Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Kinky: Why the hell not?

Warning: This post may contain material not suitable for sensitive audiences.

Those of you who are not residents of the Great State of Texas may be a little disappointed when I inform you that, title notwithstanding, this post is not about unconventional sex. You won’t find lurid tales of naughty boys being whipped by gorgeous gals in black leather mini dresses and spiky-heeled boots. You’ll not see one word about beautiful women doing unspeakable things with very large dogs (as this sentence is, in fact, 24 words long).

Instead, this post is about unconventional politics, about one man’s attempt to give Texas politics a good whomping on its behind. However, dogs are involved, sort of, in more ways than one – more on that in a moment.

Before we go any further (though perhaps we have already gone too far), let me reassure you right now that Whirled Musings is not going to be a political blog. Goddess knows there are enough of those on the Net already, and besides, I am about as qualified to write about politics as W is to teach English grammar. (Hey, I didn’t say I wasn’t going to get some potshots in. ***)

No, this is essentially a pop-culture blog, and yes, I know there are tons of those on the Net too. But I am marginally more qualified to write about pop culture than about politics, so when the two overlap I reserve the right to milk it for all it’s worth. And although my intention is to focus mainly on new-age/self-help stuff, I will also occasionally venture into other areas. (Besides, remember that new age credo: “Everything is interrelated!”)

So consider this one of those “other areas.” The Kinky to whom this post is lovingly dedicated is one Richard S. Friedman, commonly known as Kinky, who has been making news lately with his campaign for governor of Texas. And my partner Ron Kaye and I are two of the thousands of Texans, who, profoundly disillusioned with politix-as-usual, are enthusiastically supporting his efforts. To begin with, we signed the petition to get Kinky Friedman on the ballot, and by golly, we were successful. (Well, okay, Ron and I had help from 137,000 other folks or so.)

We Kinky folk have been criticized by many, even those who do not support the incumbent, Rick Perry, and the Grand Oil Party. We’ve been chastised for not supporting a “serious” candidate such as Democrat Chris Bell (Kinky is running as an indie candidate). We’ve been told we’re playing right into the hands of the Republicans, since Kinky doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in Houston of actually getting to the gov’ner’s mansion. But it’s a risk we’re willing to take.

There’s a lot to love about Kinky Friedman, not the least of which is his sheer entertainment value – as well as the entertainment value of those he has enlisted to help him. For example, there is Mojo Nixon, who is described by Wikipedia as “a satirical psychobilly musician known for his boisterousness, his often scathing critiques of pop culture and his libertarian political views.” My kinda guy, in other words, and Kinky’s too, obviously. Mojo was one of many unconventional sorts who did PR work to help get the Kinkster on the ballot. The Houston Press, my town’s alternative weekly rag, ran an article on Mojo back in April of this year. (Warning to sensitive sorts: the article contains profanities.)

According to Mojo, what separates Kinky from the “lying c--k s----rs” (politicians) is that, “One, Kinky's a romantic, a true believer. Kinky is not an evil whoredog.” (See, I told you dogs were involved.)

Mojo elaborates: “He truly believes in the goodness of people, and God bless his ass for that. Two, you can't tell if he's serious or not. It's an Andy Kaufman situation. What the f--k is really going on here? We know what the Democrats and Republicans are gonna do -- they've got a song and dance. They're selling us the same bag of s--t with different colors on it."

According to Nixon, the "whoredogs" are concerned only about their wealthy backers (duh). "They don't give a f--k about me and you,” says Mojo. “Our balls could be on fire, and their mouths could be full of water, and they'd hold it in for the guy that gave 'em the check."

I couldn’t have said it better myself, although I personally wouldn’t have said, “our balls.”

Kinky, as should be abundantly evident by now, is no politician. He rose to fame as a musician and a surprisingly prolific author. He is also an animal lover – and you gotta love a big tough guy who truly adores and understands cats the way he does. In fact he has devoted a big part of his life to rescuing unwanted animals – not just cats, but also dogs (naturally), and horses, cows, donkeys, pot-bellied pigs, birds, snakes…you name it.

So far his detractors, by and large, refuse to take him or his supporters seriously. After all, he’s an entertainer and writer, not a politician. The rebuttal to that is obvious. If a professional wrestler can become governor of Minnesota, if an actor can become governor of California (or president of the US, for that matter), if a village idiot can… Oh, bad, bad Connie. Stop it right this instant.

One clear advantage I can see about Kinky’s gubernatorial campaign is that his opponents won’t be wasting taxpayer money, and endlessly trying our patience, with lame attempts to dig up dirt about Kinky’s wicked past. Near as I can tell, all of his “dirt” is on the surface. It doesn’t take a keen investigative journalist from the very fair and balanced FOX-TV news organization to come to the conclusion that Kinky probably did and does inhale; that he has had sex with lots of women to whom he is not married; and that he has probably never been the kind of guy you would want your daughter to date. Further, he most likely knows what the definition of “is” is, and, for that matter, what it ain’t. So when the inevitable self-righteous posturing starts, when his opponents finally begin to take him seriously and someone steps forth with accusations that he is a profane womanizer who has indulged in numerous recreational substances, his answer will be, “What's your point, Bubba?” Or maybe just, "Thanks!"

