Pardon the Schadenfruede; it comes with the territory

Dear Ones, I must apologize for being away from my Whirled for so long. Not only have I been inundated with work (which is always a good thing), but my head was momentarily turned by Facebook: yes, I finally succumbed to pressure last month and got myself a cage in Zuckerberg's Zoo. Like many people I have mixed feelings about Facebook, for it is many things and not all of them are good. For those wishing to promote their businesses it is without a doubt a leveler of the playing field, providing another way for companies both small and large to connect with their customers. But it also provides yet another means for hustledorks and serial scammers to expand their own platforms.

And while Facebook is perhaps most famously a way for friends and family to "keep in touch," this is not always a good thing. It also offers yet another way for people who supposedly love each other to air their dirty laundry, work out their festering issues, and hurt each other in a very public manner. Being witness to several examples of the latter was one factor that made me hesitant to join Facebook at all.

But in the end, Facebook won.

Though I strongly suspect that Facebook has become part of the New World Marketing Order and is little more than an elaborate ploy to gather all of our mineworthy data into one convenient package (and we are WILLINGLY providing the exploiters with this information, no matter how carefully we've tweaked our "privacy" settings), my addiction to nattering on about myself often trumps caution and common sense. Accordingly I have been dutifully updating my status and participating in discussions that interest me, though I utterly refuse to play those silly Facebook games, and I rarely participate in surveys. Besides being even more time-wasting than blogging or tweeting or holding forth with freely chosen Facebook friends, the FB games are all little more than data-mining traps, and I think you know that I'm not just being paranoid about this.

At any rate, the net result of all of this Facebooking and such is that I have neglected my Whirled for far too long. So far this year, April has indeed been the "cruelest month" for the two or three of you who may have been eagerly awaiting a new blog post. Well, I just can't let this entire calendar month go by in silence (though I realize that for my friends In Other Parts of the World, it is already May and has been for several hours, so double apologies for failing y'all).

Although I have more than a dozen scintillating blog posts in the hopper, I honestly haven't had the brains to finish them. For the time being, you will have to settle for a no-brainer update on some of the "stars" of the planet's most popular New-Wage moviemercial: The Secret. 

As most of you are more than aware, since the release of The Secret, these luminaries have been making a lot of noise about the Law of Attraction and how they have used it to create the life of their dreams. And each one, in his or her own way, has blazed a whole new career path by crowing about how you too can learn to use LOA to create the life of your dreams, if only you will pour your heart, your soul, and the contents of your bank account into the hustledork in question's particular brand. It's all about paying full on... I mean, playing full on. No, I was right the first time.

Although the critical backlash to The Secret has been going on for several years now (and some of us, as I feel compelled to keep repeating, were critics from the very beginning), the franchise still has legions of fans, as do many of the talking heads who starred in it. For every snarky or critical blogger, there are probably dozens if not hundreds of starry-eyed pro-Secret LOA believer-bloggers who are still desperately trying to earn money, or just favorable attention, by kissing up to the Secret stars. 

It took the James Arthur Ray sweat lodge deaths and ensuing arrest and trial to awaken more people to the fact that all that glitters is not gold in Secretville. But many people apparently haven't gotten the memo yet, looking upon the Ray case as a horrid aberration, and seemingly being taken aback when something negative comes out about yet another Secret hero. I was reminded of this again when I participated in a discussion this past week on Facebook. At one point in the discussion, I mentioned the Bob Proctor/Jack Canfield/Michael Beckwith $2,000 Science of Getting Rich (SGR) briefcase scam from a few years ago. Connie Joy, the host of the discussion, used to be a James Ray follower but has since seen the man for what he is, and she is certainly no starry-eyed type. However, she was unfamiliar with the briefcase deal and asked me to 'splain it, so I did.* 

Apparently she had also been unaware of Aussie Secret star David Schirmer's troubles (see below). And evidently some of her other Facebook friends were either similarly unaware of these matters or wanted to believe they were irrelevant. While Ms. Joy herself has been nothing but gracious to me, one participant responded with what has become par for the course in counter-criticism, e.g., we critics are just trying to further our "agenda"; we're trying to sabotage people who are going for their dreams; we're not moving things forward by focusing on negative stuff, and so forth.

I have no doubt that negative information is just going to keep on coming out about the Secret teachers as time goes by, so Secret fans might as well get used to it. They can rag on the critics all they want, they can second-guess our agendas, they can call us haters -- but that's not going to restore the shine to their tarnished heroes. 

For now, here's a summary of some of the more notable accomplishments from those modern-day masters of the art of living who starred in The Secret.

The Death Ray saga continues
James Arthur Ray's criminal trial on three counts of manslaughter is still going on in Yavapai County, Arizona, and is expected to last through June. The defense has tried every trick in the book, including vain requests for a mistrial. When the spirit moves it, CNN/InSession has streaming video of the trial, and several intrepid bloggers and tweeters are on the case, providing updates for the rest of us. I can't keep up with the trial in real time because I don't have cable or satellite TV, and my satellite Internet provider imposes such severe usage caps that I can't watch a lot of video. But I have been availing myself of these rich sources of information and often amusing commentary:

• Salty Droid. His original James Ray trial page, http://saltydroid.info/james-arthur-ray-trial-updates/, is pretty long and cumbersome by now, mainly because there are more than 900 comments on it to date. So Salty has been producing smaller update posts, with the most recent one as of today being here: http://saltydroid.info/james-ray-trial-trials-april-28th/
Other Salty Droid trial update links are currrently in the "Focusing" box on the upper right-hand side of his blog.

Some of the short posts might not make sense to you if you haven't been following the story fairly closely, but I suspect they are serving as trial notes for the time being, and that Salty will flesh them out later. In any case, the comments following his posts are always interesting. This one on the April 28 trial post, from Jean D (29 April 2011 at 2:18 pm), summed up the heart of the case against Ray:

No matter what the defense tries to distract with, this trial is about one thing: What would a reasonable person have done, once he became aware that people were having difficulties during an activity he not only created and promoted,but was directing,and in which he was participating just feet away from the people in distress?
Why did Ray choose not to stop the activity? It had no rules for duration,therefore, it could be ended at any time. But what did Ray do? He chose to keep going.
The structure was not traveling at a high rate of speed. Nor was it flying at a high altitude. It did not require an emergency stop or landing. But what did Ray do? He chose to keep going.

It was not a building in which people were trapped by walls and doors. It would have been very easy to have told participants to lift up the sides and get out, and to remove the tarps so light and oxygen would fill the space, allowing access to the ones in danger. But is that what Ray did? No. He chose to keep going.

James Arthur Ray was a mean,spiteful bully kid who grew up to be a mean, spiteful bully professional con artist. Sociopaths are incapable of resisting their urge to control and hurt others. They lack the moral fiber to put the brakes on their behavior. We can only hope the outcome of the trial will successfully stop this subspecies of human and hold him accountable for ending the lives* of Kirby Brown,James Shore and Liz Neuman.
*remember Colleen Conaway

• LaVaughn's Celestial Reflections blog (http://celestial-reflections.blogspot.com/search/label/Sweat%20Lodge%20Trial): Putting aside the fact that LaVaughn is a self-described "psychic intuitive," I've found her blog posts about the trial to be full of good reporting and excellent insights.

• Connie Joy's Tragedy in Sedona Facebook page (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/TragedyInSedona): You probably have to be a Facebook member and friend to see this page, but if you're on Facebook and you're interested in this case, it's worth your time to make the connection. Ms. Joy wrote a book, Tragedy in Sedona, about her experiences with James Ray.
• Tom McFeeley's blog (http://tommcfeeley.com/tag/james-arthur-ray): Tom is a cousin of Kirby Brown, one of the three people who died as a result of participating in James Ray's 2009 sweat lodge. Read his blog for insight and observations from someone who really has a personal stake in this matter.

On Friday, several tweeters and bloggers who have been following the Ray trial expressed frustration that the one media source that had been providing live trial coverage, CNN, was apparently far more interested in the royal wedding than in the goings-on at the trial. But I suspect the bloggers weren't too surprised. All across the media landscape, even the most serious journalists could scarcely pull themselves away from gushing, cooing, ahhing, ooohing, and nearly wetting themselves over Kate's dress or the special wedding cake or that "true life fairy tale" long enough to even report on the horrendous fatal tornadoes in the South -- to say nothing of devoting precious air time to a mundane criminal trial.

