Tapping into a new money stream

The mega-hit infomercial The Secret has apparently started a trend in MLPs (movie-like products). Some declare this trend to be part of the new genre called Spiritual Cinema. But I call it Hustledork Cinema. There are, of course, certain fundamental differences between Hustledork Cinema and traditional cinema, the main one being that the end product is not a feature film with a plot and character development and all of that stuff, but a glorified infomercial – a moviemercial, if you will. (Some Hustledork Moviemercials (e.g., What The Bleep?!?) do attempt to incorporate a rudimentary "plot" with ham acting, but the main point is the selling of the hustledorks and the upselling of their products.) And it generally doesn’t play at traditional movie venues, but is a straight-to-DVD product that costs considerably more than a movie ticket, even at today’s inflated prices.

It’s really not all that difficult to make a Hustledork Moviemercial. You simply take an idea or principle or technique – any idea or principle or technique, as long as it has to do with miracles and wonders and, of course, wealth beyond reason. Oh, and it should be based on an ancient secret, but with modern proprietary enhancements. Next you interview a passel of New-Wage hustledorks who have fake impressive credentials and are willing to enthusiastically endorse your idea. You either pay them up front or give them a cut of the action, directly or indirectly, and they’ll say anything you want them to say. They will earnestly describe, for example, how your idea or principle or technique can heal virtually every type of physical illness and emotional disorder, and make a person rich beyond his or her wildest dreams, and bring about world peace, and usher in a new era for humanity. Or they’ll tell moving stories about how they were once fat, homeless losers until they discovered your idea or principle or technique, put it to work in their lives, and became buff millionaires with a huge house (or several houses) and a stable of fancy cars.

Never mind that these same folks may have told the very same story, in a previous moviemercial, about how someone else’s idea or principle or technique was responsible for their astonishing success. The viewing public has a short memory.

Once you have your interviews, you edit out the boring parts, and then you string the interviews together with some breathy, sexy, or assertively sincere voice-overs. Throw in assorted whiz-bang special effects, and add some stirring, mystical-sounding music. And voila! – you got yourself your very own Hustledork Moviemercial. Pop a trailer on YouRube, spread the word virally, and you have an instant hit on your hands. Well, maybe. Tell everyone it’s a hit, anyway. (Note: You should also throw together a book that is based on your moviemercial.)

So what’s the difference between a moviemercial and a regular infomercial that anyone can watch for free on TV late at night? If you have to ask, you’re obviously not very enlightened. But...okay, since you ask, I'll tell you: Moviemercials have an uplifting message that mainly benefits the hustledorks who make them serves the higher good of humanity. And they cost $30.00, $40.00 or more. Sometimes much more.

While you’re planning your own overnight-hit product, I invite you to take a look at yet another new Hustledork Moviemercial, Try It On Everything,* which was brought to my attention the other day. This one is all about tapping, which is part of a subtle energy practice called Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT. EFT, which was "discovered" by a guy named Gary Craig, is based upon an ancient Chinese tradition that Gary’s EFT site says is over 5,000 years old, but which the Try It On Everything trailer says is over 8,000 years old. The tradition in question is acupuncture, which in its present form is really only a little over 2,000 years old. But what are a few millennia here and there? In any case, EFT is sort of like acupuncture without needles. But don’t confuse it with acupressure, where you just press or squeeze the points in question. With EFT, you tap those points.

And tapping apparently works on everything, as the trailer indicates. Anyone with working fingers and a body can do it, and, if you’re to believe this trailer, just about everyone is doing it. There’s even some brief but not-to-be-missed footage of a few SNAGs (Sensitive New Age Guys) engaging in a "circle tap."

Try It On Everything features an impressive range of New-Wage hustledorks, several of whom were in The Secret. My pal Chris Locke of the Mystic Bourgeoisie blog describes them as "a real rogue’s gallery of dangerous fools." I wouldn’t go so far as to call most of them dangerous (although some of their followers are pretty suspect), but then again, I’m more of a Pollyanna than Chris is.

And apparently I’m more of a Pollyanna than some of my other buds are. Another pal, after viewing the trailer, wrote, "Holy f - - - - - g s - - t! Don't they put autistic kids in football helmets for doing things like this??? Man, this gives a new meaning when you call someone a ‘slapper.’"

After a little back-and-forth about this, another person who was in on the discussion wrote, "You folks need to quit making fun of things you know nothing about! I've been rubbing ... er... tapping it for well over 40 years now, and it still works like a charm! Well... most of the time, anyway. Maybe it would be better if I rubbed ... er ... tapped it several times a day, like I did as a teenager! :-)."

Obviously, these guys can’t wrap their minds around the exciting potential of tapping. Maybe they need to listen to Bob Proctor, one of the top science experts of our time. Scientist Bob says, "The electrical system in a person’s body would make the electrical system in a supercomputer look like an absolute toy." He goes on to talk about how cool it is that we can snap our fingers or clap our hands to turn our lights on, but, even more amazing, "you can do that with yourself!"

