Wednesday, September 17, 2008

After the storm

Well, I'm back.

Although I suspect that a few Secretrons, LOA-noids, assorted Joebots and a certain Blunder From Down Under welcomed the brief reprieve – and perhaps even hoped it would go on indefinitely – here I am nonetheless, only a little worse for the wear.

In case you were wondering, we got slammed by Hurricane Ike, though we were spared the very worst of it. But large parts of the Texas coast are devastated; some of the smaller coastal communities were all but wiped off the map, and Houston, the fourth largest city in the US, and my home for most of my life, is a wreck – particularly the downtown area.

The Ranch at the Edge of Nowhere, where we live now, is about fifty miles northwest of Houston, but we still got whacked – not just by the hurricane but by scattered tornadoes. (Maybe these were the "white tornadoes of love" that Joe Vitale wrote about in the follow-up to his "Help Me Stop Rita" email in 2005.) Fences were wrecked, tin roofs were blown off of horse barns...

...and huge trees were felled. One tree outside the gate on the north side of our house was split in two...

...and another tree on the west side fell over into the foxhound kennel next door (fortunately, no dogs were hurt that I know of). Yet another west-side tree that once lived happily in our next door neighbor's yard is now mostly in our yard, leaning somewhat precariously towards my side of the office. All that is keeping it from toppling is another tree in our yard – our guardian tree, as it were.

Cleanup crews are hard at work now all over the place, but the whole area still has a disheveled look.

But it's nothing compared to what Galveston and surrounding areas look like, not to mention large chunks of Houston. As I said, we had far from the worst of it. (Ron's best friend still doesn't know the status of his beach house on Galveston's decimated west end. For decades that little house and its glorious deck have been the scene of countless gatherings large and small, all manner of revelry and interludes of wild abandon; Ron and I have many fond memories of it.) For all you negative Neds and Nellies who insist on focusing on unpleasant stuff rather than on the hustledork offering du jour, here's a link to news updates on Ike and the aftermath.

Houston was crippled and Galveston nearly destroyed, but recovery has already begun. And here on The Ranch, Ron and I are creeping back to normal after being without power or running water for three and a half days. It was an ordeal to be sure, but nothing compared to the ordeal that countless other folks experienced, and not even nearly as much of one as we would have experienced if Ron had not been so skilled in the art of roughing it. He did everything possible to prepare us, even cleaning up a rusting old Coleman camp stove he'd bought at a garage sale for ten bucks a few years ago. We also cleaned the big smoker in our back yard to prepare for a massive impromptu cookout.

And that's a good thing, because despite our best efforts, hundreds of dollars of meat, poultry, fish and prepared foods began thawing in our freezer. As a consequence, Ron and the camp stove and the smoker were very busy for a few days (well, okay, I did a little work too; I cleaned up). We ate quite well, and so did the ranch hands and even a few of the barn dogs that have always liked to hang around our place (and like it even more now that they've sampled country-style ribs a la Ron). We were glad to share our bounty with the hands. Since they didn't have any power either they couldn't cook for themselves, and even in the best of times they have a lot less, materially, than we do.

At the risk of sounding a little corny, I want to say that Ron is my own personal hero – all the time, actually, but especially in these past few days. He just shrugs and says that survival stuff is really nothing more than common sense. But since I have little or no common sense myself and possess few if any practical survival skills, these are not things that I will ever take for granted.

In light of the many gifts Ike left behind, I feel obligated to do a follow-up on those wind whisperers I snarked about the other day.

First up: the aforementioned Joe V, aka Mr. Fire. As large parts of Texas were being pummeled by the storm and its aftermath, Joe (who had recycled his "Stop Rita" email with a mass plea to "help me stop Ike") was Tweeting away on Twitter about how great his own life was going. Ike got but a passing mention:

9:03 AM September 13: Waiting for Ike to send wind and rain to us, but hopefully in a diluted, relaxed, safe way.

12:44 PM September 13: Ike skipped us. No winds or rain. Meanwhile, my infomercial is testing and rocking...

10:04 AM September 14: Too busy with books, infomercial, new audios, projects, etc to be looking at new homes, but here we are, looking at new homes.

