Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Secret snarks and "healing" art

I know I’ve been remiss in my blogging duties of late, but believe me, it’s not for lack of interest or a dearth of material. I have a growing backlog of half-finished posts about hot topics in the New-Wage world. Work trumps all of that, though, and the Rev and I are racing some pretty crazy deadlines these days. But I thought I’d steal a few moments to share a couple of tidbits.

Not that this will make any difference to Rhonda’s bottom line, but…
…at least it’s comforting to know that more and more writers are joining the neverending battle to restore sanity to a Secret
-crazed world. Chris Locke, the raconteur behind the Mystic Bourgeoisie blog, sent me a link to yet another offering from Slate. In this one, John Gravois makes a heartfelt plea to Queen Oprah to withdraw her endorsement of The Secret. As you probably know, she has already sort of backpedaled from her previous wholehearted endorsement, but Gravois says she needs to finish the job and come clean about how stupid – and potentially destructive – the ideas in The Secret really are. Here’s the link.

I also got a nice email from Scott Pape, aka The Barefoot Investor, sharing a link to an article he wrote on The Secret and its only Aussie "star" (besides Rhonda Byrne), David Schirmer. The piece appeared in the Herald Sun, Australia’s biggest daily. Scott even quoted me, and he also came to the same conclusion Blair Warren did a few months back, regarding the real law at work in The Secret: the Law Of Extraction. Here’s the link to Scott’s article.

Art imitates crap
It has been said that art has the power to heal. At least that’s the idea behind art therapy, which, according to the American Art Therapy Association web site
, is "an established mental health profession that uses the creative process of art making to improve and enhance the physical, mental and emotional well-being of individuals of all ages." I’ll buy that. Creating art can be great therapy, even if the art itself isn’t all that great. I'm living proof; every time I make one of my silly composite graphics to illustrate a blog post, using my rudimentary PhotoShop® skills, I feel ever so much better than I did before I sat down at the computer.

Well, it turns out that merely looking at art has the power to heal too. And there’s a guy in St. Pete, Florida named Bill Austin who will sell you a piece of art containing "very advanced coding" for everything that could possibly ail you. It appears that Bill was guided to create these pieces by highly evolved beings. He calls his works healing holograms, and says they are advanced tools for… well, let me let him tell you:

After I was working with images for several months, I got that I should begin bringing in some advanced mastery tool images for healers, teachers and light workers to assist them to get their world service work out into the world in an impeccable and pristine way. Each of the images contains very advanced coding to assist people in the areas that are the title for each picture. When you order one of these images, you should print it off and look at it several times a day for at least three weeks and by that time, you will have upgraded your consciousness with the energies encoded into each picture. Each picture is calibrated to integrate with ease and grace for each person that looks at it. However, since you receive an upgrade each time you look at these images, the more time you spend with them - the more you will receive.

Each digital image and all of the scans are set up energetically in such a way that the energy is maintained pristinely so that each image holds the same energy signature, frequency and intensity as the original painting. I also adjusted each image energetically so that they can be framed or laminated without losing any energy. I asked that the paintings be scan friendly and I am quite pleased with how the scans came out. Basically what I am doing is selling 8.5" by 11" digital pdf images. At this time there are three sets of images in this grouping of Advanced Mastery Tools...

Bill’s images go for $30-$75 each. Pictured above is the Financial Sovereignty Transmuter Shield, which will transmute you into a financial sovereign or something. And pictured here to the left is the Mastery Tool that will activate your DNA and RNA. Since the pic is really itty-bitty, it will probably only activate your DNA and RNA a little bit, if at all. You will more than likely need to purchase the image from Bill to get any noticeable activation.

