Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Saturday, March 05, 2011

ACCESS: Right bawdy for you

Today, Dear Ones, we continue what we began yesterday: the four-day-long celebration of Access and The City – The City being my former hometown of Houston, Texas USA. While the Accessories continue reaching new levels of Accessorydom (Accessorydumb?) in a little conference room at the Hotel Indigo in Houston's elegant but traffic-infested Uptown area, I'll share a few little snippets and tidbits that have come across my e-desk recently.


Ever since I began writing about Access in 2007, I have been hearing from people who have serious issues with this cult-like sex-and-money organization. Here's one early post in which I share some of these people's thoughts. I still hear regularly from folks who are grateful to see some information about Access that hasn't been generated by Access itself or an Access member. The truth is that even after more than 20 years, Access hasn't reached critical mass yet to even be a blip on the radar of most critics and watchers of cults and cult-like orgs; why, there's still no Access discussion on the Rick Ross Forum. And there's little objective information; Access was apparently not even deemed worthy of Wikipedia, though this old and now-outdated article remains in WikiP's rejected-articles archives. Now and again one runs across a critical discussion of Access, such as this one, initiated in 2009, but these discussions are still pretty rare.

So I suppose that for the time being, my little Whirled in this dark little corner of the blogosphere will have to suffice to provide aid and comfort to (1) people who are worried about their loved ones being swallowed up in Access' increasingly greedy/horny maw; (2) ex-Accessories who wonder WTF they were THINKING; and (3) long-time observers of Access who wonder why so many supposedly intelligent adults are still getting sucked up in this pale imitation of Scientology. Apropos of the latter, it has been reported in various places, including here on this very blog, that Gary Douglas is a former Scientologist. Although Gary did not mention Scientology in the now-suppressed "official" story of how he and the late "Mad Monk" of Russia, Rasputin, got to be good buds, it does seem that Access, like so many other New-Wage scams, was inspired at least in part by Scientology. There's no denying that Access continues to promote beliefs and practices that rival Scientology in their wackiness.

One person recently wrote to me about hanging around Access founder Gary Douglas back in the day when Gary was channeling Rasputin, or Raz, as Gary used to fondly call the deceased Russian charlatan. Even though a mere high school student at the time, my correspondent detected that the channeling act was utter crap. One of the things that gave it away was Gary's bad Russian accent, which sounded to my correspondent like that of a Bond villain in the movies. (The fact that Raz didn't speak English when he was alive was suspicious to him too; then again, maybe they have ESL classes in the Afterlife.)

If only Gary's adult followers then and now had been as astute as that teenager, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation today. My correspondent, who was around as Gary made the career transition from real estate and antiques to channeling and con artistry, also knows someone close to Gary who has become quite the Access ripoff artist herself. As seems to be the case with many Accessories, this woman was particularly attracted to the free-love aspect of Access, and insisted that the power of Access would prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. My correspondent said the woman told him that there is a purpose for having multiple sexual partners; it has to do with gathering sexual energy in order to reach a point where one has a "tree of energy" growing out of one's head. But this tree is only visible to higher level humanoids, who are, of course, far more advanced than mere humans.

I recently heard from another person who strongly believes his marriage is breaking up because of the influence of Access. Of course there is more than one side to this story, and I've only heard his side. But his tale is so similar to so many others I've heard, such as this one. All I can say is that if you're in an intimate relationship and your spouse, spousal equivalent, significant other -- or whatever you want to call him/her -- gets involved in Access, be prepared for your relationship to change in unexpected ways. You may not like it.

Someone else sent me a link to a radio show, one of many recorded exchanges between Gary Douglas and California Access facilitator Dr. Kacie Crisp. This show, recorded on January 19, 2011, mostly centered around Access' Right Body For You course. Among the highlights, Gary talked about a lady in Utah who shrunk from size 18 to size 6 after taking his body class, and another who went from 400 pounds to 220. Gary claimed that by listening to his body and playing Frisbee for one hour he went from a size 38 to size 36 waist, which he said isn't supposed to be possible. Humm....Frisbee... I wonder if that's a code. Gary also said that his body told him to drink (and eat, apparently) nothing but lemon juice and sugar, and after eight weeks, amazingly, the fat had melted off. "Seriously," wrote the friend who sent me the link, "that's like saying I entered Buchenwald and by some miracle...."