2:55 PM September 14: Working on tan by pool on a clear sunny day reading Hicks' Money and the Law of Attraction...

8:36 PM September 14: Back from the hot tub. Ahhhhhh. See my youtube channel (and subscribe to it)...

He also Tweeted about the mansion in LA that once belonged to Mary Pickford and that he almost bought and still is considering buying. And so on.

Well, hey, the guy deserves a break after all that hard work on Hurricane Ike. He was, after all, completely successful in making Ike skip his area. The fact that his area never was under any threat to speak of was probably due to his ongoing efforts to send out white tornadoes of love, or perhaps to his status as the Buddha of the Internet and a Fourth-Stage Awakened person. (The Fourth Stage is something he recently invented found out about, and turned into a course that he is now selling.) As for those of us who got slammed by the 'cane, we obviously attracted it, or didn't work hard enough not to attract it, just like those folks in the San Diego area whose homes were destroyed by those wildfires last fall.

In the days before Ike landed in Texas, our favorite hurricane lady, Phoenix/Spirit Diva, was also very busy. She certainly exerted a lot of effort on ol' Ike, or vice-versa; she channeled not one but three messages from him. Interestingly enough, Ike (and one of his recent predecessors, Gustav) are much better spellers than previous hurricanes. (D'ya think maybe they read my snarky remarks and finally turned on their spell checkers?) Anyway, Ike went on and on about how appearances are deceiving. For example, here's what he told Spirit Diva on September 6:

Do not be deceived by one's size.
Often just like large people,
within each seeming large storm
is the heart of a teddy bear.
Do not be intimidated.
Choose to look within the largeness and
see the heart of the child inside...

The next day Ike told Spirit Diva this:

Things are rarely as they appear.
Things that seem to go wrong and
turn your life up-side down and
inside out serve a higher good.
On the surface view, one may see
destruction, pain, suffering and more.
From a higher perspective one's outer world or
community, politics, religion, business are
experiencing a mind-body-spirit cleansing, if you will...
...We hurricanes, like the various storms of life,
are means to expedite the transformational process of growth.
As you come together to transform me,
know and honor my higher purpose.
All these things are always done for self-realization.
We greatly appreciate your coming together
to commune with me, with all storms...

After that message, Ike was apparently silent until September 12, when he revealed this:

Peace. Peace. Peace.
All transformation begins with Peace.
It is not enough to talk about it or
even to go through the motions as if you were...
...Connect with this higher truth. Feel its love and light fill your whole being.
Be one with this love and light.
See and Feel and Think from this place.
Know Peace. Radiate Peace. Be Peace.
All is well.

And then very early the next morning, Ike proceeded to wipe away a great deal of the Texas coast.

I hate to tell you this, Hurricane Lady, but I think your big lovable teddy bear was just yanking your chain.

Last but not least, particularly if we're talking about ego size, we have the Father of Hurricane Reductions, Glen Stewart, who originally got his hurricane-reducing inspiration from none other than Joe Vitale. On September 12, the day before Ike hit Texas, Glen was very certain that Ike was NBD.

Hurricane Ike is it the deadly monster hurricane that we should fear?

In a word - NO…

Hurricane Ike will be our 17th successful hurricane Reduction in a row…

I proudly say this because myself and my global “Save a Dream-Team” have been dissipating it for over a week. And we are ramping up efforts to take it up a notch as I write this...

I've yet to see a post-Ike utterance from Glen. But he's probably just resting from all of his hard work. The good news is that you, too, have a chance to be part of his team, for as little as $27.00 for a Bronze Membership ("your introduction to saving lives by our world class Hurricane Reduction training...perfect for the tightest budgets"). But if you really want to get the full benefit of his wisdom, $10,000.00 will buy you the highest level of Corporate Sponsorship. ("As a Corporate Sponsor with 6 Execs and up to 50 Employees: World Class Production of "One With The Winds" on DVDs Monthly to 50 employees. In addition to our World Çlass Online Training Enviornment. We customize levels of Training Coverage as a Template for your Company".) Heck of a deal! Sign up here.

