Let us prey

Thought I saw an eagle
but it might have been a vulture,
I never could decide.
~ Leonard Cohen, Story of Isaac

"Story of Isaac" has always been one of my favorite Leonard Cohen songs.* It was, of course, inspired by the Biblical tale of Abraham, who apparently hallucinated that G-d had commanded him to kill his kid, and was on the verge of doing so when the Lord said, "Never mind!" Of course if this incident had taken place today instead of in Biblical times, it would have been a local news story for a moment or two. Abe would have probably been locked up for a while, and Isaac, for better or worse, would most likely have been placed in a series of foster homes. And the world would have had one less puzzling Bible story, and one less lovely LC song. As it is, the story of Abraham and Isaac, like many Biblical tales, has been a subject of controversy for centuries.

Now, don't worry, Dear Ones; I'm not going all Bible on you or anything. I'll leave that to the true Bible experts in the blogosphere, such as Saint David of Victoria, who has likened his own suffering at the hands of his detractors to that of martyred saints in earlier times. These days, besides being a Law Of Attraction expert, star of The Secret, Biblical scholar and frequent though unwilling participant in Australia's Federal Court system, Saint David is a spirit-filled, faith walking Christian.

You've probably already guessed that this post isn't really about Abraham and Isaac. It's also not the first and won't be the last time I've co-opted a Cohen quotation to suit my purpose. Like many good quotations, this one works even better when taken out of context, and for me it works quite well indeed as an expression of the ambiguities of the New-Wage/selfish-help world.

I've snarked a lot about David Schirmer here because he's an easy target and I am a lazy blogger – more so these past few months than usual, due to having had so many other things to deal with. (I sincerely apologize to anyone whom I've bored with this stuff.) As you have no doubt guessed, most of what I've heard and read about Schirmer has been negative. Yet I've never hesitated to publish comments from the few people who have stepped up to defend him – or, more rarely, to attack me for snarking about him.

In the eyes of most people I've heard from on my blog, Schirmer is definitely more in the "vulture" category. But one or two people seem determined to put him up there with the eagles. He does have a few stalwart defenders, among them Aussie actor and sci-fi series producer Adrian Sherlock,** who apparently attended a Schirmer workshop, thought he got his money's worth, and really can't see what all of the fuss is about. In a recent comment to my January 30, 2008 post, "Journey To Fantasyland," he wrote:

It's important to remember that any human being who attempts to rise to a level of success above that of simply being an employee of someone else's company is going to face a long, complex and at times difficult life journey. How many people never make a mistake in their career or get fined for some infraction, etc? When the pursuit is so much bigger, the potholes will be bigger too. But the case you cite doesn't make the man a con artist or a bad person...

...If someone invested some money in the Stock Exchange and lost it, then they need to try again. Persistence and learning from mistakes is all part of the process of success.

If the people on ACA [the Aussie tabloid show, A Current Affair] are to be believed, then anyone who loses money should be able to get their stock broker on TV and say "This guy recommended I buy these stocks! I want my money back! He's a crook! Jail him!" What rubbish! The stock market's not a sure thing. You want the big returns, you take the bigger risks. They had a choice. But if that makes DS a monster, well, why only six people out of thousands of people? Why no complaints from the rest?

I'm being totally straight with you. I have not got any vested interest in the guy, I've met him once only. But he did me a good turn and I enjoyed his seminar. It was not over-priced, he was very frank and candid about things which had gone wrong in his life, everyone there seemed happy.

Con man? Proof required, innocent until proven guilty. And The Secret? One of the most encouraging things ever made, it's helped a huge amount of people. Fantasy land? Not at all. Without imagination, your house would be a pile of bricks. Someone needed to imagine your house and draw it first.

If you follow this link and scroll down a bit, you will see my reply to Adrian. I concluded it by telling Adrian that I will take him at face value when he says he has no vested interest in Schirmer's enterprises. However, I added, he does seem to have an emotional stake in the matter; something is compelling him to continue to defend Schirmer. I wrote, "Either you sincerely believe he's a stand-up guy, or you just aren't looking at all of the evidence."

Is Schirmer an eagle or a vulture? He seems to be doing everything he can to paint himself as the former, mostly by ignoring or glossing over any unsavory accusations. He's also still trying to ride on the coattails of those who are more well-known than he. Although Bob Proctor recently dissociated himself from Schirmer, Schirmer continues to feature Bob's wisdom prominently in his Succeed Magazine enterprise, and apparently in some of his email campaigns as well. I am sure he's within his rights to do that, as long as he doesn't actually try to make people think he's collaborating with Bob on anything any more. And I'm sure Bob isn't griping about all the free publicity either. But still...

Schirmer's right-hand man, Warren Henningsen,*** is exploiting the Proctor association in his own way as well. At least he's bragging about being pals with one of Proctor's assistants. Warren is perhaps best known in some circles for bravely protecting his boss last year when Schirmer hid in the men's room to avoid those vultures from A Current Affair.

On a recent blog post associated with his Powerful Intentions site, Henningsen wrote about how, after watching The Secret DVD back in November of 2006, he found Bob Proctor's email address and sent him an email. Lo and behold, not long after that he heard from a guy named Mark Low, who said he worked in Proctor's Toronto office:

[Mark] spent about forty minutes on the phone to me, letting me know that Bob had read my email and asked him to get in touch with me. I was beside myself!! I recognized this call as the first step toward my certainty that I would be working with the teachers of The Secret. Now, like me you are probably thinking that Bob, a man who has over one hundred and fifty different sources of income, and any number of businesses and conferences and speaking engagements to run and oversee, must receive a vast number of emails each day, how shocked was I to think that he had read my email and asked his “right arm” to contact me!!! Tell me this secret stuff doesn’t work!!!

True to his word Mark stayed in touch and we communicated by both emails and phone calls regularly, which continues to this day.

Wow...who says miracles don't happen? (I wonder how long Mark is going to stay in Bob's employ if he keeps hanging with DS's Mini-Me.)

More recently, Schirmer has really been playing up his association with Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale. Joe contributed an article to the April/May issue of Succeed Magazine, and then was featured in a cover story/interview for the following issue. When someone recently commented on Joe's blog about this association, Joe denied even knowing Schirmer or knowing that Schirmer had anything to do with Succeed Magazine until "after all was said and done." Uh-huh.

Undaunted, Schirmer bragged on his blog last week that he'd recently had another chat with Joe, this time a long and friendly one, which Schirmer is now promoting as a teleseminar.

It is clear that Schirmer is still getting all of the mileage he can out of having been in The Secret, as well as his association with his "co-teachers" in the world's most famous New-Wage infomercial. Meanwhile, there seems to be a lot going on in the background, and a number of things that have not yet been publicized. I'll be glad to share details as I learn them, and, yes, I'll do it whether they point to "eagledom" or "vulturedom" for Schirmer.

The David Schirmer saga, of course, is just one of hundreds of similar stories. In a broader sense, it is immensely difficult to judge whether the selfish help/New Wage is largely malignant or mostly benign. While I applaud the efforts of people such as Steve Salerno (thank goodness he has decided to continue SHAMblog), as well as anti-self-help-fraud activist John Curtis, and, of course, Rick Ross, I suspect that the truth lies somewhere squarely in between.

