Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Saturday, January 10, 2009

A collection of uncollected thoughts

Today's offering, Dear Ones, is one of those "snippets" posts composed of several snarky bits, rather than being just one long snark about a single topic. Perhaps it is posts like this one that prompted a couple of folks on Rate A Blog to write that Whirled Musings is a senseless waste of time because it's just a collection of rambling, unrelated stuff. To wit:

viewed and rated said...

Here is another senseless Blog....

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/
whirled musings - Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie

Waste of time -
a collection of rambling unassociated postings that amount to no more than gobbly
[sic] gook on the net.

July 16, 2008

Although that comment was posted in July of 2008, I didn't discover it until December. I wrote a response on Rate A Blog, speculating that I had either stepped on someone's toes or that the person making the comment simply wasn't aware of, or interested in, the usual subject matter of my blog. I added that there is indeed a common thread among most of my posts, and that on those occasions when I veer off topic, I warn my readers in advance. I also Tweeted about the critical remark on Twitter, and provided a link to the thread on Rate A Blog on which it appeared.

This apparently inspired someone else to follow the link and post her or his own remark:

nyuk nyuk said...

I just visited ......

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/whirled musings
I can live without it.
An array of uncollected thoughts that assemble a hangover, ha ha ha
December 20, 2008

"An array of uncollected thoughts that assemble a hangover?" Now, that really makes sense.

Anyway, on to my "uncollected thoughts":

Calling on Dreaming-Bear
I've had some fun on this blog at the expense of a Maui poet and performance artist who calls himself Dreaming-Bear Kanaan. Recently Dreaming-Bear, or someone I believe to be D-B, wrote a rather lengthy private email to me explaining things from his point of view. He says I have misrepresented him on several counts. Although he seemed to imply that I should share his message on my blog, he didn't exactly say that. I immediately sent him an email in response, addressing some of the points he made and asking him if I could indeed publish his email on my blog.

I didn't receive a response, so after a couple of weeks I re-sent my request from another email address, in the event that his spam filter might have blocked out my Juno address. I still have not heard from him.

What do I have to do...send smoke signals?

Look, Dreaming-Bear, if you are reading this, please do know that I would love to publish your letter to me (minus the phone number you provided, of course), but I need your permission. Email me at cosmic.connie@juno.com and let me know.

I may be snarky, but I do try to be fair.

PS added in February 2009: I finally did hear back from from Dreaming-Bear, and now I'm the one who's being remiss about responding, as he has asked me to phone him so we could talk. I have yet to do that, partly because of time constraints and partly because I am so not a "phone person," preferring in-person communication and, lacking that, email and Twitter. However, I did want to add this capsule version of his messages, as he still didn't exactly grant permission for me to publish them verbatim. In fact he said he wished to be removed altogether from my blog, and has hinted more than once about karmic consequences.

In essence, Dreaming-Bear feels it is unfair of me to publish some of this stuff, especially the gossipy bits from people who claimed to have known him. (Since these commenters are anonymous, neither he nor I can verify whether or not they do know him.) D-B says that many of the things I wrote about, or that others commented about, are part of his past, adding that we all have things in our past that we may not necessarily be proud of. He says he has been in a committed relationship for over a year with a lady whom he loves very much. And he adds that he wishes that the people who don't like him could either forgive him or just stop ragging on him. (Keep in mind I'm paraphrasing here, just trying to capture the essence of what he said.)

He points out that there is nothing wrong with being an actor/performance artist, which is all that he is really claiming to be. He says he has never held himself up as a perfect being, a guru, or a spiritual leader. Now, my own take on this is that a hint of the risque would actually enhance his image as a performance artist. It worked for the late Jim Morrison and countless others. However, D-B also indicated that he is trying to get away from some of that over-the-top nekkid stuff and these days is concentrating more on being a bearer of peace and tenderness.

He also expressed puzzlement about why I would go after him when he's not the fish I want to fry. I have to concede that when compared to the likes of Kevin Trudeau or David Schirmer and any of dozens of New-Wage hustledorks, Dreaming-Bear is relatively benign. He's been an easy target for me because of his mystical-poet/performance shtick.

Most importantly (from an accuracy standpoint), Dreaming-Bear says he was not faking the wheelchair stint. He explained that he was in a bad car accident years ago and has had several surgeries to repair resulting damage. He says he has been in and out of the hospital for ten years and is legally disabled.

Some say I'm going out of my way to be "fair and balanced," which really doesn't fit into my job description as a snarky blogger. But I have never held much to job descriptions (and besides, we all remember what Emerson said about "a foolish consistency").

