A collection of uncollected thoughts

Today's offering, Dear Ones, is one of those "snippets" posts composed of several snarky bits, rather than being just one long snark about a single topic. Perhaps it is posts like this one that prompted a couple of folks on Rate A Blog to write that Whirled Musings is a senseless waste of time because it's just a collection of rambling, unrelated stuff. To wit:

viewed and rated said...

Here is another senseless Blog....

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/
whirled musings - Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie

Waste of time -
a collection of rambling unassociated postings that amount to no more than gobbly [sic] gook on the net.

July 16, 2008

Although that comment was posted in July of 2008, I didn't discover it until December. I wrote a response on Rate A Blog, speculating that I had either stepped on someone's toes or that the person making the comment simply wasn't aware of, or interested in, the usual subject matter of my blog. I added that there is indeed a common thread among most of my posts, and that on those occasions when I veer off topic, I warn my readers in advance. I also Tweeted about the critical remark on Twitter, and provided a link to the thread on Rate A Blog on which it appeared.

This apparently inspired someone else to follow the link and post her or his own remark:

nyuk nyuk said...

I just visited ......

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/whirled musings

I can live without it.

An array of uncollected thoughts that assemble a hangover, ha ha ha

December 20, 2008

"An array of uncollected thoughts that assemble a hangover?" Now, that really makes sense.

Anyway, on to my "uncollected thoughts":

Calling on Dreaming-Bear
I've had some fun on this blog at the expense of a Maui poet and performance artist who calls himself Dreaming-Bear Kanaan. Recently Dreaming-Bear, or someone I believe to be D-B, wrote a rather lengthy private email to me explaining things from his point of view. He says I have misrepresented him on several counts. Although he seemed to imply that I should share his message on my blog, he didn't exactly say that. I immediately sent him an email in response, addressing some of the points he made and asking him if I could indeed publish his email on my blog.

I didn't receive a response, so after a couple of weeks I re-sent my request from another email address, in the event that his spam filter might have blocked out my Juno address. I still have not heard from him.

What do I have to do...send smoke signals?

Look, Dreaming-Bear, if you are reading this, please do know that I would love to publish your letter to me (minus the phone number you provided, of course), but I need your permission. Email me at cosmic.connie@juno.com and let me know.

I may be snarky, but I do try to be fair.

PS added in February 2009: I finally did hear back from from Dreaming-Bear, and now I'm the one who's being remiss about responding, as he has asked me to phone him so we could talk. I have yet to do that, partly because of time constraints and partly because I am so not a "phone person," preferring in-person communication and, lacking that, email and Twitter. However, I did want to add this capsule version of his messages, as he still didn't exactly grant permission for me to publish them verbatim. In fact he said he wished to be removed altogether from my blog, and has hinted more than once about karmic consequences.

In essence, Dreaming-Bear feels it is unfair of me to publish some of this stuff, especially the gossipy bits from people who claimed to have known him. (Since these commenters are anonymous, neither he nor I can verify whether or not they do know him.) D-B says that many of the things I wrote about, or that others commented about, are part of his past, adding that we all have things in our past that we may not necessarily be proud of. He says he has been in a committed relationship for over a year with a lady whom he loves very much. And he adds that he wishes that the people who don't like him could either forgive him or just stop ragging on him. (Keep in mind I'm paraphrasing here, just trying to capture the essence of what he said.)

He points out that there is nothing wrong with being an actor/performance artist, which is all that he is really claiming to be. He says he has never held himself up as a perfect being, a guru, or a spiritual leader. Now, my own take on this is that a hint of the risque would actually enhance his image as a performance artist. It worked for the late Jim Morrison and countless others. However, D-B also indicated that he is trying to get away from some of that over-the-top nekkid stuff and these days is concentrating more on being a bearer of peace and tenderness.

He also expressed puzzlement about why I would go after him when he's not the fish I want to fry. I have to concede that when compared to the likes of Kevin Trudeau or David Schirmer and any of dozens of New-Wage hustledorks, Dreaming-Bear is relatively benign. He's been an easy target for me because of his mystical-poet/performance shtick.

Most importantly (from an accuracy standpoint), Dreaming-Bear says he was not faking the wheelchair stint. He explained that he was in a bad car accident years ago and has had several surgeries to repair resulting damage. He says he has been in and out of the hospital for ten years and is legally disabled.

Some say I'm going out of my way to be "fair and balanced," which really doesn't fit into my job description as a snarky blogger. But I have never held much to job descriptions (and besides, we all remember what Emerson said about "a foolish consistency").

In any case, at the very least this is about getting facts right. And where I have been factually wrong I certainly want to correct that. As for the anonymous critics and snarkers, they are welcome to come forth with their true identities on this forum, or to communicate with Dreaming-Bear directly. I am not removing their comments, even as I am not removing the comments of the equally anonymous defenders of D-B, who speculated that I snark because I am full of rage and self-hatred.

And I stand by my own snarky opinions about Dreaming-Bear's public persona and performances, as those, I believe, fall under the umbrella of opinion – arts criticism, if you will.

As always, I welcome opinions and feedback from all.

"I paid five grand to ride in a Rolls, and all I got was this dumb blog."

