Trumpian crapitalism continues with tacky $100k watches (and crass exploitation of assassination attempts)

For nearly a week the Interwebs have been abuzz with yet another one of #NeverWasMyPresident DonOld Trump's endless efforts to suck all of the oxygen out of the room (while siphoning as much money as possible from the gullible): his gaudy $100,000 tourbillon watch collection. There are cheaper watches in the new Trump collection as well -- some as low as $499! -- but they just don't have that tourbillon magic, so take that into consideration when planning how to squander your retirement savings or your kid's college fund. (Hey, who needs college anyway? Trump veep creep JD Vance says that colleges make "worse people" and that universities should be destroyed.)

If you don't know much about watches, you may be asking, as many have (and as I no doubt would have if I'd actually cared enough), what a tourbillon is, since that's the thing, apart from the Trump name of course, that supposedly makes the $100k wrist bling so very, very special. Daniel Miller at the LA Times explains it (via MSN, October 1, 2024):

Two hundred grams of gold. 122 diamonds. A $100,000 price tag. And "TRUMP" on the dial.

Flashy, yes, but the most notable feature in a mechanical wristwatch debuted by former President Trump last week may be the anachronistic technology encasing its beating heart: a tourbillon.

The device, for which the watch is named, is an 18th century invention meant to improve accuracy by counteracting the effects of gravity on a watch's mechanism. It does so by suspending timekeeping components in a rotating cage.

While visually interesting — the Trump watch's tourbillon is displayed via a cutout on its dial — it is no longer functionally necessary, owing to advances in watchmaking...

Even so, the tourbillon continues to be kind of a status-symbolish thing among snooty watch wearers. However, the tourbillon in Trump's tawdry offering doesn't justify the hefty price tag, according to folks who are in a position to know.

...among watch cognoscenti, the timepiece attracted instant opprobrium. In Instagram posts, WhatsApp group chats and TikTok videos, influential voices savaged the solid-gold watch over its appearance and cost...

...In one online clip, Mike Nouveau, a vintage-watch dealer with a large online presence, calculated the value of some of the watch's parts, a tally far below its retail price. He said the timepiece featured an "off-the-shelf" tourbillon that costs less than $3,000.

Several industry experts said including a tourbillon in Trump's watch made sense.

"It is a beautiful mechanical parallel to Trump — here is a person who whirls around, and is shiny and flashy, but has no function or purpose and is entirely anachronistic in how he sees the world," said Phil Toledano, co-founder of the watch brand Toledano & Chan.

Well, I wouldn't say he's without function or purpose; Trump has proven to be a very useful tool indeed for tyrants overseas and Christofascist evildoers Stateside. But Toledano's point is well taken anyway.

Tons of other writers and commentators have been on watch watch as well, and many have really been having fun with the story (along with making some serious points about the grift). On September 27, 2024, Jonathan V. Last at the conservative Bulwark posted a Q&A about the griftwatch collection.

Q. If I buy a Trump watch, will I get it in time to wear to the next insurrection?
A. Maybe. The website says the watches will ship in October. Or November. Or December. Or maybe some other month?

Watches start shipping in October/November/December. . . . Shipping and delivery dates are estimates only and cannot be guaranteed. We are not liable for any delays in shipments. Your order will ship as it becomes available, so the earlier you buy, the quicker it will ship. Each watch is made to order.

“Made to order,” by the way, does not mean “bespoke.” It means “dropshipped.”

Q. Why is a billionaire bothering with this scam project?
Trump says that his Victory watches are limited to 147 pieces in total. But they’re offered in three colorways. I would bet he’s selling 147 of each, for a total of 441 pieces. At $100,000 per, that’s $44 million. Less the production costs, that’s still $35 million. Trump licensed his image and likeness to the company doing the watch sales—exactly as he did with his sneakers and NFTs. We don’t know what his percentage of the take is, but if it’s less than 75 percent, he’s a fool.

Because if you’re the watch guys, you bring nothing to the table except the ability to make this a turnkey operation that the Big Guy never has to think about.