In any case, at the very least this is about getting facts right. And where I have been factually wrong I certainly want to correct that. As for the anonymous critics and snarkers, they are welcome to come forth with their true identities on this forum, or to communicate with Dreaming-Bear directly. I am not removing their comments, even as I am not removing the comments of the equally anonymous defenders of D-B, who speculated that I snark because I am full of rage and self-hatred.

And I stand by my own snarky opinions about Dreaming-Bear's public persona and performances, as those, I believe, fall under the umbrella of opinion – arts criticism, if you will.

As always, I welcome opinions and feedback from all.

"I paid five grand to ride in a Rolls, and all I got was this dumb blog."

Some of my friends and allies, I fear, are just a little bit too cynical for their own good. My pal Elizabeth, for example, recently commented about Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale's ongoing series of Rolls-Royce Phantom MasterMind sessions, for which he charges participants $5,000.00 a head. In a comment on one of my recent posts, she wrote, "$5,000 for [riding in that] Rolls? Even the Spitzer hooker did not charge so much."

And yet the success stories about the Phantom riders are pouring in, and they're pretty darned convincing, if you ask me. For example, there is Barry Thomas Bechta, a dedicated Joebot with a mega-watt smile and, apparently, a heart full of hope. Judging by the pics on his web site, he seems to be living his dream of donning a very shiny blue jacket (his lucky jacket, I'm guessing) and having his picture taken with various New-Wage gurus.

So what did Barry get from his recent Phantom ride? What remarkable successes has he realized since that magical evening in Austin? Well, for one thing, it would appear that he is now able to deal masterfully with the disappointment and frustration of not being able to afford to do the stuff he really wants to do. Here's what he wrote in a recent blog post about "Seeing and Being Abundance":

Let’s say, I wanted to go to [Joe Vitale's] Attract Wealth Seminar being held in Austin this weekend (I did).

Let’s say, I did not have the cash flow to attend Attract Wealth Seminar (I did not See Abundance).

Let’s say, I want to Be Abundance in the absence of Attract Wealth Seminar (I do).

Let’s say, I want to increase my ability to See Abundance Be Abundance See Abundance (I do).

Then I can use, Attract Wealth Seminar or any other sign of Abundance to enhance my ability to See Abundance Be Abundance See Abundance.

Many would say that kind of thinking is only wishful thinking.

I ask you to hear me out.

In my past, I would have said something like, “woe is me” because I could not go to Attract Wealth Seminar. In my past, I would have cushioned the blow of my “inability to afford” by saying something like, “The seminar probably isn’t going to be that good really.” In my past, I would have been upset and disappointed.

Zero Limits and Ho’oponopono says that every experience brings up for a person either memory or Miracles.

In my past, I would come from memory, and say “woe is me” and would have been upset and disappointed.

In this present moment, the only moment we ever have access to, when I am able to act without memory, I am able to act from Inspiration and Miracles come forth.

Then the Pure Potential Energy of Life knows what is possible for me.

My ability to talk about Abundance being present (and more importantly feeling that Abundance is Present Right Now) even in the face of apparent lack of Abundance, sets me up to see more Abundance in everything...

...From a place of Abundance Awareness, I can See Abundance where few others would See it or Be it.

And now let's look at the official CCT (Cosmic Connie Translation) of the above:

I wanted to go to Joe's Attract Wealth seminar in Austin, even though I'd just recently gone on the Rolls-Royce Phantom Ride with Joe. But even though the fee for the Attract Wealth Seminar was less than $800.00, I didn't have enough money to go, mainly because I'd blown five grand, plus travel and accommodation expenses, to get taken on that Phantom Ride. You'd think that Joe could have at least given me a scholarship and paid for my travel expenses so I could shill for him at the seminar and maybe get more people to sign up for future Phantom Rides. But noooooo.

But I'm okay with that, really I am! I don't feel at all upset and disappointed. After all, I did get taken for a ride! By Joe! In a Rolls!

And so we can be comforted in knowing that no matter how non-abundant Barry's life appears to be, now or in the future, he'll always have Austin.

Another Phantom success story is Wendy G. Young, whom Joe recently Tweeted about on Twitter:

Phantom Rider Wendy Young launched her blog due to the Rolls-Royce Mastermind she attended. http://www.wendygyoung.com

I eagerly jumped to Wendy's blog to check it out. I had actually visited her blog before, and had even written a comment to it back in November. That was in response to a post she'd written in September during Hurricane Ike. At the time she wrote the Ike post, her electricity was still on, and she intended to keep it on via her own powerful intentions. Ike wasn't going to get the better of her, nosiree. I politely wrote to her and asked her if focusing on keeping her power on had worked, but she has yet to answer. I have to say I am pretty disappointed.