Some of my friends and allies, I fear, are just a little bit too cynical for their own good. My pal Elizabeth, for example, recently commented about Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale's ongoing series of Rolls-Royce Phantom MasterMind sessions, for which he charges participants $5,000.00 a head. In a comment on one of my recent posts, she wrote, "$5,000 for [riding in that] Rolls? Even the Spitzer hooker did not charge so much."

And yet the success stories about the Phantom riders are pouring in, and they're pretty darned convincing, if you ask me. For example, there is Barry Thomas Bechta, a dedicated Joebot with a mega-watt smile and, apparently, a heart full of hope. Judging by the pics on his web site, he seems to be living his dream of donning a very shiny blue jacket (his lucky jacket, I'm guessing) and having his picture taken with various New-Wage gurus.

So what did Barry get from his recent Phantom ride? What remarkable successes has he realized since that magical evening in Austin? Well, for one thing, it would appear that he is now able to deal masterfully with the disappointment and frustration of not being able to afford to do the stuff he really wants to do. Here's what he wrote in a recent blog post about "Seeing and Being Abundance":

Let’s say, I wanted to go to [Joe Vitale's] Attract Wealth Seminar being held in Austin this weekend (I did).

Let’s say, I did not have the cash flow to attend Attract Wealth Seminar (I did not See Abundance).

Let’s say, I want to Be Abundance in the absence of Attract Wealth Seminar (I do).

Let’s say, I want to increase my ability to See Abundance Be Abundance See Abundance (I do).

Then I can use, Attract Wealth Seminar or any other sign of Abundance to enhance my ability to See Abundance Be Abundance See Abundance.

Many would say that kind of thinking is only wishful thinking.

I ask you to hear me out.

In my past, I would have said something like, “woe is me” because I could not go to Attract Wealth Seminar. In my past, I would have cushioned the blow of my “inability to afford” by saying something like, “The seminar probably isn’t going to be that good really.” In my past, I would have been upset and disappointed.

Zero Limits and Ho’oponopono says that every experience brings up for a person either memory or Miracles.

In my past, I would come from memory, and say “woe is me” and would have been upset and disappointed.

In this present moment, the only moment we ever have access to, when I am able to act without memory, I am able to act from Inspiration and Miracles come forth.

Then the Pure Potential Energy of Life knows what is possible for me.

My ability to talk about Abundance being present (and more importantly feeling that Abundance is Present Right Now) even in the face of apparent lack of Abundance, sets me up to see more Abundance in everything...

...From a place of Abundance Awareness, I can See Abundance where few others would See it or Be it.

And now let's look at the official CCT (Cosmic Connie Translation) of the above:

I wanted to go to Joe's Attract Wealth seminar in Austin, even though I'd just recently gone on the Rolls-Royce Phantom Ride with Joe. But even though the fee for the Attract Wealth Seminar was less than $800.00, I didn't have enough money to go, mainly because I'd blown five grand, plus travel and accommodation expenses, to get taken on that Phantom Ride. You'd think that Joe could have at least given me a scholarship and paid for my travel expenses so I could shill for him at the seminar and maybe get more people to sign up for future Phantom Rides. But noooooo.

But I'm okay with that, really I am! I don't feel at all upset and disappointed. After all, I did get taken for a ride! By Joe! In a Rolls!

And so we can be comforted in knowing that no matter how non-abundant Barry's life appears to be, now or in the future, he'll always have Austin.

Another Phantom success story is Wendy G. Young, whom Joe recently Tweeted about on Twitter:

Phantom Rider Wendy Young launched her blog due to the Rolls-Royce Mastermind she attended. http://www.wendygyoung.com

I eagerly jumped to Wendy's blog to check it out. I had actually visited her blog before, and had even written a comment to it back in November. That was in response to a post she'd written in September during Hurricane Ike. At the time she wrote the Ike post, her electricity was still on, and she intended to keep it on via her own powerful intentions. Ike wasn't going to get the better of her, nosiree. I politely wrote to her and asked her if focusing on keeping her power on had worked, but she has yet to answer. I have to say I am pretty disappointed.

Now I have a feeling she won't be answering me at all, as she's probably far too busy with her new and improved blog, as well as planning workshops where she will be teaching a brand new technology, which apparently centers around a Manifestation Grid she created to help you manifest your heart's desire. I am sure it's all very scientifical.

Her new blog has her pretty excited:

So just this past week I launched my new blog..I call it a soft launch! So once I feel like I really know what I am doing I will do the real launch. But really it is all real. Maybe I called it the soft launch because I was not fully committed to my new project.

Actually if I am being really truthful…this is all about my new life! My new business. The new me. New friends. New experiences. Maybe I will even attract a new boyfriend in the process!

Wow. All this from just one rolling MasterMind session. It looks like that was five grand well spent, Wendy! Indeed, she seems utterly thrilled about her new projects and her new self.

