It's Cosmic Connie Day!

Yes, Dear Ones, today, January 24, is my birthday. While it is not yet the international holiday it really should be, you can still celebrate it anyway. Do something nice for someone. Send me money. Share a smile with a stranger. Send me money. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Send me money. Most of all, think about me. And send me money. Or not. Just make it a great day. I'll be back to snarking soon, but today I'm celebrating.

A collection of uncollected thoughts

Today's offering, Dear Ones, is one of those "snippets" posts composed of several snarky bits, rather than being just one long snark about a single topic. Perhaps it is posts like this one that prompted a couple of folks on Rate A Blog to write that Whirled Musings is a senseless waste of time because it's just a collection of rambling, unrelated stuff. To wit:

viewed and rated said...

Here is another senseless Blog....

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/
whirled musings - Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie

Waste of time -
a collection of rambling unassociated postings that amount to no more than gobbly [sic] gook on the net.

July 16, 2008

Although that comment was posted in July of 2008, I didn't discover it until December. I wrote a response on Rate A Blog, speculating that I had either stepped on someone's toes or that the person making the comment simply wasn't aware of, or interested in, the usual subject matter of my blog. I added that there is indeed a common thread among most of my posts, and that on those occasions when I veer off topic, I warn my readers in advance. I also Tweeted about the critical remark on Twitter, and provided a link to the thread on Rate A Blog on which it appeared.

This apparently inspired someone else to follow the link and post her or his own remark:

nyuk nyuk said...

I just visited ......

http://cosmicconnie.blogspot.com/whirled musings

I can live without it.

An array of uncollected thoughts that assemble a hangover, ha ha ha

December 20, 2008

"An array of uncollected thoughts that assemble a hangover?" Now, that really makes sense.

Anyway, on to my "uncollected thoughts":

Calling on Dreaming-Bear
I've had some fun on this blog at the expense of a Maui poet and performance artist who calls himself Dreaming-Bear Kanaan. Recently Dreaming-Bear, or someone I believe to be D-B, wrote a rather lengthy private email to me explaining things from his point of view. He says I have misrepresented him on several counts. Although he seemed to imply that I should share his message on my blog, he didn't exactly say that. I immediately sent him an email in response, addressing some of the points he made and asking him if I could indeed publish his email on my blog.

I didn't receive a response, so after a couple of weeks I re-sent my request from another email address, in the event that his spam filter might have blocked out my Juno address. I still have not heard from him.

What do I have to do...send smoke signals?

Look, Dreaming-Bear, if you are reading this, please do know that I would love to publish your letter to me (minus the phone number you provided, of course), but I need your permission. Email me at cosmic.connie@juno.com and let me know.

I may be snarky, but I do try to be fair.

PS added in February 2009: I finally did hear back from from Dreaming-Bear, and now I'm the one who's being remiss about responding, as he has asked me to phone him so we could talk. I have yet to do that, partly because of time constraints and partly because I am so not a "phone person," preferring in-person communication and, lacking that, email and Twitter. However, I did want to add this capsule version of his messages, as he still didn't exactly grant permission for me to publish them verbatim. In fact he said he wished to be removed altogether from my blog, and has hinted more than once about karmic consequences.

In essence, Dreaming-Bear feels it is unfair of me to publish some of this stuff, especially the gossipy bits from people who claimed to have known him. (Since these commenters are anonymous, neither he nor I can verify whether or not they do know him.) D-B says that many of the things I wrote about, or that others commented about, are part of his past, adding that we all have things in our past that we may not necessarily be proud of. He says he has been in a committed relationship for over a year with a lady whom he loves very much. And he adds that he wishes that the people who don't like him could either forgive him or just stop ragging on him. (Keep in mind I'm paraphrasing here, just trying to capture the essence of what he said.)

He points out that there is nothing wrong with being an actor/performance artist, which is all that he is really claiming to be. He says he has never held himself up as a perfect being, a guru, or a spiritual leader. Now, my own take on this is that a hint of the risque would actually enhance his image as a performance artist. It worked for the late Jim Morrison and countless others. However, D-B also indicated that he is trying to get away from some of that over-the-top nekkid stuff and these days is concentrating more on being a bearer of peace and tenderness.

He also expressed puzzlement about why I would go after him when he's not the fish I want to fry. I have to concede that when compared to the likes of Kevin Trudeau or David Schirmer and any of dozens of New-Wage hustledorks, Dreaming-Bear is relatively benign. He's been an easy target for me because of his mystical-poet/performance shtick.

Most importantly (from an accuracy standpoint), Dreaming-Bear says he was not faking the wheelchair stint. He explained that he was in a bad car accident years ago and has had several surgeries to repair resulting damage. He says he has been in and out of the hospital for ten years and is legally disabled.

Some say I'm going out of my way to be "fair and balanced," which really doesn't fit into my job description as a snarky blogger. But I have never held much to job descriptions (and besides, we all remember what Emerson said about "a foolish consistency").

In any case, at the very least this is about getting facts right. And where I have been factually wrong I certainly want to correct that. As for the anonymous critics and snarkers, they are welcome to come forth with their true identities on this forum, or to communicate with Dreaming-Bear directly. I am not removing their comments, even as I am not removing the comments of the equally anonymous defenders of D-B, who speculated that I snark because I am full of rage and self-hatred.

And I stand by my own snarky opinions about Dreaming-Bear's public persona and performances, as those, I believe, fall under the umbrella of opinion – arts criticism, if you will.

As always, I welcome opinions and feedback from all.

"I paid five grand to ride in a Rolls, and all I got was this dumb blog."

Some of my friends and allies, I fear, are just a little bit too cynical for their own good. My pal Elizabeth, for example, recently commented about Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale's ongoing series of Rolls-Royce Phantom MasterMind sessions, for which he charges participants $5,000.00 a head. In a comment on one of my recent posts, she wrote, "$5,000 for [riding in that] Rolls? Even the Spitzer hooker did not charge so much."

And yet the success stories about the Phantom riders are pouring in, and they're pretty darned convincing, if you ask me. For example, there is Barry Thomas Bechta, a dedicated Joebot with a mega-watt smile and, apparently, a heart full of hope. Judging by the pics on his web site, he seems to be living his dream of donning a very shiny blue jacket (his lucky jacket, I'm guessing) and having his picture taken with various New-Wage gurus.

So what did Barry get from his recent Phantom ride? What remarkable successes has he realized since that magical evening in Austin? Well, for one thing, it would appear that he is now able to deal masterfully with the disappointment and frustration of not being able to afford to do the stuff he really wants to do. Here's what he wrote in a recent blog post about "Seeing and Being Abundance":

Let’s say, I wanted to go to [Joe Vitale's] Attract Wealth Seminar being held in Austin this weekend (I did).

Let’s say, I did not have the cash flow to attend Attract Wealth Seminar (I did not See Abundance).

Let’s say, I want to Be Abundance in the absence of Attract Wealth Seminar (I do).

Let’s say, I want to increase my ability to See Abundance Be Abundance See Abundance (I do).

Then I can use, Attract Wealth Seminar or any other sign of Abundance to enhance my ability to See Abundance Be Abundance See Abundance.

Many would say that kind of thinking is only wishful thinking.

I ask you to hear me out.

