All that glitters can be sold,
especially to suckers with more money than sense (or taste), and Donald
Trump knows this better than just about anyone else. He also
knows that there's more than one way to get those suckers to pay
for the troubles that he brought on himself.
The Trumpcult GoFundMe grift run by billionaire
Scamworld/Scientologist couple Grant and Elena Cardone, which we
visited at length on the previous Whirled post,
has so far managed to collect over half a million bucks from
tens of thousands of suckers, supposedly to pay $355 million of
Donald Trump's New York civil fraud fine. And the money just
keeps coming in. At the time I'm writing this, the top donation
is an anonymous gift of $10,000.
Half a mil plus is a lot of money, but it's still
a long, long way from $355 mil, not to mention the nearly $100k
in interest for that same civil fraud judgment, not to mention
all of the other money Trump owes so far as a result of being
determined by various courts to be a fraudster and a defamer and
a rapist sex abuser. As things stand now, he owes a small fortune.
But don't cry for Donny. Trump knows better than
just about anyone else that if you're a skillful enough con
artist/cult leader, there's more than one way to get the suckers
to pay for the troubles you brought upon yourself. Besides having
your scammy, scummy pals crowdsource a shipload of money for you,
you can also slap your famous name on some more trashy products
and sell them, or at least the promise of them, for outrageous
prices. And it will work great, at least for a while.
Put on your hi-top sneakers,
wear your red cap on your head
For instance, there are the high-top shoes that are making the
news: those $400 Trump-branded "Never Surrender" garish gold sneakers that
reportedly sold out within hours of their launch. Introduced at an event in Philly known as SneakerCon
(emphasis on the "con," in this case), "Never
Surrender" was presented as a "super limited
edition" of only 1,000 pairs. We'll just see how
"limited" they really are, though. I'm betting that if
there's enough demand, there will be a second run "for a
limited time only," of course, and then a third, and a
fourth...
It occurs to me that "Never Surrender"
was a hit song in the 80s by Canadian rocker/poseur Corey Hart. Another big hit of
his was "Sunglasses At Night." I'm thinking that if you're in the same room with
anyone who is wearing those gilded Trumpshoes, you are probably
going to have to wear sunglasses whether it's day or night. At any
rate, "Never Surrender" is a bold statement, but then
again, so was "Never Back Down" -- and look where that got
former presidential candidate and guv'ner of Floriduh Ron
DeSantis. But I digress.
One of my favorite wags, Rex Huppke, had a lot to say
about Trump's sneaker scheme. From USA Today, February 19, 2024:
The new Trump sneakers look like Trump's arrogance in shoe form
Remarkably, the sneakers look exactly like the kind of sneaker you'd expect from [someone] who created a fake university named after himself and then settle had to pay $25 million to lawsuits accusing him of fraud.
The sneakers are (possibly spray-painted?) gold, including the laces. They have a big “T” on them in various places. And they have a sort-of American flag thingy wrapped around the ankles.
They're the go-to athletic shoe for people fleeing responsibility.
Huppke has an alternative suggestion for president-branded footwear that just might take off.
I recommend a durable-but-comfortable line of already-broken-in Biden Slippers. The motto is simple: “You should trust what you put your feet in. Not gold … just old, tough and cozy.”
They could give them away for free, as Biden has the distinct advantage of not owing more than half-a-billion dollars in penalties for fraud and defamation.
Seems like a shoe-in.
I'll take two pairs of those.
There may or may not be another run, or perhaps several, of the
gaudy gold footwear, but just in case there isn't, or if there is
but you simply don't have the bucks for a pair of the golden Trumpshoes and
still want to contribute to The Cause while letting everyone know
what a loyal cult member you are when you wear Trump merch out in public, no
worries. The same web site that sells the gold high-tops also offers low-top red sneakers called the T-Red Wave,
as well as white ones dubbed POTUS 45 -- for only $199 each. You
can pre-order them now, but be aware that there is a STRICT LIMIT
OF 3 PAIRS PER CUSTOMER.
They'll smell you coming a mile
away
If even the $200 sneakers are too rich for your blood, but you
still want to help your idol, there's another Trump-branded
product, sold on the same web site as the sneakers, that's poised
to make a big splash and will only set you back 99 bucks: Trump Victory 47 perfume or cologne.
Advance reviews are already pouring in, at least on Reddit.
I find this to be pretty one dimensional as it opens strongly with Filet-O-Fish and drys down relatively quickly to hamberders.
The elixir adds covfefe but generally feels as vapid and self-aggrandizing as the original.
Probably pass on this one and go straight for Deep Corruption: EDN(epotism).
And...
I splashed on some Trump Victory 47 cologne before going into the Indian Casino in Quapaw Oklahoma. Never in my life has a cologne attracted so many fine women. I went in alone and went to Super 8 with 5 honeys
From what I've been reading on the Interwebz,
Trump is in a position to release an entire line of fragrances,
and I think he should. There's so much inspiration, according to some folks who have been in the same room
with him.
