Russian to judgment?

Note: I've made some changes and additions to the "Anastasia" segment since I first published this post.
~CC, 24 September 2009
I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, and I have to own up to my tendency to be entirely too judgmental at times, in the sense that when I read about New-Wagers, I am entirely too willing to judge them for being a bit mental. I know I really need to be more open-minded about this stuff, especially since we're about to enter a new era of humankind and so forth, and some of the nutjobs visionaries I've snarked about could very well be the wayshowers who will lead us into the new era. I've been thinking more deeply* about these issues since I wrote my Russia-themed post the other day. Say what you will about Russia, in recent years there have been tons of remarkable things happening there, spirituality-wise. I mentioned some of these in passing in my previous post, and I've written about one of them extensively in a couple of other posts, but I think they all deserve a closer and more reverent look.**

"I smell dead people..."
Consider, for instance, Pyotr Kuznetzov, a former engineer who until fairly recently was the head of a dynamic though smallish underground movement, and when I say "underground," I mean it literally. Pyotr was able to persuade a group of about thirty-five souls, mostly women and a few children, to abandon their homes and most of their material possessions and, in November of 2007, to move into an underground cave about 600 kilometers (375 miles) southeast of Moscow. Actually it was a tunnel, complete with bedrooms and a ventilation system, that Pyotr designed and constructed under the roots of a tree.

Why would he do such a thing? It was that menacing Apocalypse, you see, which Pyotr informed his disciples was set to occur in May of 2008, at which time the Devil would finally get his due. The alarming thing, according to Pyotr, was that in the months leading up to the big event, the human race was going to be overtaken by waves of cannibalism and a desire to have frequent sex, though he didn't say how or if these two phenomena would intersect. Pyotr told his followers that they'd better get themselves underground to avoid those horrors. And so they did, proclaiming themselves to be the True Russian Orthodox Church. They apparently lived mainly on honey and jam, and were forbidden to watch TV, which probably didn't matter so much, considering that the reception down there might not be so great anyway. They were also forbidden to listen to the radio or handle money, and plastic was verboten as well; Church members believed, as did their leader, that credit cards and the bar codes on food packaging were Satanic. (In regard to credit cards, I have to say that I can almost see their point.)

Interestingly enough, Pyotr, or Father Pyotr, as he was known to his followers, did not join them underground. My first thought when I read this was that he stayed on the surface so he could minister to some of those sex-mad women who would be swarming the streets on their way to the Apocalypse – a ministry that was certainly a noble calling, and someone had to have the courage to do it. But that is just wild speculation on my part, and you know how unreliable I can be. Others have speculated that, being a structural engineer by training, Father Pyotr was aware that a cave built under the roots of a tree might not be the most structurally sound place to be. But Pyotr merely said that God had given him "different tasks." At any rate, the Russian authorities, as well as friends and relatives of the cave dwellers, and even a Russian priest who specialized in the Apocalypse, repeatedly tried to get Pyotr's disciples to come out of the cave. But their efforts were met with gunshots, and the cave people threatened to blow themselves up. Now, we know how that would have ended if this had happened in the United States, but the Russian authorities chose to just let them be, more or less, though they didn't give up in their efforts to persuade them to resurface or, lacking that, at least to let the little children go. For their part, and despite being called "cult members," the cave dwellers considered themselves to be Orthodox Christians who were simply saving themselves from the evils that were to come to all who remained on the surface.

The weather grew colder, but the hardy followers braved the bitter winter. The following spring, however, as the snows began to melt, the roof of the True Russian Orthodox Church people's underground world started to cave in, as local geologists had been warning it would probably do. This frightened some of the cave dwellers enough to convince them to emerge from their shelter. Pyotr was apparently upset that his Church was falling apart (literally) and his vision sullied, and, more importantly, that the Apocalypse was not coming to pass as he had predicted it would. Even the boldest leaders sometimes have moments of agonizing self-doubt and true dark nights of the soul, and Father Pyotr was no exception. It seems he attempted suicide by repeatedly hitting himself on the head with a log after his followers began coming to the surface. Other reports said he was attacked by some female cult members who hit him with a log. What seems clear is that he had an unfortunate run-in with a log, and ended up in the hospital as a result. No one ever said that being a visionary spiritual leader is easy.

The Russian authorities and numerous friends and relatives of the cave people continued in their efforts to get them all to come out. Finally, in mid-May of 2008, the authorities, friends, and relatives got their wish as the remaining members of the True Russian Orthodox Church returned to the surface. Apparently, however, it wasn't because the Church members were disillusioned by the realization that May was halfway over and there were indications that their leader had, after all, been wrong. No, they left because the stench of two of their cave mates who had died a while back – one from severe fasting for Lent, and the other from cancer – finally became unbearable. So bad was the smell that it was even noticeable above ground, so you can imagine how it must have been to the cave dwellers. And so, six months after they had descended, the last keepers of Pyotr's bold vision broke the faith and came out of their hiding place.

As for poor Father Pyotr, he was declared to be suffering from schizophrenia and was held in a psychiatric hospital for treatment. Isn't that often the case with visionary leaders? Sigh...the secular world just does not understand.

Rus' Resurrecting: Putin a new face on worshipWhile it seems that the era of Father Pyotr's True Russian Orthodox Church has passed (although I don't think we should take anything for granted, given the general spiritual milieu in Mother Russia), other mystical movements are alive and well in that strange and vast land of ice and fire. For one group, Russia's former president and current Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin, is The Chosen One. The Putin worshipers perform daily devotions to a "Presidential icon" (or would it now be a "Prime Ministerial icon?") that mysteriously appeared to them one day. They believe that Putin is the reincarnation of both the Apostle Paul and King Solomon.

