Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

New-Wage in a nutshell (or two)

I'm in Lazy Blogger mode again. More accurately, I'm in Busy Real-Work mode, so the blog has to take a back seat. But I just had to pop in and share a couple of gems that fall in the "wish I'd written that" category.

First, my new pal Mojo, whose writing never fails to delight me, pointed me to a piece she wrote a couple of years ago to accompany some old Tony Robbins tapes she was selling on eBay. This piece that sums up the entire selfish-help/New-Wage industry in a few paragraphs. Here's the link.

And then just today, I happened to stumble upon a link that should prove to be inspirational to all of you online marketing types (or to those of you who are fed up with online marketing types). Apparently not everyone thinks this is funny, but I almost peed myself laughing. Here's THAT link.

As the shiny happy gurus like to say: Enjoy!



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off literally!!!!

That is an excellent link and if I recall there are many of the new age, I'm god and you're not, selfish help, personally developing, gurus out there who use that exact profile for a "gotchya ha ha" page.

Thursday, July 17, 2008 8:00:00 PM  
Anonymous Phillip said...

Says everything, a perfect take off of the crap that the public is dished up daily.

Saturday, July 19, 2008 6:52:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon, I agree that it's a wonderful link. Apparently some people don't think so, though.

Saturday, July 19, 2008 7:10:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

You said it, Phillip. You'd think that the Internet hustledorks would try something new at this point, but I guess that butt-ugly template filled with hype is working for them... so why change what's working?

Saturday, July 19, 2008 7:13:00 AM  
Anonymous HHH said...

Off topic, have you seen that Dreaming Bear has been laid up in a wheelchair?

You know what, I like the fella, and I hope he's up out of that pronto.

Saturday, July 19, 2008 8:06:00 AM  
Anonymous mojo said...

I must admit, I was only kidding when I first offered you the exciting wealth-building opportunity of a shiny new nickel every time you mentioned my name.

Now I see you threaten to bankrupt me. :)

Thanks for the kind plug--although I too wish I had written the "my stupid ebook" page. Classic!

Sunday, July 20, 2008 6:08:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH, while I certainly don't wish DB ill, I can't help wondering if the wheelchair is just another prop... Call me cynical but I can't help wondering. If it's real, of course, I wish him a speedy recovery.

Sunday, July 20, 2008 1:09:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Mojo, you can keep your nickels -- just keep writing (and making videos)!

Sunday, July 20, 2008 1:11:00 PM  
Anonymous hhh said...

Nah, he's a good lad, I even like his performances. Makes me want to give myself a bit of a makeover- I'm pretty bored with jeans and T-shirt. Where I live, eagle feathers and a sorcerers staff may be asking for a kicking, but...I have done weird before.
Nope, I'm a fan, and I won't hear a word against him.

Sunday, July 20, 2008 8:35:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH, I like DB too, even though I make fun of him. He's such a ham; what's not to like about him?

As for your own makeover, I think you've hit upon a brilliant idea. After all, you're already a talented poet. Just dress yourself up in some faux-Native-American gear and start perpetrating poetry recitals. You could mix it with interpretive dance and, of course, you could have backup musicians to enhance the performance. I for one would love to see you and your troupe bring "Ode To Cosmic Connie" to life. And I can't wait to see how you guys interpret that powerful piece you wrote about chowing down on praying mantises.

Go for it! Seize the day! Take back the night! And grab the afternoon and early dusk while you're at it! Dare something worthy! Or at least blogworthy! Or -- as DB himself would say -- Make love to the moment!

Monday, July 21, 2008 1:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So, here I am everyone.
Until roughly two weeks ago, I had been an avid follower of pretty much any new age teaching that had been presented to me. I had been doing this for around 7 years (I'm 36 now).
The Secret had been my life ever since I first saw it. Many of the people in my life are "new agers", and I had even been instrumental in starting a small publishing company that had these philosophies.

I fell in love with the whole new age way of thinking.

