Thursday, July 18, 2019

Mr. Fire and his new "Twin Flame": burning a path of destruction? -- Part 2 of 2

In my previous post I wrote about the pending divorce between New-Wage luminary Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale and Nerissa Oden, who had been central to both his personal and professional existence for two decades (case number 18-2637 in the 207th District Court in Hays County, Texas). Joe's new amour de sa vie is a former lounge singer and current New-Wage dilettante (self-styled coach, "lightworker," and so forth) named Lisa Winston, whom most of you probably never heard of before you met her here (and to think that I'm not even getting paid for the publicity). Lisa, like Joe, is discovering the power of storytelling in the service of commerce. But as I said in Part 1, it's wise to look beyond the stories.

Stories can be powerful, whether or not they're true
Lisa Winston has written at length about many terrible things she has experienced in her lifetime: the tragedies, the traumas, the abuse, the dark nights of the soul. Much of her current branding, and certainly much of her book, Your Turning Point, is based on her backstory. Among other things, she says she has been raped and otherwise sexually abused several times, she has been married to men who cheated on her, she has experienced multiple business failures, she has dabbled with substance abuse and sexual promiscuity, she has fought breast cancer (and watched her mother die of the same disease), and she even lost her home in the San Diego wildfires of 2007.

It was that last item that caught my attention, for I recall quite an extensive flame war, if you'll pardon the expression, over the 2007 San Diego wildfires -- this was in the heyday of The Secret -- centering around a now-deleted blog post that Mr. Fire himself wrote about those very disasters. Since the original source material is no longer there, you'll have to rely upon the Whirled archives,
such as this October 26, 2007 post, in which I wrote:
Mr. Fire tells us that while 45 homes burned near the home of Secret star John Asshat Assaraf, John’s home is safe! And so are the home and office of another Secret star, James Earl Ray…oops, I mean James ARTHUR Ray. (James EARL Ray is deceased, and so, because of him, is Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Sorry; I keep getting my James Rays mixed up.) Furthermore, the manager of yet another Secret star, Lisa "Hairdo" Nichols, also escaped the fires unscathed.

"Instead of wondering why they attracted a fire," writes Mr. Fire, "it might be wiser to wonder how they didn’t attract a fire." Mr. Fire says he has spent the last day or so with Lisa and John, who, he says, "are not focused on fires. They are focused on the fire in their soul." What sets them apart from others, apparently, is that they "spend their time working, making a difference, writing, speaking, and changing lives." Same goes with
Dr. John Demartini, yet another Secret star and a friend of Joe’s for more than 20 years. Like the others, Dr. Demartini lives a life of passion and purpose.

"Fires," says Mr. Fire, "don’t stop people like this."
If that statement of Joe's seems a little bit dismissive to you, or perhaps even offensive, you're not alone; scads of other folks also took offense at Joe's implication that people whose homes were destroyed were somehow at fault for not being skilled enough in the Law of Attraction.

Mr. Fire apparently took offense at their offense, and passive-aggressively defended himself in a subsequent blog post, which also seems to be missing in action. But
here's the historical record on this blog. As so many New-Wage gurus do when they're criticized, Joe turned the criticism back onto the critics.

And here is
a followup, in which I noted that Mr. Fire had "cleaned" his blog of all the negativity (this is the post with the comments section containing the discussion about "Jonathan" and Marian, as cited in my previous post).

I'm assuming that Lisa Winston's home was one of those destroyed in these wildfires. Judging from
this November 2007 article in which she is mentioned, I think I'm right. I wonder what Lisa would have thought of Joe's dismissiveness and arrogance back then. It's all moot now, I suppose, since she and her Twin Flame are currently in the slow and tortuous process of metaphorically burning down yet another house while trying to convince themselves and the world that the inferno is the radiant light of the Divine.

But... oh, yes, stories. We were talking about stories. Please know that I am not making light of the grueling emotional experience of caring for a dying parent, or struggling with cancer, or losing everything in a wildfire, or any of the sexual or other types of abuse that Lisa claims to have suffered over the years -- or, for that matter, the fears and frustrations around business failures and financial crises.