What Trump brings to the table is: There is no business without him. He could find other fulfillment monkeys to handle his wares. The watch guys could not find another Donald Trump to sucker people into paying $100,000 for a $20,000 watch.

From Trump’s perspective, he puts in an hour of work—signing off on the design and taping his video spiel—and walks away with low eight figures.

Q. If this is such a good scam business, why didn’t Trump sell watches before?
A. He did. Perhaps you remember Trump Watches 1.0? He sold them in 2005 through Macy’s, with a typical retail price around $300. (This was before he had an army of mouth-breathing idiots panting after his merch.) In the main, these were gold-plated stainless steel pieces with Japanese movements. You can find them on eBay where as of yesterday—surprise!—people are trying to sell them for many thousands of dollars. Because game recognizes game, I guess...

Niece Mary Trump, also writing on September 27, 2024, had a few words as well:

Donald is not a builder—he has, in fact, created very few things in his life, unless you count the smoke and mirrors. Since he’s been unemployed over three years, he’s spent the bulk of his time playing and cheating at golf; but he’s also spent a considerable amount on his lucrative side-hustle: grifting his followers.

Sometimes the grift comes in the form of asking for campaign contributions that go to fund his legal expenses and not his campaign. Sometimes he hawks cheap products somebody pays him to slap his name on. In the last year alone we’ve gotten gold sneakers, non-fungible trading cards, bibles, and, most recently, watches.

Donald long ago learned that there’s no risk in selling his name—he gets paid up front, does a sales pitch, and cashes his check.

The new watches sell for anywhere from $499 to $100,000 (not a typo). The FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT collection (who among us hasn’t tried to raise money off of an assassination attempt in which people were actually killed?) includes a stainless-steel watch with a blood-red dial. The Victory Tourbillon comes in 18k yellow or rose gold and costs more than the average American makes in two years.

Following this, Mary discussed the site's disclaimers, which in themselves should be a huge red flag for anyone with any sense at all (and which the aforementioned Jonathan V. Last, as well as numerous other commentators, also covered). Then she added:

In a slimy video that would be stunning in its ridiculousness coming from any other presidential candidate, Donald tells us the $100,000 watch is made with almost 200 grams of gold and “more than 100 real diamonds. That’s a lot of diamonds. I love gold. I love diamonds. We all do.”

Jesus.

There are much, much worse things about Donald Trump than his shameless hucksterism, but leveraging the presidency in this way is truly grotesque. Despite the fact that we’ve learned to expect nothing, it’s still shocking that corporate media considers that this ugly aspect of a presidential candidate is something we all should ignore—or accept.

Indeed.

On a more serious note, on a September 30 Bulwark piece, Jonathan Last suggested that Trump's watch scheme is specifically designed to skirt bribery laws. Last described a method by which a theoretical politician could monetize his power:

• The politician publicly sells some valueless good—let’s say, magic beans—at a wildly inflated price. Say, $100,000.
• Very few people would pay $100,000 for magic beans.
• But an individual who wants to influence the politician might buy lots of them. This individual might say something like, “Yes, I will take $1,000,000 worth of your magic beans.”
• The politician takes the money and winks. It would be implicitly understood that the politician owes this individual an unspecified favor in the indeterminate future.
• I am not a lawyer and this is not legal advice, but this arrangement is probably not illegal.

You can see the logistical problems with this arrangement. It is complicated and the implied contract has been abstracted. The briber doesn’t always get the chance to say explicitly beforehand, “I will buy $1 million of magic beans and then at a later date, you will do X for me” and confirm an agreement from the politician. And the more abstract the exchange is, the harder it is for both parties to be satisfied.

But that’s the tradeoff for mitigating criminal exposure.

And to further insulate himself, Last wrote, a pol could sell the overpriced crap during his campaign -- that is, before being elected to office should he win -- and he could run the sales through a third party. Which, of course, is precisely what DonOld is doing. Draw your own conclusions.