Few people from either side of the argument are willing to concede to that, however, because, gosh, it's just so boring.

Though I definitely err on the side of snarkiness on this blog, I have always stopped well short of declaring that the New Wage is either evil or dangerous. Unlike most of the defenders of the faith, however, I don't hold to the idea that critics are all pathetic, cynical, small-minded, fearful and deeply unhappy sorts. Maybe some are, but then again, I've seen loads of pretty pathetic stuff on the pro-New-Wage forums too.

And fairly frequently I hear from people who have experienced the darker side of the movement.

For example, I recently received a private email from a person who wanted to know if I could offer any information on another New-Wage guru I'd snarked about a few times. This person said that the guru had abandoned a child from a previous marriage, and now no one seems to know where the child is. My correspondent told me that the former spouse of the guru had been killed recently in an accident, and the dead ex-spouse's parents (friends of the writer) were desperate to know the whereabouts of their only grandchild. I put my correspondent in contact with someone who might have information or at least insight.

Of course I don't know the entire story. It could be that the guru and ex-spouse had an agreement about child custody and that it wasn't really a case of abandonment. However, given the apparent flakiness of this individual, I'm leaning on the side of believing my correspondent's spin on the matter. So many of these folks have left a ton of wreckage behind on their quest for the perfect New-Wage shtick.

Some apologists for New-Wage gurus have suggested I'm being too judgmental; after all, we all make mistakes and all that. Sure we do. I've made plenty. But I'm not going around making a fortune giving advice about how people should live their lives either. Even so, I'd still be willing to cut some of the gurus more slack if they didn't attempt to selectively exploit their private lives for their own gain. So many of them cherry-pick events from their lives in order to cast themselves in a heroic light, prompting their followers to ooh and ah over how candid they are. There's just one problem with this: the facts they leave out invariably tell much more about their character than the facts they choose to share. And I have personal knowledge of some of these folks' stories, so this isn't just hypothetical.

"Collateral damage" done to the families and loved ones of New-Wage gurus is one issue. The damage that can be done to followers and their families is another. There's no doubt that some people completely lose their heads when they get involved with a guru or group. Consider this recent comment on one of my posts about ACCESS Energy Transformation:

...my sister in law is doing some crazy things for this ACCESS group.She was left widowed with her two gorgeous little children, last July when my brother passed away within 6 months of being diagnosed with a brain tumour. She then got involved in ACCESS. The long and the short is that an american access 'chick' has moved into their home with them and my sister in law is having a sexual relationship with her!! we are so shocked and so worried for her kids and the confusion all this ACCESS rubbish is causing in their lives... she has already flown to Mission Beach leaving her kids with her mum in school holidays(!?) for another "course", came back declaring she is going to move to [Queensland] to live to help with the ACCESS school and become a teacher there!...We have suspicions this ACCESS woman that has moved in is probably some sort of converter or keeper...

The more I hear and read about ACCESS, the more patently absurd – and yet the scarier – it gets. I have to say that it mostly weighs in on the side of absurd, though. If you truly want to be left scratching your head and saying, "WTF?" , take a look at some of the videos of ACCESS presentations. You can find quite a few of them on a site called Potency Productions, which has nothing to do with male performance enhancement...well, on second thought, maybe it does. Anyway, I challenge you to try to make sense of, say, "Choice and the supermind" by Dr. Dain Heer, a chiropractor turned ACCESS leader. Or this one: "Facilitating through beingness." Almost puts me in mind of the last two paragraphs of a November 2006 post of mine, in which I lampooned another cult-like org called Avatar. It truly seems that the purpose of ACCESS is to render language utterly meaningless, and thought completely irrelevant. In return for losing the gift of meaningful conversation and your capacity for thinking, you get to have unlimited sex with anyone who who suits your fancy, as long as you don't try to actually enter into a "relationship" with them (horrors). At least I think that's how it goes.

So... is ACCESS helpful or harmful? Are the ACCESSories, particularly Dain Heer and ACCESS founder Gary Douglas (who reportedly "received" ACCESS from a disembodied being who in turn got it from the late Russian unholy man Grigori Rasputin), eagles or vultures?

That depends, I suppose, upon whether you're asking (1) the woman who is giddy with her newfound "knowledge" and infatuated with her ACCESSory lover, or (2) that woman's family.

It could certainly be argued that the whole "eagles or vultures" question is mostly a matter of individual perception. When it comes to self-help gurus, one person's eagle may be another's vulture, and vice-versa. Some may vacillate between perceiving any given guru as one or the other. And competent adults should have the right to choose who or what to follow without interference from what some refer to as the self-help police or the spiritual cops.

But I think we'd all do well to remember that despite the noble attributes often assigned to eagles (as opposed to the general disdain in which vultures are held), both are fierce predators and blatant opportunists – eagles no less so than vultures. An eagle will snatch a cute little puppy right out of your backyard if it gets half a chance. Moreover, like most other flying birds, even the most gloriously lovely, awe-inspiring eagle is not above taking a big messy poop in midair. So as you're driving down the road to enlightenment, watch out. You never know what might hit your windshield.

*although I prefer the version by Suzanne Vega, on the Tower Of Song tribute album, to the Cohen original
** Update, 2010: Not long after this post was written, Adrian apparently saw the light and ceased defending David Schirmer.
*** Update, 2010: Warren Henningsen has long since left Schirmer's employ and is now doing his own motivational thing.

The righteous shall inherit the LOA

Appearances are not reality, but they often can be a convincing alternative to it. You can control appearances most of the time, but facts are what they are. When the facts are too sharp, you can craft a cheerful version of the situation and cover the facts the way that you can cover a battered old four-slice toaster with a knitted cozy featuring images of kittens.
~American novelist Dean Koontz
from The Good Guy (2007)

The above quotation appears in the context of Dean Koontz's description of a psychopathic killer who always tries to put a positive spin on every situation, even when things aren't going so well for him. But it's also a perfect description of the way many New-Wage gurus ply their trade, don't you think? That's why this particular quotation stuck out for me when reading Koontz's novel (which I highly recommend, if you're a fan of suspense/thrillers). For some reason the kitten imagery really grabbed me too, maybe because I'm such a cat lover, as I'm sure many of you are. I didn't have time to hunt for a picture of a knitted toaster cozy with kittens on it, but fortunately I already had some kitty pics; they will just have to do. (Some of you, I think, will get the true significance of these pictures.)

But this post isn't about cute kittens. It is about another development in the career of David Schirmer, Aussie star of The Secret. An alert reader sent me a link to Schirmer's updated profile page on Marcy From Maui's Powerful Intentions web site. After going on about what a successful millionaire he is due to applying the Law Of Attraction, Schirmer adds:

I am a Christian and part of my goal is to help other Christians understand that God desires them to have abundance and prosperity in all areas of their life; and that sickness, lack and poverty are sin (falling short of the mark). God's promises are abundances and that "All things are possible for those who believe." Contrary to some of teachings linked to The Secret I do not believe all roads lead to eternal life with God - otherwise the Bible and God is a lie. So my other goal is to help people know the truth about Jesus, God and salvation.

