Whirled Musings

Across the Universe with Cosmic Connie, aka Connie L. Schmidt...or maybe just through the dung-filled streets and murky swamps of pop culture -- more specifically, the New-Age/New-Wage crowd, pop spirituality & religion, pop psychology, self(ish)-help, business babble, media silliness, & related (or occasionally unrelated) matters of consequence. Hope you're wearing boots. (By the way, the "Cosmic" bit in my moniker is IRONIC.)

Monday, April 28, 2008

Monday musings

Sensitivity warning: Today's post discusses some rather delicate matters.

I think I'll take a little time out from my busy schedule of scooping the New York Times, reporting on the Blunder From Down Under, exploring the wonders of nature here on The Ranch, and, oh, yeah, that thing called work. I think we're long overdue for another "snippets" post here.

Stinkin' thinkin'
SHAMblog's Steve Salerno facetiously named his post of today, "Just another misogynistic Monday." Actually he's not being misogynistic, just making some well-considered points about the double standards that are working in women's favor in our society these days.

If you want to see some real misogyny – or at least what has been interpreted by some feminists as a sort of veiled misogyny – take a look at a couple of ads that were in some old magazines I just happened to have lying around the house (click on the images for enlargement). Something about living in this retro ranch house has inspired me to unpack and rediscover the delights and insights hidden within the yellowing pages of these old periodicals (so to speak).

You may have previously seen a version of this first ad in an email that was going around the Net some time last year. Well, I have in my possession a copy of a magazine that actually contains one of these ads: the March 1956 issue of Successful Farming, to be exact. This is one of the gems I retrieved from the home of my late paternal grandmother. (As it happens, my grandparents on both sides were farmers, and both of my parents grew up on a farm, so I guess I'm just carrying on the family tradition...sort of, anyway...by residing on The Ranch.)

Flipping through the pages of this issue of Successful Farming is a not entirely pleasant trip back in time. Nestled among the tractor and fertilizer ads and the articles about the latest breakthroughs in adding stilbestrol (estrogen) and antibiotics to cattle and pig feed, there are numerous articles and ads targeted to Milady. She may have been a hearty farm wife who could slop the hogs with one hand and cook up three enormous meals a day in her country kitchen with the other, while helping six children with their homework and hand-sewing all of their school outfits (in short, a woman who had far more life skills than I'll ever have)... but she also, by golly, gave a hoot about internal daintiness. Even so, it couldn't have been the easiest thing to be fastidious about one's womanhood when one was busy tending to livestock and chasing kids and helping to run a farm.

Fortunately, there was Lysol liquid to come to the rescue. Not only was it a venerable household disinfectant, but it was also, apparently, just the thing for cleaning out more private "rooms." Matter of fact, Lysol had been a household name in feminine hygiene for years before that 1956 ad.


Flash forward thirteen years to 1969: the Summer of Love has come and gone, and free love and the Sexual Revolution are making their profound mark on society, thanks in large part to the Pill and, of course, to the hippies. In certain circles, the "natural look" is becoming more acceptable, although in some cases "natural" is code for "a little careless on the hygiene front." On the other hand, the "second wave" of feminism won't really hit for another year or so, and it will be quite a while before it makes any sort of dent in the "women's magazines." (Actually, a glance at many ads and articles today makes a pretty good case for the opinion that the feminist revolution completely bypassed Women's Mag Land.)

I'm looking now at the June 1969 issue of Ladies' Home Journal, which at that time was "The Magazine Women Believe In." I nabbed this one from my mom's house a few years ago. Actress Ali McGraw is featured on the cover as an example of "The Movies' New 'Natural' Woman." And I suppose she does look natural, comparatively speaking, in that her eyes aren't weighted down with the garish false lashes and blue eye shadow that were the fashion in those days, and her teeth are...gasp... a little crooked.

Flipping through the magazine, it seems clear that feminine daintiness is still an overriding concern, but a revolution has obviously taken place in the interim, as indicated by the headline on one ad devoted to the topic of down-there freshness: "Five years ago most women would have been too embarrassed to buy this product." This from an ad for a feminine deodorant spray called Feminique, by Intec Laboratories in New Jersey: "a product that would have made your grandmother faint and your mother blush." The copy went on to explain that now that "The Pill" had freed gals from worry, "The Spray" would "help make all that freedom worthwhile."

The real revolution, of course, had taken place among the marketers who came up with the idea of deodorants specifically for women's naughty bits. And not a moment too soon, what with women being so smelly and all. I never can remember if it was Dear Abby or her sis Ann Landers, but I recall that one of those sage pop-advice columnists wrote on more than one occasion: "Men should bathe once a day. Women can't bathe often enough." The good folks at Lysol had gotten wise to that fact decades previously, as had various makers of commercial douching products, but it took late-60s marketing whizzes to truly refine the art of feminine hygiene by introducing products for external daintiness. Feminique was but one of several such products advertised in that issue of LHJ; in my view, however, the award for Most Patronizing Copy easily goes to a similar offering called Pristeen.

