Another snipe-and-run day

I can't believe it's been a whole friggin' week since I've blogged. This is going to be one of those snippet days, but I promise I’ll be back soon with something more substantial (or at least as substantial as things get on this blog).

YouBoob
I’ve probably been wasting way too much time watching online videos when I should be working, but I bet you have too, so I don’t feel so bad. People are always sending me links to must-see videos, and these often get me sidetracked in a search for related stuff, and before I know it, hours have passed.

F’instance, last week someone sent me a link to this video of a guy taking a bubble bath while getting all in a lather about some spiritual stuff. Bubble Guy is one Jonathan Orchard, a former rock star who now teaches yoga in Scotland's Findhorn Community, home of the fabled Findhorn Garden. (Even though I have a black thumb and zero interest in gardening, it was, oddly enough, the miraculous story of the Findhorn Garden that really got me interested in New-Age stuff many years ago. For years I searched for, and occasionally convinced myself that I saw, the nature devas in glints of sunlight and the shadows of trees. But keep in mind that I was drinking heavily in those days.)

Anyway, I forwarded the link to the bubble bath video to my pal Tony, and he said it sort of put him in mind of a scene from The Silence Of The Lambs. That prompted me to do a little Googling, and I came across a music video, several years old, that was inspired by the Lambs scene Tony mentioned. I am apparently one of the last people on the planet under the age of 80 who hadn’t discovered this video by the Chicago group The Greenskeepers, but better late than never.

But I digress. There really is a lot of spiritual and metaphysical stuff on YouTube. It's not all lonelygirl15 or Smosh episodes, movie trailers, music videos, and candid footage of spoiled little drunk gals. As it happens, many YouTubers are into powerfully intending and manifesting and things like that, thanks to The Secret, Abraham-Hicks, etc. So it was only a matter of time before someone came up with the idea of adding a new way to manifest your dreams: make a movie about them, and put it on YouTube! And I have to say it’s a pretty cool idea. Why limit yourself to vision boards – you know, cutting pictures out of magazines and making collages about your ideal life – when you can turn your wishes, hopes, and dreams into a little movie that you can inflict on an unsuspecting world?

"But, Cosmic Connie, I don’t know the first thing about making movies!" you might be protesting. Well, I have good news for you. There is a new product called Mind Movies that has everything you need to make your own movie. You hardly have to do a thing. Want a McMansion, a dream vacation, the obligatory sleek red sports car, or even a better-looking group of friends than your current crop of loser pals to envy all of your new stuff? As long as you have $27 USD, you've got it all! Well, at least you have a way to make a Mind Movie about it all. And what’s even better is that the Mind Movies company has an affiliate program, so you can become an annoying MLM person, much like the Aussie hustledork in the intro video on the Mind Movies home page. What a deal!

Condescension duly noted
The arguments about the Law Of Attraction rage on, with pro-LOA-ers pitted against "The Naysayers." On a recent discussion on Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale’s blog, a guy named Carl, who apparently really, really likes Joe, weighed in with his thoughts. Carl had just bought Joe’s new book, Zero Limits, which I wrote about at length recently. He was only about halfway through the book but was pretty excited about it. Here's what he had to say, in part:

…everything began with the Source.
This is Quantum Ontology. Everything is connected because it all came from source. Therefore, it is Source. And the Source is conscious. Consciousness creates reality. We are conscious, because we are of source.
Everything that exists is actually conscious!
We can attract things or repel them, or the other way around… things can attract and repel us!
Gravity is a good example. The critics love to use this one…
Earth was created by or came from Source, we were created by Source to live on this planet. The earth attracts us to itself by the law of attraction because of mass. The other planets and the sun attract to each other in a harmonious balance.
All you have to do is study gravity, mass and weight; and the relationship between gravity, mass and distance. Note that the force never becomes zero no matter how far you travel...
Everything attracts…because it’s connected. It came from source and is connected to source. It all starts at Zero.
Gravity’s behavior is actually a proof that the Law of Attraction is real, but the critics can’t see past their learned ignorance.
De docta ignorantia…

And someone named Christina responded:

Carl I love your energy. Because we are all connected then, critics have much to teach us even if they are… "unconscious"…No doubt Joe would attract many critics for all different reasons too…. they know they are connected "unconsciously" but can’t quite "get it" so they do what they have been unconsciously programmed to do… To me Joe is like a gardener planting seeds ….
Hey what a wonderful garden!!!!!Can’t wait to see those flowers bloom….in their own time. Sadly some buds may not open. [eyeroll emoticon] But perhaps we can help a long the way - lets keep watering…[smile emoticon]

So, all of us who don’t buy into the Law Of Attraction, as taught in The Secret, can rest easy. We aren’t bad people; we’re just "unopened buds." But maybe if the pro-LOA-ers keep fertilizing…er…watering…us, we’ll "open up." Meanwhile, I guess the best that we unopened buds can do is to keep "teaching" even if we are totally lacking in consciousness. I don’t know how we even get up in the morning…

Why we can’t flyAnd speaking of gravity and the Law Of Attraction…

Just about everyone has fantasized and dreamed of flying, and it sometimes seems a cruel joke that we can’t. Well, now I have a better understanding of the true reason we can’t. It’s not because we lack wings and feathers and hollow bones and other attributes possessed by our avian friends. My ever-vigilant pal Tony found a scintillating debate on The Secret discussion forum last week that gives insight into the real reason we can’t fly.

According to some of the discussion participants (a few of whom seem to have trouble grasping the concept that the Harry Potter books are fiction), the problem is that too many of us believe in the Law Of Gravity, which prevents us from flying. The cumulative effect of that limiting belief is a limiting reality that keeps the whole darned human species grounded. Darn those naysayers!