In my past, I would have said something like, “woe is me” because I could not go to Attract Wealth Seminar. In my past, I would have cushioned the blow of my “inability to afford” by saying something like, “The seminar probably isn’t going to be that good really.” In my past, I would have been upset and disappointed.

Zero Limits and Ho’oponopono says that every experience brings up for a person either memory or Miracles.

In my past, I would come from memory, and say “woe is me” and would have been upset and disappointed.

In this present moment, the only moment we ever have access to, when I am able to act without memory, I am able to act from Inspiration and Miracles come forth.

Then the Pure Potential Energy of Life knows what is possible for me.

My ability to talk about Abundance being present (and more importantly feeling that Abundance is Present Right Now) even in the face of apparent lack of Abundance, sets me up to see more Abundance in everything...

...From a place of Abundance Awareness, I can See Abundance where few others would See it or Be it.

And now let's look at the official CCT (Cosmic Connie Translation) of the above:

I wanted to go to Joe's Attract Wealth seminar in Austin, even though I'd just recently gone on the Rolls-Royce Phantom Ride with Joe. But even though the fee for the Attract Wealth Seminar was less than $800.00, I didn't have enough money to go, mainly because I'd blown five grand, plus travel and accommodation expenses, to get taken on that Phantom Ride. You'd think that Joe could have at least given me a scholarship and paid for my travel expenses so I could shill for him at the seminar and maybe get more people to sign up for future Phantom Rides. But noooooo.

But I'm okay with that, really I am! I don't feel at all upset and disappointed. After all, I did get taken for a ride! By Joe! In a Rolls!

And so we can be comforted in knowing that no matter how non-abundant Barry's life appears to be, now or in the future, he'll always have Austin.

Another Phantom success story is Wendy G. Young, whom Joe recently Tweeted about on Twitter:

Phantom Rider Wendy Young launched her blog due to the Rolls-Royce Mastermind she attended. http://www.wendygyoung.com

I eagerly jumped to Wendy's blog to check it out. I had actually visited her blog before, and had even written a comment to it back in November. That was in response to a post she'd written in September during Hurricane Ike. At the time she wrote the Ike post, her electricity was still on, and she intended to keep it on via her own powerful intentions. Ike wasn't going to get the better of her, nosiree. I politely wrote to her and asked her if focusing on keeping her power on had worked, but she has yet to answer. I have to say I am pretty disappointed.

Now I have a feeling she won't be answering me at all, as she's probably far too busy with her new and improved blog, as well as planning workshops where she will be teaching a brand new technology, which apparently centers around a Manifestation Grid she created to help you manifest your heart's desire. I am sure it's all very scientifical.

Her new blog has her pretty excited:

So just this past week I launched my new blog..I call it a soft launch! So once I feel like I really know what I am doing I will do the real launch. But really it is all real. Maybe I called it the soft launch because I was not fully committed to my new project.

Actually if I am being really truthful…this is all about my new life! My new business. The new me. New friends. New experiences. Maybe I will even attract a new boyfriend in the process!

Wow. All this from just one rolling MasterMind session. It looks like that was five grand well spent, Wendy! Indeed, she seems utterly thrilled about her new projects and her new self.

In truth, however, she was no slouch in her pre-Phantom Rider days, if this link is any indication. She created an audio series called, "Where Does Money Come From?" The series contains secrets to wealth creation from an impressive array of experts. For instance, there's Brad Yates, Master Tapper, who is really into...well...tapping. (I know it's too late for the holiday season just past, but you might want to bookmark Brad's Christmas tapping video and use it to help you get through next Christmas. Do yourself a favor and follow the Xmas tap link now. I guarantee it will cheer you up.) Also in Wendy's line-up is a Benny-Hillish-looking chap named Dr. Stephen Bacque, aka "The Homeless Millionaire." Dr. Bacque is obviously breaking new ground in the New-Wage industry, as most New-Wage hucksters are formerly homeless millionaires. Perhaps most noteworthy in Wendy's lineup is yet another Scientist Bob, noted quantum physics expert and Secret star Bob Doyle. Follow that link and be prepared to be positively blinded with science.

But all of that is nothing, I'm sure, compared to what Wendy is now planning.

Yet some of my friends continue to be doubters. When I sent an email about Wendy's new site to a friend of mine, he responded, "Wait a minute... So this broad spills five G’s for a spin in a taxi…and the ONLY idea she got was to ... let me get this straight ... her BIG idea was to LAUNCH A FRIGGIN’ BLOG?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WTF! THAT'S the big idea!?! A blog! These people are insane!"

But then my pal apparently reconsidered, and he wrote to me again a little later:

My last email got me wondering. If *I* were to take a ride in the JV Taxi, what awesome ideas would *I* get? Let me dream a little. Perhaps...

... I would decide to live my life-long dream of becoming a rodeo clown.

... JV's wisdom would impel me to reach for the stars and get a paper route!

... Or I could possibly start a stamp collection! (Yes! you heard that right. A STAMP collection. Do I dare?)

... I've been too scared to dare this on my own, but maybe with JV's help, I could be coached into buying a FAX machine. (I really need help with this one, it scares me so.)

My mind reels with the possibilities! I'm dizzy here…

My friend’s inspiration was downright contagious, and this in turn inspired me to get busy fine-tuning the program I mentioned at the very end of a post I wrote last October. As it happens, Ron and I are getting ready to launch a series of rolling MasterMind sessions of our own. This is truly the opportunity of a lifetime for you; for a mere ten grand in US dollars, you get to ride around in our Honda Odyssey mini-van with us and bask in the presence of our scintillating personalities. Why ten grand instead of merely five? you ask. Well, it's because there are two of us MasterMinders. That's twice the value!

What will you get from the experience? That is totally up to you. We create each Mini-Van MasterMind experience as we go, so you never know what will happen!

Who knows, we may even have a surprise guest or two, such as my friend the future rodeo clown, who may share some documents that he faxed with his new fax machine. We might bring a couple of our dogs too, and in the future, if things go as planned, we might even bring a minature donkey foal along. (You – yes, you! – will get to clean up the donkey poop, and we won't charge you extra for doing so.) Of course, dinner is included with the ride; you can even super-size your order. If you're interested, send me an email. Or better yet, just send me the ten thousand dollars and continue to enjoy my scintillating personality via this blog, and Ron's scintillating personality via his blog and his participation on Steve Salerno's blog, from the comfort of your own home. You don't need those large fries anyway. And if the Universe guides you to do so, feel free to send more than ten thousand dollars.

Dream big!

Neale and pray for forgiveness
By now you've probably heard the story about how Neale Donald Walsch, who has made his fortune by convincing people that he and God have a very special friendship, got himself into a spot of trouble recently for plagiarizing a heartwarming Christmas story. Neale has apologized profusely, saying the plagiarism was accidental. Candy Chand, the author of the plagiarized story, isn't buying his explanation.

