Showing posts with label Trump cologne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trump cologne. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 01, 2024

Trumpian crapitalism continues with tacky $100k watches (and crass exploitation of assassination attempts)

For nearly a week the Interwebs have been abuzz with yet another one of #NeverWasMyPresident DonOld Trump's endless efforts to suck all of the oxygen out of the room (while siphoning as much money as possible from the gullible): his gaudy $100,000 tourbillon watch collection. There are cheaper watches in the new Trump collection as well -- some as low as $499! -- but they just don't have that tourbillon magic, so take that into consideration when planning how to squander your retirement savings or your kid's college fund. (Hey, who needs college anyway? Trump veep creep JD Vance says that colleges make "worse people" and that universities should be destroyed.)

If you don't know much about watches, you may be asking, as many have (and as I no doubt would have if I'd actually cared enough), what a tourbillon is, since that's the thing, apart from the Trump name of course, that supposedly makes the $100k wrist bling so very, very special. Daniel Miller at the LA Times explains it
(via MSN, October 1, 2024):

Two hundred grams of gold. 122 diamonds. A $100,000 price tag. And "TRUMP" on the dial.

Flashy, yes, but the most notable feature in a
mechanical wristwatch debuted by former President Trump last week may be the anachronistic technology encasing its beating heart: a tourbillon.

The device, for which the watch is named, is an 18th century invention meant to improve accuracy by counteracting the effects of gravity on a watch's mechanism. It does so by suspending timekeeping components
in a rotating cage.

While visually interesting — the Trump watch's tourbillon is displayed via a cutout on its dial — it is no longer functionally necessary, owing to advances in watchmaking...

Even so, the tourbillon continues to be kind of a status-symbolish thing among snooty watch wearers. However, the tourbillon in Trump's tawdry offering doesn't justify the hefty price tag, according to folks who are in a position to know.

...among watch cognoscenti, the timepiece attracted instant opprobrium. In Instagram posts, WhatsApp group chats and TikTok videos, influential voices savaged the solid-gold watch over its appearance and cost...

...In
one online clip, Mike Nouveau, a vintage-watch dealer with a large online presence, calculated the value of some of the watch's parts, a tally far below its retail price. He said the timepiece featured an "off-the-shelf" tourbillon that costs less than $3,000.

Several industry experts said including a tourbillon in Trump's watch made sense.

"It is a beautiful mechanical parallel to Trump — here is a person who whirls around, and is shiny and flashy, but has no function or purpose and is entirely anachronistic in how he sees the world," said Phil Toledano, co-founder of the watch brand Toledano & Chan.

Well, I wouldn't say he's without function or purpose; Trump has proven to be a very useful tool indeed for tyrants overseas and Christofascist evildoers Stateside. But Toledano's point is well taken anyway.

Tons of other writers and commentators have been on watch watch as well, and many have really been having fun with the story (along with making some serious points about the grift). On September 27, 2024, Jonathan V. Last at the conservative Bulwark
posted a Q&A about the griftwatch collection.

Q. If I buy a Trump watch, will I get it in time to wear to the next insurrection?
A. Maybe. The website
says the watches will ship in October. Or November. Or December. Or maybe some other month?

Watches start shipping in October/November/December. . . . Shipping and delivery dates are estimates only and cannot be guaranteed. We are not liable for any delays in shipments. Your order will ship as it becomes available, so the earlier you buy, the quicker it will ship. Each watch is made to order.

“Made to order,” by the way, does not mean “bespoke.” It means “dropshipped.”

Q. Why is a billionaire bothering with this scam project?
Trump says that his Victory watches are limited to 147 pieces in total. But they’re offered in three colorways. I would bet he’s selling 147 of each, for a total of 441 pieces. At $100,000 per, that’s $44 million. Less the production costs, that’s still $35 million. Trump licensed his image and likeness to the company doing the watch sales—exactly as he did with his sneakers and NFTs. We don’t know what his percentage of the take is, but if it’s less than 75 percent, he’s a fool.

Because if you’re the watch guys, you bring nothing to the table except the ability to make this a turnkey operation that the Big Guy never has to think about.

What Trump brings to the table is: There is no business without him. He could find other fulfillment monkeys to handle his wares. The watch guys could not find another Donald Trump to sucker people into paying $100,000 for a $20,000 watch.

