Monday, November 14, 2016

A reptile dysfunction

As the Trumpsters continued to gloat and the huddled masses desperately attempted to self-soothe by referencing the... choke... President-elect's "don't be scared" homilies on last night's episode of 60 Minutes, I sat down and knocked out some lyrics, inspired by recent campaign history. It didn't change the unabashed awfulness of things, such as the facts that the orange atrocity will soon have his stubby fingers on the nuclear codes, and that Leonard Cohen is still dead... but it was good therapy.

The Orange Snake*
by Cosmic Connie

On the road to ruin one morning
Down the path along the lake
Some angry voters came upon a huge and leering snake
His skin was orange and glowing and he wore a bright red hat
"Oh my, " the voters cried, "Here’s something new! Let’s vote for that!”
“Vote me in, o angry voters
Vote me in, for heaven’s sake
Vote me in, unhappy citizens,” smirked the snake.

They welcomed him so warmly even as he bared his fangs
They cheered his glowing orangeness and his odd combed-over bangs
They clapped and cheered at every hateful diatribe he spewed
For they believed that under him the realm would be renewed.
“Vote me in, unhappy voters
Vote me in, for heaven’s sake
Vote me in, you angry voters,” grinned the snake

And they did despite his hatefulness.** “Our hero!” they all cried
"If Killary had won, our dear Republic would have died!”
They cheered the huge orange reptile till reality intruded:
They saw he’d granted favors but that they were not included.
“Stop your whining, loser voters
Suck it up, for heaven’s sake
I’ve made our country greater,” leered the snake.
“We loved you, " cried the voters
“And you've screwed us so, but why?
You know the things you’re doing might just make our nation die!”
“Oh shut up, stupid losers,” said the reptile with a grin
“You knew damn well just what I was before you voted me in
You bought my lies, you losers
Every lie, for heaven’s sake
And now I’m here forever,” jeered the snake.

© 2016 by Connie L. Schmidt

* No offense intended to actual snakes, which serve a useful purpose in nature.
** I recognize that many people voted for Drumpf
because of his hatefulness,
not in spite of it, but I was trying to maintain the meter.

Frankly, I would love to be proven wrong on the outcome suggested in my lyrics, but for now... well, as I said, it was good therapy. If you want to sing along but don't know the tune, here's this. I hear that singing is also good therapy.

Finally, there's this, from John Oliver. Watch it; it's good therapy too.


PS added 25 February  2018: The Drumpf/snake video I originally embedded at the beginning of this post is no longer available, so I posted an updated video of Herr Twitler rabble-rousing at a recent Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) rally.


Anonymous said...

Set your doggerel to music and your poem could well become "the" torch song for the non Trumpists. In an in-your-face kind of way they can use it to continually remind the dumb schmucks who annointed Trump (and the ones too lazy to even be bothered to vote) how it will quickly unravel for them. The rust belt will get rustier and the coal mines will stay closed. And for a period of time things will get pretty ugly on the streets.

Cosmic Connie said...

Ha. "Doggerel" is a good description. But I don't write music, just lyrics. However, anyone who wants to sing it privately can use the existing tune for "The Snake" (see video). If they want to perform it publicly they'll have to get permission from the copyright holders of "The Snake" to use the tune, and permission from me to use the lyrics.

As I noted in my post, I hope my song turns out to be wrong. I hope you're wrong. But I have a feeling that things are indeed going to get pretty ugly and it's very possible that nobody will feel like singing.