But I would be remiss were I not to don my Captain Obvious uniform and point out that Lisa Winston is now enthusiastically exploiting these dramas and traumas and fears and frustrations in the service of selling... well, whatever it is she's selling. There is of course nothing extraordinary in her use of her dramatic backstory as a framework for her current marketing efforts. It's so commonplace as to be banal for those in the selfish-help industry to spill their guts about all of the mistakes they've made and the horrible experiences they've had.

For instance, Joe has gotten a lot of mileage out of his "formerly homeless" tale, which centered in Dallas or Houston, depending upon the version you read, but which no one can really confirm, so we'll just have to take it on faith. And for years he teased us with his "plan to fight homelessness," Operation YES, which he said was inspired by his own long-ago experience, and which he first announced in 2008. In some promos he said his plan could end homelessness in one day.

Some folks -- and I was certainly one of them -- wondered exactly what Operation YES was and what it was supposed to do. Was it a charity? Was it a solid proposal for an actual plan to collaborate with community residents and leaders, and/or local and federal governments, to tackle the problem? Was it a plan to build quality, affordable residences for the homeless, or to provide job training and employment assistance for those who wanted it? Nope, nope, and nope... none of the above. People asked him about it for years, and for years he refused to really answer the question with anything but a "just wait, you'll see, it'll be great" dodge, and when persistent people tried to corner him to get details, he had a tendency to get a bit snitty about it. His dodging the questions about Operation YES inspired numerous snarks from various bloggers...
like this one.

But it turned out, and this will probably come as no surprise to you, that Operation YES, when it was finally "launched," was
just another sales funnel for Joe and some of his hustledork cohorts. I think there was some book involved, to make it seem as if something of concrete value was being provided up front. Wikipedia mentions OpYES in passing, though it's really a stretch to classify it as "Humanitarian work." Someone probably needs to get in there and correct that.

Though Operation YES is a big nothing, Joe is still milking the "formerly homeless" cow and has even recently helped someone else do it, which explains, in part, his repeated trips to Thailand. If you thought Thailand was just an exotic beach destination, a paradise for expats and tax scofflaws, or an attractant for disgusting middle-aged Western sex tourists in search of nubile females or underaged boys, then baby, you don't know Thailand. These days
it's apparently also a hub for Western-style hustledorkery and motivational money grabs. Joe helped a rich millennial in Thailand, Andres Pira, pen an autobiographical/inspirational homage to the Law of Attraction, titled Homeless to Billionaire. Pira is a real estate developer and founder of the Success Events org I linked to above. Here's a blog post Joe wrote while the work was in its early stages in December 2017. And here's an early teaser for the book, a video in which Joe boasted about his own rags-to-riches story and casually mentioned that he is now "living the lifestyle of the rich and famous."

It should be noted that Andres Pira is a Thai baht billionaire, and 1 Thai baht equals 0.032 United States Dollar, meaning that one billion dollars in Thai bahts is equivalent to $32,371,500.00 in US Dollars -- at least as of the moment that I'm pounding out this sentence. So the word "billionaire" is relative. (For some reason this reminds me of Joe's "multi-million dollar estate," which is how he described his house for years in order to use its monetary value as a marketing hook. But it turned out to have a market value of considerably less than half a mil at the time that the Mr. Fire's Pyre blog caught him in the fib, after which he changed his marketing. Although like most other properties this one has gone up in value considerably since then, and it is a lovely home from what I've seen, it is still well below being even a million-dollar estate, say much less a multi-million dollar one.)

Still, Andres Pira is Thai-wealthy, and would even be US-wealthy -- though not a billionaire -- if he lived in the US. But we'll have to take his word for it when he tells his own
homeless-to-billionaire backstory, since we weren't there. One point that does seem clear is that his narrative is giving The Secret a new boost for a new generation of marks, since Pira claims that he reached a big turning point in his formerly distressed existence when a friend gave him the book instead of loaning him money as he'd requested.

