Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Scammy Award winners

Americans Against Self-Help Fraud has announced the 2009 winners of the SCAMMY Awards, bestowed upon selfish-help/New-Wage gurus for, as AASHF founder Dr. John Curtis puts it, "'excellence'" in shamelessly ripping off Americans with their falsehoods, false hopes, myths & half-truths."

These awards are part of National Guru-Free Week April 1 - 8, 2009.

And the Scammys go to...

  • DUMB SPEAK AWARD – given for the most unintelligent thing uttered by a Self-Help Guru: Joe Vitale & runner-up Eckhart Tolle
  • HYPOCRITE AWARD – given to the Self-Help guru with the biggest gap between their professed values and how they actually behave: David Schirmer & runner-up Bob Proctor
  • DADDY BIG BUCKS AWARD – given to the Self-Help Guru whose lifestyle shows that they are only in it for the money: Joe Vitale
  • BI-POLAR AWARD – given to the Self-Help Guru whose promises got the opposite results: Heidi Diaz, promoter of the Kimkins diet (while outside of the usual scope of the Scammy Awards, she received a large "write-in" vote)
  • BEST PERFORMANCE IN A MIS-LEADING ROLE AWARD – given to the Self Help Guru who did the best job of deceiving the public: Rhonda Bryne
  • BERNIE MADOFF LIFETIME MIS-ACHIEVEMENT AWARD – given to the best, all around Self-Help Guru who did the most to diminish the human race: Joe Vitale & Tony Robbins

My heartiest congratulations go to all of the winners, who worked hard to earn their Scammys. I can't wait to hear their acceptance speeches.

Now, if y'all want to see how I voted (and how I based my decisions), go to the "Comments" section.

By the way, Dr. John Curtis is available for interviews about the Scammy Awards, Guru-Free Week, and Americans Against Self-Help Fraud. 407.493.7323

Labels: ,

14 Comments:

Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

I know you're just dying to know whom Cosmic Connie chose for the Scammy Awards, and why. So here goes...

1. DUMB SPEAK AWARD - given for the most unintelligent thing uttered by a Self-Help Guru:
Bob Proctor (nearly everything he says these days sounds pretty dumb, particularly re quantum physics)

2. HYPOCRITE AWARD - given to the Self-Help guru with the biggest gap between their professed values and how they actually behave:
David Schirmer (Aussie "Secret" Star, the "Mini-Madoff of Melbourne" -- who claims to be a faith-filled Christian who touts family values, but whose professional and personal life are...well, let's just say, not in sync with Christian values as I understand them)

3. DADDY BIG BUCKS AWARD - given to the Self-Help Guru whose lifestyle shows that they are only in it for the money:
Joe Vitale (for his Attract Miracles online community & his $5,000-per-head Rolls-Royce Masterminds, just to name a couple)

4. HOODWINKED AWARD - given to the Self-Help Guru who did the best job of tricking a celebrity into being their sponsor:
Rhonda Byrne (for getting Oprah to promote The Secret) (I would have voted for L. Ron Hubbard but I thought the awards were restricted to those who are still among us)

5. BI-POLAR AWARD - given to the Self-Help Guru whose promises got the opposite results:
Joe Vitale (for sending out email blast to "stop" Hurricane Ike, as he claimed he'd previously done with Hurricane Rita)

6. BEST PERFORMANCE IN A MIS-LEADING ROLE AWARD - given to the Self Help Guru who did the best job of deceiving the public:
Kevin Trudeau (convicted fraudster & serial scammer; he just keeps on keeping on!)

7. BERNIE MADOFF LIFETIME MIS-ACHIEVEMENT AWARD - given to the best, all around Self-Help Guru who did the most to diminish the human race:
Werner Erhard (founder of est, arguably the father of the modern selfish-help movement, & every New-Wage hustledork's hero) (And again, L. Ron Hubbard would have had my vote, but I didn't know a Scammy could be granted posthumously)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 10:47:00 AM  
Anonymous M said...

Woo hoo! Joe Vitale's a triple "winner"!

Kind of makes my day.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 4:20:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Sadly, though, M, I bet Mr. Fire won't even mention his triple victory. Such an ingrate...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 4:23:00 PM  
Blogger Athol Kay said...

I guess I don't follow all these people closely enough to get the joke. There's no explanation of why they are Scammy, just the statement that they are.

Just out of curiosity - what was the most unintelligent thing uttered by a self-help guru?

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 4:54:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

You raise some excellent points, AK. No doubt most of the voters do follow the Scammy "winners" closely, but not everyone does. If the Scammy Awards are to be something more than an inside joke, some refinements are probably in order for future "contests."