And don't think that Glen just tackles hurricanes. He's also helping prevent the Earth's destruction via deadly asteroids.

And on his September 9 blog entry he invited the whole world to beat a path to his door, coyly hinting at all of the riches he has to offer:

Go Ahead The servers can handle it - I now have multiple redundant servers to deliver every nuance of a world class hurricane reduction, golf, sports training, wellness, healing, couples and weight loss experience.

Quite the Renaissance megalomaniac, wouldn't you say?

But it's those mighty winds that seem to engage most of his attention. In a March 2008 piece on, he wrote about deadly tornadoes and what he is doing to stop them. He also gave us ordinary folk a hint of how he works his magic (and remember, you too can learn this magic if you know how to use Paypal).

How can a human being possibly lessen severe effects of a deadly hurricane? It is a question involving Ancient civilizations to fully understand. Many of you heard of Dr. Joe Vitale as well as the movie The Secret. The Law of Attraction was arguably the best insight to be gleaned from the entire movie. I've known Dr. Joe Vitale for about 5 1/2 years through e-mails and occasional phone conversation. Joe indirectly offered the idea of what can be done with some of my extensive mind over matter research.

Joe Vitale mentioned a forward thinking study in a now pivotal e-mail. There were 19 scientific studies* about a group of humans focusing on a positive intention. This group can actually manifest peaceful harmonics and positively influence a city. These landmark results were proven using transcendental meditation to create a more peaceful society. one case study was demonstrated in Washington, DC and as a result the crime rate was reduced remarkably

About three years ago the US was faced with a deadly category five hurricane named Hurricane Rita. A category five hurricane means that group be sustained winds were 165 miles an hour or over. Rita was every bit of it.

Help me stop Rita was Dr. Joe Vitale's emotional outcry in his e-mail with only a day before hurricane Rita was predicted to hit Houston, Texas. Joe's initial concern was to calm down everyone that was freaking out and trying to leave the city and his e-mail he basically asked myself and others to manifest peacefulness towards the area.

I however saw a far deeper need to reach out and help the people. I combined Law of Attraction principles with meditation, energy cultivation, and mind over matter techniques. Reiki, Ki. Chi , Crystals and other approaches. A direct reduction in deadly hurricane force winds was my focused intention as I directed myself into a higher harmonic state of mind.

Perhaps the most unseen beauty amongst this milestone in mankind is the fact that helping heal mother nature of turbulent energy also has a healing effect on yourself as well. This evolutionary Mind Body Spirit training is called the One With The Winds workshop.

Reducing Hurricane Rita was a tough one. The weather Channel in fact reported that Rita had more strength than the deadly Perfect Storm of 1991...

But our heroic Father of Hurricane Reduction was able to pull it off! With the help of Joe and the Joebots, and Spirit Diva and her gang of love-bombers, he turned Rita from a snarling bitch into a purring pussycat. And he's been going nonstop ever since, with his latest triumph being Ike.**

So here is what I want you to do, Dear Ones. As you survey the photos of the devastation created by Ike, send out a prayer of gratitude to our stalwart wind whisperers, for had it not been for their efforts, things could have been ever so much worse. In fact, according to a September 13 AP story, the economic damage from Ike may be less than originally feared, due to a small change in the storm's course just before it hit Texas. That had to have been due to the mighty minds of our hurricane tamers, don't you think?

And while you are at it, say a prayer of thanks to Ike and his fellow 'canes, too. After all, they always have nothing but our well-being in mind. These storms kill us by the thousands and attempt to destroy everything we have so carefully built, but really and truly, it is all for our own higher good.

* Those 19 "scientific" studies mentioned by "Dr." Joe Vitale (and Glen) were all related to Transcendental Meditation, and were conducted by the late Maharishi Mahesh Yogi's organization – certainly an unbiased source for scientifical research!
** I am still willing to entertain the possibility that Glen Stewart is just yanking our chains and his whole hurricane-reduction shtick is actually an elaborate hoax. But really, that possibility seems ever more remote as I discover more of his writings. I do wonder if anyone is actually idiotic enough to pay $10,000 for an "executive membership"...


Anonymous said...