Now I have a feeling she won't be answering me at all, as she's probably far too busy with her new and improved blog, as well as planning workshops where she will be teaching a brand new technology, which apparently centers around a Manifestation Grid she created to help you manifest your heart's desire. I am sure it's all very scientifical.

Her new blog has her pretty excited:

So just this past week I launched my new blog..I call it a soft launch! So once I feel like I really know what I am doing I will do the real launch. But really it is all real. Maybe I called it the soft launch because I was not fully committed to my new project.

Actually if I am being really truthful…this is all about my new life! My new business. The new me. New friends. New experiences. Maybe I will even attract a new boyfriend in the process!

Wow. All this from just one rolling MasterMind session. It looks like that was five grand well spent, Wendy! Indeed, she seems utterly thrilled about her new projects and her new self.

In truth, however, she was no slouch in her pre-Phantom Rider days, if this link is any indication. She created an audio series called, "Where Does Money Come From?" The series contains secrets to wealth creation from an impressive array of experts. For instance, there's Brad Yates, Master Tapper, who is really into...well...tapping. (I know it's too late for the holiday season just past, but you might want to bookmark Brad's Christmas tapping video and use it to help you get through next Christmas. Do yourself a favor and follow the Xmas tap link now. I guarantee it will cheer you up.) Also in Wendy's line-up is a Benny-Hillish-looking chap named Dr. Stephen Bacque, aka "The Homeless Millionaire." Dr. Bacque is obviously breaking new ground in the New-Wage industry, as most New-Wage hucksters are formerly homeless millionaires. Perhaps most noteworthy in Wendy's lineup is yet another Scientist Bob, noted quantum physics expert and Secret star Bob Doyle. Follow that link and be prepared to be positively blinded with science.

But all of that is nothing, I'm sure, compared to what Wendy is now planning.

Yet some of my friends continue to be doubters. When I sent an email about Wendy's new site to a friend of mine, he responded, "Wait a minute... So this broad spills five G’s for a spin in a taxi…and the ONLY idea she got was to ... let me get this straight ... her BIG idea was to LAUNCH A FRIGGIN’ BLOG?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF! THAT'S the big idea!?! A blog! These people are insane!"

But then my pal apparently reconsidered, and he wrote to me again a little later:

My last email got me wondering. If *I* were to take a ride in the JV Taxi, what awesome ideas would *I* get? Let me dream a little. Perhaps...

... I would decide to live my life-long dream of becoming a rodeo clown.

... JV's wisdom would impel me to reach for the stars and get a paper route!

... Or I could possibly start a stamp collection! (Yes! you heard that right. A STAMP collection. Do I dare?)

... I've been too scared to dare this on my own, but maybe with JV's help, I could be coached into buying a FAX machine. (I really need help with this one, it scares me so.)

My mind reels with the possibilities! I'm dizzy here…

My friend’s inspiration was downright contagious, and this in turn inspired me to get busy fine-tuning the program I mentioned at the very end of a post I wrote last October. As it happens, Ron and I are getting ready to launch a series of rolling MasterMind sessions of our own. This is truly the opportunity of a lifetime for you; for a mere ten grand in US dollars, you get to ride around in our Honda Odyssey mini-van with us and bask in the presence of our scintillating personalities. Why ten grand instead of merely five? you ask. Well, it's because there are two of us MasterMinders. That's twice the value!

What will you get from the experience? That is totally up to you. We create each Mini-Van MasterMind experience as we go, so you never know what will happen!

Who knows, we may even have a surprise guest or two, such as my friend the future rodeo clown, who may share some documents that he faxed with his new fax machine. We might bring a couple of our dogs too, and in the future, if things go as planned, we might even bring a minature donkey foal along. (You – yes, you! – will get to clean up the donkey poop, and we won't charge you extra for doing so.) Of course, dinner is included with the ride; you can even super-size your order. If you're interested, send me an email. Or better yet, just send me the ten thousand dollars and continue to enjoy my scintillating personality via this blog, and Ron's scintillating personality via his blog and his participation on Steve Salerno's blog, from the comfort of your own home. You don't need those large fries anyway. And if the Universe guides you to do so, feel free to send more than ten thousand dollars.

Dream big!

Neale and pray for forgiveness
By now you've probably heard the story about how Neale Donald Walsch, who has made his fortune by convincing people that he and God have a very special friendship,
got himself into a spot of trouble recently for plagiarizing a heartwarming Christmas story. Neale has apologized profusely, saying the plagiarism was accidental. Candy Chand, the author of the plagiarized story, isn't buying his explanation.

