Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Monday musings

A few snippets to start your week out right...

Creative recycling: it's the New-Wage way!

A reader and occasional correspondent, "T" from London, recently wrote to me: "Looks like Joe Vitale [in partnership with his good friend Pat O'Bryan] has discovered another 'secret.' They're selling it, of course, and, apparently, we're saving ourselves $200 if we buy it."

"T" was referring to Joe and Pat's "Pelmanism Online" site, which is listed thusly on Google:

The Lost Art of Pelmanism -- O'Bryan and Vitale
Dr. Joe Vitale and Pat O'Bryan bring an ancient mind-control method back to life.
On this site, Joe himself writes:

Lucky for you and me, Pat O'Bryan dug up the entire original Pelmanism course. It wasn't easy. This material is long lost, very rare, and almost buried in the vaults of history. If you do an intense search, you can find a volume or two here and there, but rarely more than that.
"Lo and behold," added my friend T, "a quick bit of Googling reveals this site: http://www.pelmanism.co.za/, which offers what I'm assuming are the same lessons, FREE!"

T subsequently wrote that the material might not be exactly identical, but I replied that it seemed similar enough.

According to the Weird Universe blog, "The Pelman Institutes of England and America apparently once claimed over half a million followers. But now they're long gone. Yet that has not stopped at least two folks from trying to resurrect the copyright-abandoned mind-strengthening course and claim and market it as their own." The blogger linked to Joe and Pat's site, as well as this one.

Pelmanism was named after British psychologist Christopher Louis Pelman; a colleague of his founded the Pelman Institute for the Scientific Development of Mind, Memory and Personality in London in 1899. I'm not sure if something that originated in 1899 could actually be classified as "an ancient mind-control method," but New-Wagers have never been all that good with historical perspective.

Little seems to be known of Pelman himself; the person responsible for both the founding of the Institute and the original Pelman courses was one William Joseph Ennever. If you follow the link in that previous sentence you'll see a portrait of a philanderer who had an almost obsessive fear of aging, a man who made and lost his fortune with his Pelmanism shtick, and spent most of the last years of his life in poverty.

Perhaps you are tempted to ask, "If Pelmanism apparently didn't work all that well even for its founder, why should we believe it would be such a miracle method for today's grasping New-Wage materialist?" I sure can't answer that, but I have a feeling there are some who would think that you ask too many questions.

And in all fairness, there are those who would probably say that the question is moot, such as John Karp, who, towards the conclusion of a fairly comprehensive article about Ennever, wrote this:

Ennever's life is not a cautionary tale, nor a didactic lesson in success and failure - he lived the same highs and lows that everybody does. Nor is it important to read about his life and apply it to the modern world. But nevertheless, in a world in which our knowledge of the past is unparalleled, it is strange that W.J. Ennever should have slipped under the radar and into obscurity. His life's work is the strangest quirk: a mind training system that drew on both the frauds of the past and the brightening world of empirical science, and that found success all over the world. In a historical backflip, the Internet has seen the resurgence of the frauds who use their Internet presence to sell all manners of magic and mysticism. They have discovered Pelmanism, and market it now as a lost miracle76

If you follow that footnote link, you'll see this:

See The Lost Art of Pelmanism, <http://www.pelmanismonline.com/>, Pelmanism, the success secrets that almost got lost, <http://www.sector51.com/>, and Powers of the Mind Personal Development Self-Help Course, <http://www.powersofthemindcourse.com/>.

So we're right back where we started, with the Internet marketing geniuses who have taken these "ancient" teachings and repackaged them to sell to you. And if Pelmanism doesn't work for you, there's always Pyschic Demand. No matter how "ancient" (and absurd) it is, someone will find a way to recycle it and try to make money from it. As I said, that's the New-Wage way!

[By the way, the image of WJ Ennever is courtesy of www.ennever.com. Thank you to Barry Ennever.]

"I've never told this story before..."
And speaking of recycling, Joe Vitale has found a new way to recycle his famous tale of former homelessness.

In his recent blog post, "The Cure For Despair," he claims he finally came clean about exactly how he became homeless. It was difficult to talk about, he says, but he just had to do it. He says he was persuaded to tell his story by a woman who participated in his $5,000.00-a-head Rolls-Royce MasterMind dinner the other night. Well, I guess if someone is paying you $5,000.00 for a ride in your car, dinner and a bit of face time, they deserve to hear a good story. So he spilled the beans, albeit reluctantly of course, and he says that everyone at the table was open-mouthed. A close friend of his who was also in attendance claimed that even he didn't know the whole story up till then. "You just have to tell this to the world!" the astounded dinner attendees said, according to Joe. "It's riveting! This will change everything!"

And tell it he did, inviting people to spread his post far and wide to those they thought would benefit.

Not surprisingly, his fans have chimed in, praising him for the courage it must have taken to write this "inspirational" blog post and to finally confess what he claims he never wanted to talk about. One regular contributor wrote:

Joe. Thank you for sharing this! What an inspiring story. I’m sure you didn’t know that then and were quite mired in the struggle and survival of it.

It is VERY CLEAR to me why you never shared this before, even though some might think it was your embarrassment. You shared it now because it is PERFECT to be shared now. Right now. It was Divinely orchestrated. The woman who asked, divinely guided.

This story right now probably is helping countless people, many more than would have years, or even a year, months or even a month or days ago.

But it seems that in reality Joe is all too eager to talk about it, and in fact, he has even told "the whole story" before. More than once.

To begin with, an abbreviated version of it appeared in an Ohio newspaper article in September of 2007. (He even mentioned the article in a blog post.)

According to this article...

[Joe] attended Kent State University, majoring in public relations and journalism, but left just shy of a degree because he couldn't pass economics, didn't like Ohio winters and had the promise of work in Texas.

In the late 1970s, Vitale gave all his money to a company that promised to find him work building pipelines overseas, but the company folded, leaving him homeless and without a penny.

He recalls those times as "desperate and unhappy" but made his way to Houston where he held various temp positions and worked as a car salesman, reporter, laborer and cab driver.

He was unhappy with them all but held onto his dream of becoming an author, saying he kept writing the whole time.

The link to that article is here. (It also provides a little insight about Joe's "doctorate degrees.")

But it gets better. A person on Joe's own blog, while praising him for telling the story, mentioned that he'd told it before.

Hello Joe,

Just two nights ago, I watched you tell this story on a YouTube Video from an interview in Maui.

On YouTube search: Life on Maui #23 with Steven Freid (5 Parts).

Great Interview.

To hear you claim it and share it again (for me in such a short time) is amazing.



Barry is exactly right, although I noticed he didn't overtly challenge Joe's assertion that the blog post was the first time he'd told the story publicly. In a December 2007 interview on Maui with super-SNAG Steven Freid (who, incidentally, also conducted a fawning interview with one of my favorite snark targets, Dreaming-Bear), Joe did indeed tell the story – almost exactly as he says he told it at that MasterMind dinner. Actually he told it in even more detail, though in the Maui version version he kind of makes it sound as if the owner of the company that screwed him committed suicide when Joe tried to get his money back. I'm sure that's not what he meant, but it sounds like it. The Maui interview appears as a five-parter on YouTube, but if you want to save yourself some time, the nitty-gritty of the homeless tale is here in Part 3, beginning at about 1:36.

