Hello, dolly!

Well, Dear Ones, I bet you thought I was never going to let up on that James Arthur Ray "Sweatgate" story. And I haven't entirely, of course – the conversation is still alive and kicking on my Whirled – but I felt it was time to share a little bit of positive news. As you may know from reading a couple of my recent pre-Sweatgate posts on this blog, our friend Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale, (who also happens to be one of James Ray's friends and co-stars in The Secret), recently went to Russia to spread the good news to the Russians about the Law Of Attraction. He had scads of adventures and misadventures there, but one really good thing that happened to him was that he discovered an amazing Russian magic doll that has been kept a secret for centuries, until now.

And what better place to find a centuries-old secret than Russia? Russia, as Joe 'splains it, is "a land of wisdom and mystery, magic and miracles. It holds more secrets than you or I could ever imagine." I happen to agree with him on that point, and I even wrote a scholarly, meticulously researched piece about the mystical wonders of Russia. Actually, though, Joe says that his magic dolly may not have originated in Russia. He says it may very well have Buddhist roots, and since Joe is the Buddha of the Internet and all, I imagine he knows what he's talking about when it comes to anything about Buddhism. (Well, except when he doesn't.)

Joe's first wrote about his little doll, called Hochun or Hoshun (from the Russian verb, "I want") on his blog shortly after he got back from Russia. Hoshun can help make all of your wishes come true. Okay, the truth is that a single Hoshun can only help make one wish come true, and if you want help on another wish you have to buy another doll, and then if you have yet another wish you have to buy yet another doll, and so forth. [Note: See November 4 update below. ~CC] But that's no problem because Joe, who is always looking out for your well-being, has made special arrangements to help bring the magic of Hoshun into your life. He has teamed up with his buddy Pat O'Bryan to sell you as many dolls as you could possibly want. (If you follow the link to the magic dolly site, you have to watch the video. You just have to.) 

But wait, there's more! You can, according to the PPS on the site, also buy "Hoshun Secret Clothing," coffee mugs, and more, "at a secret site you'll get when you order Hoshun." Hoshun's image is apparently so powerful that it works whether it's in the form of a dolly or a two-dimensional image on a mug or a piece of Secret Clothing.

Now, you may be wondering why Joe teamed up with Pat O'Bryan for something like this. After all, as Joe puts it, "Pat tends to be skeptical. He doesn't swallow woo-woo or spirit guides easily, if at all." And I'm pretty sure that's true, since Pat is normally a purveyor of strictly scientifical products such as (yes, you knew I was going to mention this, didn't you?) the amazing Psychic Demand method. But as it turns out, there is no contradiction between the magical aspect of Hoshun and Pat's hard-nosed skepticism. Pat, being the science guy he is, "saw the value of Hoshun as a 'brain tool' to install your intention in your mind." I know that may be a little too complex and technical to most of you, as it was to me, but you just have to trust these guys because they know how your mind works.

But how does Hoshun work? Well, again, it's pretty technical, but I will try to explain it in plain English. Hoshun doesn't have any pupils in his eyes when you first buy him, which means he is blind. But he is longing to see, and he'll do anything for the person who helps him see. That's you. You draw one of his pupils in – but just one, mind you – and you tell him your wish. Then with that one functional eyeball Hoshun watches you as you work to make your wish come true.

You also get some "breakthrough audios" with your Hoshun, created especially for you by Joe and Pat to support you in your efforts. I'm thinking it might behoove you to watch that video of Joe on the magic dolly site again, and there might be added benefits if you let Hoshun watch the video with you. Of course, with just one eye Hoshun's depth perception might be compromised, but it shouldn't pose much of a problem since there isn't all that much depth to perceive, if you catch my meaning.

Once Hoshun has his working eyeball and you have begun taking inspired action on your wish or goal, you're supposed to take your dolly with you as a constant reminder of that goal or wish. He will serve as an inspiration, silently cheering you on. Joe says Hoshun is working on a "psychological level, a mystical level, an energy level, and a metaphysical level." But I can't help thinking of that creepy wind-up doll in the commercial for the prescription antidepressant Pristiq. The depressed woman takes Pristiq and gets better, but apparently she still has to take the doll with her everywhere, even on family picnics. I find that pretty disturbing. (Here's the link, in case you haven't seen it. And if you're getting a bit of deja vu here, it's because I already discussed the Russian dolly a little bit in the discussion following one of my previous blog posts, and in my comment I also mentioned the Pristiq doll.)

So on you go about your business, working to reach your goal, while Hoshun peers at you with his single eyeball. I suppose it's up to you if you want to let him watch you shower or perform other private activities. If that's how you get your thrills, go for it. Once your wish is granted or your goal is reached, you draw in Hoshun's other pupil so he can really see your triumph. Then you think up another wish, buy another Hoshun (or print another picture of your Hoshun dolly, as the case may be), do the pupil-drawing ritual, listen to the audios, work on your wish by taking inspired action, and so on. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I am not sure what you are supposed to do with your first Hoshun once you bring another one into your home, or how you handle it if the Hoshuns get jealous of each other and start secretly plotting to cancel out each other's work on your behalf. Maybe Joe and Pat could sell a magic Hoshun harmonizer to help all of your Hoshuns work in concert for you.

Now, I know you may be thinking, "Gee, Cosmic Connie, this sounds pretty good, but it's unproven technology. Does this magic dolly really work?" I'm glad you asked. Joe says it does work, and he 'splains why:

Here are three reasons this secret genie works:
1. For one thing, just using him to help you be clear about what you want was eye-opening. He forced me to be clear. This alone is priceless. As you know, you can't have what you can't articulate.
2. For another, having Hoshun sitting near me was a great mental trigger. He constantly reminded me of my intention, or wish. I knew this was working on my unconscious mind. I also knew this was sending my wish into the 'well of the universe'. As you know, being reminded of your intention is how you get your hidden powers to attract it to you.
3. Finally, even if you are so skeptical that you think a "secret genie" is nonsense, then at least consider the power of the placebo. Studies prove that belief in a pill can help cure any disease. Think about that. There are centuries of built-up belief in this secret Russian wish maker. Even if you don't actually buy it right now, the hundreds of thousands of people who have believed in it have infused it with the power of a diety [sic].

Wow. That last item contains an absolutely amazing explanation of how the placebo effect works. Who knew?

I'm sure that by now you're almost convinced to buy at least one of Joe and Pat's dolls. But you might still be wondering, "How much of an investment am I going to have to make?" Once again, here's Joe:

When you consider that this secret genie will do anything you want in order to get his eyesight, he's probably worth thousands of dollars to you.
After all, anything that can help you attract what you want is clearly worth a lot of money, right?
How much?
I think we should sell Hoshun for $997.
But considering most people are worried about the economy right now -- I think they should get Hoshun to fix it -- we decided to offer you Hoshun for a very low, fair price.
You can have a Hoshun of your very own for only $39.99.
Considering this is like having a genie to do your bidding, I think the price is a steal.
After all, what's a secret magic genie worth?

