Salty Droid corners Coldwell and kicks him right in his Krautsack*

So there is this little Teutonic twerp, Mocktor Leonard Coldwell, the former Bernd Klein of the Republic of Germany, holder of several faux-HD degrees and some iffy-at-best naturopathic doctoring creds. Once he was once a b.f.f. of jailed serial scammer Kevin Trudeau. You know the guy I'm talking about; you've met him here before. Anyway. On February 10, 2014, Coldwell filed a comically stupid defamation per se complaint against Jason Jones, aka Salty Droid.

For those of you who haven't yet seen it, here is the actual signed, dated, stamped, official copy of the complaint.

LoonyC was all over Facebook crowing about this suit, which was filed in Chicago (Cook County), Illinois -- as snarked about previously on this Whirled. The little pufferfish also sent out the unsigned, undated draft of the complaint to his email lists. And when the Cook County Legal Journal posted a short piece about the filing of the suit, he shared that link on Facebook. (Of course the piece was quickly spoiled by comments about the "doctor" who had accused the blogger of libel.)

Lenny bragged, and bragged, and bragged. He boasted about how he was going to ruin Salty, and take some other bloggers -- such as Bernie at GINtruth, and yours truly -- down in the bargain. Some of his minions/sugar babies gleefully shared the news of the defamation complaint on Facebook threads of their own.
Actually, contrary to Abe's declaration, Coldwell did not sue Bernie, though Abe was right about Bernie being overseas; he's in Japan. But Salty isn't overseas.

Alas, Coldwell didn't do his homework, and neither did his rent-a-lawyer. As you may know if you read previous posts about this matter, the defamation doc conflated Jason Jones, aka Salty Droid, with another blogger who has also written about Coldwell, Omri Shabat, who writes the Glancing Web blog. Omri lives in Israel, and Jason lived in Cook County, Illinois but no longer resides there, and hasn't since some time in 2013. But he's definitely not in Israel.

And by the way, contrary to Loony C's totally made-up stories on Facebook, Jason did not "run away" from Chicago because he found out the little Loon was suing him. He moved long before this dumb lawsuit was started. It had nothing to do with Coldwell's bluster.

Point is, Jason and Omri are two different people. I've seen the affidavits that prove it, not that I ever doubted it. Nevertheless the defendant in the suit was named as, "Omri Shabat, aka Jason Jones." And all of the cited blog posts that had Herr Teutwerp's panties in a wad were penned (or keyboarded) by Omri, not Jason.

Like the good non-practicing but nevertheless legally savvy lawyer he is, Jason replied to the complaint.And here is the first part of his long-awaited report about the case, published just today (April 3).

Jason as Salty mentioned Loony's rants about how he and several other bloggers are engaged in the "federal crime" of "conspiracy to destroy the grounds of a business." Wrote Salty:

“Conspiracy to destroy the grounds of a business” is not a crime of course :: or a real thing even … it’s just creepy old man babbling. And what business? Is swimming in Kevin Trudeau’s wake with your mouth wide open a business?

That sounds about right.

In this post, Jason has links to two legal documents he filed, complete with juicy exhibits. There's a Motion to Dismiss this totally silly case, as well as a Sanctions Memo, which gently and very professionally suggests that Loony and the lawyer should, at the very least, get their wrists slapped and slapped good, for the record.

I had been expecting something like this to emerge at some point, since I've been following the case summary. The case summary only provides the basics, though. Salty filled in some much needed details.

Interestingly enough, on February 27, Loony's rent-a-lawyer, Dennis Kellogg (who is apparently mostly a personal injury attorney), filed a motion to withdraw as counsel.

Notice that the lawyer said he had to withdraw "for professional reasons." I'll say. He also said that the address of the Plaintiff (Coldwell) "cannot be disclosed due to the sensitive nature of the case."

Huh. Coldwell doesn't mind plastering his critics' addresses all over the place (even if they happen to be the wrong addresses). He has actually done this before, implying that he hoped that some of his more rabid fans would go after the critics. He did that with the "marinated Droid" (Salty) a few times and even with the "cosmic slut."

But his address cannot be published, due to sensitive natures and whatnot.