So it was that in that eventful summer of 1969, while the hippies were doing their thing (Woodstock, of course, happened later that year), and some dudes were getting ready to walk on the Moon, and the ongoing war in Vietnam was dividing the US as nothing had in many years, our attractive, nice-to-be-with-girl was off in her own dreamy world – uncertain of many things, perhaps, in that time of turmoil, but completely confident that the most girl part of her was under control.

Of course it's stretching things a bit to say that any of the feminine-hygiene ads are indicative of misogyny. They are, more than anything else, examples of advertisers preying on the various insecurities of their prospective consumers, and in that respect are no different from ads for baldness cures or erectile-dysfunction remedies. For that matter, preying upon people's insecurities is how New-Wage and selfish-help hucksters attract their customers. I knew there was a way to tie old feminine hygiene ads in to the main themes of my blog.

Still, when one is in a certain kind of mood, it's hard to get past the overriding message that we gals are real stinkers.

Mail...I get mail!

Speaking of stinkin' thinkin', I occasionally get emails and blog comments from people who think my thinking stinks. F'rinstance, there was this one that came in recently (
I have not edited the post for spelling, grammar, or punctuation, but I have softened the expletives):
I just came across your blog and pissed myself laughing, I mean what is it in someones life that is so so sad that you have to bitch about other people all the time. I don't know what this LOA or stuff is (and I can't be assed to find out!) but I cannot believe that ANYONE has that much time to spare in their lives that they can moan about a whole load of things that have nothing to do with them all the time. Your like the gossip of the internet. You remind me of 2 neighbours, who have such sad lives that they sit and make stuff up about everyone else. How bored must you be? Seriously now, as a grown up, don't you think this is childish? Maybe you could start a hobby? I do have better things to do with my time, but I thought that I would be nice and tell you how much of a loser you sound. Also, for the people who do read the books you moan about, this is the perfect place for them to come and find out about the new books and inside gossip about what they believe in. I bet they come here, check for new books and are off to amazon to buy them. So your selling the stuff for them, how daft is that? I am all for people having a say, but surely you need to have at least have looked into this and tired it all 100% to have formed such childish opinions. How can you have an opinion on something you know nothing about? Unless of course it is just a childish opinion built on sh-t. I have read you WHOLE blog and have gone from tears of tiredness cause I am so bored, or laughter because your so shallow!! Maybe you could do with some of those crazy books to help you get a life! George
Oddly enough, this comment came in response to a post that didn't contain my usual snarking. At the time, however, it was the top post on the page, so I suppose the person just wanted his comment to be noticed. Judging from the spelling conventions observed, I'm guessing the writer is a Brit or perhaps an Aussie. I'm also thinking that quite possibly he is a David Schirmer fan or family member (who is not being entirely truthful about not knowing what "this LOA stuff" is).

An anonymous commenter responding to that same post wrote:

Maybe you should try using the LOA instead of moaning and going on about all that is wrong in your life. What you think about, you bring about!!

Wow, they sure told me, didn't they?

One of my favorite pieces of fan mail came in just last week in response to a post I'd written a year previously. The post was about some of the most inspiring MystiCouples at work in the world today, and the person who wrote to me took umbrage at my remarks about a cult leader in Sedona, Arizona named Gabriel of Urantia. (At one time he was Gabriel of Sedona, and before that he was Tony Delevin, but "Urantia" encompasses the entire planet, being a name for planet Earth, as revealed in a wackadoo New-Wage bible called The Urantia Book. I actually have a copy of that classic work, and have for many years. Can't say I've read it all, though.)

Anyhow, one of Gabriel's followers really took me to task, and once again, I've abandoned my day-job role as editor, except for my customary neutralization of expletives:
Well ms. schmid, You ask what do you think about me ,so I will give you some feed back. I think you are probably very confused about life and cosmic reality. It is a shame that you try to discredit people that you don't even know,you must be very angry or just self absorbed or possibly your upset with your own life. I can not be the judge of what determines your actions, but I must say you have put some bad information up about Gabriel and Niann. They are very special people and there only desire is to help the planet grow into a reality where sh-t talking is none excitant and mature and the only criticism is positive reinforcement which I am giving you write now. I could say you suck sh-t at being a write ,editor or book designer but that would not be constructive criticism it would just be rude ,kind of like what you said about Gabriel's singing. That's your opinion and some opinions should be kept to ones self. Did your mother ever tell you if you don't have anything nice to say then say nothing at all. God loves you but he don't like the sh-t you write about beautiful people. So Gabriel and Niann have my vote for the most beautiful balanced compliments I have ever had the privilege to serve in gods kingdom with ,not the mysticouple award. You should show them great respect and honor them for the beauty they pour out on this planet.
As you'll see if you follow the link above, I published the comment and replied to it. Yet the writer sent the identical comment again the next day, perhaps not understanding how Blogger's archiving system works. Just in case that writer is still stewing about my perceived failure to publish his letter, I am presenting it to you now on the main page.

