Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Saturday, February 03, 2007

The day after Groundhog Day

Just a couple of snippets before I'm off to do whatever it is I do on Saturdays. I don't care if the Punxster saw his shadow yesterday or not; it's bright and beautiful in the Bayou City today, though it's colder than a bear's ass, as a dear friend of the Rev's and mine likes to say.

Jesus loves platinum. Who knew?

I have just been informed about a new product that has been endorsed by several leading professional psychics, as well as Saint Germain and even Jesus Himself.
What's really remarkable it that the product is approved by the FDA. Okay, I just made that up. The inside of the bottle is, however, "coated with FDA grade epoxy." How many other serums and elixirs and supplements can make that claim?

What's also remarkable is that taking this elixir can alter your aura. Just look at the
cheap Photoshop trick amazing before-and-after photos in the ad below. (Click on the pic to get a larger and more readable version.)


At only $40.00 for a four-ounce bottle, this is a real good deal for the hucksters who are marketing it anyone who wants to clean up his or her energy fields.

Enough already!
The following phrases should be made illegal, on the grounds that I am sick of hearing and seeing them...
  • "It's all good." NO, it's friggin' NOT all good, and saying it ad nauseam doesn't "make it so!"
  • "Trust walk" (I was reminded of this grievously overused phrase once again when Christopher Locke sent me this link to a video clip of a LOHAS conference. BTW, the "trust walk" exercise itself is egregiously overused by New-Wage and corporate workshop leaders, the latter of whom seem to think it is some sort of "team building" exercise.)
  • "Git 'er done!" (Okay, this one is generally not uttered by the same demographic that is so fond of the first two, but it is still intensely annoying.)
Also, y'all are on notice that Happy Dances are no longer even remotely cute or clever, particularly when performed by middle-aged people in business costumes.

So stop it, all of you!

Okay, I'm off to have fun with the Rev.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Bruce said...

thank you thank you for sharing the wonderful jeezis-approved platinum elixir with us. And I don't know who the hell St. Germain is but heck, if he agrees with the big J, then this stuff must be probbbly really good maybe.

and double thanks for the phrase and happy dance bans. 'bout time.

Sunday, February 04, 2007 12:16:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Bruce! Google St. Germain and you'll find he was a real person who has been endowed with esoteric and mystical properties by the new-age/new-wage crowd. (You know, the folks who say, "It's all good." :-))

Sunday, February 04, 2007 1:28:00 PM  
Anonymous denver said...

I love your blog. Like Chris (Locke) I appreciate seeing an intelligent woman who's twigged to the "New Wage" crowd ... so many of my female friends and acquaintances just open wide and swallow this junk. It's horrible to watch (and listen to).

I know Chris is angst-ridden over seeming a misogynist ... but does it seem to you that women are particularly prone to falling for this stuff? Especially if there's some kindly-looking "father-figure" type to help them clear their chakras and liberate them sexually?

(That's the male flipside to this question, in my experience: it's dominated by dirty old men who just go around inventing new reasons to touch up younger women. Worse, the women are actually eagre, whereas in any other situation they'd be calling the cops. I've also noticed that women get far more sympathetic treatment from these gurus than men do, and that the younger and prettier, the more pronounced this effect becomes. So much for enlightenment, huh?)

Keep up the great work, and

Thanks!

Sunday, February 04, 2007 6:15:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks for the kind words, Denver. It's a shame that Chris or any other guy feels he has to tread so carefully when criticizing New Age nonsense. If the people behaving nonsensically happen to be women, they deserve to be criticized and/or made fun of, and it has nothing to do with misogyny. But I guess it's just too easy for some offended parties to play the "misogyny card" the way others play the "race card."

On one level it does seem that women are disproportionately vulnerable to New-Age/New-Wage stuff, but some would argue that women have always been more likely than men to abandon rationality in matters of faith. (Notwithstanding that the vast majority of suicide bombers are male. I'm talking about less extreme expressions of faith, of course.)

Then again, have you ever hung around one of the New Thought-type churches (Unity, etc.)? Those places are crawling with SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) who also seem all too willing to "open wide and swallow" every word they hear from the Gregg Bradens, the Bruce Liptons, and the gurus in "The Secret" and "What The Bleep."

I have also seen my share of that "male flipside" to which you referred: the lecherous "healers," "counselors," "spiritual leaders" and the like. Of course, that's not new either; think Rasputin, for example. And it's not confined to the New Wage community; think Jim Bakker, etc.
(Take a look at Jody Radzik's Guruphiliac blog. He's constantly posting about gurus who overstep boundaries with their female followers.)

Anyway, thanks again for the compliments, Denver. I hope you'll keep coming back!

Monday, February 05, 2007 12:25:00 AM  
Anonymous moi said...

Connie, somehow I missed this little essay you snuck in. I guess if I had taken the elixir, I wouldn't have missed it.
You have put my thoughts into words with your rant against "it's all good". Thanks you for saying that. It is not all good. In fact, some of the "spiritual" stuff people do is pretty bad, like what denver talks about below. I'd bet that Braden guy has a small sized harem himself. I may be wrong, but it does seem that new age gurudom has fringe benefits for men, especially older men who never got to date much younger women before.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007 8:39:00 AM  

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