Regarding the first part of this statement, Schirmer is really not much different from the many advocates of "prosperity Christianity," such as Joel Osteen, the pastor of Houston's Lakewood mega-church. Nor is Schirmer all that different, in some respects, from New-Wage gurus who try to convince their followers that Buddha (for example) taught that desire is a virtue and that driving fancy cars and living in mansions is your divine right.

What really struck me, though, was the second part of this blurb, which seems to be a thinly veiled declaration that anyone who doesn't embrace Christianity lock, stock, and barrel is doomed to eternal damnation. This means that anyone who doesn't accept Jesus H. Christ as his or her personal savior will spend eternity in torment, presumably without BMWs, big houses, quarter-million-dollar dining room tables or any of the other good things that the Lord grants to the righteous.

This would mean that in reality, David Schirmer believes that most of his fellow Secret "teachers," and most of the New-Wage gurus he promotes in his magazine, Succeed, are going to burn in hell unless they decide to give their lives over to Jesus. Included on Schirmer's list of the damned would be Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale, who is featured on the cover of the latest issue of Succeed, and who seems to be more enamored of Eastern philosophies, and some of those heathen indigenous teachings such as Ho'oponopono, than of Christianity. (He also, as you may recall, denies knowing Schirmer or having known anything about Schirmer's association with Succeed when he agreed to be interviewed for the magazine.)

So I guess if you can't join 'em, damn 'em, huh, David? I suppose you can't blame a guy for trying to establish a brand for himself. After all, the more famous Secret stars are dissociating themselves from Schirmer, and he hasn't been too successful so far at breaking into the US New-Wage market. So maybe he reckons that if he re-brands himself as some sort of an LOA (Law Of Attraction) Christian evangelist he will finally find acceptance on these shores.

Of course if he's not careful he could still end up in a bit of legal trouble, as has happened with quite a few of our famous evangelists. As Jimmy Swaggart learned, for example, sometimes the Lord can't keep a good man out of the arms of wicked women, and as Jim Bakker learned, sometimes even Jesus can't keep a guy out of jail. (If you follow the link to the Wiki article on Bakker, scroll down to the section labeled, "Philosophy," and see what Bakker has to say about "prosperity theology.")

Amazingly, some folks have apparently bought Schirmer's Christian shtick, leading me to believe that the most abundant resource in the universe, for New-Wage hucksters anyway, is the gullibility of Powerful Intentions community members. Indeed, the army of the deluded seems to be growing, as evidenced by some people's comments on Schirmer's Powerful Intentions page (apparently in response to his invitation to be their "friend"). For example, there's this one:

Dawn Nocera said…
David!
Thanks for connecting! I love your magazine! Megan from Australia introduced it to me! Love those Aussie's! I also wanted to say thank you for letting the world know you are a CHRISTIAN! You are a light for me to follow. Thank you again!
Dawn

Dawn, Dawn, step away from that light!

By the way, anti-self-help-fraud activist John Curtis, who is on sort of a mission himself, sent a link to a good article on self-help from a Christian perspective. You might want to read this one, David...

Fame is a yobbo
I just had to use that word again; I learned it recently from one of my commenters. "Yobbo," for the benefit of those who don't know, is a Brit/Aussie slang word referring to a lout, a hooligan, a totally uncouth guy...well, you get the drift.

I thought of that word when I read a passage from another book I recently completed, the late Evan Hunter's 1974 novel, Streets of Gold. Hunter was a prolific author and screenwriter who also penned works under numerous other pseudonyms, of which the most widely known was Ed McBain. Streets of Gold is the story of Dwight Jamison, a blind jazz pianist born of Italian immigrants. Dwight was, for a spell, an American success story, rising to the giddy heights of a fame that was transitory, as fame often is. Fame, and the pursuit of fame, did some things to him that he really didn't like. Here's his take on success, American style:

Success is difficult to resist; it is exceedingly difficult to resist. It has been personified as female, the Bitch Goddess, but I firmly believe it is male in gender and exclusively American in origin. I have seen this hairy male beast...attack and devour the strongest men and women. He stinks of booze and fornication, his breath can knock you senseless for a week. He belches and farts in public, he uses obscene language, he is a braggart and a dullard, and he has but a single ear. Yet when he clutches you in his powerful arms and plants upon your lips a kiss that surely reeks of all things vile (it is the kiss of death, make no mistake), there is nothing to do but succumb. The Beast is too strong, he can break you in two, he can scatter your limbs to the four winds after he has picked them clean of flesh (he will do that, anyway), and it is better to suffer his crushing embrace (it's what you wanted all along, isn't it?) and let him take you where he will.

But I bet you won't find that quotation in the pages of Succeed Magazine.

PS ~ I'm still working on a post about something I think is really important: the sad news of the end of Steve Salerno's SHAMblog. I hope to have that post up in the next couple of days. (But I'm not-so-secretly hoping that Steve changes his mind.)

Something to sip on while you're waiting for a real post from me

Just a couple of random thoughts for a hot afternoon...


Don't drink the Kool-Aid...or the lemonade
In another apparent case of the "monkey see, monkey do" syndrome, embattled Aussie Secret star David Schirmer (who recently discovered FaceBook as a marketing tool), is now singing the praises of mastermind groups.

Thousands of folks are into mastermind groups – everyone from New-Wage hustledorks to garden-variety success geeks to people who just want to get together with like-minded folks in order to effect some improvement in their lives, or an illusion thereof. Supposedly the idea originally came from Napoleon Hill, author of the 1937 classic Think and Grow Rich. Hill, who apparently was inspired by the example of Andrew Carnegie, defined the mastermind as a “coordination of knowledge and effort, in a spirit of harmony, between two or more people, for the attainment of a definite purpose.”

Having never participated in a mastermind group myself, I have no opinion of them one way or the other. I have, however, served on committees, and even though it might be argued that they could qualify as mastermind groups under Hill's definition, I tend to agree more with my own dear Rev Ron's take on the true nature of your typical committee: "A bunch of monkeys trying to f--k a football."

And I have to admit that on occasion, the boasting of some folks regarding their own mastermind activities reminds me of that scene in the 1997 film Titanic where Kate Winslet's character Rose is talking to Leonardo DiCaprio's character Jack at the fancy dinner on the ship. As Rose's snooty rich fiancé Cal and his friends excuse themselves from dinner, Rose leans over and whispers to Jack, "Now they retreat into a cloud of smoke and congratulate each other on being masters of the universe." Indeed, there does seem to be a bit of self-congratulatory activity in certain hustledork circles.

This doesn't mean mastermind groups have no value, of course. I'm just saying...

According to an article on "The Feel-Good Girl" Stephanie Brail's blog:

There are two basic types of mastermind groups: One which is focused on the success and vision of one individual, and one that is focused on helping everyone in the group.

Somehow I have the feeling that the mastermind group that David Schirmer is trying to get together will be an example of the former. After going on for a while about what a mastermind group is and how inspiring such a group can be, Schirmer's email offers a few tips on how to form one of your own. Included is this bit of wisdom:

Note: The people in your mastermind group may or may not even know they are part of it. They may or may not stand to get something out of it. As long as they are being treated fairly and with repect [sic] and you are bringing something of value to the table then it should be a win win for all involved.