Will Candy sue? That remains to be seen, but I wouldn't be suprised. "Well," wrote my pal Chris Locke of the Mystic Bourgeoisie blog, "at least God is unlikely to sue." But Chris is wrong about that, as I explained at the end of a September 2006 blog post:

In late August, God sued Walsch on several counts, including invasion of privacy, unauthorized publication of private conversations, and numerous inaccuracies (particularly in the volumes, Marriage To God and Temporary Separation From God). God is asking for an unspecified amount in damages, as well as generous royalties from all [Conversations With God] books and auxiliary products, and 50% of the profits from the film. Since logistical difficulties prevent God from managing funds in the physical realm, She/He/It has stipulated that damages and royalties are to be paid directly to the Cosmic Connie Foundation, care of this blog.

The case is scheduled to be heard before the Supreme Being Court next summer. Meanwhile, the Cosmic Connie Foundation is still waiting to receive those royalties from Neale. And I must say that God is getting very impatient.

Shift work takes on a whole new meaning
Despite all of the earnest efforts by the New-Wage leaders who truly have our best interests at heart, and are therefore urging us to ignore the mainstream media with all of its bad news, there really is a little bit of an economic crisis in the US of A and even in other parts of the world.

You don't believe me? Well, consider this: The Onion, that impeachable source of all the news that no one else will print, recently reported that many Americans are having to work a fourth shift in a perpendicular dimension in order to make ends meet.

Look, we always knew this day would come. It's time to stop living in denial, especially since we're all going to be shifting into the fourth dimension (or higher) anyway within the next few years. And who knows what 2012 will bring!

Here's the grim story.

"Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage..."
I know the previous piece was a little disturbing, Dear Ones, so I will end this post on an up note.

As you probably know about me by now, I am never afraid to admit when I am wrong. And I have been oh, so wrong about The Secret. My basic premise from the beginning was that although The Secret was very profitable for its creators and the wise teachers who starred in it, it was not all that effective as a tool for changing one's life.

But I have just read a deeply touching story about how one man's life was changed for the better by The Secret. You may very well have seen this story, as it now seems to be making the rounds on Twitter and elsewhere on the Net. But just in case you have not, I'll share it with you. This is the tale of a man who was a prisoner, not only of the criminal justice system but also of his own deep despair. The Secret saved him. And he in turn went on to inspire many, many people by sharing his story.

Here is the link. (And just in case Amazon gets wise to it and takes it down at some point, I have preserved the original comment (though not the ensuing discussion) as a jpeg; double-click on the image and you'll be able to read it.)

Well, that's it for now. Enjoy what's left of the weekend, and I'll be back soon with more unrelated, uncollected thoughts that assemble like a hangover. Or something like that.

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47 Comments:

Anonymous mojo said...

Dang! My Favorite Younger Sister sent me that very same Secret review link yesterday morning. She titled her email "The Secret WORKS!!" I was gonna blog about it on Monday and offer my apologies to the internet community for being so very, very wrong about The Secret. Since obviously it would only take one singular testimonial that speaks directly to my heart to get me to see the light and set me straight.

That's what comes of being in the loop and paying attention to other people, instead of laying about the house in your bathrobe until noonish every day. You beat Mojo to the punch yet again. I think you just WANTED it more, Connie. Yeah, that's the ticket.

On another matter altogether, my Favorite Older Sister (who I have gotten to read this blog regularly, although she is too shy to comment) is often sent to Houston by her heartless corporate masters on bidness. She reports that the traffic in Houston is just TERRIBLE. I told her for her Christmas present instead of just spending money on her I'd get you to take care of it. Thanks! :)

Sunday, January 11, 2009 6:43:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Well, Mojo, you can still blog about it. I have a feeling this thing is really making the Net rounds now; for what reason I can only guess, since apparently it has been on Amazon since December of 2007. If you really want to be amused, follow the link I provided in my post, and go to the actual permalink on Amazon where the review appears. Read the other people's comments. And then click on the guy's name and read some of his other "reviews." I think we have a real comic talent in our midst.

Your Favorite Older Sister has my sympathies about the Houston traffic. Don't get me wrong; I love many things about Houston, but the traffic is not one of those things. Although my Favorite Spousal Equivalent (that would be Ron, aka Rev Ron) and I now live on the Edge of Nowhere, which is about fifty miles away from Houston, we do go into the city fairly frequently for business appointments, shopping, or to visit friends and family. Ron does the driving, and I always see him get progressively more uptight and stressed-looking as we approach the city.

And then when we get back to The Ranch, his shoulders loosen, the smile returns to his face, and all is right again.

So even though the Houston traffic is no longer a daily concern for us, tell ya what I'm gonna do. Since you are my friend, and any Favorite Older Sister of yours is a Favorite Older Sister of mine, I will be glad to use my mighty mind to remotely work on that traffic problem for her. She doesn't have to thank me; just knowing that I am doing some good for good people is thanks enough for me.

