Just a few snippets while I’m waiting on more information for a couple of other pieces I’ve been working on…The word you may have been looking for
The Universe, or maybe it was just The Secret Word Genie, recently revealed a new word to Steven Sashen, who runs the delightful Anti-Guru blog. That brave new word is manifrustration, and it describes a phenomenon that I daresay has been experienced by most folks who have even a passing familiarity with New-Wage culture. Manifrustration is, among other things:
1. The unhappiness associated with not getting what you want after attempting to influence the universe with your thoughts
2. The displeasure that occurs when the manifestation "master" says you haven’t gotten what you want because there’s something wrong with you
There are several other definitions as well; click here for the complete list.
By the way, Jody at Guruphiliac beat me to this one by a few days, noting, "It’s too bad folks can’t un-manifest their money back out of the bank accounts of the con folk who flimflammed them." Any day now, someone is sure to discover an ancient secret, or develop a revolutionary technology, to do just that.
Beast meets West redux
Speaking of Jody, the other day he mentioned that Kalki and Amma, the MystiCouple at the head of Oneness University in India (a place we visited last November) may be under investigation for fraud, money laundering, and assorted other unsavory activities. Then again, they may not be. Jody received an anonymous tip and is still investigating the matter – or at least sitting around waiting for more information.
If Kalki and Amma and gang are indeed engaged in fraudulent activities, the notion of their being investigated and perhaps even brought to justice is intriguing, to say the least – though I wonder how such news would affect those members of the conspicuously enlightened set in the U.S. who have jumped aboard the Oneness train. But I guess we’re getting ahead of ourselves a bit here. I noted with equal interest this comment from Gregory, a Westerner currently living in India (Gregory used to visit my Whirled, and would even comment occasionally, until he became frustrated by my profound shallowness):
this will have nothing to do with their innate criminality, and everything to do with if he has crossed (1) a politician, then (2) a police higher up, or (3) reneged on…[bribes]...
he has had charges against him that i know of more the ten years... and still goes on...
this is india, there is no justice system, only a power system…
An anonymous commenter gave further insight into the milieu that spawned Kalki and Amma and their ilk:
The masses are so incredibly stupid, you end up feeling maybe such idiots deserve such fraudulent gurus.
There are smoking saints, spitting saints, kicking saints, hugging saints, glaring saints, crawling saints...
And no doubt there are bleeding, puking, and crapping saints too. My guess is that things get pretty messy in India. While I don’t necessarily share the opinion that the masses are "stupid" – uneducated, poor, and desperate are not synonymous with "stupid" – I think the anon commenter makes a salient point. At the very least, the comment is a reminder that even though the U.S. often seems to be a hotbed of New-Wage madness, we obviously do not have a monopoly on silliness and irrationality.
Must-haves for your selfish-help library
First off, here’s a book that poses the question most of us have asked ourselves at one time or another: How Come That Idiot’s Rich and I’m Not? by Robert Shemin. How well it answers that question, I can’t say because I haven't read it yet. But you gotta admit the title is compelling, and the book does promise to teach you how to become a rich idiot yourself.
And for people who just can’t get enough of those inspirational books based on appealing but not necessarily useful allegories, there is The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John Davis Mann. I suppose I shouldn't call this a selfish-help book because it is, on the surface, not about selfishness at all. In fact it’s a parable about the virtues of giving in order to get; as the publisher’s blurb says, "Imparted with wit and grace, The Go-Giver is a heartwarming and inspiring tale that brings new relevance to the old proverb ‘Give and you shall receive.’"
I’m certainly not one to argue against the merits of giving. After all, I'm living proof of the rewards of giving; I write this blog for free and am richly rewarded every day. Further, The Go-Giver is not just a heartwarming parable; the authors also reveal something every business owner should know: The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success.
So far the book has been lavishly praised by everybody from Marcy From Maui, Founder, Principal and Chief Fun & Abundance Officer of PowerfulIntentions.com, Inc. (you’ve met her here before), to Stephen Covey of The Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People fame. Amazon readers seem to like it too, with the exception of one dour gent named Marc who gave it only two stars (there’s one in every crowd):
Specific examples please . . . ., January 2, 2008
By Marc E. Thomas "tax and commercial controversies"
Yes, I understand it's allegory. I've read a number of these books and there is no doubt they are well done, interesting, and offer a lesson. I'm a practicing attorney who has "given" (or written off) hundreds, thousands even, of hours of pro bono work in my practice with a genuine and unselfish purpose to help others. Clearly, this has not enhanced my financial success directly or indirectly---just the opposite. Fortunately, I didn't do it for that reason.