The "Mother Superior" of the sect is Svetlana Frolova, aka "Mother Photinia," who says that she and her followers didn't choose Putin; God did. When Boris Yeltsin named Putin as his successor, Mother Photinia's soul just exploded with joy. And the rest is history, or heresy, depending upon your point of view.

As for Mother Photinia, she apparently did some prison time for fraud back in the 1990s. But that was then, and this is now. I'm sure that serial scammer health and nutrition crusader Kevin Trudeau could tell you that a little bit of time in the pen is utterly irrelevant when it comes to spreading The Truth.

In the Year of Our Lord, 49...Though my Jewish friends currently observing Rosh Hashanah are welcoming in the year 5770, and it is 2009 according to the Gregorian calendar, for a growing group of devotees in Russia it is only the year 49. That is because their leader, an ex-cop named Sergei Torop, now known as Vissarion, has convinced thousands of people that he is Jesus H. Christ Himself. And for followers of this Jesus of Siberia, this Messiah of the Steppes, time is measured by the life of Vissarion.

He says he realised that God had sent him to Earth to teach mankind about the evils of war and the havoc we were wreaking on the environment.
With Christmas abolished his followers mark the day of his first sermon on August 18 as their special feast day.
Time in the community is measured by Vissarion’s life and so as he is 48 years old his Church is now living in year 49.
His followers, who have given up their lives to follow him, are strict vegans and are banned from smoking and drinking or handling money.
Around 300 of them live in wooden huts in the village that has grown up around his church and which does not appear on any maps.
Many thousands more have made their homes in the small villages that surround Petropavlovka and survive the vicious Siberian winters so that they can be close to their Messiah.

Hmmm....banned from handling money.... shades of Pater Pyotr?
For Russians to whom Vissarion doesn't appeal, there are many more Jesuses to choose from, as blogger Andy Hume writes on Jewcy.com.
(Is it just me, or does the old woman in the pic above bear a remarkable resemblance to Monty Python's Eric Idle?)

Anastasia: real because thousands say she is
"In general, it is impossible to stop the Ringing Cedars movement, just as it is impossible to stop the sun from rising, as it is impossible to stop the moon from rising. But it's possible to fight the movement, to slander it, to speak badly of it, cast suspicion on it. And perhaps there are some forces that somehow, for some reason, are acting in this way."
~ Vladimir Megré, perpetrator of the Anastasia/Ringing Cedars phenomenon

Finally, when I'm wrong, Dear Ones, I'm not afraid to admit it, and I was wrong, wrong, wrong when I suggested, back in April of 2007, that in order to get the greatest mileage out of his New-Wage scheme, Russian entrepreneur Vladimir Megré should have invented a disembodied or Ascended imaginary friend (a la Abraham-Hicks) rather than a supposedly living one like Anastasia. I speculated that hordes of folks would be traveling to the remote Russian forest where Megré's lovely blonde babe is allegedly holed up, in order to see for themselves if she really exists. I imagined that Vlad might eventually have some serious credibility issues because he gave too many details about Anastasia, details that, in theory, could be subject to intense scrutiny. 

Well, I was wrong, at least regarding my speculation that credibility issues would be in any way deleterious to the Anastasia myth. The truth about Anastasia's existence is this: It. Does. Not. Matter. Whether she literally "exists" or not is completely irrelevant, because the Anastasia movement, originally inspired by Megré's series of books on the flaxen-haired recluse, has torn like a wildfire across Russia, some parts of Europe and, more recently, North America as well. Vlad's made-up gal pal has become not only the basis for a growing sustainable-living movement, but also for a bona fide religion, complete with rituals and practices, such as, in some cases, smearing oneself with mud, to symbolize the sanctity of Mother Earth. Part New-Age, part environmentalist, the Ansastasian movement is kind of like the Findhorn movement (which originated in Scotland), but it seems to be growing much more rapidly. It has even made its mark on Russian politics.

Stateside, devotees in Ashland, Oregon and Mt. Shasta, California have been busily engaged for the past couple of years in setting up an Anastasia-inspired eco-village (or Kin's Domain, in Anastasian parlance). The challenges in the beginning were daunting:

Here in Oregon we are working on a plan to create a Kin’s Domain on several hundred acres of land. The logistical challenges around doing this are extraordinary, but by the grace of Anastasia we will succeed! Some of the biggest challenges seems to be dealing with local and state zoning ordinances, urban growth boundries [sic] and money.

"By the grace of Anastasia"?!? See what I mean about the religion bit?
Logistics aside, nothing can stop a movement whose time has come, and in September of 2007, one of the leaders of the project wrote:

The wave has finally hit Ashland. The hundreth monkey has been realized here. After our meeting last night and the inspiration and information that was downloaded I am now confident that everyone in Ashland / Mt. Shasta will know about Anastasia. Our work has shifted to a new gear now and we can start to focus more energy onto implementing her ideas.

On 15 May, 2008, there came this "breaking news" (all-caps theirs):

THE ANASTASIA ECO-SETTLEMENT PROJECT HAS FOUND ITS HOME IN NORTH AMERICA ON SACRED MOTHERLAND!!! MANY GREAT THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THIS SUCCESS AND TO MANY WHO HAVE SUPPORTED THIS DREAM AND VISION WITH YOUR LOVE FROM NEAR & FAR. SHAMBHALA-SHASTA COMMUNITY HAS TAKEN BACK 466 ACRES OF PRISTINE MOTHERLAND. FREE AND CLEAR. NO DEBT. NO ENCUMBRANCES. NO LIENS. FREE AND CLEAR!!!

In case you're interested in joining the community, here's their Settler Sign-up Form. 

