Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

The Aquaware dare

Dear Ones, I am very excited about an astounding breakthrough in…well…everything, potentially. A while back I blogged about some software called Aquaware, developed by a company called Aquafrequencies. Here's what Aquaware is and does, according to its creators:

In brief, Aquaware is software for PCs which impregnates water with
frequencies that are able to bring about objectives in the water-based human body. Those frequencies create geometrical forms that modify water's snowflake-like liquid crystals which, after ingestion, bathing, showering or direct application, then modify you at the cellular and molecular levels, and even at the level of your DNA, according to selectable intent. It's truly a marvel and works almost unbelievably well.

They have all kinds of specialized products too, such as LightBody for weight loss.

Simply put, Aquaware LightBody is software for your PC, surprisingly effective and very simple to use. You could teach anybody to use it in five minutes. The program impresses water with frequencies that are able to lose your fat for you, and easier and quicker than you might think. We had testers who lost fat the first day, and many within a matter of days.

Then there's SmokeErase to help you quit smoking.

Simply put, Aquaware Smokerase is software for your PC, surprisingly effective and very simple to use. You could teach anybody to use it in five minutes. The program impresses water with frequencies that are able to quit your smoking for you, and easier and quicker than you might think. We had testers who quit the first day, and many within a matter of days.

And so on.

Now I admit that I was kind of making fun of Aquaware in my original post. Some people didn't seem to be aware of this, and one wrote to me that the Aquaware folks had ripped off the technology from someone else.

Well, yesterday I got this email from a man I will refer to as J for now.

Hello, Connie. I'm [he gave me his full name], from Aquafrequencies, codeveloper of Aquaware, the software that modifies water you and your fellow bloggers so blithely and, forgive me for saying so, naively ridicule. I'm always amazed at the facetiousness and condescension of armchair experts who opine without investigating, without so much as gaining a modicum of education regarding anything they're summarily dismissing. Open people generally leave that to science and religion. As I intuit that you're quite open, I think possibly you were catering to your audience to some extent.

The fact is that we can prove everything, scientifically and otherwise. The fact is that I can program your water in Houston from where I sit, and you'd have absolutely no doubt whatsoever in your mind that what I have done is objective fact. We use what we do to cure all diseases, rapidly and effortlessly, but this is something we can't publicly discuss, as you probably well know.

In addition, the woman who posted on your blog regarding theft, etc., is deeply disturbed and is using Websites, blogs, forums, etc., to try to divert traffic to her Website and away from ours. We're extremely well-funded so we don't actually care what she does, but for some, as in your case, we have to set the record straight. We know precisely what we're doing and how we're going to - phase by phase - introduce this next stage technology to the world. Our planning involves years.

My proposal to you is to let me prove it, and I guarantee you I will, and then have you post on your own blog some measure of retraction to your presently uninformed flavor of sarcasm. Actually, your text is ingenious, as it teeters with admirable dexterity between what could be construed as sarcasm and what could be construed as sincerity. If you did that purposefully, well done.

You game?

Am I game?!? You bet I’m game, J.! I’m an "open person" for sure!

Up till now I’ve shared J’s email with a few of my email pen pals. My friend Blair responded:

This [guy] says, "The fact is that I can program your water in Houston from where I sit, and you'd have absolutely no doubt whatsoever in your mind that what I have done is objective fact."

I’d love to know what happens to water when it is "programmed."

Does it look different? Taste different? What specifically?


And why do I get this feeling it will come
in a pretty blue bottle?

Good questions to ask.

But then my own Rev Ron piped in with an even better idea than J had originally suggested:

I told Connie that she should publicly take the guy up on his offer, but to tell him that rather than be selfish and have him "reprogram" the water at our house, he should "reprogram" the water at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center here in Houston. If he’s the real deal, there should be a spontaneous and widespread cure for all those cancer patients. We’d be glad to provide the address, GPS coordinates, anything he needs to get the job done. If he can pull that off, I’ll personally promote [him] and kiss his hiney on Good Morning America, Oprah, and Larry King Live!

Right on, Rev! And just to get J and his partners started, the map above contains a link that will give more information about just where MD Anderson is. Now, I know I’m probably not supposed to discuss the disease-curing properties of Aquaware right now, due to those party-poopers at the FDA and all that, but darn it all, this news is just too good to keep to myself. If the Aquafreq’s are in fact curing disease, and can prove it in every way it needs to be proven, why not announce it to the world? And instead of wasting time on little old me and my complaints about lousy-tasting tap water, let’s put the technology to work where it is truly needed.

