The day after Groundhog Day

Just a couple of snippets before I'm off to do whatever it is I do on Saturdays. I don't care if the Punxster saw his shadow yesterday or not; it's bright and beautiful in the Bayou City today, though it's colder than a bear's ass, as a dear friend of the Rev's and mine likes to say.

Jesus loves platinum. Who knew?
I have just been informed about a new product that has been endorsed by several leading professional psychics, as well as Saint Germain and even Jesus Himself. What's really remarkable it that the product is approved by the FDA. Okay, I just made that up. The inside of the bottle is, however, "coated with FDA grade epoxy." How many other serums and elixirs and supplements can make that claim?

What's also remarkable is that taking this elixir can alter your aura. Just look at the cheap Photoshop trick amazing before-and-after photos in the ad below. (Click on the pic to get a larger and more readable version.)


At only $40.00 for a four-ounce bottle, this is a real good deal for the hucksters who are marketing it anyone who wants to clean up his or her energy fields.

Enough already!
The following phrases should be made illegal, on the grounds that I am sick of hearing and seeing them...

• "It's all good." NO, it's friggin' NOT all good, and saying it ad nauseam doesn't "make it so!"
• "Trust walk" (I was reminded of this grievously overused phrase once again when Christopher Locke sent me this link to a video clip of a LOHAS conference. BTW, the "trust walk" exercise itself is egregiously overused by New-Wage and corporate workshop leaders, the latter of whom seem to think it is some sort of "team building" exercise.)
  
• "Git 'er done!" (Okay, this one is generally not uttered by the same demographic that is so fond of the first two, but it is still intensely annoying.)

Also, y'all are on notice that Happy Dances are no longer even remotely cute or clever, particularly when performed by middle-aged people in business costumes.

So stop it, all of you!

Okay, I'm off to have fun with the Rev.

Another fragmented Friday

Just a few potshots and then I’m off to take care of business...

How it’s going "down there"
Here’s the latest from Extreme Lightworker Bryan James, who is working with "Chakra Queen" Shondra Burt and Mary, Mother of God to rescue 50 million lost souls from the Nether Regions:*

As of 12/4/06, about 90% have shown some movement (45 million), 85% (42.5 million) have opened their eyes, 15% are walking around with some help (7.5 million) and 1% without assistance (500K). More are starting to ask questions (5 million) such as "Who am I?", "Where am I?", "What is this place?" and "Why am I here?", and 125K are now starting to regain cognitive ability.

Meanwhile, this just in: More and more people on Bryan’s email list are losing cognitive ability, a necessary sacrifice in order to maintain balance in the Universe. Above-ground volunteers are still needed to help with the Nether Worlds project – no experience necessary, cognitive ability not required. Contact Bryan at the Circle of Lights web site for more info.

Who’s in charge now
In the email with the Nether Worlds Project progress report came this stunning announcement:

Divine Mother has NOW officially accepted dominion over the Earth
As of 12/4/06, The Holy Mother has officially taken dominion over the Earth, and will work with the Hosts of Heaven to implement changes that the people of Earth request as part of restoring the planet and leading her to ascension. Lightworkers should make their requests for changes through the appropriate officials as necessary. Remember, changes require our ‘permission’ before the Holy Ones can intervene in our society. The following Ascended Beings are now taking charge of, and will hear requests for changes in all aspects of world society:
Business and Commerce – El Morya [sic], in cooperation with Cosmic Connie, who has been appointed Monetary Unit Queen of the Planet. Please send as much of your monetary units as you can afford (US dollars only), to Connie, care of her blog**
Education – Melchizedek
Environment – Lady Athena
Government – St. Germaine***
Heath (sic) – White Buffalo Calf Women****
Religion – Maitrya [sic] Buddha

But remember, Mary’s in charge of it all. Go, Holy Mama! (That's El Moyra's mug on the blog today, by the way. I think someone ought to introduce him to Saint Germain, if you know what I mean. Of course Germain's pal, the drag queen Violet Flame, might get jealous...)

A tranny in The Secret?
I was looking at the list of "teachers" in the cult infomercial The Secret, and was struck by the description of the Rev. Doctor Michael Beckwith, D.D., whose profession is listed as "Visionary." The RevDoc was one of the guests on Part 1 of Larry King’s promotional piece for The Secret. On his November 6 SHAMblog post, Steve Salerno described Beckwith's appearance on the Larry King show as "surreally weird," musing that "in dress, speech, mannerisms and overall demeanor [he] looked as if his birth-name might really be Zormak From The Planet Woosabi-6."

Actually, I kind of like the RevDoc's dreadlocks, and besides, the guy obviously has a good heart. Twenty years ago he founded the Agape International Spiritual Center, described on the web site as a community "whose doors are open to all seekers in search of authentic spirituality, personal transformation and selfless service to humankind."