So there you have it: the latest in a long line of Trump-branded products and services. I'm sure there's more to come. I would say caveat
emptor, but if you're among the sane, you already know that,
and if you're a MAGA you won't listen. But at least there is a
disclaimer on the footwear-and-fragrance web site: "Trump
sneakers and fragrances are intended for individual enjoyment and
as a collectible and not for investment purposes."
A deep well of fraud in The
Cowboy State
Another disclaimer on the sneakers-and-stinkum web site states,
"Trump Sneakers are not designed, manufactured, distributed
or sold by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization or any of
their respective affiliates or principals." The web site
also states, "45Footwear, LLC uses the Trump name, image and
likeness under a license agreement." But it also says that
the products are registered trademarks of CIC Ventures LLC, which Trump reported owning in his 2023 financial
disclosure.
And it will probably come as no surprise, since
this involves Trump, but this venture points to yet another
Scamworld-and-politix connection (notwithstanding yet another
disclaimer/bald-faced lie on the shoe/pee-yoo site that there's
nothin' political goin' on here). The 45Footwear LLC mentioned
above is registered in one of the current fraud capitals of the
world, a little town in my birth state of Wyoming. One of my
favorite authors and commentators, Kurt Eichenwald, whom I follow on Xitter, is on the case. On February 18, 2024, Eichenwald posted this:
How....expected. The tiny town that is the registered location of the LLC paying Trump for the right to make his shoes - Sheridan Wyoming - is the central registration hometown of LLCs operated by crooks from around the world.
He cited an April 5, 2022 Washington Post piece about Wyoming's
attraction for frauds from all over the
globe. It's worth a read.
Bleeding the dupes dry
For years, Trump and his allies have had excellent
luck sucking money from the loyal MAGA fan base, with thousands
of small-dollar donations adding up to some massive big-dollar
totals. But will these be enough to cover the humongous fines
that Trump is now facing? Probably not, no matter how many shiny
shoes and T-brand toilet water and other overpriced products the
Trump team comes up with.
Conservative Rick Wilson is one person who thinks the T-merch
gravy train, if not on the verge of derailment, won't be enough
to bail Trump out. From Raw Story, February 18, 2024:
Wilson, whose group of current and former Republicans opposing Trump recently put out an A.I. ad recreating Trump's disapproving father, appeared on MSNBC's Ayman on Sunday, where he was asked about Trump's money troubles.
Specifically, the host asked how many golden sneakers Trump would have to sell to make a "dent" in his debts...
..."There's a certain amount of money are gonna be able to raise from the MAGA voter pool in small-dollar donations," he added. "And they have bled that list of people dry."
He continued: "They have bled those people to the point where they're waiting for their social security or their disability check to come in every month before they can kick in another 25 bucks to save Donald Trump from the deep state, or whatever fantasy he's selling them."
Finally, Wilson said, "It is a powerful bond, but that's not going to give him the amount of cash he needs in this deal in time to avoid further consequences to his personal finances and his corporate finances."
Unfortunately, even if it isn't able to give him
the amount of cash he needs, that powerful bond that Wilson
describes may very well give Trump the votes he needs to
retake the White House, and overturn democracy and the rule of law. (Which of course is why we have to outvote the MAGAs.)
And notwithstanding Wilson's most likely accurate assessment that many of the donors
in the MAGA voter pool are living on Social Security and
disability, there do seem to be significant numbers of folks
who have much, much more than 25 bucks to toss into the big black
hole. Or the big orange hole, as the case may be. Again,
reference the GoFundMe page that Trump's Scientology buds are running. I just peeked at it, and the total is
nearing $684,000 as I'm writing this [on February 20, 2024; this
part of the post is an update].
If the cheap shoe fits...
For those who prefer to look on the bright side, which is
becoming increasingly more challenging, there is the possibility
of widespread customer disillusionment regarding the gold-shoes
gimmick, which might possibly lead to some breaking away from the
cult. That's probably overly optimistic, but in any case, a February 19, 2024 article on TheSpun.com emphasizes the fact that anyone who has shelled out
hundreds of dollars for Trump's special shoes is only buying the promise
of said shoes, and won't be able to actually get them until at
least sometime this summer. And that's providing everything goes
as currently planned.
...anyone ordering Trump's sneakers might want to check the fine print.
The fine print estimates that Trump's sneakers won't ship until the summer, and the Trump team is not liable for any delays in shipping. So, it could be a while before you actually get your President 45 sneakers.
"Shipping and delivery dates are estimates only and cannot be guaranteed. We are not liable for any delays in shipments," the fine print noted.
This is eerily similar to Big Baller Brand. LaVar Ball infamously launched his own sneaker brand, rather than having his oldest son, Lonzo Ball, signing with a Nike/adidas/etc.
The shoes were popular on social media, but cost two to three times a typical basketball shoe, and also had some major shipping problems. It took months for fans who ordered Big Baller Brand shoes to actually get them...