DNA is a really big deal in the New-Wage world these days, as I may have mentioned here before. If you don’t believe me, just Google "DNA activation". People who are, from all appearances, barely smart enough to even spell "DNA" correctly, to say nothing of actually knowing what it is, are hawking products and services to help you activate, reprogram,* deprogram, or raise the frequency of your own DNA in order to keep up with the accelerating vibes of our planet. Bill, too, offers a series of Crystalline Light Body Attunements; he has several packages ranging from $200.00 to $600.00. Apparently he does his attuning remotely; he doesn’t even have to be on the same planet as you (and apparently isn’t, from what I can tell). The most powerful – and expensive – attunement is something Bill calls the VOID Light Body DNA Activation, Clearing and Attunement:

This is the most powerful light body and dna activation that I offer. This VOID DNA activation session includes a clearing of anything and everything that would adversely impact your ability to activate and integrate the Void light body and the accompanying attunements. After the clearing is done, the activation of the VOID Light Body will take place and over 300,000 strands of your DNA will be activated assuming that you are ready for this activation to occur. The number of attunements that you will receive will be determined by your spiritual evolution.

Please note that this activation is not for everyone. People need to have obtained a high level of mastery in order to receive the full benefits from this activation. Please go within and ask if you are ready for this activation BEFORE you order it.

The cost of this DNA Activation is $600 and I will try to transmit it to you within four business days after I receive your order. Prerequisite: Crystalline Ultra-Violet Light Body Clearing, Activation and Attunements. I do ask clients to please wait at least one month after the crystalline ultra-violet light body activation before ordering this one to allow time for integration.

And the DNA series is just one of many "attunements" Bill can do. Not everything he offers costs money, however. Conscious of the fact that many spiritually evolved people are still poor as church mice and/or sick as dogs despite watching The Secret 700 times a week, Bill has decided to share some of his wisdom without charge. For example, he currently has 35 free MP3 recordings that will help heal everything from HIV/AIDS to cancer to obesity to anger to "Aging, Greying, Balding, and PMS." Yep, the latter four conditions are covered in one MP3. I would think that anyone who has all four of those problems – or any of the others on Bill’s lengthy list – would need more than an MP3 and/or a crappy painting, but what do I know? I’m not the healer.

Bill offers the standard disclaimer that all alt-healers do these days, but he goes one step further:

Please note that our energy healing sessions are not intended to be medical or psychiatric treatment and/or a replacement for such treatment. All healing that occurs in any session comes from your soul and Spirit. I merely facilitate this process and set a space for the healing to occur.

By ordering an energy healing session for yourself, you are giving me permission to work with your soul. Each time I transmit energies to your soul, many healing frequencies are transmitted in addition to the ones that you request. It is up to your soul to choose which energies it wishes to implement at any given moment.

In other words, if you don’t notice any difference in your life after spending hundreds of dollars for Bill’s digital images and "energy transmissions" and other stuff, it’s because your soul has decided it’s not ready to accelerate or raise its frequencies or whatever. There’s no word on whether or not Bill will give you and your soul a refund in that case, but I’m thinking probably not.

I gotta find me a scam…

But meanwhile, back to the world of honest work.

PS (Sunday, May 20) ~ I just got another email from Bill Austin (via my favorite New-Wage spam service), and here's more good news: He has a new line of Fabulous Healing Products for under $15, incorporating his digital art images. Here, in Bill's own words, are descriptions of a few of these products:

  • A sticker to heal and clear water. Most of our bodies are comprised of water and this image helps to upgrade the water aspect of the body as well as to heal and clear less-than-love energies and vibrations from the water we drink.
  • A baby bib that is encoded with a lot of healing energies for children. As most parents realize the children being born on the planet now are very evolved and the energies encoded into the image on the bib help provide energetic support and protection for these children.
  • A Money Blessing Tile that you can place your wallet, purse, currency, checkbook, invoices, coins, etc. on to clear any less-than-love energies around your money. Also clears financial curse energies and bad luck.
  • A drug blessing tile to clear less-than-love energies from any prescription, non-prescription or recreational drugs.
No doubt about it, New-Wage capitalists are nothing if not creative and enterprising. (I especially love the idea of a drug-clearing tile; it should do wonders for the tweakers and crackheads who wander the streets of our cities...)

* Regarding the link on the word "reprogram": Avail yourself of Amazon's "Search inside the book" feature; type DNA into the search field and go to the entry on page 126 (and then continue to page 127). The relevant part on page 126 begins under the subhead "The script." But while you're there, you might as well read the bit about the yagya in the section above.

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