"What's a secret magic genie worth?" asks Josef. I realize his question might be rhetorical, but I am thinking that maybe we should try to answer it anyway. Perhaps Joe's buddy James Arthur Ray could shed some light on that one.
If you follow the link on Joe and Pat's site, you can get your Hoshun magic right away via download.
 
I suspect that even though I have taken the time to patiently explain how the magic Russian dolly works, some of you may still be skeptics. In fact a friend of mine, upon hearing about Joe's newest scheme, wrote, "Just when I think he couldn't surprise me any more, he pulls something else out of his ass."
Little did he realize that where Mr. Fire is concerned, that may be more than just a figure of speech. But maybe we'll save that one for another time.

Update, 4 November: Although my contributors and I have kept this story (such as it is) pretty well updated via discussions in the "Comments" section, I'm bringing the highlights up to the front page.

The most important point, in case it isn't obvious from all of the discussions whirling around the Net (and here on my Whirled, for that matter) is that the Hoshun dolly picture that Joe and Pat are selling is not the actual Hochun doll that Joe says he was given by a Russian fan. (And apparently the person who gave it to him was indeed a fan of his, but by presenting the Hochun dolls to him she was also earnestly seeking a business partnership with Joe. At least that's what the linked message in the previous sentence would indicate. I'll have an update on that as verifiable information comes to me.) In any case, what Joe and Pat are selling is not the doll but a two-dimensional image of the Hochun figure. Moreover, at some point between the time I first wrote this blog post and now – one follower tells me it was the day after my post was published – Joe and Pat changed their offer, so your forty bucks will now give you the right to a "lifetime supply" (that is, unlimited printouts) of your wish-dolly figure. What a bargain, huh?

Yet even with this lifetime bargain addition, there has been a flurry of criticism about the dolly, prompting Joe and Pat to take corrective marketing action via emails and Tweets, including rare backup from Joe's sweetie, Nerissa (here and here, so far). There's even another blog post from Joe himself, defending the idea behind Hoshun; click here for that post. I know Joe's Superman defense will convince you beyond a doubt that the Hoshun scheme is indeed profoundly scientifical.

Finally, there is the issue that more than one person has commented on, which is that Joe and Pat are spelling the name of their dolly, "Hoshun." Some have speculated that this is merely a branding effort, while some think it's a short-term memory problem on Joe's part, and others think it could be a calculated attempt to avoid sticky issues with the Russian makers of the Hochun doll. In any case...well, behold the power of words and their deeper meanings. Is the operative syllable here, "shun?" Judging from the fact that there has been such an outcry against this scheme, and that even some of Joe's friends and admirers (e.g., Mr2020) think it is absurd, maybe words do carry more power than we think.

On the other hand, there's that first syllable...

PS added 13 November: Mr. Fire has discovered yet another money attractor, this time in Poland. And this one manages to be both idiotic and potentially offensive. Here's an analysis of the scheme from a new blog called MrFire'sPyre.

Russian to judgment?

Note: I've made some changes and additions to the "Anastasia" segment since I first published this post.
~CC, 24 September 2009
I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately, and I have to own up to my tendency to be entirely too judgmental at times, in the sense that when I read about New-Wagers, I am entirely too willing to judge them for being a bit mental. I know I really need to be more open-minded about this stuff, especially since we're about to enter a new era of humankind and so forth, and some of the nutjobs visionaries I've snarked about could very well be the wayshowers who will lead us into the new era. I've been thinking more deeply* about these issues since I wrote my Russia-themed post the other day. Say what you will about Russia, in recent years there have been tons of remarkable things happening there, spirituality-wise. I mentioned some of these in passing in my previous post, and I've written about one of them extensively in a couple of other posts, but I think they all deserve a closer and more reverent look.**

"I smell dead people..."
Consider, for instance, Pyotr Kuznetzov, a former engineer who until fairly recently was the head of a dynamic though smallish underground movement, and when I say "underground," I mean it literally. Pyotr was able to persuade a group of about thirty-five souls, mostly women and a few children, to abandon their homes and most of their material possessions and, in November of 2007, to move into an underground cave about 600 kilometers (375 miles) southeast of Moscow. Actually it was a tunnel, complete with bedrooms and a ventilation system, that Pyotr designed and constructed under the roots of a tree.

Why would he do such a thing? It was that menacing Apocalypse, you see, which Pyotr informed his disciples was set to occur in May of 2008, at which time the Devil would finally get his due. The alarming thing, according to Pyotr, was that in the months leading up to the big event, the human race was going to be overtaken by waves of cannibalism and a desire to have frequent sex, though he didn't say how or if these two phenomena would intersect. Pyotr told his followers that they'd better get themselves underground to avoid those horrors. And so they did, proclaiming themselves to be the True Russian Orthodox Church. They apparently lived mainly on honey and jam, and were forbidden to watch TV, which probably didn't matter so much, considering that the reception down there might not be so great anyway. They were also forbidden to listen to the radio or handle money, and plastic was verboten as well; Church members believed, as did their leader, that credit cards and the bar codes on food packaging were Satanic. (In regard to credit cards, I have to say that I can almost see their point.)

Interestingly enough, Pyotr, or Father Pyotr, as he was known to his followers, did not join them underground. My first thought when I read this was that he stayed on the surface so he could minister to some of those sex-mad women who would be swarming the streets on their way to the Apocalypse – a ministry that was certainly a noble calling, and someone had to have the courage to do it. But that is just wild speculation on my part, and you know how unreliable I can be. Others have speculated that, being a structural engineer by training, Father Pyotr was aware that a cave built under the roots of a tree might not be the most structurally sound place to be. But Pyotr merely said that God had given him "different tasks." At any rate, the Russian authorities, as well as friends and relatives of the cave dwellers, and even a Russian priest who specialized in the Apocalypse, repeatedly tried to get Pyotr's disciples to come out of the cave. But their efforts were met with gunshots, and the cave people threatened to blow themselves up. Now, we know how that would have ended if this had happened in the United States, but the Russian authorities chose to just let them be, more or less, though they didn't give up in their efforts to persuade them to resurface or, lacking that, at least to let the little children go. For their part, and despite being called "cult members," the cave dwellers considered themselves to be Orthodox Christians who were simply saving themselves from the evils that were to come to all who remained on the surface.