I can't help but think what the hell is going on with these people. I find it so deeply saddening that out of the selfish help industry has grown such arrogance and disrespect like we have never seen before. Admittedly, it is only being perpetrated by the few but it only takes one bad apple to ruin the lot or one weevil in the flour to render the entire sack useless.

What has become of our society when we are producing such terrible soul destroying arrogance?

All I can say is that I really believe that out of that arrogance comes an equal response and God help them because their damage is far reaching.

Anonymous said...

I love this Glen character, he has so missed the point.
'Perhaps the most unseen beauty amongst this milestone in mankind is the fact that helping heal mother nature of turbulent energy also has a healing effect on yourself as well.'
He fails to grasp that our notion of 'mother nature' is a euphemism for turbulent energy--and Mama has a nifty solution all of her own for the healing of turbulent energy--it's called death in human-speak.
Heal and intend your way out of that one, Glen.

Anonymous said...

Those hurricane meditators are doing mankind a grave disservice by focusing their efforts on storms that already exist.

I, myself, have decided to focus my truly AWESOME skills on preventing storms from happening in the first place.

I now proclaim myself to be personally responsible for preventing several HUNDRED--no, wait, let's make that several THOUSAND--storms from ever materializing. Just last week alone. Yes, that's the ticket. Thousands and THOUSANDS of storms dissipated before they even existed. All because of me.

Boy, am I tired.

You're welcome.

(Glad to hear everyone's okay. Been sending good thoughts your way, even though I can't yet figure out a way to financially benefit from the effort. Because that's the kind of altruistic gal Mojo is, once you get past her cruel exterior and her shriveled, blackened heart.)

RevRon's Rants said...

Did you honestly think that the grifters like Glen and Joe would allow a marketing opportunity - *any* marketing opportunity - to pass without attempting to tap into it? Their feigned concern for the victims, along with the implied blame directed at the victims, speaks clearly to their collective arrogance. That they so smugly brag about having avoided harm themselves tells just how "benevolent" these scammers truly are. They should truly be ashamed, but we know that's not gonna happen, because shame - no matter how well deserved - is a "negative" thing, to be avoided at all costs.

What they seem to forget (aside from the concept of common decency) is that storms are an integral part of nature's insistence upon balance. The more humans affect the environment, the more the environment will act to correct itself. George Carlin was right when he said (paraphrased), screw "save the planet." When we've screwed things up enough, Mother Earth will shake us off like a dog shakes off a bad set of fleas. It would be more accurate and honest for us to be crying, "save our asses" instead.

Anonymous said...

Gee. that RevRon sure sounds like a real gem. I think he deserves breakfast in bed, foot massages, and all the wanton, unbridled sex he desires. Maybe even a new motorcycle. I'm just sayin'... :-)

Cosmic Connie said...

Anon 7:57 PM: Yes, it is sad, but IMO, the arrogance you mention is widespread within the selfish-help industry. It's not just one bad apple or a few bad apples.

As for the damage they do, that is difficult to assess but certainly worth considering, and I am actively considering it even as I continue to take my mostly lighthearted, snarky approach. While I hold somewhat of a moderate position on the issue of damage, several other people whose views I respect are more adamant about it. I do think it's possible that some of the effects are insidious and not immediately apparent.

Cosmic Connie said...

Mojo, you have my profound gratitude for all of those storms you have prevented. I secretly even think your snoring/drooling meditation might have been what really influenced Ike to change his course at the last minute, in order to minimize economic damage. Good work, my friend.

I still think we can create a program with some of your ideas.

Cosmic Connie said...

Oh, and thank you for the good thoughts you sent in our direction too, Mojo. :-)

Cosmic Connie said...

Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Ellen wrote:
"He fails to grasp that our notion of 'mother nature' is a euphemism for turbulent energy--and Mama has a nifty solution all of her own for the healing of turbulent energy--it's called death in human-speak.
Heal and intend your way out of that one, Glen."

Well said, Ellen, but I have the feeling these points would be lost on this Glen character! Or he would just say that you're looking at things from a perspective of limitation rather than from a perspective of higher wisdom and infinity. :-)

Cosmic Connie said...

Cosmic Connie said...