Thank goodness that the bloggers, as usual, were on the job, because the mainstream journos failed us once again.

Meanwhile, back in Oz... David Schirmer, the "car park" and "cheques in the mail" guy in The Secret, is more well-known on this blog for being the Mini-Madoff of Melbourne. I have been writing about him for four years now. As of today, Schirmer is still banned for life from working in the financial trade in Australia, but that hasn't stopped him from continuing with his selfish-help shtick, using both his Secret stardom and Bible-thumping Christianity to build his tainted brand. The comments on Salty Droid's blog about Schirmer's recent activities are particularly interesting (here's a sample: http://saltydroid.info/shuttering-david-schirmer/#comment-59992).

But you just can't keep a good schemer down, and right now Schirmer is seeking an editor for the hustledork magazine he is trying to revive. (I blogged about this rag three years ago in a post that contains one of my fave Photoshopping efforts.) A friend alerted me to a job posting that The David Schirmer Group of Companies recently placed on Linkedin:

Job Description
We are seeking a full time editor for an international publication.

The magazine started in January 2007 and is focused on providing the latest breakthroughs and stories from The Secret Teachers, quantum physics, spiritual understanding and the personal development industry. The first issue set sales records in news stands for being the highest selling new publication.

The Editor must be a personal development advocate and want to go on a amazing journey of personal growth with some of the most incredible minds of the 21st centery [sic]. The magazine has already featured The Secret Teachers Joe Vitale, Marci Shimoff, Bob Proctor, John De Martini and John Assaraf, personal development greats such as Tony Robbins and Depak [sic] Chopra, and buiness [sic] leaders such as Richard Branson.

Company Description
The company is run by two entreprentuers [sic] and highly sucessful [sic] business people with experience in finance, education and multiple business operations. A considerable sum of funds has already been invested by the business owners plus the company now has large investor backing and will re-launch the magazine locally then shortly afterward internationally.

Personal Qualities
A senior editor, to be successful, needs: an excellent grasp of writing and editing;
the ability to handle multiple tasks and projects simultaneously; the ability to work with colleagues, advertisers and readers diplomatically; an understanding of the publishing process; the ability to meet deadlines; the flexibility to find quick solutions to problems; and an awareness of trends.
The right person will be someone with strong Christian ethics and values who is passionate about personal growth and helping others to grow. If your motto is "When the going gets tough, the tough get going!" then you are the person we want. Thumbsuckers need not apply! This position will change your life in every area ... spiritually, mentally, physically, financially and relationships.

Uh-huh. Go to work for Schirmer, and your life may very well be changed. But it's very probable that you won't like the changes. At all.
It will be interesting to see how (or if) Schirmer manages to pull this new project off, especially since all of his companies are being struck off by the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC), as one commenter on Salty Droid's blog reminded us recently. That commenter wrote, "If Schirmer is claiming it is a successful international company then he's back to his usual bulls--t conartist lifestyle again."

On the other hand, another commenter points out that anyone can purchase articles online, throw them together, and call it a "magazine." It's all about the marketing, which in Schirmer's case will include an ability to cover up his past misdeeds to any eager and desperate writers who may be jockeying for the new position.
Anyway, as you can imagine, I will not be applying for the editorial job.
 
Scientist Bob is on the job!
I've blogged about Bob Proctor numerous times, focusing on his work and his more inane public utterances, and there are so many of the latter to choose from. There are other matters, too, that I haven't covered in depth, or at all. For example, there have been rumors that the Proctor empire is crumbling, and there is also some private smarmy stuff that I'm (still) not at liberty to blog about. But even if the smarmy stuff never comes to light, we'll always have the SGR Briefcase Scam, and the Boner Repositioning System.
Since the Death Lodge story broke, Scientist Bob has also gained attention for having been a mentor to James Ray. A recent article from the Arizona Republic noted:

Bob Proctor, a personal-development teacher who has been a mentor and friend to Ray, says it's standard practice in the business to cobble together teachings from all over. "If it works, try it," he said. While Ray drew on disciplines from physics to psychology to mold together his own approach, Proctor said that the bulk of Ray's teachings focus on "understanding how your mind functions, on how to improve your quality of life - pretty basic stuff."
As for Ray, "he's a good guy, and he's helped lots of people," he said...

...Whatever the cause of [the sweat lodge participants'] death, Proctor, Ray's mentor, cites the Law of Attraction. "He has attracted this; why I don't know. There's a great lesson in it for him, whether he learns it or not," Proctor said. "Since the trial started, I've talked with him by text message, and he's asking himself some very serious questions."

Well, golly, Death Ray is asking himself some serious questions! This changes everything. I take back every negative word I've ever written about him.** At any rate, whatever happens in the months to come, we can count on Scientist Bob Proctor to say something fairly stupid about it. 

Moral bankruptcy isn't the only problem... John Asshat Assaraf, the Secret star whom some folks used to confuse with James Ray until the latter started killing people, currently calls himself The Spiritual Entrepreneur. He's all about the abundance, don't you know, and he's most famous in Secretville for having moved into the big mansion that he'd pasted on his vision board several years earlier.
But it seems that his famous OneCoach flopportunity, which was supposed to help scads of other folks get as rich and happy as he is, is...well...bankrupt. Look at some of the comments on this blog post: http://www.johnassaraf.com/my-life/check-out-the-onecoach-blog/

Update, 9 May 2011: Oops. That link above? It's a big 404 now. Somebody wiped it away. I have a feeling we haven't seen the end of it, though.)
If the rumors of bankruptcy are true, perhaps the problem is that Assaraf became so focused on that big mansion that he neglected other aspects of his business. And maybe he also got a bit hooked on the accolades from giddy wannabes. If you follow the link in the first sentence of this paragraph you'll see a YouTube video by an awestruck admirer, whose unseen female companion just couldn't stop giggling in the presence of such greatness as Assaraf took the two of them on a tour of his opulent digs. 

An aerial shot of the famous house can be seen on this blog post: http://saltydroid.info/just-like-my-party/
I think it is also worth a reminder here that Assaraf partners with Utah boiler room Prosper Inc. http://www.prospercorp.com/partners/john-assaraf.php
Here’s the blurb from Assaraf’s Prosper page, obviously written in better days:

His newest business venture and passion is OneCoach, a company dedicated to helping small business owners and entrepreneurs grow their businesses so they can live extraordinary lives

Prosper, no doubt taking its copy straight from Assaraf’s own promo material, also describes Assaraf as having a "unique passion for brain research and quantum physics" – overlooking the fact that these two descriptors are anything but unique among New-Wage hustledorks. They’re ALL into (cherry-picked) brain research and (fake) quantum physics. Yawn.
As you may know, Prosper is one of numerous boiler-room businesses that happen to be clustered in the business-friendly state of Utah, and apparently have a cozy relationship with Utah’s dodgy Attorney General, Mark Shurtleff. (Once again, Salty Droid was on this one: http://saltydroid.info/mark-shurtleff-attorney-general-of-mlm)

"It Byrnes! It Byrnes us!"
Secret creator Rhonda Byrne is still in hiding for the most part, as she more or less has been since the backlash against The Secret began a few years ago. The various Secret-related lawsuits may have been a factor in her publicity shyness as well. 

As many of you may know, Rhonda's law firm was the same one chosen by James Ray for the Death Lodge defense. Rhonda even thanked the firm at the beginning of The Power. Salty did a nice little photocomp about it: http://saltydroid.info/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/James-Ray-Rhonda-Byrne-Munger-Tolles.jpg

Rhonda apparently did not go on tour for her new book, The Power, but that did not stop it from ranking high on Amazon, even today, more than six months after its release. Sometimes Amazon rankings are...well...rank. Here are recent figures for The Power:

Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #357 in Books

• #4 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > New Age > New Thought
• #7 in Books > Religion & Spirituality > Occult
• #20 in Books > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > Personal Transformation

It was on Amazon's review/discussion pages for The Power that I first "met" my new friend Kathryn Price (who recently has been giving Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale a run for his money on his blog). The discussion resulting from Kathryn's September 2010 one-star review of The Power has generated nearly 600 responses so far. 

The Power currently enjoys a four-and-a-half-star average rating, which means that by far the majority are glowing five-star reviews. She may be in hiding, but Rhonda still has a lot of fans and die-hard LOA believers.
But here's a link to the one-star reviews.

Miscellaneous other players... This isn't new news, but it's for the benefit of those who are unaware of some of the other Secret star shenanigans. 