I have to tell you that some things have shifted a bit since I first reported about 'Stasia and Vlad in Spring of 2007. F'rinstance, in my zeal to appeal to the lowest common denominator, I made a big deal out of Anastasia being nude or nearly nude. And, indeed, she was portrayed as a scantily dressed nymphet on the rather cheesy covers of the original English-language editions of the books. Now, however, the nekkid bit is being de-emphasized. And the books have been given more modern-looking, artsy covers, apparently in an effort to appeal to a broader market, make the books look less like either children's books or fantasy novels, and avoid offending the easily offended – although nudity does not seem to be the main offensive factor, judging from the way it was 'splained on the FAQ page of the Ringing Cedars Books web site:

Why did the publisher change the covers?

The first edition covers were not commissioned works. The artist (an entomologist specializing in the study of butterflies) was inspired to produce these images after reading the books in Russian. The publisher—Dr Leonid Sharashkin—selected these images for their authenticity of feeling—especially the artist's obvious reverence for Nature.
Many people judge a book by its cover. Many have judged these to be children's books or fantasy novels. The image of a "white" woman in a short dress was found to be offensive to some nationalities. Major international wholesalers said they would not distribute books with such covers because the "Russian look and feel" suggested a story not necessarily appealing or applicable to Western readers. The list goes on…
In summary, since the books contain such important and valuable information, relevant to readers everywhere in the world, the publisher has released the second revised edition in "new clothes", with the hope that many more people will be able to enjoy these books.

Regarding Ana's alleged nekkidity, even Mt. Shasta Anastasians seem drawn to the more modestly attired "Anastasia in a dress," who looks for all the world like a chaste teenager on her way to the local Renaissance Festival.
But, getting back to the original issue: even though it really doesn't matter (and, many would argue, shouldn't matter) whether or not Anastasia is "real," her existence apparently remains a matter of concern for some. This is so despite the clear implication, in this copy from the Ringing Cedars Press web site, that more than one other person has actually seen her:

She consistently displays the most developed psychic and mental powers including remote viewing and healing, mind reading and seemingly perfect memory. When challenged to solve some of society's most complex social, health and environmental problems, after only a few minutes lying on her back on the ground, with eyes closed and just her fingertips twitching, she has provided answers in such incredible detail, that witnesses have been left flabbergasted.
She says these powers are natural to Mankind and in these books she describes exactly how they may be regained by any one of us.

Granted, the copy doesn't specify exactly who the flabbergasted witnesses are, but I am sure they are very reliable, or they wouldn't be mentioned on the Ringing Cedars Press web site. For those who still might be in doubt, Dr. Leonid Sharaskin, aka "Dr. Leo," Vlad Megré's translator and the founder of Ringing Cedars Press, conducts $300.00 workshops in which, among other things, he discusses the matter of Anastasia's existence:

Session 8. The Return of Anastasia

• This is Dr. Leonid Sharashkin's awe–instilling one–and–a–half–hour–long answer to the question as to whether Anastasia really exists.
• Learn from Leonid's years of scrupulous scholarly research of the Anastasia phenomenon and expand your understanding of who she is well beyond anything you can read in the Ringing Cedars books.

You might be wondering why it takes a whole hour and a half for Dr. Leo to answer a simple question. I wondered the same thing. But maybe it's a far more complicated matter than our puny and limited consciousnesses are able to fathom.
In an article published in 2005 (a few years before the Anastasian eco-villages had caught the fancy of some Russian politicos), Megré attempted to 'splain why Anastasia hadn't proven her existence by, for example, appearing on television. "What TV station would be willing to give her air time?" he asks, by way of explanation. And he answers his own question:

Not one, I can assure you. You can try to speak with the television networks yourselves. Another question: Would you want to watch Anastasia's appearances mixed in with commercials for diapers, orbits, and beer?

Would the networks allow Anastasia to speak if she would say that the products being advertised are harmful to people?

What do you think the reviews of Anastasia's appearance would be like? Judging by the organized persecution that occurs in the press, it is clear what they would be.

Vlad also wrote that after two of the Anastasia books had been written, various female preachers emerged and claimed to be Anastasia. At least one was bad-mouthing him, claiming that Vlad had stolen her thoughts and was now writing books based on her ideas. The nerve of some people. Anyway, if you still harbor doubts of your own about whether or not Anastasia is real, you simply must read Vlad's article, which will erase your doubts entirely.
Or maybe it won't. In fact, I am sorry to tell you that even some passionate fans of the Anastasia books question whether the books are fiction or nonfiction. For example, take a look at this discussion on the Ringing Cedars forum. The person initiating the thread was feeling duped after reading a December 2007 interview in which Megré seemed to be explaining the real inspiration for his Anastasia fantasy.

MEGRE: I used to be a businessman. In general, I'm like that by nature. Then I had the good fortune to meet people like Agafia Lykova, who live in the taiga, far from any cities. Agafia herself was taken by force from her squatter's holding. She became ill. And went back. Where she continues to live peacefully. People like this interested me very much. But I noticed that everyone, including Vasiliy Peskov, wrote about the difficulties of their way of life. I, on the other hand, decided to write about their philosophy. This excited me so much that I gave up my entire business. I sat down for a year and wrote Anastasia.

Another participant had this to say to the disillusioned originator of the thread:

As if she is real or not we will probably never know. Even if it was all made up you need to ask yourself why you would be so upset if it was just a story. Granted no one likes to be told they are reading a true story only to find out later it was all made up. But if for any reason's [sic] it does upset you, you really need to ask yourself why? What was it from the story you needed to be true? Why would you put a story, real or unreal, ahead of yourself?

I would comment on that comment, but I think it pretty much speaks for itself. At any rate, the participants seem to be fairly evenly divided between believing Anastasia is real and thinking she may be a figment of Vlad's imagination. Several, however, say that they don't care either way, because they enjoy the books anyway and believe in the ideals discussed therein.*** It kind of reminds me of the endless arguments among fans of pop singer Clay Aiken before and after he officially came out and admitted he is gay. Before his self-outing, opinions on the fan boards were divided among those who thought he might be gay; those who indignantly insisted he isn't (because he's a good Christian, and besides, on numerous occasions he publicly SAID he's not gay); and those who said they didn't care either way because Clay is such a talented and good person who truly wants to make a difference. After he finally admitted his gayness to People Magazine, fans were divided between those who were outraged and grievously disappointed, and those who said they didn't care either way because Clay is such a talented and good person who truly wants to make a difference. But I digress.