Sunday, January 11, 2009 2:39:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Addendum to my response to Mojo, above: Google "Ari Brouillette" and you'll see scads of links, mostly to comments about Ari's now-famous "Secret" review. Ari has, I think, become an overNet sensation.

Sunday, January 11, 2009 2:47:00 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Nice hangover you've assembled here, Connie. Very Excedrin-worthy. :)

But, moi, cynical? I'd never!

On the contrary, in my Spitzer hooker comment I expressed my deep appreciation for Joe "Dr.Zero" Vitale's business acumen. 'Cuz it is a mightily glorified taxi that the man has there. And now I hear you do too! Good for you (and Ron). I'll dip into Junior's college account and, who knows, in two or three years I may be able to afford a ride in your Mystic Honda, so appropriately called Odyssey.

Now to think of it, that would be a great name for your new Mystic Taxi enterprise -- Odyssey. As in, an eventful journey home, filled with Profound and Life-Changing Experiences (quick, trademark this name and phrase before I do!)

But I do expect 15% of your profits now, just so you know. Either that, or you can have me ride with ya in your van -- and then we can charge 15 thou for the three Incredibly Fabulous and Spiritually Advanced Guides in Your Personal Odyssey (TM). (I can even bring my own fries.)

And, just so you know, you've inspired me too to start my own business, what the heck. It'll be Eliz Dancing-Teeth (TM) Spiritual Adventures (TM), which will include teeth reading (ala tea leaves reading); however, not in a way that Mojo suggested* yesterday, with dentists and floss, but with much more spiritually advanced (and profound) techniques such as Inspired Channeling (via mercury fillings, of course), Sacred Teeth Chattering (an ancient healing method practiced in the Ice Age Eastern Europe), and Mystical Teeth Clenching (which is known to strengthen and fortify your personal aura or something).

I'm actually offering these services as we (OK, I) speak, so if you hurry and sign up now, I'll give you my low introductory rate of only $450.00 per therapeutic hour (= 30 minutes).

All right, gotta go and work on creating more Mystical Healing Methods (TM).

Yours truly,
Eliz Dancing-Teeth (TM).

*Mojo, you're absolutely right that thems dentists, flosses and other burdens of dental hygiene would only dampen My Spirit, so I'ma rightly reject them. Thanks for reminding, btw!

Sunday, January 11, 2009 3:35:00 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Oh, and to show that I'm not discriminating and able to learn from All Sources of Wisdom, I've gone to Mabel Katz's website and found this helpful nugget (from a larger piece where she discusses her super-duper book, appropriately titled "The Easiest Way" http://hooponoponoisbeyondthesecret.com/):

When you are feeling good, you attract good things. When you are feeling bad, you attract bad things. I have found that sometimes I may be feeling fine, and still don’t know why I am not attracting the good things in my life. I believe this might be caused either by the million unconscious thoughts running in my head or the fact that I am asking for something that I consider “good” but that is truly not correct for me.

Yep, that's it! Brilliant, dontcha think? ;) I can see why Hopornoporno is soooo far beyond The Secret.

Sunday, January 11, 2009 3:42:00 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

P.S. Just so there is no misunderstanding: I'm not cynical or uptight or anything; I'm all for
Ho!Pornoporno, but in the privacy of my own home, is all.

Sunday, January 11, 2009 3:52:00 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

P.S.2. Gobbly Gook? I know that guy! He lives across the street from me and likes to keep his blinds (in his windows) up in the evening. A very unfortunate habit, if you ask me.

Sunday, January 11, 2009 3:54:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can ride in my wheelbarrow for £50.

Sunday, January 11, 2009 5:16:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon 5:16 PM, sign me up. (Is that you, HHH?)

Sunday, January 11, 2009 5:31:00 PM  
Anonymous HhH said...

No, it's you, we are all one, remember?

Monday, January 12, 2009 3:57:00 AM  
Anonymous hhH said...

What about you, Elizabeth, fancy a spin in my wheelbarrow?
I'll even put some newspapers in the bottom to stop your arse getting muddy.

Monday, January 12, 2009 4:00:00 AM  
Anonymous mojo said...

Naw, too many people are blogging about it now. Takes all the fun out of it.

And yes, I did enjoy his other reviews, including the one for the two-gallon pail. It reminded me of something my Favorite Younger Sister sent me a few years back, when Amazon first started carrying groceries. Some store put out actual MILK for sale, and people started reviewing it.

http://tinyurl.com/3y8ga7

I haven't gone through all the more recent ones, but when I blogged about it back in 2006 I did indeed read all of the reviews--a few hundred then, I think--and they were hysterical. Now it's up over 1000 reviews, and counting...

Monday, January 12, 2009 4:54:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HhH said...

"No, it's you, we are all one, remember?"