In truth, however, she was no slouch in her pre-Phantom Rider days, if this link is any indication. She created an audio series called, "Where Does Money Come From?" The series contains secrets to wealth creation from an impressive array of experts. For instance, there's Brad Yates, Master Tapper, who is really into...well...tapping. (I know it's too late for the holiday season just past, but you might want to bookmark Brad's Christmas tapping video and use it to help you get through next Christmas. Do yourself a favor and follow the Xmas tap link now. I guarantee it will cheer you up.) Also in Wendy's line-up is a Benny-Hillish-looking chap named Dr. Stephen Bacque, aka "The Homeless Millionaire." Dr. Bacque is obviously breaking new ground in the New-Wage industry, as most New-Wage hucksters are formerly homeless millionaires. Perhaps most noteworthy in Wendy's lineup is yet another Scientist Bob, noted quantum physics expert and Secret star Bob Doyle. Follow that link and be prepared to be positively blinded with science.

But all of that is nothing, I'm sure, compared to what Wendy is now planning.

Yet some of my friends continue to be doubters. When I sent an email about Wendy's new site to a friend of mine, he responded, "Wait a minute... So this broad spills five G’s for a spin in a taxi…and the ONLY idea she got was to ... let me get this straight ... her BIG idea was to LAUNCH A FRIGGIN’ BLOG?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF! THAT'S the big idea!?! A blog! These people are insane!"

But then my pal apparently reconsidered, and he wrote to me again a little later:

My last email got me wondering. If *I* were to take a ride in the JV Taxi, what awesome ideas would *I* get? Let me dream a little. Perhaps...

... I would decide to live my life-long dream of becoming a rodeo clown.

... JV's wisdom would impel me to reach for the stars and get a paper route!

... Or I could possibly start a stamp collection! (Yes! you heard that right. A STAMP collection. Do I dare?)

... I've been too scared to dare this on my own, but maybe with JV's help, I could be coached into buying a FAX machine. (I really need help with this one, it scares me so.)

My mind reels with the possibilities! I'm dizzy here…

My friend’s inspiration was downright contagious, and this in turn inspired me to get busy fine-tuning the program I mentioned at the very end of a post I wrote last October. As it happens, Ron and I are getting ready to launch a series of rolling MasterMind sessions of our own. This is truly the opportunity of a lifetime for you; for a mere ten grand in US dollars, you get to ride around in our Honda Odyssey mini-van with us and bask in the presence of our scintillating personalities. Why ten grand instead of merely five? you ask. Well, it's because there are two of us MasterMinders. That's twice the value!

What will you get from the experience? That is totally up to you. We create each Mini-Van MasterMind experience as we go, so you never know what will happen!

Who knows, we may even have a surprise guest or two, such as my friend the future rodeo clown, who may share some documents that he faxed with his new fax machine. We might bring a couple of our dogs too, and in the future, if things go as planned, we might even bring a minature donkey foal along. (You – yes, you! – will get to clean up the donkey poop, and we won't charge you extra for doing so.) Of course, dinner is included with the ride; you can even super-size your order. If you're interested, send me an email. Or better yet, just send me the ten thousand dollars and continue to enjoy my scintillating personality via this blog, and Ron's scintillating personality via his blog and his participation on Steve Salerno's blog, from the comfort of your own home. You don't need those large fries anyway. And if the Universe guides you to do so, feel free to send more than ten thousand dollars.

Dream big!

Neale and pray for forgiveness
By now you've probably heard the story about how Neale Donald Walsch, who has made his fortune by convincing people that he and God have a very special friendship, got himself into a spot of trouble recently for plagiarizing a heartwarming Christmas story. Neale has apologized profusely, saying the plagiarism was accidental. Candy Chand, the author of the plagiarized story, isn't buying his explanation.

Will Candy sue? That remains to be seen, but I wouldn't be suprised. "Well," wrote my pal Chris Locke of the Mystic Bourgeoisie blog, "at least God is unlikely to sue." But Chris is wrong about that, as I explained at the end of a September 2006 blog post:

In late August, God sued Walsch on several counts, including invasion of privacy, unauthorized publication of private conversations, and numerous inaccuracies (particularly in the volumes, Marriage To God and Temporary Separation From God). God is asking for an unspecified amount in damages, as well as generous royalties from all [Conversations With God] books and auxiliary products, and 50% of the profits from the film. Since logistical difficulties prevent God from managing funds in the physical realm, She/He/It has stipulated that damages and royalties are to be paid directly to the Cosmic Connie Foundation, care of this blog.

The case is scheduled to be heard before the Supreme Being Court next summer. Meanwhile, the Cosmic Connie Foundation is still waiting to receive those royalties from Neale. And I must say that God is getting very impatient.

Shift work takes on a whole new meaning
Despite all of the earnest efforts by the New-Wage leaders who truly have our best interests at heart, and are therefore urging us to ignore the mainstream media with all of its bad news, there really is a little bit of an economic crisis in the US of A and even in other parts of the world.

You don't believe me? Well, consider this: The Onion, that impeachable source of all the news that no one else will print, recently reported that many Americans are having to work a fourth shift in a perpendicular dimension in order to make ends meet.

Look, we always knew this day would come. It's time to stop living in denial, especially since we're all going to be shifting into the fourth dimension (or higher) anyway within the next few years. And who knows what 2012 will bring!

Here's the grim story.

"Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage..."
I know the previous piece was a little disturbing, Dear Ones, so I will end this post on an up note.

As you probably know about me by now, I am never afraid to admit when I am wrong. And I have been oh, so wrong about The Secret. My basic premise from the beginning was that although The Secret was very profitable for its creators and the wise teachers who starred in it, it was not all that effective as a tool for changing one's life.

But I have just read a deeply touching story about how one man's life was changed for the better by The Secret. You may very well have seen this story, as it now seems to be making the rounds on Twitter and elsewhere on the Net. But just in case you have not, I'll share it with you. This is the tale of a man who was a prisoner, not only of the criminal justice system but also of his own deep despair. The Secret saved him. And he in turn went on to inspire many, many people by sharing his story.

Here is the link. (And just in case Amazon gets wise to it and takes it down at some point, I have preserved the original comment (though not the ensuing discussion) as a jpeg; double-click on the image and you'll be able to read it.)

Well, that's it for now. Enjoy what's left of the weekend, and I'll be back soon with more unrelated, uncollected thoughts that assemble like a hangover. Or something like that.

More drive-bys...

It's Monday and I suppose I should be working. But I'm taking a break for a few drive-by snarks and a couple of tributes.


Blonded by the light
As much as I like and respect Australians and long to visit Australia, I have to say that increasingly, the Land Down Under has become a center of New-Wage silliness. Besides the Blunder From Down Under, David Schirmer (who recently had to sell that big mansion he always bragged about), and the frenzy of ACCESS activity down there, we also have the Aussie Blonde phenomenon, as noted recently on Jody Radzik's Guruphiliac blog. When it comes to insipid New-Wage Aussie blondeness, The Secret's Rhonda Byrne was, apparently, only the beginning.

F'rinstance, there is Miranda ("previously known as 'Holden'"), whom some have called "Satsang Barbie." She's cute as a button, but there's more, oh, so much more to her than cuteness. She also has deep Presence, and I know that because I read it on her web site:

Most apparent is Miranda‘s depth of Presence, experience, and integration of approach, which translates in her ease in speaking to people in their language and level. Miranda is renowned for her profound capacity to help people open to direct experience of Truth and unwind their habits of suffering.

And then there's a gal calling herself "Isira," who claims to be part aborigine, so of course that makes her deeply wise and astoundingly mystical in ways that you and I can only hope to be. (I dare you to watch the video on Jody's post in its entirety.) Isira's mission is to help us all embrace the truth that "You are here to be all that you can be." Rumor (or "rumour") has it that Isira bought that line cheap from the US Army.

Isira, according to one of her web sites, began performing at a very early age:

Born in South Australia, she began her path of awakening at the age of four when she experienced chakra healing and balancing through spontaneous meditative states, and practiced yoga without training or outside knowledge. Her early life suddenly and consistently displayed heightened psychic, artistic, healing and clairvoyant faculties, which naturally lead to ascetic practices.

What Isira has to offer is, in blogger Jody's words....

...this pastiche of self-help un-helpfulness and ignorance-reinforcing, occluding concepts about nondual truth, all wrapped up in a pink bow of "Look at how special my enlightenment has made me! Oh, and aren't I pretty hot for a sage?"

In the comments section accompanying his post, he noted, "...there are Aussie blondes everywhere willing to sell sh-t on a cracker, calling it spiritual truth in their rush to distribute their own pathological narcissism."

For years I've been saying that I've gotta find a scam, or at least a really good shtick. The problem is that there are just too many to choose from. Well, now my search is narrowing. As I said on Jody's blog, since I have the pathological narcissism down pat anyway, I am seriously thinking of perfecting my Aussie accent and becoming one of those phony enlightened Aussie guru-ettes.

Frankly, even though I've no desire to go blonde, I think I can do cute and insipid just as well as the next gal, and I look great in white gauze-y garments, except when my fake tan bleeds on them. So maybe I should wear tan gauze-y garments. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Jody encouraged my career choice, saying, "If you do it, we will support you with many posts of profuse praise... for 10% of your take and a $10g down payment." Another Guruphiliac reader, "Kevinanda," chimed in, "Great! Upfront corruption is what we want!"

That's really not corruption, though; that would just make Guruphiliac my agent. I may be on my way to a brand new career.

Neale and pray that you, too, can be happier than the Big Guy!
Speaking of insipid, Neale Donald Walsch, who has made a fortune writing books and committing workshops and perpetrating bad movies about the voices in his head, has belatedly jumped on the Law Of Attraction bandwagon. The title of his newest book, Happier Than God, almost sounds like a big "Neener, neener!" to the Big Guy, but the truth is that he means no disrespect to the Creator of the Universe. Neale just really, really believes that life was meant to be good. The voices told him so.

Here in a nutshell is the premise of his new opus: Life was meant to be happy. You were meant to be happy. And if you're already happy, you were meant to be happier. Even if you're very happy, you can be even happier. How happy? Well, happier than God, that's how happy!

That's really all you need to know about the book, so you don't even need to buy it. After all, Neale is already happy enough. He has those voices to entertain him, and those thousands of other folks who are willing to pay to hear what the voices say. So he doesn't need you. Just get out there and get happy! And if you've a mind to, send me the money you would have spent on Happier Than God.