The weather grew colder, but the hardy followers braved the bitter winter. The following spring, however, as the snows began to melt, the roof of the True Russian Orthodox Church people's underground world started to cave in, as local geologists had been warning it would probably do. This frightened some of the cave dwellers enough to convince them to emerge from their shelter. Pyotr was apparently upset that his Church was falling apart (literally) and his vision sullied, and, more importantly, that the Apocalypse was not coming to pass as he had predicted it would. Even the boldest leaders sometimes have moments of agonizing self-doubt and true dark nights of the soul, and Father Pyotr was no exception. It seems he attempted suicide by repeatedly hitting himself on the head with a log after his followers began coming to the surface. Other reports said he was attacked by some female cult members who hit him with a log. What seems clear is that he had an unfortunate run-in with a log, and ended up in the hospital as a result. No one ever said that being a visionary spiritual leader is easy.

The Russian authorities and numerous friends and relatives of the cave people continued in their efforts to get them all to come out. Finally, in mid-May of 2008, the authorities, friends, and relatives got their wish as the remaining members of the True Russian Orthodox Church returned to the surface. Apparently, however, it wasn't because the Church members were disillusioned by the realization that May was halfway over and there were indications that their leader had, after all, been wrong. No, they left because the stench of two of their cave mates who had died a while back – one from severe fasting for Lent, and the other from cancer – finally became unbearable. So bad was the smell that it was even noticeable above ground, so you can imagine how it must have been to the cave dwellers. And so, six months after they had descended, the last keepers of Pyotr's bold vision broke the faith and came out of their hiding place.

As for poor Father Pyotr, he was declared to be suffering from schizophrenia and was held in a psychiatric hospital for treatment. Isn't that often the case with visionary leaders? Sigh...the secular world just does not understand.

Rus' Resurrecting: Putin a new face on worshipWhile it seems that the era of Father Pyotr's True Russian Orthodox Church has passed (although I don't think we should take anything for granted, given the general spiritual milieu in Mother Russia), other mystical movements are alive and well in that strange and vast land of ice and fire. For one group, Russia's former president and current Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin, is The Chosen One. The Putin worshipers perform daily devotions to a "Presidential icon" (or would it now be a "Prime Ministerial icon?") that mysteriously appeared to them one day. They believe that Putin is the reincarnation of both the Apostle Paul and King Solomon.

The "Mother Superior" of the sect is Svetlana Frolova, aka "Mother Photinia," who says that she and her followers didn't choose Putin; God did. When Boris Yeltsin named Putin as his successor, Mother Photinia's soul just exploded with joy. And the rest is history, or heresy, depending upon your point of view.

As for Mother Photinia, she apparently did some prison time for fraud back in the 1990s. But that was then, and this is now. I'm sure that serial scammer health and nutrition crusader Kevin Trudeau could tell you that a little bit of time in the pen is utterly irrelevant when it comes to spreading The Truth.

In the Year of Our Lord, 49...Though my Jewish friends currently observing Rosh Hashanah are welcoming in the year 5770, and it is 2009 according to the Gregorian calendar, for a growing group of devotees in Russia it is only the year 49. That is because their leader, an ex-cop named Sergei Torop, now known as Vissarion, has convinced thousands of people that he is Jesus H. Christ Himself. And for followers of this Jesus of Siberia, this Messiah of the Steppes, time is measured by the life of Vissarion.

He says he realised that God had sent him to Earth to teach mankind about the evils of war and the havoc we were wreaking on the environment.
With Christmas abolished his followers mark the day of his first sermon on August 18 as their special feast day.
Time in the community is measured by Vissarion’s life and so as he is 48 years old his Church is now living in year 49.
His followers, who have given up their lives to follow him, are strict vegans and are banned from smoking and drinking or handling money.
Around 300 of them live in wooden huts in the village that has grown up around his church and which does not appear on any maps.
Many thousands more have made their homes in the small villages that surround Petropavlovka and survive the vicious Siberian winters so that they can be close to their Messiah.

Hmmm....banned from handling money.... shades of Pater Pyotr?
For Russians to whom Vissarion doesn't appeal, there are many more Jesuses to choose from, as blogger Andy Hume writes on Jewcy.com.
(Is it just me, or does the old woman in the pic above bear a remarkable resemblance to Monty Python's Eric Idle?)

Anastasia: real because thousands say she is
"In general, it is impossible to stop the Ringing Cedars movement, just as it is impossible to stop the sun from rising, as it is impossible to stop the moon from rising. But it's possible to fight the movement, to slander it, to speak badly of it, cast suspicion on it. And perhaps there are some forces that somehow, for some reason, are acting in this way."
~ Vladimir Megré, perpetrator of the Anastasia/Ringing Cedars phenomenon

Finally, when I'm wrong, Dear Ones, I'm not afraid to admit it, and I was wrong, wrong, wrong when I suggested, back in April of 2007, that in order to get the greatest mileage out of his New-Wage scheme, Russian entrepreneur Vladimir Megré should have invented a disembodied or Ascended imaginary friend (a la Abraham-Hicks) rather than a supposedly living one like Anastasia. I speculated that hordes of folks would be traveling to the remote Russian forest where Megré's lovely blonde babe is allegedly holed up, in order to see for themselves if she really exists. I imagined that Vlad might eventually have some serious credibility issues because he gave too many details about Anastasia, details that, in theory, could be subject to intense scrutiny. 

Well, I was wrong, at least regarding my speculation that credibility issues would be in any way deleterious to the Anastasia myth. The truth about Anastasia's existence is this: It. Does. Not. Matter. Whether she literally "exists" or not is completely irrelevant, because the Anastasia movement, originally inspired by Megré's series of books on the flaxen-haired recluse, has torn like a wildfire across Russia, some parts of Europe and, more recently, North America as well. Vlad's made-up gal pal has become not only the basis for a growing sustainable-living movement, but also for a bona fide religion, complete with rituals and practices, such as, in some cases, smearing oneself with mud, to symbolize the sanctity of Mother Earth. Part New-Age, part environmentalist, the Ansastasian movement is kind of like the Findhorn movement (which originated in Scotland), but it seems to be growing much more rapidly. It has even made its mark on Russian politics.

Stateside, devotees in Ashland, Oregon and Mt. Shasta, California have been busily engaged for the past couple of years in setting up an Anastasia-inspired eco-village (or Kin's Domain, in Anastasian parlance). The challenges in the beginning were daunting:

Here in Oregon we are working on a plan to create a Kin’s Domain on several hundred acres of land. The logistical challenges around doing this are extraordinary, but by the grace of Anastasia we will succeed! Some of the biggest challenges seems to be dealing with local and state zoning ordinances, urban growth boundries [sic] and money.

"By the grace of Anastasia"?!? See what I mean about the religion bit?
Logistics aside, nothing can stop a movement whose time has come, and in September of 2007, one of the leaders of the project wrote:

The wave has finally hit Ashland. The hundreth monkey has been realized here. After our meeting last night and the inspiration and information that was downloaded I am now confident that everyone in Ashland / Mt. Shasta will know about Anastasia. Our work has shifted to a new gear now and we can start to focus more energy onto implementing her ideas.