Like a lot books in this "genre," it would be very beneficial to understand the authors' financial status, independent of the sale of this book, not to mention some specific examples of real persons that achieved financial success of the "Pindar" sort, or at least in the neighborhood of a "Pindar."
And what would be wrong with that? The allegorical is imaginary. The underlying message, while admirable, in this day and in this time comes close to ringing hollow. Will there be a web site or newsletter providing proof that people following these five rules actually became successful financially, similar to the characters in the book? Will we understand the business, market, or industry, as well as the period of time, in which these successes took place and precisely how success was related to the five rules? Is this a probe for the authors' own business coaching or consultation business (no that there would be a thing wrong with that) so that we can expect specific examples of success from these rules? These aren't unreasonable expectations…
No, Marc, they're not unreasonable. But they are also expectations that most members of the authors' target market simply don't have. If the majority of readers suddenly started demanding "proof" or "evidence" or even "specific examples," the self-help industry would implode.
Schirmer taunting Rhonda’s lawyers?
David Schirmer, the embattled Aussie star of The Secret, seems to be saying "come and get me" to Rhonda Byrne’s legal department, who starred in a recent blog post here. Take a look at Schirmer’s new logo, which seems custom-made to create brand confusion. Then again, maybe his graphic designer just wanted to play a little joke on him.
Give ’em hell, Blair!
Finally, my friend Blair Warren has been having a bit of fun on the Warrior Forum with a perennially hot topic, the Law Of Attraction. One of the folks who responded to his remarks is Heather Vale, the "Dana Scully of Success," whom I briefly wrote about here last year (third item down). Go get ’em Blair.
That’s it for now…more soon. And if you are puzzled about yet another here-today, gone-tonight post on this Whirled, it's nothing to worry about. I'm just doing some...umm...editing.
51 comments:
I have a new word to offer for you -
netpression, the instant feeling or pereception a person feels immediately upon viewing an individual's website / blog or other internet page.
This can result in negative or positive feelings. For example, I had a very positive netpression of your site when I arrived - prior to reading anything. I felt similarly when I journeyed over to Steven's and Lana's. Both individuals, as I read more of their words, strike me a folks I would rarely consider engaging with at all.
Somewhere, I can make a lot of money with this...
That's a great word, CD. And yes, I think you could make some money off of it.
For my part, I've found some common ground with both Lana and Steven. While both have at one time or another advocated some of the very things I've snarked about on my blog, they're good sports about my snarking and seem to be cool with it.
Common ground is something that I like to build on -- and I do, when I'm not busy snarking about the people and ideas I find truly annoying.
But I have to admit that snarking is fun. Addictive, really. Hmmm... I think I might have the makings of my next blog post...
Anyway, thanks for the new word. Let me know if you need help designing the book cover or DVD case for "Netpressions." :-)
Hey CD and Connie,
I came over here to tell Connie about my great new idea for making money, and you're already on the same wavelength :-)
Great minds think alike? Like minds think great?
Here's my idea:
Publish a dictionary/guide with all these cool new words!
manifrustration
Secretron
Hustledorks
Law of Extraction
etc.
Netpression -- very cool!
Maybe it was my burning ears that prompted me to check in...
I think it's easy to find common ground with others who are fascinated with the bigger issues in life. And are explorers and thinkers. And want to have some fun with it all!
Lana, you're right; we are are building our own lexicon here.
re "...And want to have some fun with it all!"
"Fun" is the operative word here, although different folks have different ideas of "fun." I've had to re-think my own ideas about this matter again recently.
But the important point is that I am still having fun here, and I appreciate the feedback I've gotten from everyone -- yes, even the scary ones. There are lessons in all of it.
First of all, I'm HONORED to be blue-d! ;-) ... very Star Trek (original, not NG or the others).
Secondly, I'm still waiting for people to add the other forms of the word and the variations of the definitions, e.g. manifrustrated, manifrustrating, manifrustrator, etc.
