Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Another hustledork moviemercial comin' your way

Just in case you haven't yet had your fill of New-Wage moviemercials, you will be thrilled to know that there are more on the horizon. For example, there is Awakeners, which promises to be yet another hustledork showcase, thinly disguised as an exercise in "conscious filmmaking." Expected release date is some time in early 2009.

Not to be confused with Sheri S. Tepper's fantasy/sci-fi series, The Awakeners, this Awakeners, it appears, will have a corny story line, a la What The Bleep. The tale revolves around a woman going through an awakening process and checking into some "spiritual halfway house" where she and other evolved-beings-in-progress can really start evolving. A site I found 'splains it:

Together, they are assisted by 'the other side' in awakening their latent powers. To some, they appear to be lunatics, and to others, wise sages. But through their journeys, they all discover their awakened purpose in assisting humanity through the emerging paradigm shift.

I imagine the filmmakers will find ways to work various talking heads into the plot line. This promises to be really good, particularly if the hustledorks are actually given character roles instead of just talking-head parts. I can't wait.

And there's great news for you marketers who were looking for a handy name for the burgeoning demographic that includes many hustledork-movie fans. They are officially called the "lifestyle of health and sustainability," or "LOHAS" market. (This is not to be confused with the "lifestyle of hedonism and nitwittery," or "LOHAN" market.) LOHAS was mentioned in this blurb about the executive producer of The Awakeners:

Audra Kelly, Awakeners executive producer, exudes a profound and rare commitment to the success of Awakeners in local, national, and international markets. She believes that much is at stake in divisive media and expresses the urgency of delivering a unification of humanity through inspiring films. Audra is not alone in this belief, as 19 percent of adults in the United States have been identified as belonging to the lifestyle of health and sustainability (LOHAS) market, members of which value the mind-body-spirit connection and carry the ultimate purpose of reaching their full human potential...This growing population longs for films such as Awakeners to hit the movie theaters. People are asking for a shift toward conscious filmmaking, which indicates that consciousness-raising films may soon dominate the industry. Audra’s vision is that Awakeners will kick-start this trend, reaching blockbuster status by resonating in the hearts of its viewers.

As it happens, and as my pal Chris Locke at the Mystic B blog reminded me (he had previously told me about this but I'd forgotten it), LOHAS is also the official name of a Colorado-based organization that publishes a slick magazine and has its home on the Web at http://www.lohas.com/:

LOHAS companies practice "responsible capitalism" by providing goods and services using economic and environmentally sustainable business practices. LOHAS business owners and industry leaders from around the world meet each year at the LOHAS Conference to discuss industry trends, share ideas and learn how to run a successful LOHAS business.

LOHAS consumers, sometimes referred to as Lohasians, are interested in products covering a range of market sectors and sub-sectors, including: Green building supplies, socially responsible investing and "green stocks", alternative healthcare, organic clothing and food, personal development media, yoga and other fitness products, eco-tourism and more.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for sustainability and progressive business models that take into account that we're living on a fragile planet of finite resources. Actually, the planet isn't all that fragile (as the late George Carlin famously noted), but we are, and we seriously need to stop soiling our nest. My problem with the whole "sustainability" thang is that it almost always comes packaged with a cloying and annoying, although eminently blogworthy, SNAG* mindset.

Chris reminded me that LOHAS had their annual pow-wow in his hometown of Boulder this past summer, an event that, as he put it, "you can see documented in all its perverse glory" in the video on their site (here's the link again). "It's all just soooo Boulder," he wrote.

And if you want something that is not only soooo Boulder but also soooo SNAG-gy, give thanks unto Chris for pointing me in the direction of a guided meditation at the 2008 LOHAS event, led by Max Simon, son of Deepak Chopra's sidekick David Simon. Simon the Younger is Chief Enlightenment Officer of GetSelfCentere.com, which offers something called "Self-Centered Meditation." As Chris noted, you really could not make this stuff up.

So, are ya ready to meditate with the Lohasians? Well, then, here's the meditation. Strip naked if you need to, and try not to picture some of those Lohasians doing the same.

PS ~ Hey, and speaking of hustledork moviemercials, we have an official world premiere date for Beyond The Secret, which seems to be primarily "Scientist Bob" Proctor's brain child (I snarked a bit about it back in August; scroll down to "Scientist Bob is at it again!"). The link I provided on my post still works, but the page has changed; even so, the "movie" that's premiering in January of 2009 is clearly part of the same project I wrote about. Equally clearly, it is one of Scientist Bob's moneymaking (for him) schemes.

PPS ~ This doesn't have anything (directly) to do with hustledork movies, but the other day I promised a Twitter pal, Christopher Jorgensen – creator of the delightful Jackass Letters site – that in my next blog post I would mention a letter he wrote to someone I snarked about on my blog a couple of years ago. Whereas I generally just snark about people, Christopher, in the fine tradition of people such as Don Novello, aka Lazlo Toth, prefers to engage them directly. The guy he wrote to isn't a hustledork so much as he is a lovable kook: Lightworker/Spirit Master Gary Johnson, whom I blogged about in November of 2006.

Here's the letter, and the Lightworker's reply. Enjoy!

* SNAG: Sensitive New Age Guy (or Gal)

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Anonymous hHh said...

Lifestyle of Health and Sustainability?
From what I hear, most people are in for a lifestyle of poverty, food riots and martial law- but that's me, I just like to savour thoughts of catastrophe.
Best to suck those dollars out of the foolish before they realise how much they will need them.

Thursday, December 11, 2008 8:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Christopher L. Jorgensen said...

Thank's for mentioning my jackassletters site. I'll have to let you know if it sends any traffic my way. I'm not very good at reading the logs though, so can't tell where a lot of it's coming from.

Friday, December 12, 2008 4:14:00 PM  
Anonymous H,H,h said...

I read your letters, fella.

Friday, December 12, 2008 4:37:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH said:
"Best to suck those dollars out of the foolish before they realise how much they will need them."

Of course, you have just described the New-Wage business model in a nutshell.

Saturday, December 13, 2008 10:54:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Christopher L. Jorgensen said...

"Thank's for mentioning my jackassletters site."

You're welcome! I hope it does bring you more attention. I know that at least a few people are reading your letters as a direct result of my mention...

Saturday, December 13, 2008 10:56:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

...such as HHH, f'rinstance.

Saturday, December 13, 2008 10:56:00 AM  
Anonymous HhH said...

's right. So, spam's making a comeback, eh? I thought they had banned it along with AP mines and napalm.
You a spam fan then, Connie?
I reckon organic spam is a must for the LOHAS of the early 21st century. Spam made pigs fed on wildcrafted Tibetan organic blue green algae, prana enhanced and canned at source for extra fresh chi.

On another note, I've been availing myself of Kevinanda's guruphobic splurgings lately. He's a character that Kevinanda, and I was only joking when I called him a well poisoning horse thief.
Maybe we should send him some spam!

Saturday, December 13, 2008 5:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Lana said...

Keep this up, Connie, and you'll never get assistance from the other side.

Are we ready to do our own film? I want to be the director. No, wait, I want to be the choreographer. Makeup artist? Lead actress? Shoot -- I can never decide what I want. I'm already pretty good at shifting, don't you think?

(Back to meditating, fully clothed.)

Saturday, December 13, 2008 9:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Hhh said...

That last post of mine may seem a bit cryptic, but the relevent parties will know.

Sunday, December 14, 2008 4:33:00 AM  

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