The show goes on for about an hour, ending with the real come-on in which Gary says that "amazingly beautiful" women are flocking to Access. But, he notes, there haven't been that many guys, so Access is an opportunity for a few lucky guys to be the magnet they've always wanted to be [see PS below]. My friend had listened to the original and said it ended with some brief chatter about Gary sending sexually inappropriate content to Dr. Kacie, but that doesn't seem to be in the recording I heard, which is just as well because frankly, I don't want to think about it. (Besides, the whole concept of "inappropriate" seems inconsistent with Access' freewheeling anything-goes philosophy. "Inappropriate" is so judgmental, after all.) Anyhow, here's the link.

And here's something entertainingly creepy: an invitation from Steve "Magic Eyelids" Comer to participate in an Access Body Class. As with most Access classes, kids 16 and under can get in for free; ages 16-18 get in for half price. The rest of you will have to cough up $950, unless you want to take an Advanced Body Class facilitated by Gary Douglas, which will teach you "a unique set of new body processes that have been created in order to give your body a chance to go beyond the limitations of this reality," and will set you back $1350. Gary is going to be coming back to Houston to do that one on June 18, 2011, at a location to be announced.

Finally, here's an interesting comment that appears on the discussion forum I linked to above. The comment seems to be identical to one I recently declined to publish on my blog because I could not substantiate some of the more eye-raising points. But you're certainly welcome to read it and do further research yourself, if you wish. If nothing else, it adds a new level of meaning to Gary's teasing little invite to guys to join Access and become a "magnet."

How does it get any sillier or creepier than this? I'm sure the Accessories will let us know.

PS added Sunday, March 6: For the benefit of those who haven't viewed this gem of a video yet, here are a couple of lovely examples of Accessory women, Rikka and Summer, who ganged up on a hapless young male and uploaded the results in October of 2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwbbf5mmUoY
(Those weird hand gestures of Rikka's must be some of that top-seekrit hypnotic stuffs they teach you in Access.) And gals, don't feel left out. If you don't want some of that older man-love -- if Gary D leaves you cold -- Access has some younger bait for you too. Not only is there Steve "Hypnotic Eyelids" Comer (linked to above, but here's another one), but there's Gary's main sidekick, Dr. Dain Heer, aka The Bawdy Whisperer. And as I write this, it's not too late to make plans to attend Dr. Dain Heer's Energetic Synthesis of Being Taster Open Evening and Energetic Synthesis of Being Taster, both of which will also be at the Hotel Indigo. Your guess is as good as mine about what ESSB actually is; the description isn't very specific. But hey, it's only $275 for both events, and you'll get to be in the presence of that Dain Heer sexual magnetism.
And remember, kids 16 and under fly free!

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15 Comments:

Blogger kyra said...

Hey CC, I am very glad that you took the time to write these posts on Access. I am sure that these will be of great value to those who don't know about this and are trying to find more critical information on them.

I'm going to have to get on that lemon juice and sugar diet ; ) Keep up the good work xoxo

Sunday, March 06, 2011 12:13:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy animal magnetism, this sounds like a hot chick paradise. I need to enroll in this cockemanie barnyard, lol.
~Anon

Sunday, March 06, 2011 11:01:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Kyra. I know you specialize in critical examination of Esther and Jerry Hicks and their longtime Abrascam, and I applaud you for that. As I've noted previously, Gary Douglas's little group hasn't enjoyed nearly the success that Abe-Hicks has, and Access certainly doesn't seem to be exploiting the imaginary-friends/channeling angle anymore. Nevertheless, Access' roots are very firmly in Gary's old scam of channeling Rasputin, 'Novian,' some old dead monk, and others. The rest is just a freewheeling mixture of quasi-Scientology, free-love theory, and various New-Wage concepts, spiced by Gary's (and Dain's) own rich imaginations. They're just making this crap up as they go along, and, of course, raising their prices to reflect the new levels of wizdumb they are delivering.

Sunday, March 06, 2011 11:53:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yep, Anon, I think that is exactly what Gary had in mind. The female/male ratio does seem rather extraordinary.

Sunday, March 06, 2011 12:08:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am just amazed at how cons and perverts can milk the masses in this day and age. Oh wait I forgot they made this agreement before incarnation hehehe.

~Anon

Sunday, March 06, 2011 3:38:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

As a species, Anon, we seem to have an unquenchable thirst for the con. There will always be a market for charlatans, no matter how sophisticated we fancy ourselves to be.

Sunday, March 06, 2011 4:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why does god give pretty women evil personalities?

Sunday, March 06, 2011 6:32:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Is that a riddle, Anon (6:32 PM), or a rhetorical question? If the former... I give up. Why?

Sunday, March 06, 2011 8:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I was forgetting, narcissist therefore *I* am pretty women, but am *NOT* evil, therefore question does not compute.