From Trump’s perspective, he puts in an hour of work—signing off on the design and taping his video spiel—and walks away with low eight figures.

Q. If this is such a good scam business, why didn’t Trump sell watches before?
A. He did. Perhaps you remember Trump Watches 1.0? He sold them in 2005
through Macy’s, with a typical retail price around $300. (This was before he had an army of mouth-breathing idiots panting after his merch.) In the main, these were gold-plated stainless steel pieces with Japanese movements. You can find them on eBay where as of yesterday—surprise!—people are trying to sell them for many thousands of dollars. Because game recognizes game, I guess...

Niece Mary Trump, also writing on September 27, 2024, had a few words as well:

Donald is not a builder—he has, in fact, created very few things in his life, unless you count the smoke and mirrors. Since he’s been unemployed over three years, he’s spent the bulk of his time playing and cheating at golf; but he’s also spent a considerable amount on his lucrative side-hustle: grifting his followers.

Sometimes the grift comes in the form of asking for campaign contributions that go to fund his legal expenses and not his campaign. Sometimes he hawks cheap products somebody pays him to slap his name on. In the last year alone we’ve gotten gold sneakers, non-fungible trading cards, bibles, and, most recently, watches.

Donald long ago learned that there’s no risk in selling his name—he gets paid up front, does a sales pitch, and cashes his check.

The new watches sell for anywhere from $499 to $100,000 (not a typo). The FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT collection (who among us hasn’t tried to raise money off of an assassination attempt in which people were actually killed?) includes a stainless-steel watch with a blood-red dial. The Victory Tourbillon comes in 18k yellow or rose gold and costs more than the average American makes in two years.

Following this, Mary discussed the site's disclaimers, which in themselves should be a huge red flag for anyone with any sense at all (and which the aforementioned Jonathan V. Last, as well as numerous other commentators, also covered). Then she added:

In a slimy video that would be stunning in its ridiculousness coming from any other presidential candidate, Donald tells us the $100,000 watch is made with almost 200 grams of gold and “more than 100 real diamonds. That’s a lot of diamonds. I love gold. I love diamonds. We all do.”

Jesus.

There are much, much worse things about Donald Trump than his shameless hucksterism, but leveraging the presidency in this way is truly grotesque. Despite the fact that we’ve learned to expect nothing, it’s still shocking that corporate media considers that this ugly aspect of a presidential candidate is something we all should ignore—or accept.

Indeed.

On a more serious note, on a September 30 Bulwark piece, Jonathan Last suggested that
Trump's watch scheme is specifically designed to skirt bribery laws. Last described a method by which a theoretical politician could monetize his power:

  • The politician publicly sells some valueless good—let’s say, magic beans—at a wildly inflated price. Say, $100,000.
  • Very few people would pay $100,000 for magic beans.
  • But an individual who wants to influence the politician might buy lots of them. This individual might say something like, “Yes, I will take $1,000,000 worth of your magic beans.”
  • The politician takes the money and winks. It would be implicitly understood that the politician owes this individual an unspecified favor in the indeterminate future.
  • I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice, but this arrangement is probably not illegal.

You can see the logistical problems with this arrangement. It is complicated and the implied contract has been abstracted. The briber doesn’t always get the chance to say explicitly beforehand, “I will buy $1 million of magic beans and then at a later date, you will do X for me” and confirm an agreement from the politician. And the more abstract the exchange is, the harder it is for both parties to be satisfied.

But that’s the tradeoff for mitigating criminal exposure.

And to further insulate himself, Last wrote, a pol could sell the overpriced crap during his campaign -- that is, before being elected to office should he win -- and he could run the sales through a third party. Which, of course, is precisely what DonOld is doing. Draw your own conclusions.

Media types haven't been the only ones who've weighed in on Watchgate, of course. Countless social media commenters and meme-makers/sharers have also attacked this appalling grift, with many pointing out that the very same political party that is crying crocodile tears over average consumers struggling with sky-high grocery prices (supposedly because of Biden/Harris) has chosen for their presidential candidate a sleazy salesman who is encouraging those same aggrieved consumers to sink their dollars into tacky, egregiously overpriced merch. I would say that this blatant inconsistency is a sign of tone deafness, but that's being far too kind: it's really just a toxic mix of plain old cynicism and hunger for power at any cost.