Notably absent from Joe's various narratives about those poverty years is the fact that beginning in the late 1970s, and for about seven years thereafter, he was involved in the late Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh's cult. Maybe it's not relevant but I thought it worth a mention anyway.

At any rate, it seems clear that Joe's followers either have short memories or aren't willing to do much research. As I've said here before, I imagine that's one of the things that Joe and most New-Wage leaders are banking on.

I will give Joe credit for honesty about one point in his blog post. He says his family in Ohio would have taken him back in, but he was too proud to let them know of his plight. Granted, given the abuse Joe suffered when growing up (which he wrote about in his spiritual autobiography, Adventures Within), you'll know that this was not a very desirable option. He had a lot of good reasons to get away and stay away from home. However, I think it worth noting that he did have a safety net, unlike many if not most of the folks today who are being forced out of their own homes because of the foreclosure crisis – and unlike many of the chronically homeless who are mentally ill or have other serious problems.

Lest you dismiss me as a complete cynic or hopeless curmudgeoness, I don't have a problem with what Joe purports to be the real message in his blog post, which is that any situation, no matter how bad, is temporary.* Yes, the sun will shine again, so you should never give up but should just keep on keeping on, and so on. Everyone needs to hear this message at one time or another.

My issue is with the disingenuous way Joe has exploited his "homeless" story all along. Putting aside the fact that I think it's kind of an insult for him to even imply that his situation compares to that of people who really are homeless for one reason or another (and don't have families to take them in), I've pretty much had it up to here with the rags-to-riches tales told by so many New-Wage luminaries. Many of them have made a big deal out of being formerly "homeless," and most of them, formerly homeless or not, finally became rich only after years or decades of trying one thing after another.

It's true that most of them – including Joe – are pretty honest about not being overnight successes. But then they use their success stories to sell you on the idea that the product/service/miracle weekend du jour that they're offering will save you similar years of struggle; you have but to fork over your money for their stuff and you can be rich and happy and successful almost overnight. That's pretty clever, I must admit. But it's also pretty deceptive.

Moreover, these rags-to-riches tales, whether they're completely true or are partly (or mostly) embellished, give people a distorted idea of what it takes to really become successful. Tales that purport to be inspirational, but are often little more than marketing ruses, actually serve to discourage many people. Why? Well, maybe because we all have a tendency to compare our own lives to others' stories. And our lives almost always come up short, no matter how many books or seminars we invest in. My pal Blair Warren wrote an excellent post about this on his blog, Crooked Wisdom.

As it happens, Blair also had this to say on a recent Tweet on Twitter:

If you begin a story with "I've never told this before" it's wise to have never told it before. Especially to the people you're talking to.
Somehow it seems appropriate here.

Even so, I think we can expect Joe to continue to recycle his homeless tale and milk it for all it's worth. Perhaps he'll even continue to reveal yet more details that he was previously "too embarrassed to talk about."

And the Joebots will continue to heap praise and money upon him.

Shameless Schirmer strives for new levels of shamelessness
I suppose I need to modify my previous remarks that the troubled Aussie Secret star David Schirmer has abandoned the "wealth coach" gig in favor of being merely a Christian hustledork (see, for instance, this post; scroll down to, "Onward Christian wankers"). David is still peddling his wares in the New-Wage market via his new web page, Wealth By Choice.

For example, he's still promoting himself as a stock market expert, despite the fact that, according to various sources, he has never shown anyone any trade sheets and in fact has never actually shown that he can make money from the stock market. In addition, word has it that the two people giving testimonials on his stock market page now have nothing to do with him and would probably, for various reasons, be embarrassed to be associated with him in any way.

He is also apparently challenging the authorities with his Entrepreneurship 101 course, in which he deliberately tells people how to find a way around the system in order to avoid lawsuits as well as taxes. He writes:

There is a right way and a wrong way to set up your asset protection.

You need to make sure that this is done the right way from the start. If you get it wrong and you get sued it will be too late to change it then.

The reason I know all of this is that I discovered it the hard way. I found that my accountant, who is great, really had no idea. My lawyer, good as he is, really couldn’t give me a definitive answer…

Finally I found someone in the legal industry who (like me had to find out the hard way) had spent years of research to get it right, and I found out exactly what needed to happen to ensure my wealth and assets were protected....

...So the key to preventing/minimizing lawsuits is NOT TO OWN ANYTHING IN YOUR NAME. The key to protecting your assets - is to make sure predator-plaintiffs and their gold-digging lawyers can’t get their hands on your money. When plaintiffs’ lawyers discover they can’t get your money, they won’t waste any time trying. Why should they!, they will get 1/3 of nothing? They can find someone else to sue....

Granted, David Schirmer is working in Australia, having been stymied in his efforts to enter the US market, so presumably his lessons apply to Australian laws. Still, he seems to be kind of rubbing the authorities' noses in it, not to mention the noses of those to whom he allegedly owes so much money.

But since we're on the topic, I have no doubt that many American hustledorks have set up their own businesses to take advantage of applicable laws that will render them impervious to lawsuits – just in case they're not fully protected by (1) the myriad legal disclaimers they put on the web sites where they advertise junk with 100%-guaranteed miracle results; and (2) the fact that most of their promises are sufficiently vague to prevent any actual fraud charge from sticking.

David Schirmer seems absolutely incorrigible. But, as the old saying goes, desperate times call for desperate measures. And by the way, his much-touted Succeed magazine really does seem to be on the brink of failure, if not already there; no one seems to have received any issues after the August-September 2008 issue. Trouble in publishing paradise, perhaps? Who would have guessed?

Another reason the chickens might have human arms...
Okay, first of all, if you don't understand the title of this snippet,
you need to go here. (Standard warning: If you are offended by the "f" word and/or by mention of recreational drug use, don't go there. Just continue to puzzle over the title, and enjoy the mystery!)


According to a recent AP article, British stem cell research has officially entered a brave new world: the creation of human-animal hybrid embryos for research has won final approval from Brit lawmakers. The current plan is for this process to involve injecting an empty cow or rabbit egg with human DNA; the resulting embryos will supposedly not be allowed to survive beyond fourteen days, enough time to harvest stem cells. This skirts the whole abortion issue, since technically the embryo is not human.

I definitely support stem-cell research, but this particular development has me a little worried. Apart from the enormous potential for abuse, resulting in various science-fiction nightmare scenarios and ethical problems, my first thought was that the foreign proteins or whatever from those other species might end up in the stem cells and cause some serious trouble in the ultimate recipients. Maybe it's something we need to consider. But I have a feeling that the barn door has already been flung wide open and the chimeras have escaped. Yikes.

On the other hand, we might be able to train chickens with human arms to collect their own eggs, so maybe there's some commercial potential in this after all. I probably need to keep an open mind.

Well, that's it for now. I'll be back as soon as I can, and I hope you have a great week.

PS ~ If you need a jolt of real inspiration, here are some powerful life lessons from the guy who brought you the song I linked to above.

* Of course the opposite is also true; any situation, no matter how good, is also temporary. But that truth is not the stuff of which "inspirational" blog posts are made.

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Blogger Mary Anne said...

Dancing Bear is trying to get on Oprah, but who isn't? Oprah is the Promise Land. I can name about three Dancing Bears off the top of my head who have written God-awful tripe with dreams of Oprah in their heads. I think they count Oprahs and not sheep before they go to sleep at night.