On 15 May, 2008, there came this "breaking news" (all-caps theirs):

THE ANASTASIA ECO-SETTLEMENT PROJECT HAS FOUND ITS HOME IN NORTH AMERICA ON SACRED MOTHERLAND!!! MANY GREAT THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THIS SUCCESS AND TO MANY WHO HAVE SUPPORTED THIS DREAM AND VISION WITH YOUR LOVE FROM NEAR & FAR. SHAMBHALA-SHASTA COMMUNITY HAS TAKEN BACK 466 ACRES OF PRISTINE MOTHERLAND. FREE AND CLEAR. NO DEBT. NO ENCUMBRANCES. NO LIENS. FREE AND CLEAR!!!

In case you're interested in joining the community, here's their Settler Sign-up Form. 

I have to tell you that some things have shifted a bit since I first reported about 'Stasia and Vlad in Spring of 2007. F'rinstance, in my zeal to appeal to the lowest common denominator, I made a big deal out of Anastasia being nude or nearly nude. And, indeed, she was portrayed as a scantily dressed nymphet on the rather cheesy covers of the original English-language editions of the books. Now, however, the nekkid bit is being de-emphasized. And the books have been given more modern-looking, artsy covers, apparently in an effort to appeal to a broader market, make the books look less like either children's books or fantasy novels, and avoid offending the easily offended – although nudity does not seem to be the main offensive factor, judging from the way it was 'splained on the FAQ page of the Ringing Cedars Books web site:

Why did the publisher change the covers?

The first edition covers were not commissioned works. The artist (an entomologist specializing in the study of butterflies) was inspired to produce these images after reading the books in Russian. The publisher—Dr Leonid Sharashkin—selected these images for their authenticity of feeling—especially the artist's obvious reverence for Nature.
Many people judge a book by its cover. Many have judged these to be children's books or fantasy novels. The image of a "white" woman in a short dress was found to be offensive to some nationalities. Major international wholesalers said they would not distribute books with such covers because the "Russian look and feel" suggested a story not necessarily appealing or applicable to Western readers. The list goes on…
In summary, since the books contain such important and valuable information, relevant to readers everywhere in the world, the publisher has released the second revised edition in "new clothes", with the hope that many more people will be able to enjoy these books.

Regarding Ana's alleged nekkidity, even Mt. Shasta Anastasians seem drawn to the more modestly attired "Anastasia in a dress," who looks for all the world like a chaste teenager on her way to the local Renaissance Festival.
But, getting back to the original issue: even though it really doesn't matter (and, many would argue, shouldn't matter) whether or not Anastasia is "real," her existence apparently remains a matter of concern for some. This is so despite the clear implication, in this copy from the Ringing Cedars Press web site, that more than one other person has actually seen her:

She consistently displays the most developed psychic and mental powers including remote viewing and healing, mind reading and seemingly perfect memory. When challenged to solve some of society's most complex social, health and environmental problems, after only a few minutes lying on her back on the ground, with eyes closed and just her fingertips twitching, she has provided answers in such incredible detail, that witnesses have been left flabbergasted.
She says these powers are natural to Mankind and in these books she describes exactly how they may be regained by any one of us.

Granted, the copy doesn't specify exactly who the flabbergasted witnesses are, but I am sure they are very reliable, or they wouldn't be mentioned on the Ringing Cedars Press web site. For those who still might be in doubt, Dr. Leonid Sharaskin, aka "Dr. Leo," Vlad Megré's translator and the founder of Ringing Cedars Press, conducts $300.00 workshops in which, among other things, he discusses the matter of Anastasia's existence:

Session 8. The Return of Anastasia

• This is Dr. Leonid Sharashkin's awe–instilling one–and–a–half–hour–long answer to the question as to whether Anastasia really exists.
• Learn from Leonid's years of scrupulous scholarly research of the Anastasia phenomenon and expand your understanding of who she is well beyond anything you can read in the Ringing Cedars books.

You might be wondering why it takes a whole hour and a half for Dr. Leo to answer a simple question. I wondered the same thing. But maybe it's a far more complicated matter than our puny and limited consciousnesses are able to fathom.
In an article published in 2005 (a few years before the Anastasian eco-villages had caught the fancy of some Russian politicos), Megré attempted to 'splain why Anastasia hadn't proven her existence by, for example, appearing on television. "What TV station would be willing to give her air time?" he asks, by way of explanation. And he answers his own question:

Not one, I can assure you. You can try to speak with the television networks yourselves. Another question: Would you want to watch Anastasia's appearances mixed in with commercials for diapers, orbits, and beer?

Would the networks allow Anastasia to speak if she would say that the products being advertised are harmful to people?

What do you think the reviews of Anastasia's appearance would be like? Judging by the organized persecution that occurs in the press, it is clear what they would be.

Vlad also wrote that after two of the Anastasia books had been written, various female preachers emerged and claimed to be Anastasia. At least one was bad-mouthing him, claiming that Vlad had stolen her thoughts and was now writing books based on her ideas. The nerve of some people. Anyway, if you still harbor doubts of your own about whether or not Anastasia is real, you simply must read Vlad's article, which will erase your doubts entirely.
Or maybe it won't. In fact, I am sorry to tell you that even some passionate fans of the Anastasia books question whether the books are fiction or nonfiction. For example, take a look at this discussion on the Ringing Cedars forum. The person initiating the thread was feeling duped after reading a December 2007 interview in which Megré seemed to be explaining the real inspiration for his Anastasia fantasy.

MEGRE: I used to be a businessman. In general, I'm like that by nature. Then I had the good fortune to meet people like Agafia Lykova, who live in the taiga, far from any cities. Agafia herself was taken by force from her squatter's holding. She became ill. And went back. Where she continues to live peacefully. People like this interested me very much. But I noticed that everyone, including Vasiliy Peskov, wrote about the difficulties of their way of life. I, on the other hand, decided to write about their philosophy. This excited me so much that I gave up my entire business. I sat down for a year and wrote Anastasia.

Another participant had this to say to the disillusioned originator of the thread:

As if she is real or not we will probably never know. Even if it was all made up you need to ask yourself why you would be so upset if it was just a story. Granted no one likes to be told they are reading a true story only to find out later it was all made up. But if for any reason's [sic] it does upset you, you really need to ask yourself why? What was it from the story you needed to be true? Why would you put a story, real or unreal, ahead of yourself?

I would comment on that comment, but I think it pretty much speaks for itself. At any rate, the participants seem to be fairly evenly divided between believing Anastasia is real and thinking she may be a figment of Vlad's imagination. Several, however, say that they don't care either way, because they enjoy the books anyway and believe in the ideals discussed therein.*** It kind of reminds me of the endless arguments among fans of pop singer Clay Aiken before and after he officially came out and admitted he is gay. Before his self-outing, opinions on the fan boards were divided among those who thought he might be gay; those who indignantly insisted he isn't (because he's a good Christian, and besides, on numerous occasions he publicly SAID he's not gay); and those who said they didn't care either way because Clay is such a talented and good person who truly wants to make a difference. After he finally admitted his gayness to People Magazine, fans were divided between those who were outraged and grievously disappointed, and those who said they didn't care either way because Clay is such a talented and good person who truly wants to make a difference. But I digress.