And speaking of Rhonda...
The creator of the world's most successful New-Wage infomercial may end up regretting that she Byrne'd a few of her original co-creators. The latest news in the pending lawsuit by Drew Heriot, director of the original DVD, is that the case will be heard in the US instead of Australia. Rhonda's legal eagles were trying to get it heard in Australia, which would have been extra expense and hardship for Drew, who's now living in L.A. Rhonda lives in the US as well, but presumably has lots more travel money than Drew. Here's the scoop.

The horse is the new dolphin
By this I don't mean that our equine friends have suddenly started getting themselves entangled in tuna fishermen's nets. I mean that horses have been co-opted by New Wage ninnies. Okay, as far as I know, no one is (yet) claiming that horses are an enlightened race of beings sent here from another dimension to aid us in the coming Galactic Shift... but there's still a lot of mystical horse sh-t being peddled these days. You can't go around the Net these days without stepping in some. I really am tempted to believe that horses have nearly upstaged dolphins on the New-Wage MVP list.

It was inevitable, I suppose, given that in recent years a gimmick known as Equine Assisted Psychotherapy has gained in popularity. And as psychotherapy goes, so goes the New Wage (and the selfish-help industry in general). There's even a professional association dedicated to healing with horses, the Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association, or EAGALA.

Various New-Wagers are trying to make a living by sharing the Magical Spirit of horses, in one way or another. I've written about a few of them previously. For example, Gary Douglas, founder of the aforementioned ACCESS, has a horse shtick. Then there's the Harmony With Horses program, perpetrated by Expansion Coach ^TM Christine Cole, where horses teach you about the Law Of Attraction.

And just the other day I stumbled across another company: The Horse Connection in Willow City, Texas. The Horse Connection is run by Nikki Theisinger, who is also a Minister of the Acadamie of Light (a wacko New-Wage clearinghouse, but that's a topic for another blog post). The Horse Connection works with adults and troubled children, teaching them the Magic of the Horse:

Our children have become attached to the Magic of the Horse and that Magic was reflected in the delight and the Joy that was found in the Heart of the Horse. The children grew stronger in their desire to ride and were able to whisper their thoughts to each horse as they rode through the countryside. Before long the Magical Horses grew wings and were able to take flight through the magic of the childrens [sic] laughter. And soon the story of the magical winged horse spread through all the lands. As we observe the magic that still happens by Joining the Heart of each Child with the Horse we see the Joy reflected in mirror of our own HEARTS...and we live happily ever after.

Join us and let the Spirit of the Horses bring out "the kid in you"!

And if the horses don't do it, the unicorns and butterflies and rainbows will. One of the things they do at The Horse Connection, judging from some of the pictures on their site, is to teach disadvantaged, differently-abled and "special" kids to deface horses with graffiti. That's "Willie" you see in the picture.

Willie is also the most patient and loving horse for the children who come to the summer camps. Notice how he allows them to paint their lovely designs all over his body. He is truly an Equine Healer with a huge heart of gold allowing his body to become the canvas for their therapy and enjoyment.

This kind of gives a whole new meaning to the term, "paint horse," doesn't it?

Speaking of which, I just recently learned that "pinto" and "paint" are not identical terms in the world of horses. Maybe you knew that, but I didn't. A "pinto," as you may know, is a horse with a splotchy color pattern, but a "paint" is a specific breed of pinto with known Quarter Horse and/or Thoroughbred bloodlines. (I suppose it's sort of the equine equivalent of being "part Cherokee Indian.")

I've always liked horses, but since I live around them now I have taken it upon myself to learn more about them. A frustrating hobby I recently undertook was learning horse colors, or trying to learn them, but I don't think I'll ever get it right. It's all much more complicated than you might think. If you thought it was just a simple matter of black, white, gray, red, spotted or palomino (which, of course, is a color pattern and not a breed – even I knew that), well, have I got news for you. Horse colors in general are very complex and, if you can believe it, controversial. According to the Wiki article on the subject...

"Discussion, research, and even controversy continues about some of the details, particularly those surrounding spotting patterns, color sub-shades such as "sooty" or "flaxen," and markings."

See, even horse people can't agree on all of this stuff.

The more I read about horse colors the more confused I get. I am just about to give up on my pitiful efforts to figure out the differences between a "dun" and a "buckskin," or a "tobiano" and a "sabino," or a "roan" and a "rabicano," or a "perlino" and a "cremello," or a "serrano" and a "poblano"...oh, wait, maybe those last two aren't horse colors (you SEE how confusing it can get? My brain hurts!). Anyway, I suppose I could continue to study equine coloration, and it's possible that there would come a day when I would finally understand it, but I am thinking that maybe it doesn't really matter after all, especially since I suspect that horse people are just making these words up as they go along anyway.

I do know one thing, though. Don't get me wrong; I'm all for teaching disadvantaged children and troubled adults about the wonders of equine companionship. But graffiti belongs on public buildings, restroom doors and railroad cars, not on horses.