Will Candy sue? That remains to be seen, but I wouldn't be suprised. "Well," wrote my pal Chris Locke of the Mystic Bourgeoisie blog, "at least God is unlikely to sue." But Chris is wrong about that, as I explained at the end of a September 2006 blog post:

In late August, God sued Walsch on several counts, including invasion of privacy, unauthorized publication of private conversations, and numerous inaccuracies (particularly in the volumes, Marriage To God and Temporary Separation From God). God is asking for an unspecified amount in damages, as well as generous royalties from all [Conversations With God] books and auxiliary products, and 50% of the profits from the film. Since logistical difficulties prevent God from managing funds in the physical realm, She/He/It has stipulated that damages and royalties are to be paid directly to the Cosmic Connie Foundation, care of this blog.

The case is scheduled to be heard before the Supreme Being Court next summer. Meanwhile, the Cosmic Connie Foundation is still waiting to receive those royalties from Neale. And I must say that God is getting very impatient.

Shift work takes on a whole new meaning
Despite all of the earnest efforts by the New-Wage leaders who truly have our best interests at heart, and are therefore urging us to ignore the mainstream media with all of its bad news, there really is a little bit of an economic crisis in the US of A and even in other parts of the world.

You don't believe me? Well, consider this: The Onion, that impeachable source of all the news that no one else will print, recently reported that many Americans are having to work a fourth shift in a perpendicular dimension in order to make ends meet.

Look, we always knew this day would come. It's time to stop living in denial, especially since we're all going to be shifting into the fourth dimension (or higher) anyway within the next few years. And who knows what 2012 will bring!

Here's the grim story.

"Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage..."
I know the previous piece was a little disturbing, Dear Ones, so I will end this post on an up note.

As you probably know about me by now, I am never afraid to admit when I am wrong. And I have been oh, so wrong about The Secret. My basic premise from the beginning was that although The Secret was very profitable for its creators and the wise teachers who starred in it, it was not all that effective as a tool for changing one's life.

But I have just read a deeply touching story about how one man's life was changed for the better by The Secret. You may very well have seen this story, as it now seems to be making the rounds on Twitter and elsewhere on the Net. But just in case you have not, I'll share it with you. This is the tale of a man who was a prisoner, not only of the criminal justice system but also of his own deep despair. The Secret saved him. And he in turn went on to inspire many, many people by sharing his story.

Here is the link. (And just in case Amazon gets wise to it and takes it down at some point, I have preserved the original comment (though not the ensuing discussion) as a jpeg; double-click on the image and you'll be able to read it.)

Well, that's it for now. Enjoy what's left of the weekend, and I'll be back soon with more unrelated, uncollected thoughts that assemble like a hangover. Or something like that.

Mr. Fire meets up with true dough

Note to all: I've expanded this post a bit since I first published it on January 4. So if you read it then, you might want to read it again because there's more now. And don't forget to read the "comments" section for more information, entertainment and links.
~CC (1-06-09)

Forget that brief fling between Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale and the now-failed Succeed Magazine, one of embattled Aussie Secret star David Schirmer's boondoggles. That is sooooo last year. Now we have what is potentially the absolute ultimate Match Made In Hustledork Heaven (or at least New-Wage Nirvana).

I give you Joe Vitale and Kevin Trudeau, infomercial king, bestselling author, and convicted con artist. Joe recently had a three-hour dinner with Trudeau and his lovely young wife, Natalie. A good time was apparently had by all, as they drank expensive Scotch and talked about everything from infomercials and other moneymaking schemes to Joe's car collection (I know, big surprise on the latter).

In his blog post, Joe mentions in passing that he is aware of Trudeau's troubles:

I'm well aware of Kevin's long term fight with the government, his prison time, his current federal restrictions, etc.
Yet the man I met is sincere, passionate, and dedicated. He is on a mission to help people get healthy and get out of debt. He's been to sixty countries in search of health cures that truly work. When he finds them, he reports on them. He's fearless about it, too.

As usual, most of the responses to this post were positive. A guy named James, however, just couldn't let go of the issue about Kevin's bad press:

The guy gets major negative press though. What's up with that?
ABC 20/20: John Stossel Exposes Liar Kevin Trudeauhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YN5ihrECJms*

To which Joe responded:

James, see my Dec 24 post about paying attention to the mainstream media.
Blessings,
joe

A little later another reader named Paul chimed in:

James, You can't trust the media. If they have no bad news they'll create it. They are trying to create dirt on Kevin Trudeau. I call him Kevin Truthdeau. I like his stuff. I have Natural Cures They Don't Want You To Know About the 1st and Second Edition and More Natural Cures Revealed. Joe are going to invite kevin to the Zero Limits event in April? It would be really cool if you did. It goes to show that sickness starts in the mind and cancer is no exception to the rule. I believe in home remedies and natural cures. It seems like the best of both worlds in the same place at the same time.

Joe failed to respond to Paul's question about the Zero Limits event, so Paul repeated it a couple of days later. Paul also responded to another reader who was critical of Trudeau, saying, "You can't believe the government or the media. The government and the media has [sic] a personal vendetta against Mr. Trudeau." Which, of course, has been Trudeau's big line of defense to his customers.

Yet another reader, Wendy, was bothered by Joe's association with Trudeau.

Hi again Joe:
I have looked further into Kevin’s troubled life and quite frankly I am surprised that you would assoicate yourself with him. Sorry but I have to question your judgement on this one.

Joe responded:

Hi Wendy. I had dinner with the guy; I didn’t marry him. Besides, unconditional forgiveness is the path to magic and miracles. If I sat in judgement of Kevin and denied his offer to have dinner because of what the media says about him, I’d be a limited-thinking fool. As it turned out, the evening with him was unforgettable and wonderful. He was very helpful to me. In fact, one of my dear friends is ill and Kevin was right there with support and resources to help. Had I passed on the dinner with him, i would have passed on an oppourtunity [sic] to learn and grow and to help a friend.
Blessings,
joe

I hope you will forgive me – unconditionally, of course – if it seems to me that Joe's deliberate glossing over Trudeau's troubles is tantamount to admitting that it really is all about the "hypnotic" marketing and the money after all, and little else matters, even when you dress it up with talk of "magic and miracles." In both his blog post and his comments to concerned readers, Joe has repeatedly made it known that he doesn't give a rat's behind about the trouble Kevin has been in. It is simply not important to him. He concluded his post by stating that he has decided he needs to hang around Kevin, and successful people like Kevin, more. "He stretched my thinking, challenged my thinking, and enriched my thinking," Joe enthused.

As it happens, Kevin Trudeau was the very example I used more than once when responding to comments on my own blog regarding David Schirmer (as well as other hustledorks and New-Wage schemes). When speculating about Schirmer's plans to come to the US and make it big on these shores, one person mentioned that because of his growing legal and personal troubles, and the resulting bad publicity, there was no way he would ever be accepted here. I tried to temper that optimism by mentioning Trudeau, whose work has been refuted by experts in numerous fields, who has been the target of hundreds of consumer complaints over the years, and who has actually done prison time for fraud...and yet he's back, bigger than ever, and his products continue to sell like hotcakes.
Now, don't get me wrong. I recognize that few issues are black and white; there are shades of gray to be sure. Yes, the US government can be intrusive and has been known to imprison people, or worse, on questionable charges (and I'm being charitable here. Very charitable.). Yes, the pharmaceutical industry often seems far more interested in profits than in actually improving people's health (and once again, I am being very charitable). Yes, the mainstream medical profession as a whole can also seem to be a bit jealous of its turf when it comes to "alternative" health products and practices (although I still like to think that most doctors are primarily motivated by concern for the well-being of their patients). And certainly one has to temper the offerings of the mainstream media with the knowledge that most media outlets, including news divisions, are in business for ratings, which translate, of course, into money, money, money.
Trudeau, however, has been nailed time and time again while jumping from one deceptive scheme to the next. I find it hard to believe that this is because the media and the US government and "Big Pharma" and the medical profession are all out to get him.