I have definitions waiting in the wings ;-)
And, lastly... I've advocated something you've snarked? Really? I'm dying to know what.
Oh, and I'm also thrilled this has led to meeting CD and Lana.
Muchos gracias.
Yep. If I didn't enjoy blogging and interacting on other blogs, I wouldn't do it. Plus, seeing how others think is endless entertainment and food for thought.
On my blog, I try to live by the Golden Rule. I also work to keep it PG-13 (my mom may be a lurker!) And I try to keep things basically on a positive note, although not always successfully when there's so much stuff that I still must be processing! Don't get me started... :-)
I never met any self-made rich person who didn't get rich by being greedy. Of course, society looks down on greediness and it has to be masked in some way. At least that's my view on a lot of these hybrid self-help/money books. Remember the famous line from Wall Street, "greed is good." How is that going to sell in self-help?
The fact of the matter is, what it takes to make one rich is not a lot of fun. I myself do not want to work 80 plus hours a week, give up a personal life, socialize with people I have no interest in, and most financially successful people have to do this. Whatever Ferris Bueller (Timothy Ferriss) may say to the contrary.
I think a bigger question is why money is attached to success? There have been a lot of studies supporting the fact giving helps us psychologically. Yet society has a tendency to put a price tag on what makes a person successful. Everyone has heard about not getting paid what they are worth or how to get the "best deal." Generally, getting the "best deal" means somebody got left out in the cold. I often joke that Warren Buffet and Bill Gates should have cut out the middle man and just remained poor, since they cannot give enough money away.
Hey, Steven, I was hoping you wouldn't mind being blue'd. I pretty much do it to everyone, in keeping with the color scheme here. I've always loved blue... blue lights, blue roses (if only they existed), blue everything... nothing to do with Star Trek, K-Mart or anything else. Okay, maybe it's my innate spirituality. :-)
As for my snarking about someone or something you advocated -- specifically, I have made a couple of snide references to Byron Katie (though not out-and-out "attacks"). I guess I was assuming you were aware of those admittedly minor snarks and were cool with 'em. I've also been kind of snarky regarding numerous other concepts about spirituality, transformation, etc., that I perceive you as taking a bit more seriously than I do.
So...well, maybe I overstated when I said I'd snarked about some topics you advocated. But we do seem to have some philosophical differences and we seem to get along fine. I think that was my point.
I hope I'm making sense!
Lana, I thought I was keeping my blog PG-13, until I was slapped in the face with that NC-17 rating. Oh, the shame of it all... :-)
Connie don't take those ratings too seriously. I got a G rating on my literature blog and all we do is talk about sex! Since we do not use the word "sex" too much, we are safe for children!
You make some excellent points, Mary Anne. Regarding one of your points: Giving does indeed seem to be good for us physiologically as well as psychologically and spiritually -- not to mention that it's good for the recipient (well, ideally).
What I find so intensely annoying at times is the modern-day twist on "giving so that you might receive." Not only the authors of the "Go-Giver" book I mentioned, but numerous other self-styled gurus such as Joe Vitale, are now advocating giving as -- yes -- another way to get rich. The principal is often imbued with a magical mystical air, as if there are some profound metaphysical laws at work.
Most who become rich in the self-help industry do so the old-fashioned way: by hard work (and perhaps more than a little bit of subterfuge). They keep plugging away with books and DVDs and workshops and Internet-based materials until they finally hit on the right shtick. And the really successful ones continue to work long hours, sometimes at the expense of their personal lives. If it's work that they love, of course, it seems like play to them. And I'm not saying they don't enjoy their lives, that they don't relish the fact that their money enables them to do and buy things (and people) that they couldn't afford when they were poor and struggling.
Lest I veer too far off course here, the point is that, ironic as it may seem on one level, altruism is finally coming into its own as a commodity in the self-help industry. There's money to be made by going around telling people to give, give, give because it's good for the bottom line as well as the soul. There are also brownie points to be gained for the gurus who play up any altruistic things they happen to do themselves. These days, conspicuous altruism goes hand in hand with conspicuous enlightenment.
In the early to mid 1990s, the big commodities were "passion" and "bliss." Find your passion. Follow your bliss. Do what you love and the money will follow.