For those who remain curious about Vlad Megré himself, good luck finding anything substantial about his earlier life, of which "little is known," as they say, leading one to wonder if even Vlad himself is ignorant of his past. There are, however, several lengthy "interviews" with Megré in which he expresses his thoughts on the Anastasia phenomenon and on his own troubles with detractors. Actually, these "interviews" are conversations between Megré and one of his admirers, psychotherapist/physical therapist/"Master Executive Coach" Regina Jensen, Ph.D. It appears that all of these exchanges were expressly produced for Ringing Cedars' online publication, The EARTH Newspaper, which means, of course, that they are an unimpeachable source of truth. (If the language sounds a bit stilted and awkward in places, that is no doubt due to the fact that it is a translation; Vlad, we're told, only speaks and reads Russian.)

Among other issues, Vlad and Regina discussed the Big One, Anastasia's existence, in a conversation that took place at a Ringing Cedars conference in Turkey in 2008. You can see how Regina is enabling Vlad's perpetuation of the Anastasia fantasy...er...I mean, how she is helping Vlad clarify his policies regarding Anastasia:

Regina Jensen: Vladimir Nikolayevich, I personally hope that Anastasia does not make herself available to the curious public any more than she already has. Carl Gustav Jung, a celebrated author, analyst and psychologist said a long time ago that "people can die from mass-projection," such as people of great fame who are exposed to the masses of images which others project upon them day and night. While Anastasia, more than anyone on this planet, can protect herself from such onslaughts very well, don't you agree we need not burden her any more than we already have with unnecessary demands?
Vladimir Megre: I don't think she is afraid of these onslaughts, after all, she herself said, "Evil of the world, leave your works, rush to me, try, I am alone before you, conquer for the sake of conquering, everyone fall on me, there will be battles without battles," and so on, and so forth. She is not afraid of this.
As far as "making herself available" goes, I think that it is impossible for her to make herself available to the public more than she already has. Judge for yourself, a person emerges onto the public stage and says, "Look, it's me." He stands before the people, everyone looks at him. "So you've emerged, you're standing here, and now what?" People see some person in front of them, they don't know his thoughts, what his personality is like, what he has on his mind, what he has planned, they see only the body before them! What does this give them? Nothing, of course.
Here in Europe, Canada, America, Russia, the countries of the CIS, the Baltic states, and Israel, so many different people all around the world have begun to understand each other without knowing each other's language only by saying the word "Anastasia." She is not making herself available, she has not become a "goddess" - she has become a friend, simply a friend.
So, how much more can she really make herself available? Come out of the kitchen peeling potatoes? Or emerge in such a way that everything around her is illuminated by her radiant thought? I believe that she has made herself available. And what's more, I believe that she will make herself available to each man, but in the image of the woman he loves. And that will really be a masterful entrance!

One point brought out in another 2008 conversation between Vlad and Dr. Jensen is that in the years since the Anastasia books emerged on the scene and started getting more popular, Vlad has had his share of detractors and people who spread awful rumors about him (including, I suppose, those renegade female preachers mentioned above). As he tells Dr. Jensen:

Negative rumors have been circulating about me for as long as ten years. In all this, the mass media have been exploited in the most active manner. I live in Russia. Once, when I was sitting in my garden beneath an apple tree and working on my next book, a neighbor comes up to me in the garden with a newspaper in his hands and says, "Vladimir, you're sitting here, but the newspaper writes that you live in an Egyptian palace surrounded by Mafia gunmen and that you operate a totalitarian sect, and the readers of your books are going out of their minds."
I didn't have to explain anything to my neighbor, he saw with his own eyes that the newspaper was printing a lie. But after only several days, this same article was reprinted by a number of newspapers, including one Canadian newspaper. The Russian District Court told my lawyers that the newspaper had said nothing insulting, the journalist had simply expressed his opinion, and he had the right to do so. But this journalist had not even met with me. The editor of the Canadian newspaper, after Canadian readers appealed to him, and without the intervention of a court, made public apologies.****
Regarding the sharing of this special material, there seems to be an overt, concerted effort not to permit society to discuss the ideas and suggestions set out in the books regarding modern man's urgent need to improve their way of living. The libelous publications never earnestly discuss the issues raised in the books, but speak in uninformed generalities and degrading terms about me and my readers.

Dr. Jensen and Vlad both go on to say that the criticism is the result of people in power not wanting the rest of us to know the truth. Vlad explains to Dr. Jensen:

... the spreading of all sorts of rumors about me are ultimately futile subterfuges to distract people away from the main issues at hand. Moreover even in the first book I disclosed about myself that I am not a saint, that I drank, smoked, flirted with women, and was involved in business. But now I don't. Yes, the blood of the businessman can still begin to rush, only now it is not like before. I am very proud that, with the help of my daughter and son-in-law, I have been able to set up the production of cedar oil according to Anastasia's technology. And I think there are not many products in the world equal to it.
For a long time I was unable to bring it up to the quality of Anastasia's oil, even though the modern technology of a medicinal compounds plant was used. But it soon became clear that it was impossible to obtain the required quality in the city, and it then became necessary to transfer the production to a village in the taiga 100 km from the city...and it worked out. With regard to Anastasia, she is always with me, in my heart, in my soul.

And for untold numbers of passionate devotees, Anastasia's presence in Vlad's heart and soul, not to mention in the pages of his books, is more than enough. I would say that this is pretty darned impressive for what started out as little more than a middle-aged man's wet dream.

* * * * *

Well, Dear Ones, I hope you've enjoyed our Whirledwind tour of Russian mysticism. I know I have, and I know too that I shouldn't have been so snide in writing about Russia the other day, seeing as how the place is so obviously a center of open-minded, openhearted spirituality. Once again I find myself wading in my shallow pool of snark, my tiny voice all but drowned out by the roar of the waves on the deep and endless ocean of outrageous gullibility passionate belief. And in the wake of this stunning realization, I am left, not for the first time, with but one thought: I've gotta find me a scam.