No doubt about it: stories are powerful, whether or not they're completely true. And hucksters love to tell stories. Some of those tales may be exaggerated, and some are totally false, like
imprisoned serial scammer Kevin Trudeau's tales of the "Brotherhood" and the GIN Council, as well as his backstory about the recording of the GIN upsell CD series, Your Wish Is Your Command -- all of which suckered thousands of people into giving Trudeau millions of dollars between 2009 and 2013. (Joe himself helped promote Kevin's lies in order to get people to join GIN.) As well, "confessional" stories told for marketing purposes may be promoted as being brutally honest, but generally have a tendency to underplay the tellers' own misdeeds, or to frame those misdeeds in a tale of massive redemption. It's usually all but impossible to know for sure what's true and what isn't, and most fans and followers simply accept the stories on faith.

In any case, transforming dysfunction into dollars is the most common form of New-Wage alchemy, so it's not surprising that Lisa Winston would do it too. If I had any real ambition I would do that myself, instead of wasting my time pounding out posts on this little blog for no money (donations are always warmly welcomed, however, and at this point very much needed). As I've said many times before, I've gotta find me a scam...

The point is that serial misfortune and a chronically dysfunctional life are not barriers to entry in the motivational industry; on the contrary, they're very often advantages, if you know how to commodify them. And in any case, numerous other luminaries who are much more successful than Joe or Lisa have had colorful and sometimes troubled pasts, a notable example being guru-to-the-stars and current Democratic presidential candidate
Marianne Williamson, whom I wrote about in my previous post. (As it happens, Lisa Winston supports Marianne for president, writing earlier this year, "I supported her campaign physically when I lived in LA and I fully support her again. It's time for a rise in consciousness and time for real change." Whatever you say, Lisa.)

After she'd been struggling for years, things were coming to a head for Lisa. Writing in Your Turning Point, she describes a financial crisis experienced when she decided she absolutely must invest in an expensive "coaching program." Her head told her she couldn't afford it, but her higher self or whatever gave her the green light.

I had to split the down payment between three credit cards... When it came time to start the program and come up with more money per month than my rent, I was faced with challenges. So, as per years of business coaching advice, I jumped in, said yes to stretching, and I learned problem solving on a whole new level. The mastermind required that I fly to San Antonio for a few weekends, so I found a way to do that, too. Long story short, this decision was one of the defining moments that led to my dinner with Joe. You wouldn't be reading this book if not for that decision.

So all's well that ends well, and you have my permission to read between the lines. You probably won't be far wrong. The chronicle of pain that Lisa recounts has a happy ending, and much of it seems to revolve around Joe Vitale, the deus ex machina that appeared like magic on the stage of her troubled life.

Or, to use another metaphor, Lisa hopped right on that Vitale "escalator through life," which he wrote about in Spiritual Marketing and in The Attractor Factor. It's like deja screw, all over again.

Indeed, "enjoy the ride"... that is, until the escalator malfunctions, or you get tossed off.

And now, past and present troubles notwithstanding, it appears that the Joe-and-Lisa snow must go on.

Two hucksters for the (exorbitant) price of one
From all indications, Joe and Lisa are shaping up to be a farce to be reckoned with: Scamworld's newest
MystiCouple, you might say. And they seem poised to ignite the world with their timeless message of what passes for love in their nation of two. They've already done Thailand and Italy together and are making plans to go back to Europe. On May 15 of this year, Lisa wrote this on her Facebook page:
Our precious friend Ivan Nossa is working on our European tour, starting next May!! Joe, Ivan and I will be speaking in many countries including Italy and Slovania, bringing our messages of love, joy, hope, healing, possibility and inspired action to people in bigger ways. I am beyond excited, grateful and blessed that my mission is getting ready to expand in ways I could never imagined. Here’s to a life of miracles!
Slovania! I'm impressed. Maybe Lisa and Joe will ultimately be honored with a chainsaw statue like that of Melania. Anyway, watch out, Europe. If the rising tide of fascism doesn't get you with real hate, our self-absorbed New-Wage pickpocket pair might get you with fake love. Hold on to your wallets.