By the way, it seems Oprah is a bit more careful after the Secret. All I can see from her is the guy from Middle Earth and I have not heard too much about him recently.

I got a feeling it will be harder to be on Mamma O's show in the future.

Monday, October 27, 2008 6:07:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

I agree with you that Oprah seems to be a bit more careful these days, after having been fooled numerous times. For my part, I was actually being facetious when I said, re D-B, "Oprah, you've been warned!" I seriously doubt she'd be interested in D-B's shtick. Then again, I've been surprised before by the stuff that she and others are willing to accept.

I did read that last year, when Oprah was paying homage to The Secret and its "stars," her staff had considered Joe Vitale but ultimately decided not to have him on the show after learning that his doctorates are bogus. In fact, I read that from a commenter on Joe's blog; she claimed to live in the Chicago area and to be friends with an Oprah staffer. This was one of many comments that Joe subsequently deleted.

But anyway, yes, EVERYONE wants to be on Oprah.

Monday, October 27, 2008 6:23:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

I just want to BE Oprah :-)

(Word verification: suffi)

Monday, October 27, 2008 7:21:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

"I just want to BE Oprah :-)"

You and me both, Lana.

Re "suffi"...well, that's awfully close to "sufi," and this IS *Whirled* Musings. The word-verification bots are pretty clever sometimes.

Monday, October 27, 2008 7:32:00 PM  
Blogger Mary Anne said...

You would think after James Frey and Dr. Strangelove (Jan Adams), Oprah would get a little smarter about who she is promoting. I am waiting for the tell all about Dr. Oz to come out. I did see Kathy Fenton, "Expect A Miracle", in the O magazine last month. Now Kathy Fenton has a lot of shtick. She oozes bad New Age jumbo mixed in with bad Eastern thought. Fenton even has a crazed look in her eye.

I was up late the other night and saw the O show with Eat, Pray, Love's Elizabeth Gilbert. Gilbert is another one who manufactured her past quite a bit. She was playing up this "oh I was sad and found light in my bathroom" schtick, when she was COMMISSIONED to write her book! Her book was NEVER an accident as she is now trying to portray in the media. O was eating it all up.

Oye, the nerve!

Monday, October 27, 2008 7:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Yulia Silibic said...

There are many people in this world who, because of their lack of divine intuition, pour scorn on the souls who, through suffering and grace, have the wisdom/compassion to actually reach out to others who find themselves at lifes mercy. It seems that you are one of those individuals, Cosmic Connie, although you are not so cosmic really, are you. Why not move beyond your negative stereotyping and allow yourself to blossom in the way that you are so obviously afraid to do, and have gratitude for life and God and release your pent up tenderness? I, and many of my friends, personally find nothing but inspiration from the poetical heart of Dreaming Bear. See beyond your mask.
Love and Light.

Monday, October 27, 2008 9:19:00 PM  
Blogger JS said...

So I went and looked at Mr. Maui's myspace page and a youtube video. Seems more like Scheming Bear to me.

Monday, October 27, 2008 11:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Connie, they just don't get it do they? Everyone wants a piece of Oprah and really do you think that Oprah's team are interested in fickle subjects like Dreaming Bear and the likes of Ozzie Mozzie David Schirmer? People who appear to have done more damage to good souls than good and who seem to flit from one suck 'em in gimmick to the next just to make their fashionable millions. I really to wonder what those people would do if they actually HAD millions of dollars instead of just being wannabes? I looked at that tv interview with Schirmer again and honestly the guy really doesn't know what to say. You can see that he knows hes lying but he has to think of something to say for the benefit of the faithful few so they aren't too torn up about it all.

None of them seem charitable souls to me. The only charitable thing they get up to is blowing off about themselves. And lets face it the world is in a serious enough state to be completely over people like this now. I feel sorry for anyone caught in their spell because it seems they just can't get out. If they try, they get wound straight back in again until these fools have sucked enough money and life out of them that in the end the very people they needed to survive actually hate them. These fools would attempt to tell them that they should think happy gay thoughts even if they have screwed every inch of life out of them. What have they achieved in the end, people who can't stand the crap that comes out of their mouths. I think you are doing a fabulous job of giving the public a few choices about what to and what not to believe which if far more than any of the ego driven new-age characters. Imagine when they get to the pearly gates and are asked who have you screwed up.....uuurr sir, thats too embarassing to mention right now can I please talk about myself and what I think I've done. Well son, no what matters is what I think of you so push off then. NEXT!!!

Thats pretty much how I see them now. You only have to listen to a few sentences and its like ..... NEXT!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 1:04:00 AM  
Anonymous Yakaru said...

Great work, Connie! You have the best spiritual site on the internet.

A few comments:

Where I used to live in Australia there was a guru who'd blown in from Maui. Similar story with the ladies, except unlike this Dreaming Bare bloke, he wouldn't have had much of a chance with the ladies without his gurudom. (i.e pale, pudgy and balding, rather than tanned, muscley and long haired.)

Nice fellow. After his enlightenment he discovered his wife had had an affair, and Divine Grace inspired him to beat her up, even though he'd been having affairs himself. Similar story with the second wife too, except she left him after he got a woman pregnant on one of his meditation retreats.

Seeing as Osho (Rajneesh) is mentioned twice in the one post, I'll comment. I agree with the commenter that he had something worth saying. And I would add that I think that stories of his womanising are rather exaggerated. I've been in and around that "cult" for 20 years or so and I've never heard any woman either brag or complain about having had sex with him.

The link you provide mentions him in the same sentence as Sai Baba - which is quite unfair, as Sai is followed by credible reports and accusations of pedophilia. (Rajneesh even accused him of it in the early seventies.)

David Schirmer.

Oh no.

I think this guy is really mentally disturbed - family history probably puts him in a high risk category for that. There are criminals and conmen everywhere, but it's especially telling that The Secret people, with all their powers and secret wisdom, didn't smell a rat or avert this disaster. He is proof that their message is morally bankrupt and idiotic.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 6:11:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not Connie doing the negative stereotyping, Dreaming Bear is doing the job fine himself.

He's a classic example of the self-groomed ladies man 'stud' type cum shamanistic new age spiritual teacher. You can't get much more stereotypical than that. There's nothing 'poetic' about him, he's a walking cliche.

Connie's just pointed it out, that's all.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Mary Anne, you give some great examples (in your 7:56 PM comment) of some more of O's misjudgments. Kathy Freston, for example, seems to be little more than another New-Wage cliche-spouter. I did, however, kind of get a kick out of one of the one-star reviews on Amazon; the person was disappointed because Freston's book "Expect A Miracle," which has the word "Spiritual" in the subtitle, is not Bible-based. Some Christians just can't seem to get it that "spiritual" can and often does mean something besides "Christian."

As for "Eat, Pray, Love," I'm not surprised that the author seems to be good at reinventing her past. Taking a little literary license, as it were... but Oprah has proven that she's a sucker for a good story, whether it's entirely true or not. I do think that "Eat, Pray, Love" might make a good movie if it's done right. But just from reading about the book (and reading an excerpt on Amazon), it looks like an awful lot of "me, me, me" that might get pretty boring.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 2:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Yulia Silibic said...

Anonymous, in Croatia we have word for person such as like you, it is 'Ztzcijlzkyvmiszckjimir'. It means person who eats orange but acts like eats lemon. I think this apply to Cosmic Connie also and the rest of you who lacks authentic love.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 2:34:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yulia Silibic said...