Bill Harris, inventor of the pricey Holosync frauduct and ex-bidness partner of James Ray, threatened to sue a critical blogger, Duff McDuffee. http://saltydroid.info/silencing-of-the-lambs/

Marie Diamond, feng shui expert extraordinaire, was involved in a lawsuit a while back: http://www.amazon.com/Against-Vyncke-Diamond-Happiness-Productions/dp/1442172509

As I said on the aforementioned Facebook discussion, I could go on and on with examples of bad behavior from players in The Secret. To me it seemed obvious from the beginning that The Secret was just a big money grab that glorified greed, materialism, and over-sized egos. But many people still don't want to see it that way. In the end, it seems that rather than hear unpleasant truths about tornadoes and trials, they would rather just embrace the fairy tale. 

* The discussion in question is on Connie Joy's Tragedy in Sedona Facebook page, although you will probably not be able to see it if you are not on FB and a "friend" of Tragedy in Sedona. For the benefit of those who don't know about the SGR $2,000 briefcase scheme, my explanation is at April 26 at 4:58pm. Or, since I have blogged about this several times, just Google "SGR briefcase Whirled Musings." (Blogger's search results suck on these older templates, so Google is a better bet.)
** Yes, that was sarcasm.

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What's next? Access death panels?

I thought I was finished for the time being with my "celebration" of Access Consciousness, that wacko sex-and-money scam for the new "Me" generation, but then I came across another blog post from California Access fasillytator Dr. Kacie Crisp. I don't mean to be picking on Dr. Crisp, but she's on my radar as someone who is very close to Access founder Gary Douglas, the former b.f.f. of Grigori Rasputin. Dr. Crisp has frequently done radio interviews with Gary and seems to be one of his most faithful champions. And she just keeps on writing stuff that reflects Accessories' characteristic (though hardly unique) New-Wage selfishness and narcissism. In a recent blog post about grief and loss, Dr. Crisp wrote:

...A high school friend of mine told me she felt sorry for me because both of my parents passed away when I was a young adult–I was 26 when my mother passed away, and 32 when my father passed away. This pity was especially surprising to me since her own father died in the summer between our junior and senior years of high school, and her mother, though still alive, was one of the stingiest meanest most judgmental and negative people I ever met. Yes, she was still alive if you call that living!

My husband David and I are often grateful that our parents chose to leave when they did, because we see so many people our age whose lives are limited and burdened by caring for aging parents, often for years and years and years, and at the expense of creating their own lives.

Being “orphaned” at a relatively young age had the effect for me of adding to my life. There was no inheritence [sic] to wait for, no one’s approval to gain. It was viscerally clear to me from the time my parents died that what I have in life, I create. This created a tremendous sense of freedom in my life, and the motivation to go for whatever I desired. I have created a life that’s pretty amazing so far, and how much better can it get?

By the way, Kacie's hubby David is the son of Eileen and Peter Caddy, founders of the Findhorn Community in Scotland. Eileen died at Findhorn in 2006 at the age of 89, and Peter, who left Findhorn in 1979, died in a car crash in Germany in 1994 at the age of 77. It was right nice of both of them not to inconvenience their son.

Several things strike me about that segment of Kacie's blog post. The first one is that while Access is supposed to be all about removing all "judgment" from one's life, Dr. Crisp appears to be snorting a big line of the j-drug in that first quoted paragraph regarding her friend's stingy, mean, judgmental mom. The second thing that struck me is Dr. Crisp's casual acceptance of the Access credo, which actually seems to be quite common among New-Wage believers, that everything in one's life is a conscious choice, including one's time and mode of death. (The story goes that we choose our parents and our entire life situation too; we do all that between lives.) In other words, Dr. Crisp's parents as well as her husband David's folks chose to die when and how they did. Jeez, wouldn't James Ray's defense lawyers for his manslaughter trial love to have a jury composed of Accessories? If Kirby Brown, James Shore, and Liz Neuman chose to die when they did, that would totally let Death Ray off the hook.

As it happens, I'm an orphan too, but I don't feel nearly so free and giddy about it as Kacie and David apparently do. I feel more as if I'm adrift in the Universe, especially since I don't have kids of my own. Sometimes it's more a feeling of loneliness than freedom. I lost my dad when I was a teenager; I worked that story into this long blog post (if you don't want to read the whole thing, scroll down to "When the rich are (in)different"). I lost my mom much more recently; she died three days after Christmas 2007, and though it's been more than three years now I still haven't been able to write very much at all about her. I can post long eulogies for departed dogs and cats, but a mom...well, that's a bit more complicated. Suffice to say that my siblings and I did indeed suffer numerous emotional and financial crises in our mother's final years -- I suppose Kacie or other Accessories would say we were limited and burdened.

But somehow we can't work up any resentment at our mother for not choosing to get out of the way earlier so we could get on with our own lives. And it's hard for us to believe that our dad deliberately chose to get plowed down by a drunk driver when he was walking down a street early one morning years ago, when all three of his children were still young and living at home. Was his life with us really so awful that he wanted to bug out?

Relationships are complicated and are often as frustrating as they are rewarding. But to Accessories, it seems that all relationships are burdens, whether they're with spouses or those bothersome creatures called parents, especially old parents. Anything that doesn't make one feel all "light" and giggly and giddy is something to be shed of. I wonder who is going to care for Dr. Crisp in her dotage, or if she'll "choose" an early departure so as not to be a burden. And I wonder, as I often do when New-Wagers brag about how amazing their lives are, just how amazing Kacie's really is. I imagine there's much more to her story that she's not telling. But in my view she has told enough, just in those few paragraphs on her blog, to make me think that there are times when Access and similar New-Wage scams are not merely silly, but profoundly disturbing.

PS ~ For those of you who have elderly loved ones in your life and are not enlightened enough to feel right about abandoning them, Dale Carter's TransitionAgingParents.com site might be a helpful resource.

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The movie ACCESS doesn't want you to see

click on pic for enlargement

It's a busy Monday for your hostess, Dear Ones, so I don't really have as much time as I would like to have to conclude my celebration of Access Consciousness' four-day adventure in the Bayou City of Houston, Texas, USA. Today is the last day of the cultish sex-and-money org's constellation of events at Houston's Hotel Indigo. I began my Whirled celebration on Friday, and continued it on Saturday (with a PS added on Sunday).

And though I really do have so much more to write, Real Work intrudes. Don't cry for me; it's an intrusion I always welcome. But I did want to share news of an upcoming movie with you. It's the true tail of the magick that ensues when a failed-real-estate-broker-and-antiques-dealer-turned-channeler-and-con-artist adopts a failed chiropractor who is on the verge of suicide. In the years that follow, the chiro helps drag the old con man's shtick to giddy new levels of smarm and sleaze worldwide success, becoming a sex star in his own write. Yet Smarmaduke's story is not without its moments of poignancy, such as his failed effort to get a show on Oprah's network, or his total inability to maintain a MySpace page (he started one here and here but apparently got sidetracked. At least there's a profile pic in the second link; judging from the background, it looks as if was snapped at an Access workshop, but of course I could be wrong).

The movie is not rated.

The Access events wrap up today in my former fair city, but the old con artist will be back June 18-20, 2011 with an Advanced Body Class. Meanwhile, there's bound to be an Access workshop coming soon to a venue near you. Prices vary, but remember, kids under 16 always fly free. Whoopee!

More later, when I have more time.

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ACCESS: Right bawdy for you

Today, Dear Ones, we continue what we began yesterday: the four-day-long celebration of Access and The City – The City being my former hometown of Houston, Texas USA. While the Accessories continue reaching new levels of Accessorydom (Accessorydumb?) in a little conference room at the Hotel Indigo in Houston's elegant but traffic-infested Uptown area, I'll share a few little snippets and tidbits that have come across my e-desk recently.

Ever since I began writing about Access in 2007, I have been hearing from people who have serious issues with this cult-like sex-and-money organization. Here's one early post in which I share some of these people's thoughts. I still hear regularly from folks who are grateful to see some information about Access that hasn't been generated by Access itself or an Access member.

The truth is that even after more than 20 years, Access hasn't reached critical mass yet to even be a blip on the radar of most critics and watchers of cults and cult-like orgs; why, there's still no Access discussion on the Rick Ross Forum. And there's little objective information; Access was apparently not even deemed worthy of Wikipedia, though this old and now-outdated article remains in WikiP's rejected-articles archives. Now and again one runs across a critical discussion of Access, such as this one, initiated in 2009, but these discussions are still pretty rare.

