Hunka hunka burnin’ lust…on Maui!

Just when I thought I was ready to finally wrap up the increasingly ill-named Hawai’ian "Week," I got this email last night that was so full of mana that I just had to share it with you, Dear Ones. The message came from my favorite New-Wage spam service, which never disappoints. The subject line read, "Be Kissed into Consciousness with Dreaming-Bear." On first glance that didn’t sound particularly Hawai’ian, but then when I scrolled down I found out that Dreaming-Bear, after flitting about in twenty-six states in the US and seventeen countries overseas, has finally alighted on Maui.

Dreaming-Bear Kanaan, aka "The Kissing Prophet" (for which moniker I think we have some ditzy Maui journalist to blame) is a poet, performance artist, and poseur extraordinaire who appears to be deeply in love with himself. Judging by some of the pics on his web site, he also must drink a lot of Red Bull. But he’s also got a mystical shtick, which is why I got wind of him from my New-Wage spam service. His spiritual credentials are pretty impressive: he is, according to the email I received, "an Ordained Mystic Shaman, Author of 8 Inspired Books, Compassion Troubadour, & an International Spiritual Teacher of Tenderness."

Among his books is a collection of poetry entitled Wild Love ~ Kissed into Consciousness. So far it has a five-star review on Amazon, based on three reviews, and if you read those reviews, particularly the first one, you'll see the writing style is remarkably similar to that of the poet himself. Wow, his gift must be contagious, huh? Of his poetry he writes:

I Am, therefore. I Write. Each poem is my own personal painting with words. What Michelangelo did with the Sistine Chapel; I have sought to do to the page of Existence with the palette of thought.*

According to the bio on Amazon, Dreaming-Bear "has been a Professor at various universities & colleges for the last seven years, he holds two Masters Degrees, one in Communication, and one in Native American Philosophy (being completed now)." He is currently traveling and speaking around the world in homes, schools, and public venues "in an effort to create communal ecstasy and spiritual rapture through a synergy of poetry, art, music, and dance; happening in sacred performance rituals called: Shaman’s Seduction."

I imagine things have been a little dull on Maui since the disgrace of Tilak, who for a time was one of the darlings of the conspicuously enlightened on that magical isle (although he didn't actually live there). Dreaming-Bear is younger and whiter than Tilak, and as far as I know he doesn’t keep little flashlights in his mouth, but he does seem to have an enthusiastic female following.

Here’s what last night’s email promised:

Come experience Ecstatic Love through a dialogue of divinity! Be a part of the High Vibration poetic darshan, all the while being aroused to inspiration through expanded thought forms; which untie your heart’s wings & allow the sacred within you to soar! Feel your mind, body, & spirit come together have a quantum-conscious evolution in the Now, as you so playfully discover your second-innocence. Let your senses be reborn through the essence of Oneness. Receive the activation & inspiration your soul has been longing for!

Here are three upcoming opportunities for you to commune with what is being described as "Hafiz and Rumi joining hands and hearts to walk into the 21st century & use Dreaming Bear’s tongue as theirs to deliver their ancient voices to a world hungry for Divine-Love."
~Maui Mass Media~

Reading further, I gained a little more insight into Dreaming-Bear’s shtick:

MauiTime Weekly writes of Dreaming-Bear:

Yeah, he's kinda really hot, too. I prefer to think of him as the kissing prophet. He whispers and flirts his message of peace in seductive language and varying degrees of undress. He says stuff like, "Make love to the moment" and "taste the holiness in the chocolate," so you know I’m totally down with that. Don’t let me steer you wrong, though — DB’s intentions are pure and true, of course, meant to inspire against the ravages and tragedies of war. DB believes in this generation, in this society, that we’ve really lost a sense of tenderness as a way of life. And when I say tenderness I mean kindness and compassion, kissing. Imagine for a moment kindness and compassion making out in the corner somewhere," he’s said on a YouTube video entitled "Chocolate Poetry." How sweet that would be, wouldn’t it? And that’s tenderness expressing itself in us. Mmmhmm... like I said, kissing prophet.

But ya know, I think you really need to experience a little hunka hunka Dreaming-Bear for yourself. Make sure you’re not drinking anything, because it might end up coming out of your nose and messing up your keyboard (I’m watching out for you, Tony). And you probably ought to empty your bladder too, unless you were planning on changing your underwear anyway.

All righty, then, Dear Ones, are you ready for a little Bear? Here are some samplers:

• Dreaming-Bear on The Real Revolution
• Dreaming Bear at a Maui Poetry Slam
• Dreaming-Bear’s MySpace page
• A nearly hour-long interview that I call "Two SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) on Maui." [Nausea alert: The SNAGs are really, really SNAGgy.] The sound isn't real good on this one, but if you scroll down you can see more video gems and other links.
• And finally, a photo collection best described as Dreaming-Bear’s tribute to his own beauty. I guess I should put out another nausea alert for that one too.

History, particularly modern history, has shown us that intense narcissism coupled with pseudo-mysticism can be either tremendously entertaining or terribly dangerous. I’m definitely leaning towards the former with Dreaming-Bear, particularly since he is ostensibly hamming and posing for a noble cause: peace. But I think it’s pretty obvious that his highest cause is himself. As a narcissist myself, I can relate. In fact, I find that Dreaming-Bear is inspiring me. He has convinced me, once and for all, of a deep truth about myself:

I gotta find me a shtick or a scam.

More Dreaming-Bear gossip here (scroll down to fifth item, "Dreaming-Bear redux").

For the scoop on Dreaming-Bear at Burning Man, click here.

* Dreaming-Bear also has a book called The Comma Sutra. He's not the first to build a book around that particular pun; there's at least one other book with the same title. In fact, yours truly had this same brilliant idea back in 1992 or so, but I never did anything about it. You can read more about me and my bright ideas here.

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