Uh-huh.

Soon we get to the meat of the matter (or should it be the meet of the matter): an invitation for recipients of the email to join the exclusive new mastermind group that David Schirmer is now forming. And here it seems that once again Schirmer, or the minion who wrote the email, has drawn inspiration from your own Cosmic Connie. When talking about "the three types of business owners," Schirmer or the minion writes of type 3, which he defines as:

Type 3: Those who have learned exactly what works and can make a profit in their business regardless of economic circumstances.

These people have spent many thousands*** on their education and that has paid off big-time with the skills of being able to turn a lemon of a business into lemonade.

David Schirmer is one such businessman. Over the years he has learned how to turn any lemon into a lemonade manufacturing multinational.

Hmmm...that seems to be a poor choice of metaphors, considering that David wasn't so successful when he was literally involved in manufacturing...oh, but I digress. Someone at the Schirmer offices must have been inspired by my "lemonade stand" post from last December. But I wonder if they'll use the graphic I created for that post, the way they used the one from my "Fantasyland" post. Currently that pic graces Schirmer's promo page for his "My Abundant Life" seminar. I have to tell you, Dear Ones, that it thrills me to be such a source of inspiration.

Schirmer's exclusive invite continues with this:

If your business could do with a shot in the arm, then you must investigate this once in a lifetime opportunity to sit in a highly exclusive inner circle "roundtable" with David Schirmer and 17 other participants.

Yes you heard right there are just 18 places for this closed circle mastermind where you and the other participants will be afforded the opportunity to create ideas for your own businesses and perhaps create other business ideas and opportunity (sic) that could make you millions.

If you are ready in yourself to enter into the exclusive world of this powerful Mastermind Partnership for the express purpose of making millions of dollars fast make contact with The David Schirmer Group of Companies A.S.A.P. to reserve your limited place...

I'm sure that folks from all over Australia and the U.S. will be lining up to join! Step right this way, folks, for some of that famous Schirmer Kool-Aid...er...lemonade.

Shame on the Moon
I don't normally dabble in politics on this blog, but as the next US presidential election heats up, the blogosphere is inevitably heating up too (well, more than usual), and I'm kinda feeling the vibes here on my Whirled. On some blogs, political matters and New-Wage topics intersect, as is the case with a certain enraged blogger of my acquaintance who never misses a chance to tie Hillary or Obama or any other Democrat (or liberal, or feminist) to some nefarious New-Wage cult or conspiracy.

In all fairness, of course, there are other bloggers and pundits who don't hesitate to tie all Republicans and conservatives to some nefarious religious-right cult or conspiracy.

Well, along comes a former president to confuse the issue... sort of. This probably isn't news to some of y'all, but I thought it noteworthy anyway. Seems Dubya's daddy has a long-time association with everyone's favorite megalomaniacal theocrat from Korea, the Reverend Sun Myung Moon. While nominally "Christian," Moon's Unification Church is something that probably would have given Jesus H. Christ the willies. It's more New-Wagey than it is fundie religious right for sure.

Rick Casey, one of my favorite columnists at the Houston Chronicle, had a piece the other day about the Bush-Moon connection. Casey writes:

In recent years the fabulously wealthy Moon has not been playing up his Unification Church with its mass weddings as he did in earlier years, or his role as the Messiah.

Lately he's been presenting himself as a world peacemaker, staging conferences and "summits" around the globe under the auspices of a group called Universal Peace Federation.

The group held a "summit" in Washington April 28 to May 2, featuring a number of former high government officials from Latin America and Spain, as well as a representative from the U.S. State Department.

The event also included a "field trip" in which conference participants loaded onto a chartered jumbo jet for a session at the Bush Library featuring both Bush and Moon.

Although a few blogs picked up the story, no newspaper or television station this side of Paraguay did.

And fortunately, Rick Casey is on the story now too. He continues:

This isn't the first time Bush has appeared with Moon. He gave a series of speeches in Japan in 1995 at Moon's behest and appeared with him in 1996 in Argentina and later in Paraguay. Last year he spoke at a Moon event in Washington.

And as reported here two years ago, the Washington Times Foundation (Moon is founder and owner of the Times) covertly donated at least $1 million to the Bush Library.

According to Bush spokesman James McGrath, "the draw" for Bush to join Moon was both the former Latin American leaders who would be in attendance and the support by the Washington Times Foundation of the library.

"The Times has been doing the Lord's work for the last 25 years offering a counterbalance to the liberal Washington Post," said McGrath.

But John Gorenfeld, author of the recent book about the reverend, Bad Moon Rising, sees an unsavory if unintended side to Bush's association with Moon.

"I think it's just the money," Gorenfeld said regarding Bush's motivation.

But he said Moon and his vast organization use Bush in Asia and Latin America to lend credibility to their activities.

That's not a happy thought, but at least it seems the ex-president hasn't drunk the Kool-Aid.

It appears, however, that he has drunk the Holy Wine. But that rather comical story must wait for another day.

Why wait for another day? Here's a YouTube video to watch now.

Now go pour yourself a cold drink, and I'll see you next time.

*** In this case, many thousands of other people's dollars.

On a would-be marriage, and a horse's ACCESS

Just a couple of updates before I return to my "day job"...


"What did the president know, and when did he know it?"
Boy, do I have egg on my face. I've been writing about what I perceived as the alliance between Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale and David "Succeed Magazine" Schirmer. Well, it turns out that, according to Joe, there is no such alliance after all. On Joe's blog today I saw this comment, sent in response to Joe's post about making the cover of Succeed:

1. Joe Kersey says

   Congratulations, Joe! I expect we’ll be hearing a lot more out of your collaboration with David Schirmer. It’s obvious from his blog that he’s excited about it. The two of you should make a really powerful team!

   May 21st, 2008 | #

2. Joe Vitale says

   Hi Joe. I don’t know David and am not collaborating on anything with him, so not sure what you know that I don’t. Succeed magazine simply did a feature on me, which I’m grateful for. I didn’t even know he was associated with the magazine till after it was all said and done. Anyway, I apprecaite [sic] your words of congratulations. Succeed is a great and inspiring magazine. Richard Branson was on the last cover, so my being on the next one is beyond flattering. Now I want to receive as much wealth as Branson - or more.
   Blessings,
   joe

Oh, dear. So I guess there never really was a marriage in the first place. And I guess we are also to assume that Joe didn't know David Schirmer himself was listening in on the conversation when the editor of Succeed Magazine did the interview. Schirmer recently wrote on his own blog:

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

Opps!! [sic] I'd better write another blog.

Time flies so fast when you're having fun! I can hardly believe it is so long since I wrote my last blog. A friend on msn suggested today that I should post again ... so here I am.

There is much too much to write about to bring you up to date, so I'll share with you just a little of my day today.

At 7:30am the editor of our Succeed Magazine phoned Texas, USA. It was a special call to an amazing man, friend and co-presenter on The Secret, Dr Joe Vitale. I enjoyed immensely sitting in and listening to Joe's story.

Shame on Schirmer for eavesdropping without informing Joe he was doing so. And shame on him for claiming that Joe is a friend of his when Joe says he doesn't even know David.