So I suppose that for the time being, my little Whirled in this dark little corner of the blogosphere will have to suffice to provide aid and comfort to (1) people who are worried about their loved ones being swallowed up in Access' increasingly greedy/horny maw; (2) ex-Accessories who wonder WTF they were THINKING; and (3) long-time observers of Access who wonder why so many supposedly intelligent adults are still getting sucked up in this pale imitation of Scientology.

Apropos of the latter, it has been reported in various places, including here on this very blog, that Gary Douglas is a former Scientologist. Although Gary did not mention Scientology in the now-suppressed "official" story of how he and the late "Mad Monk" of Russia, Rasputin, got to be good buds, it does seem that Access, like so many other New-Wage scams, was inspired at least in part by Scientology. There's no denying that Access continues to promote beliefs and practices that rival Scientology in their wackiness. 

One person recently wrote to me about hanging around Access founder Gary Douglas back in the day when Gary was channeling Rasputin, or Raz, as Gary used to fondly call the deceased Russian charlatan. Even though a mere high school student at the time, my correspondent detected that the channeling act was utter crap. One of the things that gave it away was Gary's bad Russian accent, which sounded to my correspondent like that of a Bond villain in the movies. (The fact that Raz didn't speak English when he was alive was suspicious to him too; then again, maybe they have ESL classes in the Afterlife.)

If only Gary's adult followers then and now had been as astute as that teenager, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation today. My correspondent, who was around as Gary made the career transition from real estate and antiques to channeling and con artistry, also knows someone close to Gary who has become quite the Access ripoff artist herself. As seems to be the case with many Accessories, this woman was particularly attracted to the free-love aspect of Access, and insisted that the power of Access would prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. My correspondent said the woman told him that there is a purpose for having multiple sexual partners; it has to do with gathering sexual energy in order to reach a point where one has a "tree of energy" growing out of one's head. But this tree is only visible to higher level humanoids, who are, of course, far more advanced than mere humans.

I recently heard from another person who strongly believes his marriage is breaking up because of the influence of Access. Of course there is more than one side to this story, and I've only heard his side. But his tale is so similar to so many others I've heard, such as this one. All I can say is that if you're in an intimate relationship and your spouse, spousal equivalent, significant other -- or whatever you want to call him/her -- gets involved in Access, be prepared for your relationship to change in unexpected ways. You may not like it.

Someone else sent me a link to a radio show, one of many recorded exchanges between Gary Douglas and California Access facilitator Dr. Kacie Crisp. This show, recorded on January 19, 2011, mostly centered around Access' Right Body For You course. Among the highlights, Gary talked about a lady in Utah who shrunk from size 18 to size 6 after taking his body class, and another who went from 400 pounds to 220. Gary claimed that by listening to his body and playing Frisbee for one hour he went from a size 38 to size 36 waist, which he said isn't supposed to be possible. Humm....Frisbee... I wonder if that's a code. Gary also said that his body told him to drink (and eat, apparently) nothing but lemon juice and sugar, and after eight weeks, amazingly, the fat had melted off. "Seriously," wrote the friend who sent me the link, "that's like saying I entered Buchenwald and by some miracle...." 

The show goes on for about an hour, ending with the real come-on in which Gary says that "amazingly beautiful" women are flocking to Access. But, he notes, there haven't been that many guys, so Access is an opportunity for a few lucky guys to be the magnet they've always wanted to be [see PS below]. My friend had listened to the original and said it ended with some brief chatter about Gary sending sexually inappropriate content to Dr. Kacie, but that doesn't seem to be in the recording I heard, which is just as well because frankly, I don't want to think about it. (Besides, the whole concept of "inappropriate" seems inconsistent with Access' freewheeling anything-goes philosophy. "Inappropriate" is so judgmental, after all.) Anyhow, here's the link.

And here's something entertainingly creepy: an invitation from Steve "Magic Eyelids" Comer to participate in an Access Body Class. As with most Access classes, kids 16 and under can get in for free; ages 16-18 get in for half price. The rest of you will have to cough up $950, unless you want to take an Advanced Body Class facilitated by Gary Douglas, which will teach you "a unique set of new body processes that have been created in order to give your body a chance to go beyond the limitations of this reality," and will set you back $1350. Gary is going to be coming back to Houston to do that one on June 18, 2011, at a location to be announced.

Finally, here's an interesting comment that appears on the discussion forum I linked to above. The comment seems to be identical to one I recently declined to publish on my blog because I could not substantiate some of the more eye-raising points. But you're certainly welcome to read it and do further research yourself, if you wish. If nothing else, it adds a new level of meaning to Gary's teasing little invite to guys to join Access and become a "magnet." 

How does it get any sillier or creepier than this? I'm sure the Accessories will let us know.

PS added Sunday, March 6: For the benefit of those who haven't viewed this gem of a video yet, here are a couple of lovely examples of Accessory women, Rikka and Summer, who ganged up on a hapless young male and uploaded the results in October of 2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwbbf5mmUoY

(Those weird hand gestures of Rikka's must be some of that top-seekrit hypnotic stuffs they teach you in Access.) And gals, don't feel left out. If you don't want some of that older man-love -- if Gary D leaves you cold -- Access has some younger bait for you too. Not only is there Steve "Hypnotic Eyelids" Comer (linked to above, but here's another one), but there's Gary's main sidekick, Dr. Dain Heer, aka The Bawdy Whisperer. And as I write this, it's not too late to make plans to attend Dr. Dain Heer's Energetic Synthesis of Being Taster Open Evening and Energetic Synthesis of Being Taster, both of which will also be at the Hotel Indigo. Your guess is as good as mine about what ESSB actually is; the description isn't very specific. But hey, it's only $275 for both events, and you'll get to be in the presence of that Dain Heer sexual magnetism. And remember, kids 16 and under fly free!

* * * * *

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Warning: Accessories on the loose in Houston!

Dear Ones, it is an exciting time for my former home town, the Bayou City of Houston, Texas, USA. Sex-and-money cult Access Consciousness is holding a Levels 2&3 class March 4-7 (it started this morning) at the Hotel Indigo* in Houston's posh Galleria/Uptown area. The class is being facilitated by Access founder Gary Douglas, who first got the scoop on Access via the late Russian madman Rasputin (here are the details), and who is, among many other things, a sex expert who shares seekrit wisdom about things such as "the seven fountains of orgasm." (Well, what would you expect from the founder of a sex cult?)

Here are the details about the Houston class: http://www.accessconsciousness.com/class_details.asp?cid=10212

When watching a video preview of the venue on YouTube, however, I noticed that the space in which the class is to be held is just a conference room rather than a large ballroom/meeting room. Perhaps they aren't expecting a very large attendance. Or maybe they just want to keep the atmosphere intimate. (A friend suggested that they probably couldn't hold the event anywhere near the kitchen because of the potential damage to the spoons; Accessories are notorious spoon and fork benders.)

In any case, here is that video preview of the venue, complete with gushing narration that sounds very close to baby talk. Golly, gee, look at the sunshine! Look at the light coming through the window! Look at the little private alcove! Goodness gracious, how does it get any better than this?

I'm sorry to tell you, though, that you won't be able to attend the Levels 2&3 class unless you have already attended some lower-level Access classes. The prerequisites are listed in the link in the second paragraph.

If you qualify, however, it's probably not too late to sign up for the Levels 2&3 class. It's only $1,800, unless you have taken the course within the past 12 months, in which case it is only $900. But you should know that, as is the case with most LGAT and selfish-help/New-Wage/McSpirituality events these days, if you attend you totally give up your right to privacy, and numerous other rights as well. Among other things, you have to sign an Audio/Video Release:

I acknowledge that Access Consciousness LLC may make video and/or audio recordings of the class, in which I will be a participant.

I hereby grant Access Consciousness LLC the right to use such video and/or audio recordings of my name, likeness and voice in any and all forms of media, now or hereinafter created, and in perpetuity, including, but not limited to, composite or edited forms, for Access Consciousness LLC, to distribute, sell and use in any manner, as Access Consciousness LLC may determine in its sole and absolute discretion. I hereby waive the right to inspect or approve any version(s), including the finished version(s), of such recordings, including written copy that may be created in connection therewith.

I have read this Release, fully understand its terms and understand that I may be giving up substantial rights, including my right to sue, and any and all rights to fees or compensation from the distribution, sale or use by Access Consciousness LLC or by its affiliates, subsidiaries, successors and assigns for any and all purposes.