The watches are just the latest in a long line of Trumpian crapitalistic endeavors
And with that sub-head I've just overstated the obvious once again, but that's what I do best on this blog.

Trump of course is a lifelong huckster, but his hucksterism has increased greatly since he entered politix. It was only a few months ago that he was making news with his tacky gold $400 high-top clown shoes,
to which we paid tribute on this Whirled, of course. If you didn't grab a pair for yourself early on, too bad for you: according to the web site, The Never Surrender High-Tops ("Bold, gold, and tough, just like President Trump") are SOLD OUT. (Wait. "...just like President Trump?" Shouldn't the shoes be orange?)

Anyway, only 1,000 pairs were slated to be released. I've been Googling and Bing-ing in an effort to find out if any shoes were actually ever shipped, but I haven't been able get details. I suppose we will just have to take it on faith that there are 1,000 proud Never Surrender High-Top wearers who are the envy of all of their friends and neighbors and local professional clown associations.

A few months after the gold shoes came out, and just in time for Holy Week (for those non-Orthodox Christians who celebrate Easter), the Trump grift machine announced, completely without irony,
the $60 Trump Bible, which was actually a new way to sell an older product that hadn't been doing so well until it was blessed with the official Orange Stain. I haven't been able to get sales figures on that holy tome, but the web site indicates that it's still actively on the market: "IN STOCK NOW FOR QUICK SHIPPING."

And the good news is that now there are two Very Special Editions of the Trump Bible -- I mean, even special-er than the original. To begin with, as part of the endless exploitation of
the July 13, 2024 assassination attempt against Cheeto Jeezus (which has been a fundrazing BONANZA for Trump), there is The Day God Intervened Edition:

God Bless The USA Bible – “The Day God Intervened” Edition

This beautiful God Bless The USA Bible has been custom embossed to [sic] in remembrance of the day that God intervened during President Donald J. Trump’s assassination attempt.

DONALD J. TRUMP
45TH PRESIDENT
OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
THE DAY GOD INTERVENED
JULY 13, 2024

In the interests of setting the record straight, however, I must mention that God Himself hath declared, "Hey, don't blame me." Sayeth the Lord:

Do you really think I’d waste my divine power on the Tangerine Palpatine? Come on, folks, for once just PLEASE give God a break. I’ve got better things to do, like making sure the sun rises every day and keeping the universe from falling apart. And playing with Lego. You really think I’d step in to save that conman who can’t string two coherent thoughts together?

And if you think I saved Donald’s life, then why did I let the innocent bystander die? Huh? HUH?!? Do you Trump supporting Christians realize how crazy you all sound?? Of course you don’t, because you’re batshit. 

But never mind Him; He's just God. Trump is the real Almighty, and you really need to pick up this new edition. Like the original, it's only $60.00. What have ya got to lose?

If you're a true Bible collector and truly loyal to Trump, there's also a very limited edition now available: the President Donald J. Trump Signature Edition God Bless The USA Bible:

President Donald J. Trump Signature Edition God Bless The USA Bible

Limited Edition
Only 1000 Available!
While Supplies Last!
Each Bible Contains President Donald J. Trump’s Hand-Signed Signature

Hand-signed, as opposed to printed... which presumably means that Trump sat down with his Sharpie and signed 1,000 Bibles. Think of that: he took time off from golfing and boasting about his crowd sizes and griping about Kamala's resume and I.Q. to sign those Bibles just for you!

That's why they're worth every penny of the $1,000.00 price (plus $100.00-plus shipping). Heck of a deal.

The shoes and Bibles and watches are, of course, just a few of a seemingly endless string of Trump's crapitalistic ventures. On September 26, 2024, Rolling Stone published
a more comprehensive examination of recent Trump merch. Included are what Rolling Stone describes as "assassination attempt cologne."

Trump has made hay over the assassination attempt against him in July, both through campaign fundraising and hawking merchandise — including “Fight Fight Fight” cologne and perfume. “This scent is your rallying cry in a bottle,” the description of the cologne reads. “Featuring Trump’s iconic image and raised fist, this limited-edition cologne embodies strength, power, and victory.” The perfume is intended for “women who embody strength and grace, like President Trump.” Both are for sale for $129.