I guess we can also assume that someone besides David Schirmer contacted Joe about being in/on Succeed Magazine in the first place – and being in/on it not once, but twice (an article of Joe's also appeared in the April-May issue). So maybe Succeed was being a little less than honest for not disclosing to Joe that David Schirmer was the publisher. But heck, it's "a great and inspiring magazine," according to Joe, so I guess a little duplicity is okay.

If we are to take Joe literally, Succeed merely featured him and that was that; no further affiliation. I imagine this means that if you click on the specific "Mr. Fire" link to subscribe to Succeed – the link that Joe helpfully published on his blog – Mr. Fire will not receive a percentage or anything like that.

So now you know. Just thought I'd pass the information along, in the interests of being fair and balanced here.

By the way, Succeed magazine also recently featured a profile of David Schirmer's ex joint-venture partner, noted quantum physics expert and "Law Of Attraction guru" Bob Proctor. So even though he can't market Proctor's stuff any more, by court order, Schirmer apparently can still exploit Proctor's name to sell his magazine.

Warning: ACCESSories on the loose
As if Australia didn't have enough on its mind, what with David Schirmer still running around loose, there is also this creepy cultish thing called ACCESS Energy Transformation, which seems more determined than ever to dig its claws in Down Under. I wrote about ACCESS here last year, and then did a follow-up post a few days later.

ACCESS, according to a tale that seems to be strangely absent from the current official ACCESS sites (but can be found here and here), was founded in the early 1990s. It all started when a "being of light" (or, alternatively, "beings of light") called Novian used the late Russian faux-monk/Whirled-class charlatan Grigori Rasputin to channel an "energy transformation technique" to a Santa Barbara, California realtor named Gary Douglas. Gary decided to call the technique ACCESS, and it now has followers all over the world. But he seems to be concentrating on the US, Australia, and New Zealand. And what's really scary, in my view, is that Gary and gang want to ACCESSorize the younger generation with their ACCESS kids' camps.

Yesterday I heard from an anonymous commenter responding to my second ACCESS blog post. This person was concerned about the fact that Gary and the ACCESS teachings seem to encourage their followers to have sex with anyone they want to, even if they're married. That's not the first time I've heard this, and if it is true, it doesn't seem that ACCESS would be the best organization to be running a kids' camp. I'm just saying...

My correspondent also provided a link to an ABC MediaWatch page detailing a segment last year on Australia's Channel 7, featuring Gary Douglas himself. "Dr." Douglas appeared on a segment of Channel 7's The Morning Show as a "behavioural expert" sharing his views about kids with autism and ADD. The folks on the program later ended up apologizing (or apologising, for you Aussies and Brits) on the air for featuring this loony-tunes "doctor." Here's the link.

As the Media Watch writer noted, "Dr." Douglas doesn't restrict his "energy transformation" techniques to humans; he also works with horses. He even put together a TV pilot, Conscious Horse, Conscious Rider, about his remarkable equine communication skills.

Conscious Horse Conscious Rider is a remarkable TV Pilot, starring horse medium Gary Douglas, and created at the request of horses everywhere.

So not only is Gary Douglas a doctor who's an expert on kids with autism and ADD; he's also a horse's... a horse whisperer. And the horses themselves requested that he make his TV show. Take that, all you neigh-sayers!

It's a mad, mad Whirled, and I'd love to stay and chat, Dear Ones... but I gotta get back to work for a while. And then I think I'm going to go out and talk to the horses. I'll let you know what they have to say.

PS ~ It's not that I think there is no validity to "horse whispering." I do. People such as Monty Roberts and Pat and Linda Parelli have achieved remarkable results with horses, and I am endlessly fascinated with their work. But they utilize knowledge about equine behavior and body language, not telepathy or the voices in their heads or whatever it is that Gary Douglas claims to use.

Sunday, snarky Sunday

The new issue of Succeed Magazine, a glossy publication for fans of The Secret and the Law Of Attraction, has just been released, and Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale is the subject of this issue's cover story. In his blog post announcing the new issue, Joe writes:

The story was the most revealing one ever written on me. The interview felt like therapy, as I talked about my childhood, my past struggles, and my turnaround to success — much of it never shared ever before in public.

I thought Mr. Fire had pretty much shared everything about his past by now, but I guess the Succeed interview inspired him to invent some new stuff share previously unshared secrets about himself. Well, I'm sure that's good for the sale of a few issues, unless the publisher of Succeed, embattled Aussie Secret star David Schirmer, decides to provide a free link to the piece the way he did for his previous Joe Vitale article.

Anyway, I think one good interview deserves another. I am thinking that Mr. Fire should turn the tables and interview David Schirmer! Since Joe deals in miracles and magic, it's possible that Schirmer might be miraculously moved to reveal some things he's never shared ever before in public about himself (but that numerous others have attempted to).

Perhaps Mr. Fire, being an expert in hypnotic marketing and writing and so forth, could hypnotize Schirmer into telling us who really invented that hay baling machine that Schirmer and his brother Ian claimed was their brainchild. The Schirmer brothers' business ultimately failed, and if I am reading David Schirmer's account correctly, as he told it for Keith Leon's new book, the failure was supposedly due to greed, presumably other people's. Maybe Mr. Fire could get Schirmer to spill the beans on another possible reason that the business went belly-up.

Then maybe he could ask Schirmer if he ever paid back all that money he allegedly owes his investors, and that he promised on TV to pay back by Christmas of 2007. As a bonus question, perhaps he could ask him why noted quantum physics expert Bob Proctor, who also happens to be a friend of Joe's, decided he didn't want anything to do with Schirmer any more.

I am sure there are many more questions that a lot of folks, at least in Australia, would like to see truthfully answered by Schirmer. But my guess is that Mr. Fire wouldn't ask those questions of Schirmer, because, well, why focus on the negative? There's no money in that. Besides, the past is past! We all make mistakes! And even if that bad stuff is true, it all happened in Australia, which isn't anywhere near America, where the big money is. Best thing to do is just gloss over it and head on to the next big joint venture.

Anyway, I'm at the point where I think it might take more than hypnosis to make Schirmer come clean. And I think that more than a few Aussies would agree with me.

Of course, David Schirmer isn't the only one involved in The Secret franchise who has a shaky relationship with the truth. Other "stars" of that DVD have been known to be less than forthcoming about certain aspects of their own lives. And Secret creator and producer Rhonda Byrne herself seems to have had a bit of trouble getting her story straight about the origins and creation of the world's most successful New-Wage infomercial. Here's the current version of the "official" story of the birth of The Secret (from the official web site):

Towards the end of 2004, and following a string of traumatic events in her personal and professional life, Rhonda Byrne discovered a great secret - the secret laws and principles of the universe. Rhonda's daughter had given her a copy of The Science of Getting Rich, a book written in 1910 by Wallace D. Wattles. Of that moment, Rhonda says, "Something inside of me had me turn the pages one by one, and I can still remember my tears hitting the pages as I was reading it. It gave me a glimpse of The Secret and it was like a flame inside of my heart."

What followed was a two-month odyssey of research and investigation as Rhonda traced The Secret back through thousands of years, incorporating almost every religion and field of human endeavour throughout history.