I acknowledge that I am agreeing this Release freely and voluntarily and intend by my on-line registration at www.accessconsciousness.com for the Release to be a complete and unconditional release from and against all liability of Access Consciousness LLC to the greatest extent allowed by law.

Kind of like a James Arthur Ray event, except you probably won't die.

Now, if you can't make it to Houston, the class is being streamed live at numerous venues throughout the world. You still have to pay either $1,800 or $900 to watch it, but at least you won't have to fight Houston Galleria traffic, which is a nightmare.

By the way, because Access wants to start 'em young, kids 15 and under can get in for free, and ages 16-18 can get in for half price. But it might not be a very good idea to get your teens involved, especially if they're boys. Accessories are very randy people and...well, never mind. Just keep your kids away, okay?

I'll have more about Access over the weekend, all in the service of celebrating the presence of Accessories gone wild in the city I know and love. Meanwhile, if you're going to be in the Galleria area, why not pop into the Hotel Indigo and see if you can catch up to some Accessories? I might even be there myself. If you see a blue humanoid gal, come on up and say hello. I promise I won't try to lay any Bars on you or anything like that.

Related posts:

• How Accessories know that they're a more advanced species than the rest of us: ACCESS asks: Are you humanoid, or merely human?
• How Accessories plan to clean up ocean pollution with just their mighty minds (if only they can get hold of a boat): A little motion on the ocean
• How Access can destroy marriages (Sorry, but this one isn't as funny as most of my Access posts, though it does have a pretty picture): ACCESS: The incredible lightness of boinking

PS ~ If you want to see all of the other posts I've written about Access -- and there have been quite a few since I first wrote about it in 2007 (back when it was called Access Energy Transformation) -- you'll get more results by Googling "Access Whirled Musings" than by following one of the tags on this blog.
PPS ~ Since Access is now delivered in more than 25 countries, it may be coming soon to a city near you. Here's the 2011 schedule: http://www.accessconsciousness.com/schedule.asp

* I wonder if the Accessories chose the Hotel Indigo for the spiritual connotations of the name.

James Ray: what a difference four years make

On my previous post, I quoted briefly from a February 2007 post that Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale wrote on his old blog, Beyond Marketing. He was defending the runaway bestselling New-Wage moviemercial The Secret against what he apparently saw as the first real wave of criticism of its teachings. At the end of his post he wrote:

TIP: Most people who criticize The Secret are doing so because they want it to work but can't seem to make it work. One of the biggest reasons The Secret doesn't instantly work for someone is due to lack of forgiveness. An entire culture can experience this. But it can be changed with one person forgiving. Namely you....And dare something worthy, that will inspire yourself and others, rather than raining on a parade that could heal millions. Don't be seduced by the dark side. Go toward the light.

And toward the [fake] light the millions streamed, and many were blinded. Some are still blind.

What struck me more than Joe's blog post itself was the fact that several of the commenters, also Secret apologists, used the performance of one James Arthur Ray on various talk shows as an admirable example of how to deal with critics of The Secret and the Law of Attraction. Oh, those were the days, my friend, when James Ray and all of the Secret "teachers" were riding high on accolades and attention and their own seriously bloated egos. Most of them were already pretty successful at parting marks from their money, which was why Rhonda Byrne chose them to be part of her project in the first place. But The Secret propelled them to new levels of fame, and they raised their prices accordingly. James Ray, of course, was one of those who profited handsomely from that ol' Secret black magic.

In my own blog post yesterday, I linked to one comment to Joe's piece that particularly stuck out for me, though I didn't quote it on my post. But I'll do so now to save you from having to go back searching through links. A woman named Vicki Kunkel, a self-described "nationally-recognized expert in mass appeal," wrote, in part:

...I witnessed a rather hilarious segment on The Today Show where James Ray was defending The Secret, and two nay-sayers were vehemently spouting their disapproval. James was smiling, calm, composed, relaxed. In a word, peaceful. The one opponent -- although slim and good looking -- appeared tense, uncomfortable and ill-at-ease. The other was sweating profusely and seemed on the verge of a heart attack because he was so out of shape. (If ever anyone could benefit from some self-help, this guy was a good case.)

Hmmm...quite a disparity there. I couldn't help chuckling at how well the nay-sayers unwittingly advocated the validity of "The Secret" through their tense body language and demeanor.

Well, four years have passed since those heady days of Secret mania, and between then and now some pretty bad things happened with various Secret stars, one of the worst of which was James Ray's Death Lodge in October 2009. You know what they say about hindsight, although my personal opinion is that some of the people who spent so much time and energy defending The Secret and hailing James Ray were always practicing a type of hindsight, in that they had their heads up their a$$es. How many of the folks who vehemently defended Ray back then feel the same way, now that he is finally on trial for three counts of reckless manslaughter?

In any case, we shall see in the weeks and months to come how James Ray's demeanor holds up. Will he be "smiling, calm, composed, relaxed...peaceful?"

I'm not going to be attending the trial at Camp Verde, Arizona, which is expected to last four months. I won't be able to watch the whole thing on TV either (it will be televised live on In Session), but I will be checking back frequently on various spots, including Salty Droid's James Ray Trial Update page, for blow-by-blow accounts. Here's the link: http://saltydroid.info/james-arthur-ray-trial-updates/

There's also a link in the left-hand sidebar, right under my Twitter link, so it will be continually visible on the opening page of this blog for as long as the trial lasts.

I'm hoping the mainstream media will give this story the attention it deserves. Dan Harris at ABC is off to a good start, as Salty Droid noted, in his own eloquent way, on a related post about the beginning of the trial: http://saltydroid.info/get-set-go/

On that post, Salty embedded the video of Dan's Good Morning America segment from this morning. Here's another link to that video, which Dan shared on his Twitter page: http://t.co/zBiJYqO. The page to which Dan linked also contains the code for embedding the video on your own site, but I suck at embedding so I think I'll leave it alone, and you can watch it on Salty's site or the one Dan shared. But do watch it, if you haven't already, because it shows photos from the 2008 sweat lodge that the jurors are not going to be allowed to see.

So ABC is off to a good start, and judging from some correspondence I've been having with a producer at another major broadcast network, that network may also be pulling its weight for this story. I hope so. And good for In Session for their decision to televise the trial. As Salty Droid wrote on his James Ray Trial Updates page:

In the final week before the trial :: Judge Darrow agreed to a request for live television coverage. Ray shouldn’t be too nervous :: he’s been on television before …

Perhaps some of the chat shows will even pick up on this story...hey, maybe the ladies on ABC's The View will give it a whirl. I'm guessing Oprah won't be saying much about it, though.

As I remarked on Twitter earlier, March is blowing in like a lyin'...sociopath. I hope that some justice for the victims and their families and other loved ones blows in with it. I guess we'll know for sure by July, if not sooner.

PS ~ I apologize for using a graphic I'd already used on a previous post, but I figured, what the heck. In searching Google images for "James Ray trial," my little composite was the first result. Go figure. So I decided to borrow from myself.

Related posts on this Whirled:

• Sunset over Sedona
• Musings on a tragedy and its meanings
• Another moment of silence

Talkin' 'bout my (re)generation

It's hard to believe that it has been three whole years since Ron and I made the Big Move from city life to country life -- from Houston to The Edge of Nowhere, Texas. (You can read about the transition, if you care to do so, here and here and here.) There are only a few things I really miss about the big city, most notably, the proximity of diverse restaurants, particularly Asian, and real supermarkets. But all of that stuff is still within fairly easy driving distance. And fortunately we don't suffer from the absence of our Houston friends, because they love coming out to see us at The Ranch.

Still, country life isn't perfect. One of the things sorely lacking out here is the selection of wackadoodle freebie New-Wage rags that, in larger urban areas, can be found in the free-publication bins at cafes, bookstores, and a number of other retail outlets.* This lack is actually a little surprising, since there are New-Wage healers and centers even way out here in the boonies.

Dorothea Cangelosi, formerly of the Yellow Brick Road Healing and Learning Center in Houston, is one such New-Wager whose presence out here I recently discovered. Years ago, Ron and I wrote a brief piece about her and her center for a now-defunct online city guide. Back then she was in Houston's trendy Inner-Loop area, but the Yellow Brick Road apparently led her to The Land of Oz Wellness Ranch in our rural neighborhood, where Dorothea offers everything from crystal bowl meditations to various sorts of healing to labyrinth walks to firewalks to...yikes...sweat lodge ceremonies. There's even an Angel Landing Strip, but I guess you have to have reached a certain state of initiation or enlightenment in order to read the information about it; all I know is that it looks like a blank page to me. I'll give Dorothea a pass, though, because she is also apparently a rescuer of unwanted animals, a cause dear to my heart.