For those who remain curious about Vlad Megré himself, good luck finding anything substantial about his earlier life, of which "little is known," as they say, leading one to wonder if even Vlad himself is ignorant of his past. There are, however, several lengthy "interviews" with Megré in which he expresses his thoughts on the Anastasia phenomenon and on his own troubles with detractors. Actually, these "interviews" are conversations between Megré and one of his admirers, psychotherapist/physical therapist/"Master Executive Coach" Regina Jensen, Ph.D. It appears that all of these exchanges were expressly produced for Ringing Cedars' online publication, The EARTH Newspaper, which means, of course, that they are an unimpeachable source of truth. (If the language sounds a bit stilted and awkward in places, that is no doubt due to the fact that it is a translation; Vlad, we're told, only speaks and reads Russian.)

Among other issues, Vlad and Regina discussed the Big One, Anastasia's existence, in a conversation that took place at a Ringing Cedars conference in Turkey in 2008. You can see how Regina is enabling Vlad's perpetuation of the Anastasia fantasy...er...I mean, how she is helping Vlad clarify his policies regarding Anastasia:

Regina Jensen: Vladimir Nikolayevich, I personally hope that Anastasia does not make herself available to the curious public any more than she already has. Carl Gustav Jung, a celebrated author, analyst and psychologist said a long time ago that "people can die from mass-projection," such as people of great fame who are exposed to the masses of images which others project upon them day and night. While Anastasia, more than anyone on this planet, can protect herself from such onslaughts very well, don't you agree we need not burden her any more than we already have with unnecessary demands?
Vladimir Megre: I don't think she is afraid of these onslaughts, after all, she herself said, "Evil of the world, leave your works, rush to me, try, I am alone before you, conquer for the sake of conquering, everyone fall on me, there will be battles without battles," and so on, and so forth. She is not afraid of this.
As far as "making herself available" goes, I think that it is impossible for her to make herself available to the public more than she already has. Judge for yourself, a person emerges onto the public stage and says, "Look, it's me." He stands before the people, everyone looks at him. "So you've emerged, you're standing here, and now what?" People see some person in front of them, they don't know his thoughts, what his personality is like, what he has on his mind, what he has planned, they see only the body before them! What does this give them? Nothing, of course.
Here in Europe, Canada, America, Russia, the countries of the CIS, the Baltic states, and Israel, so many different people all around the world have begun to understand each other without knowing each other's language only by saying the word "Anastasia." She is not making herself available, she has not become a "goddess" - she has become a friend, simply a friend.
So, how much more can she really make herself available? Come out of the kitchen peeling potatoes? Or emerge in such a way that everything around her is illuminated by her radiant thought? I believe that she has made herself available. And what's more, I believe that she will make herself available to each man, but in the image of the woman he loves. And that will really be a masterful entrance!

One point brought out in another 2008 conversation between Vlad and Dr. Jensen is that in the years since the Anastasia books emerged on the scene and started getting more popular, Vlad has had his share of detractors and people who spread awful rumors about him (including, I suppose, those renegade female preachers mentioned above). As he tells Dr. Jensen:

Negative rumors have been circulating about me for as long as ten years. In all this, the mass media have been exploited in the most active manner. I live in Russia. Once, when I was sitting in my garden beneath an apple tree and working on my next book, a neighbor comes up to me in the garden with a newspaper in his hands and says, "Vladimir, you're sitting here, but the newspaper writes that you live in an Egyptian palace surrounded by Mafia gunmen and that you operate a totalitarian sect, and the readers of your books are going out of their minds."
I didn't have to explain anything to my neighbor, he saw with his own eyes that the newspaper was printing a lie. But after only several days, this same article was reprinted by a number of newspapers, including one Canadian newspaper. The Russian District Court told my lawyers that the newspaper had said nothing insulting, the journalist had simply expressed his opinion, and he had the right to do so. But this journalist had not even met with me. The editor of the Canadian newspaper, after Canadian readers appealed to him, and without the intervention of a court, made public apologies.****
Regarding the sharing of this special material, there seems to be an overt, concerted effort not to permit society to discuss the ideas and suggestions set out in the books regarding modern man's urgent need to improve their way of living. The libelous publications never earnestly discuss the issues raised in the books, but speak in uninformed generalities and degrading terms about me and my readers.

Dr. Jensen and Vlad both go on to say that the criticism is the result of people in power not wanting the rest of us to know the truth. Vlad explains to Dr. Jensen:

... the spreading of all sorts of rumors about me are ultimately futile subterfuges to distract people away from the main issues at hand. Moreover even in the first book I disclosed about myself that I am not a saint, that I drank, smoked, flirted with women, and was involved in business. But now I don't. Yes, the blood of the businessman can still begin to rush, only now it is not like before. I am very proud that, with the help of my daughter and son-in-law, I have been able to set up the production of cedar oil according to Anastasia's technology. And I think there are not many products in the world equal to it.
For a long time I was unable to bring it up to the quality of Anastasia's oil, even though the modern technology of a medicinal compounds plant was used. But it soon became clear that it was impossible to obtain the required quality in the city, and it then became necessary to transfer the production to a village in the taiga 100 km from the city...and it worked out. With regard to Anastasia, she is always with me, in my heart, in my soul.

And for untold numbers of passionate devotees, Anastasia's presence in Vlad's heart and soul, not to mention in the pages of his books, is more than enough. I would say that this is pretty darned impressive for what started out as little more than a middle-aged man's wet dream.