The "Fight Fight Fight" Trump-odor series is not to be confused with the "Trump Victory 47" stinkum that was being pushed back in February along with the clown shoes.

And all of the above is in addition to Trump's long history of grift preceding his entry into politix -- e.g.,
Trump University and The Trump Network. Not to mention his entire history of shady and corrupt business practices...

In other words, watches and Bibles and shoes and toilet water are just the tip of the iceberg.

With Trump, now as in the past and in the future, it's really all about the grift. And if he can land another gig in the White House, you can bet that in addition to being an instrument in destroying American democracy for good, he'll be making bank in a big way. Meanwhile, most of the rest of us will still be struggling with soaring food, housing, fuel, and healthcare costs, and Trump and his uber-rich allies won't give a damn about any of that.

Vote Blue in November.

Before you leave...
This has been, through what is no apparent fault of her own (excluding, perhaps karmic matters that are quite beyond her ability to comprehend), a nightmare of a year for the ruler of this Whirled. Money, alas, cannot make the nightmare go away, but it can make it easier to bear. Now more than ever, donations are urgently needed and profoundly appreciated. Here are some ways to do it:

  • New: Venmo -- username @Connie-Schmidt-42. Here is a direct link to the Venmo page.
    New: PayPal --
    Here is a direct link to Cosmic Connie's PayPal page.
    Old but still good: You can click on the "Donate" icon that currently appears on the right-hand side of every page of this blog on the Web version. There's also a donation link at the end of many of my older blog posts. In the case of both the icon and the links on the older posts,
    this is also a PayPal link, but it references the email account of Cosmic Connie's husband, RevRon -- which is cool, because it all ultimately goes to the same place.

NOTE: If you are donating by PayPal, please specify that your contribution is a gift, which it is (as opposed to a conventional purchase, for which PayPal deducts a percentage for their fee).

Whether you can donate or not, thank you for visiting this Whirled.

Monday, February 19, 2024

Garish gold sneakers and eau d'ouche: more Trumpish trash for sale

 

All that glitters can be sold, especially to suckers with more money than sense (or taste), and Donald Trump knows this better than just about anyone else. He also knows that there's more than one way to get those suckers to pay for the troubles that he brought on himself.

The Trumpcult GoFundMe grift run by billionaire Scamworld/Scientologist couple Grant and Elena Cardone, which we visited at length
on the previous Whirled post, has so far managed to collect over half a million bucks from tens of thousands of suckers, supposedly to pay $355 million of Donald Trump's New York civil fraud fine. And the money just keeps coming in. At the time I'm writing this, the top donation is an anonymous gift of $10,000.

Half a mil plus is a lot of money, but it's still a long, long way from $355 mil, not to mention the nearly $100k in interest for that same civil fraud judgment, not to mention all of the other money Trump owes so far as a result of being determined by various courts to be a fraudster and a defamer and a rapist sex abuser. As things stand now, he owes a small fortune.

But don't cry for Donny. Trump knows better than just about anyone else that if you're a skillful enough con artist/cult leader, there's more than one way to get the suckers to pay for the troubles you brought upon yourself. Besides having your scammy, scummy pals crowdsource a shipload of money for you, you can also slap your famous name on some more trashy products and sell them, or at least the promise of them, for outrageous prices. And it will work great, at least for a while.

Put on your hi-top sneakers, wear your red cap on your head
For instance, there are the high-top shoes that are making the news: those $400 Trump-branded
"Never Surrender" garish gold sneakers that reportedly sold out within hours of their launch. Introduced at an event in Philly known as SneakerCon (emphasis on the "con," in this case), "Never Surrender" was presented as a "super limited edition" of only 1,000 pairs. We'll just see how "limited" they really are, though. I'm betting that if there's enough demand, there will be a second run "for a limited time only," of course, and then a third, and a fourth...