The article adds that ultimately Big Baller
stopped making shoes, but then noted that with only 1,000 pairs
of the Trumpshoes being made, the manufacturing and shipping
process should be easier.
I'm not so sure about that, particularly since, as I indicated
above, we can't even trust that the Never Surrender clown-shoe
run will indeed be limited to only 1,000 pairs. Never underestimate the
power of the infamous false-scarcity marketing strategy. And the piece on TheSpun doesn't mention the other
merchandise listed on the sneakers website: the two varieties of
low-tops and the Trump fragrance, all of which are also available
only for pre-order. There will be no instant gratification for
any of this stuff, in other words.
On a February 20, 2024 piece on the conservative Bulwark, Joe Perticone, who appears to actually know something
about the sneaker market, offered his perspective on the gaudy
griftwear.
...it’s important to understand that the online sneaker market is Grifter City. Pure garbage is upsold for insane amounts over the manufacturer’s suggested retail price (MSRP). This excess value is determined by a number of different factors: scarcity, what’s currently (and fleetingly) considered “cool,” and unpredictable events—for example, the sighting of a celebrity wearing the yet-to-be-released kicks. Scarcity is the only factor that is in any way quantifiable, which is one of the reasons the online sneaker market is so volatile that it makes cryptocurrency look like the S&P 500.
In addition, shoes are often obtained by unscrupulous (if not illegal) means. Dedicated sellers will game online drops with bots, teenagers will camp out in front of stores before they open, and, in an example I find particularly galling, non-skateboarders will swarm skate shops to buy up shoes many skaters would prefer to rip to shreds by actually wearing them.
Lastly, if you’re not already sitting down, please take a seat before reading this next sentence: Donald Trump occasionally lends his name to inferior products for the sake of a quick cash grab.
To my eye, theQ Trainer 1sTrump sneakers appear to be cheap wholesale shoes with some shiny branding stitched on the sides. They don’t carry the material heft associated with premium sneakers, such as soles made by top-tier Italian producers like Margom or Vibram.
It’s also telling that they are years behind the current sneaker trends. Design time for anything in the world of original fashion can vary a lot: Many designers will work for three to six months on a collection, while others move at their own pace, sometimes taking years.
The team behind Trump’s MAGA Stan Smiths appears to have borrowed their design of the shoe from the waning days of the George W. Bush administration. The $399 gold “Never Surrender High Top Sneakers” are reminiscent of the Adidas high-tops designed by Jeremy Scott and popularized by rapper Lil Wayne during the late 2000s. Meanwhile, Trump’s other two sneakers—a $199 design that comes in red (“T-Red Wave”) or white (“POTUS 45”)—bring to mind the sock-style shoes that have been around for decades but took the sneaker market by storm in recent years thanks to innovative designs by Kanye West, the disgraced antisemitic rapper and producer whose long, fraught collaboration with Adidas changed the sneaker industry.
Both of the Trump styles are very much out at the moment.
But who knows -- maybe they'll be in
again by the time they ship, assuming that they will actually
ship (keep in mind that sketchy Wyoming-registered LLC).
By the way, you've probably heard by now that when discussing the golden clown shoes, a Fox "News" contributor, Raymond Arroyo, recently claimed that Black people will vote for Trump because they love sneakers. There's been a lot of blowback over that ludicrous statement. For instance, here's Mike Freeman for USA Today (February 23, 2024):
This wildly racist, and just plain odd stance, that Black people are so dumb, and so easily swayed, that large swaths of Black voters would back Trump simply because he rolled out the worst shoes ever invented, reminds me of when right-wing politicians and analysts said after Trump was booked in Georgia for one of his googolplex of criminal cases that Trump's mugshot would make him more popular with Black Americans. The reasoning for that is...because Black people identify with criminals more? I guess? Though I have to say The Wire is an excellent show.
In the last Presidential election, AP VoteCast reported that eight percent of Black Americans voted for Trump. There are the usual stories appearing now about increasing numbers of Black men wanting to support Trump but if anyone believes that a bunch of Black people are going to back Trump because of shoes, you must really think incredibly low of us. Just like Trump does.
The reason right-wing people tell these stories about us, these lies, really, is because they see Black Americans in one dimension. In some cases, if not many, yes, it is just plain racism. But in others, it is just profound ignorance.
Ignorance and racism are the two main
characteristics of the MAGA base, along with bad taste, of
course. And until I see credible evidence to the contrary, I
think that for as long as they can possibly manage it, the MAGAs
will continue to throw their money away on Trumpy trash, and
they'll continue to donate as much money as they can to save
their Savior -- while at the same time they will continue to
whine about how Biden has tanked the economy so badly that
middle-class Americans can no longer cover the basic costs of
living. As I said, we gotta outvote them.
This post has been updated and amended
since its original publication on February 19, 2024. ~CC
If you're moved to do something better with your
money than giving it to a fraudster, consider giving a gift to this Whirled. You won't get gold shoes or cheap
overpriced cologne, but you would be giving to a good cause. I'd
really appreciate it.
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