* * * * *

Well, Dear Ones, I hope you've enjoyed our Whirledwind tour of Russian mysticism. I know I have, and I know too that I shouldn't have been so snide in writing about Russia the other day, seeing as how the place is so obviously a center of open-minded, openhearted spirituality. Once again I find myself wading in my shallow pool of snark, my tiny voice all but drowned out by the roar of the waves on the deep and endless ocean of outrageous gullibility passionate belief. And in the wake of this stunning realization, I am left, not for the first time, with but one thought: I've gotta find me a scam.

* "Deep" in the sense of my usual profoundly shallow mulling on these matters.
** Okay, so I managed the "closer" look, but you will, I fear, have to search elsewhere for "more reverent." One out of two ain't bad, though.
*** Regarding the fiction v. nonfiction issue, it's also noteworthy that James Redfield's very clumsily written but wildly successful 1993 spiritual novel, The Celestine Prophecy, was marketed from the beginning as fiction. Redfield never claimed it was anything but fiction. Granted, the cover of the trade edition was kind of cagey, bearing the tag line, "An adventure," rather than "A novel." And the blurb above the title was similarly ambiguous. The fact that the story was framed in nine supposedly profound "insights" about life also may have led many readers to treat it as nonfiction. But the cover blurbs were created by the publisher; Redfield himself was pretty straightforward about Celestine being a work of fiction, albeit fiction with a message. In any case, the New-Agey concepts and principles discovered and discussed by the characters in the novel struck a deep and resonant chord in thousands of readers, and The Celestine Prophecy became a major bestseller, spawning a sequel, numerous auxiliary materials, and hundreds of workshops, study groups, meet-ups, and so on (and even, in 2006, a bad movie). A generation before Redfield, Carlos Castaneda captivated spiritual hipsters and even some academicians with his Don Juan wisdom books, which were originally marketed as nonfiction but later revealed to be mostly fiction – not that it mattered to those who believed Castaneda's books contained profound truths. My point is that the categories of "fiction" and "nonfiction" are all but irrelevant when people are so desperately hungry for what they believe to be Greater Truths.
**** Vlad doesn't specify which Canadian newspaper published the original "lies" about him and subsequently made the apologies, nor does he specify how they apologized, and I can't seem to find anything else on the Internet about it. But I'm sure that Vlad wouldn't lie to us. I suppose that like Anastasia's existence, the bit about the Canadian newspaper is just something we'll have to accept on faith.

* * * * *

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Choose your imaginary friends wisely!

“This is no ‘fairy-tale’,” said the 36-point-type headline in the email I received the other day from my favorite New-Wage spam service.

Well, they sure didn’t have to use 36-point type to convince me, once I saw that the message concerned the blonde Russian wood nymph Anastasia, whom we met last month.

"In 1995, a most extraordinary woman was discovered living in the wild forests of Siberia, Russia," read the email. "Revealed to the Russian speaking world in 1997 by now best selling ‘author’ Vladimir Megre, Anastasia is now 38 years old. She was born and has lived her entire life in the forest."

Okay, so far there was nothing new. I knew the basic story: Failed entrepreneur Vladimir Megre "discovers" a beautiful young wild woman in the woods one day, and ultimately is guided to write a series of books outlining the wisdom about life, the Universe and everything that Nature Girl has taught him. Thousands of people are profoundly moved by the writing, and many quit their jobs as a result of reading the books, choosing to spend their lives writing poetry and trying to change the world. And because of Anastasia countless thousands have discovered a new appreciation for nature, with a resulting desire to help save our fragile planet. It’s just like the late 1960s, except without the bad acid.

I thought I knew the whole story. But this latest email contained a shocker: Anastasia is naked.

She lives naked – in freezing cold conditions! – and has no house or cultivated garden. Wild animals bring her food at her command. Her demonstrated, mind-boggling powers, her profound wisdom and her complete access to "Universal" knowledge, have shocked and astounded the scientific and religious communities, who continue to be amazed by each new revelation, as her messages are delivered in this on going series of books.

How had I overlooked the nakedness part before? I’m always pretty good at reading between the lines, except on those occasions when I’m not. And, granted, I had seen some references here and there about how Anastasia "lives in complete harmony with nature." But in my nearly twenty minutes of intense research for that first blog post, I had never actually uncovered (so to speak) anything about Anastasia being utterly naked. This bares further investigation! I thought. So I went to one of the Anastasia web sites to do a few more minutes of research, and I found this information, along with a gratuitous squirrel shot:

[From the text of Volume 1:]

Anastasia lives in the woods entirely alone. She has no house, wears almost no clothes [italics mine] and doesn’t keep any supplies of food. She is a descendent of people who lived in these parts for centuries and it is like another civilization. Anastasia was born here and is an integral part of Nature.

"And you never went hungry?" I asked. In answer, she clicked her fingers and a squirrel instantly appeared and jumped on her hand. Anastasia brought the head of the squirrel up to her mouth and the squirrel gave her a cedar nut right out of its mouth.

Setting aside for the moment my doubts about the wisdom of eating nuts out of the mouths of wild rodents, I focused my mighty mental powers on the big question: is Anastasia nekkid or just nearly-nekkid? Or was she nearly-nekkid way back in Volume 1, but all-the-way nekkid now because, perhaps, the books aren’t selling as well as Vlad had hoped?

And why isn’t she nekkid on the covers of the English-language versions of the books?

I really can’t answer these questions, and I’ll probably have to rely on some of my faithful readers to do further research. For now, if you want to find out more about Anastasia, you definitely owe it to yourself to check out the Anastasia-related web site I found. The copy was originally rendered in German, but something got lost or at least irretrievably misplaced in translation. Despite the awkward prose, however, I learned some more interesting facts about Anastasia and the books she has inspired.