Despite the proximity of The Land of Oz Wellness Ranch, our local newsstands here in the sticks don't reflect any sort of New-Wage influence. We have plenty of free publications, of course, but there's nary a metaphysical magazine or newspaper to be found. So when Ron and I traveled into Houston recently and had lunch with our friend Michael at one of our fave Inner-Loop restaurants, I eagerly grabbed a couple of New-Wage periodicals on the way out, hoping to see what was new in the Bayou City's conspicuously enlightened community.

Not much was new, as it turned out. The mags were the same monochromatic creations I remembered from way back when (one was printed in teal, the other in dark blue), produced as they have been for many years on cheap paper and cluttered, as they have also been for many years, with prosaic, sometimes amateurish ads for intuitive healers, life coaches, psychics and psychic fairs, spiritual "counselors," angel therapists, clairvoyants, animal communicators, Reiki practitioners, Goddess gatherings, massage therapists, naturopathic docs... well, you get the drift. They have actually changed very little from the publications that inspired my BLP (book-like product), Cosmic Relief, more than fifteen years ago. Oh, there were a few new modalities** added to the mix, including something called Nu-Reiki, but if I hadn't seen the dates on the publications I would have feared I had been zapped back to 1991.

I was almost disappointed to discover that H-Town's metaphysical mags hadn't progressed to the point where they were slick four-color publications such as Austin All Natural, which, though oozing with the same types of offerings from New-Wage dilettantes, at least is gorgeous to look at.
Nevertheless something did catch my eye as I was thumbing through one of the Houston publications. It was a half-page ad whose headline read:

ORGAN REGENERATION WORKSHOP -- REGROW LIFE!

In the center of the ad was a barely readable 2002 graphic titled "USA National Patient Waiting List Statistics," which depicted a sort of Visible Man figure showing various bodily organs and the number of desperately ill Americans waiting for transplants. In the year 2000, according to the graphic, 5,794 people died because they did not receive transplants in time. (More current US stats can be found here.)

But now comes some astonishing news: Those desperately ill patients no longer have to wait for medical science to save them. They can simply grow their own new organs as needed. And if this means what I think it means, amputees will no longer be obliged to struggle with expensive and clumsy prosthetics. Now they can take matters into their own hands, and if they don't have hands, well, by golly, they can simply grow them. Indeed, it seems anything is possible, and the even more astonishing news is that those possibilities are not just limited to bodily parts.

"What would you like to change?" asked the ad copy for the Organ Regeneration Workshop, and followed with a bulleted list of choices:

• hair
• teeth
• height
• skin pigment
• organs
• better home
• better car
• better relationships
• happier family
• eyes
• weight
• bones
• strength
• systems
• cells
• more $$$

The copy continued:

As Ann Graydon indicated, "I don't know if my artificial eye will transform into a seeing eye but so far my eye and the muscles around it are shifting and moving in ways never before and both eyes are equally located in the center of the sockets and at the same depth, which has not been the case before we arrived at the workshop. I am happy with what has transpired so far and am fine even if nothing else happens and yet I am open for more to transform."

The ad did not reveal who Ann Graydon is, but the implication seemed to be that she had her artificial-eye breakthrough as a result of soaking up the wisdom of the person who will be delivering the Organ Regeneration Workshop: one "Dr. Vetter," whose first name was not mentioned in the ad. But there was a web site link, which I followed, after which I did some additional Googling, and it wasn't difficult to find out more about Ann Graydon and, more importantly, Dr. Vetter.

One of the first things I discovered was that the quotation in Vetter's ad was from an account Ann Graydon had shared during an organ re-growth seminar held in Thailand last year. I think this is the seminar in question, and if so, it's an ongoing monthly affair in which participants are taught not only Organ Regeneration but many other amazing skills as well, e.g., "Changing of Events, Changing of the Past," "Norming of health and control of events with Geometric Shapes," "the energetic cleansing of rooms," and much, much more.

My information search also led me to Wendy Down, whom I mentioned in passing in my previous post. Wendy is very busy not only with her "Youthening" schemes but also with Organ Regrowth and Regeneration, all of which you can read more about on this post and on the rest of her blog. Anyway, it seems Wendy had attended the Thailand seminar Vetter mentioned, and she's the one who spoke to Ann about her eye miracle. "Dr. Vetter," aka "Houston Vetter," aka "Doc Houston," was apparently just trying to grab a little of that glass-eye glory to promote his own upcoming workshop.

Doc Houston also calls himself "Doc Results" and has a web site around the latter handle. As is the case with Wendy Down, his Organ Regeneration shtick is derived, at least in part, from something called "Russian New Knowledge" or "New Knowledge for the New Age."

The fact that it is Russian should come as no surprise to those of you who have been on my Whirled for a while; as I've noted before, those Russians are always up to something cutting-edge. And it seems there's a venerable history, as well as a wealth of scientifical and McSpiritual research, behind organ regrowth and regeneration. As Doc Houston/Results 'splains on one of his blog posts about his upcoming workshop:

Since the 1980s there has [sic] been many mentions of organ regeneration in the channeling of such entities as Kryon, Ramtha, Abraham, Saint Germain and others, as something to be expected. In the early 1990’s some Russian “spiritual-scientists” began work on regenerating or replacing organs and teeth. Initially with electronic devices then, more lately through changes in consciousness with proven results. This workshop combines and builds upon the techniques made available to provide flexible “tools” for the healer to use and to teach to others.

Wow... Ramtha! Abraham! If some of the leading lights in the Imaginary Friends industry say Organ Regeneration is legit, can there be any doubt? (I wonder if the famous dead Russian Rasputin whispered anything about Organ Regeneration to Access founder Gary Douglas back when the two of them were tight.)

The DocResults web site features several stirring videos about the regeneration of organs, mostly centered around the work of Russian "scientist" Arcady Petrov, who has been at the forefront of research about these matters. Doc Houston may very well be in on the ground floor with the Petrov craze, at least in the English-speaking world; currently it appears that most of the online info about Petrov is in Russian or German. But here's a small snippet of information about Petrov and fellow researcher Igor Arepjev; scroll down to "Russians can regenerate organs and teeth -- The eternal fountain of youth" etc. And on yet another site, this one sponsored by a woman who claims to be "a neurologist, homeopath, and clairvoyant," we're told that the Russian healers "are known for their effective, practical methods of clairvoyance and healing, including regeneration of whole organs, such as gallbladder, uterus, fingers and even teeth." All righty, then!

The idea of using top-seekrit methods to regenerate organs and cure diseases is not confined to Russian quacks, of course. To name just one other example among thousands, Michael Beckwith famously claimed in The Secret, "I've seen kidneys regenerated. I've seen cancer dissolved. I've seen eye sight improve and come back." The clear implication there is that people who regenerate kidneys, dissolve cancer, and improve their eyesight are practicing the Law of Attraction, as taught in The Secret.

As it happens, regeneration does occur in nature, even among beings that presumably have never watched The Secret and have never attended a Doc Houston Organ Regeneration workshop. Planaria (flatworms, so beloved by the late Dutch graphic artist MC Escher) can be sliced in two and will regenerate into two separate individuals, which is nice to know, although I am not so sure I would want to hang around people who make it a habit to go around slicing up flatworms. Some species of fish can regenerate injured hearts, and starfish can regrow lost limbs. Salamanders can regrow limbs as well, and many lizards regrow missing tails.

Moving a little higher up on the evolutionary scale, mammals, particularly adult mammals, generally don't fare so well in the regeneration game -- maybe they just have a negative attitude -- although a strain of mouse known as Murphy Roths Large, or MRL, was discovered some years back to have remarkable tissue regeneration abilities. The MRL mouse is now being studied, as are other species that exhibit regeneration, to see if the processes can be duplicated in humans.