her Global Voice interview I cited in my previous post, Lisa talks about having the honor and joy of accompanying Joe on his most recent trip to Thailand. She was, she said, blessed to be able to hang out with "thought leaders." One such was Chicken Soup for the Soul magnate and Transformational Leadership Council founder Jack Canfield. She was thrilled to be able to pose for pics with him and to network with all sorts of other fascinating folks. Asked by the interviewer what was coming next, Lisa replied:
Well, I’m honestly still in transition. There are many things in the works that I’m not able to share just yet. There are amazing things “in the works” for my Mindset Reset TV Show and my co-host, Robert Clancy and I. As well, I’m in the midst of creating a companion workbook for “Your Turning Point,” as well as the audio version. I’m writing a few other books, several of which I’m co-authoring with Joe. Joe and I have plans to do an album or two together. I’m creating a program from my live event. There will be other live events in the future. I may start minimally coaching again because people are asking. I’m very much focused on speaking gigs this year on. So, the world is my oyster and the possibilities, endless. I’d love to update you later this year!
Hmm. I'll just bet there are some things she wasn't able to share just yet, possibly because Joe was still trying to get her to keep a lid on some things while he was working out ways to come out ahead in the divorce. I'm just projecting, of course, based upon my own cynical worldview and what I've seen in similar cases. Lightworkers might view things in a different... well... light.

While we're awaiting those amazing "in the works" things and the other stuff that Lisa can't yet share, she and Joe have already produced quite a lot of content together. For example, there's this one, on "Overcoming Public Speaking Fear." A friend of mine laughed and said that the first part of this and other vids they have done together look and sound like Grandpa and Grandma trying to figure out how the Interwebz works.

The video was to promote a late October 2018 "Intensive" event in Austin called, "Own The Stage." Joe had also
promoted it on his blog earlier that month, via a PS in which he wrote about how "open and playful" he and Lisa had been with each other on their vid.

Lisa is no stranger to solo videos either, and in this one (and I apologize in advance for the earworm), she "returns to her first love, singing." Sadly, it appears to be an unrequited love, as singing does not seem to love her back. Were lousy acoustics and/or poor recording quality to blame for the fact that the performance sounds like karaoke Thursday at the Ramada lounge? I couldn't say, but I wasn't impressed. [Note: A few days after I had published the preceding, I found another link to this performance on Lisa's own Facebook page, and in the accompanying comment she did make a mention of "karaoke night," so I guess I have a pretty good ear. (She also said she had a cold that night.) ~ CC, 22 July 2019]

Not that I can sing either -- goodness knows I can't -- but on the other hand, I  have never tried to brand myself as a gifted vocalist. Lisa may indeed be gifted in that department, but maybe it's a gag gift. By the way, here's a screen shot of my visit to YouTube to watch the video. This is the original link I saw after searching for "Lisa Winston vocals" on Google. I had not been searching for information on sociopathy and psychopathy and liars before my preview. Do the YouTube bots know something we don't?

Vocal limitations aside, I'd say that Lisa is a more talented singer than Joe, who has billed himself as "the world's first self-help singer-songwriter," and has decreed several of his albums to be bestsellers. Take this 2015 recording (please). (Again, apologies for the earworm.) Is there deliberate irony in the warning, "Don't Take the Hook" and the montage of images showcasing the many ways in which Joe both took the hook and is trying to hook others?

With all of that vocal talent on tap, I can't wait till Joe and Lisa record an album together, as they've been threatening to do. They could very well be the next
Garth and Kat, that is, if they really step up their game, maybe hire a vocal coach. As I recall, Joe already went the vocal coach route a few years back, but if at first you don't succeed...