EFT is the bastard child of Thought Field Therapy (TFT), which was invented in 1981 by Gary Craig’s mentor, cognitive psychologist Dr. Roger Callahan. TFT and Dr. Callahan are still going strong; in fact, Dr. Callahan teaches TFT at all levels, including the most advanced level, Voice Technology Training, or VTT. Learning VTT will only set you back one-hundred grand, USD. But it will, according to Dr. Callahan, help decrease human suffering, so I'm sure it's worth every dollar. These days EFT is a whole thriving industry as well, as indicated on this web site and on the links that appear on its right-hand side. But Gary Craig remains the undisputed king of EFT. He has a few medical professionals in his corner, and legions of ordinary folks as well.

And here is something that’s really cool: EFT works on animals as well as people. You don’t even have to tap on the animal; you just tap on yourself. It works even if the animal is nowhere near you – even if it is halfway across the world. Here’s what the Little Big Cat site says:

Using EFT on animals is easy!

Contrary to what you might think, we don't actually tap on the animal. While animals do have meridians and points, the best way to do EFT for animals is by surrogate or proxy tapping. This means you tap on yourself to make the changes happen. This has significant advantages:

• You can tap any time, anywhere - you don't have to be near the animal.
• You can tap often more than an animal might tolerate.
• You can tap for wild animals, animals that don't belong to you, and animals that you may not otherwise be able to touch, such as birds and fish.

And here’s how you do EFT on an animal:

A. Focus Your Intention
Think about the animal and what specifically you would like to release, relax, soothe or change.

B. Make a Statement of Intent
Find a phrase or a sentence that describes the problem succinctly and clearly to you. You can say, "Sidney has this terrible allergy." or "Sam never stops barking." or, "This brown horse is distressed." if you don't know the animals' name. This is the main part of directing your attention to the problem.

C. The Set-Up
We surround the statement of intent with the words, "Even though (Sam) (is hyperactive), I deeply and profoundly love and accept (Sam)." It helps bring you closer to the animal for deeper changes and handles permission issues as well as having positive benefits for YOUR system.

D. The Full Opening Set-Up
Place your flat hand on your chest, either left or right, just above your heart. Wait until you can feel the warmth of your hand through your clothes, rub the hand round in a small circle, and say the opening statement which is the statement of intent inside the blessing: “Even though (insert name or description)(insert statement of problem), I deeply and profoundly love and accept (name or description)”...

But wait, there’s still more. Tapping is not just for emotional issues or physical illnesses in people and animals. You can tap your way to wealth too! Ask Joe Vitale, one of the stars of Try It On Everything and The Secret. On a recent blog post he wrote, "Sometimes you can do EFT on a belief and it will vanish like the wind." Naturally, he provided a link to more information about EFT, and it just happened to be a page describing one of his products, a "9-Point Quantum Tapping System." This is an EFT-related marketing scheme Joe is involved in with an enthusiastic young hustler named Brad Yates.

Apparently Brad is Joe’s secret weapon for manifesting cars, or at least Brad helped him manifest one of his BMWs. For quite some time now, Joe has had a web site promoting his own program on how to attract a new car. On that site, there’s a picture of Joe and his love Nerissa in front of one of Joe’s BMWs. The caption reads, "Joe and his brand-new 2005 BMW 645ci – a $90,000 luxury sports car he attracted!" The site goes on to describe Joe’s foolproof system for attracting a new car or a bundle of cash, and all of this wisdom can be yours for only $97.

But wait, there's more! That very same picture appears on Joe and Brad’s "9-Point Quantum Tapping System" site, and the caption reads, "Joe and his brand-new 2005 BMW 645ci – a $90,000 luxury sports car he attracted after a teleseminar with Brad Yates!"

Now, I realize you may have thought the Law Of Attraction, as taught in The Secret, was Joe’s secret weapon for successful car-attracting. Or maybe you thought it was Ho’oponopono (or "Ho Aponno Ponno," as the Try It On Everything web site would have it), which is the ancient Hawai’ian system for wealth, health, and everything else. But apparently that’s not the case. It seems that tapping, as taught by Brad Yates, was the real secret key.

Joe did admit on his original "Attract A New Car" site that he attracted his new BMW after going through a teleseminar (though on that site, he doesn’t mention Brad’s name). Actually, it seems that he really didn’t need the teleseminar, because he already had the car-attraction thing nailed, but never mind that little detail.

I had already used my system to attract 5 Saturns and my first BMW (a beautiful James Bond-ish Z3 sports car, which I still love).

But I also went through the teleseminar like everyone else and ended up attracting a brand new 2005 BMW 645Ci – a luxury sports car worth $90,000!!!

And on top of that, the car was made for me in Germany.

That’s right. I ordered the car to be built to my specifications.