Matter of fact, I think I should give a heads-up about this exciting new breakthrough to some of those wet-blanket blogging docs, such as Dr. Panda Bear, M.D. Dr. Bear has been spending a great deal of time and effort eloquently skewering "alternative/complementary" therapies and defending allopathic medicine – when in fact the whole allopathic v. alternative debate is moot, since the technology developed by the fine folks at Aquafrequencies can easily and effortlessly cure every disease.

So… how about it, J.? Are you game to really prove, scientifically and otherwise, that you can make a difference for those thousands of cancer patients? Houston – and the entire medical world – are waiting.

PS ~ In case any of y'all are thinking of trying Aquaware yourself, here is the link to the Terms Of Use page on the Aquafrequencies web site. It's very detailed, so study it carefully. Maybe you should smoke something first, though.
PPS ~ It occurs to me that this could all be a hoax, and the joke's on me. If so...hey, good one, J!

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25 Comments:

Anonymous HoHaHe said...

I just looked at the website for the weird water software.
WOW! What amazing BS!, it just goes on and on. Phew, ten pages of it. It even says that the tree falling in the woods conundrum is a well known quantum physics parable.
1) It ain't a parable
2) I studied physics for three years and never once did I hear mention of a tree falling in the woods.

If the body is 80% water, why not just aim it at your body?

If I get the free download and aim it at my bladder, will it make magic healing wee-wee?

Maybe you could get the guy to drink some magic wee-wee to prove the efficacy of his product. After all, he is no stranger to taking the piss, is he?

Thursday, November 15, 2007 3:13:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Interesting questions, HHH. But of course you know that your comments put you in the category with me and my "fellow bloggers [who] so blithely and...naively ridicule" the fine products of Aquafrequencies.

Come to think of it, though, maybe I should take J up on his offer to do something with our water here at home, to help the Rev quit smoking. The Rev wouldn't even have to do the quitting; the water would do it for him!

I do take issue with J's calling me an "armchair expert." I rarely sit in an armchair, I'd rather sit on the floor or stretch out on the couch with a cat or two draped over me. And I have NEVER claimed to be an expert in anything except stuff related to my chosen profession -- which has nothing to do with quantum fizzies or anything like that.

Thursday, November 15, 2007 3:28:00 PM  
Anonymous hohahe said...

The guy says that you are open and merely catering for the audience, i.e. me. Open?.......catering?.......Waaaaaarghh.....boo hooooo..I thought you were true and real but you were just humouring us.....boo hoo blub blub.......you and your 'open' cronies just see us as sheep.....boo hooo...you don't really love us...sniff...is it our fault that we the unevolved audience cannot cope with the profound cosmic changes in our epoch. No, we understand, you must leave us and move on, you have outgrown us and our closed ways. You must find your true tribe, we will remain here should you return from your 'open' soul communion with Mr Weirdwater. No it's o.k., we closed souls will be happy to grow potatoes and watch t.v., ours it not a destiny of radiance like yours and Mr Wierdwater- the Open Ones.
We will write poems to the 'open' ones and their vibrational mastery, their benevalence awaiting the day when you may return to gift us with a small precious blue bottle of magic wee-wee.

The dark side is calling you Connie, the howl of the 'open' ones rings out in the woods, will you join them to run wild, free of fear, free of guilt and free to sink your teeth into the tasty tender sheep throats.

Thursday, November 15, 2007 3:43:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Here's a secret, but don't let on to "J": I am not just *catering* to you. I am one of you! :-)

Thursday, November 15, 2007 3:49:00 PM  
Anonymous HoHaHe said...

No, you do not have to pretend any more, we knew this day must come. You must spread your wings and fly towards the sun with the 'open' ones. You must master the cosmos with your advanced vibrational science. It is destiny. You cannot resist the surging tide in your heart when you think of your place at the table of the gods of the new age, and we would not hold you back. Let us not be the bonds of a chrysalis that must be crack'd for you to fly forth, let us be the launch pad for your meteoric ascent into the lofty ethers of the spirit. It is the dawning of the age of aquarius, and you must join with Captain Wierdwater to sail the seas of goodness and the oceans of the healing waters of life, pouring forth great fountains of magic wee-wee! Go, fly, be free!
Ah, I die.
Unh!

Thursday, November 15, 2007 4:36:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Sniff, sniff... All right, then... I shall miss all of you unevolved little people.

Thursday, November 15, 2007 4:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

So, I put on my WWCD T-shirt and pop over to the site...

Hmmm.... It certainly sounds impressive; it's got cool stuff about information theory, and they've got a handle on quantum mechanics. And, most important, they've been guided, GUIDED, to develop this technology to heal the world.

I don't know, Connie. I think you're being way too hard on them.

Thursday, November 15, 2007 5:42:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Well, Lana, I'm gonna give these guys a chance. I have a very modest proposal. All I ask is that they (1)program our water here at home to make Ron quit smoking for good (or to make the water quit smoking *for* Ron; I'm not sure how it works); and (2) that they program the water supply for M.D. Anderson Cancer Center and permanently cure all of the current patients (as of a given date, to be determined).

