Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The sounds of silence (or, the emperor's new CD)

I'm putting the finishing touches on a real (and lengthy) blog post, which will go up within the next couple of days, but I just had to take a very brief snippet break, Dear Ones, and tell you about another exciting new product I found out about only a couple of days ago. Let's say you've checked out some of those magickal "clearing audios" presented by Mr. Fire and his partner Pat (I wrote about one such product on this post, and a magickal audio product is also part of this exciting deal). But maybe these products, and the many others in those two guys' "clearing" series, haven't quite done the trick. Well, don't give up on the power of audio just yet. If Pat's music doesn't seem to be changing your life, and Mr. Fire's bizarre vocalizations rub you the wrong way, why not try... hold on to your witch's or wizard's hat... utter silence?!?

An alert reader sent me a link the other day to a sales page for a new CD being touted by Mr. Fire protege Jennifer McLean. The CD is an offering from "world renowned Spiritual Teacher, author and presenter" Jo Dunning. Says the blurb on the sales page:

[Jo Dunning] is well known for her unusual ability to use energy from Source to transform lives and Awaken consciousness. She is referred to as a Miracle Maker because of the profound changes which often take place in the lives of an entire audience.

Isn't it amazing how many hundreds and hundreds of these would-be New-Wage stars all possess the very same "unusual" abilities? As Inigo Montoya famously remarked in The Princess Bride about the word "inconceivable," I'm thinking that maybe "unusual" does not mean what Ms. McLean, or Jo Dunning, or whoever wrote that copy, thinks it means.

But I digress. The miracle that Jo Dunning has committed to CD is absolute silence. But not just any silence, my pretties; it is Silence with a capital "S," for it is infused with Jo's pure, powerful energies – her most powerful transformative energies available, according to the sales page. Each CD is apparently created specifically for the buyer (or for the person with whom the buyer is gifting the CD; to tell the truth I'm not sure exactly how the exclusivity deal works).

The beautiful thing about it is that you can turn the CD up full blast at work or home or in public or wherever, and while your own life will be transformed, no one around you will be affected. (Try doing that with, say, Mr. Fire's robotic intonations on the Oil Clearing Audio.) The copy for Jo's CD says, "Now you can change your life anywhere, anytime, without anyone else even knowing."

(I would be willing to bet that if you're really sneaky, you can do it without you even knowing.)

And the higher you turn up the volume on the Silence, the more energy you will receive.

Best of all, it starts working right away...

As you begin to feel the energy of this special & powerful CD you will
know your life is about to change in magnificent ways.

But there is a caveat:

PLEASE NOTE: this product is designed for those willing and wanting to make a SIGNIFICANT energy shift into a MUCH higher vibrating realm.

The retail price for this silent CD is normally $147, but you can get it for only $97, which is a limited-time offering for those who are registered with Jennifer McLean's Healing With The Masters program. The offer is good through Tuesday, September 28.

Oops.

Well, hey, I just received the email late at night on September 28, so don't blame me. Maybe if you act now you can still get it for that amazing low price, but you should be aware that it will take four to six weeks. (But it's well worth the wait, we're assured.)

Anyway, here's the link to that hundred-dollar (or more) Silence. As my guy Ron said, "It's the digital equivalent of emperor's new clothes!"

Unbelievably exciting... or maybe just unbelievable.

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Dave said...

Wow! I wonder if Simon & Garfunkel can sue? Didn't they have some attachment to the sound of silence? I need to order a few of these for me and all my pals. Maybe I'll send one to Salty - he probably wants to vibrate at a higher energy.

It always cracks me up that these scammers use a price that ends in 7. Is there some scammy handbook that says to do so? Regardless, I can't see anything priced ending in a 7 without thinking some scammer has a hand in it - can of pork-n-beans, 97 cents? No way! Must be an IM scam....

Thursday, September 30, 2010 9:48:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yes, Dave, I believe it is in the IM Scambook that prices must end in the number 7. I think it's supposed to have some hypnotic effect on us dumb marks. What's even funnier is that they always use the fake markdown tactic. I'm rolling my eyes... again.

Thursday, September 30, 2010 10:43:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

Amazing! Even the snake oil salesmen of yesteryear put *something* in the bottles they peddled as "miracle cures." Imagine how dazzled even those old hucksters would be to learn that in the future, suckers would buy empty bottles as soon as full ones.

Alas... we have finally realized the digital-age equivalent of the Emperor's new clothes. What is truly frightening is that the folks who fall for this crap continue to reproduce and even teach their spawn.

Friday, October 01, 2010 3:08:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Well, Ron, at least there's a purty picture on the CD cover and label. Maybe it has magickal powers too. :-)

Friday, October 01, 2010 3:24:00 PM  
Anonymous CCGAL-Janelle said...

In all seriousness ... I wonder what the FTC would say about a basically blank CD being sold under the guise of "energy" treatment. Followed quickly by wondering who on Earth would buy into that ... and the dismayed realization that some people are going to put a blank CD with a fancy label (I'm guessing about the fancy label part) on their already over-extended credit card, trying desperately to change their lives. Can it get any sadder than this? Well ... I guess somebody buying it as a last ditch effort to kick cancer would be even sadder.

Rolling my eyes AND shaking my head,

Thursday, October 07, 2010 10:36:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

"Rolling my eyes AND shaking my head"

You and me both, Janelle.

Thursday, October 07, 2010 10:53:00 PM  
Blogger Marko said...

Wanna see one of the biggest "new age" scam sites on the net?

Look no further than wds global www.wds-global.com - they've got it all, from silent healing cds to water enhancers, right through to magical custom iPods costing hundreds of pounds and wooden bed knobs sold as "Pillars of Light" to put you in touch with ascended masters..LMAO!

..and of course, so long as what they sell is essentially harmless, it's all perfectly legal.

To some extent you can say more fool to the people who fall for such insane scams, they've obviously got more money than sense, but at the same time you have to consider the fact that these kind of scams generally target the mentally unstable, or those with very "difficult" to treat issues, both mental and physical.. cancer sufferers even.

How these scammers sleep at night I'll never know..

Friday, April 13, 2012 5:58:00 PM  

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