Media types haven't been the only ones who've weighed in on Watchgate, of course. Countless social media commenters and meme-makers/sharers have also attacked this appalling grift, with many pointing out that the very same political party that is crying crocodile tears over average consumers struggling with sky-high grocery prices (supposedly because of Biden/Harris) has chosen for their presidential candidate a sleazy salesman who is encouraging those same aggrieved consumers to sink their dollars into tacky, egregiously overpriced merch. I would say that this blatant inconsistency is a sign of tone deafness, but that's being far too kind: it's really just a toxic mix of plain old cynicism and hunger for power at any cost.

The watches are just the latest in a long line of Trumpian crapitalistic endeavors
And with that sub-head I've just overstated the obvious once again, but that's what I do best on this blog.

Trump of course is a lifelong huckster, but his hucksterism has increased greatly since he entered politix. It was only a few months ago that he was making news with his tacky gold $400 high-top clown shoes, to which we paid tribute on this Whirled, of course. If you didn't grab a pair for yourself early on, too bad for you: according to the web site, The Never Surrender High-Tops ("Bold, gold, and tough, just like President Trump") are SOLD OUT. (Wait. "...just like President Trump?" Shouldn't the shoes be orange?)

Anyway, only 1,000 pairs were slated to be released. I've been Googling and Bing-ing in an effort to find out if any shoes were actually ever shipped, but I haven't been able get details. I suppose we will just have to take it on faith that there are 1,000 proud Never Surrender High-Top wearers who are the envy of all of their friends and neighbors and local professional clown associations.

A few months after the gold shoes came out, and just in time for Holy Week (for those non-Orthodox Christians who celebrate Easter), the Trump grift machine announced, completely without irony, the $60 Trump Bible, which was actually a new way to sell an older product that hadn't been doing so well until it was blessed with the official Orange Stain. I haven't been able to get sales figures on that holy tome, but the web site indicates that it's still actively on the market: "IN STOCK NOW FOR QUICK SHIPPING."

And the good news is that now there are two Very Special Editions of the Trump Bible -- I mean, even special-er than the original. To begin with, as part of the endless exploitation of the July 13, 2024 assassination attempt against Cheeto Jeezus (which has been a fundrazing BONANZA for Trump), there is The Day God Intervened Edition:

God Bless The USA Bible – “The Day God Intervened” Edition

This beautiful God Bless The USA Bible has been custom embossed to [sic] in remembrance of the day that God intervened during President Donald J. Trump’s assassination attempt.

DONALD J. TRUMP
45TH PRESIDENT
OF THE
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
THE DAY GOD INTERVENED
JULY 13, 2024

In the interests of setting the record straight, however, I must mention that God Himself hath declared, "Hey, don't blame me." Sayeth the Lord:

Do you really think I’d waste my divine power on the Tangerine Palpatine? Come on, folks, for once just PLEASE give God a break. I’ve got better things to do, like making sure the sun rises every day and keeping the universe from falling apart. And playing with Lego. You really think I’d step in to save that conman who can’t string two coherent thoughts together?

And if you think I saved Donald’s life, then why did I let the innocent bystander die? Huh? HUH?!? Do you Trump supporting Christians realize how crazy you all sound?? Of course you don’t, because you’re batshit. 

But never mind Him; He's just God. Trump is the real Almighty, and you really need to pick up this new edition. Like the original, it's only $60.00. What have ya got to lose?

If you're a true Bible collector and truly loyal to Trump, there's also a very limited edition now available: the President Donald J. Trump Signature Edition God Bless The USA Bible:

President Donald J. Trump Signature Edition God Bless The USA Bible

Limited Edition
Only 1000 Available!
While Supplies Last!
Each Bible Contains President Donald J. Trump’s Hand-Signed Signature

Hand-signed, as opposed to printed... which presumably means that Trump sat down with his Sharpie and signed 1,000 Bibles. Think of that: he took time off from golfing and boasting about his crowd sizes and griping about Kamala's resume and I.Q. to sign those Bibles just for you!

That's why they're worth every penny of the $1,000.00 price (plus $100.00-plus shipping). Heck of a deal.

The shoes and Bibles and watches are, of course, just a few of a seemingly endless string of Trump's crapitalistic ventures. On September 26, 2024, Rolling Stone published a more comprehensive examination of recent Trump merch. Included are what Rolling Stone describes as "assassination attempt cologne."

