Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Monday, July 30, 2007

Must be something in the water...

Call it synchronicity, or perhaps I just "attracted" it with the Aquarius-themed graphics I've been playing with. Or maybe the fact that I was born under the sign of the Water Bearer has something to do with it. But I have just received a very exciting email about water and the Age of Aquarius.

"Now is the time," the email began. "It all starts now. As you read this, the excitement will build. Although you haven't known it, you've been waiting for this message."

Well, I love to find out about stuff I've been doing that I didn't know I was doing. In recent weeks I've been getting some lectures on that very subject, from various self-proclaimed experts. But had I really been waiting for this particular message? I couldn't begin to tell you. I did find myself getting excited, however, although that may have been partly due to the fact that The Rev happened to come into my office while I was perusing the email, and as he read over my shoulder, he slowly began to...oh, wait. Sorry. It's not that kind of blog.

Exciting news poured forth from the email:
We humans are prewired for limitless potential at a preplanned juncture in
time. Now is that time. Our sleeping DNA are awaiting frequencies - also
planned for eons - to awaken them and trigger them to express to their
fullest potential. Our company and what we're producing are a large part of that plan. We have the frequencies for the Aquarian Age. And guess what? You guessed it. Water is involved.
Well, of course water would be involved. And I've certainly blogged about water before. But this was something new, something even more scientifically advanced than the Water Blessing Labels I've previously written about. The email continued:
The Aquarian Age we are just entering is about water, the power of water -
She is the Water-Bearer* - and we have been guided to design and build an
extraordinarily powerful yet simple software tool called Aquaware as a
technological trigger for this abundant and amazing age we're moving rapidly into.
Well, I imagine you're excited too now, and you want to know just what Aquaware is, and how it works.

I'm afraid it's a bit too scientific and technical to go into on a blog like this, but I will share with you the explanation in the email:
In brief, Aquaware is software for PCs which impregnates water with
frequencies that are able to bring about objectives in the water-based human body. Those frequencies create geometrical forms that modify water's snowflake-like liquid crystals which, after ingestion, bathing, showering or direct application, then modify you at the cellular and molecular levels, and even at the level of your DNA, according to selectable intent. It's truly a marvel and works almost unbelievably well.
This is like nothing that's come before in terms of software or other
technological means - different approach, different math, different delivery
mechanism, different everything, and the change in the physical properties
of the water can be observed directly, including a difference in taste,
texture, wetness, etc. And as much water as you've worked with before, water modified with Aquaware will nevertheless surprise you in a big way.
I bet by now you are so excited you're about to wet yourself. If you're going to do that, don't you think you'd have a better overall experience if the vibes in your pee were accelerated via Aquaware?

The good news is that you can try Aquaware risk-free.
As it's free to try in order to prove it to yourself, there is nothing to
lose except everything that is toxic in your system of being, along with all
other superfluous detritus that no longer serves you. You'll adjust with
grace, beauty, power and intended effortlessness to the more natural you
that is prepared for limitless creativity and play in the coming Cosmic
The power of Aquaware is absolutely majestic. If you're an intuitive or are
otherwise sensitive to energy, you will know it upon the first few seconds
of being on the Website.** The excitement will immediately begin. In fact, it
has begun in you even now. We can feel it as we write this text.
My hands are shaking, and I bet yours are too. So c'mon, go with the flow; pay a visit to the Aquaware folks today. Or, as they put it in the email: "Explode into your new way of being by visiting Aquafrequencies today."

* Notwithstanding the fact that Aquarius is, in fact, an Air Sign.
**Hmmm....where have we heard something about magical Websites before?

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Anonymous luckycanucky said...

Reading your blog is always an eye opening experience. It seems so hard to believe anyone would peddle this as an actual tangible improvement to one's body and mind. I couldn't make this junk up on my best brainy inventive day.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007 7:12:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Lucky. I always find it hard to believe too, and I sometimes have to wonder if it's all a big joke... but apparently most of these folks really are serious!

Wednesday, August 01, 2007 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger Dean said...

"Our sleeping DNA are awaiting frequencies - also planned for eons -"
  So the Discovery Institute has a new age division!

"... an extraordinarily powerful yet simple software tool..."
  Five dollars says it can't be installed on a Linux box (or Vista).

"Aquaware is software for PCs which impregnates water..."
  Finally, every fetish is now available online. Fill in your own damn 'watersports' joke.

"Those frequencies create geometrical forms that modify water's snowflake-like liquid crystals..."
  Well, somebody flunked eighth-grade science class.

"[T]he physical properties of the water can be observed directly, including a difference in taste, texture, wetness, etc."
  Tap water in Los Angeles could be described as having the same attributes.

Saturday, August 11, 2007 1:32:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

LOL, Dean. The tap water in my part of Houston has properties that have yet to be defined by science. I do love the way "science" is batted around by these New-Wage jokers. They know that most people won't question the "science" behind their crap.

But, oh, well, it gives me something to blog about! ;-)

Monday, August 13, 2007 3:05:00 PM  
Blogger mcs said...

Ah sorry I didn't detect your sarcasm the first time reading. The ways people try to make money are ridiculous, no?

Thursday, September 27, 2007 8:10:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Not to worry, MCS... you're not the first to miss the sarcasm in some of my posts. And you're absolutely right; the ways people dream up to make money off of the gullible are endless. But hey, it gives me something to blog about! Thanks for writing.

Thursday, September 27, 2007 9:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Johnnyshot99 said...

What to Cluster Water then use the World Renowned SITTER or Miracle 6 software which was the first on the market in 2001 proven to actually cluster water. Today this software does so much more. Why stop there. Do not limit your life to only a few changes when a fully featured program works on all the issues in your life. This technology has had flags flown in it's honor. Clustering water and changing lives for the better since 2001~ www.ushesanctuary.com or www.miracle6.org These guys are great. They even offer a free get started kit and free training. They are the best I have found~

Thursday, October 25, 2007 1:11:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

LOL, Johnnyshot. I've always wanted to cluster my water, and now I can!

Oh, wait. You're serious, aren't you?

All I can say is...you walked right into this one.

Thursday, October 25, 2007 4:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I walkd into nothing. I am actively stopping Peter Schenk of Aqaufrequencies and Jason Davis of ZP Tech from stealing my things since Peter once worked for me or at bottom line making sure people know they are soliciating stolenn ideas and concepts materials and so on. They should be ashamed of themselves. It is a sad day when people cannot be creative enough for themselves that men have to ride the shirt tails of women and take money off of disabled children money and programs www.aquafrequencies.info

Sunday, October 28, 2007 1:08:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

OK, it's obvious I didn't have the backstory.

Sunday, October 28, 2007 1:28:00 PM  

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