Excellent points, Ron. The selfish-help industry is one where arrogance abounds, thinly disguised as altruism or enlightenment.

But really, maybe Joe has the right attitude. Maybe we'd all be better off if we took a cue from him, ignoring the whiners and concentrating on the winners. I'm just waiting for comments on the hurricane from a certain Joebot who comes across as such a hustledork that he's almost a caricature of a hustledork: Joe's VP of marketing, Peter Wank. Oops, did I spell that last name wrong? Oh, sorry.

I'm sure that if he bothers with the hurricane issue at all, Peter will have some words of wisdom such as "Get over it!" But just in case he doesn't have time in his busy schedule as a bestselling author to write a new post, I'm offering, free of charge, this link to one of Peter's classic "Get over it!" posts. Here are some words of inspiration for all of you out there who are still whining because of Hurricane Ike's damage (even though it's been nearly a week since the storm hit), or are unhappy because of any other perceived losses in your lives:

As Mojo would say, "You're welcome."

Cosmic Connie said...

Anonymous 11:08 AM said...

"Gee. that RevRon sure sounds like a real gem. I think he deserves breakfast in bed, foot massages, and all the wanton, unbridled sex he desires. Maybe even a new motorcycle. I'm just sayin'... :-)"

Anon, anon, your name rhymes with "Ron"... ;-)

I'll get right on it. (Or on you.) Now, the motorcycle might take a little longer; we will probably have to wait till the next big check comes in.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I wasn't expecting that report. Well, I'm glad you're okay. (How can he be thinkin' about a new motorcycle????)

All I can say re the Hurricane Hustlers: You know what happens when you mess with Mother Nature.

Anonymous said...

I watch in amazement as these arrogant egotistical fools make the largest mistake of their lives attempting to appeal the people who they want to buy their stuff. Idiots, absolute shameful idiots. Can't wait to see the law of attraction come back and bite their backsides big time. And some time in the not too distant future they will be made to eat their own crap and they'll choke on it. Some are already.

Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Lana: We really are grateful that we didn't have it worse than we did. As for the motorcycle, Ron's always thinking about motorcycles! Well, almost always. He's almost a lifelong motorcycle owner but decided to sell his bike last year when we were experiencing a bit of a setback and needed the extra money. I tried to talk him out of it but he said it was NBD; he'd replace it when feasible. I'd love to be able to buy him a bike right now, but of course, we have a few other things to take care of first. The foot massage and the other requests, though, I think I can handle. :-)

Cosmic Connie said...

Addendum to Lana: You said it about Mother Nature. She doesn't suffer fools gladly.

Cosmic Connie said...

Anon 7:30 PM: Yes, some of the hucksters are "attracting" a bit of trouble to themselves, aren't they?

Anonymous said...

Its a pity these people don't spend more time truly being charitable instead of being so up themselves they don't understand reality.

Cosmic Connie said...

Anon 8:58 PM: In all fairness, I am sure that some of these people *are* charitable in various ways. But that doesn't make their arrogance any less annoying.

Anonymous said...

A motorcycle it is! Poof! (Let me know what just turned up in your driveway. I'm a little rusty.)

Your addendum is right on :-) I see a perfect storm in the making.

RevRon's Rants said...

Thanks lana (and Connie). The ride on my new motorcycle was great. The foot massage soothed my weary bones. The sex was absolutely eye-crossing and seizure-inducing (Who was that other girl, by the way? And where do you find batteries that last so long?). The breakfast in bed looked absolutely scrumptious, but I never got to taste it. The damn dog licked my face and awakened me, and I realized it had all been a dream. Bummer!

Cosmic Connie said...

Ron, it wasn't a dream. But I don't know what you mean by batteries; that other girl was inflatable and very flexible but not battery-powered.

And that wasn't the dog that licked you in the face. Thanks a lot. :-)

Anonymous said...

Your encounter with the elemental forces of nature has evidently enlivened your chi.

Cosmic Connie said...

Yes, HHH, my chi is jumping around so much I think it needs a Xanax. Alas, there are none to be found here...

Anonymous said...

I'll try again after I polish my wand.

Cosmic Connie said...