Here's a link to a good blog post that concisely summarizes why Kevin Trudeau is not to be trusted.

If you want more details, here is an article from Skeptical Inquirer.

If that's a bit too...well...skeptical...for your taste, try the offering from Salon.com, the online magazine, which ran a feature on Trudeau a few years ago.

My pal Steve Salerno at SHAMblog has written about Trudeau a few times too, most notably here and here.

And here's yet another useful page from another skeptic, Robert T. Carroll of Skepdic.

But I think you get the idea. There's a lot of information out there about Kevin Trudeau, and most of it is not good.

As for the mainstream media (of which the John Stossel link mentioned above is a more representative example than those in the paragraphs just above), despite the ratings factor, not everything in the media is a lie. As I noted, it's not all black and white, and that goes for the critics as well as for those being criticized. The profession of newsgathering and reporting still includes many people of great integrity; I know several of them personally. Very simply, they're not all mercenaries who are out to assassinate the characters of poor helpless con artists...er...entrepreneurs...in order to get a good story.
And what about the hundreds of Amazon readers who blasted Trudeau's books; are they also part of "the mainstream media" (or the government, or the pharmaceutical industry), and therefore not to be believed? To wit:

• The Weight Loss Cure They Don't Want You to Know About

• More Natural Cures Revealed: Previously Censored Brand Name Products That Cure Disease

• Debt Cures "They" Don't Want You to Know About

And so on.

If all of these dissatisfied readers are not to be believed, then by logic, we must also take with more than a grain of salt all of the five-star reviews of Trudeau's work (not to mention all of those glowing five-star Amazon reader reviews of Joe Vitale's many titles).
And here's a site linking to consumer complaints about Trudeau. Judging from the dates on the most recent complaints, the man is still apparently bilking consumers left, right and sideways. And getting away with it.

Then again, maybe these "complaints" are simply more fabrications of the mainstream media. Or maybe they were planted there by Big Pharma. Or maybe they, as well as those pesky one-star Amazon reviews, should just be dismissed as opinions, and everyone knows that opinions are like...well...you know.

On a more serious note – and here I'll acknowledge that I am venturing dangerously close to Godwin's Law territory, albeit without the Nazis – if more people truly did follow the increasingly popular advice about completely ignoring the mainstream media (and/or practicing "unconditional forgiveness"), there might be some unintended consequences. It's possible, for example, that Radovan Karadžić, the alleged Bosnian Serb war criminal who was captured last year, wouldn't have even had to grow a beard and assume the identity of a dead man in order to win followers. He could simply have broken into the New-Wage/selfish-help bidness as himself. Nobody would have cared, as long as he offered the requisite miracles and wonders for which people are so hungry.

As for unconditional forgiveness, how far are we really willing to take that concept? On a personal level it's one thing; truly forgiving someone who has wronged you personally (whether or not they ask for forgiveness) can be very healing. But that's a choice that can only be made by the individuals involved, and one has to wonder how this sort of forgiveness even applies to Joe Vitale and Kevin Trudeau. Has Kevin in some way wronged Joe personally or professionally? If not, then for Joe to even imply that he has the right to "forgive" Kevin for scamming thousands of other people is nothing short of arrogant.

And what about "unconditional forgiveness" on a societal level? Are we willing to take it far enough to set wrongdoers of all kinds free to do as they wish? If so, that's great news for the infamous Bernie Madoff, whose appalling misdeeds Joe all but dismissed on the above-mentioned December 24 blog post. Joe hadn't even heard of Madoff till a reader asked if the victims of Madoff's high-dollar scamming had somehow "attracted" their victimization. Joe responded with his usual advice that folks were better off ignoring the mainstream media, and, yes, he implied that perhaps some of the victims were also responsible for what Madoff did to them.**

He even suggested that some of them might have actually been relieved to have lost their fortunes (perhaps because of their subconscious beliefs that money is evil). It was apparently all too complex, in a Law Of Attraction and perhaps karmic sort of way, for Joe to waste much time speculating about; his main point was that people are simply happier, overall, if they ignore the news. Psst, Bernie, if you ever get out of prison, maybe you too can hook up with Kevin Trudeau, and then you can bilk people on levels you've only dreamed of.
Granted, Kevin Trudeau's scams are hardly on the scale of Karadžić's alleged war-time atrocities. I get that. But it seems clear that he is a scammer nonetheless, arguably as bad in his own way as Bernie Madoff, or perhaps even worse – and yet so many people seem not to care at all. Trudeau himself told Joe that no matter what happens, he, Trudeau, can't be beat and will always win. And maybe he's right, if "winning" can be measured in terms of earnings and material success. Trudeau certainly seems to have plumbed the murky depths of the collective consumer heart, having proven repeatedly that millions will jump at a chance to be privy to "secrets" that "they don't want you to know about." A lucky few will get to make millions off of the masses who long to be privy to these "secrets."

It remains to be seen if Mr. Fire will actually enter into any joint ventures with Kevin Trudeau, but I wouldn't be surprised. When money calls, Joe answers. (Although I have no way of knowing, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he received a bit of compensation for writing that complimentary blog post about Kevin. I'm just speculating, of course, but it's not beyond the realm of possibility.) Plus, he has been known to have his head turned by flattery, and it looks as if Kevin and his lovely young bride flattered him plenty.

Kevin’s wife seemed starstruck. Turns out she is a big fan of all my books. And I mean all of them. They went on a shopping spree at Amazon and bought every title they could find by me.
Natalie, his wife, had lots of questions about the Law of Attraction and my writing career. She hung on my every word, as did Kevin. It was very flattering.

Kevin and I spoke about many things, from performing magic (we’re both lifetime members of the Society of American Magicians), to infomercials (he had no idea of my experience with them) to network marketing to health cures to hypnotic storytelling.

I told him about my own infomercial for The Awakening Course. He asked about numbers and results, none of which I had at hand.
He said I should be on TV more. He said I am good looking, articulate, and sincere. (Thank you, Kevin.)

