Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

It's Hawai'ian Week on Whirled Musings!

Bill Lumbergh: Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.
~ from the movie Office Space

Call me a pa hula wa hini, but darn it, I'm in this Hawai'ian kinda mood, and I just can't shake it. But it's not my fault; the Universe has conspired to put me here. Things just keep happening.

For one thing, Academy put my favorite Hawai'ian sun dresses on sale for half price this weekend. Naturally I picked up a couple of them. Well, I didn't just pick them up. I bought them and took them home. That was Sunday.

A little later that day I was walking past one of my many bookcases and I had a sudden strong urge to take a look at Jane and Michael Stern's classic work, The Encyclopedia of Bad Taste. It's a first edition, now out of print, and I hadn't looked at it in years, but it almost seemed that a Voice was telling me to do so. I think maybe it was Ralph, Blair Warren's Ass-ended Master. Ralph has never led any of us astray, so on the off-chance that the Voice was indeed Ralph, I obeyed. I carefully removed the book from its place in between The New Encyclopedia of American Scandal (now, there's a book that needs updating on an almost daily basis) and Too Good To Be True: The Colossal Book Of Urban Legends. I'm not providing links to those two books because Ralph, or whoever the Voice was, told me not to distract you from the important message I am about to reveal.

When I pried the book from its cozy little space between scandals and urban legends, it fell open to page 146, the entry on "Hawai'ian Shirts." How meaningful is that? I read the entry and was shocked by a reminder of something I'd long ago forgotten: Hawai'ian shirts were once considered to be in bad taste. As the Sterns put it:
...a Hawaiian shirt worn anywhere other than near a beach or swimming pool is the classic way a vulgarian announces that he is unbounded by the livery constraints of polite society.
The book is definitely a bit outdated.

According to the Sterns, the Hawai'ian shirt, which is known as an aloha shirt on the islands of Hawai'i, was born in the days of the Christian missionaries, who were utterly appalled by the nekkid natives. To cover all of that offensive nekkidity, the Christians fashioned shirts and muumuus so big and loose that they didn't need to be sized, and the natives decorated them with Polynesian designs applied with bright vegetable dye. Unfortunately, the dye faded with age; thank Goddess for DuPont's 1924 introduction of rayon, which holds colors fast. That was the beginning of the Hawai'ian shirt we know and love today.

Ralph just thought y'all would like to know. And if you want to know more, go Googling. Or just click here.

Another thing that's gotten me in a Hawai'ian mood is that a song by the late Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
(aka "Iz") has lately been popping up in my head, uninvited. No, it's not that "Over The Rainbow/Wonderful World" medley that has graced numerous movie soundtracks and commercials. It's another one (see link below).

Most important of all, I have made a series of astonishing Hawai'i-related discoveries recently, which I shall of course tell you about. So I decided, why just stop with one day devoted to Hawai'i? Why not a whole week? And so I invite you to celebrate with me. Go ahead: unbind yourself from the livery constraints of polite society and don your Hawai'ian shirt or sundress, or a grass skirt and coconut bra if that's more your style...mix yourself a tropical fruity drink (or something with tiny bubbles)...go get lei'd...or just click on the Whirled Music icon below to get yourself in the mood.

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Israel Kamakawiwo'...

I'll be back tomorrow.

Aloha &
Mele Kalikimaka,

Cosmic Connie

PS - The Hawi'ian Shirt image above was infused with energy to help clean you of negative programs and beliefs as you view it. It will also clean toxins and waste out of your system. As you sit there looking at this picture, particularly the full-size version you can access with a simple mouse click, you may notice a growing sense of peace and calm. If you sit there a little longer, you may notice a frightening rumble deep down in your bowels. If so, for the love of Pele, don't just sit there. Make a run for the john before it's too late.
PPS - In case you are wondering what the heck Hawai'ian shirts or Hawai'ian anything have to do with the normal subject matter of this blog...hold on to your papale; it will all be revealed soon, if not sooner.
PPPS ~ And here's one more thing to get you in a Hawai'ian mood...

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