It occurs to me that
"Never Surrender" was a hit song in the 80s by Canadian rocker/poseur Corey Hart. Another big hit of his was "Sunglasses At Night." I'm thinking that if you're in the same room with anyone who is wearing those gilded Trumpshoes, you are probably going to have to wear sunglasses whether it's day or night. At any rate, "Never Surrender" is a bold statement, but then again, so was "Never Back Down" -- and look where that got former presidential candidate and guv'ner of Floriduh Ron DeSantis. But I digress.

One of my favorite wags,
Rex Huppke, had a lot to say about Trump's sneaker scheme. From USA Today, February 19, 2024:

The new Trump sneakers look like Trump's arrogance in shoe form

Remarkably, the sneakers look exactly like the kind of sneaker you'd expect from [someone] who created a fake university named after himself and then settle had to pay $25 million to lawsuits accusing him of fraud.

The sneakers are (possibly spray-painted?) gold, including the laces. They have a big “T” on them in various places. And they have a sort-of American flag thingy wrapped around the ankles.

They're the go-to athletic shoe for people fleeing responsibility.

Huppke has an alternative suggestion for president-branded footwear that just might take off.

I recommend a durable-but-comfortable line of already-broken-in Biden Slippers. The motto is simple: “You should trust what you put your feet in. Not gold … just old, tough and cozy.”

They could give them away for free, as Biden has the distinct advantage of not owing more than half-a-billion dollars in penalties for fraud and defamation.

Seems like a shoe-in.

I'll take two pairs of those.

There may or may not be another run, or perhaps several, of the gaudy gold footwear, but just in case there isn't, or if there is but you simply don't have the bucks for a pair of the golden Trumpshoes and still want to contribute to The Cause while letting everyone know what a loyal cult member you are when you wear Trump merch out in public, no worries.
The same web site that sells the gold high-tops also offers low-top red sneakers called the T-Red Wave, as well as white ones dubbed POTUS 45 -- for only $199 each. You can pre-order them now, but be aware that there is a STRICT LIMIT OF 3 PAIRS PER CUSTOMER.

They'll smell you coming a mile away
If even the $200 sneakers are too rich for your blood, but you still want to help your idol, there's another Trump-branded product, sold on the same web site as the sneakers, that's poised to make a big splash and will only set you back 99 bucks:
Trump Victory 47 perfume or cologne.

Advance reviews are already pouring in,
at least on Reddit.

16h ago

I find this to be pretty one dimensional as it opens strongly with Filet-O-Fish and drys down relatively quickly to hamberders.

The elixir adds covfefe but generally feels as vapid and self-aggrandizing as the original.

Probably pass on this one and go straight for Deep Corruption: EDN(epotism).

And...

7h ago

I splashed on some Trump Victory 47 cologne before going into the Indian Casino in Quapaw Oklahoma. Never in my life has a cologne attracted so many fine women. I went in alone and went to Super 8 with 5 honeys

From what I've been reading on the Interwebz, Trump is in a position to release an entire line of fragrances, and I think he should. There's so much inspiration, according to some folks who have been in the same room with him.

So there you have it: the latest in a long line of Trump-branded products and services. I'm sure there's more to come. I would say caveat emptor, but if you're among the sane, you already know that, and if you're a MAGA you won't listen. But at least there is a disclaimer on the footwear-and-fragrance web site: "Trump sneakers and fragrances are intended for individual enjoyment and as a collectible and not for investment purposes."

A deep well of fraud in The Cowboy State
Another disclaimer on the sneakers-and-stinkum web site states, "Trump Sneakers are not designed, manufactured, distributed or sold by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization or any of their respective affiliates or principals." The web site also states, "45Footwear, LLC uses the Trump name, image and likeness under a license agreement." But it also says that the products are registered trademarks of CIC Ventures LLC,
which Trump reported owning in his 2023 financial disclosure.

And it will probably come as no surprise, since this involves Trump, but this venture points to yet another Scamworld-and-politix connection (notwithstanding yet another disclaimer/bald-faced lie on the shoe/pee-yoo site that there's nothin' political goin' on here). The 45Footwear LLC mentioned above is registered in one of the current fraud capitals of the world, a little town in my birth state of Wyoming. One of my favorite authors and commentators, Kurt Eichenwald, whom I follow on Xitter, is on the case. On February 18, 2024, Eichenwald posted this:

How....expected. The tiny town that is the registered location of the LLC paying Trump for the right to make his shoes - Sheridan Wyoming - is the central registration hometown of LLCs operated by crooks from around the world.