Trump has made hay over the assassination attempt against him in July, both through campaign fundraising and hawking merchandise — including “Fight Fight Fight” cologne and perfume. “This scent is your rallying cry in a bottle,” the description of the cologne reads. “Featuring Trump’s iconic image and raised fist, this limited-edition cologne embodies strength, power, and victory.” The perfume is intended for “women who embody strength and grace, like President Trump.” Both are for sale for $129.

The "Fight Fight Fight" Trump-odor series is not to be confused with the "Trump Victory 47" stinkum that was being pushed back in February along with the clown shoes.

And all of the above is in addition to Trump's long history of grift preceding his entry into politix -- e.g., Trump University and The Trump Network. Not to mention his entire history of shady and corrupt business practices...

In other words, watches and Bibles and shoes and toilet water are just the tip of the iceberg.

With Trump, now as in the past and in the future, it's really all about the grift. And if he can land another gig in the White House, you can bet that in addition to being an instrument in destroying American democracy for good, he'll be making bank in a big way. Meanwhile, most of the rest of us will still be struggling with soaring food, housing, fuel, and healthcare costs, and Trump and his uber-rich allies won't give a damn about any of that.

Vote Blue in November.

Before you leave...
This has been, through what is no apparent fault of her own (excluding, perhaps karmic matters that are quite beyond her ability to comprehend), a nightmare of a year for the ruler of this Whirled. Money, alas, cannot make the nightmare go away, but it can make it easier to bear. Now more than ever, donations are urgently needed and profoundly appreciated. Here are some ways to do it:

• New: Venmo -- username @Connie-Schmidt-42. Here is a direct link to the Venmo page.
  New: PayPal -- Here is a direct link to Cosmic Connie's PayPal page.
  Old but still good: You can click on the "Donate" icon that currently appears on the right-hand side of every page of this blog on the Web version. There's also a donation link at the end of many of my older blog posts. In the case of both the icon and the links on the older posts, this is also a PayPal link, but it references the email account of Cosmic Connie's husband, RevRon -- which is cool, because it all ultimately goes to the same place.

NOTE: If you are donating by PayPal, please specify that your contribution is a gift, which it is (as opposed to a conventional purchase, for which PayPal deducts a percentage for their fee).

Whether you can donate or not, thank you for visiting this Whirled.

Trump grift Bible: Holy Week offer by wholly weak former president and Christofascist tool

 

The Trumpwood Bible, aka The God Bless The USA Bible, is not new; it has actually been around for a few years. But it has found a new and happy home in the Donald Trump grift machine, much to the delight of the Christofascists who are propping up Trump for their own benefit, and the outrage of pretty much everyone who is actually trying to follow the teachings of Christ.

By now you have surely heard of the so-called Trump Bible: a $60.00 tome endorsed and promoted by Cheeto Jeezus himself in conjunction with his close buddy and ally Lee Greenwood. Greenwood, of course, is best known for what to many folks is one of the world's worst songs, the performative-patriot anthem, "God Bless The USA." This Bible is not actually new -- see below, under, "A bad book finally finds a home" -- but the Trumpy promo campaign is new, and was strategically timed to coincide with Holy Week. (Well, technically, it's only Holy Week for non-Orthodox Christians; Orthodox Christians are going to be celebrating Easter on Cinco de Mayo this year.)

As ludicrous as the Trumpwood Bible itself is, even more ludicrous is the robotic promo vid by Mango Mussolini, who hilariously claims to be fighting hard for the Constitution every day. (Maybe he's fighting for the Constitution of Trumpistan, but not of the United States of America.) Here's a link where you can watch the Trump Bible video if you haven't already; I did have a YouTube link but it seems to be no longer valid.

I had a few thoughts when I first saw the social media posts and the promo vid about this grift Bible.

1. Compulsory prayer? Orange Overlord's Truth Social post said, "Let's Make America Pray Again." Does that mean that he thinks that prayer should be compulsory?
   
   Believe me, nobody needs to make Americans pray. Millions of Americans who do pray, and even many who don't normally do so, are sending heartfelt pleas to the Almighty that Trump is never allowed anywhere near the Oval Office again.
   