* "Deep" in the sense of my usual profoundly shallow mulling on these matters.
** Okay, so I managed the "closer" look, but you will, I fear, have to search elsewhere for "more reverent." One out of two ain't bad, though.
*** Regarding the fiction v. nonfiction issue, it's also noteworthy that James Redfield's very clumsily written but wildly successful 1993 spiritual novel, The Celestine Prophecy, was marketed from the beginning as fiction. Redfield never claimed it was anything but fiction. Granted, the cover of the trade edition was kind of cagey, bearing the tag line, "An adventure," rather than "A novel." And the blurb above the title was similarly ambiguous. The fact that the story was framed in nine supposedly profound "insights" about life also may have led many readers to treat it as nonfiction. But the cover blurbs were created by the publisher; Redfield himself was pretty straightforward about Celestine being a work of fiction, albeit fiction with a message. In any case, the New-Agey concepts and principles discovered and discussed by the characters in the novel struck a deep and resonant chord in thousands of readers, and The Celestine Prophecy became a major bestseller, spawning a sequel, numerous auxiliary materials, and hundreds of workshops, study groups, meet-ups, and so on (and even, in 2006, a bad movie). A generation before Redfield, Carlos Castaneda captivated spiritual hipsters and even some academicians with his Don Juan wisdom books, which were originally marketed as nonfiction but later revealed to be mostly fiction – not that it mattered to those who believed Castaneda's books contained profound truths. My point is that the categories of "fiction" and "nonfiction" are all but irrelevant when people are so desperately hungry for what they believe to be Greater Truths.
**** Vlad doesn't specify which Canadian newspaper published the original "lies" about him and subsequently made the apologies, nor does he specify how they apologized, and I can't seem to find anything else on the Internet about it. But I'm sure that Vlad wouldn't lie to us. I suppose that like Anastasia's existence, the bit about the Canadian newspaper is just something we'll have to accept on faith.

* * * * *

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Parting the rubes from their rubles: a rockstar in Russia

Russia fans keep asking me to sign their ruble notes. They believe it will attract money.
~Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale on Twitter

NOTE: I've added a few footnotes and links to this post since I first wrote it on September 16. Also see the September 17, October 1, and October 9 addenda.
~CC

Mr. Fire is currently on a Law Of Attraction tour in Russia, and, according to his reports on Twitter, he has been treated like a bona fide celebrity there, with nonstop fans, flowers, and media. He has done press conferences about the Law Of Attraction (LOA) and The Secret, has been on numerous Russian TV shows, and has been filmed for a Russian movie on, as he puts it, "money and spirit." In Moscow he was mobbed at dinner as an "LOA rockstar," and the fans are lining up at his book signings to give him flowers and get him to sign their ruble notes.

But it's not all good, apparently. The killer pace is really getting to him, and he's been having the worst travel experiences of his life, as indicated on some of his recent tweets:

• Missed flight. Ticket agent fired for it. Stuck in Moscow airport for hours.
• Made it to Siberia. No palace but in Russia vodka solves all.
• No wonder celebs turn to booze drugs or death. This pace is nuts. I want to fire all.
• Interpreter took day off. Tired. What? I'm one doing all work. No day off for me.
• Race car driver of limo hit bump at warp speed. Sent us into roof. Hurt back.

I know what some of you are saying: "Cry me a river, Josef." Tsk, tsk, you cold-hearted souls. I imagine that numerous others are saying, "Wait just a doggone a minute! Joe Vitale... a rockstar in Russia? You have got to be kidding me." As a matter of fact, more than one friend of mine has remarked on the weirdness of a New-Wage guru being treated like such a celeb anywhere, even in Russia.

To me, however, it doesn't seem all that weird when you consider Russian history and culture. It seems to me that Russia is a market tailor-made for Joe's brand of mystical materialism.

To begin with, Russians have arguably always been more openly accepting of mysticism, the supernatural, and the miraculous than have Westerners. Along with that openness comes, not surprisingly, an extra measure of gullibility, which (to give but one example) goes a long way towards explaining why the profligate and seriously hygiene-impaired faux-monk Rasputin was able to bilk so many people back in the day, including Russia's last Tsaritsa, Alexandra Feodorovna. Even when Russia was under the grip of Communism, and religion and spirituality were officially frowned upon while "scientific Marxism" was officially embraced, the Soviet government was reportedly quite actively engaged in psi/paranormal research, presumably to give them a leg up in the Cold War. Whether this was evidence of open-mindedness and an enlightened attitude, or merely a sign of a secret attraction to woo, is a matter of opinion. (No doubt the US government is/has been involved in the same kind of research, but they’ve never been all that open about it.)

Post-Communism, the willingness to believe just about anything remains steadfast in the Russian collective soul. In fact, Russian belief in the mystical and paranormal seems to have increased in recent years, or at least it is now more openly expressed, according to this report on the first international skeptics' conference in Russia in 2001. And let's not forget that in the years since the Cold War ended, Russia has spawned its share of New-Wage hucksters, most notably, the remarkably inventive Vladimir Megre, who suffered a few failures as an entrepreneur until he found his calling in the imaginary-friends industry. I refer, of course, to Megre's Ringing Cedars series, featuring his woodsy make-believe gal pal Anastasia.*

A few days after initially writing this post, I came across this article on the new Russian mysticism, reprinted from the Globe and Mail (Canada) on the Rick Ross web site. If this doesn't convince you that the Russian market is ripe for a little bit of New-Wage magic, nothing will. Among other things, the author points out that many Russians are quite superstitious, "openly discussing omens and bad luck. It's not uncommon for a Moscow merchant to refuse to handle money after sunset because it is considered bad luck. Customers must instead place their money on the counter." And just wait till you read about some of the wacko "home-grown" cults in Russia, including the apocalyptic cave dwellers, and another group of folks who, believing Prime Minister/ex-President Vladimir Putin to be a reincarnated apostle, perform daily devotions in front of a "presidential icon." The "Anastasians" seem quite sane by comparison. (I'll go into all of this in more detail in my next post.)

What about New-Wage materialism?** Well, even though it has been almost twenty years since the failure of Communism in Russia, many Russians are only now awakening to a new world of possibilities – including, and let's not underestimate this – the possibilities for material wealth. Under Communism, so many had so little, and life was probably pretty grim on a material level for all but the highest government officials, assorted Russian mobsters, and a few other wealthy folk. I imagine that living in such a bleak environment was pretty depressing overall for most people, and not just materially.

Even if this minimalist existence was all they knew, and even if they held to a general belief that the Soviet way was "better" than that of the cravenly capitalist West, surely they had some awareness of the larger world. Surely some must have at least wondered what life was like in a freer society. Chuckle if you will, but I am irresistibly drawn to the video for Elton John’s 1980s hit song “Nikita”; if you can suspend disbelief to the point where you can imagine Elton actually being attracted to a woman (and vice-versa), and if you can get past Elton's silly costumes and the girl's spiky eighties' hairdo and shoulder pads, the song and video can be viewed as a poignant expression of longing for a richer life that once seemed forever beyond the reach of the majority of Soviet citizens. “Oh, Nikita, you will never know/anythin' about my home/I'll never know how good it feels to hold you…"

These days, in theory, "Nikita" would have a much better opportunity to learn about Elton's home, were she so inclined, and to explore the big wide world for herself. She might manage to do it on her own, or she might take the seemingly easy way out and sell herself as a mail-order bride to a wealthy middle-aged American man who's had it with bossy, money-grubbing American gals and wants to make a fresh start with a woman who knows her place. (By the way, the richly informative Moscow Life web site offers some interesting perspectives on the Russian bride phenomenon as well as the gold-digging leggy Russian beauty phenomenon.) In any case, there are now more opportunities for Russians to broaden their horizons than there were in Soviet days. And a whole generation has come of age since the statues of Lenin first began tumbling down.