If Ron successfully becomes a nonsmoker without making everyone around him want to duck and run for cover; AND the cancer patients all get completely well, then I will print a retraction and a humble apology, and I will accompany my smoke-free Rev on those hiney-kissing appearances on GMA, Oprah, Larry King Live, etc.

Thursday, November 15, 2007 8:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

Let's see if they'll be guided to take up the dare (which I think is brilliant, by the way).

If the cancer patients are cured, I'll be in the first row.

Thursday, November 15, 2007 8:21:00 PM  
Blogger gregory said...

yesterday i was thinking, what do i want connie to comment on next, and the thought came, "structured water"... and smart water, the whole "new water" thing that is all over the west coast, competing claims, different brands, cosmic t4echnologists in action... higher diemnsional science, (in which, after the spiel, confirmation is often arrived at via pendulum)..... there is a huge thing going on with this, my short tie in ameirca, i met at least five, no six, water bots.... intensely interesting stuff, conversations about hydration and ionization out the ying...

so... now i will read your post and try to ask the questions that were bugging me all summer about this stuff...

it seems that the subtle astral is starting to be analyzed, but how to communicate that without the snake oil claims, is one thing i am looking at...

Friday, November 16, 2007 3:19:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Gregory! Yes, "smart water" of one type or another is everywhere, and it's generally accompanied by some very stupid-sounding claims.

I had actually written about "magical" water before on numerous occasions on my blog, mostly in conjunction with products that were supposedly based on Dr. Masaru Emoto's work with water crystals. I don't have my "water" posts specifically tagged as such, but if you type "Emoto" in the search field for my blog (upper lefthand side) most of the posts will pop up.

I'd even previously blogged about the Aquaware company, which is what prompted one of their principals to send me that email.
(Link is
http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2007/07/must-be-something-in-water.html)

I'm not denying the possibility that there are entire subtle layers of existence that we're not yet able to detect or measure. But I don't think I can go too far astray by applying a very simple rule of thumb, which works kind of like the theory of the U.S. justice system in reverse -- i.e., most of this stuff is B.S. until proven otherwise. As you said, separating it from the snake oil is the big challenge.

Friday, November 16, 2007 9:50:00 AM  
Anonymous Lana said...

Connie,
Did you receive my follow-up comment last night? In which I make it clear that my previous comment was made tongue-in-cheek?

Talking via blogs and message boards can lead to some interesting breakdowns in communication, as you well know! It reminds me of the Cingular dropped call commercials. Those are hilarious.

Just making sure...

Friday, November 16, 2007 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Lana! Yes, I did get your follow-up and I apologize for the "glitch." I thought I had clicked "publish" but I apparently hadn't (it was late, I was tired... excuses, excuses). Anyway, it's up there now.

I knew you were being tongue-in-cheek, but I'm glad you clarified, for the benefit of anyone who might not have detected it. Anyhoo, thank you as always for your comments. :-) (I love those "dropped-call" commercials too.)

Friday, November 16, 2007 10:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Lana said...

Okay, good. No apology necessary. I get paranoid about offending people -- at least *some* people! I'm sure I offended Aquaware...

Friday, November 16, 2007 10:30:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hey, you certainly didn't offend me. And if you (or I, for that matter) offended the Aquaware guy, he can, as a friend of mine put it, just take a swig of his magical water and cure himself, easily and effortlessly, of his upset.

Friday, November 16, 2007 11:16:00 AM  
Blogger Citizen Deux said...

Simple, get J to take the James Randi challenge. Prove your effects, collect $1MM dollars. Simple. Otherwise, it's complete quantum flapdoodle.


PS - Bad Science has a great article on homeopathy - which is essentially the same ting.

Friday, November 16, 2007 1:16:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, CD! Yes, I was thinking about James Randi and what he might say about this magic water... And very soon, hopefully today, I'm going to be publishing a post which contains a link to a funny video about homeopathy. Unfortunately, it's one of those *unintentionally* funny things...

Friday, November 16, 2007 2:05:00 PM  
Blogger gregory said...

it has been my experience that esp, or knwoing things at a distance, is real... meaning that it happens, and there are indeed telepathic people...

but...

it has been very hard to prove in a laboratory, or in a james randi type of situation...

and i have been wondering why this is so...

the materialist will say, because it aint real, jake... and that is not good enough for me, i have seen too many circumstances where the best explanation is that the mind can know stuff beyond the limits, or range, of the senses...

so, the "prove it" thing leaves something to be desired; if nothing else the very conditions of observation are so narrow in terms of the whole field of energy normally available and that unnaturalness gets in the way...

i also am sus[icious about pendulums, yet water dowsing is quite acceptable....