But I digress. I imagine Lenny got a bit flustered when he found out that his hack attorney had made a motion to withdraw from the case. I base this conclusion on the fact that on the very same day that the motion to withdraw as counsel was filed -- February 27 -- Coldwell sent Jason a hilarious email, saying that the "district attorney is taking care of this now federal case." Actually, in the email Loony seems to be pretending that he is someone else, since "Dr." C is referred to in the third person. 

By the way, district attorneys don't take care of federal cases. U.S. attorneys do.

On the same day that Kellogg filed his motion to withdraw and Loony had his email exchange with Jason, Loony also wrote some Facebook posts about how he had found out that the case was a "federal" criminal conspiracy case. What a way to try to save face. I wonder if anyone actually believed him.

Both of the screen shots below were taken on February 27, 2014. The first one also shows up as part of Exhibit B in Jason's Sanctions Memo (here is that link again).


In the second one, Coldwell tells the fib that Jason wrote emails begging for mercy and indicating that he was scared of Loony. Um... wrong. He goes on and on about Jason not having the appropriate lawyerly malpractice insurance, totally overlooking the fact that on his own bio on his own blog -- as well as many other places -- Jason has said that he is not a practicing attorney. He makes no secret of that. But never mind that; Loony has his tiny mind set on slamming Jason's real credentials, as a red herring to distract from his own phony creds. In the same rant he says that "the other" (probably meaning Omri, but also possibly referring to Bernie and me as well) will have fun too because he is "coming." Eeeew. TMI, Lenny.

At any rate, the judge allowed Attorney Kellogg's motion to withdraw on March 17, the same day that Trudeau was sentenced. We'll have to see if Mr. Kellogg's daft decision to take the case will result in sanctions, as Jason requested. Here's that link again.

Apparently Loony was also frustrated because he never could serve papers on Jason. So on March 20 he offered a $500 reward for anyone who could find Jason.

This wasn't the first time that Loony had put a bounty on Jason's head. Who could forget this hilarious incident from September 2012? That was back in the day when Salty actually did live in Chicago in a posh high-rise apartment, contrary to Coldwell's claims that Salty was lying about living in such a nice place.

I guess those ace bounty hunters got right on it because just yesterday, April 2, Lenny posted a Facebook threat insinuating that thanks to all of his supporters or lawyers or private dicks or whatever, "we" had finally tracked "the Droid" to the place where he was "hiding." I wonder if anyone who has done any reading or research at all still believes Loony's totally bonkers version of these tales.

A case management conference is currently scheduled for April 17, 2014, presumably to decide on the motions that haven't already been decided. At the very least, the case should, in my non-professional and totally unqualified legal opinion, be dismissed, as per Jason's Motion to Dismiss. Here again is that link.

I'm not making any concrete predictions about the outcome of this case. At the very least, these legal documents provide another record of Coldwell's daftness. And this case may serve as a cautionary tale for any other lawyers who might be tempted to take on any of his future silly cases. I don't really expect Loony to give up his side career of filing frivolous lawsuits and threatening to do so. It's just part of his M.O. But every time he does this, it erodes his credibility just a little bit more. I think even some of his business partners realize that, and may be trying to distance themselves from his legal blunders.

As for his choice to take Jason on, it's very possible that Lenny has really backed himself into a corner this time. But he seems to like sitting in corners, if that famous desk pic is any indication (thanks to my special Aussie pal for suggesting this...um...angle). Anyhow, many of us have stocked up on popcorn, awaiting the results. I have a feeling that Jason isn't finished slapping the little twerp around yet. Meanwhile, it's awfully good to see the little fake robot back in action, and feistier than ever.

* One of the case law citations on Jason's Motion for Sanctions was Krautsack v Anderson, 329 Ill.App.3d 666, 768 N.E.2d 133 (1st Dist. 2002). Maybe I am just too easily amused, but I giggled when I saw that, particularly when I thought of this picture, which was published on this September 2012 post.

UPDATE 18 April, 2014:
As the old poem goes, "for want of a lawyer, the case was lost..." Or at least dismissed. On 17 April, 2014, this silly case was "DISMISSED FOR WANT OF PROSECUTION."

It's possible that we haven't heard the last of this from Lenny, though. He may very well try to continue his spin that he subsequently "learned" that the case was actually a Federal criminal case of "conspiracy to destroy grounds of business," so he chose to abandon the other case in pursuit of bigger quarry. Stay tuned...