   
2. Christofascist dog whistle, anyone? In the video Cheeto Jeezus repeatedly says that the country needs to bring back religion, but in the same breath he says that we need to bring back CHRISTIANITY. He does mention "Judaeo-Christian values" one time in passing, but then again, this is the same guy who declared that the 2017 tiki-torch loons, who were marching in Charlottesville and shouting "Jews will not replace us!", were "very fine people."
   
   
3. Book design and readability questions. Even though I am an agnostic, I love books, and I actually do have "many Bibles" in my home, as Trump claims that he does. But I wonder about the "slim design" product that Cheeto Jeezus is holding in his little paws in the promo pics and video. I have Bibles of all sizes and formats, including ones that are even smaller than the book Trump is promoting, and that contain the entire text of the Old and New Testaments. They're printed on onionskin paper, as are many Bibles, and the font is teeny-tiny. So the fact that the Trumpwood Bible is advertised as being "large print" for easy reading seems a little odd, even if it is formatted in two columns as advertised.
   
   It's especially puzzling when you consider that the Trump/Greenwood tome also contains extras: the text of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights (which actually is a part of the Constitution, being the first 10 amendments), the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and a "handwritten" version of the chorus to "God Bless The USA."
   
   How can it be so comprehensive in such a slender package, even with onionskin paper -- and yet still be "large print" and "easy to read?" I think they should show previews of some of the interior pages, a "search inside this book" feature like Amazon has, but that seems to be missing from the web site. (See below under "Dueling editions...")
   
   
4. The "Trusted King James Version edition." Given the profound dumbing-down and marginal literacy of so much of the American public, particularly the Trump base, I'm thinking that the KJV, "trusted" though it may be, is a poor choice if you're actually trying to reach people who may not be familiar with the Bible. Even much more literate folks have challenges with the archaic English in KJV. Do the sellers really hope to introduce new generations to the word-o-God with this version? Granted, the KJV is in the public domain, whereas many later translations are not. But there are more modern translations that are in the public domain, so more than likely the book's creators and promoters are banking on the probability that the ignoranti will embrace the outmoded language as being sacred and holy, even if they don't understand a word of it.
   
   
5. Yet another bald-faced lie about affiliations. No big shocker here. This is from the Q & A page on the GodBlessTheUSABible dot com web site.
   Q. Is any of the money from this Bible going to the Donald J. Trump campaign for President?
   A. No, GodBlessTheUSABible dot com is not political and has nothing to do with any political campaign. GodBlessTheUSABible dot com is not owned, managed or controlled by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization, CIC Ventures LLC or any of their respective principals or affiliates.GodBlessTheUSABible dot com uses Donald J. Trump’s name, likeness and image under paid license from CIC Ventures LLC, which license may be terminated or revoked according to its terms.
   
   But CIC Ventures is clearly a Trump company (Trumpany?). It's one of the players behind the gaudy gold sneakers, the low-tops, and the Trump golden toilet water. And it's also pretty clear that all proceeds will go, if not to Trump's political campaign, then to his legal fund. Anyone who genuinely believes this grift is totally apolitical is willfully blind or just not very bright, or both -- in other words, if I may state the painfully obvious, a member of Trump's base.

Many Christians are offended
There is, I must add, slightly reassuring evidence that the world hasn't turned totally upside down. Many Christians actually are offended by Trump's "blasphemous grift," as religious scholar and self-described "sane conservative" Tara Setmayer put it in a Xitter post.

Tara Setmayer @TaraSetmayer There’s NOTHING “holy” about selling Bibles “endorsed by Trump.” More blasphemous grift. Beware: “For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall show great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.” Matthew 24:24

Hmm. Matthew 24, verse 24. And this is 2024. Maybe that's a sign.

A March 29, 2024 piece in the Daily Kos has more about the blowback from the saner Christian world. And while there are legitimate reasons to criticize the Reverend Al Sharpton for some of his rhetoric and his personality, he does seem to speak for many mainstream Christians regarding the Trumpwood Bible.