Mojo's blogaversary card to me
My new pal Mojo, whose Craptacular blog never fails to delight me, did a little tribute to Whirled Musings in honor of this blog's second birthday. Here 'tis.

The Tweet life with Blair Warren
I love reading anything by my pal Blair Warren. Here are some gems from his "favorites" page on Twitter:

Sell bullsh-t and you make money, then enemies. Sell truth and you just make enemies.

When toddlers shut their eyes to make reality go away, it's funny. But when adults do the same with the Law of Attraction, it's tragic.

Some say we can change things merely by observing them, but I've been observing these people for years and their story hasn't changed a bit.

If a friend never says anything that makes you question the way you see the world, give him a cracker and go find yourself a new friend.

And there's much more where that came from. Blair also occasionally posts on his Crooked Wisdom blog, and I'm hoping he's working on a couple of books, such as an update to his No-Nonsense Guide To Enlightenment.

Well, that's it for now, cowpokes. I'm going to get back to work. Then The Rev and I are going to batten down the hatches, because storms are brewing in the area. There's a hurricane in the making (Edouard), and tornado and flash-flood watches are in effect around here as well, and we may lose our Internet for a while, as we always do when it even thinks about raining. I guess I can use the down time to get back to studying horse colors.

Manifestinfestation

This may be akin to offering a box of Teuscher champagne truffles to a chocoholic and/or alcoholic who’s trying to quit, but I’m going to venture out on a limb and suggest that if you are suffering from that newly-named malady known as manifrustration (thanks again to Steven Sashen**), I might have just the solution. I am going to suggest something truly groundbreaking: Instead of seeking Cosmic Relief in places such as my Whirled or Steven’s blog or any of a number of other places (see my "links" list for more suggestions), maybe you just need more of the same old crap that got you where you are now. It’s very possible that you simply haven’t experienced enough life-changing books or workshops or video clips. Perhaps, then, you need a serious overdose of same. Maybe that will finally propel you into a new dimension of awareness and unlimited health, wealth, and happiness.

Hey, it could work. Think of it as kind of a homeopathic (or homeopathetic) principle of "like cures like," except in this case you're not using minuscule doses of the pathogen; you're o.d.'ing on it.

My curmudgeonly pal Christopher Locke of Mystic Bourgeoisie just sent me an email alerting me to a new and exciting project that seems tailor-made for people whose deep-seated hunger for inspiration drives them to watch, promote, star in, or even want to make their own New-Wage moviemercials and miracle-infested TV shows. Now there’s an entire TV station devoted to all of your deepest desires for New-Wage and selfish-help enlightentainment. I give you…Manifest-Station TV!

Okay, granted, it’s an Internet TV station, and isn’t yet part of your local broadcast, cable or satellite TV lineup. But it’s just a matter of time, I’m sure. Besides, we all know that Internet is the future of TV. Or vice-versa. I get confused sometimes.

The current spokes-head for Manifest-Station TV is Neale Donald Walsch, who first became famous for gabbing with God, and to whom I paid loving tribute here in September of 2006. As it happens, that was also the post in which I first paid tribute to the emerging genre of "Spiritual Cinema." (I still think that concept opens up a whole new area for the adult-film business too, in the form of Spiritual Sin-ema. And I think I know just the person who could spearhead the movement (no, not me).)

Anyway. In the email in which he sent me the link to Manifest-Station TV, Chris reminded me not to miss the video of Neale Donald Walsch "coming to life from his convincing pose as the Mona Lisa," as Chris put it. That remark, of course, inspired some more bad Photoshopping on this end. (Hey, I am in a serious time crunch these days. They can’t all be like "My Preciousss!")

Despite being the spokes-head, however, Neale Donald doesn’t seem to be the brains behind Manifest-Station TV. That credit belongs to three dudes in a basement, Ryan Bloom, Len Wright, and Glenn Brubaker. Here’s how they did it:

Using the Laws of Attraction and following our Emotional Guidance Systems, we have been able to co-create a blessed space – a central gathering place for those intending to raise individual and collective consciousness, ultimately bettering our world from the inside out. The journey from a non-physical idea to the physical manifestation of our television channel has been absolutely ripe with moments of exquisite synchronicity and jaw-dropping, blissful experience. If there is one thing that we have learned from this, it's that once the rules of the game of life are understood and followed, there is no end to the astounding joys unveiled through the process of deliberate creation.

These three guys definitely seem to be classic have-it-all advocates, as evidenced by the quotation at the top of their home page:

"There is nothing that you can not be, or do, or have."
~ Abraham

The Abraham in question, of course, is (are) the collective imaginary friends invented and copyrighted by Esther and Jerry Hicks. Oddly enough, the Hicks are missing from the stellar line-up of "messengers" featured on Manifestation-Station TV. But nearly everyone else making a buck in the New Wage world seems to be present and accounted for. Besides major luminaries such as Walsch and Deepak Chopra, and a sprinkling of "teachers" who were in The Secret, there are a few minor players such as Gary Renard, whom you’ve also met here previously. And there are numerous up-and-coming "stars" and wannabes as well. F’rinstance, there’s Nick Arandes, aka The Radical Kid:

Nick Arandes, author, trainer, coach and musician, affectionately know as The Radical Kid went from homeless to wealth, NOT by employing hard work at all, but by simply applying basic universal principles that transform people's lives. Aside from being the author of The Truth About Series at TheRadicalKid.com, many audio CDs, DVD programs and hundreds of published articles, Nick is also the founder of SuccessAndMiracles.com where every Sunday millions of lives are inspired worldwide as well as the highly acclaimed Manifesting Miracles Online Video Course at FulfillYourDreams.com transforming lives worldwide!