"There are many people in this world who, because of their lack of divine intuition, pour scorn on the souls who, through suffering and grace, have the wisdom/compassion to actually reach out to others who find themselves at lifes mercy. It seems that you are one of those individuals, Cosmic Connie, although you are not so cosmic really, are you. Why not move beyond your negative stereotyping and allow yourself to blossom in the way that you are so obviously afraid to do, and have gratitude for life and God and release your pent up tenderness? I, and many of my friends, personally find nothing but inspiration from the poetical heart of Dreaming Bear. See beyond your mask.
Love and Light."

Yulia, I hope you will forgive me for my initial reaction to your post; I had a fleeting thought that you were my pal HHH or someone else just jacking with me. (If so, good one!)

But I have decided to take your comment at face value and respond accordingly.

First of all, I may lack "divine" intuition, but I have a feeling that my intuition regarding Dreaming-Bear's shtick is pretty accurate. My impressions seem to have been substantiated not only by the commenter I quoted in this post, but also by other correspondents whose comments I've quoted in previous posts about Dreaming-Bear.

As for Dreaming-Bear's "suffering," he has apparently told many stories about that, but if I were you I would take most if not all of those stories with many grains of salt.

Thirdly, if you have spent any length of time on this blog you would know that the "Cosmic" in my moniker is ironic. However, since you're not the first to remind me that I am not so cosmic, I finally decided to add a disclaimer to the "About Me" blurb at the top of my blog. If you actually care to know why I gave myself this name, here's my post on the subject:

As for your apparent impression that I have not allowed myself to blossom in tenderness or whatever, I would turn it around and ask you why you apparently think that tenderness cannot co-exist with the ability to detect unmitigated b.s. when one sees it.

Actually, if I were any *more* tender, I would be a squishy, non-functional mess. I mean, I actually got all choked up the other night when I discovered that the mouse trap, which Ron and I had set out a few nights previously to capture a pesky little rodent who was making a mess of our pantry, had succeeded in its mission. I burst into tears at the sight of that tiny perfect creature, with its perfect little pink hands and feet, crushed in the trap. Yes, I KNOW rodents carry horrid diseases such as hantavirus and the black plague. But still, it was such an adorable little mouse... I have also been known to rescue struggling insects from spider webs (don't worry; it's not cruel to the spiders because they have plenty to eat around here). So don't lecture *me* about tenderness.

You say that you and many of your friends find nothing but inspiration from the poetical heart of Dreaming-Bear. While I am tempted to ask, "Inspiration to do what? Cook for him, clean up after him, and be a member of his harem?", I won't. I'll just take you at face value there too and say that one woman's inspiration is another's snark chum. I guess we just have to agree to disagree about D-B.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 2:40:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

JS said...

"So I went and looked at Mr. Maui's myspace page and a youtube video. Seems more like Scheming Bear to me."

Excellent, JS. I think that should be D-B's official new nickname here.

Yet as you've seen, there are those who don't perceive what he's doing as scheming...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 2:45:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon 1:04 AM: Thanks for the compliments. You make some good points about the selfish-help hucksters and the similarity of their shticks. But what I find continually amazing is the fact that the hucksters always seem to be able to find a willing audience, because there are always new "generations" of gullible souls.

And even though most of these folks eventually either become bored with or disillusioned by one huckster, many of them refuse to give up on self-help altogether. They always find another guru to latch onto. Some just hop from huckster to huckster for many years, and their lives never really improve.

As long as they continue to pour money into their quest, they are doing their part to keep the selfish-help/New-Wage industry going. That's not entirely a bad thing because I think there are some who have decent messages, but there are so many scammers and schemers and rip-off artists that it makes the entire industry suspect.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 2:54:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yakaru, I appreciate your kind remarks.

Interesting story about that guru from Maui who ended up in Australia. Seems like a lot of gurus who get themselves in trouble elsewhere end up Down Under. (You didn't actually say he'd gotten himself in trouble in Maui, but I just had a feeling...)

Then again, there are those Down Under who get themselves in trouble and try to escape to the US... such as David Schirmer, who hasn't been able to realize his American Dream yet, and probably won't. :-)

In retrospect that link I provided for Rajneesh/Osho probably wasn't the best one, but I was in a hurry and that's one of the first links that popped up. I actually thought some of Rajneesh's earlier writings and speeches were pretty interesting, and I think he probably did have something worthwhile to offer, but I am also struck by the fact that even Joe Vitale became disillusioned with some of his over-the-top behavior in his later years. However, I also recognize that sometimes reports of gurus' behavior are exaggerated. They're so easy to believe because so many gurus do take advantage of their followers.

Sai Baba, on the other hand...yuck.

Regarding your remark about David Schirmer being proof that "The Secret's" message is morally bankrupt and idiotic... I have to pretty much agree with you there. Some have said that 'one bad apple' doesn't mean the whole barrel is rotten, but in this case I think it's a great indicator of the state of that barrel. I believe that Schirmer is just an extreme example of the greed and narcissism that has driven "The Secret" franchise from the very beginning. He was an unfortunate choice who reportedly got into "The Secret" because Bob Proctor (no sterling character himself) was doing work with him at the time and recommended him. I am sure Bob regrets that choice now. In any case, Schirmer's presence in "The Secret" hasn't had any apparent ill effect on its success, and Schirmer himself is still exploiting his "Secret" connection in any way he can. And Rhonda Byrne's lawyers don't seem to be doing anything to stop him.

It is also clear to me that character and morality were never prerequisites for being in "The Secret." Success, or apparent success, in some aspect of the New-Wage industry were the main requirements for the living "teachers" in "The Secret." The dead teachers, such as Jesus and Einstein, didn't have a say.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 3:18:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anonymous 10: 11 AM said...

"It's not Connie doing the negative stereotyping, Dreaming Bear is doing the job fine himself.

"He's a classic example of the self-groomed ladies man 'stud' type cum shamanistic new age spiritual teacher. You can't get much more stereotypical than that. There's nothing 'poetic' about him, he's a walking cliche.

"Connie's just pointed it out, that's all."

Thanks for the support, Anon. I couldn't have said it better myself. Actually, if D-B had been a little less stereotypical it might have taken me a little longer to find him snarkworthy. But he seems to have adopted every New-Wage cliche he could in order to create his perfect shtick. Good Goddess, he did everything but tattoo a target on his forehead with the slogan, 'Hit me with your best snarks!'

Apparently, however, some have bought into his act...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 3:24:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yulia Silibic said [at 2:34 PM]...
"Anonymous, in Croatia we have word for person such as like you, it is 'Ztzcijlzkyvmiszckjimir'. It means person who eats orange but acts like eats lemon. I think this apply to Cosmic Connie also and the rest of you who lacks authentic love."

I had not yet seen this comment, Yulia, when I wrote my previous response to you, or to someone going by the name "Yulia Silibic."(If you will pardon my pointing this out, your second message seems a bit more English-challenged than your first one, leading me to believe that perhaps it was written by two different people.)

Anyway, I am assuming that the Anon you address is the one who wrote the 10:11 AM comment.

If you are indeed living in Croatia and not on Maui, then it is possible that you have no personal experience with Dreaming-Bear, so my implication that you were one of his cadre of female servants was probably inappropriate. If so, I apologize.