He cited an April 5, 2022 Washington Post piece about Wyoming's attraction for frauds from all over the globe. It's worth a read.

Bleeding the dupes dry
For years, Trump and his allies have had excellent luck sucking money from the loyal MAGA fan base, with thousands of small-dollar donations adding up to some massive big-dollar totals. But will these be enough to cover the humongous fines that Trump is now facing? Probably not, no matter how many shiny shoes and T-brand toilet water and other overpriced products the Trump team comes up with.

Conservative Rick Wilson is one person who thinks the T-merch gravy train, if not on the verge of derailment, won't be enough to bail Trump out. From
Raw Story, February 18, 2024:

Wilson, whose group of current and former Republicans opposing Trump recently put out an A.I. ad recreating Trump's disapproving father, appeared on MSNBC's Ayman on Sunday, where he was asked about Trump's money troubles.

Specifically, the host asked how many golden sneakers Trump would have to sell to make a "dent" in his debts...

..."There's a certain amount of money are gonna be able to raise from the MAGA voter pool in small-dollar donations," he added. "And they have bled that list of people dry."

He continued: "They have bled those people to the point where they're waiting for their social security or their disability check to come in every month before they can kick in another 25 bucks to save Donald Trump from the deep state, or whatever fantasy he's selling them."

Finally, Wilson said, "It is a powerful bond, but that's not going to give him the amount of cash he needs in this deal in time to avoid further consequences to his personal finances and his corporate finances."

Unfortunately, even if it isn't able to give him the amount of cash he needs, that powerful bond that Wilson describes may very well give Trump the votes he needs to retake the White House, and overturn democracy and the rule of law. (Which of course is why we have to outvote the MAGAs.)

And notwithstanding Wilson's most likely accurate assessment that many of the donors in the MAGA voter pool are living on Social Security and disability, there do seem to be significant numbers of folks who have much, much more than 25 bucks to toss into the big black hole. Or the big orange hole, as the case may be. Again, reference
the GoFundMe page that Trump's Scientology buds are running. I just peeked at it, and the total is nearing $684,000 as I'm writing this [on February 20, 2024; this part of the post is an update].

If the cheap shoe fits...
For those who prefer to look on the bright side, which is becoming increasingly more challenging, there is the possibility of widespread customer disillusionment regarding the gold-shoes gimmick, which might possibly lead to some breaking away from the cult. That's probably overly optimistic, but in any case,
a February 19, 2024 article on TheSpun.com emphasizes the fact that anyone who has shelled out hundreds of dollars for Trump's special shoes is only buying the promise of said shoes, and won't be able to actually get them until at least sometime this summer. And that's providing everything goes as currently planned.

...anyone ordering Trump's sneakers might want to check the fine print.

The fine print estimates that Trump's sneakers won't ship until the summer, and the Trump team is not liable for any delays in shipping. So, it could be a while before you actually get your President 45 sneakers.

"Shipping and delivery dates are estimates only and cannot be guaranteed. We are not liable for any delays in shipments," the fine print noted.

This is eerily similar to Big Baller Brand. LaVar Ball infamously launched his own sneaker brand, rather than having his oldest son, Lonzo Ball, signing with a Nike/adidas/etc.

The shoes were popular on social media, but cost two to three times a typical basketball shoe, and also had some major shipping problems. It took months for fans who ordered Big Baller Brand shoes to actually get them...

The article adds that ultimately Big Baller stopped making shoes, but then noted that with only 1,000 pairs of the Trumpshoes being made, the manufacturing and shipping process should be easier.

I'm not so sure about that, particularly since, as I indicated above, we can't even trust that the Never Surrender clown-shoe run will indeed be limited to only 1,000 pairs. Never underestimate the power of the infamous
false-scarcity marketing strategy. And the piece on TheSpun doesn't mention the other merchandise listed on the sneakers website: the two varieties of low-tops and the Trump fragrance, all of which are also available only for pre-order. There will be no instant gratification for any of this stuff, in other words.

On a February 20, 2024 piece on the conservative Bulwark, Joe Perticone, who appears to actually know something about the sneaker market, offered his perspective on the gaudy griftwear.