Almost immediately her life was transformed, as she began to put into practice all she had learned. And in that moment her greatest wish, and new life mission, was to share this knowledge with the world.

With a successful background in international television production, Rhonda was perfectly placed to make that dream come true. She vowed to make a movie, to carry joy to every corner of the Earth, to share this knowledge with billions. And so the great journey that was The Secret began.

From the outset, conventional filmmaking procedures involving endless meetings, tight schedules, strict budgets, deadlines and revisions were dispensed with in favour of powerful Secret processes such as intention, visualization, appreciation, gratitude and faith. Or more simply, the team would Ask, Believe, and Receive.

As a result, right when the company was ready to begin production, as if by magic, the perfect people began to appear to help make The Secret. Suddenly the office was filled with brilliant, creative and talented people, all working to complete the most ambitious project any of them had ever worked on. Without exception, every single person was taught The Secret, and together they collaborated in total harmony working towards the goal of joy to billions.

According to a write-up in the Sydney Morning Herald, the original producer of the DVD, Drew Heriot (who has recently filed a lawsuit against Rhonda and company), has a slightly different take on the birth of The Secret:

In his lawsuit, Mr Heriot says he began working in 2000 with Ms Byrne's company, Prime Time, as an editor for the candid camera-style TV show, Australia Behaving Badly.

He said Ms Byrne told him and one of her producers, Paul Harrington, in January 2005 about an idea she had for a new television series based on several "self-help" and "success" books and audio CDs she had enjoyed while on holidays.

One of the CDs was by well-known inspirational speaker Esther Hicks and two of the books were The Science Of Getting Rich by Wallace D.Wattles, and The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel.*

Ms Byrne wanted to make a documentary-style series with various self-help teachers. Mr Heriot said the three of them decided that the series should be called The Secret, which would ultimately focus on one self-help principle known as the "law of attraction".

One can't help but notice a few differences between Drew's scenario and the one told on The Secret web site.

I'm sure more interesting stories will emerge, and more secrets will be revealed, in the weeks to come.

Well, that's it. Sunday's almost over (and it's long over in other parts of the world), and I think I got the snark out of my system for a while. So...G'night, Dear Ones!

* I haven't read The Master Key System by Charles F. Haanel, but a couple of people whom I really like and respect are Haanel fans. And as it happens, my friend Tony Michalski (who in my opinion has one of the more balanced views of the self-help industry), has repackaged and published Haanel's works in a couple of convenient formats. If you're interested in Haanel, check out what Kallisti Publishing has to offer. (And no, I'm not getting paid, either directly or indirectly, for this plug. )

Another li'l ol' snippet day...

Just a few little snippets today, Dear Ones. I'm dealing with work deadlines (and it's a good thing, as Martha would say).

New-Wage guilt redux
An alert reader sent me an email:

Have you seen this thread on Steve Pavlina's forums?

[Here my reader quotes from the person initiating the thread. ~CC]

But now she's back in the hospital again, and this time they're saying they don't expect her to walk back out. Anywhere from three days to three weeks, they're saying. And I am tormented with guilt and doubt. What did I do wrong? Why didn't it work, when I truly believed that it would?

[End quote...and the reader continues with the comment. ~CC]

The opening post makes me so sad, and then some of the replies make me angry as hell. ("it was her time, etc.")

Ah the frustration at the whole thing....

Indeed. I share my reader's frustration and anger, and this is the very type of thread that, at the very least, makes me wonder if perhaps the above-linked site's tag line, "Personal development for smart people" needs to be seriously reconsidered.

I've sort of touched on New-Wage guilt (and other sorts of spiritually inspired guilt) before, but maybe it's time to revisit the topic.

In my view, one of the most futile, absurd, and heartbreaking of human endeavors is the attempt to second-guess God/Goddess or the universe or fate or whatever you want to call he/she/it. I think it's safe to say that diseases and other medical conditions (for example) have causes, even if our understanding of those causes is incomplete. Most accidents or natural disasters have causes too. In our eternal (and sometimes infernal) search for meaning, however, we often attempt to dig for a deeper "why" behind it all. This is only natural, and, of course, it isn't something that began with New-Wage guiltmongers or Law Of Attraction Nazis. But the latter have definitely put a new spin on the whole thing, with their gross misuse of the concepts of "attraction," "100% responsibility," and the like.

The big "Why?" could just as easily be answered with another question, "Why not?" As flippant and even callous as that may sound, it's a much kinder, and ultimately more realistic, response than one often gets from the Secretrons and LOA-noids.

Curtis-y call
I'm on the email list for news and updates from John Curtis, the guy who's crusading against fraudulent self-help (though as I've noted before, some would say that "fraudulent self-help" is a redundancy).

Couple of days ago I received this email from him:

Since many have asked... here is an opinion about the latest of what The Secret is attracting.

Now you know!

I applaud John Curtis and the work he is doing, but couldn't help raising an eyebrow (well, both eyebrows, to be precise) at the source and subject of the "opinion" – one Nina Amir, of Pure Spirit Creations. Here's what it says on her bio page on the Pure Spirit Creations web site:

Recently Nina Amir has started calling herself a Kabbalistic Conscious Creation Coach. While she is not trained as a life coach per se, her certification as a rebirther, her work as a Voice Dialogue facilitator, her training as a Tarot reader, her many years spent taking and teaching human potential-related classes, her study of spirituality, metaphysics, meditation and mysticism, her minor in psychology, her participation in an ongoing women’s spiritual support group for the past 13 years, her leadership of two other spiritual support groups, and her focus on writing books and articles that help others live their lives fully have all given Nina a unique ability to help others achieve goals in many areas of their lives.

Nina Amir is also the author of a booklet entitled, Abracadabra: The Kabbalah of Conscious Creation, 10 Mystical Steps to Manifesting Your Dreams and Desires:

If you've seen or read The Secret and would like to put the concepts of Creative Thought and the Law of Attraction through a Jewish mystical lens, you must read this booklet! If you like The Secret but want to see how these principles can be applied in a more spiritual manner, Abracadabra! will tell you how.

M'kay.

It's possible that John Curtis merely wished to demonstrate that even some folks in the pop-spirituality community (arguably The Secret's largest fan base) are bothered by the disconnect between Secret producer Rhonda Byrne's glowing babble of an abundant universe and the apparent greed that she and her bidness partner Bob Rainone are displaying. If such a demonstration wasn't John's intent, though, one would think that maybe he could have found an opinion source more in sync with what his site and work are all about... a source such as, oh, I don't know...*

Don't get me wrong. Although Kabbalah has in recent years been gobbled up by the conspicuously enlightened and the insufferably evolved set (particularly the Hollyweirds), I gotta tell ya I have nothing against Nina Amir or Kabbalah or Jewish mystical lenses. But hey, John! What am I? Chopped liver?