However, I must say that I think your judgment that either my defenders or I are lacking in "authentic love" reveals more about your own credulity than it does about us.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 3:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Yulia Silibic said...

I make special effort at first, but as I think your eyes are screwed up from making lemon sucking face, I think you not read properly anyway.
So I don't bother.
As for your comparison with HHH, he seems like kind of stupid pervert who would want to wander into woods with me and thick blanket, and have me drip pure marijuana oil off my pale breast into his mouth. I only have love like that for authentic wisdom warrior like Dreaming Bear.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 4:46:00 PM  
Anonymous Yakaru said...

Having googled "Silibic" and found no reference to it as an existing name, I suspect it's a joke. If so, as a parody, you've nailed the worldview so well that it's unrecognisable as parody.

Very funny.

If you are a real person (also possible) then I suspect your guru may have given you that name, and with good reason.

(P.S. Connie, I would be unable to find any much better link for Rajneesh, and I wasn't complaining. I just couldn't bear to see Sai Baba mentioned in the same sentence.)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 4:48:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Yes, Yakaru, it seems that at least the second two "Yulia" comments (2:34 and 4:46 PM) *are* the work of one of my mischievous friends. (Good work, pal. ;-)) And perhaps the first one is also parody, in which case my initial impression was correct.

Nevertheless I'll let my long-winded answers stand, because in fact there do seem to be some people, particularly some women, who take D-B seriously -- and some of them are still trying to convince themselves that those who criticize him are lacking in "authentic love" or whatever.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 6:36:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

Ho ho.

Speaking of chimeras, I think the potential for abuse of these new technologies is apalling. If there are goats geneticaly engineered to make silk from their teats, what if some evil unscupulous genetic engineer tried to make a woman that secreted psychotropic substances from her breasts? I think most people would agree that would be an ethical and ecological disaster.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 7:45:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

"If there are goats geneticaly engineered to make silk from their teats, what if some evil unscupulous genetic engineer tried to make a woman that secreted psychotropic substances from her breasts? I think most people would agree that would be an ethical and ecological disaster."

But I bet the woman would have a lot of dates!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 8:19:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

I think you may be right, Cosmic Connie.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 9:17:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

"what if some evil unscupulous genetic engineer tried to make a woman that secreted psychotropic substances from her breasts?"

The truth is, the vast majority of men would be clamoring for her address, credit cards in trembling hands. And the engineer would get filthy rich... but he wouldn't need to buy a stable full of cars to be admired! :-)

Tuesday, October 28, 2008 10:43:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

Ah, see, this is the true meaning of the new age.
See everyone knows that mothers milk is so important because it has omega 3 oil in it, and if baby doesn't get it, it becomes stunted and grows up to be a politician or something. Well, scientific research shows that there are natural endocannabinoid receptors in the brain. Why are they there? Because baby is MEANT to get them endocannabinoids in breast milk, just like the omega 3, see? If it doesn't, it grows up stunted and becomes an accountant or something. With me? Obviously something has gone wrong and mothers milk has lost this important quality. Now with genetic engineering they breed a few THC-milk-women down in South America somewhere out of reach of irksome red tape and human rights legislation and wotnot, and that will eventually restore humanities lost sense of wonder and oneness.
A few generations of breeding and no one will care about money any more.
They'll only care about chocolate.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 1:03:00 AM  
Anonymous Lana said...

"A few generations of breeding and no one will care about money any more. They'll only care about chocolate."

I'm already there!

~Nadali Silibic

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 3:13:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

Now there is something interesting.
Lady folk make a big fuss about chocolate, men tend not to.
What is the difference between the two sexes as to their experience of chocolate.
Me, I like it, it tastes nice, but it's not like putting the shower head on my tiddly bits- which is what it seems to be for women.
Sorry to be so crude.
Does it cause a deep warm feeling of pleasure in your belly, or rushes of tingling throughout your lightbody, or am I seeing things wrong or what?
Maybe it brings a deep sense of cosmic connection with your authentic inner intergalactic star child?!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 4:50:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

Oh who would think that boy and Bear
Could be accepted anywhere
It's just amazing how fair
People can be!


Wednesday, October 29, 2008 5:11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It seems to be that all of these people have the same very dangerously weird psychological issues. I have checked out the Schirmers as others have suggested and it seems that a number of Schirmers siblings have had a very serious bunch of issues too and it now seems that the very fame challenged David Schirmer is not much different. I would go so far as to say that any female in his presence should be careful of his motivations and shut up shop so to speak incuding their purses. I don't know but I just get the feeling that the guy is a real sleaze bag. I have been in his seminars twice and it irks me just the way this guys deviously and in appropriately touches some women or looks at them and does it all when you can se he's sneaking around so his wife doesnt' catch him. Blurgh just gets under my skin. His financial misfortunes probably all stem from the same psychological problem of wanting to keep the entire cake and wanting to eat the entire cake too. All seems far too weird and devious and I'd reckon that people like this get more and more brazen until one day (like now it appears for this guy) it all comes back to bite their backsides. And bite is does. They end up exposed for this and that and well, really exposed. Not a good picture is it in this case blurgh. I reckon that there are more in that industry who aren't much different.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008 7:49:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

RevRon's Rants said...

"'what if some evil unscupulous genetic engineer tried to make a woman that secreted psychotropic substances from her breasts?'

"The truth is, the vast majority of men would be clamoring for her address, credit cards in trembling hands. And the engineer would get filthy rich... but he wouldn't need to buy a stable full of cars to be admired! :-)"

Trembling hands...a stable full of cars... Gosh, Ron, where do you get your inspiration? ;-)

But you're right; that would be one rich engineer!

Thursday, October 30, 2008 11:55:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH wrote:
"Well, scientific research shows that there are natural endocannabinoid receptors in the brain. Why are they there?"

HHH, as you may know, there actually has been some interesting research about why we have all of those interesting natural receptors in our big brains. UCLA Psychopharmacologist Ronald K. Siegel, to give but one example, produced some fascinating material a number of years ago suggesting that the need for intoxication is an innate drive, not just in our species but in numerous others as well. Read his controversial book, "Intoxication." Some of it has since been refuted but it's still an interesting read. (The book was originally published in the late 1980s; that's the version I have, but I see on Amazon that it was republished in 2005.)

But I have to agree with our friend Lana about the single-minded obsession with chocolate; many humans have already reached that point!

In a subsequent comment you brought up the topic of gender differences regarding chocolate. It does seem that in general, women are more chocolate-obsessed than men. But maybe that's just one of those stereotypes in need of re-examination. In the case of Ron and me, for example, he's the one who's the chocoholic. He is far more obsessed with chocolate than I am and has been ever since I've known him. Most of the time I can take it or leave it. And it takes far less chocolate to satisfy my cravings than it does Ron's.

But I simply cannot live without peanut butter!

Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:14:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Lana (aka "Nadali Silibic") let me just reiterate: Amen to your remark about chocolate obsession! I live with a chocoholic so I know what I'm talking about.
~ Константин Silibic

Gee, we Silibics are just crawling out of the woodwork now, aren't we? :-)

Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:28:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH said...

"Oh who would think that boy and Bear
Could be accepted anywhere
It's just amazing how fair
People can be!

Now I can't get that song out of my head. Thanks a lot! :-)

Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:31:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anonymous 7:49 PM said...