Speaking to MSNBC, the Rev. Al Sharpton said that Trump’s scheme brought to mind the word “blasphemy.”

“I think that people ought to realize how offensive this is to those of us that really believe in the Bible,” said Sharpton. “He’s doing this during Holy Week. Tomorrow is Good Friday. Sunday is Easter. Of all of the times you want to hustle using the Bible, why would you do it during Holy Week, which is really a spit in the face of people that really believe in the Bible from a Christian point of view?”

Nevertheless, Lee Greenwood is all over the reich-wing media, staunchly defending his crass decision to partner with Trump. For instance, check out the Newsmax video embedded in a post by journalist Aaron Rupar.

A bad book finally finds a home
As you may also know by now, this Bible, though new to the Trumpian grift mill, is not actually new. Lee Greenwood had been struggling for years to launch his project, which was rejected by major Bible publishers. From USA Today, March 27, 2024:

A petition emerged in 2021 calling Greenwood’s Bible “a toxic mix that will exacerbate the challenges to American evangelicalism.” From there, a broader conversation ensued about the standards by which publishers print Bibles.

Gatekeeping in Bible publishing
Greenwood’s early business partner on the project, a Hermitage-based marketing firm called Elite Source Pro, initially reached a manufacturing agreement with the Nashville-based HarperCollins Christian Publishing to print the “God Bless The USA Bible.”

As part of that agreement, HarperCollins would publish the book but not sell or endorse it. But then HarperCollins reversed course, a major setback for Greenwood’s Bible.

The reversal by HarperCollins followed a decision by Zondervan — a publishing group under HarperCollins Christian Publishing and an official North American licensor for Bibles printed in the New International Version translation — to pass on the project. HarperCollins said the decision was unrelated to the petition or other public denunciations against Greenwood’s Bible...

A September 2021 piece in Slate has much more about the Greenwood Bible's struggles to get published, and the article also contains insightful info about some even more radical "patriotic" Bibles and their place in American politics and culture wars. Some of those Bibles, such as The American Patriot's Bible, published by Southern Baptist pastor Richard G. Lee in 2009, make Greenwood's project look remarkably subtle by comparison.

In any case, for decades evangelicals in general have been quite comfortable with the idea of marrying the Bible to American patriotism and the country's founding values -- but Trump caused some of them to rethink that notion, particularly after the deadly January 6, 2021 Trump-fueled insurrection.

Trump’s election changed how many more progressive evangelicals saw the idea, particularly after the researchers Samuel Perry and Andrew Whitehead published research highlighting the influence of Christian nationalism and connecting it to support for Trump. According to Whitehead, around half of all American adults are broadly in favor of thinking of America as a Christian nation, and a smaller segment of those Christians—about 20 percent of Americans overall—strongly advocate for the idea. Many faith leaders who noticed the ideology in their churches really began to worry after the Jan. 6 insurrection, when the rioters waved crosses and Christian protest signs. “We can’t unsee the Jesus signs next to Trump signs, the Confederate flag paraded, the broken windows, injured bodies and officers assaulted,” the Zondervan authors wrote in their public letter protesting the God Bless the USA Bible.

Publishing struggles and controversies aside, though, it looks like a happy ending now for Greenwood and Trump as they stroke each other off in public and proudly promote their Very Special Bible. Praise the Lard.

Dueling editions (spoiler: there WAS a cheaper version available, for a while)
[NOTE: This section was updated on April 2, 2024 to reflect the fact that the cheaper edition of this Bible no longer seems to be available. ~ CC]

On a whim I decided to pay a visit to Amazon a few days ago to see if the Trumpwood Bible was listed there, and if so, if it might have a "search inside this book" option. What I found was what seemed to be a print-on-demand "paperback" version for a mere $24.95, with a pub date of March 29, 2024, "available to ship within 1-2 days."

Notably, this edition was listed as being in the "patriotic" American Standard Version translation (which is also in the public domain), as opposed to the "trusted King James Version." On the Trumpwood $60.00 Bible sale site, however, there's this little bit in the FAQ

What translations are available?
The God Bless The USA Bible is produced in the trusted King James (KJV) translation. 

Please Note:
We do not offer additional translations at this time.