Yet in the nearly two decades since the Iron Curtain fell, Russia’s economy has been on a roller coaster, and consequently so has Russian society. As a result, in many ways much of Russia’s vast population remains out in the cold, figuratively as well as literally. While there is an intense interest in all things Western – the music, the fashions, the fads, the material dreams – the good life remains elusive for all too many Russians. Now comes Mr. LOA (that would be Joe) to tell ordinary Russians that they too can have the luxury cars and the big mansions and the vacations in a tropical paradise, and perhaps the sublime romance with the perfect soul mate as well – all this, and the ability to bend the Universe to their will. And, luckily for them, he has the books and other products to show them how.

Is it any wonder he's a rockstar in Russia?

I’m sure he has also played on the theme that if a “regular guy” like him could achieve such astounding wealth and success, so can they. No doubt he has shared his tale of former homelessness with them, and no doubt they are duly impressed. My guess is that few if any will stop to consider the possibility that being “homeless” for a few months on the streets of Dallas, Texas (or was it Houston? He has told it both ways) – while retaining the option of going back home to a materially comfortable if emotionally dysfunctional middle-class existence in Ohio – is not at all the same thing as chronic poverty on the harsh tundra, where it often must seem that the only thing between you and the abyss is a half-empty bottle of vodka.***

Nor will many of his new Russian followers pause to really think about the fact that even Joe has often said he struggled for years and years and years. (Following the bout with homelessness, there were ten or so years in poverty, and many more after that with a hit-and-miss approach as both a seller and consumer of endless selfish-help/New-Wage/McSpirituality gimmicks, till he finally hit pay dirt.) He was far from an overnight success, but somehow one has the feeling that in Russia, this fact will get lost in translation. Most importantly, I'm guessing that few of the giddy, flower-bearing Russians, envisioning their own happily-ever-after scenarios, will be even remotely aware of the extent to which Joe and other New-Wage gurus still work their buns off, their continued success depending heavily upon aggressive, relentless, and sometimes desperate-seeming marketing.

When it comes to selling ops, Joe in particular leaves no stone unturned, sending out email blasts nearly every day for one or another of his or his cronies' products. At the beginning of this month, f'rinstance, just before embarking upon the Russia trip, he sent yet another email promoting the ludicrous "Psychic Demand" gimmick that he's been marketing for a couple of years with his buddy Pat O'Bryan. If you haven't read about this scheme yet, do follow the link below to "the most shocking web site of all time," and read all about the "new method" (well, I suppose it's new if you consider something dating from circa 1910 to be new). The whole thing is so classically schlocky that even now I find it hard to believe it is serious, but it must be selling, or Joe wouldn't keep sending emails like this:

I found a technique that's far more powerful than the power of intention.
In fact, intention is for wimps.
I wish I had known this new method when I wrote my book, "The Attractor Factor."
At least I know it now. You can, too.
Go see --
http://www.PsychicDemand.com
If you're ready to achieve results so big that all your friends and family will scratch their head in wonder, then go to that site right now.
You'll love it.
Love,
Joe
PS -- What's more powerful than intention? Go see the most shocking website of all time:
http://www.PsychicDemand.com

And so on. As I said, the selling is nonstop. "So what's your point, CosCon?" you're asking. "There's nothing wrong with marketing and selling, and if you were better at marketing yourself, maybe you'd be more successful too." Point well taken. But my point is that Joe's success story isn't nearly as fantastic in reality as it is in the telling – not that this seems to matter, either in the U.S. or in Russia. And it's easy to understand why Joe's Russian fans, already steeped in a culture rich with folklore and fairy tales, might accept his modern-day fairy tale as absolute truth. It's easy to see how that tale might ignite in them a desire for a life as fun and carefree as the one Joe claims to enjoy (notwithstanding those moments when he is being hurled about in a Russian limo, or stranded at a Moscow airport for hours, or abandoned by his interpreter). Indeed, from a marketing standpoint his choice to go to Russia was a brilliant one; the only puzzle is that more of the New-Wage gurus haven't exploited this deep, rich mine (though apparently numerous other foreigners of the spiritual-huckster persuasion have, in the years since the Soviet Union collapsed). Heck, even you and I could probably be rockstars in the Land of the Firebird if we only had a good mystical shtick, and/or a way to convince large numbers of desperate or discontented Russians that we possess some great secret to make them as rich as the Russian mafiosi.

I’m not saying it is entirely a bad thing to introduce people to new ideas that will, perhaps, give them hope. The question, as always, is, how realistic is that hope? And the greater question is, does the world really need a whole nation of Russian hustledorks?

I'd say the answer to question number two is a big nyet.

As for the nightmarish travel experiences in Russia that Joe has repeatedly tweeted about (and that he even asked his Twitter followers to “clean” on (presumably with Ho'oponopono)), I wonder if he believes that he “attracted” all of that trouble, and if so, if he has asked himself why he might have “attracted” it. Alternatively, I wonder if he might be willing to consider that in a huge country where the past and the future sometimes collide in bizarre ways, where everything is in a state of flux and the infrastructure in many areas is dysfunctional at best, sometimes s--t just happens – despite all the “cleaning” and chanting and other rituals a New-Wage rockstar and his fawning fans can perform.

PS ~ I know I provided these links above, but here it is again for your convenience: For additional offerings from Russia with love, you must, if you've not done so already, read about the remarkable naked blonde wild woman, Anastasia, who first showed up on my Whirled in March and April of 2007.
PPS added later ~ For still more Musings about Anastasia, see my next post (final item).

*****
Addendum, 17 September 2009: My first commenter to this post, named "Anon" as so many of them are, made me think about my tendency to jump to conclusions and make generalizations. Although of course I do this to make a point, and I think most of my regular readers (dare I say "fans"?) will probably understand this, perhaps a few disclaimers are in order nevertheless. First, although I have long been fascinated with Russian history and culture, in part because I have Russian roots of my own (as does my partner Ron), and in part because an ex-boyfriend of mine got me interested in Russia long ago, I am not even remotely an expert on anything Russian. My opinions and observations, expressed through admittedly sweeping statements about Russia's past and present, are those of an outsider making what I nonetheless think are some educated guesses. That's why I welcome insights from those who are experts, or at least who have firsthand experience with any of what I've written about in this post.