Thank Goddess that The Secret was right about its most important message after all: you don’t have to work your butt off to be rich! All you have to do is apply basic universal principles that transform people’s lives. The Radical Kid did it and so can you! (Hint: It apparently helps to have been formerly homeless, or at least to say you are formerly homeless.)

Featured too is Brad Yates, the King of Tap, who has also graced my Whirled (third item down, "Tapping and yapping"). Brad starred in his own little movie a while back. And I suppose a spiritual stable wouldn’t be complete without someone with a contrived-spiritual name, such as this woman who calls herself "Zen."

But the real star of Manifest-Station is, apparently, yours truly. No, they don’t mention me by name; nevertheless, at the bottom of the "About Us" page, the three Manifest-Stationeers offer their heartfelt thanks to me (yes, me):

Thank you (yes you) for participating in this co-creative worldwide offering. We thank you because the intent to change the world would not have the same impact without you and for this, please allow us to offer our deepest and most heartfelt gratitude...

Once again I am reminded of the credits that always follow PBS programs. I’m sure I’ve mentioned this here before, but I’ll do so again, since this is all about me. At the end of most PBS shows I see the names of the big oil company or car manufacturer or pharmaceutical concern that provided the main sponsorship for the program in question. Then I might see the names of a couple of philanthropic foundations and PBS stations and other nonprofit orgs. And at the end, almost invariably, I see this reminder: "Viewers Like You."

That always makes me feel pretty special, knowing that a host of unnamed PBS viewers – all the little people – actually like me. But it’s nothing compared to how I feel now that Ryan, Len, and Glenn are thanking me personally for being part of their wonderful co-creative worldwide offering. But let’s give credit where it is due. While they’re at it, they really should thank Chris Locke as well. Even if he is a curmudgeon.

** PS ~ Speaking of Steven Sashen, he's on a roll now. He has just alerted me to another entry in the growing Snarks' Lexicon: successhole. I think we've all known a few of those!

Walsch away my troubles

Not too many years ago, things weren’t going so well for Neale Donald Walsch. Divorced from his wife and unable to work because of a broken neck suffered in a car wreck, he eventually became homeless. He says he spent nearly a year "panhandling for quarters and dimes on the street and living under the stars."

Like many who are down on their luck, Neale began to wonder where God was in all this. Rather than getting drunk and shaking his fist at the Lord, however, he decided to write God a letter venting his frustrations.
And guess what? God wrote back. Or, rather, God talked back, and told Neale to write it all down. Amazingly, this did not result in Neale ending up in the city jail or a locked psych ward, as might be the case with your average homeless person who receives messages from The Maker. Instead Neale’s interaction with the great I AM resulted in a book, Conversations With God: An Uncommon Dialogue. The book became a bestseller, and in short order Conversations With God 2 and 3 came out, as did several more book-length transcripts of God/Neale exchanges, all bearing the increasingly inaccurate subtitle, An Uncommon Dialogue (my apologies to the late Douglas Adams).

Now Neale was famous, and, indeed, why wouldn’t he be? Here was a dude who talked to God, asked the Deity the toughest questions imaginable about life, the Universe and everything – and God came up with all of the right answers, tailor-made for today’s spiritual seekers! That is, they’re the right answers if you’re a sensitive new-age guy or gal, or someone who’s just grown weary of the vengeful, egocentric, Self-righteous God most of us grew up with. If you’re a born-again or more traditional type, on the other hand, the answers are not so right. They’re downright blasphemous. If that's your view, no problem – there are plenty of other books for you. So please, move right along; this blog is as unsuitable for you as Conversations With God, because the last thing I am going to accuse Neale Donald Walsch of is blasphemy.

Actually, I kind of like the God in Walsch’s books. Described by some as a humorous guy-next-door sort of Deity, Neale’s God reminds me of the "Buddy Christ" introduced by George Carlin’s priest character in the great spiritual epic film, Dogma. But this just raises the question: Is it really God, or an imposter? Well, Neale was wondering that very same thing at first, so he asked the Voice that was dictating to him if It really was God. The Voice replied, as new-age voices often do, "What difference does it make? Even if everything I’ve said is ‘wrong,’ can you think of a better way to live?" Naturally, Neale had to say, "Nope, can’t say I can." And once he got his first book deal, he knew the Voice was right, Whoever it was.

Now at last comes the event that all of Walsch’s fans have been waiting for: the release of the movie version of Conversations With God. Scheduled to open in theaters across the US on October 27, the movie has already generated quite a bit of buzz, and sneak previews are being held in various new-age/New Thought centers throughout the US.