Dreaming-Bear redux
Hawai’ian Week, which turned out to be more than a mere week, may be over, but I can’t get the Aloha State out of my mind. So consider this a Hawai’ian moment.

I recently received an email from a person who’d read my post about the poseur-mystic Dreaming-Bear , aka "The Kissing Prophet" – author, poet, performance artist, ordained shaman, multi-denominational minister, faux-Native American, and college professor – who now makes his home on Maui. Dreaming-Bear, not to be confused with the Travelodge® mascot Sleepy Bear, isn't actually Hawai'ian; these days he's claiming to be part Cherokee and part Palestinian. He says he's raising money to send to certain Palestinian organizations...um, I mean, to his family members who are wasting away in some Palestinian refugee camp. But he has a definite Hawai'i shtick along with his fake-Indian /soulful poet routines.

My correspondent, who says he knows Dreaming-Bear, sent me some totally gratuitous gossip, which he gave me permission to pass along. Keep in mind that I have not verified these items independently. So, again, this is just gossip. I am always open to hearing from pro-Dreaming-Bear factions, including Dreaming-Bear himself.

Apparently Dreaming-Bear is not above making up stories about his past in order to get laid to impress the impressionable. Among some of the tidbits my correspondent shared:

• In his speech class he made people buy his books and gave them tests such as "What happened to Dreaming Bear on page 5?" He was asked to leave Long Beach State after he was having students call people anonymously and say, "What if you died today? Would you have done everything you wanted?" Bad move for extra credit!
• He was going about 25 miles an hour when he got in his famed "motorcycle accident," and the bike didn't burst into flames; it [sort of] just fell over.
• Two years ago this guy didn't even claim he was Native American. He was claiming he was from Lebanon and listening to 2Pac.
• Dreaming Bear was living in his ex-girlfriend’s garage without her knowing it and got her kicked out of her apartment. Apparently he had told her that he was "storing things there." I guess he forgot to tell her his body was one of them.

Again, that is unsubstantiated gossip, but I thought I would pass it along. It somehow seemed like the right thing to do.

On a related note, I ran across something interesting in my Googling; it appeared to be a message board for one of the college courses Dreaming-Bear was teaching a couple of years ago. It seems to have been a pretty challenging course, if the first assignment was any indicator:

From: Dreaming-Bear (Original Message) Sent: 7/13/2005 11:03 PM
Your first assignment is to create a profile for yourself on this homepage. Your profile should include a digital photo, an active email address, & a phone number you can be reached at. You will also want to create the profile under your new Nickname. If you complete all this by the next class period you will have gotten an A on this assignment. It is my complete honor to be your teacher for the next several weeks. Let’s take this opportunity to discover TURTH [sic]!

Pretty clever way to troll for dates, D-B! (Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no MORE!)

By the way, it seems that the person who takes most of those sexy pics of D-B is the aggressively sincere-looking Richard Marks, M.A., Life Coach/Counselor/Media Producer. He’s actually a pretty good photographer, despite his taste in subjects, but he’s ever so much more than a shutterbug. If you’re ready to realize your heart’s highest dream, Dick is there to help you.

I am ready to be that ally who will be side your side, walking step by step with you until your dream is birthed with all its power and beauty into this world.
I have recently begun intensive studies with Dr. John Demartini from The Secret…
Throughout my life as an artist, coach and counselor, I have focused extensively on studies of Creative Process…
I am quite excited and inspired by my most recent creative endeavor, which is the collaboration on a DVD of sacred poetry with the illuminated mystic poet, Dreaming Bear Kanaan.

It just doesn’t seem fair that Maui has all of that sexy, creative, mystical talent, does it? But really, if you’re interested, I’m sure there’s enough Dreaming-Bear to go around. I’ll pass, though.

Utah: it’s not just for Mormons any more
"Become a Person of Power!" announced the email that I received from my favorite New-Wage spam service recently. "Integrate & Manifest the Power as you live life in the Modern World. Make the work of Ceremonialist, Healer, Psychic, and Teacher your work in the world!"
The message concerned a comprehensive program that includes just about everything a person needs to be a Person Of Power, including:

• DNA Activation & Reading [Prerequisite is Brain Cell Deactivation]
• Advanced Channeling & Evocation Skills
• Etheric Healing
• Exorcism
• Cord Cutting [Placenta cookery lessons available at extra cost]
• Elemental Alchemy & Wicca
• Laying on Stones [Not to be confused with lying around stoned]
• Oracle Training

And it all takes place not in Sedona or Taos or Maui or Boulder or Mt. Shasta or India or Egypt, but, of all places, in Brigham City, Utah. A woman named Laurie Secrist Gudnason, who runs the Rocky Mountain Mystery School, is the teacher.

It is amazingly inexpensive to become a Person Of Power:

3 Degrees of Initiation are Included
$1500.00 Initial Fee
$333 Annual Ceremonial Fee
$1500 Graduation Fee
Payment Plan: $150 monthly for 22 months
$333 Ceremonial Fee Annually paid at the 1st class
Graduation will take place within 18 months to 3 years.

There's an upcoming event that takes place from August 16-19 at the Triolite Center in Brigham City. You can register online at www.7thmystery-products.com. Just think what "graduate of The Rocky Mountain Mystery School" will look like on your C.V. It just may be even more impressive than a phony Ph.D. from a prestigious metaphysical university system. I guess the real "mystery" is why people still believe in this stuff, and, what's more, pay good money to learn more about it.

Well, that’s it for now. I hate to snipe and run…but I promise to be back soon.