Calling all trannies! (and Harry Potter fans)

The headline for the Access class description was provocative, to say the least:
"Are You Willing to BE the 9 Trannies?"

To tell the truth, I've never really had any desire to be one tranny, to say nothing of nine. But Access -- the cultishly wacko sex-and-money org that was born when the ghost of Rasputin whispered into a bored/failed real estate agent's ear more than 20 years ago* -- is always challenging people to stretch beyond their wildest imaginings. 

The 9 Trannies is/are one of Access' hot new schemes, and it fits right into the group's ongoing promotional theme of "Hogwarts for grownups."

The phenomenal success of the Harry Potter books and movies surely demonstrated that these books struck a very deep chord in their audiences of adults as well as children.

Could it be that the deep chord was the acknowledgment, somewhere in people’s universes, that what has been dismissed, as “magic” is actually more real than much of what we call the “reality” around us?

Are you one of the adults who wasn’t fooled that these were stories for children? Do you long to attend Hogwart’s yourself?

Now you can!

Of course Access isn't the first supposedly adult org to grab onto the Harry-Potter-style-magick-is-for-realz theme; Marcy From Maui's Law of Attraction forum members were all over that a few years ago when The Secret was just hitting its stride. (I've provided links on this blog to those discussions, but I'm not going to go back and hunt for them because I can almost guarantee you that the links won't work any more. Seems like every time I mentioned a Marcy From Maui link on this blog, it disappeared soon after.)

And the Harry Potter theme isn't the first one to have been exploited by Access. They've been all over The Matrix and Avatar as well. Avatar really captured their imagination with that whole human v. humanoid motif.
Anyway. I know this might come as a disappointment to some, but Access claims that the 9 Trannies class has nothing to do with a sex change operation -- although it appears that at least a couple of the Trannies are related to changing one's gender at will. Here's the breakdown of the 9 Trannies you'll learn how to do or be or whatever, if you take the upcoming Access class:

• Transformation: the ability to change anything from what it is now into something different (demolecular manifestation is an example) [e.g., that dimwitted Ocean 300 scheme ~ CLS]
• Transmigration: the ability to move from one location to another without transport, or faster than “regular” transport could take you
• Transfiguration: the ability to morph something from what it appears to be into something different
• Transsexualness: the ability to change the sexual energy of any moment or any thing at will
• Transpiration: the ability to change what is going to occur into a different event
• Transmutation: the ability to change something from what it is into something greater
• Translocation: the ability to move something from one location to another
• Transliteration: the ability to talk and understand any language
• Transmogrification: the ability to change your appearance into something different

And here are more explanations, just to get you really excited and inspired:

Transformation is the ability to change anything from what it is now into something different.

Transmigration is the ability to move from one location to another without a car, plane, train, or bus – migrating across space.
Transfiguration is the ability to morph something from what it appears to be into something different.

Transsexualness is the ability to change the sexual energy of any moment or anything at will. It means you don’t function from your sexuality as the source of your reality. (Sexuality always requires judgment.)

Transpiration is the ability to change something that is going to transpire in the future and change it into something that doesn’t have to be, so something else can occur.

Transmutation is the ability to change something from what it currently is into something you would like it to be. It is a mutation from what it is into something greater.

Translocation is moving something from one location to another.
Transliteration is about talking in any language and understanding all languages.

Transmogrification is shifting what you look like into something different. You could for example switch your shape from being a man to a woman. [In other words: a sex-change operation without the knives, stitches, implants, and hormones. ~CLS]

But does all of this Access Tranny stuff really work? Does it yield measurable, observable results? As it turns out, that doesn't matter, because Access has a fail-safe built right into the scheme:

What if you used the 9 trannies for the joy of it? What would be possible then? What it [sic] was just fine for you to be magic everyday? Would anybody notice? No – because it doesn’t fit their reality!

In other words, just because the rest of the world doesn't acknowledge your achievement of tranniness, that doesn't mean it isn't real. It simply means that your magickal results do not fit the Muggles'...um...the humans' reality.
And to my lucky pals in the Denver area: y'all will have a chance to attend a Tranny class in June -- that is, if you have taken Access Levels 1 & 2 within the past twelve months, and you have $1,350 to blow on the Tranny class. Alternatively, maybe y'all could just apparate or use a Portkey.
I will be waiting for your reports.

* The Rasputin origins of Access are downplayed these days, to the extent that my little composite above would be more accurate if I had placed Rasputin's visage on Voldemort (He Who Must Not Be Named) rather than Gary Douglas's.

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