For example, there’s apparently some subliminal stuff going on with the Anastasia material:

According to Anastasia, special combinations of letters and words are inserted into text, which influence a man beneficially. You can feel these influences while reading it, when your hearing is not disturbed by sounds produced by artificial thinks and mechanisms. Natural sounds like: the singing of birds, the sound of rain, the rustling of leaves in the trees help to produce positive influences.

And don't forget she’s naked! And blonde!

Apparently the books get even more interesting as one progresses through the series. Here’s what our German site says about Book 4, Co-Creation:

This book is exceptional poetic. Anastasia tells about the origin of the universe – of being – of love. She enthusiastically speaks of the appearance of man – of Adam and Eve. But the book reports more than that. Highly interesting narrations of past and future of our earth intertwine each other. Incredible sounds the story of a visit of Anastasia and Vladimir at another planet where strange people live.

Hmmm… a planet where strange people live. I’d sure like to visit a place like that!

As I noted in my earlier blog post about Anastasia, some people have doubted that she actually exists. I believe this is going to be a real problem for Vlad as the books grow in popularity, even though Anastasia herself has reportedly stated, "I exist for those for whom I exist." You'd think that would clear it up once and for all, but some naysayers are never satisfied. The writer on the German web site mulls this problem over but comes to a happy conclusion: "It sounds so incredible but still – what would be if it would be true? It would… not only bring solutions to the people but it would also bring real release."

Indeed. And if you’re still in doubt, consider this:

If Anastasia exists or not can be found quite easily by reading the books: Does your heart start to speak to you or not? No worldy (sic) authority can find the answer to this question – only the reader can tell if Anastasia begins to live in himself or in herself or not.

In other words, Anastasia is kind of like Santa Claus. Except slimmer and cuter, and, of course, blonder and more naked.

And speaking of blonde, I just heard that a movie about Anastasia is in the works, with Emily Procter slated for the starring role.* (Rev and Blair, I bet I have your attention now!)

It is beyond the scope of this blog to determine whether or not Anastasia actually exists, or even whether or not she is naked. I do have a couple of big concerns, however, and for once they don’t have anything to do with me directly. Yes, I can step out of my narcissistic little bubble – for a while, anyway.

First off, even though Anastasia has inspired ecological activism in people the world over, I have real fears for the future of the Siberian woods where she reportedly lives. Hordes of gawking tourists tromping through that pristine wilderness, frantically searching for a naked blonde woman, cannot be good for its fragile ecosystem. I really think Vlad should have taken this into consideration.

My other concern is for Vlad himself and his long-term prospects for success. While the naked-blonde angle is no doubt highly marketable in the short term, the long term could be shaky for several reasons. First of all, Anastasia’s appeal is very much tied in with her physical appearance. But let’s face it; she is not getting any younger, and although at 38 she should be in her prime, sooner or later time is going to take its toll. Furthermore, living unclothed in those bitter Siberian winters can’t be very good for any woman’s skin, no matter how much in harmony with nature she is. And sometimes Russian women don’t age so well anyway. I fear that some fans are going to start raising questions about this. I guess Vlad could get by with convincing folks that Anastasia is privy to all sorts of mystical beauty secrets, that she has a handle on the Law of Attractiveness (maybe she could even could pen a couple of books on Timeless Beauty Secrets)…but sooner or later, skeptics and other literal-minded sorts are going to start having serious doubts.

So what is Vlad going to do when and if her beauty begins to fade, if only in the minds of believers? I suppose he could "discover" that she has a younger sister or a younger friend, or Anastasia herself could have a daughter who grows up to be as beautiful as she, or even more so. Or Vlad could "discover" a whole race of beautiful young naked women of the woods who reproduce by parthenogenesis or something (just to keep hairy male figures out of the picture entirely, and keep the titillation factor up). But all of these possibilities just raise more complications, credibility-wise.

Truth is, Vlad probably made a mistake by giving Anastasia a chronological age or, for that matter, making her a physical being at all.

I am really thinking he should have done his homework, or at least he should have consulted with me and paid me many American dollars to do his homework for him. I would have suggested that he take a cue from the wildly successful Esther and Jerry Hicks, or even JZ Knight. When they invented their imaginary buds – Abraham and Ramtha, respectively – they were pretty careful to avoid anything related to physicality. Sure, JZ gave a ballpark for Ramtha’s age – 35,000 years, give or take a few hundred – but that was about as specific as she got. As for Esther and Jerry, notwithstanding the photo on the cover of their new DVD, they’ve been pretty vague about Abraham’s physical appearance.

As a matter of fact, there are indications that the Hickses regret that now-famous photo, even though it was the Abe Gang’s own choice for two of them to manifest physically for the picture and now for the DVD.** Little could they have predicted the chain of events that unfolded as a result. It seems that Rhonda Byrne saw that photo when it first came out several years ago, and she confused the two simians with the famous "No-Evil" monkeys. True, there were only two monkeys in the Hicks pic, and as everyone knows, the "No-Evil" monkeys are triplets, but Rhonda was never very good with numbers. She immediately made the connection between Abraham and the "No-Evils" – and this, say some insiders, is why Rhonda’s interpretation of the Law Of Attraction focuses on teaching folks to shut their eyes and ears to unpleasant realities such as fat people, sick people, poverty, tsunamis and the like. Esther, Jerry and The Abes insist that such appalling self-absorption is not what their message is about at all. This philosophical misunderstanding is the real reason for the falling-out between Rhonda and the Hickses. Remember, you read it here first.***

Anyway, you can see the pitfalls of getting too specific when it comes to imaginary friends. That’s why I think Vlad Megre may have made a serious tactical error when fabricating Anastasia. Time will tell if his woodsy blonde has real staying power.