Many learned the hard way that the latter slogan wasn't necessarily true. But never mind. Some of the most successful self-help gurus are still preaching some variation of the "do what you love" bit. And while they may be doing what *they* love, the money is only following because they are able to convince enough ordinary folk to shell out hard-earned bucks for the newest secrets to health, wealth, and happiness.
Whether the money -- or even a semblance of happiness -- follows for their buyers is something for which the gurus are rarely, if ever, held accountable.
Re the ratings: Yes, Mary Anne, I've learned to take them with a grain of salt. I also ran my blog through one of those "reading comprehension level" meters and it seems that I am writing at a junior-high level. Oh, well.
Happy to meet you too, Steven :-)
Here's the great thing about blogs -- they can broaden your horizon. For example, I don't care for Byron Katie's work. But I'm really enjoying Steven's blog!
And Connie's blog? I've learned way more than I really needed to about the New Wage world! I've gagged a lot -- and laughed a lot. (Still waiting for my What Would Connie Do? t-shirt, by the way.)
--------
Happiness is one of the new money-making themes. Hey, maybe it's time for my ship to come in!!! Woo hoo!!!!
~Frightfully Overjoyed
But achieving a junior-high reading level is a good thing!
People forget there is a downside to being wealthy. More money means more problems. Most lottery winners could tell you that. Most of the rich people I know have had a lot of personal problems due to their wealth. Look at Jack Welch of GE. His GE retirement package was leaked by his third wife during their divorce so he could marry wife number four. Now they are selling books about finding their "bliss." Their "bliss" happened at Jack Welch's third wife's expense. This area is not too addressed by self-help gurus. They seem to create these fantasy Disney worlds where everyone is happy, wealthy, and wise. I think what I have learned about the self-help industry is how society has problems with reality and consists of far more followers than leaders.
Lana, I'm still working on those t-shirts and bracelets. I keep changing my mind about the designs. Kind of like I do about keeping certain posts up on my blog. ;-)
And I definitely think that you're on the right track regarding the money-making potential of happiness!
As far as reading level -- yes, a junior-high reading level is an achievement. I just thought it seemed kind of incongruous with the NC-17 rating. Somehow that sends out the wrong message. :-)
You wish all were blue eh?
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?docid=3138044347060717490&q=dougal+blue+cat&total=6&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2
Mary Anne, you know that the get-me-rich gurus would say that you're just perpetuating the myth of money being the root of all evil. :-)
Still, you hit on another very good point, and one that so annoys me about New-Wage culture. The Secret/Law Of Attraction folks and countless other New-Wagers love to speak of the Universe as some benign and hugely abundant source in which there's more than enough good stuff to go around. That Genie is working overtime to give us all what we desire; all we have to do is ask, believe, and receive!
The notion of an abundant Universe is certainly comforting for many, just as the idea of a benign Creator is comforting. And, to give credit where it may or may not be due, it's possible that in some cases the idea that "there's enough for everyone" can temper excessive jealousy or greed or fear in some people.
But there are so many ways in which that idea fails to hold up in our day-to-day lives. Often there literally *isn't* "enough to go around." More pertinent to your point, though, there are so many ways in which people pursue their own "happiness" at the expense of others. The example of Jack Welch is a good one (although if I'm not mistaken those were his second and third wives, not his third and fourth).
There are also some good -- well, maybe "good" isn't the right word -- examples of this phenomenon among some of the self-help leaders. I personally know of at least one, and it's quite a sad story. This also kind of touches on a topic Steve Salerno introduced on his blog some months ago, regarding "collateral damage" from the self-help movement -- specifically, the hurt some people inflict on their spouses and families while engaged in the pursuit of their own happiness.
I realize that just because many people pursue happiness at the expense of others, this doesn't necessarily negate the notion of an endlessly abundant Universe, but let's face it: that abundant-U idea is often part of the system of rationalization employed by the self-indulgent. "No, I didn't abandon my wife; I freed her so she could go find her own happiness."
As for wealth, I certainly don't think it creates evil but, obviously, it doesn't create goodness either. And yes, excessive money does bring its own set of problems; people who suck at handling money when they're poor will -- unless they radically change their ways -- simply have more to suck at when they have more money. As you said, lottery winners are a great example.