Oh, yeah, that's right. Total responsibility and all that. I created you *and* your wheelbarrow.

So I get a cut of the £50 fee. Or all of it.

Monday, January 12, 2009 10:38:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

LOL, Mojo; those reviewers really milked that for all it was worth, didn't they? I think I'm going to have to Tweet about that on Twitter.

Monday, January 12, 2009 10:39:00 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Only if you pay me, HHH. :) ('Cuz that how it works with us, Enlightened Beings.)

Monday, January 12, 2009 10:42:00 AM  
Anonymous HhH said...

"Oh, yeah, that's right. Total responsibility and all that. I created you *and* your wheelbarrow."

Indeed you did, and do. You create your writing with your hand and you create me with bits of your brain. You even create bits of your brain with bits of your brain.

'So I get a cut of the £50 fee. Or all of it.'

You have never not had it.

'Only if you pay me, HHH.'

Well, if I take the £50 which has never left Connie, I can lend it to you to pay me, and it will still be yours, so I will have paid you as you are giving it to me, and will now have £100. And I will have shoulder strain heaving your big ass round the turnip patch.

Monday, January 12, 2009 11:48:00 AM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Connie, is HHH always so charming? ;)

Monday, January 12, 2009 3:40:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Eliz, I am sure HHH didn't literally mean it about the big arse and all that. HHH, if you want to be in on this scam, you have to be nice -- well, at least to your fellow scammers.

Monday, January 12, 2009 4:47:00 PM  
Anonymous hhh said...

Was that crass? You'll let me know, won't you?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009 4:26:00 PM  
Anonymous hHh said...

Beginning of encryption.

Anyway Connie, it's good to see that you like to sink your teeth into some MEATY, how you say....scuttlebutt? Even if snarking at some of your subjects makes them want to throw a WOBBLER now and then.
Mind you, the way things are looking, even Vitale may end up giving rides in a PICKUP, and eating JELLO instead of caviar.
DB is looking good in his Native American kit- I say Native American because I am not sure that Indian is politically correct anymore and I don't want to start any FIGHTING. He looks like he's been out hunting BISON, and living under a teepee made from a TARP.

Don't you think?

End of encryption.

Thursday, January 15, 2009 10:59:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is about time that the authorities started taking action against these people. No other job will permit people to offer such hideously intangible highs for such ridiculously inflated prices without creating havoc. The only thing that comes close to this personal development ride my life crap is drugs and that IS heavily regulated. What in the world are we coming to?

Thursday, January 15, 2009 4:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The authorities?

Your chief authority claims divine guidance doesn't he?

Law makers and enforcers LOVE cuckoo religious bogus mumbo jumbo.

Thursday, January 15, 2009 8:20:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

"What in the world are we coming to?"

The fleecing at the end of the universe. Just be sure to carry a towel. And plenty of personal lubricant. Most important of all...

DON'T PANIC!

Friday, January 16, 2009 8:39:00 AM  
Anonymous hHH said...

'I am sure HHH didn't literally mean it about the big arse'

Oh my god look at that typo!
I meant to type 'photogenic charismatic beauty' and it came out as 'big arse'.
I'm so ashamed

(sly look, says to self-'that's the sort of thing normal people say, i'm sure I've heard them say things like that')

Friday, January 16, 2009 12:51:00 PM  
Blogger Elizabeth said...

Alright, 3H, you've saved your... hide this time, but just barely. ;)
Let it not happen again, okay?

Now back to our scheming...

Friday, January 16, 2009 6:22:00 PM  
Anonymous hhH said...

'Our' scheming?

Saturday, January 17, 2009 2:30:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, everyone: I didn't mean to abandon this scintillating discussion, but I had some matters of consequence that were keeping me occupied over the past few days. Anyway, I'm glad to see that HHH has redeemed himself in Eliz's eyes. And yes, HHH, "our" scheming is correct. You're in on our rolling MasterMind scam too, aren't you?

Sunday, January 18, 2009 5:30:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

RevRon's Rants said...

"'What in the world are we coming to?'

"The fleecing at the end of the universe. Just be sure to carry a towel. And plenty of personal lubricant. Most important of all...

"DON'T PANIC!"

I couldn't have said it better if I'd been Doug Adams himself.

Sunday, January 18, 2009 5:32:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anonymous 4:13 PM said...

"It is about time that the authorities started taking action against these people. No other job will permit people to offer such hideously intangible highs for such ridiculously inflated prices without creating havoc. The only thing that comes close to this personal development ride my life crap is drugs and that IS heavily regulated..."

Anon, I've often said that I don't believe that imposing more rules and regulations on the selfish-help industry is the solution to the problem. However, when people commit fraud they should have to pay the consequences. I don't think they should be given a slap on the wrist and then allowed to go on scamming people, as has been the case with Kevin Trudeau.