This might even trump having an old Hawaiian mystic (speaking of Zero Limits) tell you that you're one of God's Original 10, or that you are the Jesus of business, or that he (the old mystic) should be sitting at your feet because you are "as gods." (Read all about it here; scroll down to the section titled, "Joe Almighty.") Hey, that mystical/god stuff is all right, but given a choice between being fawned over by an old geezer or a cute young blond, I strongly suspect that most red-blooded hetero guys would choose the latter every time.
Particularly if that blond happens to be attached to a potential fame ticket and unprecedented money op.***

PS ~ Here's a link to some laughs at True-dough's expense. Unfortunately, it is really not much of an exaggeration.
* John Stossel's 20/20 segment about Kevin Trudeau isn't new, of course – Trudeau has published several more books in the interim – but it's very revealing nonetheless. Also revealing are the recent responses to the video (more than likely a result of the link Joe provided on his blog), painting critics of Trudeau as idiots who have been brainwashed by the mainstream media, the pharmaceutical industry, the government, etc.
** Actually, in a few cases it's true that some people "attracted" Madoff, or at least deserved him; some folks apparently invested with Madoff because they suspected he was cheating (though they thought it was by illegal insider trading, not an illegal Ponzi scheme). But it doesn't take some convoluted crap about the Law Of Attraction to explain pure and simple greed.
*** Here is a link to an article in the online edition of the Salem (MA) News about the June 2008 wedding of Kevin Trudeau and the lovely Natalie. It was a civil ceremony held at the City Hall in Beverly, Massachusetts, a spot chosen because, as Kevin explained, "We decided this is a nice, beautiful courthouse." The bride, a native of the Ukraine, wore traditional Ukrainian attire and jumped excitedly up and down, kissing Kevin while his new mother-in-law snapped photos of them in front of City Hall. The article said the couple planned to have a more lavish ceremony overseas at some point, but they didn't know where or when. The purpose of the Massachusetts ceremony, according to Kevin, was that "We wanted to make it a U.S. marriage." Now, that's patriotism. God bless the U.S.A.! To me the most noteworthy points of the wedding story were the quotations from the switchboard operator at the courthouse. Apparently a passionate Kevin Trudeau fan, she gushed about how handsome the groom was, and said she nearly fainted when he shook her hand after he signed her copy of his natural-cures scam book, and his bride gave her the wedding bouquet. For the life of me, I do not understand how people can be so starstruck over this hustler, but they are. Look at this comment from "mike alaska," for example, on Joe Vitale's blog.

* * * * *

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A Barry Happy New Year!

Well, Dear Ones, it's been two weeks since I blogged, and now I find myself in a brand new year, at least if you're going by the Gregorian calendar.


I was seriously considering doing one of those painfully clever Year In Review posts outlining the best and worst of 2008 from my Whirled view. After all, 2008 was an eventful year in the New-Wage/selfish-help arena; we had everything from a benevolent, bearded New-Wage guru who turned out to be a genocidal war criminal, to the usual shenanigans of your garden-variety hustledorks and amateur quantum physicists. Scientist Bob Proctor disavowed one of his major fame tickets, The Secret, while pushing the latest in a series of his own marginally legal highly questionable money-making schemes. Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale bought more expensive cars and blogged and Tweeted about them endlessly, although his world nearly shattered when he failed to attract a flying car he'd had his eye on (if you follow the link, scroll down to the second item). David Schirmer, lone Aussie star of The Secret, lost more court cases (to paraphrase "Mr. Fire," way too many links to list here. Just Google.). And so forth.

Indeed, the ocean of 2008 runneth over with snark chum.

Alas, I quickly realized that I am far too lazy to do a Whirled Year In Review. I'm even too lazy to do a personal Year In Review, even though it was a significant year for me, in that I became a country girl and finally learned how to use Twitter.

So I'm going to take the easy way out and hand you over to Dave Barry, who, of course, concerns himself with a much broader range of topics than I do. Just in case you haven't seen it yet, here is Dave's review of the year that was. And remember, he's not making it up. At least, not all of it.

PS ~ Don't worry. I'll get back to snarking...well...probably tomorrow!
PPS added January 3 ~ That "tomorrow" I mentioned above is now yesterday, and threatening to turn into the day before yesterday. But don't worry, I am preparing to snark...

How to reposition your boner (and other forbidden secrets)

“Zig Ziglar may be the master motivator, Mark Victor Hansen and Jack Canfield of Chicken Soup for the Soul, the master story tellers; Anthony Robbins may be the guru of personal development, but Bob Proctor is the master thinker. When it comes to systemizing life, no one can touch him.”

~ Attributed (by Bob Proctor) to Doug Wead, former Special Assistant to the President of the United States

I've known for a long time that Scientist Bob Proctor is a deep thinker, but reading the above quotation from author, philanthropist and former Diamond-level Amway salesman Doug Wead just confirms it. "Well, gee, Cosmic Connie, is Wead really a reliable source?" you may be asking. To which I can only respond, "If you can't trust a person who betrayed the trust of a future President of the US by secretly recording conversations and then publishing them, whom can you trust?"

But this isn't about Doug Wead. It's about Scientist Bob, noted quantum physics expert, philosopher and (as you'll see in a moment) also an economist and even apparently an expert on human sexuality.

The first thing you need to know is that Scientist Bob recently dropped a really big bombshell. I hope you're sitting down.

Are you ready?

It turns out that The Secret was just fluff. Listen to what Scientist Bob, who is of course one of the stars of The Secret (and whom The Secret arguably propelled to new levels of fame) has to say:

The Movie Based on the Law Of Attraction is Pop Culture Fluff!

And we have the entire industry to blame for this.

Being true to their sensational nature, they take an amazing truth and they just amplify the “sexy”, less vital bits and leave out all the rest.

As a result, the Law of Attraction brand that you get today is a really watered down version of the real thing.

Needless to say, when you use the Law of Attraction in reduced media-friendly form, you only scrap [sic] the tiniest tip of the iceberg when it comes to its immense potential.

Now, I know some of you might be saying, "Why, Cosmic Connie, that sounds amazingly close to some of the things you have been saying on this very blog regarding the New-Wage/selfish-help industry! At least the headline and the first paragraph sound like you! The rest, not so much!"

So what does Scientist Bob have against The Secret? Simply this: it only touched on one Universal Law, the Law Of Attraction, and it didn't even do such a hot job of that. In fact, it may have made things worse, or at least failed to make them better, as Bob points out:

Barely 3 Years After The Revolutionary Film "The Secret", America & The World Faces Its [sic] Worst Financial Crisis in Decades

Is the Law of Attraction Just Hype?

Why – if the Law of Attraction is being used by millions – did America just face its worst job crisis since 1974, with 602,000 people losing their jobs?

Some of you might be under the mistaken impression that the economic crisis is a result of a whole clusterf--k of economic, social and political factors, but Scientist Bob, aka Economist Bob, knows better. Turns out the LOA just won't work properly unless you pay Bob to teach you about eleven other forgotten Laws.

Here are some of the astounding things that Bob will reveal to you if you fork over $97 (a $200 savings over the regular price of $297!):

• 1,000 year-old ancient Talmud secret that can steer you clear of materialism and set you on the path to true riches. (Find it in the Law of Thinking)
• Read the newspapers and DIE. A fatal way to mess up your dreams—and how to avoid it. (The Law of Attraction)
• Get the Golden Touch—by making bone-headed mistakes? Directions for repositioning boners and transforming them into bounty. (learn in the Law of Receiving)
• “His sight was getting poor, but his vision has never been better”. The step-by-step blueprint to set crystal-clear goals and achieve them. (Go to the Law of Thinking)
• A simple yet powerful method to create effectual employees and agreeable colleagues. (Grab it from the Law of Increase)
• The magic golden key to realizing all the dreams you ever had. PLUS: It also works to boost self-esteem, emotional freedom, and spiritual fufillment [sic], (The Law of Compensation teach you that!)
• Is guilt corroding your insides like acid? Here’s a mental substance that acts like alkali and washes you clean. (Law of Forgiveness)*
• And much more!