Humans do have limited regenerative capacities; the human heart, liver, and kidney have been known to regenerate, (the liver seems to have the most remarkable regenerative abilities). Brain tissue can be regenerated too. Research about these processes is ongoing and shows some promise for future applications, though I imagine it's a tricky area; when you're tinkering with cell growth (or re-growth), there can be unintended consequences. After all, what is cancer but growth gone awry? But...and I know this will come as a shock, Dear Ones...it would appear that the most promising work with organ regeneration, including stem cell research, is being conducted by real scientists and practitioners of science-based medicine rather than Secret-style magickal thinkers. I know; I didn't want to believe it either. But please don't shoot the messenger. I just felt that you deserved to know the truth.
Anyway, judging from the information on his web site, Doc Vetter will be focusing on the "research" from Russia. He shares more about his Organ Regeneration Workshop here and here. 

What the good doc does when he's not regenerating organs
In true New-Wage dilettante fashion, Doc Vetter dabbles in numerous other enterprises besides teaching Organ Regeneration, including a proprietary gimmick called Matrix Energetics, which is actually the brain(less)child of a chiropractor named Richard Bartlett, who, among other amazing achievements, once had his picture snapped with Rhonda Byrne. So you know he's the real deal. But that's probably worthy of its own blog post; suffice it to say for now that Doc Vetter apparently leads a weekly "Matrix Energetics Study Group" at CenterPoint Mind, Body, Spirit Center in Houston. It seems there are quite a few folks involved in Matrix Energetics who, like Vetter, are also into Organ Regeneration. (Here's yet another one.)

In January of this year Doc Vetter delivered a "Healing and Transformation Demonstration" at CenterPoint. It was advertised as free, though "love offerings" were accepted, of course. On the listing for the event, which appears on his Achieve Your Potential site, Vetter presented an inventory of recent successes, presumably his:

Transformations in August...
Two people recovered their hearing
Two people had high levels of pain one was eliminated the other greatly reduced
One person lost weight
One person's financial issues disappeared
Transformations in September...
Stomach problem resolved
Relationship issue resolved
Hip pain eliminated
Financial Blessings given and received
Transformations in December...
Headaches removed
Back pain gone
Cancer removed
Money worries removed

In case you are wondering about that "Doctor" title, no, Doc Vetter is not a medical doctor, despite that cancer removal and those pain resolution cases. Nor, apparently, is he a financial adviser, despite his apparent knack for helping people get rid of their money worries, or at least their money. His credentials are spelled out in detail on his "I Love Me" page on the Achieve Your Potential site. And here's what it says on the Amazon page for his book, Train Your Thinking (more on that below):

Houston is the Managing Director of FBI-Feel Better Institute doing one on one coaching and counseling for personal, professional and private issues. He is a Business Intuitive and he is the main speaker and presenter for Accelerated Success Strategies, Inc. [aka ASS? ~ CLS] a seminar and Workshop Company working with small to large businesses internationally. Houston has PhD's in Comparative Religions, Psychology, Sports and Energy Psychology.

He shares more information about his background on his ThisOneSecret site (and I'll have more on that below as well):

As a modeler of excellence I've gone so far as to spend money to learn and test everything possible to find what works. I even spent the time, energy, effort and money to earn three, count 'em, three Piled Higher and Deepers (PhDs), and in addition, to that I've studied and received certificates and Master level proficiency in over 33 different change, healing and transformation modalities. I was even a pastor of a 5000 member non-denomination church for about 8 years, back when 5000 members was a lot of members.

This modeler of excellence and master of more than 33 modalities teaches people how to train their thinking to realize success, and he has a web site devoted to same, as well as a book, which I mentioned above. The price of the print book is $31.00 and the Kindle version is $29.00. That must be some super-valuable knowledge, considering that the Kindle versions of mainstream bestsellers are going for an average of $9.99, while you can get new print releases of same for $15.00 or less. Doc Vetter also expounds on the train-your-brain motif on various online article sites.

I found this enlightening piece, "Is [sic] Critical Thinking and Moral Values A Bunch of Crap?" on the submityourarticles.com site, under the "Religion and Faith Articles" category. More recently he published "The Real Secret The Movie The Secret Didn't Tell You" on the Articlesbase.com site. Glancing at another Houston Vetter site, Secret Success, I noticed that he has written several other books on achieving success using little-known methods. You can download three of 'em for only $49.00. 

As also noted above, Doc Vetter delivers one-one-one coaching by phone and in person. "One phone call with Houston changed my personality," said Eric L. of Osaka, Japan, according to the testimonials column on the Secret Success site. How much will this personality-changing, paradigm-shattering coaching set you back? Well, that depends. If you're really interested you can set up a free 15-minute consultation with the Doc, as noted on the Contact The Doc page on his Achieve Your Potential site. Yes, that's right: Doc Houston will take time out from his busy schedule as a Personal Performance Coach who helps people achieve their potential right now, in order to consult with little ol' you. The purpose of the freeee 15-minute evaluation is for him to determine if you have enough money to make you worth his while... I mean, to figure out whether or not he can fit you into his very busy schedule, and also to determine how much to charge you.

As any professional in any field, he can not assess your investment, cost or charge until after he has diagnosed you and the problem. Just as an athletic coach must see you perform before giving you a spot on the team, or a mechanic or any health professional must diagnose the problem before quoting the repair cost, so must Dr. Vetter. The difference is you don’t have to pay a $90-$125 first Doctors office visit fee; you get to talk directly with the Doc for FREE.

So you want a range? Some sort of idea… OK! If Dr. Vetter does decide to work with you personally and privately one-on-one it could be as little as $250-$300 and it goes up from there… If you prefer to do it on your own, if you do not need the private personal one-on-one attention of a highly respected internationally known Personal Performance Coach and Spiritual Transformationalist that is ok you can still take advantage of his Self-Help Package of Tools known as The Forgotten Fundamentals of A Successful Life for a lower monetary investment to achieve your potential.

The link in that last graph leads to the Secret Success site, mentioned above. Presumably your "lower monetary investment" is a mere forty-nine bucks.
But the really, really exciting news is that Doc Vetter has discovered a secret: the aforementioned This One Secret, and it is a secret that will change your life forever. It, too, is only $49.00. (Didn't he get the memo from the IM Syndicate that frauduct prices are supposed to end in the number 7?) Writes The Doc:

Because of "This One Secret"...

• I'm getting to my idea [sic] weight without trying, and you can too...
• I'm getting richer (more money) without even trying, and you can too...
• I'm getting healthier and fitter without me trying, and you can too...
• Relationships are getting better without me trying, and they will for you too...
• Everything is more harmonious without me trying, and you can feel it too...
• Life is working with ease and flow
• And so much more...

Well, so much for the recent spate of New-Wage-guru disclaimers that, contrary to what The Secret implied, success really requires action and hard work. That doesn't seem to be the p.o.v. of Doc Vetter, who reveals:

I'm telling you this is so amazing and so very, very simple.

• It requires no physical action
• It requires no action plan
• It requires no help from anyone
• You can do it all by yourself
• Takes very little time
• Can be applied in seconds

This is the fundamental operation, the ultimate answer, the hidden knowledge, the simplest secret, the Skelton Key, that unlocks the core of all power and it is yours and I'll show you how to use it.

The Skelton Key? Could this be an arcane reference to the the famous late comedian Red Skelton? Could This One Secret be the key to opening up your clown chakra? Ah, the mystery deepens.

Whatever it is, it must be working. Doc Vetter has gathered a few highly credible video testimonials for This One Secret, which you can watch if you visit the site. Here's what some folks are saying about the miracle that is This One Secret:

"This One Secret" is the bottom line for everything. ~M.C. H., Houston TX
If you want to be a better person, "This One Secret" will make it happen. ~Jerry H., Houston TX
"This One Secret" will let Conservatives, Liberals, Democrats and Republicans get what they want without being mad at the other. ~Bill K., The Woodlands TX
"This One Secret" makes me a better spouse, parent, employee, and Christian. ~Marina G., Cypress TX
"This One Secret" was even more valuable than my diploma from Treadway University. ~ Dr. Clem Kadiddlehopper ***

As if all of the above weren't enough, Vetter has also been involved in the MLM company Eniva, which offers "life-enhancing opportunities and products to the global community" (notice that the flopportunities get top billing). On the "Nutritional Health" page on his Achieve Your Potential site he writes that everything from Alzheimer's to bird flu to cancer to menstrual cramps to stress can be traced back to the lack of cellular nutritional health. Fortunately he sells just the potion to take care of all of these problems, VIBE juice, which is described in detail here.