A degree of confusion
I'm a little confused about an anonymous comment I received today in response to an older post in which I took a potshot at phony or questionable doctorate degrees (scroll down to the second item, "Doctoring up your credibility"). My correspondent wrote:

The article is about the "phony" degrees that are "so easy" to obtain. Okay... I am willing to buy into that from the "authority" who wrote the article. The only trouble is that these "phony" degrees will get you knocked out of any Pell Grant if you apply for one that will get you into a tech school. They may not be "accredited" but they are certainly recognized. Furthermore, these degrees are theological, not academic, and clearly state they are. You cannot give a school an accreditation if it's based on Theology. Dr. Billy Graham, who is one of the most praised "doctors" in the world of religion, has only an earned Bachelors degree in anthropology from Wheaton College. George W. Bush has a Doctorate from Yale.. but he never earned it.. it's honorary... so which is more of a "doctor"? Lastly, I would like to say if these "phoney" doctorates are so damned easy to obtain, why is it that NOT ONE of those who criticize them has ever earned one? Perhaps because they are so "worthless"? Yeah, I thought so.

I won't address the whole comment because I'm still trying to figure it out (I'm a bit slow on the uptake today, I guess). But I will address the last part of the comment. Though I acknowledge I may have been completely misinterpreting that point, it appears that the writer is asking why critics such as yours truly who slam those easy-to-obtain degrees have never "earned" one ourselves. Well, I can't speak for all of the critics, but I haven't bothered to "earn" one of the phony degrees because there are things I'd rather spend my money on, such as trips to Costco. Also, when you lie about your education, it catches up to you sooner or later.

As for people who hold "honorary" degrees from accredited schools, it is the choice of those schools' faculty and/or alumni to bestow these honors. So if Yale wanted to kiss up to Dubya (as they had done a few years earlier with his daddy) and give him an honorary doctorate – despite his lackluster academic performance when he was a student there, and despite the fact that for many years he played down his Ivy-League roots so people would think he was a good-ol'-boy Texan – well, so be it. However, it must be said that the recipients of honorary Ph.D.'s do not generally exploit their degrees the way the New-Wage hustledorks do. (F'rinstance, when is the last time you heard someone call Dubya or his daddy "Dr. Bush?")

My post that I linked to above wasn't the first time I'd taken a shot on this blog at the phony-degree phenomenon. But it's not the degrees in and of themselves that bug me the most, although I would imagine they are kind of an insult to people who spend years of time and tons of money in pursuit of real degrees. What really bugs me the most, as I've said elsewhere on this blog and on others (such as Steve Salerno's SHAMblog), is that the phony-degree holders seem to want to have it both ways.

I've acknowledged that the whole accreditation / credential system is kind of arbitrary. Furthermore, having a bunch of letters after your name, real or otherwise, doesn't guarantee that you are smart, and it especially doesn't guarantee that you are wise. Conversely, not having those credentials doesn't mean that you're dumb or that you have nothing to say worth listening to. (I only have a high school education, and if I do say so myself, once in a while I have something to say that makes sense.) New-Wagers who are called on their own questionable degrees, or their followers who feel compelled to defend them, have been known to argue these very points.

Which, of course, just raises the question: "If the accreditation system and credentials are arbitrary and are insignificant in the larger scheme of things, then why go to the trouble to get yourself a phony doctorate in the first place?"

Yeah, I thought so. That siren song of instant "credibility" calls. Well, for those of you who, despite all my snarking, still can't resist the lure, I found another source for an instant education. Of course they're not doing anything illegal; the onus is on the buyer to be "truthful":

By ordering via this service, you are making a legal declaration that you have sufficient previous Work Experience for the degree you wish to be awarded. This unique system is an excellent opportunity.

Everything is perfectly legal, providing you are truthful when you order.

Here are some testimonials from some happy "students":

Even though my business does not require a college education, I have noticed a sharp increase in clients seeking my services. I have also noticed they haggle less as to my fees and estimates.
--Mariah Benton, MBA

The first job I applied for after getting my instant degree resulted in being called to an interview. I was able to demonstrate my IT skills and was offered the job. My boss is extremely happy that he hired me and I am inline for promotion. If it wasn't for your service I would still be in the reject pile.
--Geoff D, BSc

Okey-dokey, it's back to work I go. Have a great weekend, y'all. And remember, if you truly want to better yourself, don't forget to study! Or at least have a valid credit card!

* Re the seeming inconsistency between John Curtis' mission/point of view, and the fact that he chose a mystical-spiritual writer to back his p.o.v.: I acknowledge that I too have recently been called on a similar inconsistency, by virtue of publishing comments from, and applauding the wit of, a person who makes at least part of his living in a New-Wagey kinda way. Inconsistency duly noted, though it should also be noted that I have invited this person to answer the "charges" leveled against him on this blog and others.

Lusty coaches & Christian retreats: it's a mad, mad Whirled

I'm afraid this is going to be another one of those drive-by blog posts. I have tons of real work to do, but I did want to point you in the direction of a couple Whirled-class items.

An alert reader sent me a link to a story that Steve Salerno also wrote about on SHAMblog, regarding a "prosperity guru" who has been charged with sexual assault. Bijan Anjomi, 64, has been charged with three counts of sexual assault after two alleged incidents in Toronto, Canada hotel rooms. According to Toronto police, the two women, ages 27 and 37, believed they were attending personal coaching sessions when the incidents allegedly took place. They called police once they snapped to what was really happening.

And so another hero of the conspicuously enlightened bites the dust. And my, what a shame, since Anjomi had apparently amassed quite an enthusiastic following. Here's just one bubbly write-up from a June 2007 blog post:

Bijan Anjomi is a man who intimately knows miracles. Moment by moment Bijan expects miracles, lives them and expresses into the world from the mist of them. And ... he creates a space in which others effortlessly begin experiencing their own miracles. Communing with Bijan is nothing less than a step into a shimmering blue healing pool of miracles. You are instantly healed and your consciousness is elevated. Miracles happen!

Hmmm... maybe we'd better make that a "shimmering pool of misdirected lust." And perhaps "intimately knows miracles" and "expresses into the world" is code for what was really going on.
On one of Bijan's web sites, The Perfect You, we learn that "his award-winning physique, sculpted and symmetrical, is a metaphor for his philosophy of life: 'Everything in balance and proportion, nothing to extreme.'" Bijan's main site is EffortlessProsperity.com.
According to the Canwest News Service story I linked to above, Bijan's defense attorney, Stephen Bernstein, said that the charges against his client will be "vigorously defended." Interesting choice of words, Counselor! Good to know that we can look forward to yet more "vigorous" activity in regard to Bijan.

On his SHAMblog post, Steve Salerno cited the excellent chapter about life coaches in his book, SHAM: How The Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless. In that chapter he wrote about, as he puts it, " a subset of life coaches known as 'relationship coaches' or 'intimacy experts' who offer a more personalized kind of training that may ultimately become, in effect, a form of prostitution. " Seems like our guy Bijan is another shining example of this phenomenon. Oops, make that "is allegedly another shining example of this phenomenon."

Last year I too was inspired to take a stab at the life-coaching epidemic. At that time I was receiving a ton of spam emails from New-Wage entrepreneurs who were surfing the Secret wave and claiming to be Law Of Attraction coaches. Thinking about the life-coach problem put me in mind of an experience I'd had with a "coach"; an essay about that experience appears on my old Cosmic Relief web site. Let me hasten to add that there was no illicit sex, or any sex, involved in that incident; it was merely an intensely annoying experience.

