Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Wednesday, March 09, 2016

Donald Trump names Kevin Trudeau as running mate in 2016 race to the White House

Jupiter, Florida, API News Services, March 9, 2016 -- Eat your heart out, Canada; the US might soon have a Trudeau in power too. But he won't be a liberal like that young Justin fellow.

In a stunning development in an already controversial US presidential campaign, Republican front-runner Donald J. Trump has named infomercial king Kevin Trudeau as his running mate. Although currently serving a 10-year sentence in a Federal prison in Alabama for criminal contempt related to infomercials for one of his diet books, that's no impediment, says Mr. Trump, who added that the Donald J. Trump Foundation has made a "substantial" donation to Mr. Trudeau's legal defense fund.

Said Mr. Trump, "I've given careful consideration to this matter and after talking to and vetting many, many people, I have decided that I needed another 'outsider' rather than a career politician by my side. Kevin is definitely an outsider; the establishment hates him. And he and I have a lot in common. He is one of the most successful businessmen in modern history, and he has terrific taste in foreign wives. He can pick a '10' every time.

"And like me, Kevin has been fighting the establishment and telling truths that those in power just don't want to hear. They don't wanna hear any of it, I tell you. They're running scared now. And Kevin, he got put in jail for telling the truth, and that never should have happened."

When asked how a convicted felon could become V.P., Mr. Trump scoffed. "There's nothing in the Constitution that says a convicted felon can't be president or vice president."

He added that the point might become moot anyway. "Kevin lost his appeal last month but we're taking the case to the Supreme Court. We're going to get his conviction reversed, we're going to get that $40 million civil fine vacated, and we're going to make sure that the government compensates Kevin for all of the time and money they've taken from him. And we're gonna get that 1990s fraud conviction reversed too; he never should have been in jail for that either.

"And then we're gonna change the criminal contempt laws, and throw out the Federal Trade Commission if we need to, so that something like this travesty of justice will never happen again.

"The bottom line is that Kevin Trudeau is a great, great American. He's gonna help me re-open Trump University, and along with our mutual friend Troy McClain -- he was on The Apprentice and he's running that GIN club now, and there is definitely a position for him in my cabinet --- together we are going to make America great again."


I have other Matters of Consequence to deal with now, but will have more about this tomorrow.

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Blogger Roy Farver said...

Is This part of the Twelve Vision Party agenda.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016 6:19:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

No, it's part of the Cosmic Connie satire agenda.

Thursday, November 10, 2016 9:53:00 PM  

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