Trudeau has had more than his share of run-ins with the authorities and has even done prison time for fraud. Yet he continues to bounce back again and again, with one scam after another. As I noted in my blog post, Joe V quoted Kevin as saying, "I will always win." So far he's been right about that. He apparently has enough money to buy his way out of every problem. If the government restricts him from scamming consumers by one method (say, via infomercials), he just finds other ways to do it.

It's really pretty frustrating.

Sunday, January 18, 2009 5:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Hhh said...

Talking of scams, today your man Obama puts his hand on a bible and pulls the religion scam- you lucky people!

How long before he fails to live up to the 'thou shalt not kill' bit?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 9:56:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Ah, HHH, that's a whole 'nother can of worms. Being the agnostic that I am, I'm of two minds about the whole "religion scam" thing. Even though the US was open-minded enough to finally elect a black man (who is actually half-white, but *looks* black), we're still not open-minded enough to elect a non-Christian, or...gasp!...a non-believer. And that fact sometimes annoys me. It doesn't make me angry, it doesn't keep me awake at night, it doesn't prompt me to want to join some movement to remove religion from public life, but it does sometimes annoy me.

I was also more than a bit disappointed in Obama's choice of Rick Warren to do the invocation at the inauguration. While I appreciate the symbolic "reaching out" gesture, I have no admiration for Warren's brand of New-Wage Christianity.

However, I remain sympathetic (certainly more so than, say, Christopher Hibbert) to those who seek comfort, assurance, and meaning through spirituality and religion. Yes, I know I'm a hopeless snark when it comes to New-Wage spirituality, and for the most part I don't think much of traditional organized religion either -- but I also recognize that theism is woven in so many ways into the fabric of our public life. Why is this? It's because collectively we still seem to need it.

As for the apparent hypocrisy between belief in the Ten Commandments and the desire to wage war, believers will always find some Biblical justification for their actions. Moreover, as I think we're already beginning to see, Obama isn't throwing out every remnant of the Bush legacy. For example, he has vowed to continue the war on terror, whatever that means. In his inaugural speech he did, however, convey what I thought was a poignant message to potential terrorists (and I'm paraphrasing): Your people will judge you by what you can build, not by what you can destroy.

Of course, this was framed in a firm vow to defeat said terrorists if they continued their aggression against the US.

So... yeah...the religion scam. For the most part it's something I can live with. But I do think we need to be careful not to let religious dogma intrude too much into public life (which is why I *do* get P.O.'d at the Christian Right). That separation of Church and State concept is a pretty good one overall.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 12:16:00 PM  
Anonymous HhH said...

'remove religion from public life'

Oooooooh! say those words again, they make me feel so OOOOOO!

Something I can never quite figure out- do the shepherds actually believe in what they tell the sheep?
Some of them almost seem to, but really most if them don't seem to care either way, just as long as they get to be top dog in whatever sect.
Then there are those who are pragmatic, and knowing there is not much you can do with a brainwashed herd, realise they have to speak in the language that people understand in order to stop them stampeding and screwing things up. That's the most benefit of the doubt I can give them.

Separation of church and state- you should go for a time travel holiday in the U.K....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lord_Spiritual

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 3:42:00 PM  
Anonymous HHh said...

Heh, just had a minor revelation.
I was under, until 45 secs. ago, that secular states were a rarity in the world.

Then I looked at this map....
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:State_Religions.svg

Ho boy, what has the U.K. got in common with Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Vatican?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 3:49:00 PM  
Anonymous hhH said...

What remains to be seen is wether the whole map will be one colour in 50 years time with the new one world religion.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 3:51:00 PM  
Anonymous hhh said...

'I was under, until 45 secs. ago, that secular states were a rarity in the world.'

meant 'under the impression'

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 3:54:00 PM  
Anonymous HHh said...

Rick Warren eh?
So I had a look at his site.

......Whooaaaa.......

That's some heavy duty, mind numbing, neuron strangling, creepy, patronising, vicious, maniacal psychological warfare.

So that's that, Obama either has no real power, or he actually WANTS you to buckle under the weight of mental torture.

Not very nice of him. Lets hope he is just being pragmatic, and forget about politicians being a source of real wisdom and leadership.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 4:21:00 PM  
Anonymous hHH said...

So, is there really a separation of church and state in U.S., given that you cannot have a presidential inauguration without dedicating it to the Christian god and his unfortunate son.?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009 4:33:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Good questions all, HHH, particularly your question about the reality of separation between church and state in the US.