Secondly, for those who think I may have been singling out the Russian people for special insults, particularly by pointing out what I see as a singularly Russian propensity for belief and acceptance of the mystical, that was not my intention either. I know as well as anyone that Russians have no monopoly on gullibility, and I am sure that not everyone in Russia is into woo; moreover, I realize that there is a great deal of serious scientific research going on in Russia. In fact, anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that I look upon the U.S. as Ground Zero for New-Wage gullibility and selfish-help schemes.

Further, notwithstanding my Anon commenter's remark, my post was not an expression of "post-Cold-War smugness." I'm not even sure the Cold War is indeed over, and I know that Communism/Marxism are not dead on this planet, perhaps not even moribund. (I keep remembering Leonard Cohen's song, "The Future," which imagines a longing for the return of the Cold War, when the major powers thought they knew who "the enemy" was.)

Nor, despite the imagery in my paragraph discussing homelessness and poverty, do I believe that the vast majority of Russians are living in bleak circumstances on the tundra, wasting their lives away with a bottle of vodka. It seems obvious that there is a vibrant life in the cities, particularly Moscow and St. Petersburg, and there is a growing middle class in Russia – a consumer class, which really only enforces some of the other points I've made in this post.

Finally, as someone else pointed out to me privately, there is always the chance that Joe Vitale may have been exaggerating some of the stuff about the "rockstar treatment" and being "mobbed" at dinner (not that he's ever been known to exaggerate before, mind you)****, which would render my entire post somewhat less relevant. I'll just have to wait and see what else, if anything, I hear. As I noted in my response to my first Anon, I'm open to hearing from all.

Addendum, 1 October 2009: On a blog post entitled "Russia Questions," written after he got home and was somewhat recovered from his travels (and travails), Mr. Fire revealed some of the tough questions he was asked by Russian audiences and press. One of these questions almost certainly reflects the post-Cold War ambivalence many Russians have regarding Western-style consumerism, but never fear: Joe has the perfect rejoinder.

Q. Are you creating a culture of consumerism?
A. Consumerism is a negative word for a positive trend. When people buy something to enrich their lives, they are showing they respect themselves. But you can poison that positive by calling it something negative, like consumerism.

'Nuff said. Joe wraps up his post with a cliffhanger:

I was fascinated by Russia (the little I saw of it), but I had to leave it unexpectedly and in great danger. Soon I’ll post an account of my harrowing escape.

Stay tuned.

While his fans breathlessly await the rest of the story, let me offer another one of my wild guesses. Would that "great danger" be a simple matter of a tourist visa about to expire? I'm just going by what he wrote in a September 22 Twitter entry: "Scrambling to leave Russia. Visa expires tonite. Headed to Finland. Send love."

Now, according to information I read on the Moscow Life web site, an expired Russian visa is a monstrous inconvenience and extra expense, but hardly a "great danger"...

Getting a visa to enter Russia may be one of the most difficult processes, next to getting one to exit Russia if your visa expires...

...First, you can stay in Russia on a tourist visa for up to 30 days, so when applying be sure to fill in the maximum time possible, regardless of what a Russian consulate tells you. Second, you cannot renew a tourist visa! Which brings us to our most important point (and hard-earned lesson): never overstay your Russian visa!

...Against all logic, if you've overstayed your Russian visa, you're actually NOT allowed to leave the country. That's right, even though you're no longer there legally, and any other country would just kick you right out, in Russia you actually have to stay in the country longer to get an exit visa so that you can leave...

...We hate to say 'we told you so', but if you overstayed your visa, it will cost you. The price of an exit visa has been known to vary from 300 to 3000 roubles [under current exchange rates, approx. $9.95 to $99.50 USD] or more, depending largely on the whim of the immigration officer handling your case. In addition to having to stand in queues for hours to even hand in your documents, there's the amount of time you'll lose being stuck in Russia (which we normally wouldn't complain about, but it's not a pleasant experience when you have plans to be somewhere else at the time)...

But I have to admit that "great danger" makes for a much better story, whether framed as a true suspense tale or told with a wink and a nod to Joe's heroes, the nineteenth-century impresarios and twentieth-century ad men who were such marvelous storytellers. And I doubt that anyone has ever accused Joe of not being a good storyteller.

Addendum, 9 October 2009: Here at last is a link to Joe's blog post about what happened in Russia (and didn't stay in Russia). And here's a link to my comments about the story. One point I've picked up was that travel in Russia can be pretty dicey, particularly for Americans, it seems, if every detail isn't handled correctly. This page from the U.S. State Department paints a somewhat grimmer picture than the Moscow Life page I cited earlier. So...was I a bit off-base after all with some of my speculations that Joe's claims of "danger" were exaggerated? Maybe. I really want to be fair here. In any case, you can read his post and draw your own conclusions. If nothing else, Joe does provide a good cautionary tale for Americans planning on traveling to Russia.

* As it happens, Vladimir Megre's imaginary Russian babe Anastasia (or, rather, Megre's enterprising "ringing-cedar" products company, which is milking the Anastasia fairy tale for all it's worth) sells a sea-buckthorn berry oil extract, for only $45.80 (US) for a 3.5-oz (100 g) bottle. The berry extract is combined with the magic "ringing cedar" oil that forms the basis of Vlad's international mail-order business. I really shouldn't call Vlad a failed businessman at all, since he has obviously found a great gimmick, what with the Anastasia books, which just happen to mention the marvelous benefits of products derived from the "ringing cedars" (actually a species of Siberian pine). With those titillating visions of the mysterious nude nature girl, I imagine the products practically sell themselves.

By remarkable coincidence, Mr. Fire, according to one of his Twitter entries, told a Russian audience that "the cleaning tool for Russia" is Siberian sea-buckthorn berry. In his October 1 blog post, which he wrote after returning from Russia, he elaborates. According to him, his recommendation was a response to a question he was asked:

Q. Are there any new clearing tools since writing Zero Limits?
Yes. I’m inspired to say Russians are to eat or drink the Siberian berry, Sea-Buckthorn.

Uh-huh. Would "inspired to say" be code for, "I'm in an MLM scheme to sell products made from this magical berry, and I'll be glad to sell a bunch of 'em to you?"

** Re materialism: I understand that some Russians are turning to spirituality and mysticism in an attempt to escape from what they view as the crass materialism of modern life, but, as in the U.S., many others have no problem combining spirituality and materiality. In other words, they're New-Wagers in training.

*** Lest you think I'm stereotyping about Russians and vodka, well, even Russia's newest rockstar wrote, "In Russia, vodka solves all." And consider this, from the Nomad Journal Trips web site:

A quick word of warning for those intending to travel to Russia. Everything you have heard about the amount of vodka consumed in Russia is wrong. The simple truth is Russians drink much more then you’ve been told. You will be expected to join in the toasting to love, mom, vodka, fill in your favorite sports team, etc. Refusal to join in will be considered rude and an insult. It is strongly recommended that you practice drinking shots before going in for Russia travel. I’m very serious.

**** That was sarcasm.