Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Monday, October 30, 2006

You aura bad parent!

I just received an urgent email from noted Florida psychic Frances Fox, who has warned me that my parents may be tinkering with my aura. And your folks might be messing around with your aura as well. Moreover, they can do this even if they are deceased. I know this is so because…well, because Frances told me, and she thought it was important enough to tell me in all caps:


This was followed by a list of things we can all blame our parents for.


  • Memories of traumas
  • Congestions of emotions from traumas
  • Past life information
  • Negative spirits
  • Fragments from your mother
  • Fragments from your father
  • Fragments from abusers
  • Depression
  • Anger
  • Fear
  • Energy from houses you own
  • Energy from your office
  • Energy from the war you were in
  • Negative astral particles

I’m not exactly sure how your parents could be responsible for things such as "energy from houses you own" or "negative astral particles," but heck, why not blame them? This gives a whole new round of ammunition to the "victimization" camp of the self-help industry, as described by Steve Salerno in his book, SHAM.

But that doesn’t let you off the hook, no siree, especially if you are a parent, as you are more than likely mucking up your kid’s aura. Or, as Frances puts it, you are "energetically strangling your child." And if you don’t stop it right now, your kid could grow up to be like this unfortunate executive who was enshrouded by negative attention from his daddy. Or she or he could end up like the hapless woman in this story:

While speaking to a friend, I saw how enshrouding can come from another human being, even a human being who loves us. The friend I was speaking to is in her 30’s. She has an aging mother in her 80’s, in ill health, depressed, and basically immobilized. While not sick yet, my friend felt her own health was going to take a turn for the worst. As she was speaking to me on the telephone, I "saw" her mother covered by a black gelatinous bubble of misery. Then I saw my friend, several feet away. That gelatinous bubble was spreading over my friend’s head. My friend was being enshrouded by her mother’s black aura.

Fortunately we have folks such as Frances, who can help you ward off your parents’ evil influence, while teaching you how to stop muddling up your kiddos’ auras. Frances has a whole line of products and processes to help fix broken auras and clean dirty ones. As her web site explains:

Because of her ability to communicate with nature she knows that each flower on the planet has the intention to help humans. As a result, in order to bring a more natural healing modality to the modern world, she developed a collection of flower essences, Flores de Isis. This line of essences is designed to help repair the human energy field and heal emotional issues This collection and other products are currently available in her store in the elegant Coral Gables shopping district. She will be launching her natural products collection international(ly).

In her tireless research on the problem of aura-mucking-up, Frances has even gone to the dolphins for advice. Yes, Francis telepathically communicates with dolphins, and they have told her many things, including information about why 9/11 happened, and warnings about World War III. But for some reason, the dolphins didn’t want to talk about auras, as Frances explains on a page from the Mensajes de Los Delfines section of her web site.

I think you owe it to yourself, your family, and your collective auras to explore Frances’ web site. Not only will you learn how to heal your own dysfunctions, you will also find out many things about celebrities. For example, you will learn that Madonna is working out karma by adopting that African child (the dolphins told this to Frances), and Mel Gibson has been spewing out those anti-Semitic diatribes because he is possessed. Mel’s misdeeds are, Frances explains, an example of "entity driven behavior."

If you can’t find what you need by perusing her web site, you can send Frances a question by email. If that’s not enough, you can arrange for a phone appointment with her. It will only set you back $90 for 15 minutes, or $175 for a half hour. All appointments must be prepaid by credit card.

Whatever you do, I suggest you act now, before your aura gets overtaken by a black gelatinous bubble of misery, or your kid starts engaging in entity-driven behavior. I realize that for some, it may be too late regarding the latter, but you can always stop it before it gets worse. And it might take nothing more than the right $75 dollar flower remedy or $175 half-hour phone session. Or maybe a Xanax or two.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

is this some kind of joke

Friday, October 19, 2007 8:38:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Anon. Although I am obviously joking *about* it, Frances Fox, the person who sent the email, is perfectly serious. Or at least she has convinced many in her target market that she is serious. She is apparently making quite a good living off of people's gullibility.

Friday, October 19, 2007 10:05:00 AM  
Blogger Thomas Auzinger said...

I may be convinced, after all what's a couple of 100 bucks for a life's happiness. However, I'd like to see the data, pre-dosing and post-dosing aura, control groups, and statistics. Albert Einstein had to fork it over, and so does Frances. Very promising though. I used to blame my parents a lot, but these days I'm just happy if I mess up my kids not twice as much as they did.

Saturday, October 11, 2014 5:08:00 PM  

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