Naturally, my little cadre of email pen pals and I were most interested in that bit about "repositioning boners." I confess that we snarked about it quite a bit. But then I began to wonder if perhaps we were being too hard on Scientist Bob. After all, he is Canadian, and it's possible that "boner" doesn't have the same meaning in Canadian as it currently does in American. While it's true that the word was used in the past as a slang term for "mistake," that is emphatically not its most common usage these days. So maybe Canada didn't get the memo, eh?

Judging by some of the comments on a recent thread on the Powerful Intentions forum, it seems that at least some Secret fans are a little uncomfortable about Scientist Bob having thrown one of his major fame tickets under the bus. But hey, let's face it: Bob was on the New-Wage scene decades before The Secret was a gleam in Rhonda Byrne's imitation third eye. And he's far from the only "star" of the world's most famous New-Wage moviemercial to use it as stepping stone to further fame and riches.

So let's all cut the guy some slack, okay? And if your boner needs repositioning, or your insides are too acidic and those Tums just aren't working, or you would just like to increase your spiritual "fufillment," hop on over to Master Thinker Bob's new site and avail yourself of his timeless wisdom.

Or at least take a gander at that ad copy. Surely there are lessons to be learned in that alone.

PS added Dec. 22: In the interests of fairness and presenting "the other side," I want to share the remarks of a person commenting on a September 2007 blog post in which I snarked about Scientist Bob. (The comment just came in very recently.) This person, who uses the handle "Navs South Africa," says he owes all of his astounding success to The Secret and to Bob Proctor and his team. He also says, "Skepticism is the deadly enemy of progress & self development." Here's the link to his comment and my response, and then his response to me.

PPS added on 19 April, 2009: While Googling something else, I came across an April 2007 interview in which Scientist Bob praised The Secret up, down and sideways.

Here's the relevant part, in which the interviewer is asking Proctor about the filming of The Secret. It leads into his comments about his reaction when he first watched the stunning final product:

PR.com: Did they shoot you all at one time, and they just cut it up?

Bob Proctor: Yes. The amazing part of this… no one had a script… no one! It was a little hotel room that they were shooting in. Of course there's camera equipment everywhere and lights, shadowing for lights and you had to watch or you'd trip over something in the room, it was so small. They asked a couple of questions and I would answer them as if they weren't questions; just stating things. I talked to them for a couple hours, just explaining everything about the mind, the world that we live in and our relationship with why things happen the way they do. That was it, and I left. She said, "You'll hear from us." That was in June [of 2005] and then the following February of 2006, I got a DVD of The Secret, by Fed Ex. I didn't even put it on right away. Finally, I said to my wife, "Let's see what this is." Well, I just about fell off the sofa, I couldn't believe it!

PR.com: Because you were so moved by it?

Bob Proctor: I really was! I've been in this business and studying this since 1961, and I worked for five years with Nightingale-Conant in Chicago. Nightingale-Conant is the leader in personal development programs and products. I spent 5 years with them in the sixties and early seventies when this industry was really just in its rompers, and I'd never seen anything like [The Secret]. It is without question, the best production, and it gets the idea across better than anything I've ever seen.

Of course, that was two years ago. I guess he changed his mind after The Secret hysteria died down a bit and he had to scramble to find another cash cow.

* Apparently Scientist Bob is not only a quantum physics expert, but is also a chemist. Who knew?

Another hustledork moviemercial comin' your way

Just in case you haven't yet had your fill of New-Wage moviemercials, you will be thrilled to know that there are more on the horizon. For example, there is Awakeners, which promises to be yet another hustledork showcase, thinly disguised as an exercise in "conscious filmmaking." Expected release date is some time in early 2009.

Not to be confused with Sheri S. Tepper's fantasy/sci-fi series, The Awakeners, this Awakeners, it appears, will have a corny story line, a la What The Bleep. The tale revolves around a woman going through an awakening process and checking into some "spiritual halfway house" where she and other evolved-beings-in-progress can really start evolving. A site I found 'splains it:

Together, they are assisted by 'the other side' in awakening their latent powers. To some, they appear to be lunatics, and to others, wise sages. But through their journeys, they all discover their awakened purpose in assisting humanity through the emerging paradigm shift.

I imagine the filmmakers will find ways to work various talking heads into the plot line. This promises to be really good, particularly if the hustledorks are actually given character roles instead of just talking-head parts. I can't wait.

And there's great news for you marketers who were looking for a handy name for the burgeoning demographic that includes many hustledork-movie fans. They are officially called the "lifestyle of health and sustainability," or "LOHAS" market. (This is not to be confused with the "lifestyle of hedonism and nitwittery," or "LOHAN" market.) LOHAS was mentioned in this blurb about the executive producer of The Awakeners:

Audra Kelly, Awakeners executive producer, exudes a profound and rare commitment to the success of Awakeners in local, national, and international markets. She believes that much is at stake in divisive media and expresses the urgency of delivering a unification of humanity through inspiring films. Audra is not alone in this belief, as 19 percent of adults in the United States have been identified as belonging to the lifestyle of health and sustainability (LOHAS) market, members of which value the mind-body-spirit connection and carry the ultimate purpose of reaching their full human potential...This growing population longs for films such as Awakeners to hit the movie theaters. People are asking for a shift toward conscious filmmaking, which indicates that consciousness-raising films may soon dominate the industry. Audra’s vision is that Awakeners will kick-start this trend, reaching blockbuster status by resonating in the hearts of its viewers.

As it happens, and as my pal Chris Locke at the Mystic B blog reminded me (he had previously told me about this but I'd forgotten it), LOHAS is also the official name of a Colorado-based organization that publishes a slick magazine and has its home on the Web at http://www.lohas.com/:

LOHAS companies practice "responsible capitalism" by providing goods and services using economic and environmentally sustainable business practices. LOHAS business owners and industry leaders from around the world meet each year at the LOHAS Conference to discuss industry trends, share ideas and learn how to run a successful LOHAS business.

LOHAS consumers, sometimes referred to as Lohasians, are interested in products covering a range of market sectors and sub-sectors, including: Green building supplies, socially responsible investing and "green stocks", alternative healthcare, organic clothing and food, personal development media, yoga and other fitness products, eco-tourism and more.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all for sustainability and progressive business models that take into account that we're living on a fragile planet of finite resources. Actually, the planet isn't all that fragile (as the late George Carlin famously noted), but we are, and we seriously need to stop soiling our nest. My problem with the whole "sustainability" thang is that it almost always comes packaged with a cloying and annoying, although eminently blogworthy, SNAG* mindset.

Chris reminded me that LOHAS had their annual pow-wow in his hometown of Boulder this past summer, an event that, as he put it, "you can see documented in all its perverse glory" in the video on their site (here's the link again). "It's all just soooo Boulder," he wrote.

And if you want something that is not only soooo Boulder but also soooo SNAG-gy, give thanks unto Chris for pointing me in the direction of a guided meditation at the 2008 LOHAS event, led by Max Simon, son of Deepak Chopra's sidekick David Simon. Simon the Younger is Chief Enlightenment Officer of GetSelfCentere.com, which offers something called "Self-Centered Meditation." As Chris noted, you really could not make this stuff up.