...it’s important to understand that the online sneaker market is Grifter City. Pure garbage is upsold for insane amounts over the manufacturer’s suggested retail price (MSRP). This excess value is determined by a number of different factors: scarcity, what’s currently (and fleetingly) considered “cool,” and unpredictable events—for example, the sighting of a celebrity wearing the yet-to-be-released kicks. Scarcity is the only factor that is in any way quantifiable, which is one of the reasons the online sneaker market is so volatile that it makes cryptocurrency look like the S&P 500.

In addition, shoes are often obtained by unscrupulous (if not illegal) means. Dedicated sellers will game
online drops with bots, teenagers will camp out in front of stores before they open, and, in an example I find particularly galling, non-skateboarders will swarm skate shops to buy up shoes many skaters would prefer to rip to shreds by actually wearing them.

Lastly, if you’re not already sitting down, please take a seat before reading this next sentence: Donald Trump occasionally lends his name to inferior products for the sake of a quick cash grab.

To my eye, the
Q Trainer 1s Trump sneakers appear to be cheap wholesale shoes with some shiny branding stitched on the sides. They don’t carry the material heft associated with premium sneakers, such as soles made by top-tier Italian producers like Margom or Vibram.

It’s also telling that they are years behind the current sneaker trends. Design time for anything in the world of original fashion can vary a lot: Many designers will work for three to six months on a collection, while others
move at their own pace, sometimes taking years.

The team behind Trump’s MAGA Stan Smiths appears to have borrowed their design of the shoe from the waning days of the George W. Bush administration. The $399 gold “Never Surrender High Top Sneakers” are reminiscent of the
Adidas high-tops designed by Jeremy Scott and popularized by rapper Lil Wayne during the late 2000s. Meanwhile, Trump’s other two sneakers—a $199 design that comes in red (“T-Red Wave”) or white (“POTUS 45”)—bring to mind the sock-style shoes that have been around for decades but took the sneaker market by storm in recent years thanks to innovative designs by Kanye West, the disgraced antisemitic rapper and producer whose long, fraught collaboration with Adidas changed the sneaker industry. 

Both of the Trump styles are very much
out at the moment.

But who knows -- maybe they'll be in again by the time they ship, assuming that they will actually ship (keep in mind that sketchy Wyoming-registered LLC).

By the way, you've probably heard by now that when discussing the golden clown shoes, a Fox "News" contributor, Raymond Arroyo, recently claimed that Black people will vote for Trump because they love sneakers. There's been a lot of blowback over that ludicrous statement. For instance, here's Mike Freeman for USA Today (February 23, 2024):

This wildly racist, and just plain odd stance, that Black people are so dumb, and so easily swayed, that large swaths of Black voters would back Trump simply because he rolled out the worst shoes ever invented, reminds me of when right-wing politicians and analysts said after Trump was booked in Georgia for one of his googolplex of criminal cases that Trump's mugshot would make him more popular with Black Americans. The reasoning for that is...because Black people identify with criminals more? I guess? Though I have to say The Wire is an excellent show.

In the last Presidential election,
AP VoteCast reported that eight percent of Black Americans voted for Trump. There are the usual stories appearing now about increasing numbers of Black men wanting to support Trump but if anyone believes that a bunch of Black people are going to back Trump because of shoes, you must really think incredibly low of us. Just like Trump does.

The reason right-wing people tell these stories about us, these lies, really, is because they see Black Americans in one dimension. In some cases, if not many, yes, it is just plain racism. But in others, it is just profound ignorance.

Ignorance and racism are the two main characteristics of the MAGA base, along with bad taste, of course. And until I see credible evidence to the contrary, I think that for as long as they can possibly manage it, the MAGAs will continue to throw their money away on Trumpy trash, and they'll continue to donate as much money as they can to save their Savior -- while at the same time they will continue to whine about how Biden has tanked the economy so badly that middle-class Americans can no longer cover the basic costs of living. As I said, we gotta outvote them.

This post has been updated and amended since its original publication on February 19, 2024. ~CC

If you're moved to do something better with your money than giving it to a fraudster,
consider giving a gift to this Whirled. You won't get gold shoes or cheap overpriced cologne, but you would be giving to a good cause. I'd really appreciate it.