Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Friday, November 09, 2007

Why you can’t sue a hustledork, continued

So I was Googling around, up to no good as usual, when I came across a site advertising one of the valuable products offered by a rising star in the wide world of Internet capitalism. This person, Pat O’Bryan, has learned how to make tons of money on the Net, and has written a couple of books about it, the latest being Your Portable Empire. But he was recently criticized by at least one person on Amazon for having "dodgy" ethics. "If you're selling something thrown together in an hour its [sic] not going to be very good so don't talk about holding to the highest ethics," the person wrote.

Granted, this wasn’t the strongest case one could have made regarding a person's (any person's, not just Pat's) ethics, or lack thereof. At any rate, Pat had an answer. One of the points he made was this: "The important component of any information product is the information, and the quality of the information is what determines the value and price – not how long it takes to create the product. If I can solve your problem in 30 seconds, I've done my job."

What he didn’t add was this: "Or if I can merely convince you that I have solved your problem – or, better yet, convince someone who didn’t think they had a problem that they do, and that I have the solution – I have most certainly done my job. Either way, it’s a win-win situation. I get more money, and my customers get to feel a little better for a while!"

But maybe that last bit goes without saying in today’s New-Wage business climate.

I have not yet read Your Portable Empire, but I was curious about some of the other things Pat had to offer, so I went onto his web site and poked around a bit, and came across a link to something called "Psychic Demand."

I was immediately met by a bold red 36-point headline: "I Demand $25,000.00." Following this was an equally large announcement:

Just discovered –
The 1910 Secret of
Psychic Demand – The Long Lost Method for Getting What You Want –
Guaranteed to Always Work!

And then we’re off and running with tantalizing promises of hidden knowledge:

Introducing a rare volume in a lost scientific course on success. This is the actual secret method used by Joseph, Abram, Moses, Plato, Phidias, Shakespeare and other legends throughout history. Read this incredible true story and discover the secret that commands the universe...a secret you will be able to use, too...in only minutes from right now...

It sounds to me as if this secret is even more powerful than the Law Of Attraction, as outlined in The Secret. Could it be that this is the REAL secret? And all this for only $19.00 US!

But what I found even more interesting than the promise of this product was the iron-clad guarantee:

Yes, this package is guaranteed.

But what we guarantee is that we will deliver the goods promised. We do not guarantee your results because it is up to YOU to apply the Psychic Demand method. You can't buy a hammer and return it when you don't use it, saying "It doesn't work." Of course it works.

If you use this method, it will work. But if you're not happy, Clickbank (the company who handles the orders) will replace any defective item within 8 weeks, as they see fit.

A hammer…hey, great analogy! And a great variation on the New-Wage credo: If it doesn’t work, it’s your fault.

Just in case you have some questions about the ethics of this product (or the sellers), be assured that the Psychic Demand package is all intended to be for the higher good:

Again, we don’t want just anyone to have this. For the sake of all concerned, do not order right now if you will use this to try to manipulate others or to do harm in the world. We only want advanced souls to use this power – and to use it for good.

Whew. That’s a load off my mind.

PS – Pat O’Bryan does apparently have a knack for self-deprecating humor, as evidenced on his Cult of Pat web site, which I found genuinely amusing, even inspiring. There definitely needs to be a Cult of Cosmic Connie…

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6 Comments:

Anonymous Lana said...

"That's why we will not advertise this site, or do anything to bring the riff-raff here."

ROTFLMAO!!!! They truly don't know how to attract what they want, do they?

As they say in the LOA world: You spot it, you got it.

Friday, November 09, 2007 9:08:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

LOL, Lana. They certainly don't seem to know how to not attract what they DON'T want. :-)

Friday, November 09, 2007 10:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

That's what is so amazing. These people claim to know and use the LOA, yet they inevitably use it to bring what they don't want. And they don't recognize it. Some seem to go out of their way to screw up!

I refer again to the "You spot it, you got it" principle that you often hear LOAers throw around. If you're complaining or objecting about something, or if you're emphasizing something (good or bad), you're talking about that something in yourself.

So to talk about making sure to keep "the riff-raff" away...

It's comical.

We recently saw this happen on Steve Salerno's blog ("We attracted a deer last night" post). If that person defending JV truly does understand the LOA, why did they go out of their way to slam Steve? Why purposely reflect or create THAT reality?

Maybe it depends on which LOA one believes. We've got everything from LOA Lite (which I don't have a problem with, although I'd call it something else) and on up the scale to the extreme that's in The Secret book.

Saturday, November 10, 2007 9:06:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yes, I guess LOA beliefs do exist on kind of a continuum. Besides the extremes you hinted at, there are, of course, all of the variations that come with a string of qualifiers -- the things you have to do in order for LOA to "work," (or to work in your favor); the things you have to avoid doing; and so on.

And Mr. Fire, like many other "stars" of "The Secret," is taking full advantage of the DVD's shortcomings ("It was a GREAT start, but it didn't tell you the WHOLE story!" This despite the hype in the beginning stating that the DVD had all the info you needed to start your wonderful new life. Yeah, I've bitched about that before on numerous occasions). At the same time, these folks who purport to know the REAL secret(s) that the DVD hid from us are exploiting the heck out of having been in "The Secret." For Joe it was definitely a turning point in his quest for fame and accolades.

And in all fairness, it looks as if the "Pyschic Demand package" I poked fun at was released some time before "The Secret" hit the fans. Otherwise "The Secret" most certainly would have been mentioned in the copy. Repeatedly.("Before 'The Secret'...there was 'The Psychic Demand' technique!") In any case, I'd be curious to know how many units Pat and Joe have sold. It is, as you probably noticed, a JV between Pat and... well...JV. Those two are pretty tight these days.

Saturday, November 10, 2007 9:35:00 AM  
Anonymous Lana said...

Sigh. What a can of worms.

I'm going to have to let go of this stuff again. I guess the San Diego Fires firestorm pushed my buttons. I lived there for 14 years and have family and friends there. And what JV said was bone chilling.

RevRon posted this incisive comment on my blog in our discussion about all this. It made me shudder.

"Mercy requires the acknowledgment on both your and others’ parts of the existence of something that is painful. A true LOA believer would admonish you to emulate their practice of looking away from the pain, thus rendering both the request for and the responsibility for offering mercy pointless. Problem solved, whether it involve missteps in logic, seeing one’s loved one burn to death in a fire, or the devastation of a leaky wading pool."

Oops, I'm supposed to be letting go! I just got myself worked up again.

Saturday, November 10, 2007 10:06:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Join the club, Lana. I get worked up about these things too, and I guess it shows sometimes. :-) But then, that's *our* problem, according to the JV school of let-them-eat-cake New Wage-ism.

Anyway, the "firestorm" seems to be all swept under the carpet, with JV posing as Santa Claus and the JoeBots coming back in force to tell him that his teachings reflect those of Jesus, etc.

And so it goes...

Saturday, November 10, 2007 10:17:00 AM  

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