So, are ya ready to meditate with the Lohasians? Well, then, here's the meditation. Strip naked if you need to, and try not to picture some of those Lohasians doing the same.

PS ~ Hey, and speaking of hustledork moviemercials, we have an official world premiere date for Beyond The Secret, which seems to be primarily "Scientist Bob" Proctor's brain child (I snarked a bit about it back in August; scroll down to "Scientist Bob is at it again!"). The link I provided on my post still works, but the page has changed; even so, the "movie" that's premiering in January of 2009 is clearly part of the same project I wrote about. Equally clearly, it is one of Scientist Bob's moneymaking (for him) schemes.

PPS ~ This doesn't have anything (directly) to do with hustledork movies, but the other day I promised a Twitter pal, Christopher Jorgensen – creator of the delightful Jackass Letters site – that in my next blog post I would mention a letter he wrote to someone I snarked about on my blog a couple of years ago. Whereas I generally just snark about people, Christopher, in the fine tradition of people such as Don Novello, aka Lazlo Toth, prefers to engage them directly. The guy he wrote to isn't a hustledork so much as he is a lovable kook: Lightworker/Spirit Master Gary Johnson, whom I blogged about in November of 2006.

Here's the letter, and the Lightworker's reply. Enjoy!

* SNAG: Sensitive New Age Guy (or Gal)

The week's almost over...time to snark again!

Yes, I know it's been a while since I've blogged. After a long and food-filled Thanksgiving weekend that culminated when Ron and I and a couple of dear friends partook of the King's Feast at the Texas Renaissance Festival on Sunday (thank you again, Michael), we spent Monday catching up on work. On Monday night just after sunset, Ron and I went outside to gaze at the southwestern sky. There we beheld a rare astronomical event: a triple conjunction in which the crescent moon, Venus and Jupiter cozied up to each other, looking for all the world like some whacked-out dyslexic emoticon (either a frowny or a smiley face depending upon your perspective, but cockeyed nonetheless). It was really pretty cool. Actually it was cold – too cold for us to stay out long enough to take good pictures. But we did have clear skies and a wonderful view of the event.

In truth, though, triple conjunctions aren't all that rare. Why, here comes another one right now: And/Or/But.

Sorry. I've been dying for days to foist that joke on someone. Lucky you! Anyway, Ron and I spent the next few days putting finishing touches on manuscript edits and getting into the design work for a project, and in between, of course, I've been Tweeting on Twitter. But I decided it's time to take another snark break. So here are a few snippets...

Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind...
A few days ago I read an article about the fact that the 2008 Atlantic hurricane season, which ended November 30, produced a record number of consecutive storms that struck the US. Further, it ranks as one of the more active seasons in the nearly six and a half decades since comprehensive records began. Many of us are all too aware that Hurricane Ike – the storm that some of the wind whisperers were bragging they successfully "reduced" to a Cat 1 storm – was a Cat-2 when it made landfall in Texas but actually produced Cat-4 level surges, destroying much of Galveston and chunks of Houston and other surrounding areas. All in all, it was such a crazy season that forecasters are considering modifying the way they categorize hurricanes.

So let me just say, "Hey, great work, wind whisperers. You have truly made a difference."

Speaking of Hurricane Ike, the other day I came across a September blog entry by a person named Wendy Gail Young, who does something called Prosperity Posturing...er, I mean, Prosperity Postures. On September 12, the day before Ike hit Texas, she wrote:

I have been consistently saying that my power is staying on during and after the storm. What you focus on [you] create, right? Well so far so good...During this short blog post there have been 3 power surges. The last one turned all the lights off too and then they came back on. I have been holding a strong intention to have my power stay on.

I wrote a comment on her blog, asking her if her power did in fact stay on throughout and after Ike, but she has yet to answer.

A foolish [in]consistency?
Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale has said that his latest book, Expect Miracles, will probably be his last book. He seems to be getting a lot of mileage out of this, having mentioned it several times on his blog and on Twitter. And on November 18, according to a correspondent who is on his email list, he sent this explanation out:

People are writing to me, asking what I meant when I said 'Expect Miracles' is my final book.

Well, I mean just that.

I have no more books in the works, no contracts for any, and no desire to write any more.

It's time to stop and let you catch up with all my titles. (I've written over thirty books.)

I'll still write my blog posts, and record new audio programs (my third comes out February, 2009), and do whatever else I get inspired to do, from speaking gigs to Rolls-Royce Master-Minds.

But for now, 'Expect Miracles' is it.

Yet here are two of his recent Tweets on Twitter, written a couple of days before that email blitz was sent out:

"Writing a book proposal - this one would save the world, heal all money problems, and cause lasting peace. But I might be dreaming big." 9:37 AM Nov 16th from web

"Going to work-out, finish up new book proposal, and run errands." 7:48 AM Nov 17th from web.

Either someone hacked his Twitter account and wrote those Tweets...or Joe is living in two parallel worlds in which he is both actively planning to write another book that will save the world, and not planning to ever write another book again...or he just really needs to learn how to keep his stories straight. Or maybe he simply has mood swings like I do.

Sometimes the inconsistencies are more subtle. F'rinstance, another correspondent told me that Joe recently sent an email out to his list, promoting his Awakening Course and his Miracles Coaching program. The hook in the email was something Joe calls "Transformational Vocabulary," which he says is one of many things he teaches in the Awakening Course. Transformational Vocabulary is basically New-Wage doublespeak to help you put a positive spin on negative situations. "These subtle changes can make all the difference in how you handle issues as they arise," Joe wrote. Here are just a few examples [with my comments in brackets]...

• Refer to problems as "opportunities." [Now, there's a new one. Or maybe it was new way back in the late 1970s when corporate America latched on to it and tattooed it on the forehead of every smirking young exec they could get their hands on.]
• Instead of saying, "I have to," say, "I get to." ["Next week I get to have a root canal, lay off five of my top employees, have my dog put to sleep, and hand over most of my life savings to my auto mechanic." Yeah, try saying that without sounding sarcastic.]
• A setback is really a "challenge." ["Challenge," as anyone who has hung around a Unity Church courtyard for any length of time knows, is the all-time favorite New-Wage euphemism for everything from a harrowing divorce to a near-fatal car accident to a terminal illness.]
• Tormentors are really "teachers." [See, Joebots, I do perform a worthy service on this blog. The teacher will appear whether the student is ready or not.]
• Instead of saying "I demand" - say, "I would appreciate."

"Hold on right there!" I said out loud, to no one in particular, when I read that one. "What about that Psychic Demand program that Joe and his buddy Pat are selling? You know, the one where you say to the Universe, 'I DEMAND [however much money you want to fall from the sky]'? Joe swears this works and says the program is one of his best-sellers. But isn't that 'I demand' stuff inconsistent with the Transformational Vocabulary strategy of replacing 'I demand' with 'I would appreciate?'"

But then I thought about it some more and realized that these are two completely different situations after all. The Transformational Vocabulary was created for dealing with people – and with people, let's face it, you often have to resort to subterfuge to get your way. You even have to b.s. yourself at times to convince yourself that you are deliriously happy, or at least not a hopeless loser. The more you muddy-up your language, the better chance you have of persuading reluctant people to do what you want them to do, even if it's not in their best interests, and the more successful you may be at convincing yourself that you're not a royal screw-up.

