Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Cosmic trigger misfires

I can’t believe I've been away from my blog again for over a week. In truth this has been a very trying week for me, and I have to wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that I failed to participate in the Cosmic Trigger Event that occurred on October 17.*

I’d been looking forward to the CTE ever since I received the email with the headline, "Miracles!! Miracles!!! Miracles!!!! They can be Yours!!!" The email was actually an ad for the services of the Reverend Carolyn Fumia, a transplanted upstate New Yorker now residing in the arid and mystical land of Arizona. (Sedona, natch. Did you even have to ask?)

I was intrigued by the notion of having some Miracles of my very own, preferably without having to exert any effort or part with any money, so I read on. But it turns out that these Miracles are not mine for the taking. I have to buy them. And in some cases I have to work for them as well. It seems that Rev Carolyn is offering a series of services devoted to Awakening The Master Within You. A clear case of Master Baiting, I thought, but decided to read on anyway.

Rev Carolyn, yet another new-age dilettante in a cosmos that is crowded with such folks, offers a wide range of services, including but not limited to:

  • Master Healing Ministration
  • Soul Level Readings
  • Medical Intuitive Readings
  • Clairvoyant and Clairsentient Readings
  • Advanced Spiritually Oriented Sessions to Integrate the Immaculate Concept or Whole Light Being
  • Private and Group Training
  • Gift Development
  • State of Grace Results

Her fees are quite reasonable, considering the miraculous results that you may or may not experience. She charges $80.00 an hour for services "and a flat fee of $250 for the Integration of the Immaculate Concept." One caveat: "There are no guarantees. Most often, miracles do occur in the sessions." Glad we got that cleared up.

What qualifies Rev Carolyn to manifest these Miracles? Let me let her tell you herself:

I have been trained as to how to minister the lifting of form into light, and creating form from pure light for the purpose of bringing Wholeness and revealing, through experience, the Divinity Within, or the Holy Master Within. I work direct with Source, Lord Jesus and the Holy Spirit, Holy Feminine, Altered Magnetics, and through manipulating Sacred Geometry while directing energy through specific intention, and holding the position of witness and of knowing without doubt. I witness the client's Source healing them.

Hey, if she’s good enough for Jesus and the Altered Magnetics (does that sound like the name of a rock group to you?), she’s good enough for me.

And I can’t deny that Rev Carolyn delivers results, particularly when I read about these true-life cases, taken straight from her web site:

  • One woman advised me that after we worked, her hair color changed, and all the gray disappeared,** same woman had a large birth mark go poof from her face during the session.
  • One family with 10 animals noted that all the fleas in the house and on the pets went poof as we relocated them to the woods.
  • Lots of detox these days with liver cleanses, removal of fatty tissue in liver and walls of heart, eyes showing immense improvement, parasites disappearing, kidney detox, female hormone balance noted, PSA levels normalized, and unfortunately, for some, depossession of entities and entity removal. Also immediate improvement noted for congestive heart disease, which also seems to be popping up all over the place today, (4 cases in two weeks), edema disappeared due to neuropathy, and so much more.
  • Another advised me she levitated in the middle of a labyrinth following the work together with the Integration of the Immaculate Concept, witnessed by two other participants.

Rev Carolyn adds that many folks experience "radiating pure white light with pastel rainbow colors, with the flow of the River of Life, or Shakti flooding them. Their home is lifted into the Higher Frequencies of their 12th dimensional Holy Self, feeling like they are on an elevator. The most fun part to me is when their feet fill with liquid white light, and a soft gentle sweet feeling, alsmot (sic) cotton like, but liquid is felt within the feet, fully anchored within, helping them to recognize the Holiest of Holies is Within."

The Rev Carolyn is also a Medical Intuitive who offers "Bioenergetic Clairvoyant Readings." By phone or email, she can "scan" your bod and tell you what ails you. Of course she is not a medical doctor, as she carefully explains on her web site, though she says she prefers to work in cooperation with clients’ physicians. Here’s how she works:

She clairvoyantly scans the physical body by viewing the etheric template level of the organs, systems, genetic and cellular structure with great detail. If you have a skin condition, please let her know, as she does not arbitrarily view the skin. If you have had organs removed, they will still appear in the etheric template, often in the same condition prior to your surgery….

… She views the chakras, meridians, geometric evolution and energy connections, as well as the nervous system connectivity and flow. She scans past and parallel life integration. She scans for fragmented aspects of self, shadow self, self love patterning, the influence of judgements upon the flow of energy within the body, the inner child, DNA patterning, mental body patterning alignment as compared to the pattern of the divine blueprint….

And there’s more – much, much more.

But the item that really grabbed my attention on Rev Carolyn’s web site was the mention of the Cosmic Trigger Event. I bet you were wondering when I’d make my way back to that. Well, here we are.