But it was Dr. Beckwith’s description on The Secret web site that intrigued me. He is listed there as "a non-aligned, trans-religious progressive." Now, "progressive" I understand – well, at least I think I do – but I am puzzled by the other terms. Trans-religious, for example. Does this mean he had a surgical procedure to change his religion? And non-aligned – does this mean his chakras are out of balance, or that he is not in sync with the Earth’s magnetic fields? However non-aligned he might be, and, for that matter, whatever planet he's from, he certainly seems to be in sync with the money stream.

All together now: "He’s just a sweet trans-religious from"….nah, doesn’t quite have the same ring to it.*****

Overused and much abused, continued
Is it just me, or are journalists using the word "iconic" way too much these days? Would that be merely to make them sound intelligent, or does it really mean something?

And then there's, "Having said that," or "That said, however..." Wouldn’t a simple "but" or "however" or even "on the other hand" be sufficient, at least once in a while? Having said that, I realize that people sometimes just have a deep need to sound more thoughtful than they really are. Good Goddess, I could be one of those very people.

And... memo to all sitcom writers: "Not so much" is not so much clever any more as it is overused to the point of obnoxiousness. It isn't remotely cute, although I have been known to use it and probably will again, though not so much as others who make their living writing comedy and often have to fall back on the overused crap when they run out of ideas.

I know, of course, I have my own writing quirks and overused phrases. For example, if I use the terms, "In any event" or "In any case" or "At any rate" one more time, I’m going to have to give myself a serious talking-to. And I'm sure Whirled Musings is littered with other overused phrases. But then again, this blog is informal, off-the-top-of-my-head writing, usually executed in a great hurry – in other words, not the kind of writing I do in my day job.

Or maybe I'm just lazy.

PS – I also realize that I’m often snarky on this blog. But it’s only because I am using WM as a tool to help me embrace my inner bitch…I mean, my shadow self. And so off I go, chasing my shadow out of this little room and into the big bright day. But I’ll be back snarking again just as soon as I can.

* I wouldn't trust that Nether Regions link if I were you.
**Okay, I made the Cosmic Connie part up. But if the spirit so moves you…
*** Actually the preferred spelling is St. Germain. Unless Bryan is talking about Saint Germaine Cousin.
**** I am not sure if Bryan intended this ("Buffalo Women") to be plural or if he just has a really bad proofreader.
***** In regard to RevDoc Beckworth's bizarre appearance, however, we would do well to remember the immortal words of Dr. Frank-n-Furter: "Don't get strung out, by the way I look / Don't judge a book by its cover..."

Saturday snippets

On Friday, Whirled Musings turned three months old. That’s a whole quarter year and, considering my diminutive attention span, it’s quite an achievement. To celebrate, I am giving myself the weekend off, or most of it, anyway. I just wanted to throw out a few bits and pieces before I head out into the glorious fall weather with The Rev.

Neale and pray
The movie we’ve all been waiting for was officially released in theatres across the US on Friday. I’m speaking, of course, about Conversations With God, a film based on the cottage industry created by Neale Donald Walsch, to whom I paid tribute last month. Neale made his name by chatting with the Creator of All That Is, or at least with a voice he claims to be the Creator. Naturally, the critics have weighed in. (Rest assured, Walsch fans, it won’t hurt Neale’s bottom line.)

Please, I’ve had enough
Had you ever stopped to consider the possibility that if the words "absolutely" and "awesome" were outlawed, or at least added to the list of Words You Can’t Say On TV, all of the morning talk/news shows would simply have to shut down? Come to think of it, most of TV would have to shut down. Hmmm….let me get started on my campaign…Wanna join me?

Other words and phrases that are no longer cool, clever, cute or even remotely original:

• "At the end of the day" (the sooner the sun sets on this one, the better)
• "You do the math" (used even when there isn't anything remotely related to math involved)
• "[Fill in the blank] envy" (For example, there are all sorts of businesses with the word "envy" in their name, e.g., "Massage Envy." I am not even sure what the word "envy" means in this context; I just know it is way overused.)
• "Not so much" (used as a comically outrageous understatement. It's mandatory that every contemporary sitcom include this phrase at least once, followed by the laugh track)
• "That bad boy" (you know it’s egregiously overused when the bald middle-aged guy on CBS’ Early Show describes a friggin’ pumpkin pie as "that bad boy." It happened on Friday. BTW, the The Early Show is definitely one that would have to go off the air if "absolutely" and "awesome" were outlawed on TV.)

And that's just the short list (oops, another cliché). I'm sure you can add several to the list. While you're at it, will someone explain to me what uber really means, so I can use it a few times and sound more intelligent than I am before uber becomes a cliché too? Oops, too late.

Super Intendo
As you know if you’ve read previous posts on this blog, "intentions" are the must-have spiritual items du jour. But they have to be powerful intentions; all the edge-thinking hustledorks are powerfully intending these days, and you don't want to be left behind. I just received an email about yet another intention-happy web site, the The Intenders of the Highest Good, that will help you powerfully intend, or "step into your power." The folks at this site are now offering a free 44-day email message service called "The Intenders Bridge" to get you started on your journey. Also available are intention "passalong cards," such as the one pictured above, to help you hustle the Universe so it'll cough up all the stuff you want. Or all of the stuff the person you give the card to wants; I'm not entirely sure how these cards are supposed to work. I just know that they're a bargain at only $80.00 for 500 cards. And don’t miss the inspiring intenders' movie. Turn your speakers down, though; the inspiring music is a bit cacophonous.