But just in case you’re considering going into the channeling, miracle-discovery, or revelation-receiving professions yourself, I’d recommend that you think twice before creating an imaginary friend who has any physical attributes whatsoever. Remember: the less specific you are, the more license you and your "friend" or "friends" have to create your own realities. And in the New-Wage world, the power to create realities equals big bucks. Take it from Esther, Jerry and JZ! And me.

PS ~ Here's where Anastasia made her first appearance on this Whirled.

PPS added September 2009: Vlad's Muse has once again attracted Cosmic Connie's Musings (scroll down to the final item, "Anastasia: real because thousands say she is").

PPPS ~ My fellow Texans should be pleased to know that the Anastasia craze hit Texas some time ago.

* Not really. You cannot believe everything you read on this blog.
** Naturally, this is just a joke. There are no monkeys on Esther and Jerry’s new DVD, although there are over two dozen of them in The Secret. Oh, bad, bad Connie.
*** Unfortunately, these are just more fabrications. There are some days you really can’t trust me, and this seems to be one of them.

Babe in the woods

Today, Dear Ones, I am going to share the stupendous, skirt-lifting news I promised you yesterday. If you thought The Secret was an amazing gift to humanity, the impetus for a permanent shift in consciousness, the harbinger of a wonderful new era in history…well, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

I first learned of the astonishing treasure I am about to share with you when I received an email bearing the subject line: "Thousands quit their jobs after hearing girl’s message." My first thought was, hmmm, Rhonda Byrne isn’t exactly what you’d call a girl, but maybe this is a new marketing ploy.

But I quickly realized this wasn’t about The Secret at all. It was about something far more significant: a series of books from Russia that promise to change my life forever. As I read the message I grew more electrified by the minute:

DON’T MAKE ANY PLANS... WHY ?
Because these electrifying messages will change your life forever!
FOR 10 YEARS THESE BOOKS HAVE BEEN KEPT A SECRET FROM US!
"As I began to read, the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and goose bumps rippled down my arms…" WHAT IF something got you SO EXCITED...
You started dancing around the room and you couldn’t sit still if your life depended on it?
You COULDN’T SLEEP – perhaps for days?
What if I told you about a Series of Books that ...
•Within minutes of starting, countless readers have ordered 3, 5, even 12 copies to send to friends & loved ones?
• After reading, thousands of people have quit their jobs?
• Have sold over 11 million copies in Europe with no advertising except word of mouth? (That’s ELEVEN MILLION!!!)
• Have created a frenzy of excitement among people from all walks of life?
• Have inspired top scientists and military officers to write poetry and paint?
• Are the most stolen books in some overseas bookshops?
Sounds amazing... but... IT’S ALL ABSOLUTELY TRUE !
Can you think of ANY books, in the entire history of humanity, that have had such a response?
Well these ACTUALLY have! And very few English readers have even heard of them ... until NOW.

And so on.

By now I know you’re so excited you’re about to wet those new underpants you bought just for this occasion. I can hear you begging, "Please don’t keep me in suspense any longer, Cosmic Connie."

Well, now. I find that I rather like to be begged.

But never mind that.

I will not keep you waiting any longer, especially since I have no financial stake in teasing you for months and months about this product. So you’re not going to find any hypnotic copy here – no riveting teasers, nothing to make you drool or want to know more, nothing truly mesmerizing. All you're going to see here is the plain truth, laid out for you in black and white. Or bluish-gray and deep bluish-black, if you're reading this onscreen. I really need to change my blog template.

The product that is about to change your life forever is a growing series of books called The Ringing Cedars series. And within these books you will learn absolutely everything you need to know about life, the Universe and everything, as the late Douglas Adams might have put it.

Just listen to what some excited readers have said:

"Basically, these books make all the books that I've read to date look like a complete waste of paper! .... I think that going through life without this knowledge is a waste of time, and not passing it on to children is a crime. I can say with confidence that nothing like these books exists in the world today." ~ Rafal, Australia

"Truth that has not been distorted by dogma or someone’s ego! I might explode from emotion if I read any more! I had a hard time getting myself to just stand still." ~ Ana, Portugal

"After reading this series I have recommended that … [my daughters] … give away all their other reading materials…" ~ John, Melbourne, Australia

"The book is awesome. I can not explain how very little I have read in my life and certainly I’ve NEVER finished one book I started. This book was different and I could not put it down, ever! The truth lies in there for sure and which I believe is why it is selling incredibly all over the world with no advertising at all." ~D, Canada

Another Aussie wrote, "I did not move until I had read every word – actually I lie – every so often, I found myself jumping up and pacing around the room in a sort of excited dance, only to sit down quickly and keep reading. It was quite late when I finished and went to bed."

And one reader described the day that s/he read the first book in the series, Anastasia (pronounced Ah-na-sta–SEE–ya): "That day my life changed forever. I quit my job! Never again will I waste a precious moment doing meaningless work!" (I couldn’t help but notice that this is a few thousand readers short of the number mentioned earlier in the email, but I don’t want to quibble here.)

Okay, so just what are these books, and, more importantly, who wrote them?

The author is Siberian entrepreneur Vladimir Nikolaevich Megre. According to a bio page I found, "Little is known about Vladimir Megre's early background, apart from a few experiences he himself describes in the context of his writings." I like a man of mystery, don’t you? But just wait till you hear about the mysterious babe he met in the woods, Anastasia. She’s the one who is actually the source of the wisdom imparted in the pages of The Ringing Cedar books.

It seems that some time back in 1994, Vladimir met two old geezers on the bank of a river in the the Siberian taiga. These elderly gents clued him in about the amazing properties of the Siberian cedar, which is known in the West as the Siberian pine. Vlad sort of brushed the guys off, but later did some research and found substantiation for their claims. Being an entrepreneur, he knew there was a way he could make some money off of this stuff. So he organized a boat trip, with his personal agenda being to find out more about the famous "ringing cedars" firsthand. At one point he told the crew to go on their way, and he slipped off to the spot where he’d met the two old dudes the previous year, hoping to see them again and maybe cut a deal with them.