It seems there was buzz all over the Internet about a cosmic wave set to occur on October 17, 2006, lasting for 17 hours. Its purpose was to aid us in magnifying thought to matter. Supposedly it was to be one of many cosmic triggers that will occur as humanity approaches the year 2012, the year when the world may or may not end, depending upon whose interpretation of Mayan prophecy you believe. According to Brenda McCann, who is, among other things, a Powerful Intender, "What is unique about the cosmic wave occurring on Oct 17th is that it is a magnifier and accelerator of thought to matter. Thought to Reality. You have an opportunity NOW to make a change to love and peace if you choose to do so."

A fellow who goes by the name of Raphiem/Blue (or maybe that’s who he channels), has shared a great deal of information about the Cosmic Trigger Event, which he refers to as Mission 1017. He wrote:

…An ultraviolet (UV) pulse beam radiating from higher dimensions in universe-2 will cross paths with the Earth on this day. Earth will remain approximately within this UV beam for 17 hours of your time…

This beam resonates with the heart chakra, it is radiant fluorescent in nature, blue/magenta in color. Although it resonates in this frequency band, it is above the color frequency spectrum of your universe-1 which you, Earth articulate in. However due to the nature of your soul and soul groups operating from Universe-2 frequency bands it will have an effect.

The effect is every thought and emotion will be amplified intensely one million-fold. Yes, we will repeat, all will be amplified one millions time and more.

Every thought, every emotion, every intent, every will, no matter if it is good, bad, ill, positive, negative, will be amplified one million times in strength….

…This UV beam thus can be a dangerous tool. For if you are focused on thoughts which are negative to your liking they will manifest into your reality almost instantly. Then again this UV beam can be a gift if you choose it to be.

Mission-1017 requires approximately one million people to focus on positive, benign, good willed thoughts for themselves and the Earth and Humanity on this day. Your thoughts can be of any nature of your choosing, but remember whatever you focus on will be made manifest in a relatively faster than anticipated time frame…

This UV beam comes into full affect for 17hrs on the 17th of October 2006. No matter what time zone you are in the hours are approximately 10:17am on the 17th of October to 1:17am on the 18th of October.

We require approximately 1-million people across globe to actively participate in this event. Please use whatever communication mediums you have at your disposal. Reach out to as many people as possible. We require 1-million plus people at the least to trigger a shift for humanity from separation and fragmentation to one of unification and oneness.

This is your opportunity to take back what is rightfully yours i.e. Peace and Prosperity for all Earth and Mankind.

As luck would have it, real life intruded once again on all of my grand cosmic plans. On October 17, The Rev (Ron, not Carolyn) and I had to take my mom to the doctor, and then we had some crises with his surrogate mom. And we had to deal with some thorny issues with clients and work as well. Bottom line: October 17 came and went, and I forgot to participate in the Cosmic Trigger Event. When I remembered it some time on October 19 or so, I felt like such a slacker. What if the Universe had failed to shift because of my lack of participation? More importantly (I’m a narcissist, after all), what if my own troubles were the result of my failure to take advantage of the mighty UV beam?

Well, I needn’t have worried about the Universe, because when I visited the Rev Carolyn’s web site just now I saw this joyful message:

More on 10/17/06!! We did it!!! We are Victorious!!! Thank you to all who participated in this amazing event!! I am told we will see the fruit of our efforts over the course of the next 4 weeks! What an amazing orchestration of Light in Action! It was one HUGE unified Creation!…We have created Miracles Beyond Measure!!! I took the liberty of our Gift to Multiply and called forth all Positive Thoughts to be multiplied 1M x 1M x 1M x 1M x 1M x 1M. No thing can stop the Positive Creation Unfolding. It is full steam ahead!!!…Celebration is in order!!!!!!!…All the Light of the Universe Dances with us in celebration!!…Ha ha ha ha ha Halelujiah (sic)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I’m still worried about me. The Universe, I figure, can take care of Itself. As for me, I’m going to keep a close watch on things from now on, and you can bet I’m going to have a finger on the next Cosmic Trigger. Or at least I’ll be ready to shoot a finger at the Big U if things don’t work out my way.

* Not to be confused with Robert Anton Wilson’s work, Cosmic Trigger. On second thought, maybe they are related. I’ve had the book for years but have never read it, and now it’s packed away somewhere and I can’t get to it easily. Why don’t you read it and let me know if there’s any connection? Better yet, send me an Amazon gift certificate so I can buy another copy. Make it a large-denomination gift certificate so I can buy a bunch of other stuff too.

** I have the same experience when I perform a secret monthly ritual involving a box of Clairol Natural Instincts.

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Blogger Steve Salerno said...

Cosmic, this is wonderful stuff. Truly. I know they're all a bit "different" out in Sedona--I spent a little bit of time on Hale Dwoskin and his vaunted Sedona Method in SHAM. But the way you take us through it here; it's just a lovely, seductive piece of comedic writing. I read it more than once just for the flow of it. Anyhoo, I thought I'd offer my 2 cents, which has been devalued to 1.5 cents, in light of SHAM's current standing on Amazon....

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 9:20:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you so much, Steve, and your opinion is worth way more than 2 cents to me. But y'know, I can't take all the credit here; I couldn't have done it without the Rev Carolyn. :-)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006 10:39:00 PM  

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