In the future, perhaps the survey should specifically ask why the person deserves a Scammy. When I voted, I actually did include my explanation of my reasons for each of my choices; I shared all of that with y'all in my comment here. But I don't know if all of the voters bothered to explain their votes.

Frankly, I think that one would be hard-pressed to name the most unintelligent thing uttered by a self-help guru. Perhaps the category description should have read: "given to the self-help guru who consistently utters the most unintelligent things." And then maybe there could be a separate "award" for the actual dumbest quotation.

I was inspired to choose Bob Proctor for the "Dumbspeak Award" because of his inane statements about quantum physics and such. However, my vote was also strongly influenced not by something he said but by something he wrote (or that someone wrote for him, but that he apparently approved). I refer to the ad copy for one of his most recent schemes -- the one where he introduced the eleven "forgotten laws" that make the Law Of Attraction really work for you. I snarked about it a while back:

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/2008/12/how-to-reposition-your-boner-and-other.html

Anyway, I'll pass your feedback along to John Curtis. No doubt the Scammy Awards are a work in progress, and there's always room for improvement and refinement.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 6:05:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Addendum to my reply to AK: For the benefit of you and others who might not understand why the Scammy winners deserved their "awards," I added new links to the names of the winners. These links now lead to critical sites rather than the winners' official sites.

Just trying to be helpful! :-)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 7:11:00 PM  
Anonymous M said...

"Sadly, though, M, I bet Mr. Fire won't even mention his triple victory. Such an ingrate..."

Bahahahaha!

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 7:41:00 PM  
Blogger Athol Kay said...

Much improved Connie.

I guess the basic problem comes from that all the self-help people are at least partly right. Everything works up until a point, then it gets extended to illogical conclusions.

Like Feng Shui - I'll bet if you clean your room/house and fix all the broken stuff, you'll feel better about the place and people will like to come over more. That's a no brainer. Just once you say "paint this room red, turn the bed north, put a fountain over there, and zomg windchimes!!!" I don't see how that gets me sex with Nicole Kidman.

(apologies to Nicole Kidman)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 7:49:00 PM  
Anonymous Yakaru said...

Good to see Eckhart Troll finally getting some recognition. I watched a few seconds of the video at the link. It reminded me of a satsang teacher I know who actually fell asleep during his own satsang. Eckhart seems to be able to keep talking from that state.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009 8:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Joey said...

I can see why every one of them were nominated.

I was just informed that about eight of David Schirmers companies are being struck off by the authorities in Australia. Of course I don't know what for and I don't care either but its all on the ASIC website if anyone wants to look. I just thought it was an amusing observation given that the guy has been boasting for years about how good he's been and how rich he is. He looks like hes now into amateur videos and twit messages to make himself feel good but I suppose what is a man to do when he can't do anything right.

Got to say I was surprised that Hubbard got one but there you go, just shows that they will always be known for the wrong they have done people.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009 10:52:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OUCH!!!! That should hurt a few egos.

Thursday, April 02, 2009 4:57:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whoa Joe, good work on those nominations. To understand why people get these nominations you don't have to look any further that the one and only David Schirmer from Australia. He has apparently been in court several times again in the last few weeks. Just shows you how arrogant these guys can be and when push comes to shove they fight better than anyone in fact I think that is why they get into this sort of business, its like it justifies all the other crap that they do. He's the one who is claiming to be a faith walking christian to isn't he, not but faith in what he is doing and saying these days. I find it mostly bile to be honest. All they do is blame everyone else and not take responsibility for anything that they have done.

Friday, April 03, 2009 2:19:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The code of the CON

ADMIT NOTHING, DENY EVERYTHING, THROW ACCUSATIONS BACK AT YOUR ACCUSERS.

It works temporarily and ends up slapping them in the face.

Friday, April 03, 2009 3:32:00 AM  
Anonymous Marim said...

Hey Joey Schirmers companies are up and alive again so I guess he was FORCED to pay his bills. I checked out what is meant to have a company struck off and one of the reasons was they were not paying their bills. Who ever would have guessed that Schirmer would not be paying a bill. Isnt't that exactly what all those Aussies were at him for. What a fool to even do it to the government body. I guess they know now what the guy does and why so many people are so angry with him. God I wish I could delay my bills until I'm retired, that would almost suit me well. Some people and what is even more hilarious is that he is trying to teach people how to be wealthy.

Friday, April 17, 2009 8:18:00 AM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home