"It seems to be that all of these people have the same very dangerously weird psychological issues. I have checked out the Schirmers as others have suggested and it seems that a number of Schirmers siblings have had a very serious bunch of issues too and it now seems that the very fame challenged David Schirmer is not much different..."

That's my impression too, Anon. Maybe at least some of it comes back to something that my pal Mojo pointed out in her comment to one of my recent posts. I had quoted a story Schirmer told about his childhood. In attempting to convince people that he'd been raised to be a good churchgoing sort, he claimed that his parents beat the living crap out of him and his siblings in order to encourage churchgoing and other "good" behavior, and discourage bad behavior. In any case, it seems that Schirmer's entire family history is pretty unsavory.

And remind me never to go to any of his seminars, LOL. Although I think that if I did, and he recognized me, he'd probably be on his best behavior. :-)

Thursday, October 30, 2008 12:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those comments on David Schirmers website have sealed the deal for me. It has confirmed in my mind that his intention from the very beginning of his business dealings was to steal from people and take no responsibility for doing it. That is exactly what he is being accused of and exactly what it appears he has done. If anyone follows that sort of business ethic then they are doomed from the start. How can a person claiming to understand the secret or any of its principles act in such a way and be promoted by anyone? Can he not see that his own actions are categorically the catalyst for his own demise? What an arrogant and foolish idiot. I have no sympathy for him in fact I hope he is locked up the sooner the better. People exposing their arrogance in such a way deserve everything that they get and its not coming too soon for that guy. Now I can completely understand why so many people are so angry with him and why no-one wants to do business with him. Why would you? You know you are screwed from day one. As they say idiots eventually give themselves away just by talking. This guy is finished.

Sunday, November 02, 2008 7:04:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I stumbled across this site and got caught up reading all about schirmer and proctor and the more I read the more sick I felt. I see you Connie just filling the blog with words words words, you're obviously very intelligent but when I see someone hiding behind words the way you do I see a person filled with hate and rage. You are obviously very damaged and take delight in cutting down those who have succeeded with their lives on one level or another but the poison remains in you and in those who believe your linguistic tricks (eg. "word has it" that connie was molested as a child... - leaving your readers to believe that you have some special insider information) I noticed in your profile that you call yourself a "smartypants" and ironic but you are hiding behind language rather than face the rage that you have in your body - What's really ironic is that you deride Osho in one post yet he actually produced techniques to help people with dealing with that kind of rage. Techniques that have helped improve the lives of many thousands of people all around the world - one has to ask just what you are 'contributing' to the development of the world with this kind of hate filled projection of your own inferiority complex.

I don't expect that this comment will be approved - in fact I anticipate never seeing it again - but that's ok - as long as you get it... I sincerely hope you "get it" because this blog is a waste of a sharp intellect and a blessed life.

Monday, November 10, 2008 5:09:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon 7:04 PM (who commented about David Schirmer): He may be "finished," but apparently he hasn't gotten that memo yet, LOL. He's still out there trying to market himself as a wealth coach, (and a spirit-filled Christian to boot). We'll see what happens next...

Monday, November 10, 2008 6:12:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon 5:09 PM: Hmmm... let me guess... you're either an Osho follower or a Schirmer or Proctor fan... right? Or a follower of Dreaming-Bear, or a Joebot, or...

Oh, wait, no... you're HHH trying to fool me again, right? (That's no difficult task, as you know. But hey, I'm a good sport. :-))

Assuming, however, that this message is from a real Anon who is sincere in her/his pop psychoanalysis of Cosmic Connie, here goes...

To begin with, I am not "hiding" behind anything. I am using my real name here, and that's more than one can say about you, is it not? Moreover, despite all of my snarkiness I've been pretty honest here about my own doubts and fears and ambivalence regarding life's most important questions.

(You're really enjoying this, aren't you, HHH? C'mon, 'fess up...)

But to continue...
The people I snark about may be "successful" in that they make a lot of money, but I snark about them either because I believe that they have taken advantage of others in order to get where they are, or because I simply think they're ludicrous, or both.

I use terms such as "word has it" for two reasons: (1) to indicate an item that has been shared with me but that I have not verified, on account of the fact that I'm lazy and not a real journalist; and (2) to help preserve the anonymity of my various sources, who do in fact give me "inside" information all the time.

And for the record, I am not "damaged," nor was I molested as a child or as an adult. I'm sure you think you're reading something "hidden" in my "rage," but if you really think you've nailed it with that sly little "e.g." remark, you're definitely barking up the wrong tree.

You can stop snickering right now, HHH. I mean, just stop it! ;-)

But, okay, continuing with the charade...
Apparently, Anon, I really struck a nerve with you because of some passing remark I made about the late Osho (formerly Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh). Actually I found some of his work interesting, and I even mentioned this in my comment to Yakaru above.

But really, c'mon, HHH..."Anon" is really you, isn't it?

Monday, November 10, 2008 7:14:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

anon 5:09 spouted, "I see a person filled with hate and rage. You are obviously very damaged and take delight in cutting down those who have succeeded with their lives..."

Well, buckaroo, unless you're standing in front of a mirror, you've missed the mark by a mile. I've lived with Connie for 15 years, and can attest to the fact that there just isn't any rage in her (rage is my job!). Hell, she cries when a mouse gets caught in a trap, and catches the errant bug that comes into the house, carrying the creatures so very carefully outside, where she sets them free. I, on the other hand, just squash the little buggers without giving it a thought... Well, maybe a *little* bit of a thought. :-)

And she doesn't make anything up. either. People who are intimately familiar with the various hustledorks send Connie information, which she then passes along, with the understanding that her sources remain anonymous. And based upon the feedback we get - even from the hucksters themselves - the info is dead accurate. If she had any doubt, she wouldn't publish the stuff.

I think it worthy of note that she does so without hiding behind some pseudonym or posting anonymously, which takes some courage. And you shouldn't be too surprised that she posted your comment. She's caught worse from any number of the gurus' starry-eyed sycophants. Some of the derision she receives is actually pretty intelligent (try actually reading what she writes before responding, and you might aspire to such a lofty height, as well). Even the more idiotic responses, she publishes, so long as they aren't hate-filled name calling sessions. After all, it really reinforces the premise of her blog when disgruntled culties come around and make asses of themselves (not pointing any fingers here, mind you. I'm just saying...).

Bottom line here is that, having known a few of the more self-impressed "teachers" for a number of years, it has become obvious that the only people they're really helping are themselves... to their suckers' money. Hope you haven't spent too much. But it might just explain *your* obviously misplaced anger. Be well... :-)

Monday, November 10, 2008 7:25:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you, Ron...you defended me better than I could. :-) But I confess I did squash a roach the other night. OTOH, on the same evening I rescued a daddy long-legs spider from the shower, and a roly-poly bug from the kitchen sink.

I still feel bad about that poor little mouse last night, though...

Monday, November 10, 2008 7:32:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

Mr. Mouse feel a thing, beyond the anticipation of a fine repast. There are worse ways to check out, I'm sure. This was truly a case of "it hurt you more than it hurt him."

Monday, November 10, 2008 7:45:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, everyone:
I just received a comment to my September 2007 post about Dreaming-Bear and the Burning Man event. This is from an anonymous person who claims to be a friend of Dreaming-Bear and says that those who speculated that his wheelchair is part of an act are wrong. I thought it only fair to publish the comment here as well, along with my response.