With the Universe, on the other hand, you have to get tough and real. There's no b.s.'ing with the Universe because it knows what you want. But it's kind of stubborn, or maybe it's just hopelessly distracted by hearing billions of people begging for stuff all the time, and it won't give you what you want unless you get in its face and demand it. (Yes, I know we've been over this before, but sometimes a refresher course is in order.) If you don't demand what you want, the Universe will more than likely continue to heap crap upon you. And the only way to stop this process is to buy products from New-Wage hustlers.

At the very least, all of this talk of Transformational Vocabulary can serve as a reminder of something some of us have known for many years: With New-Wagers, as with bureaucrats, you really do have to read (or listen) between the lines. You just can't expect clear and precise language from that lot.

Wanking...er...walking with the wise
A new book came to my attention a few days ago. I forget how. Anyway, it's called Walking With The Wise For Overcoming Obstacles, and it features inspiring stories from all sorts of New-Wage gurus who...well...overcame obstacles. The book features the expected line-up of luminaries, most of whom became famous and wealthy by putting in years and years and years of work and effort. But let's face it: work is such a drag. And who wants to wait years or decades to get rich and happy? Fortunately there's an alternative for those who want the world and want it now. Here's what it says on the new book's promo page:

Which Way Do You Want To Learn?
Experience or Education?

They say that there's 2 methods to learn from... Experience or education. The problem with experience is that it takes too long to get and the price is too high... That's not to mention that the obstacle might eat you up...Plus, without the insight of a capable teacher or mentor to assist you, you might miss the lesson altogether, and not be any better off for the wear.

No, you won't develop any supernatural powers that will allow you to "sidestep" Natural Law in this book - you will still experience storms in life. Sometimes devastating storms. But, led from the experience and insight of the 50 speakers, authors, experts, ordinary people, and millionaires who have contributed to Overcoming Obstacles you can discover how to harness Natural Law, assert your inner Eagle, that soul spirit within you, and overcome any obstacle on the road to glorious success as you define it.

Well, at least the publisher is somewhat honest about the fact that there are no magical panaceas in the book. But I'm concerned about this "Inner Eagle" thing. Does that mean that if you buy the book and take its lessons to heart you'll become like Don Henley or Glenn Frey? If so, is that necessarily a good thing? Or was the WWTW copywriter talking about that darned bird again? Sigh...haven't we been over this issue already? Why on Earth do so many people still want to emulate eagles, when eagles are fierce predators that put out large amounts of really gross poop and, despite their preference for fresh prey, have also been known to gobble carrion the way vultures do?

Iffy metaphors aside, you can't argue with the fantastic New-Wage celebrity lineup in WWTW for Overcoming Obstacles. The featured face is that elder statesman of the New Wage, noted quantum physics expert Bob Proctor. Not only did he graciously agree to pen something for the book, but he took the time from his busy schedule to write a stunningly brilliant testimonial as well:

When a person picks up something to read, generally the first thought that comes to their mind is; 'I hope this is a good book.' Linda Forsythe has made sure this is a good book.

In Walking With the Wise for Overcoming Obstacles, Linda has brought together a number of wise mentors with heartwarming stores [sic] you will want to refer back to a number of times. It's stories likes [sic] these that provide the motivation and inspiration required for us to meet and overcome every challenge.

You will especially appreciate the inspiriation [sic] from a number of mentors that you personally recognize and the true stories from people you may never have heard of.

All achieved the impossible. All share how they have overcome enormous challenges and show you how to do the same!

Bob Proctor
Best Selling Author, You Were Born Rich
and philospher [sic] in the movie The Secret.

And there's plenty more where that came from. Walking With The Wise seems to be just one huge heaping eagle-created pile of "inspiriation!"

Walking With The Wise For Overcoming Obstacles is actually part of a series of books compiled by Linda Forsythe (the publisher of Mentors Magazine) and published under her imprint, Mentors Publications. Everything about the books, from the elegant and understated cover designs to the stellar lineup of the planet's brightest minds, screams "quality." Or screams something, anyway.

The first book in the series, simply titled, Walking With The Wise, has earned an impressive five-star average from reviewers on Amazon. So far three people have weighed in: two are coincidentally named "A Customer" and one is named "linda17365." If you follow the link to the page where all of "Linda17365's" reviews appear – all two of them – you'll see another review in which she reveals that she is none other than Linda Forsythe, the publisher of the Walking With The Wise series. She doesn't admit this in the review of the Walking With The Wise book, but it's right there in black and white in her comment on another book by one of her authors, Susan Gilbert (more on her in a moment). But at least she comes out and reveals her identity instead of pretending to be someone else. I'll give her points for that.

Linda reveals even more about herself on her Amazon profile:

I am a 32 year old divorsed [sic] white single mom trying to find information on how to make my life better. I'm also trying to start my own business.

All righty, then! I guess she succeeded with that business thing if she got all those hustledorks on board. I sincerely hope she was able to hire some good editors too.

I did see something that concerned me. Apparently Linda aged quite a bit between the time she wrote her Amazon profile, where she is 32 years old, and the time she created her MySpace page. On her MySpace page she reveals that she is 101 years old. Publishing can do that to you. It's a tough biz.

With age has come wisdom, however. In a recent blog post entry Linda revealed the truth about why things are so bad now for Light Workers. Apparently that post hit a nerve with several people, including a 97-year-old born-again Christian entrepreneur who lives in the Kingdom of God, California, and a hot 97-year-old tranny (or drag queen, or desperate woman). In truth it's difficult to tell just who or what "Divaz Hot Chocolate Blonde" is; the one thing that's clear is that s/he is the "Diva Wit A Million Dolla Swagga". Still swagga-ing at 97...now, that's pretty incredible. It appears that there's lots of senior action on MySpace. Who knew?

But I digress. It looks as if Linda has a pretty good scheme going with her Walking With The Wise series. The books seem to be "Who's Who"-type anthologies that you have to pay to get into, at least if you're not a big "name." That was my impression, anyway, when reading this one-star review on Amazon, which was written in July of 2006 about Walking With The Wise For Health & Vitality:

As Seen on Judge Judy, July 25, 2006

Turns out many no-names paid $5k apiece to have their articles appear alongside Deepak Chopra's, Wayne Dyer's, etc. "Mentor" Susan Gilbert was ordered to repay Dr. Howard Richmond $2500 for the many telephone coaching sessions she conducted in which she facilitated his participation. He also got a $5k judgment against the publishing company, Mentors Publishing House and Linda Forsythe (Her name was bleeped out - I read his lips.) Writers & readers beware!

There's more about that Judge Judy episode on this discussion on a writers' forum. And you might be interested to know that Susan Gilbert, a self-described "serial entrepreneur" who also happens to be the Mentors author for whom Linda wrote a five-star review on Amazon, turned lemons into lemonade and wrote her Judge Judy story in the Overcoming Obstacles volume. Truly inspiring.

Let's get motivated!
And speaking of inspiration, my friend Tony, who actually publishes quality books, recently sent me this very inspiring link. Trust me, it's well worth following. Unless you are easily offended.

So...do you feel motivated, Dear Ones? Good! Now go out and Dare Something Blogworthy. Or at least Tweet-worthy. See you again soon!