's Spaced City at present for these two predators partners and their growing cult.
 
More Whirled Access:

• August 2012: Access Consciousness gets a little more MSM lovin' (Musings on, and a link to, Craig Malisow's excellent Houston Press feature article)
• August 2012: Access Consciousness wants kids, and lots of 'em (The beginning of the mainstream media love affair with Access)
• August 2011: ACCESS Consciousness: a cult (or scam) by any other name... (My overview of issues related to Access, kind of the go-to critical piece on Access for a long time)
• May 2011: Calling all trannies! (and Harry Potter fans) (This one has one of my very favorite Photoshop efforts on my entire Whirled. I'm just wild about Harry. Potter, that is.)
• March 2011: What's next? Access death panels? (Musings on Access' amoral world view, and a certain Access facilitator's crass dismissal of her late parents' suffering)
• March 2011: Warning: Accessories on the loose in Houston!
• June 2010: Access asks: Are you humanoid, or merely human?
• June 2010: Mad monk makes eyes at riled Realtor...and the rest, as they say, is hysteria (First time ever told on the Interwebz: The full story of how Gary Douglas became best buds with Rasputin)
• June 2010: Now Heer this: Top ACCESSory woos Oprah! (Sexy miracle man Dain Heer tried -- and failed -- to get the attention of the Big O)
• February 2010: A little motion on the ocean (Access' failed project to magickally remove plastic pollution from a certain part of the ocean)
• October 2009: ACCESS: The incredible lightness of boinking (Another marriage tainted by Access' freewheeling approach to sex)
• May 2008: On a would-be marriage, and a horse's ACCESS (scroll down to "Warning: ACCESSories on the loose")
• June 2007: The excess of ACCESS (Access pandering to the kids' market, and more)
• June 2007: Grabbing a hot piece of ACCESS (My inaugural Access post, introducing Gary, Dain, and Rasputin)

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