Anonymous said...
I live on Maui and am Dreaming Bear's friend and yes, I happen to be female. I'm no girlfriend or devotee and I don't want to be. I don't call myself enlightened or worship Tilak. Think and gossip all you want but I feel compelled to share some light on his medical situation, as someone who has accompanied him on several trips to the hospital and has seen his MRI's. The wheelchair is no act. I don't see how he can scam an MRI and numerous doctors. He has some pretty serious issues with his back that will likely haunt him for the rest of his life. The surgical procedures he has undertaken will likely get him back on his feet soon but his condition is degenerative and most likely he will find himself unable to walk again. He'd much rather be recognized for his poetry, not for being in a wheelchair. It's pretty humiliating and an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone.
12:25 AM

Cosmic Connie said...
Anon 12:25 AM: Thank you for your perspective. I will also publish your comment in the discussion section of my most recent post about Dreaming-Bear. You are right that being wheelchair-bound, or having a degenerative condition, are not experiences that a compassionate person would wish on anyone. If what you are saying is true, then I owe D-B an apology for implying that the wheelchair is part of an act. I wish him a speedy recovery and many years of mobility.

I stand by my other opinions and observations about him, however.


Okay, I know that some of you may think that my apology (such as it was) is all but neutralized by my statement that I still stand by my other opinions about D-B. However, I would be less than honest if I were to imply that my apparent misjudgment about one aspect of D-B signifies a misjudgment across the board.

I am, of course, still open to hearing (and publishing) comments and observations from those who disagree with me.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008 11:55:00 AM  
Anonymous Squeaky Squekenforth jr said...

I never thought life would be so strange. You know, I was just doing my nightly rounds, scampering under the crockery cupboard when I saw this enrmous piece of tuna somebody had left for me!
I thought, "wow, look at that, there must be a whole week of fine feasting there. So I steps up, takes a little nibble and before I've even closed my gnashers on it I feel this terrific slap and there's this bright white flash of light.
Boy, I nearly jumped out of my skin.
In fact, looking down, I see that that was exactly what I did!
I'm looking at some poor guy stuck in a trap with his squeaking gear clamped round a piece of tuna, and a metal bar clamped on him, thinking, "dude, it's a mouse's life", then I realise that's not some poor guy, that's me!
Amazing, and I didn't feel no pain nor nothing, though I was a little dissapointed not to be getting my much anticipated fish feast.
So I'm pondering this when I feel this tugging sensation, and I feel like I'm being pulled upwards, slowly at first, then faster until I'm hurtling down this crazy tunnel at, like, a million scurries a second towards this faint light. I'm heading towards it and I imagine that I am a rock, then it's like I feel like I'm a tree and I remember what it's like to grow for a hundred years then fall, then I'm bug, then a slug then suddenly I'm in this great white space. It's filled with all my brothers and sisters, all floating round and having a serene old time. I think a thought and they think a thougt and it's like we communicate to each other without squeaking! And I realise I can fo anywhere, just by thinking. Cool! So I fly around for a while, just getting the feel of it, when my kin folk say (in my mind of course) "You have to move on, the boss is moving you up a rung". Then I feel that tugging and I'm drifting through space towards an island and I go down and there's this guy with long hair and he's got some sort of jacket with a fringe, and beads and he's talking to an audience in a strange dialect.
He keeps looking at a young human female with dreadlocks and wide open eyes, and he's saying things like,
"...our authentic Who We Are, fused in a blaze of hot cosmic candy floss, riding the wild surging comet of our being...",
and people in the audience are giving each other little white sticks which make smoke, and nodding like they have heard something they agree with.
I kind of miss the taste of electric cable insulation, you know, but I think that very soon I might be having some whole new experiences.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 5:22:00 PM  
Anonymous hhh said...

Oh Connie you poor dear, I didn't realised you were so confused-- 'is it HhH, is it not?

OK I have devised a brain exercise for you, this should make your neurons really fit.

Take your right foot and put on your right sock.

Take your left foot and put on your left sock.

Remove your left sock and put it on your light root.

Then remove your right rock and put it on your left foot.

Remove both your light rock and your left rock from you right root and left loot, respectively.

Place your left lock and your light rock back onto the feet they were originally on.

You should now have your fight lock on your right loot and your left sock on your fight loot.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008 11:41:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Squeaky, I am so sorry you had to leave your mouse-ly body in such a violent way, but I spent weeks begging you to leave. "You don't have to be a house mouse!" I kept saying. "Field mouse is a perfectly respectable profession!" But you would not listen. You kept nibbling at the bags and boxes of food, ruining uncounted dollars' worth of staples. (Curiously, you nibbled on the packet of Cock Flavoured Soup Mix, but left the Spotted Dick alone.)

Worst of all, Squeaky, you left your tiny little calling cards all over the place. And that stuff can carry hantavirus. I know that's not your fault, but that virus can be deadly. So I did what I had to do. Yes, I wept for you, fool that I am...but I had to do it.

You'll be pleased to know that within days of your departure, one of your cousins came calling. Pleading didn't work, so once again, Ron and I did what we had to do. And within days of that sad departure (which left me in tears again), yet another Squekenforth family member arrived. He was duly dispatched to the Great Beyond (my eyes moistened but I did not weep), only to be replaced by another, who rapidly met the same fate as you and the others. This time I did not even begin to cry. I was tired of cleaning up miserable little turdlets, tired of the sickly sweet wheat-germ smell of mouse pee, tired of throwing good food away.

After Mouse Number Four, we thought we were through with your lot. And then came another. A few nights ago Ron and I set out bait under the sink for that last one. The next day we saw the bait had been consumed. We have yet to find the consumer, but we will.

As I said, being a field mouse is a perfectly respectable profession.

Anyway, I wish you the best of luck in your new life. And if you happen to write a bestselling book about your experiences, Ron and I get royalties, since we were, after all, the ones who sent you on your way to glory.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH said:

"Remove your left sock and put it on your light root."

The reason I have light roots is that I never can decide if I want to be a redhead or a brunette.

I am sorry if I offended you by my facetious suggestions that my anonymous detractor might be you in disguise. I just wanted to have all of my bases covered.

But you're right; I am confused. Totally. I failed your test. My neurons don't fit at all.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 11:19:00 AM  
Anonymous HHH said...

You cannot choose between ravishing redhead and bedazzling brunette?
Yes, it must be difficult for someone like yourself to decide the notes with which to riff your radiance when you have such scintillating scale to choose from.

Thursday, November 27, 2008 6:06:00 PM  
Anonymous Eeeky Sqeckenforth. said...

Oh mighty Mouslala, protect us from the She Demon! Grant us your favour in our hour of need. We live for your glory! Let us prosper and multiply in your name!

Friday, November 28, 2008 2:17:00 AM  
Anonymous Weeky Squekenforth said...

Yes, we must defend our kin. We shall pee on her cornflakes!

Friday, November 28, 2008 2:18:00 AM  
Anonymous Meeky Squekenforth said...

And I shall run over her feet at night!

Friday, November 28, 2008 2:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Ueeqi Squekenforth said...

I shall climb into her husbands exhaust pipe and die! Fields of wheat await me in the afterworld, where the owls are blind and the justice of Mouslala reigns supreme!

Friday, November 28, 2008 2:22:00 AM  
Anonymous the MLF said...