I can't really fault Lisa for trying to find other ways to make a living besides being a singer. Having had numerous friends in the arts over the years, I know that music, much like the visual arts, is a very difficult way for most folks to make a full-time living, no matter how much talent and skill they have. So it is understandable that Lisa would want to dabble in other ways to pull in some money, such as "coaching," which, due to the very low entry bar, is a fallback for so many folks. That said, I have to add that both she and Joe arguably do less damage with music that is marketed as entertainment (earworm potential notwithstanding) than they do with more straightforward and expensive selfish-help and McSpirituality offerings.

Although I've roasted her mercilessly here, I actually feel a sort of affinity with Lisa Winston. Consider this: Her "business," at least according to her Facebook profile, is called Cosmic Love LLC... and I am Cosmic Connie. Spooky, huh? But wait, there's more. Even though Lisa seems on first glance to be just another New-Wage/selfish-help phony, a closer look reveals that she may not be just your garden-variety poser. Instead, in light of the fact that much of her branding in more recent years has centered around her professed love for, and expertise in, that popular conceit known as "authenticity" (here is a 2015 vid where she announces her entry into the authenticity racket), she is not merely phony: Lisa Winston is authentically phony. Or phonily authentic, if you prefer. Similarly, though I may seem to be merely shallow, I am, upon closer examination, revealed to be profoundly shallow. Or shallowly profound, if you prefer; it makes no difference to me. Where serious shortcomings are concerned, I like to think that both Lisa and I go below and beyond normal expectations.
Speaking of Cosmic Love LLC, you may wonder what type of company it is. Good question. There is
a generic, auto-generated non-description on Facebook, which says nothing more than that Cosmic Love LLC is based in San Diego and that so far a grand total of six people "like this topic." Google is no more enlightening. Maybe Cosmic Love LLC was once active but is currently inactive, or maybe it is just a prop to make Lisa seem more credible in the business world, or maybe it's simply aspirational, or maybe it's a means to funnel money... who knows? I don't, and the corp-wiki sites aren't telling.

Why this matters
Why focus so much on gossip about the personal lives of my subjects? Usually, even at my "meanest," I focus more on the public personas rather than the private lives. But here's the deal (as Joe used to say a lot in his promotional copy): When you build a brand around that private life, and you use personal details as a very public marketing tool, and you hold forth as a spiritual leader or guru, a conduit for truth and "authenticity" -- and, by implication, as an example for others to follow -- maybe you should be held to a higher standard of behavior than the average self-centered or misguided bumbler who doesn't live the most exemplary life. As I wrote in
a 2009 blog post:
...unlike most celebrities (with the exception of those who cross over into the self-help world themselves, such as Suzanne Somers), selfish-help/New-Wage/McSpirituality gurus aggressively and disingenuously use their own ostensibly perfect lives as marketing tools. They are continually promoting themselves as being happy, healthy, wealthy, self-actualized, self-realized, fully awakened human beings who have everything they could possibly want, including amazing relationships. Occasionally, to make themselves seem likable and accessible, they will mention that they're only human and are still a "work in progress" or some such disclaimer. But the dominant message is that their astounding achievements (and, of course, their enviable possessions) prove that they are a cut above ordinary humans, and that they can sell you the secrets to make you a magnificent human specimen as well.

Most important of all, when other celebs, most notably Hollywood types, show off how successful they are, their main purpose is fairly innocuous: to draw attention to themselves. They aren't trying to manipulate people into forking over thousands of dollars for a weekend workshop in order to try to create a life just like theirs. By contrast, as noted above, all too many hustledorks use their carefully crafted public images as their primary marketing tool, their goal being to convince as many people as possible that anyone can have an exemplary life like theirs, if they are only willing to "invest" a few thousand bucks, or a few hundred thousand, in the right products and workshops and retreats.

And all too many people buy into the message, spending thousands of dollars they don't have, and not really seeing any genuine improvements in their lives.
Some of them even end up dead, as we've seen this past month.
The reference to death is a reflection of the fact that I wrote that post shortly after Joe's fellow Secret star James Arthur Ray had conducted his fatal "sweat lodge." (In a blog post that he wrote not long after the tragedy, Joe got a bit defensive when asked about the event; see the comment from "Duff" on October 20 at 3:30 PM, and Joe's snappish reply the next day, which began with, "You have no idea what went on in that sweat lodge.") The publication of my post was also well before the days of the #MeToo movement, and I'm afraid that some of my copy reflects a selective moral compass, since I tended to give entertainment celebrities and some politicians a bit of a pass in the bad-behavior category. But I stand by my opinion about the arguably greater import of the personal behavior (and misbehavior) of motivational and spiritual/religious leaders. 

