ACCESS: Right bawdy for you

Today, Dear Ones, we continue what we began yesterday: the four-day-long celebration of Access and The City – The City being my former hometown of Houston, Texas USA. While the Accessories continue reaching new levels of Accessorydom (Accessorydumb?) in a little conference room at the Hotel Indigo in Houston's elegant but traffic-infested Uptown area, I'll share a few little snippets and tidbits that have come across my e-desk recently.

Ever since I began writing about Access in 2007, I have been hearing from people who have serious issues with this cult-like sex-and-money organization. Here's one early post in which I share some of these people's thoughts. I still hear regularly from folks who are grateful to see some information about Access that hasn't been generated by Access itself or an Access member.

The truth is that even after more than 20 years, Access hasn't reached critical mass yet to even be a blip on the radar of most critics and watchers of cults and cult-like orgs; why, there's still no Access discussion on the Rick Ross Forum. And there's little objective information; Access was apparently not even deemed worthy of Wikipedia, though this old and now-outdated article remains in WikiP's rejected-articles archives. Now and again one runs across a critical discussion of Access, such as this one, initiated in 2009, but these discussions are still pretty rare.

So I suppose that for the time being, my little Whirled in this dark little corner of the blogosphere will have to suffice to provide aid and comfort to (1) people who are worried about their loved ones being swallowed up in Access' increasingly greedy/horny maw; (2) ex-Accessories who wonder WTF they were THINKING; and (3) long-time observers of Access who wonder why so many supposedly intelligent adults are still getting sucked up in this pale imitation of Scientology.

Apropos of the latter, it has been reported in various places, including here on this very blog, that Gary Douglas is a former Scientologist. Although Gary did not mention Scientology in the now-suppressed "official" story of how he and the late "Mad Monk" of Russia, Rasputin, got to be good buds, it does seem that Access, like so many other New-Wage scams, was inspired at least in part by Scientology. There's no denying that Access continues to promote beliefs and practices that rival Scientology in their wackiness. 

One person recently wrote to me about hanging around Access founder Gary Douglas back in the day when Gary was channeling Rasputin, or Raz, as Gary used to fondly call the deceased Russian charlatan. Even though a mere high school student at the time, my correspondent detected that the channeling act was utter crap. One of the things that gave it away was Gary's bad Russian accent, which sounded to my correspondent like that of a Bond villain in the movies. (The fact that Raz didn't speak English when he was alive was suspicious to him too; then again, maybe they have ESL classes in the Afterlife.)

If only Gary's adult followers then and now had been as astute as that teenager, we probably wouldn't be having this conversation today. My correspondent, who was around as Gary made the career transition from real estate and antiques to channeling and con artistry, also knows someone close to Gary who has become quite the Access ripoff artist herself. As seems to be the case with many Accessories, this woman was particularly attracted to the free-love aspect of Access, and insisted that the power of Access would prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. My correspondent said the woman told him that there is a purpose for having multiple sexual partners; it has to do with gathering sexual energy in order to reach a point where one has a "tree of energy" growing out of one's head. But this tree is only visible to higher level humanoids, who are, of course, far more advanced than mere humans.

I recently heard from another person who strongly believes his marriage is breaking up because of the influence of Access. Of course there is more than one side to this story, and I've only heard his side. But his tale is so similar to so many others I've heard, such as this one. All I can say is that if you're in an intimate relationship and your spouse, spousal equivalent, significant other -- or whatever you want to call him/her -- gets involved in Access, be prepared for your relationship to change in unexpected ways. You may not like it.

Someone else sent me a link to a radio show, one of many recorded exchanges between Gary Douglas and California Access facilitator Dr. Kacie Crisp. This show, recorded on January 19, 2011, mostly centered around Access' Right Body For You course. Among the highlights, Gary talked about a lady in Utah who shrunk from size 18 to size 6 after taking his body class, and another who went from 400 pounds to 220. Gary claimed that by listening to his body and playing Frisbee for one hour he went from a size 38 to size 36 waist, which he said isn't supposed to be possible. Humm....Frisbee... I wonder if that's a code. Gary also said that his body told him to drink (and eat, apparently) nothing but lemon juice and sugar, and after eight weeks, amazingly, the fat had melted off. "Seriously," wrote the friend who sent me the link, "that's like saying I entered Buchenwald and by some miracle...." 

The show goes on for about an hour, ending with the real come-on in which Gary says that "amazingly beautiful" women are flocking to Access. But, he notes, there haven't been that many guys, so Access is an opportunity for a few lucky guys to be the magnet they've always wanted to be [see PS below]. My friend had listened to the original and said it ended with some brief chatter about Gary sending sexually inappropriate content to Dr. Kacie, but that doesn't seem to be in the recording I heard, which is just as well because frankly, I don't want to think about it. (Besides, the whole concept of "inappropriate" seems inconsistent with Access' freewheeling anything-goes philosophy. "Inappropriate" is so judgmental, after all.) Anyhow, here's the link.

And here's something entertainingly creepy: an invitation from Steve "Magic Eyelids" Comer to participate in an Access Body Class. As with most Access classes, kids 16 and under can get in for free; ages 16-18 get in for half price. The rest of you will have to cough up $950, unless you want to take an Advanced Body Class facilitated by Gary Douglas, which will teach you "a unique set of new body processes that have been created in order to give your body a chance to go beyond the limitations of this reality," and will set you back $1350. Gary is going to be coming back to Houston to do that one on June 18, 2011, at a location to be announced.

Finally, here's an interesting comment that appears on the discussion forum I linked to above. The comment seems to be identical to one I recently declined to publish on my blog because I could not substantiate some of the more eye-raising points. But you're certainly welcome to read it and do further research yourself, if you wish. If nothing else, it adds a new level of meaning to Gary's teasing little invite to guys to join Access and become a "magnet." 

How does it get any sillier or creepier than this? I'm sure the Accessories will let us know.

PS added Sunday, March 6: For the benefit of those who haven't viewed this gem of a video yet, here are a couple of lovely examples of Accessory women, Rikka and Summer, who ganged up on a hapless young male and uploaded the results in October of 2008: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dwbbf5mmUoY

(Those weird hand gestures of Rikka's must be some of that top-seekrit hypnotic stuffs they teach you in Access.) And gals, don't feel left out. If you don't want some of that older man-love -- if Gary D leaves you cold -- Access has some younger bait for you too. Not only is there Steve "Hypnotic Eyelids" Comer (linked to above, but here's another one), but there's Gary's main sidekick, Dr. Dain Heer, aka The Bawdy Whisperer. And as I write this, it's not too late to make plans to attend Dr. Dain Heer's Energetic Synthesis of Being Taster Open Evening and Energetic Synthesis of Being Taster, both of which will also be at the Hotel Indigo. Your guess is as good as mine about what ESSB actually is; the description isn't very specific. But hey, it's only $275 for both events, and you'll get to be in the presence of that Dain Heer sexual magnetism. And remember, kids 16 and under fly free!

* * * * *

Now more than ever, your donation is needed
to help keep this Whirled spinning.
Click here to donate via PayPal or debit/credit card.
If that link doesn't work, send PayPal payment directly to
scrivener66@hotmail.com
or to cosmic.connie@juno.com
If PayPal, be sure to specify that your contribution is a gift. Thank you!