Well, to quote Black Rebel Motorcycle Club...
"It's easy to fall in love, but there ain't no easy way out".

It took a long time for me to realize I was smelling bulls*** (I probably can't cuss on here, can I?) but now that I have, I'm practically choking on it.

The things brought up on this and other places on the web are beating me down with logic. I had once embraced logic, and thought I wasn't too bad at applying it sometimes.
Then came my introduction to New Age. Granted, I still think some of the basic ideas could be right...oh, who am I kidding, I don't know what's real as far as spirituality goes right now. The dust is still settling, and every link I go to, every time I remember something from my own life that happened that I just glossed over and created a spin on for myself, I just get to feeling drained.

Seven years.

I was sitting having a beer tonight, thinking it all over in the bar, and almost started crying
(yes, in my beer).
Part of the time I feel relieved, and part of the time I feel like puking. I did not have a huge financial investment in it all (the money that I had so long expected to get from all this never came, and it was not for lack of effort on my part, both physical and mental).
I did however, have a HUGE emotional investment in it.
As I read over old postings here, talking about how certain schemes work and these types of people operate, I can definitely see it had happened to me.

Thanks for letting me vent. I will switch my bracelet over to the other wrist now.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008 3:45:00 AM  
Anonymous hhh said...

Yeah, I'll push the moment over the kitchen sink and make it squeal like an electrocuted hog.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 4:39:00 AM  
Anonymous hhh said...

Ahem, I mean embrace the moment during a five mile run and a cold shower.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 9:49:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, Jason, and thanks for writing about your experience. I went through pretty much the same thing years ago, although I didn't cry in my beer because my disillusionment occurred after I'd stopped drinking. :-)

My disillusionment with new-agey things took a couple of years to sink in, and when I first discovered skepticism, I experienced a period of real discomfort. This gave way to anger at my former "ignorance" but then turned to giddiness, for I believed I had finally discovered the truth, or at least something closer to the truth. After a while, though, I discovered that many of the "skeptics" and critical-thinking types had their own axes to grind.

An old blog post of mine might give some more insight into my own twisted journey, especially if you follow the links to my two-part “Confession” on my Cosmic Relief web site. Here’s a link to the blog post: http://tinyurl.com/5phn22

I'm probably just as full of crap as anyone else, but I have been striving to find a balance, and in the process have been lambasted not only by believers for being too cynical or snarky, but also by some skeptics for not being "skeptical" enough. I think, however, that both believers and skeptics can find common ground, at least for a few moments, by acknowledging that we live in a universe full of wonders and mystery, and that no one has all of the answers.

We all, at some level, want to believe in the mystery and magic. While I have contempt for the hucksters who take advantage of this very human longing, I understand that longing, and I acknowledge that even today it exists in me. Had I not had the advantage of many years of observation at the time "The Secret" came along, I might very well have been taken in too.

Anyway, Jason, I think that by sharing your experience you’re not only helping yourself deal with it, but you may also be helping others who are at their own stages of disillusionment. So again, I thank you for writing.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 11:30:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH, you are a poet indeed. All you need is a phony Native-American name, a loincloth and some feathers, some backup Sufi musicians/dancers (you gotta do that multi-culty thing, y'know)...and you're set.

Oh, and maybe a banjo player or two could enhance the "squealing hog" imagery...

Tuesday, July 22, 2008 11:35:00 AM  
Anonymous hhh said...

I am chief Running Sore. I used to catch dreams and see visions in the sweat lodge, but there was a glut of American dreams and the market collapsed. So I outsourced and now I import cheap Chinese sweatshop dreams.

You watched his gig eh? Ah yes, the old Native American/Sufi. After listening to that radio interview you linked to, I have to agree he certainly has the gift of the gab. I mean really, he does.

I agree though, a banjo playing retard and some hillbilly pervs would have added an interesting (in'eressin') flavour to his show.

Oh great spirit is nothing sacred?!!


Tuesday, July 22, 2008 4:14:00 PM  

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