Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Friday, June 22, 2007

Thank Goddess it’s Friday

Not that Friday makes any difference, since the Rev and I often work on weekends, and this weekend will be no exception. But I thought I’d take a little break from the grind and share a few more bits of love and light that have come through to me.

It had to happen…
The astonishing power of
prayer has now been combined with the awesome force of quantum physics via…you guessed it…the Quantum Prayer System (QPS). "Think of the QPS as your personal angel with your name on it, hovering above you 24/7, keeping an eye on you and giving communication and directions," read the email, which bore the subject line, "Energetic Balancing Quantum Resonance Technology."

"The quantum prayer system…is the most advanced quantum physics & prayer technology," the message continued. "It is about 20 years ahead of it's [sic] time. Like the ancient Tibeten [sic] prayer wheel, QPS generates millions of healing frequencies of prayer in your name, directly to you, 24/7 for six months, one year, or a lifetime..."

And QPS is not just another cobbled-together bit of pseudoscientific and/or pseudospiritual claptrap designed by New-Wage mercenaries to bilk gullible people out of their hard-earned money. According to the email, it is…

…the ultimate life-force (chi) enhancement program in the universe, to help you slow your aging process, the natural way. The primary purpose of the Quantum Prayer System is to help you raise your LVI (or life-vitality index) and correct any imbalanced frequencies within your energy matrix. We promote well-being and help create lifestyle changes on all levels. No matter what your present condition, you're welcome to join and receive balancing. We only ask that you want to change your situation and participate in your own healing, as you are the only healer for yourself. QPS is committed to quality broadcast of energetic balancing and maintaining a strong focus on customer satisfaction at all times. Our fees are more affordable than any other, and we are the most advanced program of this kind.

Those affordable fees break down as follows:
6 Months = $450. One Year = $600. Lifetime = $2875.

Naturally, QPS comes with the standard loophole inherent in all New-Wage programs: if you don’t get results, it’s your fault. It also comes with a stronger medical disclaimer than I’ve seen on most New-Wage programs:

QPS & EVALUATION ARE NOT
a Medical Treatment!
This program does not provide subscribes [sic] with any form of Therapy, Counseling, Medical Treatment or Diagnosis. If you think you have a medical problem, please see your doctor or dial 911.
The Quantum Prayer System has no recognized value, beyond that which the individual participants assign to it.
The QPS is a spiritual technology using advanced mathematics, fractals and prayers.

So, basically, the message is that QPS has no value, but never mind; send the QPS people your money anyway. I have a better idea (and it’s one I’ve suggested here before, but so far no one has paid heed): send me your money – the more, the better. I have a great deal of value, at least to me.

Memo to Joe V.:
If I spend money to give you an Amazon gift certificate, the "free articles" on your blog aren’t free anymore, are they? At least not for me.

Woman goes off meds again
"
The Nibiruan Council is pleased to announce the release of their second book," said the email. The Nibiruans, I learned, are a group of advanced ET’s who are using a woman named Jelaila Starr as their channel and ghostwriter. Their mission is "to prepare humanity to take their rightful place in the greater galactic community," which is why they are making Jelaila write books, the newest of which is called, The Mission Remembered, Book 2. It will help you figure out the answer to questions such as:

  • Do you have a purpose for being here, a divinely inspired mission?
  • If so, have you discovered your mission, or are you still waiting for it to unfold?
  • What will it entail and what will be required?
  • How do you fulfill it while maintaining a career and caring for your spouse and kids?

The aliens also told Jelaila to make videos. I guess they’re relatively harmless, though, as long as they don’t start telling her to do bad things to her husband or kids.

Speak of the devil (so to speak)
Just the other day
I was expressing concern because I hadn't received a Nether Worlds Reclamation Update from Extreme Lightworker Bryan James in quite some time. This is an ongoing project to rescue 50 million lost souls from Hell. Well, we can all breathe easier because I just got this brief update in my email:

Divine Mother's reclamation project is going extremely well, as 3,898,792 souls have been successfully rescued, rehabilitated and sent home as of June 19. Please continue to send your Light, prayers and best wishes for the full recovery of the remaining souls currently undergoing treatment.

I thought you'd like to know.

Well, I’d best get back to work, and you probably should, too. But if you’d like to spend a little more time in the blogosphere, and you'd like to explore the dark side of "love and light," head on over to Steve Salerno’s SHAMblog for the newest "collateral damage" self-help horror story.

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14 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re: Joe V. gifts

[place tongue firmly in cheek, then read along]

Lol . . . obviously Connie your lack of intention is reflected by not speaking Fire-speak.

See . . . it's not "free" it's "freeee . . .".

Good point regardless. Thanks for the smile and quick work break.

Walter
www.ROIcopy.com

Friday, June 22, 2007 7:48:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

You're welcome, Walter! And you're right; I was never able to master Fire-speak. :-)

Friday, June 22, 2007 11:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Poetry said...

Of Fly Catchers and hidden lakes.

Of sleeping lizards and morning dew.

It is of birdsong and misty dawns

and fleeced clouds floating in a still pool.

The waters ripple awake in the gathering morn.

The first water birds head out for the far shore.

Saturday, June 23, 2007 6:53:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hey, thanks for the poem.

Speaking of water birds, a blue heron is hanging around our house these days. I think he lives in the ditch in front of the house or in the back 40. He is a very cool bird, though he kind of looks odd among all the white wing doves, cardinals, jays, and sparrows. Maybe he's really an Ascended Master with a message, and I'm just not heron it.

There are also some strange looking black and white fowl wandering up and down our street; they look like they're half turkey and half duck. Or maybe it's those "turducken" birds that cost so much in the grocery store.

I think my mind is wandering again. I'd best go and try to catch it...

Saturday, June 23, 2007 7:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Guess who is on A Current Affair Again this week - yes David is back stay tuned

Sunday, June 24, 2007 10:29:00 PM  
Anonymous moi said...

Connie, it sound slike you live in the wilderness with all those creatures hanging around your house. I just get these weird looking horned lizards and some wrens every now and then.

Monday, June 25, 2007 8:25:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

We're all eagerly awaiting...

Monday, June 25, 2007 10:02:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hey, Moi, we live on three-quarters of an acre, and we do have our share of critters. No horned lizards, but plenty of geckos.

Monday, June 25, 2007 10:03:00 AM  
Anonymous moi said...

"and we do have our share of critters.:

Don't forget the shape shifting ascended masters!
Sometimes I get cowboys singing the blues on the neighbor's porch , but I think he shape shifted already cause he hasn't been there in awhile.

Monday, June 25, 2007 1:43:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Cowboys singing the blues? Only in Texas... :-)

Monday, June 25, 2007 1:50:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

here is the link to the latest Secret exposure with David and Bob Proctor making an apperance on ACA

http://ninemsn.video.msn.com/v/en-au/v.htm?g=B9B67324-9890-4D5C-B7F5-443E08576D56&f=&fg=copy

Monday, June 25, 2007 3:27:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Anon! As always, Mozilla Firefox users, and most Mac users, may have trouble using this link, but as soon as I get a YouTube link I'll publish it.

Monday, June 25, 2007 5:43:00 PM  
Anonymous moi said...

Well, I thought it was the blues, but more accurately, it was probably shape shifting horned lizard Texas honky tonk :)

Monday, June 25, 2007 7:10:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yeah, there's a lot of that going around. :-)

Monday, June 25, 2007 7:38:00 PM  

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