Stopping for a break among the fabled Siberian cedar/pines, he broke off a piece of bark to snack on. Turns out the bark had hallucinogenic properties. First he heard a strange ringing in his ears. And then, behold, he beheld a beautiful blonde.

Okay, I just made up the part about the hallucinogenic bark (as far as I know, anyway). The real made-up story is that instead of finding the old guys, Vlad found this lovely young blonde woman who claimed to be their granddaughter. She said her name was Anastasia. Turns out she wanted to change the world, or at least change Siberia. But damned if she was going to venture out of the woods to do it.

"No problem, милая,* I can help you with that," Vlad said. "Have you ever heard of viral marketing?"

All right, I just made that up too. Vlad was initially touched by Anastasia's youth, her blonde-ness, and her soft supple what he first took to be her charmingly naïve worldview. But then as he grew to know her, he found she was much more than a lovely hallucination stemming from too much solitude and way too much vodka a pretty young woman. She had amazing psychic abilities as well as a great deal of knowledge about the world around her. In fact, she knew an awful lot for a nymphette who'd been holed up in the forest all her life.

Vlad really should have been a little more careful. After the gorgeous golden-haired girl had completely gained his trust, she offered him a drink...and the next thing he knew he was waking up naked, alone and in horrendous pain in the bathtub of a seedy hotel in Leningrad, missing a kidney.

Well, that's not quite what happened.

To tell the truth, I am not sure exactly what happened in those woods between Vlad and the blonde. The text, as is so often the case in the New-Wage realm, is not entirely clear.

…Vladimir came face to face with certain psychic abilities of Anastasia’s which defied explanation, even though they were undeniably real to his perception — inexplicably manifesting themselves in a tragic struggle of virtue against vice which unfolded before his very eyes. He was shaken by scenes somehow presented to him from his not-too-distant past, but from a totally new point of view. Now able to look at his own and others’ behaviour more objectively, Vladimir gained a new appreciation of what Anastasia was endeavouring to do, and in an effort to help, he promised to fulfil Anastasia’s request and write a book about his experiences.

Did you get any of that?

What is clear is that this experience, whatever it was, resulted in this series of books. When Vlad got home he tried to share his experience with others and apparently they just looked at him like he was a wacko. But his experience was so profound that he had to do something, and besides, he’d promised the imaginary blonde Anastasia that he’d write that book for her. In fact, she made him quit his job and devote full time to writing the book, though it seems she did this only after he’d failed at a few of his business ventures. He ended up penniless, and his marriage failed, though whether this had anything to do with his wife being unhappy over his Anastasia obsession, I couldn’t tell you. Let’s face it, Vlad was at a low point. And then…and then…well, who says miracles don’t happen when you’re utterly desperate you just put your heart and soul into them?

Then something incredible happened: without any specialised training, Vladimir Megre launched into writing a series of books which in a very short time became extraordinarily popular, selling in the millions, and would be translated into some twenty languages. Each passing day introduced more and more new readers all over the world to these remarkable writings.

The books set forth — in very clear language — profound ideas about the education of children and the importance of communicating with living Nature — ideas ranging from nutrition and health to spirituality and sexual relations. With their practical wisdom on matters of everyday life, the books have become the basis for a number of sociological studies and scholarly papers.

Apparently Vlad had problems finding a publisher at first, because his writing sort of sucked. But over the course of the first few books, his writing improved, under the influence of Anastasia, he says.** Now the books have taken off like wildfire in other parts of the world, and will soon be sweeping the US, I have no doubt.

But I still haven’t really told you what these books are about, have I? Well, maybe this snippet from the Ringing Cedars Series FAQ page will help illuminate the matter.

What are the books about?
About everything!

Are they fiction or non-fiction?
Neither! We invite you to read the Series to form your own opinion on that.

Is she a real person or a (fictitious) heroine of the books?
When asked this question by the author, Anastasia affirmed that she does exist for those for whom she exists. At a later date she pointed out that it was not very practical to doubt the existence of the transmitting radio station when you are listening to this radio's broadcast. For a further discussion of this matter, please see the chapter entitled "Author's message to the readers" in Book 1 and Chapter "Illusory people" in Book 2.

Would you share with me Anastasia's e-mail or ICQ?
As far as we know, she does not use the ICQ. You can e-mail her in Vladimir Megre's care.

So it seems as if Anastasia is pretty much like everything else in the New-Wage world; “she exists for those for whom she exists.”

I keep thinking of Vlad and the blonde, and that makes me think of... you thought I was going to say Neale Donald Walsch and God, didn't you? No, it makes me think of that scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which King Arthur imperiously explains to one of the peasants how he became king:

Arthur: The Lady of the Lake – her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some... farcical aquatic ceremony!
Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!
Man: You can't expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!!
Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut *UP*!
Man: I mean, if I went ’round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
Arthur: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!

But anyway. There’s more good news from Russia with love. Besides these marvelous books, there is also a whole line of Ringing Cedars products. And you too can get in on this amazing enterprise, changing your life and the lives of others by selling cedar to nuts. Or, rather, by selling cedar nuts.

I just know that by now you’re dancing around the room and have already placed an order for two, three, five or twelve copies of each book, as well as dozens of pounds of cedar nuts and a few sets of cedar spoons. I think Anastasia would be proud. And so would the watery tart.

For more Musings about Anastasia, click here, and if you still haven't had enough, fast forward to here (scroll down to the final item, "Anastasia: real because thousands say she is").

* "Sweetie" (at least according to this site).
** Or, perhaps, under the influence of a good editor or ghostwriter?