At the time I saw this listing, there had been no customer reviews yet for the $24.95 "paperback," but I promised to update this when I began seeing reviews. The point seems moot now, however, because this particular edition no longer seems to be listed on Amazon.

The author of this version of the Greenwood Bible was listed as American Bible Ministries (you'll just have to take my word on it, since the listing is no longer on Amazon). The link still works, but clicking it can be confusing because there are several other editions of Bible listed, none of which seem to indicate American Bible Ministries either as an author or a publisher.

This was the product description on Amazon:

The God Bless The USA Bible is the ONLY Bible inspired by America’s most recognized patriotic anthem, God Bless The USA.

This American Bible invites you to explore God's word anywhere, at any time with easy-to-read clear print and a slim design. This Bible will deliver an inspiring experience in the patriotic American Standard Version translation. This Bible is perfect to take with you to church, or to Bible study, and to your work and on your travels. Let the world know you by your acts. As a true American Bible it also features:

• Lyrics to “God Bless The USA” by Lee Greenwood
• The US Constitution
• The Bill of Rights
• The Declaration of Independence
• The Pledge of Allegiance

This Bible has a high quality cover made of imitation leather graphics achieving our discounted price.

Product details indicated that the book was a standard trade book size and was 418 pages long.

• ASIN: B0CZJ53NDL
• Publisher: Independently published (March 29, 2024)
• Language:English
• Paperback: 418 pages
• ISBN-13: 979-8321139240
• Item Weight: 1.55 pounds
• Dimensions: 6 x 0.95 x 9 inches

But there was no "search inside" feature available, only a flat image of the front cover, which looked just like the front cover for the $60.00 edition. You could zoom over that image but you could not search inside the book.

My original comment about the above was this: 'But hey, it's cheaper than $60.00. Even if the cover is fake leather, and this is not THE edition specifically endorsed by the Mango Messiah, and even if it apparently doesn't have a "handwritten" version of the chorus to "God Bless The USA"... hey, it's got all of those important patriotic Murican documents in it along with the word-o-god, and it's got the flag on the cover, so really, what's not to love?'

I guess the fact that it doesn't exist any more (if it ever did) is what's not to love.

So what happened? A hack? An AI-generated listing? Or did the book actually exist, but the greedy sellers and promoters of the $60 version discovered it and had the listing removed?

Your guess is as good as mine. All I can tell you is that currently, if you type the ISBN or ASIN (which I listed in the product details above) in your search engine, the top result is a link to the Amazon page -- but when you click that link you get a cute picture of a doggy (presumably one of the "dogs of Amazon") and the message, "SORRY, we couldn't find that page." If you type the ASIN or ISBN into Amazon's search engine, you'll get a message that says, "No results... Try checking your spelling or use more general terms."

So I guess you're stuck with the $60 version for now.

If only it were just funny.
On one level, the tawdry Trump tome is just another in a long line of comical Trump grifts like the tacky gold high-tops, overpriced low-tops, and Trump toilet water that caused a deluge of well-deserved ridicule just last month. In fact, the Bible is being marketed and sold by the same folks who are selling the footwear and eau d'ouche. (I should also note that as of this posting on March 30, 2024, the Trump GoFundMe grift that's run by a billionaire Scientologist couple, and that I cited in the shoe-and-stinkum post and in a previous one, has exceeded $2 million sucker bucks.)

Not surprisingly the Internet has been working overtime to entertain itself with snarks and snipes about the God Bless The USA Bible. Among zillions of other offerings, an author at Religion News Service named Tyler Huckabee wrote on March 27, 2024 that the Trump Bible is the Bible that America deserves.

America, alas, does not deserve the Gideon Bible. A free gift just sitting there for anybody who might want to read it? Well, that just seems like a slap in the face to all the hard-working Americans who had to pay good money to buy their own Bibles! Maybe the Americans who want to read the Bible should have thought of that sooner and planned ahead instead of sitting around waiting for the Gideons to bail them out. 