Down with the She-Demon! Down with the She-Demon! Down with the She-Demon!

Friday, November 28, 2008 2:23:00 AM  
Anonymous Squeaky Squekenforth jr said...

No, brothers and sisters, you don't understand- you have the wrong idea!
There are no wheat fields in the afterlife, and Mouslala doesn't reign overthem. Cool your heels.
Can't you here me?
Oh darn it, DB is about to come... and I have to go.
Oh well, I tried.

Friday, November 28, 2008 2:27:00 AM  
Anonymous hhH said...

Oh boy, till I saw the news I didn't realise how closely I was echoing current events in my horsing about.

Friday, November 28, 2008 2:17:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

All of you in the Squekenforth clan: I don't take my eradication efforts lightly. But it had to be done. You all had the opportunities to be field mice!

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 2:08:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH said...

"You cannot choose between ravishing redhead and bedazzling brunette?

"Yes, it must be difficult for someone like yourself to decide the notes with which to riff your radiance when you have such scintillating scale to choose from."

Blond is one thing I've never considered, though. It just doesn't work for me.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008 2:10:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Connie! Long time no see. I'm reading and giggling (gosh, those Anontrolls are the same everywhere. Where is the cyber-pest control when you need it?)

Speaking of which, I've followed your Mousegate here holding my breath. It brought some memories... brrr. I think I'll keep 'em to myself. Suffice it to say, they involve flying (yes) mice, half-eaten (by mice) bars of soap, and a sheer terror of a semi-starving and lonely university student. (Don't ask, LOL.)

Anyway. My question is for your cats: HAVE YOU NO SHAME?

Honestly, Connie, are they so spoiled rotten that they leave the task of mice control to you? If that's the case, it's a total feline abomination.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 3:20:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Elizabeth! It's great to see you here again. I can well imagine the mouse horrors you had... I actually like the little creatures. I think they're cute. I just don't want them messing around in my stuff.

I really can't blame the cats, though. The mice were in the part of the house (kitchen, etc.) that we normally keep closed off from the cats. I did let the gatos into the No-Cat Zone a few times but they didn't manage to catch any mice, and were starting to make mischief so I duly banished them to "their" part of the house.

Wednesday, December 03, 2008 3:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Eeky Squenkenforth said...

We, the MLF, have the following demands;

1. The area under the crockery cupboard, behind the cooker and worktops is to be declared an autonomouse zone.

2. A 10 yard cat exclusion area is to be created around all mouse territories.

3. Hardened plastic food containers are to be prohibited.

4. All traps must be encapsualted in styrofoam, and have large flashing lights attached.

5. Eeking and Squeaking are to recognised as official languages of the autonomouse zone.

6. An amnesty on all prisoners in so called humane traps and cages.

7. The removal from mouse territories of all degrading or stereotyping images of talking mice, mice that fight with ducks, mice that embark on fantastic expeditions etc.

Friday, December 05, 2008 1:59:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

I'll grant you 1 and 5. Re no. 1, if you guys stick to those zones it will be easier for the Mouse Eradication Patrol to find you. Re no. 5, I have no problem with eeking and squeaking, because I'm always open to learning new languages. I suppose I can grant you number 7 too. This house is a Mickey-Mouse Free zone. However, I do have British author & illustrator Graham Oakley's delightful (I'm sorry, but it IS delightful to me) "Church Mouse" series on display on a shelf in my private office, which adjoins the kitchen. But that is not officially in the autonomouse zone.

The remainder of your requests are denied. I'm sorry to have to be so cruel, but remember, there's still that field mouse option.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go find the corpse of the Squekenforth who most recently took the bait. He is beginning to stink.

Friday, December 05, 2008 2:18:00 PM  
Anonymous The MLF said...

Your blasphemous and patronising Church Mouse is and affront to Mouslala.
Extra poo on your worktop!

Friday, December 05, 2008 3:29:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

But the Church Mouse books actually reinforced my fondness for your race. And I am, despite the horrid things I've done, quite fond of your race -- just NIMH (Not In My House).

Friday, December 05, 2008 3:57:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

If you have a problem with mices, you should leave GMO corn laying around the place.


Friday, December 05, 2008 6:33:00 PM  
Anonymous hHH said...

Oh, NIMH, heh, only took me three hours to get that one.

Friday, December 05, 2008 6:39:00 PM  
Anonymous the MLF said...

The church mice are hellbound blasphemers who will be torn into a thouseand peices and devoured by a thousand devils!

Friday, December 05, 2008 7:06:00 PM  
Anonymous The MLF said...

We like Nick Drake too.

Sunday, December 07, 2008 2:37:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Everyone: We've been discussing this matter on a more recent thread on this blog, but since I mentioned Dreaming-Bear in this post I felt it appropriate to state here that I recently (Dec. 18, 2008) received a private email from someone I believe to be Dreaming-Bear. It addresses many of the thing written about him here.

Although he implied that he wanted me to share the email on my blog he did not exactly state that this was the case. Just to make sure I had all my bases covered, I sent him an email back, asking his permission to publish his message on my blog.

I have yet to hear back from him, even though I've since sent a follow-up email. While I am still awaiting permission, however, I did want to at least share what he told me about the wheelchair. He said he was severely injured in an auto accident some years back and has had several back operations since then. He added that he is legally disabled and cannot walk without a walker. I haven't verified this, but I thought I would pass it along.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009 5:07:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If he can't walk, what is he doing dancing around a stage?

Thursday, January 08, 2009 11:11:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anonymous 11:11 AM said...

"If he can't walk, what is he doing dancing around a stage?"

Your guess is as good as mine. It could be that the videos of him dancing on stage were taken before he became so disabled that he can now only walk with a walker. But perhaps the walker is a mark of progress; by Googling the phone number he included in his email to me (but which I will not publish), I did see a listing on Craigslist Hawaii for an electric wheelchair, listed at $700.

Thursday, January 08, 2009 1:21:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

However, Anon 11:11 AM, if you know of current or very recent videos of Dreaming-Bear dancing or otherwise ambulating normally, then perhaps that would be worth mentioning.

One person commented recently that the wheelchair image isn't really very compatible with the hot-young-hunk image, so that might be an argument in favor of D-B's disability being all for real. OTOH, if he is trying to change his image for whatever reason (to win sympathy points, and/or to be a "miracle in the making"), then that could be motive for exaggerating a disability.

Again, this is all just speculation...but in any case, I'm still waiting to hear from D-B to give me clearance to publish his email to me.

Thursday, January 08, 2009 1:35:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

On 23 March 2009, I received this comment to another blog post, but it really belonged here.

bennever said...

I notice that you have used an image of W J Ennever from my site but did not seek permission. I tried to email but that was returned as undeliverable.

Please will you be kind enough to credit the source or remove the image. Many tks

Barry Ennever

4:05 AM

I publicly replied to him:
Hi, Barry:
First off, I am sorry you were having problems sending an email; sometimes Juno acts up. Actually, comments to my blog go to the same email address to which you were apparently trying to send your message.

At any rate, please accept my apologies for not attributing the image. Actually it did not appear in this post, but in this one:

However, I will also copy and paste this message in the post to which it belongs, and I will, as you requested, either remove (or replace) the image or attribute it. Thanks for pointing this out to me.
10:18 AM

Monday, March 23, 2009 10:21:00 AM  

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