Mojo Nixon, according to the Houston Press article cited above, says that Kinky is running a "spiritual" campaign. "If you get that, you get the whole thing immediately," says Nixon. "Arguing over taxes, the details of governing, is boring. Nobody wants to hear about that, and the governor in Texas is just a figurehead. Why not have a fun figurehead?"

Why not indeed? Or, rather…why the hell not?

PS – If you’ve grown bored with reading your “George W. Bushisms” quote-a-day calendar, here is a link to some snippets from the writings of Kinky, who, unlike W, intended to be humorous.

*** Okay, okay…in the interests of providing equal time for the other side: I am about as qualified to write about politics as Bill C is to teach abstinence classes.

Labels:

6 Comments:

Blogger Rodger Johnson said...

Interesting...

Tuesday, August 01, 2006 9:24:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Rodg. I wouldn't normally dream of boring out-of-staters with Texas politics...but Kinky, well, he's bigger than Texas. (BTW, I've backed Dave Barry for president every year since 1992...maybe I'll have better luck with this Kinky-for-gov thing.):-)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006 12:47:00 AM  
Anonymous KinkyTwinky said...

Kinky's campaign kicks a$$ because he's making money while he runs for office.

As Fox News reported, "entertainer and Texas gubernatorial candidate Kinky Friedman, complete with cigar, black cowboy hat and Southern drawl, is about to star in his own reality show.

'Go Kinky,' airing on Country Music Television, follows Friedman, an independent candidate, on the campaign trail in the Lone Star State.

'Every crazy redneck in Texas is for Kinky,' Friedman told FOXNews.com from his ranch in Medina, Texas."


As an added bonus, Kinky's official campaign website reminds you that Mr. Friedman has a new book coming out.

This pro-capitalism attitude influences Kinky's political views, too. For example, one prominent feature of Kinky's campaign has been Kinky's pledge to turn over Texas public school physical education programs to corporations and charge them whatever they will pay to "get their hooks into the athletes while they’re still young."

LOL!

There is one concern I have about Kinky. The latest SurveyUSA poll show that Kinky could be doing better among Black voters. Kinky's support among likely Black voters is 6% and 4% among minorities who did not list their race. That's less than half the support among Black voters that even Governor Hairspray receives.

Kinky's support among likely Black voters was somewhat harmed as a result of this video from Kinky's appearance last November on CNBC's "The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch" where Kinky explained his view that criminals should be punished by locking them in prison and making them "listen to a Negro talking to himself."

It didn't help too much when Donny Deutsch asked if Kinky's statement was possibly a little racist, and Kinky replied that "Negro is a charming word."

The SurveyUSA poll also shows that Kinky has the least support of all the candidates among Hispanic voters.

Again, Kinky's support is harmed by newspaper interviews where Kinky says the Tejano protesters marching in favor of immigration reform were "half playing hooky" and other newspaper interviews where Kinky says "I will divide the border into five jurisdictions, assigning one Mexican general to each and providing a trust fund for that general" and where Kinky says "all of these politicians are afraid of offending Hispanics."

Obviously, Kinky is not "afraid of offending Hispanics" – or Black voters, for that matter. It's cool that Kinky's not politically correct, but it's affecting his appeal among minority voters in Texas.

On the bright side, Kinky has some awesome quotes:

Kinky said "I have mixed feelings on parental notification" about abortions for girls under the age of 18 and "on the counseling requirement, I'm not sure, but I know the less I talk to social workers, the better. No issue with the public-funding restrictions, but I would want to investigate further."

Kinky said "I am not anti-death penalty."

Kinky said "let's do away with the death penalty."

Kinky said of Bush's Iraq War "I agree with most of his political positions overseas, his foreign policy."

Kinky said what Bush has "been doing in the Near East and in the Middle East, he’s handling that well, I think."

Kinky said my "voting record doesn't look strong, but my voting record is better than Dick Cheney's."

Kinky said "I am going to see non-denominational prayer and the Ten Commandments put back in the schools."

Friday, August 04, 2006 5:50:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Twinky. Irony duly noted. :-) (I have made a commitment to myself to publish comments from all sides, no matter how foolish they make me look, LOL.)

Saturday, August 05, 2006 9:33:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

I should amend my previous comment and say I plan to publish comments from all sides, "no matter how foolish they *are intended* to make me look. Or how foolish they are intended to make Kinky look, for that matter. It should be pretty clear for anyone who has been following him that The Kinkster is an equal opportunity offender (who even makes snide remarks about Jews, though he himself is Jewish).

Do I agree with everything he says? Nope. Do I see the inconsistency in some of his comments? Yep. But in the end, as may not have been terribly clear in my original post, the vote for Kinky is, above all, a PROTEST vote.

And I fully support Kinky's creative capitalism.

Saturday, August 05, 2006 10:08:00 AM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

Of course, nobody could ever accuse the incumbent peanut gallery of either of those twin "sins," inconsistency or greed.

While I would be the first to note the ludicrous nature of some of Kinky's public statements, I keep in mind that he is playing to a room of observers who are quite accustomed to being fed manure, and is enjoying his little jibes at their idiocy - especially those for whom his irony is incomprehensible.

I genuinely hope that Kinky's campaign is successful, and that the folks who have created and perpetuated the sham of "business as usual" spend some time wondering what happened to their gravy train.

Saturday, August 05, 2006 10:25:00 AM  

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