Delightful videos, HHH!
I wish the WORLD were blue.
But the Whirled is.
I take great pride in my ability to pick the wheat from the chaff. I have been labeled everything under the sun for that ability. Yeah, Jane was Jack Welch's second wife and a great lawyer too. He is on his third wife now, but I would place bets he will have a fourth down the road. Actually it's not so much not being able to handle money, but the personalities of these wealthy people that make personal relationships tough. It takes a lot of ego, tunnel vision, competitive spirit, and other not so nice qualities to make huge money. These are not personality traits that go well with the warm fuzzies of self-help. I think that's why Ferris Bueller's 4 Hour Work Week was such a hit. I read the editor review for Robert Shemin's book and it looks to be on the same line as the 4 Hour Work Week, which makes sense since that book was a monster bestseller. It's not like these guys are very original either.
I bet you're right about Welch having a fourth wife down the road, if he lasts long enough (he is kind of getting on in years).
You're also right about the problems faced by people who work for their wealth. I was thinking more about lottery winners -- people who may have been struggling all of their lives and suddenly become rich. Those who sucked at handling money while they were struggling are very likely to spend all of their winnings and then end up as bad as, or worse than, before.
As for entrepreneurs who become rich, or anyone else who makes their fortune by working -- that's a different story. You're right; the personality and ego it takes to accrue that wealth just isn't all that compatible with a fulfilling personal life.
A lot of the New-Wage gurus these days are making their money by convincing people that wealth and a fulfilling personal life are not mutually exclusive, IF people follow the six simple steps or whatever it is the guru in question happens to be teaching.
Now, that 4-Hour Work Week thing... that's supposedly all about having a fulfilling and fun life while making money hand over fist. Nice work if you can get it! As for the Rich Idiot book -- I don't know why, but I have a sneaking feeling that the title is the best part of the book.
The message of the 4-hour workweek is:
a) Find or create a product to sell and outsource 90% of the daily operations of running the business
b) Move to somewhere with a lower cost of living
c) Be more efficient with your time
I won't even BEGIN to list the aspects of the author's story that are unreproducible or, at best, highly unlikely to be reproduced.
I was given the manuscript of this book to review for the Dutch publisher... I said, "It's Rich Dad Poor Dad for the 2000's... a fine idea, presented incompletely, that will sell great because of the title, and will turn into an industry of workshops and follow-up products once people discover it's not easy to do."
And I'm not even psychic ;-)
BTW, CC, the odds are that we do agree about "transformation", et al... and I can't think of a reason to care what someone thinks of BK. Someday we'll have to have that chat ;-)
Excellent predictions about The 4-Hour Work Week, Steven.
And yes, thinking about it now, I imagine we might agree about more things than a superficial glance at our respective blogs -- a netpression, in CD's words -- might indicate.
Steve Sashen seems wise, maybe he can help me. You see, some times I wonder,'Is this the real life, or is this just fantasy?'.
I mean, sometimes it just seems like I'm caught in a landslide, no escape from reality. It's like we're all just waiting for the hammer to fall and, frankly, I want to break free. He looks like he knows something of what I relate, perhaps he can offer some words of wisdom. Not that I want to put him under under pressure or anything.
HHH, I have no doubt that Steven can handle the pressure. Mr. Sashen -- your thoughts?
Or, HHH, you can await the release of a new New-Wage moviemercial about leaping beyond illusion. It stars some of today's deepest thinkers.
http://www.theleapmovie.com/index.php
or
http://tinyurl.com/2l26os
What kind of special glasses, eyes or brain does a *visionary* need to be able to *see* that all is an illusion?
Well, Cosmic Connie, I checked out the leap. Hmmm. One of these visionaries is the grandson of the Manpower founder who, it says, passed on some of the secrets of wealth gathering.
I did a stint as a temp. under the auspices of manpower, and I can tell you that one of the secrets of wealth gathering is to get someone else to do mind numbing and tedious jobs like packing fish, while you sit around in a nice office.