At least Obama, in his inaugural speech, did give a passing nod to nonbelievers, a fact that magician and skeptic Penn Jillette noted on Twitter yesterday. Ron, however, noticed that no mention was made of Buddhists. Pagans and animists were given short shrift too, for that matter. And Obama failed to mention the one religion that unites all 'Mercans: Consumerism.

By the way, I mis-wrote in my comment when I mentioned Christopher Hibbert. I meant Christopher Hitchens. Hibbert is the historian, who just passed away this past December. I have several of his books. Hitchens, of course, is the best-selling author of "God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything." This is not the first time I have made that mistake in writing. I need to be more careful. [Memo to self: "Hitchens" almost rhymes with "bitchin'" and Hitchens is always bitchin' about religion.]

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 11:18:00 AM  
Anonymous HHh said...

You are so nice to reply to my inarticulate gruntings.

I too noticed the passing nod to nonbelievers, and the lack of mention of buddhists. 'Thanks for tacking me on the end there, big shot', is what I thought.
Then I thought, wait a minute, this guy isn't the chief administrator of my tax extortion gang (government), so why am I feeling irked?
I suppose the reason is because Obama is the new saviour for you, me, the world and all of god's children crying out in their need.
God if only I could have voted, I'd have walked in a starry eyed trance to the polling station mumbling 'Obama, Obama, Obama' half under my breath and helped him get his hand on that old bible myself.

When reverend what's-his-name was delighting us all with our guilt and neediness and his prayers to thin air, why did Obama not interrupt and let him know that, really, recent scholarship shows that we are not born in sin, virgin births are 25 years of genetic engineering down the line, and show some integrity.

I got the impression, however, that the ceremony was both exoteric and esoteric at the same time, or maybe that's just me.

OK, now you've got a black pres. with an Arabic middle name.
Next barrier- athiest pres.
Now that's really going to take some doing.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 1:36:00 PM  
Anonymous HhH said...

And another thing, what's with the grey suit obsession?

Who wrote that law- that el presidente has to be scared to wear what he wants when he wants?
Is wearing a denim jacket a vote loser? A vote loser to who, grey suit fetishists? Is he scared that Angela, Gordon and Vladimir are going to snigger behind his back if he goes round in a self designed block print hoodie?
Yeah, let's all vote for people who are scared to wear t-shirts. Yeah, they are clearly creative original thinkers.
Not.
Grey suits are just about the most unimpressive pieces of attire anyone can wear. I want my leaders to at least be wearing flowing golden silk robes and a diamond encrusted cod-piece, especially when they are pushing god at us.
What about that Connie?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 3:55:00 PM  
Anonymous hHh said...

And another thing, Obama is going to offer an amnesty for everyone caught up in the penal system for smoking a bit of weed, after admitting it was his own hobby, right?
Not that it's anything I would do, of course, and I wouldn't encourage anyone to break the law, but fair is fair is it not?
Why has he not been arrested and pressured to squeek on his dealer like anyone else?
Set them free or hand yourself in, Obama, that's what I say, is it one rule for you and another for everyone else?
Change? Humph!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009 4:02:00 PM  
Anonymous HHh said...

So, anyone get any good jokes?

Thursday, January 22, 2009 4:59:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

No jokes on this end at the moment. I'm sorry this is such a one-sided conversation right now, HHH, but I am up to my ears in work. (Wish I were up to my ears in money!) Anyway, carry on and I'll be back asap.

Thursday, January 22, 2009 8:39:00 PM  
Anonymous hHH said...

The oil is running out, invest in bicycles.

Friday, January 23, 2009 3:02:00 AM  
Anonymous hhH said...

Invest in wheelbarrows.

Friday, January 23, 2009 2:12:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

"Ron, however, noticed that no mention was made of Buddhists."

I didn't, however, find myself inspired to take "issue" with the omission. I think that with the convoluted mess the new president has inherited, there's little to be gained from petty sniping because he didn't call out "my guys'" names. I give a rat's ass what a president's beliefs are. If his heart's in the right place and his head's not up his ass, it doesn't mater what kind of "ist" he or she is. Too many "ists" claiming possession of the one and only "truth," anyway.

I also get a chuckle out of the smug condescension directed at "believers." Especially the references to believers as "sheep." Reminds me of the conversations you'll typically hear in a biker bar or at Sturgis or any of the other motorcycle rallies where all the "true bikers" (read: Harley Riders) gather 'round, bedecked in their near-identical costumes, and loudly declaring their individuality, too good to be associated with those posers who don't ride their brand. I guess they think themselves purISTS.

Monday, January 26, 2009 6:03:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Agreed, Ron. Purists (or those who fancy themselves to be purists) get pretty tiresome after a while, whether they're believers or nonbelievers.

But I'm offended that Barack didn't mention us agnostics. :-)

Monday, January 26, 2009 10:09:00 AM  

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