Secret hotties: Zormak v. the Ray Gun
In a post on his SHAMblog last November, Steve Salerno wrote about Larry King’s first infomercial on The Secret. One of the guests on that segment was, as Steve described him, "the surreally weird Dr. Michael Beckwith, who, in dress, speech, mannerisms and overall demeanor looked as if his birth-name might really be Zormak From The Planet Woosabi-6."
Steve, it pains me to tell you this, but Zormak is now one of the hottest hunks on Planet Earth. Or at least he’s hot on the planet where the participants in Marcy From Maui’s Powerful Intentions forum live.
One woman started the ball rolling by asking, "Is it me or does anyone else think he is super sexy? (the week is over and I'm feeling silly!!!) I still do think he is hot, even when I'm not feeling silly!"
The first responder agreed: "Of all those teachers who appeared on Oprah, I found him to have the most charisma, make the most sense, and radiate the most peace."
And another: "Oh I agree, I agree. Michael Beckwith is hypnotically sexy."
One lady added, "I personally heard Oprah tell Michael he was her favorite! I think his pure spirit shines through and makes him VERY attractive. Maybe the closer to source the better looking we get! ONE can hope! LOL!"
Hey, I like a guy with dreads as much as the next gal. But Zormak? Sorry, not my style.
I have to keep in mind that perhaps some of these ladies were a bit disillusioned by the Three Amigos MLM scheme (which is now, of course, the Two Amigos scheme).* Maybe their opinion of Beckwith has been enhanced by the fact that he apparently had the integrity to back out of it. (If, indeed, that was what really happened. Remember, not everything you read on this blog is the – pardon the expression – gospel truth. Some of it is just speculation.)
In any case, it seems that Zormak has some competition in the hottie contest: James Earl Ray. No, wait, I mean, James Arthur Ray. Some of the ladies on the Beckwith forum chimed in with observations that Ray has that bad-boy-turned-good thing going: the roguish smile, the twinkle in his eye, all those things that can turn even the most conspicuously enlightened woman’s thoughts to her second chakra.
So what’s a gal to do if she wants to hook up with one of these guys? Well, first of all, ladies, keep in mind that they may already be attached. But if that’s not a concern for you, or if you just want to be in the presence of these mighty men to enhance your own spirito-sexual growth, there are several steps you can take.
You could just try manifesting the Secret Stud of your choice into your boudoir, but if that doesn’t work, no problem. If it’s Zormak who gets you going, simply move to L.A. and start attending his Agape International Spiritual Center. Piece o’cake.
If the Ray Gun is more your style, the good news is that you have tons of choices, and they really won’t cost you all that much, considering what you could possibly get in return. I went onto Ray’s Events Page and saw a list of some of his most important workshops. I’m pretty sure that he would suggest you take all of them. Here they are, along with their prices, where known:
- Harmonic Wealth Weekend: There is no indication on the web site about the cost of this one, but it could be the famous $997.00 deal everyone’s talking about. Somebody correct me if I’m wrong.
- Creating Absolute Wealth: The blurb says, "Don't you and your family deserve this? Sign up for Creating Absolute Wealth for only $3,495.00 per person."
- Quantum Leap: "You owe it to the rest of your life to get to Quantum Leap as quickly as you can. The investment is ONLY $3,495.00 per person."
- Modern Magick: "Now is the time! Increase your spiritual and practical power to create everything you desire... All for just $5695!" Matter of fact, Ray seems to have created an entirely new web site for Modern Magick; it’s that important. He says, "By the way, we only hold this unique event once per year, and attendance is strictly limited. As of now, there are only a handful of spots left. Please click here immediately so you can learn more and make your decision, before someone else makes it for you."
- Practical Mysticism: "You owe it to the rest of your life to get to Practical Mysticism as quickly as you can. The investment is ONLY $5695 per person."
- Spiritual Warrior: "You owe it to the rest of your life to get to Spiritual Warrior as quickly as you can. The investment is ONLY $7695 per person."
I don't know about you, but it sounds to me as if we owe the rest of our lives a hell of a lot of money.
Ray is also hosting a special event called "The Quickening,:" to be held in Kona, Hawaii Apr 23-April 27, 2007. There’s no word yet on the cost of that one, or even what it is (the link lead me to the Creating Absolute Wealth page). But the web site does indicate that The Quickening is "By Invitation Only." So if you want to get called to Kona, I’d suggest you get yourself into Ray’s inner circle P.D.Q.
So who will win the Secret Hunk face-off? Will it be Zormak or the Ray Gun? Or will it be wild-card contender Bob Proctor? (Yes, one of the ladies on Marcy’s forum actually suggested good old Bob.) Or will it be someone else entirely? I can’t wait to find out.
* Note: The Two Amigos became Three Amigos again when Michael Beckwith apparently changed his mind and rejoined Bob Proctor and Jack Canfield in the briefcase scam.