I tried to look at the conveyor belt of fish fingers in a zen way, I really did, I tried to stay in the present moment when stacking boxes and I tried to remain connected to my inner bliss when slumped in the canteen over some yucky coffee. However, my monkey mind just would not let me be and I kept thinking....'this is shit'
So one of the secrets to wealth gathering is, I guess, get people to act like mindless desensitised automatons. Amazingly, when I got fired I felt this kind of serene peace and freedom and appreciation of life. So I guess another secret of making money is to get people to accept situations which cut them off from their natural joy and freedom. I hope my suffering contributed to the family fortune.
I just read this on another site and thought I would comment on it here as this seems an up to date discussion.
"The David Schirmer story is truly inspirational- a rags to riches journey of the highest calibre."
I have no doubt that that quote was written by David Schirmer himself. If it was written by Rhonda Byrnes then she obviously did absolutely no research on the people she included in her movie. Could it be possible that she and they were only interested in the amount of dollars that they could make out of manipulating people to believe they needed the material. We've lived for thousands of years without it and by the looks of our economy we more than likely could have done without it. We are turning into a bunch of greedy manipulating selfish do gooders with no backbone and no care for what we are doing to our fellow man.
Lana: It doesn't take special glasses or vision or brainpower to see that the world is an illusion. But I guess it takes something special to make a "movie" featuring a bunch of talking heads sharing their thoughts on the idea that the world is an illusion.
HoHaHe, with that story, I think you may have the makings of a book. Or maybe a New-Wage moviemercial!
Phoebe, I have no doubt that the "rags to riches" quotation came from the Schirmer propaganda machine. Inspirational? Well, it has certainly inspired a few posts on this blog and many others! :-)
And obviously, The Secret has been *very* good for the personal economies of Rhonda Byrne and her stable of "teachers."
You are so nice to me! Are you angling for a thank you in the sleeve notes, or a slice of the profits?
Or maybe a role in my new comminfobookumentary.
Oh, HHH, a sweet and simple thank you will be more than sufficient. However, if you absolutely INSIST on having me as one of the featured visionaries in your project, I insist on being billed as Cosmic Connie, C.P. (Certifiable Professional). That is, unless I happen to decide to buy a doctorate or two in the mean time. Then I must be listed as Dr. Cosmic Connie, Ph.D., C.P.
Netpression - I endorse that.... You can't help but feel it reading some of the crap that these so called teachers write about themselves and lets face it anyone with any ideas about the web KNOW that these people have to pass whatever is written about them on their own web page so who better than themselves to talk themselves up and give themselves a little self gratifying complimenting because afterall thats what they crave most.
Amen, Anon.
If you suffer from manifrustration, then some vigorous manifesturbation could offer some relief.
Netsturbation? Will it make your screen go blurry? Can I do it just until the R fades out of RGB? And will it grow hair on my... er... mouse?
The lexicon is growing, and growing, and growing...
It can make you blind in your third eye, and if overindulged causes depletion of the auric sheaths on a quantum level.
( he was quiet till now )
But surely, HHH, you offer, or know of someone who offers, an ancient secret and/or a powerful new technology to restore those depleted auric sheaths? Perhaps his Great Galactic Radiance could shed some light...
Who said that? Where is that voice coming from? Who turned out the lights? Oh. Erm.
Yes we at the galactic council understand that certain beings on your plane of gross material vibrations have discovered the ancient cosmic law of attraction, and have been busy fulfilling your every wish with the power of your minds once, of course, you are of a sufficiently evolved level to suspend your ignorance. You will have noticed, however, that due to the quantum effects of relativity theory and it's chaos fractal entropic correlates, and the fact that energy cannot be created or destroyed- merely transformed, there is a time delay between your mental order and the universe's delivery of what you wish for. For some this may lead to a phenomenon which some of the more awake of your kind refer to as 'manifrustration' as the tension of not getting what you want builds up. Being material creatures, some of you may be attempting to manifest a mate or three to find a harmonious balance to your quantum pranic yin/yang energies. The manifrustration in this case can be particularly intense, my advisors inform me, thus some of you may engage your mental faculties to imagine that you already have manifested the object of your fullfilment. However this manifesturbation, as some of your less evolved entities call it, is trying to cheat the cosmic process and as all matter is energy, the energy expended cannot become matter and must be sourced from one's own personal supply, and not from the universe. Thus one may not actually be able to manifest that hot punk chick from the supermarket, or that quietly sensual librarian with the glasses and the pinned up hair, or that woman on the bus, or that maths teacher with the close fitting blouse or, well, our observations have been extensive in this matter and we can assure you that there is a solution. For this, however, a small history lesson is in order.