But it appears to me that in order to purchase a bottle of VIBE you have to buy into the MLM, which will set you back $99.90 US. For that you get one-count-em-one 32-ounce bottle, 10 promotional fliers, and 20 one-ounce samples so you can recruit more suckers into the scheme. Hey, anything to bring the money in. But maybe it doesn't bring so much money in for Doc Houston; I found this undated piece on the WorldWideScam web site, which mentions both Vetter and his Feel Better Institute.

Nearly three years ago the Houston Press' Craig Malisow blogged about Houston Vetter, whose first name, Malisow noted, is actually Gerhard. Malisow was puzzled about a talk that Vetter was scheduled to deliver at CenterPoint titled, "Bust Loose From Poverty." The cost was $25 in advance and $30 at the door. Malisow asked Vetter why he was charging people to bust loose from poverty, and Vetter's first response was, "You're thinking...from the concept that money's real and that money's limited."
Spoken like a true New-Wage guru wannabe!

Money may not be real, but these days Vetter is charging more of it, at least for his Organ Regeneration Workshop, which takes place March 19-20, 2011 in Houston in something called a Scalar Wave Chamber at a "holistic treatment" venue called The Enhancement Institute, and which will set you back at least $250.00 Or, as the ad mentioned above puts it, "Normal Appreciation is $395, but through March 4, appreciation is only $250. "Appreciation" is Doc Vetter's spiritually-correct word for "fee" or "cost," the rationale being that money, though not real, is a method to express appreciation for the value delivered by New-Wage crackpots. As Vetter said on one of his web sites:

There is a lot of information for you on our different websites. Some of it is free, and some of it asks you to appreciate with money.

And the more money you give him, the more Doc Vetter will appreciate it.

But seriously now...
It appears to me that Doc Vetter -- like virtually all of the folks who advertise in the hundreds of regional metaphysical rags across the US -- is a little tadpole in a very large, very crowded, and frankly brackish pond, scrabbling to make a living by trying out one shtick after another in hopes that eventually something will turn him into a frog, so he can catapult himself right out of that congested pond and onto the banks of The New-Wage Big Time, where the Princess of Fortune will kiss him and transform him into a prince, so he can finally take his place at the banquet table with those who have hit The New-Wage Really Big Time. Jeez, I thought that metaphor, and that sentence, would never end. Sorry about that.

Doc Vetter continues to promote his numerous products and workshops, while attempting to engage marginal Big-Timers such as Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale, on whose blog he recently posted a comment that suggested he possesses a greater depth of understanding than Joe does. Despite Doc Vetter's attempt at spiritual oneupmanship, Joe expressed appreciation for the comment, which, I suppose, is understandable in light of the contributions of a critical participant named Robert T and another named Linda, both of whom were cutting Joe no slack. (Here is Linda's response to the Vetter-Vitale exchange.) Matter of fact, Doc Vetter has been fairly active recently on Joe's blog, posting praise for Joe's wisdom while slyly promoting himself, as in this comment where he plugged "his" organ regeneration techniques.

Actually Doc Vetter and Joe go way back in the blogosphere. A little over four years ago, when Joe was apparently just beginning to be aware that some folks had issues with The Secret, he wrote a post on his old blog, Beyond Marketing, that pretty much set the tone for Law of Attraction apologists for an extended interval until the furious backpedaling began. Joe started the post by noting that critics had come "flying out of their dark hiding places," though he apparently did not realize or at least was not acknowledging that some of us had been hiding in plain sight from the beginning. Joe groused that critics of The Secret and the Law of Attraction were taking it all out of context by using dismal examples such as the poor people in Africa, or children dying of diseases, to prove that The Secret was a lie. Wrote Joe:

My own take is that The Secret will work for anyone who will apply it.

What about the people in Africa?

Well, do you think they know The Secret?

Hardly.

What about children dying?

Well, do you think they know The Secret?

Hardly.

And what if someone who knew The Secret ended up in Africa or with a disease?

Obviously (as the movie points out), they could change themselves and their situation.

That's the whole point of knowing The Secret.

Rather than condemning the movie by citing examples where people don't even know the principle let alone practice it, I think a wiser stance is to find how The Secret works, demonstrate it in your own life, and let your life be a model for others to be inspired by.

I think that's what the teachers in the movie, including myself, are trying to do.

Ah, yes, what inspiring models some of those teachers have turned out to be. Do follow that link, and be sure to read all of the comments that cite James Ray -- whose manslaughter trial officially starts tomorrow in Camp Verde, Arizona -- as a shining example of The Secret's effectiveness. Especially noteworthy is this comment from someone named Vicki Kunkel, who describes herself as "a nationally recognized expert in mass appeal," although the Blogger profile to which she links reveals that she has had a grand total of four or five views of her profile. Seriously, you have to read that comment. I'll wait.

As for the other inconsistencies, leaps of logic, or deliberate obfuscation in the aforementioned Mr. Fire blog post (and you'll see several more examples if you read the entire post), those have been discussed endlessly over the past few years. But I don't want to digress too much. The point is that our good Doc Vetter piped in with a comment that was the perfect mix of New-Wage wisdom and condescension towards the critics:

Joe,

I so enjoy allowing others not to allow. I find it interesting that most criticism comes from people who only take a surface look at something that has much more depth.

If someone has a problem with LOA I'd be fascinated to see what they have to say about the Law/Art of Allowing.

In keeping with the best practices followed by those who engage in "the magic circle jerk of mutual self-admiration," as my friend Chris Locke once put it, Joe wrote an endorsement that appears on Doc Vetter's Secret Success web site. I'm guessing this provided a momentary thrill and perhaps a small and brief surge in sales (at least if it was accompanied by one of Joe's emails to his list), but that it wasn't sufficient to get Doc Vetter out of the crowded pond, to say nothing of get him to the banquet table. Oh, good Goddess, it appears that I am being pursued by a really bad metaphor. Someone please help me.

I would surmise that the odds of making the Big Time, much less the Really Big Time, are against Doc Vetter, no matter how many Secret stars he kisses up to or how many throwaway endorsements he can get from them. In that respect Vetter is no different from the great majority of the dabblers who peddle their wares and services on the pages of New-Wage rags, and try to earn points, or at least attention, by playing the sycophant to the industry's rock stars.

I suppose I should have a little more compassion for the lot of them than I seem to be displaying here. After all, most are just trying to make a living without doing any real work, and isn't that what most of us are trying to do too? Seriously, that's my highest goal these days. Furthermore the overwhelming majority of New-Wage wannabes will never come close to achieving the lofty heights of success, fame, and power that allow a James Ray to be an agent of death; or a Kevin True-dough to be a multimillionaire serial scammer; or an obnoxious LGAT like Landmark Forum to worm its way into every corner of modern life; or a destructive cult like Scientology to be able to afford to run slickly produced ads on prime-time TV every night. Most of the wannabes, probably, are just harmless cranks.

And maybe I'm completely wrong about Doc Vetter; perhaps he doesn't care about fame and fortune at all and is driven by a genuine desire to help people. (Okay, that was a little over-the-top. Stop snickering.) Maybe he is just peddling the New-Wage stuff as a hobby or because he's bored. Or perhaps he's secretly every bit as snarky and cynical as I am but is merely engaged, for his own amusement, in testing the limits of what people are willing to believe (and what they are willing to pay). I keep thinking I should do that too, and even wrote some song lyrics to that effect (still waiting on the music, though).

At any rate, it's time for me to get back to my Real Work for a while. I'll be back here soon, and meanwhile, do feel free to appreciate my Whirled all you want; there's a handy button on the upper left-hand side that will make it easy and effortless to do just that. It's almost like...magic. And I am willing to bet that you'll find it to be much easier than re-growing teeth, fingers, or gallbladders.

PS ~ I know I mentioned it above, but it bears repeating: the trial of James Arthur "Death" Ray begins tomorrow, March 1, 2010, in Camp Verde, Arizona. It will be televised live on the cable/satellite channel In Session (formerly known as CourtTV).

* Houston (the city), as you may know, has long been a hotbed of metaphysical activity; this piece is from my old Cosmic Relief site (scroll down to "Why we love our hometown... Eat your heart out, Berkeley, Houston is Spaced City").
** In case you haven't figured this out by context, "modalities" is a popular euphemism for New-Wage gimmicks, most of which are ancient beliefs and superstitious rituals dressed up in modern scientifical garb, often presented by dilettantes with made-up credentials.
*** I might have made that last one up. Not only am I being pursued by a really bad metaphor, but I have also been possessed by a fake-testimonial-writing demon.

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