I couldn’t help noticing that the tag line on one of the pages of the CWG website is the same one used by most state lotteries: "If it can happen to him [referring to Neale, of course], it can happen to you." Oh, I suppose it’s a bit unfair to compare Walsch’s success with winning the lottery. The odds are marginally better for becoming another Walschian success story than for winning the Lotto. All you have to do is find an agent or publisher who hasn’t already tossed thousands of unsolicited copycat CWG manuscripts into the slush pile. Or better yet, call Oprah up – she’s standing by, waiting for your call even as I write this – and tell her you’ve been talking to God and wrote a book about it. Then you’re on your way.

But I digress. What does Walsch himself think about the CWG film? In a "personal message" on the movie web site he says, "I am thrilled about this movie because I believe that the messages of Conversations With God are extraordinarily important – especially the message that what happened to me can happen to everyone, and that God talks to people all the time. If you care enough about this movie to want to know more about it, please pass word of it on to others. CWG became a worldwide bestselling book by word-of-mouth. Help us do the same with the movie! Thanks!"

So consider this post my effort to do my part for Neale, who at this point needs your and my paltry promotional efforts like Ben Affleck needs to make another bad movie.

Over the past ten years, Walsch received numerous offers to turn his books into a film, and being a man of integrity, he turned them all down. So what made him ultimately change his mind? Was he finally seduced by the prospect of receiving millions and millions more dollars? Of course not, you cynic. He was drawn to the project by producer Stephen Simon, who, Walsch explains, possessed an "extraordinarily high level of artistic integrity, vision and willingness to collaborate." (Plus he was intrigued by the prospect of receiving millions and millions more dollars.)

Stephen Simon has produced films such as Somewhere In Time, What Dreams May Come, and Indigo, the latter of which was a low-budget film in which Walsch himself was featured. Indigo is a tale of the so-called "indigo children," who are either the "next level" in humanity or poster children for the next generation of Ritalin. Simon, by his own declaration, is on a journey to have "Spiritual Cinema" recognized as its own genre. He views this genre as "the twenty-first Century version of shamanic storytelling – with filmmakers as the modern day shamans, sitting around a celluloid campfire, passing down the myths and hopes of a culture from one generation to another."

Only in the case of the twenty-first century shamans, you have to pay actual money to get the myths passed down to you. Nothing is free anymore. And if in the process some of the shamans get obscenely rich, it's all for the good of humanity.

So passionate is Stephen Simon about his mission that he has even co-founded a sort of Spiritual-Movie-of-the-Month Club, touted as "The world’s first transformational DVD club." For only $21 a month you get a hand-picked selection of what one enthralled member describes as "meaningful, spiritually-evolved films." Even Deepak Chopra has endorsed this DVD club, so you know it’s the real deal.

I believe Simon is on to something. After What The Bleep?, The Secret, The Celestine Prophecy, the aforementioned Dogma, and now Conversations with God, it’s pretty clear that Spiritual Cinema is a shoe-in for the next big wave in filmmaking – bigger than Bollywood, even. Not surprisingly, the adult entertainment industry has plunged into this genre as well, and you can already find numerous "Spiritual Sinema" selections at your local 24-hour newsstand.

By the way, according to the CWG movie website, the movie was filmed over the course of five weeks "in and around beautiful Ashland, Oregon," which is where Neale lives. Coincidentally enough, this is also the home of noted channeler and JZ Knight wannabe Swami Blonde, the lady with the splotchy forehead, whom you met earlier in this blog. There must be something very holy about Ashland. I bet the real estate prices reflect it.

At any rate, Neale Donald Walsch is on an apparent roll. He continues to produce his books, CDs, DVDs and other materials, is deeply involved with his nonprofit ReCreation Foundation, which, near as I can tell, exists mainly to promote CWG, and he is one of the most in-demand keynote speakers in the world. He is now considered an expert on everything from relationships to the future of the Planet Earth. And now there’s this movie, sure to be a big hit, due in no small part to the fact that I am promoting it by word of blog. It seems there’s no stopping our Neale.

There is, however, one potential glitch in his perfect life: a recent lawsuit that could have ruinous consequences. Kept hush-hush until now,* the litigation could conceivably bring the Walsch empire crashing down.

In late August, God sued Walsch on several counts, including invasion of privacy, unauthorized publication of private conversations, and numerous inaccuracies (particularly in the volumes, Marriage To God and Temporary Separation From God). God is asking for an unspecified amount in damages, as well as generous royalties from all CWG books and auxiliary products, and 50% of the profits from the film. Since logistical difficulties prevent God from managing funds in the physical realm, She/He/It has stipulated that damages and royalties are to be paid directly to the Cosmic Connie Foundation, care of this blog. Stay tuned here for updates** on this potentially devastating lawsuit.

Meanwhile, I’m off to buy a lottery ticket. God told me to. At least I’m pretty sure it was God, because when I asked my Buddy Christ Bobblehead if it was, he nodded and gave me the thumbs-up. Hey, I've got it made.

*And, it might be argued, it’s hush-hush even now, since only three or four people read this blog, and they’re not talking. Sorry, Neale; I guess you’re going to have to rely on other everyday folk for your movie’s publicity blitz after all.
** If I feel moved to provide them.

* * * * *

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