But I've been around New-Wage culture long enough to know that the "hands-where-they-don't-belong" gurus and "therapists" and such aren't all that uncommon. I almost had an encounter with one years ago, but fortunately got "creepy" vibes after one phone conversation with him and I never followed up. (I honestly don't think I could have been manipulated into any sort of intimate encounter with this joker, but I'm still glad I listened to my instincts.) Later this person was immortalized as a sexual predator in a book by a bestselling New-Wage author.

Before I leave you and go back to work, Dear Ones, let me point you to a most excellent article that one of my favorite regulars, HHH, showed me. I've often thought that few selfish-help experiences could be worse than one of those intensive New-Wage retreats where you get in touch with your raw primitive emotions and engage in group vomiting and so forth. But I was wrong. There is something worse: an intensive evangelical Christian retreat where you get in touch with your raw primitive emotions and engage in group vomiting and so forth – AND learn to speak in tongues.

Have at it... and have a terrific weekend. And thank you again, HHH, for the link.

PS ~ I neglected to mention above that Jody Radzik at Guruphiliac was also on the Bijan story; he's the one who really keeps on top of which gurus are on top of their followers. Here's the link to his post on the "prosperity guru."

* * * * *

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Go, Charlie!

Last night on ABC Nightline, there was a story about a court battle between the two leading lights in the satellite TV industry. NewsCorp's Rupert Murdoch, owner of DirecTV, and EchoStar Corporation's Charlie Ergen, owner of Dish Network, have been going at each other for years, but now it's really getting good. The current flap concerns Charlie's accusation that Rupie (or one of his subsidiary companies) hired hackers to steal code from EchoStar. Speculation is that neither side in this battle is going to come out smelling like a rose.


Charlie's an interesting guy whose amazing success story is pretty well known in business circles. The page I link to above summarizes the shaky beginnings of his empire:

In 1980 Ergen and Jim DeFranco, a gambling buddy, tried their luck at the blackjack and poker tables in Las Vegas, Nevada—they were both considered professional gamblers at the time. Both men were ejected from the town after being accused of counting cards at blackjack; while looking for something else to do, they saw a truck carrying a huge satellite-television dish. Like shrewd card players attracted to games of risk, they impulsively decided to jump into the new business of satellite television.

The new business took. The gamble paid off big. And now Charlie Ergen is one of the richest men in America.

He's been feuding with media mogul Rupert Murdoch for over ten years. I've been following these matters with interest and have been rooting for Charlie, because long ago and far away, I used to work for him. (You knew I would find a way to make this about me, didn't you?)

To be more specific, I began working for Charlie Ergen when he bought out the company I was with, Houston Tracker Systems (HTS). HTS was a manufacturer of home satellite equipment back in the big-dish days, and I worked in their propaganda department...er...advertising and marketing department. I was a copywriter, newsletter editor, corporate communications specialist...you name it, if it needed to get written, I wrote it.

I got tons of great experience there and had the privilege of working with the head of the ad department, an amazingly talented and creative guy named Arnold Gonzalez, who now has his own ad agency. To Arnold goes much of the credit (or blame, as the case may be) for my getting into graphic design.

Within about a year of Charlie's purchase of the company, we – the company and much of the work force – up and moved from Houston to Colorado. That was just fine with me, because I'd lived in Colorado as a child and it felt like I was going back home.

Unfortunately, I wasn't really "at home" in the corporate environment, which, of course, was as much a reflection on me as it was on that particular environment. In the end, as much as I hated to say goodbye to Arnold (we've recently reconnected, though), I tendered my resignation.

But I did not go quietly. I felt duty-bound to tell Charlie and company exactly what I thought about the way they were running the show. Ultimately my nine-page resignation letter (complete with sub-heads and footnotes) grew to nineteen pages, including addenda and attachments and exhibits. It was a pre-Dilbert-days treatise on corporate politics and hypocrisy, with a splash of humor and even a couple of puns thrown in. (I just pulled it out the other day and looked at it, and y'know, it isn't half bad.)

In retrospect I realize that this was a very geeky and unprofessional thing for me to do, but it did provide a jump-start for a new phase in my career. It certainly provided more than a hint of my qualifications to write books. Somehow, the resignation letter accidentally got leaked – goodness knows how that could have happened – and numerous copies were made and distributed to the legions of discontented "downstairs" workers (I was one of the "upstairs" workers). Soon it was all over the place. I was kind of a hero.

My immediate supervisors and the president of the company talked to me about my letter and my decision to resign, and then Charlie called me into his office to discuss the matter. The gist of all of those conversations seemed to be to address the concerns I had expressed in my lengthy missive, and to ask me to reconsider my decision. Further, Charlie and the company president both insisted that to their knowledge, most of my observations in my letter were inaccurate. "If we really were the kind of company you portrayed," I was told, "we really would have a problem. But we're not that kind of company." They were very calm and rational about it, and seemingly not at all ruffled. Charlie even told me, "Dissent is healthy, and we welcome it around here!"

I guess I was a little disappointed.

Regarding their assessment of the company, not to mention Charlie's endorsement of dissent, I wasn't at all convinced, any more than I was convinced that they truly wanted me to stay on. Roger, my fiancé at the time, was one of their most valuable engineers; he was doing a lot of hardware and software for their newest product lines. Since he was very supportive of me, and had his own gripes about the company, I sensed that they were more afraid of losing him than they were of losing me. I figured they thought that if they could keep me on, despite the fact that I had proven to be a royal p.i.t.a., then maybe they'd be more likely to retain their genius engineer. That was my reasoning, anyway.

In any case the point was moot, because my decision was firm. I tied up loose ends, prepared my office for my successor(s), whoever they might be, and sailed off into the wild blue freedom of free-lancery. Roger stayed on with the company a few months longer.

Shortly after I left there was a company picnic, and since Roger was still an employee, we went. The people who had been my friends and allies at the company immediately came up and talked to me and said they were glad to see me, and they seemed to mean it.

Charlie's minions, on the other hand, stayed far away, barely acknowledging my presence. That is, they stayed away until the Big Man himself came striding up to me as if I were a long-lost friend. He clapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hiya, Connie, how ya' doin'? Good to see you here!"... just as if nothing had ever been amiss.

Immediately following his jovial welcome, the brown-nosed army that had previously shunned me made their way one by one over to my table and said their requisite hellos. They still seemed a little uncomfortable about the whole thing, though. Or maybe I was just projecting.

Not long after that, Roger quit the company, and towards the end of the year he got a job offer in Houston from the young entrepreneur who had sold HTS to Charlie. So we packed up and went back down south, leaving Colorado during one of the most gloriously bloody sunsets I'd seen in a while. I could barely see it through the tears. Leaving Colorado hurts, I've learned.

But I love Texas too, and eventually I settled back into the land of no real seasons. Years went by. I got divorced but remained friends with Roger. I met Ron. We got into the book writing business. I got into blogging. And so on.

And here I am today, following the latest installment in the ongoing saga of Wicked Rupie versus Scrappy Charlie. So I say... go get 'em, Charlie. And by the way, Charlie, if you're reading this, Ron and I would very much like to help you write your autobiography. We're right here.