Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Ship of fools

Be warned now: Noted quantum physics expert Scientist Bob Proctor and his pals, as well as nearly 2,000 personal-growth junkies, are taking over an entire ship in October! The Reverend Michael Beckwith, aka Zormak, is going to be on board as well, raising the vibe by perpetrating a special meditation every morning. Also appearing will be several other renowned hustledorks self-help stars whom Scientist Bob is raving about but most of whom, frankly, I've never heard of.

Alas, for some reason, it doesn't look as if Bob's former co-hort, Aussie Secret star David Schirmer, is going to be on board. And the two of them were so good together! But Bob will be featuring New Thought star Mary Morrissey, whose husband Edward served prison time for laundering money and using funds from his wife's church for personal expenses, so maybe there will be something of a sense of continuity. (It should be noted that Mary herself was never charged with a crime, and I am sure she knew absolutely nothing about what Eddie was up to.) Anyway, according to Son o'Bob Brian Proctor, "Mary Morrissey will be on board to do a program with Bob Proctor that will be introduced for the first time on the ship." Here's more info about what will be happening when the Self-Love Boat sets sail.

There will be plenty of opportunities on the cruise for you to learn how to get rich, or, even more important, make Bob and his friends richer. F'rinstance, there will be an opportunity to get in on Bob's Science of Getting Rich program. And there will be all sorts of additional programs, products, and services to help you max out your plastic.

No doubt about it, the Mexican Riviera will never be the same. In fact, with a couple thousand aggressively self-improving folks on board, who knows what profound Earth changes will occur? The resulting vibes could be overwhelming; this might just be the event that causes not only California, but the entire West Coast of North America, to finally break off and sink into the ocean.

And even if that doesn't happen, there's something else that might be a red flag for the potential cruiser: the possibility of body-snatcher or walk-in situations. If you watch the video on the site I linked to above, you'll hear Scientist Bob saying that he guarantees that each person who walks up that gangplank onto the ship will be a completely different person by the time he or she disembarks.

So I'd be careful if I were you.

PS ~ Some lyrics that popped up in my head...

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Anonymous Blair Warren said...

I don't suppose they have any icebergs in that part of the world, do they?

As for Schirmer not being on the ship...perhaps the other Secret gurus have already forced him to walk the plank.

Heck, even pirates had honor among thieves. Not that any of these gurus are thieves, mind you. But I can sure envision a few of them wearing an eye-patch.


Sunday, September 02, 2007 6:16:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Actually, Blair, I was wondering about hurricanes, and I was thinking that if Scientist Bob had been prudent he would have waited until after hurricane season was over to have his cruise. Even though recent storms have done more damage around the Yucatan Peninsula (the "Mayan Riviera," as opposed to the "Mexican Riviera" where the Ship of Fools will be sailing), the west coast of Mexico isn't immune to the forces of nature.

Then again, with the combined efforts of the Spirit Diva in Florida, and our own Mr. Fire in Texas -- not to mention the awesome collective brain power of the "like-minded people" on Scientist Bob's cruise -- maybe those hurricanes will be kept in check.

As for pirates... hmmm....kinda makes you feel like Photoshopping, doesn't it? ;-)

Sunday, September 02, 2007 7:34:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please Connie, if you are going to do any PhotoShopping, please purchase another colour for your pencil set. Don't get me wrong, blue is nice, but I think that you will find that there are a couple of other colours in the rainbow. Unless of course those pesky Secretrons have place an order into the universe of a single colour rainbow.

I also saw this guy post on a blog recently and he has some interesting concepts of just where the Secretrons may have got it wrong. http://www.thesecretantidote.com/

Also, Blair, I think you may well find that Schirmer was walking around in a fog, like most of the secret teachers, and when the fog lifted he found himself on the end of the plank!! You see, Schirmer is not all that bright, and he could never see past all the money he was going to make and therefore was prepared to do and say anything to get his hands on it, and lying and cheating came easily for him.