Turning to more recent content, let's do a little unpacking of Joe Vitale's May 5, 2019 speech at the Unity Church in Wimberley. I mentioned it in my previous post and both linked to it and embedded it, but here's another direct link to the video. Specifically, let's talk about the story Joe told about how he and his "new relationship" -- that would be Lisa -- "manifested" their month-long trip to Italy earlier this year.

The way Joe told it, they decided after some discussion that they wanted to go to Italy, and they decided they wanted to stay there for 30 days (even though Joe says he'd never stayed anywhere for 30 days), so they bought their tickets and found a villa to stay in. To me this indicates that they already had the means to travel to Italy and stay for 30 days. So why would they need to spend all of the effort, as described by Joe, making a "vision board" -- cutting up books and magazines and slapping the pictures on a wall like a couple of first-graders working on a classroom project? Were they just vision-bored?

Granted, Joe did add that after they'd bought the tickets and found the villa and so forth, he had the inspired thought that maybe they could have someone else pay for the trip. So he called up a guy he knew, and voila! The guy put together not one, but two Italy events within 30 days, featuring Joe. But Joe had been to Italy before on a speaking gig. Some of his books had been published in Italian. And presumably this guy, who as it turns out was Joe's Italian publisher, knew he could make a little money off of Joe. After all, as Joe told his Unity audience, his books are number one bestsellers in Italy, and he is even more popular than the Pope. Yes, he really said that.

So there's nothing even remotely mystical-manifest-y about this. The infrastructure for the dream trip was already well in place. While Joe uses terms such as "inspired action" to make the things he buys and the trips he takes sound all spiritual and stuff, the trip to Italy that he took with his new "partner" was really at its essence just two people deciding they wanted to take an overseas vacay that they already had the means to take anyway -- thanks to Joe being a multi-millionaire or a billionaire and thus able to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous, as he loves to remind everyone, particularly when he is trying to sell them something, which is most of the time. The alternative explanation is he has actually been lying or seriously exaggerating all along about his wealth, and he really needed to have someone else subsidize his vacation. Either way, it doesn't say a lot for his credibility.

Judging from tales he has told for many years, though, Joe has cash all over the place. Money is always miraculously showing up in his life,
such as the time he found an extra $12,000-plus in a Paypal account he'd forgotten he had. And he has also spent years showcasing his numerous very expensive cars and a rare guitar collection and fancy watches and other pricey toys. So even if he didn't have ready cash for a trip to Italy, I'm thinking that if he and his new love wanted to go that badly, he could have sold something and easily paid for a 30-day vacation.

In short, we can be reasonably certain that Mr. Fire and his flaming twin would easily have gotten themselves to Italy even if they hadn't destroyed expensive books and pasted pictures on walls, and even if Joe hadn't "manifested" a New-Wage dog and phony show to promote the Vitalian version of the Law of Attraction. As I said in my previous post, take that "manifesting" tale he told in his Unity speech with a grain of salt.

Why does this matter? Again: It matters because Joe, like so many other marketers and persuaders, uses exaggerated or contrived stories to persuade people to open their wallets and their hearts. It matters.

It's not all about me, but some of it is
A few of you may think that this post, which is long even for me, is also pretty mean, even for me. You may say that I am viewing this entire situation from a crassly materialistic perspective, that I am focused on the profane rather than the sacred, that I am so hopelessly cynical and such a "hater" that I can't even begin to see the Divine at work behind this "love story." If you believe that, then you will almost certainly claim that I am projecting, and that my criticisms are a reflection of my own "stuff." I am pretty sure that's the approach that the subjects of my posts take, if they even notice them.

