Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Another wacky weekend

First of all, Happy Saint Paddy's Day, everyone! Just a few potshots, and then I’ll be off.

Something stinks in here
The subject line of the email message was intriguing: "Clearing the Way to Manifestation with Clear Away Essential Spray."

Well, who couldn’t use help with manifesting, at least once in a while? I thought. I know that the best way to improve one's manifestation skills is to shell out a thousand bucks for a miracle weekend or something, but not everyone can afford that. And so, eager to find out more, I followed the link to a sound clip that told me all about a scientystical new spray from a woman who calls herself Adora Winquist. Isn’t that just the most adorable name? Adora is the creator of Rhiamon Energy Essentials, offering "Synergies for the Greater Good of All." Her best-selling product, she says, is her Clear Away Essential Spray. I suppose she felt a need to jump on the manifestation/LOA bandwagon, and who can blame her?

I urge you to follow the sound link too, and just for the fun of it, count the New-Wage buzzwords as you listen.

There’s no research yet on whether the Clear Away Essential Spray works to clear away the malodorous auras surrounding the Secret promoters and other New-Wage hucksters these days…but judging from all the buzzwords on that sound clip, I’d say probably not.

This just in from Atlantis
Have I got a deal for you! Those of you who have been here a while may remember
a piece I wrote last November on a marvelous device based on Atlantean technology. This device, the Buck Rogers Atlantis Environmental Energy System, was being offered at an incredibly low sale price, as I recall. (I’m in too much of a hurry to actually go back and review what I wrote way back then, so I’ll let you do it.)

Anyway, I just got in an email informing me that this same device is now available for an even lower price: $6,000.00!

Here’s how the Buck Rogers works:

The Buck Rogers Atlantis provides natural resonant health options to the public and public places. These options work by returning different aspects of energy to their own zero point balances, then moves them forward in a steady, active, balanced manner. The energy in your aura, subtle bodies and public place or building where The Buck Rogers Atlantis is placed will begin to work together harmoniously, in many different combinations.

This wondrous contraption gives you the best of all worlds, utilizing "ancient Atlantean and Egyptian technologies, combined with modern space-age discoveries. Sacred geometry, the stabilizing energy of gemstones, metals, natural fibers and Atlantean science combine in the resonant service available for you when using the Buck Rogers Atlantis System."

Here’s what one satisfied Buck Rogers Atlantis owner said:

So here’s the latest:
1. In the last 24 hours since receiving bucky I’ve gotten 3 calls from corporate recruiters looking to have me switch jobs.
2. New York leads continue to appear out of the blue. Probably $200k in new leads and calls. We’ll see how much of that gets closed.
3. Meditation is flying of course. Big heart clearing on Monday. Just watched. Nothing to worry about. It bubbled out and then moved out.
4. Couple of speaking engagements have popped up. Having fun with those. Go bucky!

Who needs The Secret when you have Bucky on your side?

Bucky is now available directly from my favorite New-Wage spam email service. They will use the funds from the sale to further their spiritual work on Earth, which includes interdimensional communication and arbitration; assisting the Earth in warding off comets, astral debris and asteroids; and aiding "the balancing of the Earth on her rotation."

Serious buyers can just send me $6,000.00, and I will see that it gets to the sellers, or, better yet, to my bank account. I will use the funds for monetary energy exchanges in service to the highest good, or at least in service to a debt or two.

Quotable quotes
I must say I’ve really been getting a kick out of a thread on Blair Warren’s Crooked Wisdom blog regarding the historical leaders, teachers, scientists, etc. who supposedly utilized the principles taught in The Secret. Famous dead people as diverse as Einstein, Jesus, Churchill, Plato, Edison, and even Mother Teresa have been kidnapped from the pages of history and are now being held hostage by New-Wage terrorists. And the same misfortune has apparently befallen a few live quantum physicists. I am sure that all are pleading to be released from the New-Wagers’ agendas, but so far their pleas are falling on deaf ears.

One of the most interesting aspects of this famous-dead-folks angle is the Secret promoters’ claim that the big secret – the Law Of Attraction – was known by many influential teachers and leaders and masters for centuries, but was deliberately kept back from the masses. This matter gets discussed on Blair’s thread too. So if you haven’t visited this thread (which provided my inspiration for the crude little collage above), you really ought to do so now.

For your viewing pleasure
And finally, my intensive research has uncovered yet another DVD called The Secret – or, rather, "
Le Secret." Now, this one looks interesting. (No snide remarks about Rhonda and Tilak, y’all. Besides, that great affair is apparently over; you knew it had to happen.)

All right… that’s it for now. Have a wonderful Saint Patrick's day, and if you get pinched for not wearing green, I hope you really enjoy it!


Labels: , , ,

6 Comments:

Blogger .?. nil2enla ?.? said...

you are sanfoora! hahaha

Saturday, March 17, 2007 6:51:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Wow, I don't even know what that means. But if it's a compliment, thanks, .?.nil2enla?.?!! :-)

On the other hand, if it's yet another insult to my blueness (I'm still a little touchy about that), I'll have you know that blue people have contributed quite a lot to world history.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by!

Saturday, March 17, 2007 7:04:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

I think the blue-ness is cute, but have a natural affinity to pink! :-)

Saturday, March 17, 2007 7:40:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

RevRon said:
"I think the blue-ness is cute, but have a natural affinity to pink! :-)"

I know, Ron, but it's not THAT kind of blog. :-)

Saturday, March 17, 2007 7:52:00 PM  
Anonymous freedumb2000 said...

haha great collage ;)
MLM new age markeking all they way! maybe you should consider switching sides and utilize your undoubtly large blog traffic (read customer base) and sell your own vision of betternment and complete enlightment. I'm sure you have the right backgroud of buzz words right now to be highly successful.
I'll think wealthy thoughts for you!

Sunday, March 18, 2007 7:03:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you, FD2000, for the comments *and* the wealthy thoughts. I definitely have the right buzzword credentials, but I think at this point if I "switched sides" and shared my secrets to enlightenment with the world, I'd have to write under a pseudonym. But it's a thought!

Sunday, March 18, 2007 10:39:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home