Sunday, September 02, 2007 10:45:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Anon. Actually it wasn't PhotoShop or Corel PhotoPaint (my real app of choice) that made me blue; it was a cheap trick called "swap red and blue" in a thumbnail-preview program called "Thumbs Plus." The blue just seemed to fit in with the general ambiance on this template.

You may very well be right about Schirmer.

And I'll check out the secretantidote.com site as soon as I can. Thanks for writing!

Monday, September 03, 2007 10:30:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It’s no surprise that the secret has many more secret’s. I’ve just found out that Dr. Joe Vitale a teacher featured in the secret is not an actual doctor. He just gave himself that title inorder to build credibility. Why am i not surprised. That’s exactly what david did when he said he was worth millions. Credibility in an Internet Marketer (Scammers) best friend it allows them to get peoples trust and more importantly their money. I’ve searched the internet and consulted with professors at Local Universities - There is no such thing as a doctorate in Metaphysical studies which Joe Vitale claims to have. God, I feel sorry for all those poor people that invested with him after watching the secret.

Since this is new news, I’d appreciate it if some of you spread the news just like you’ve done with David Schirmer to prevent other unsuspecting people/investors from getting burned.

Also while we are on the subject I’ve done some digging behind Michael Beckwith another teacher in the secret and cannot find any information on the doctorate he claims to have…I really hope he didn’t fake his doctorate to gain popularity…he was my favourite teacher.

It seems like the LOA has ultimately back fired on the Secret Teachers and Rhonda Bryne. Reminds me of the saying “The Hunter has finally become the hunted”. For all the people these guys have conned I hope they spend an eternity in hell.

I apologize for my language but I’ve lost a ton of money to these people and I’m not to happy about it.

Sunday, September 09, 2007 12:12:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon, the subject of questionable credentials -- spurious Ph.D.'s and the like -- has been a topic of discussion (and satire) around here off and on for quite some time. It's fairly well known, at least in some circles, that Joe V. claims to have a doctorate in both metaphysics and marketing. Some of us have had a great deal of fun with this, but, unfortunately, most of his followers don't seem to question the authenticity of his credentials.

As I see it, the big difference between Schirmer and other "Secret" stars, including Joe Vitale, is one that I've also stated previously: Schirmer's shtick was finance and the stock market, areas tightly regulated by various government agencies. Fraud can more easily be proven than in the more nebulous areas in which most New-Wage gurus dabble.

I am very sorry you have lost money to New-Wage hucksters, and I can understand your bitterness. As for myself, though, I honestly do not wish eternal torment for anyone, not even the worst of the offenders. My only wish is that they would learn some integrity.

Sunday, September 09, 2007 7:43:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Schirmer is now selling Tony Robbins tickets in a bid to get funds. How desperate must you be when you have to suck up to people who have actually made something.

For Christs sake Schirmer, who the hell gives a shit whether Tony Robbins helped you or not the fact is YOU HAVE STOLEN FROM PEOPLE AND REFUSE TO RETURN WHAT IS NOT YOURS. Until you get that through your head your business will suffer. Interesting how you quote that you have made sooooooooooo much money but where the hell is it you idiot? If you have made so much WHY ARE YOU SO IN DEBT? Why do you owe all these people so much money. If you can trade like you think you can, where the hell are the returns? If you can preach like you think you can then why the hell are so many people so hurt by your actions?

Quit the lies and come clean otherwise suffer the consequences you idiot.

Sorry to the readers but this guy really pisses me off with his egotistical foolishness. He should get off his fat arse and stop sucking off everyone else and get a real job and start paying people back.

Monday, September 10, 2007 2:30:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Well, I think it's definitely time for Schirmer to find a new career. I wonder if there will be a third version of "The Secret" -- not a sequel, which of course is already in the works -- but another revised version, with Schirmer edited out. Of course then they'd have to find another sterling soul to take his place... :-)

Monday, September 10, 2007 9:47:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

An additional note to Anon number two, and anyone else who has wondered about Joe Vitale's doctorates... This is from an article published recently in his hometown paper, the Youngstown, Ohio, Vindicator:

"Vitale holds a doctorate in metaphysical science from the University of Metaphysics in Sedona, Ariz., and based on the books he's written, was awarded an honorary doctorate from Belford University, an online college."