If criticizing the critic makes you feel better about your own choices, go for it. Just know that I've been fielding those same counter-criticisms for the nearly 13 years that this blog has been in operation, and that decades of personal experience and observation, predating this blog by years, have taught me that one really can't go too far wrong by viewing "motivational" and "spiritual" luminaries through a cynical lens.

Still, I would be less than truthful if I denied that there's some of my own "stuff" in all of this. Of course there is. To begin with, Whirled Musings is and always has been an unabashed expression of my own ego, even when I'm not being "mean" but am just trying to be funny, and/or trying to help keep people from being manipulated or harmed. I've never denied this.

And I still feel residual guilt for not having been a better friend to the late Marian, Joe's first wife, for not making more of an effort to reach out to her after Joe left her. More than likely I could not have prevented the tragic downward spiral her life took, but maybe I could have been more "there" for her. It appears to me that many people failed Marian, and I feel that in my own way I was one of them.

But although my "stuff" is a filter, it does not blind and deafen me. I think that a lot of light and clarity gets in through that filter, and that when it comes to the topics on my blog, I'm right more often than I'm wrong. You may think I'm wrong about that; if so, feel free to share your thoughts here.

As I've indicated, I don't pretend to know everything about either that story or the one that is unfolding now. While it is true that I knew Joe personally and that he and I (and Ron) were friends for years, neither Ron nor I have communicated with him in a long time, and the last communications were not friendly. Suffice to say that I think I know enough about his patterns of behavior with friends and associates (and with his first wife) to make reasonably informed conjectures, based upon the information he shares publicly, about what is going on now. It's possible that even Lisa, at some time in the future, may see their fateful meeting less as a "turning point" for her and more as a crossroads where she entered into a bargain she may regret. Maybe I'm totally wrong about that; perhaps patterns, like rules and promises, are made to be broken, but I'm just saying.

For now, though, I can only imagine how I would feel if I were in Nerissa's shoes. Even as Joe's first divorce was far from "easy and effortless" for Marian, it doesn't appear to be a picnic for Nerissa, judging from some of her Facebook posts. "I exist," she felt compelled to write, probably because her husband and his new girlfriend have been insouciantly, almost arrogantly, carrying on as if she doesn't, and appearing to use the Universe/the Divine/God et al. to justify their own selfish choices. It really makes you wonder if people who do that sort of thing
have any conscience at all.

I'm very aware that much of this is not my story to tell, even as the story of Marian and Joe was not my story. I can only assume that when and if she is ready, Nerissa will tell her side too. One thing is clear: Joe is past the point where he can control this narrative, because he's not the only one in it.

I guess the takeaway here is so simple as to almost sound simplistic: stories are just stories, and like opinions, everyone has (at least) one. But always keep in mind that hucksters know better than anyone how to use the power of storytelling to their own advantage. And falling hard for their narrative can be dangerous if you make any sort of important decision based upon the appeal of a good story. You could end up squandering money or time or energy or all of the above. In extreme cases you could end up sacrificing your life.

On a larger scale -- and forgive me for venturing into politix here, but I think this is important --
falling for an appealing or entertaining narrative can be the path towards destruction. America learned that the hard way in the 2016 US presidential election, and we may be slammed in the face with the lesson again in 2020. We may never fully recover from the damage. Hell, the world may not fully recover.

Do I think that New-Wage crapitalists are as potentially dangerous and destructive on a global scale as the "most powerful man in the world?" No, of course not. But they still have the potential to do harm, on a smaller scale. I really don't care if you buy Joe's and Lisa's products or if you listen to their music or watch their videos, or if you sample the offerings of any other selfish-help or McSpirituality or alt-health or New-Wage hawker. If you're moved to do so, go for it. Just look at all of it as entertainment rather than a serious guide to living. And don't make any big investments of money or emotion based upon the narratives that Joe and Lisa, or any other hustler, are weaving, because it's a pretty sure bet that those narratives are, to say the least, riddled with plot holes.

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