Other places to hang out
I hope you’re still paying regular visits to Steve Salerno’s SHAMblog, which, unlike this blog, actually contains serious posts and discussions, with a healthy dose of humor.

And while schlepping through the blogosphere the other day, I came across yet another noteworthy blog, Christopher Locke’s Mystic Bourgeoisie, a work dedicated to "numinous lunacy and the sanctimonious narcissism of the New Age." Based in Boulder, Colorado, where New Age hooey abounds, Locke, aka "Rageboy," is the author of numerous books, articles and rants about the Internet, business, and contemporary culture. On Mystic B, he has devoted himself to documenting "the unlikely story of how America slipped the surly bonds of earth & came to believe in signs & portents that would make the middle ages blush." Chris has come up with a term that perfectly describes the New Age/pop spirituality business: "the spiritual-industrial complex." One caveat: this is another site geared to make you actually think. I’m easy on you, Chris won’t be. But to take the edge off the cerebral content, the site is chock-full of appealing graphics as well. Check it out.

One Noir thing, Zen I'll go
I've lampooned the new-ish movie genre called "Spiritual Cinema" here before, but then I came across some info on a new indie film, Zen Noir, from L.A. filmmaker Marc Rosenbush. This one just might be worth viewing. The trailer (for which I suggest you turn your speakers up, in case you muted them to watch that intender movie) leads me to believe that this project is a result of what happens when spirituality refuses to take itself too seriously. We need more of that.

That’s it…I’m off to romp with The Rev.

One week and counting

The week shall inherit the mirth
Today is Whirled Musings' one-week anniversary. Thank you to the three or four of you who have visited, and all two of you who have commented so far. No, make that three now. :-) Since I was so long-winded yesterday, I decided to take a short break from "Con-tificating" today and just serve up some sight bites.

Funny, you don’t look blue-ish (but I might)
Someone asked me why the colors look a little bit off around here. Ambience, baby, ambience! No, actually, I am going through the obligatory "blue period" that all serious artists and creative types go through. Okay, not really. I just like blue. So if the book covers and people here look a little blue around the gills – or if things that are normally blue-ish look more rosy than usual – you're not color blind. I've just been swapping the reds and blues in the photos. It's a cheap trick that I do in a graphic previewing and editing application called ThumbsPlus. So, now you know: that’s really a fragment of a Monarch butterfly, and in real life, Kinky is pinker and so am I.

Absolutely annoying
If I hear one more celeb or random interviewee on TV answer a question with, "Absolutely!" I am going to go absolutely bonkers. Whatever happened to, "Yes"? Or, "That’s right"? Or, "That’s correct"? Or even, "You bet"?

Or has everything actually become absolute of late, and no one told me about it?

Not that I expect my complaint to make any difference. Back in the late 1980s, I wrote extensively on the egregious overuse of the word "awesome," and nearly one generation later, people of all ages are still using that friggin’ word to describe everything that isn't actually loathsome. Stop it now!

Your support is desperately needed.
August is Magnetic Ribbon Awareness Month. Please show your support of the magnetic ribbon industry, and plaster as many of those things on your car as you can. If you are Ann Coulter, please place them all over your computer screen as well.

Numbers don't lie
The numbers for Cosmic Relief just keep increasing...now, according to Amazon, they have reached a whopping "#2,853,024."

That happens to be the sales rank, not the sales figure, but still, it's a pretty big number, don't you think?

Here's more exciting news: C.R. is holding steady at a five-star-average review, based on one review by a person I know. (I didn't ask her to do the review; she liked my book and asked me if it was okay if she wrote something nice about it. Do you think I would turn that down?)

I believe if I think positive thoughts and say enough affirmations, and visualize that big number above as an actual sales figure for C.R., it will come to be. Of course there aren't nearly that many copies of the book in print...but if I think good thoughts long enough and hard enough, who knows what might happen?

So I'm going to get busy.

Bleep this…
The underground hit movie, What The Bleep Do We Know? has recently been released in a new director’s-cut edition. Subtitled, Down The Rabbit Hole, it comes in a Quantum Edition (of course). This new and improved version has less of the Marlee Matlin story line of the original, and more stuff from scientists. You can tell by the cover of the new DVD that it is much more scientific than the original, because it has a big cartoon scientist head. I am making a rare exception here and not swapping the reds and blues on the respective graphics, mainly because when I tried it, the smaller basketballs on the original cover looked disturbingly like rabbit turds. They still sort of do, but the effect is not as pronounced. So...the original Bleep is the blue-ish one, and the new edition is golden.

And just in case you’re not aware of it, there is a whole Bleep lifestyle afoot in our culture now, which means, naturally, lots and lots and lots of merchandise. To find out more, go the official What The Bleep website.

I knew you’d want to know.