You have to remember that I was the guy who was homeless at one point, who lived in virtual poverty for years. Today I’m ordering one of the greatest auto manufacturers in the history of the world to build a car for me – a car worth more than many people’s homes!!!

And how did Joe do this? He explains:

Basically, the answer is in correctly using the 5 step system introduced in my book The Attractor Factor – the very book that knocked Harry Potter off the #1 bestseller spot – twice -- in April, 2005.

When you correctly use the 5 steps, and ignore the voice of doubt in your head, you can create miracles.

I know it seems impossible to believe, but it’s true.

But it now appears that it wasn’t Attractor Factor principles after all, but a Brad Yates teleseminar, that led Joe to attract that $90,000.00 BMW. At least I think that’s what Joe and Brad are saying. I get confused by all of the different versions of these success stories. Anyway, Joe and Brad are now pushing their "Home Tapping System," based on EFT, and that will only set you back $49. It will allow you to tap away your negative beliefs about money, which will open the way to unlimited wealth, at least for Joe and Brad. Here’s how the magic works:

Most of us use a "Default Operating System." It's the system our parents gave us. And it's the one their parents gave them.

Unfortunately, it's a lie. A faulty system. A glitch in the matrix. One based on illusion, passed down from generation to generation.

What no one told you is that any disruptions that we experience in life are simply disruptions in the energy field. And once you create your "Abundance Operating System"... your energy field becomes 100% "optimized" for attracting money beyond belief! You literally "flip a switch" that tunes into a "wealth frequency"... that just can't be stopped!

Naturally, this all has to do with quantum physics (well, doesn’t everything?):

You see, Quantum Physics tells us that everything in the universe is really just "pockets" of energy that flash on and off. What's more, all of these little packets are mere potentials.

And money is no different. It only exists as a potential form of energy. And if your beliefs don't allow that potential to occur...

Well, it doesn't matter how many self-help or success programs you try, because...

As long as your energy system blocks the potential to attract wealth... you'll never actually create it!

And it only takes five minutes and forty-nine seconds of effort per day to unblock your energy system and open the way to all of that wealth. There’s even a money-back guarantee if the 9-point Quantum Tapping System doesn’t utterly erase all of your negative beliefs about money.

As you might expect, the skeptics have weighed in on the TFT / EFT issue, tying to rain on the parades of the hopeful, as they always do. For example, Skepdic says this about EFT inventor Gary Craig:

It apparently did not occur to Gary that maybe he had tapped into the placebo effect or the power of suggestion. He may even be using cold reading techniques without being aware of it. Why accept simple psychological explanations when a complex mystical one is available?

Of course, the gimmick wouldn't be complete if Gary didn't remind us that he knows about ancient wisdom…

And the fuddy-duddies at Skeptical Inquirer put in their two-cents’ worth too:

Despite extraordinary claims to the contrary, TFT is not supported by scientific evidence… Many of the practices of TFT proponents are much more consistent with pseudoscience than science. Controlled studies evaluating the efficacy of TFT will be required for the treatment to be taken seriously by the scientific community.

Even a social-work journal piped in:

"Rituals have always been used to provide us comfort, and these manualized, ritualistic things fill a very interesting need," says [Richard Gist, PhD, of the University of Missouri-Kansas City]. "Market them, package them with a little bit of scientism, and they seem quite remarkable, especially to the desperate and gullible. It’s nice to be able to learn things with no more than a weekend of color slides and hyperbole, especially when it doesn’t even require you to take a test. They claim that TFT also works with cats and dogs." Pausing to reflect, Gist adds, "We seem to have a lot more interest these days in the package and less interest in the content…"

Well, I say fooey to all those naysayers. I’m going to go do a little EFT on Rex The Farting Dog, the 135-pound Rottweiler-Doberman-Black Lab mix who lives with Ron and me. I’ve focused my intention, have made a statement of intent, and am now preparing to set up: "Even though Rex farts, I deeply and profoundly love and accept Rex."

But just in case the tapping doesn’t work, y’all can do some Ho’oponopono cleaning on this problem too, now that you know about it. And with Rex being such a large dog, it is a huge problem – a mighty wind, as it were – so get busy, okay? If it works, we can make a moviemercial about it.

PS - In case you're not getting really good results with Ho'oponopono, you might try looking into Boto'o'popopopo, the ancient Hawai'ian secret that was taught to me by the great teacher Dr. Ihavascama Fer Yew.
* PPS added autumn 2009: Try It On Everything is now called The Tapping Solution, but it's pretty much the same tap-tap-tap crap...I mean, material. If you don't feel like buying the movie right now but need some comic relief...I mean, some tapping wisdom... here is a link that will take you to still more tapping videos from Master Tapper Brad Yates. Or, if you just don't even feel like watching the videos but want to know what they're about, check out this link for Cosmic Connie's Capsule Summary (third item down, "Tapping and yapping"). You're welcome!