No, the Gideon Bible may be ubiquitous but it does not capture the true spirit of the United States. For that, we must turn to a new kind of Bible, and a very different kind of salesman. We must turn to Lee Greenwood. We must turn to the God Bless the USA Bible. We must turn to America’s favorite Christian, former/future(?) President, convicted criminal and attempted insurrectionist Donald Trump...

...It’s the literary adaptation of “In God We Trust” on the dollar bill. It is the perfect encapsulation of American Christianity. It is the inevitable climax of white evangelicalism.

And that brings us directly to the part that isn't so funny. For even though it's comic relief on one level, on another level the Trump Bible is part of a much larger and seriously menacing Christofascist movement. Trump himself is basically a Christofascist tool in ways he probably doesn't realize (even as the fictional Cersei Lannister in Game Of Thrones didn't realize until too late that she was a tool of very powerful religious zealots, the Faith Militant).

The fact that so many folks who consider themselves “Christians” are apparently not the least bit outraged by Cheeto Jeezus embracing comparisons of his struggles to those of Original Jeezus shows that Trumpism really is a cult.

As for the evangelical “leaders” who are giving Trump a pass, their true motives have been apparent for decades: for them it’s all about power and ego and money rather than the teachings of Christ. In their (unholy) book, the end -- creating an American theocracy/plutocracy -- justifies the means, and at the moment, Trump is one of their most powerful means.

The fact that conservative Christians share Trump's sense of persecution reinforces the alliance. In an October 2022 article on The New Republic site, author Brynn Tannehill wrote, 'Conservative Christians have a deep sense of victimhood and fear about a secular America and are willing to end democracy to prevent it. As [political commentator] David Frum noted, “If conservatives become convinced that they cannot win democratically, they will not abandon conservatism, they will abandon democracy.”'

And we have all seen that Trump is an expert at playing the victim, and that he is all too willing to abandon democracy to achieve his own goals of remaining in power/getting back in power/staying in power indefinitely.

Looked at in this light it's not at all difficult to figure out why, despite their veneer of godliness and their willingness to judge almost anyone else who doesn't live up to their standards, the Christian reich leadership is more than willing to overlook Trump's "flaws." Rather than sanction him for his sins, they work overtime portraying him as an instrument of God who was sent to save America and the world from a host of imaginary enemies. They shamelessly stroke his ego and bask in his orange glow as they continually fuel, and and are fueled by, his messianic messaging.

We have to outvote the MAGAts and the Christofascists this November. It's going to be a long, hard campaign season, but American democracy and even world democracy depend upon the outcome in November.

In the meantime, we can expect more tacky Trump products -- not to mention more performative piety from Trump himself, whose lifelong creed, clearly, is, "Let us prey."

This post has been updated and amended since its original publication on March 30, 2024. ~ CC

Related
Donald Isn't the Only Trump Shilling Bibles: On the The Bulwark site, April 2, 2024, Bulwark political reporter Joe Perticone shared that Donald Trump Junior, aka DJTJ, aka Traitor Tot, has thrown his coke-addled support behind the We the People Bible. This Bible is considerably more pricey than Daddy's, retailing for $90. For the truly patriotic and/or faithful there are bundle options such as the "Liberty bundle" ($145) and the "Faith bundle" ($170).

Turns out this isn't new news; Traitor Tot has actually been touting this Bible since at least late 2022. But it's worth noting anyway.

Perticone's Bulwark article also offers an interesting history of other politically controversial Bibles in American public life, dating back to Thomas Jefferson's redacted Gospels, The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth. In more recent history, politically controversial Bibles have been various flavors of "patriotic" scripture that are closely tied to right-wing politics, so in this context, the Trump-endorsed Bibles aren't an aberration in and of themselves. And they wouldn't even be newsworthy but for the deeply amoral father and son's ludicrous posturing about embracing the values, religious or secular, upon which the United States of America was founded. 

Before you leave...
This has been, through what is no apparent fault of her own (excluding, perhaps karmic matters that are quite beyond her ability to comprehend), a nightmare of a year for the ruler of this Whirled. Money, alas, cannot make the nightmare go away, but it can make it easier to bear. Now more than ever, donations are urgently needed and profoundly appreciated. Here are some ways to do it:

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