The University of Metaphysics is apparently not an accredited university (big surprise). It looks as if Belford University is accredited by a couple of organizations that only evaluate online universities, as opposed to brick-and-mortar universities. In any case, that doctorate is honorary.

None of which will stop his followers from respectfully referring to him as "Dr."

The link to the full article on Joe is

Monday, September 10, 2007 4:22:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

By the way, if you think you have sufficient life experience to qualify for a doctorate in something or other, you can purchase it for $549.00 US from Belford.

Here's what it says on the web site, www.belforduniversity.org:


Students seeking admission in our online Doctorate degree program are required to have at least 8 years of work or life experience relevant to their desired major. For those students who do not have enough experience, Belford University provides the flexibility to submit a Doctoral Thesis relevant to the major they are interested in.

If you want to get your PHD degree online on the basis of prior life experience, the eligibility requirements for a Doctorate degree may be satisfied in any of the following ways:

• Prior job experience in any field
• Previous educational achievements
•Employer-sponsored training and attendance of workshops
•Participation in organizations, both professional and non-professional
•Personal goals, lifestyle, hobbies, and travel
•Participation in volunteer activities and community service
•Independent reading, viewing, listening or writing

If you have the required work or life experience, click below to apply for a work experience college degree in your desired major and get it in just 7 days!

The complete doctorate degree package costs only $549 with
free shipping.

The package includes the following documents:
•1 Original Accredited Life Degree •2 Original Transcripts
•1 Award of Excellence
•1 Certificate of Distinction
•1 Certificate of Membership
• 4 Education Verification Letters


Now, if you don't have enough "life experience" to qualify for a doctorate, you can also submit a doctoral thesis. And they make it easy for you to do so.

For more information go to:


Really, provided you have at least 8 years experience in SOMETHING (even breathing or pooping, maybe?), there's no reason NOT to have a Ph.D. or two any more!

Monday, September 10, 2007 6:55:00 PM  
Blogger Richard McLaughlin said...

Love the thread.

I was raised in Youngstown OH and worked in Niles, so I suppose I should be proud of the home-grown.

I am an editor on Wiki, so go look at the Mr. Fire page that I brought up to date.

belforduniversity (dot) org home page has a title - "Life Experience Degree - Buy Affordable Accredited Degrees Online Now"

I went through the online process, take 6 or 7 minutes and costs $1300 (ok, I didn't pay)

Saturday, November 17, 2007 3:08:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks for your input, Richard, both here and on Wiki. Others have actually confronted Joe Vitale about his phony degrees, but he just ignores the questions and keeps on calling himself "Dr." Vitale, as do his followers. They don't care.

In Texas, however (where "Dr." Vitale lives), it's illegal to use "degrees" from Belford or the University of Metaphysics to promote one's business or one's self. It's a Class B misdemeanor. Not that it matters, I guess.

Saturday, November 17, 2007 3:26:00 PM  
Blogger RichardMcLaughlin said...

If it is illegal, you can always file a complaint. May be ignored, but better to have tried and failed.
I met Joe about a month ago and he refused to talk with me. I know, he is better than me - but I asked the universe that he talk with me!

Thursday, November 22, 2007 4:20:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Richard, IMO it's not worth filing a complaint about, so I'm not going to. If Joe wants to pump up his credibility with phony doctorates it's not hurting me.

I can't imagine why he wouldn't want to talk to one of his home boys, though. What did you say to him that would make him refuse to talk to you? What was the context of the meeting? Do tell!

Thursday, November 22, 2007 4:42:00 AM  
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Saturday, April 05, 2008 12:27:00 PM  

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