.... so i have concluded that we don't yet know how to ask the proper questions to determine if something is real, especially when having to do with subtle energy, which exists, ie you can feel someone reading your newspaper over your shoulder...

and lest we get too proud, science, as advanced as it may be considered, is unbelievably primitive and misdirected is many ways....

.... science doens't tell us about the universe, it tells us about what the mind can know about the universe...

am very interested to see how the aqua guy responds...bj

Friday, November 16, 2007 3:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

gregory,
Yes, these things are hard to prove in the lab, but several scientists say there is lots of evidence to support psychic phenomena. Researching this stuff, as we all know, is a hot potato and can end one's career pretty fast.

Connie,
I'm looking forward to the homeopathy video. I like homeopathy -- I don't know how "it" works. I get good results from some kind of mechanism. This is my experience with energy psychology as well (which you know). And I don't think it's the placebo affect.

Friday, November 16, 2007 3:58:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Good points all, Gregory. It's not even just about asking the right questions, but about how the answers are interpreted. And, playing devil's advocate here (at least from the skeptical perspective), the "woos" aren't the only folks who are sometimes guilty of "confirmation bias."

To be serious for a moment about my "dare" to the Aquaware guy, I'm probably asking too much for him to be able to "cure" all the cancer patients at M.D. Anderson. But I would dare him to actually "program" my water here at home -- from wherever he is -- in such a way that the Rev would just suddenly and spontaneously stop craving nicotine, and would give up cigarettes for good, easily and effortlessly. (Oh, and that he would still be alive and healthy -- I think I need to stipulate that condition! :-))

Friday, November 16, 2007 4:02:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Lana: While many skeptics may throw tomatoes at me, I'm willing to accept the possibility that there may be some validity to *some* "energy medicine," as well as "energy psychology" and the like. But this homeopathy video that I'm going to link to does NOT make a good case for homeopathy -- and that's putting it mildly.

Friday, November 16, 2007 6:07:00 PM  
Blogger gregory said...

there is a whole category of what have been called "intention-driven devices" - the first i saw was from the chiropractic industry, a funnel shape with a skin across the broad end, held over the body for assistance in diagnosis ... (those chiropractors, network chiros with their inter-dimensional assistants, i think they must love controversy)


another category, under the heading of bio-geometry, (and sacred geometry is yet another interesting field,) about how the interior energy field of buildings effects the occupants dr. karim is an example.... in this there is also a product category of "devices" whose shape alone is apparently able to "de-bug" physical space....

then, all the things one can purchase for one's cell phone, or one's wall outlets, intended to ameliorate the negative effects of the associated energy fields.... )there is a school of thought suggesting the the magnetic field inside a toyota prius is damaging to the body)....

the water thing seems to be where a lot of these issues, and the lines between conventional science, and higher dimensional science, as it is called, are colliding most obviously...

clearly the human mind is trying to grasp something that keeps slipping through its mental fingers... and i think this is a fabulous thing, this is how things progress....

a link for lana... homeopathy, yesterday's guardian


it wasn't that long ago that alchemy became chemistry, ....; this process is continuing, i think...

Friday, November 16, 2007 10:41:00 PM  
Blogger gregory said...

there is a sanskrit word, sankalpa, which can be translated as "intention" and it is an accepted thing that a sankalpa made by an "enlightened person" (jody, keep quiet) will come true, or bear fruit....

this is about ron, and smoking.... i quit in the company of a saint, who is known for healing, and never had any withdrawal symptoms, cravings, or lapses, almost ten years now.... this is the guy... but at the time some one asked me an important question, did i really want to stop, and i realized i did, and that was that

(on this site, look for the stash of thirty years of photos of him standing in the fire every shivaratri (before photoshop, lol)

more about so-called magical powers, siddhis, there is a list of them in the third chapter of patanjili's yoga sutras, things that a devloped consciousness supposedly can do... many copies online... (jody?) .... (got to love guruphiliac...)

looking at all of these phenomenon we can see humans are looking for magic, still... or we can say that there is indeed more to be known, and look for how do it...

enjoying

Friday, November 16, 2007 11:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

Thanks for the link, gregory.

I just remembered that I had bookmarked the following page -- a fascinating discussion/debate about the memory of water in homeopathy.

http://tinyurl.com/3a24pd

Saturday, November 17, 2007 11:57:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I have actually listened in on his program while he programmed the spacr you were in to remove negative energy..since h20 is everywhere..and Boy did i Feel it..this instant energy shift..like a great lifting..very impressive..stop discussing..and try it! Lots of stuff is free..and his live program every sunday u can experience the shocking technology yourself!!

Friday, November 25, 2016 3:12:00 PM  

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