OK, you'll have to grant that question poetic licence.

Monday, March 07, 2011 12:15:00 PM  
Blogger kyra said...

Yeah, guess the channeling market was becoming a little too saturated for Gary's liking.

I think what bothers me the most with his "gig" is that these New Age gurus are already taking advantage of people's minds and money. Adding sex to the mix just takes it to a whole new level of exploitation. I was watching a youtube video with his partner-in-crime, Dain Heer (because charlantry + mid30s + dark hair = my kinda guy), and my jaw dropped when he said:

"I realized I had this ability to work with bodies. And at one point, you know, I was working on one person's body, and before I knew it, I was working on six people at a time. That went from six people to twelve to twenty-four to forty-eight and eventually to a hundred and fifty people...all in a room, at the same time."

I know he's talking about his "energy work," but really? It sounds more like a testimonial from a master gigolo. Then, after talking to some women about their seemingly orgasmic experience with one of his "workshops," he talks about the importance of helping and inspiring children. Gross.

Monday, March 07, 2011 5:24:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

You and I think a lot alike, Kyra.

But Dain is nothing if not inspirational, and he inspired me to share a new "movie poster" (see my March 7 post).

Monday, March 07, 2011 5:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Good on you, Connie, for confronting these idiots.

Scientology has been spawning these rip-offs of a huge rip-off since EST. I am an activist against Scientology. It is apparent to me now that their sociopathic organization and abusive behaviors (which are immune to justice, apparently, in the U.S.) have inspired every no talent con artist jerk out there to cash in on people's needs and vulnerabilities.

I thought I'd heard it all, but Access sounds like a new low. Some people won't agree, but I feel this exploitation is the result our privileging religion in our society. Why is it illegal for me to sell a vitamin that I say will make you beautiful, but it isn't illegal to sell a course or a tape or a lecture that I say will make you all-powerful? Because we give "religions" a pass in the promise department. This is very bad in countless ways.

I think it is time the government got involved busting these delusion-factories, including churches if they make claims and treat their members abusively.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011 1:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you Connie for your posts! So funny and dead on!!! I sent you a email but I will post on here also. My eyes have never been so opened until getting a bit involved with "access". I originally heard a telecall with Rikka wich seemed just like some useful tools to use. Always open to self improvement growth I chose to attend a workshop in February. My first clue should of been that I didn't register for all the levels in that particular workshop, I received a email from a facilitator saying most people after having the first level want the second and if you choose it the money will just show up! there is also a major up sell, closer to the workshop they email with more bonus classes, so you can have more of you. Once there it starts off fairly tame, once now I see as brainwashing begins, it gets so wacky! What Rikka preaches is Gary's word - humans and humanoids, different planets, 1% ers, I could go on and on. There were so many red flags I looked over for sure! All in the name of conscious and for more clearings and more consciousness = more classes and lots more money. If it works so fast and so well why come back so much! The binder they give you full of Gary's writings is the biggest load of shit I've ever seen. I calculated for the number of people there and the cost they would have netted between 60,000 - 80,000. The extra facilitators make commissions on number of victims lol. They talk so much about not thinking and having judgement , well that's convenient for believing and accepting all of this. There are also entitie clearings, maybe you have a implant or möbius strip that doesn't allow you to be conscious. The whole thing about no judgements about sex to me equals breeding ground for people to be taken advantage of preyed upon and for every pedophile to join in. This experience for me was the biggest blessing in disguise, completely trusting my intuition, having opinion and logic and using it is what I have learned. I did a lot of research on cults, brainwashing, etc. And it is sickening how many similarities there are. I gathered every new age, spiritual book, CDs, etc. And threw them in the dumpster. What the hell was I thinking!! Lol. This of course is my experience my opinion and anyone reading this do your homework on this stuff. If something feels weird it probably is, investigate , ask hard questions, stick up for yourself.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012 1:47:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I quit smoking cigarettes after THREE SESSIONS with A MALE FACILITATOR FROM ACCESS in NOVEMBER OF 2008.

I smoked for thirty years. Thank you Gary Douglas. I am so greatful I didn't have to try those stupid patches or waste time with hypnosis.

Ha Ha No smoking anymore for me.
I hate the smell of cigarettes.

HOW DOES IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS YIPPEE!!!

Monday, May 07, 2012 1:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've had my Bars run in access speak. I,haven't found anything to threatening or cultish about it not yet any way. Australians aren't very good joiners and we don't seem to follow any one thing for too long. A lot of people,just come on their own and have their bars run and go home.

Wednesday, January 16, 2013 7:19:00 AM  

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