Long ago, when most of you were monkeys, there lived a great civilisation in what you now call the Atlantic Ocean. I was once a preist in this civilisation, so I know what I am talking about, bubba. We were wise in the ways of the cosmos, and the wisdom which you are now beginning to uncover as a race was as natural to us as breathing. Thus were all the members of the Atlantean race proficient in the laws of manifestation and attraction. However, our civilisation was infiltrated by agents of a race of reptilians form the constellation you call Draco. These agents of destruction used harmonic dissonance absorption crystals to increase the
Don't leave us hanging, Your Galactic Radiance!
time delay between wishing and receiving. As a result the energy used up in 'manifesturbation' was dramatically increased and the results were of course, disastrous.
You see, when the Earth was young and you were all swinging from trees and throwing faeces at each other, we of the Atlantean race lived in a unified harmony with the Earth. We were one with the spirit of Gaia. What hurt her, hurt us and vice versa. Unfortunately the increased energy devoted to 'manifesturbation' had to be drawn from the Earth herself, which was just what the reptilians intended in their diabolical scheme. As Earth became more depleted, it's skin began to lose it's suppleness and resiliance. Thus strange changes began to be apparent in the land of Atlantis as strange hills began to grow, crags and valleys opened and rumblings from deep below could sometimes be felt. My people could not desist, however, despite the warnings of our best scientists. At first we lost a couple of small villages to earthquakes, but soon great tremors wracked Earth as more and more energy was devoted to 'manifesturbation' and the Earth lost more and more of her life force. Eventually, the foundations of the very land upon which the civilisation of Atlantis was built crumbled, and in one night of intense 'manifesturbation' the whole kit and kaboodle collapsed into the sea, and passed into legend. There were survivors of course, those who managed to sail or be carried on rafts to be washed ashore on the western seaboard of Europe, particularly the lands which you now call Wales and Greece. Those who made it to these particular lands there discovered a species of quadrupedal being called sheep. Subsequently they were able to devise and ingenious solution to the problem of 'manifesturbation', which I may relate to you after I consult the relevant akashic records.
Chin chin,
His Radiance, galactic blah blah etc.
Thank you, Your Radiance. You have answered a lot of questions, and have raised yet more questions. Looking forward to the next installment. :-)
Greetings adoring awestruck Earth beings. It is I, His Ascended Galactic Radiance, 9th level Lord of the Photon Belt, Leader of the Council of the Wise Lamas, Bringer of Justice, Bearer of the Sacred Flame of Sirius and the Sacred Sceptre of Arcturus, Emissary of Healing Light, Sustainer of All that is Just and Good, Emanator of the Golden Harmonic Vibration of Zuzz. It is no easy process to access the akashic records, as they are written in words of etheric antimatter on pages of astral dark matter in a five dimensional quantum script, plus they are closed on Wednesday afternoons. The correct and highly powerful ancient syllables must be pronounced very slowly and deeply to give the correct air of reverence, whilst in a deep theta state (which fortunately I transcended eaons ago). Imagine my surprise when after executing the necessary procedure I was to find a sigil bearing the meaning
'Sealed for reasons of Welsh national security, do not open till 2012'. I even gave it a bash with the Sceptre of Arcturas, but alas to no avail, it remains sealed.
I must convey my apologies and I can only say that I sense the cold scaly hand of the reptilians at work in this matter. Further consultation with my advisers is necessary, I believe. I reassure you that there is an answer to the problem of the phenomenon of 'manifesturbation', and it does indeed involve sheep, but I am currently not at liberty to divulge the exact nature of the remedy.
Incidentally, do not be fooled by the many errors in grammar and style what appear in my messages of wisdom. It is not due to error on my part, but simply to the fact that your primitive Earth computers step down the high vibrational frequency of my wisdom in an often inaccurate way.
His Ascended Radiance ya di ya di ya.
It's always the Reptilians, isn't it?
Reptilians and.....hamsters.
Oh, yeah... the hamsters. I forgot about them. And the wheels keep turning...
The wheels.
I suddenly feel very lonely.
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