This disgruntled soul isn't the first person to get after me about things I'd written about Gabriel; one of Gabe's cousins had previously challenged me on my blog, as did another follower via private email. The consensus seems to be that if nothing else, the opinion I expressed about Gabe's vocal limitations was very rude. Well, as we know, opinions are like you-know-whats, so don't take my word for it. Go here to sample Gabriel's singing for yourself.

Oh, those polygamists!
And speaking of cults... I'll wrap up this collection of snippets with another gem you may or may not have seen: the 2008 Texas Polygamist Wives Wall Calendar. Guys, I gotta warn ya: grab a towel before you click. This is even better than watching drunk college girls fake orgasms on YouTube.*

And that's it for now, Dear Ones. I'll be back soon with more news you probably can't use, but that, with any luck, will be a reasonably entertaining way to waste your time when you should be working.

* Okay, not better. But quieter, anyway.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG that is incredible blog. Youve been busy dear one. To hell with the pretend pundits I say, keep up the snarky remarks because it sure as hell beats the shit that Schirmer and his cohorts shove down everyones throats. When it has been proven that they actually know what they are talking about and use it that is when the world will begin to take them a tiny bit seriously but at this moment they are living on borrowed time because all these FADS have a time limit and its almost done. The secret for instance. Why would you buy any one of the secret contributors new FAD how to apply material which you just know they rushed across the drawing board and into the production line to make sure they could suck a bit more out of it and you?

As for the cult matter well YEUUWW! Whats with the hair dos? Do you retain a better place in the hierachy if your hair is stiffer than the others? That is awefully sad stuff.

Monday, April 28, 2008 11:23:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon, I really appreciate the support and encouragement. But even though The Secret and its ilk may be living on borrowed time, false hope springs eternal...and I suspect there will always be some huckster, with some new twist on an old scam, to sell that false hope to those who are all too willing to surrender their reason along with their hard-earned money.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 9:36:00 AM  
Blogger Citizen Deux said...

Great - Texas Polygamy calendar, perfect. Interesting, their lifestyle isn't too far off from traditional Islamic practices, complete with total coverings, polygamy and forced marriages.

I for one am a believer in a knowable right and wrong - many of these new wagers are too stuck in post-modern relativism.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

CD, while the "calendar" is obviously a parody, the lifestyle it parodies is apparently all too real. And there do seem to be many parallels between their practices and traditional Islamic ways.

"Post-modern relativism" is an apt description for New-Wage thinking, in all too many cases.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 11:12:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Everybody: I received an anonymous comment that I momentarily considered publishing but decided not to, since it was, IMO, a little too "colorful" even for the backstage area of this Whirled. However, I'll do my best to capture the...ah...essence of the writer's remarks by paraphrasing.

The first part of the comment was in response to the "feminine-hygiene" snippet in my post. The writer wondered what the big deal was about women's "intimate" odors, and indicated that he had never let such factors inhibit him.

Which, I suspect, is the case with many if not most guys... but, as I noted in my post, the advertisers of these products have had and still have a big stake in playing upon women's insecurities.

My correspondent also bemoaned the fact that "so many new age ladies are so physically attractive, into massage and aromatherapy and lots of nice things like that, yet are so up their own arses. It spoils things, it really does. Such a shame." By "up their own arses" I assume he means self-absorbed and narcissistic, and I really can't argue with that!

He closed his remark with the observation that Gabriel (of Urantia's) book got a one-star review on Amazon. Hey, no big surprise there!

[Sorry to play the censor, Anon, but I am trying to maintain some sense of decorum here. :-)]

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 11:26:00 AM  
Anonymous Dick said...

Hi Connie, I've been a student of that whackadoo Urantia Book for 42 years. I've found the book to be a great source of spiritual inspiration.

Yep, that Gabriel of Sedona is a strange one. He's certainly not typical of most Urantians. I've read some of his channeled stuff, and it surely sounds like sci fi to me. By the way, I think he and his commune have moved from Sedona.

I wonder if you've read the Jesus papers yet. I think it's the most beautiful portrayal of the human Jesus I've ever seen. Of course most fundamentalist Christians are very offended because it doesn't support the Atonement Doctrine. I hope you'll visit the website www.thespiritualfellowship.org and view my video, Jesus: The Unknown Years.

Keep up the good work.

Namaste, Dick

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 12:44:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thank you for your comments, Dick, and I will check out your video. I'm not surprised that the fundie Christians would find it offensive, since they get offended at pretty much everything.

I admit I may not have the most updated info about Gabriel's whereabouts, but the address on most of their web sites still shows Sedona, AZ. However, since they're citizens of Urantia I guess they could be anywhere!

Anyway, thanks for writing.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008 2:06:00 PM  
Anonymous mojo said...

About a year ago someone on the Ellen DeGeneres show found a creepy bizarre television ad for Tab diet cola from the late 60s or early 70s. It was called something like "Be a Mind Sticker" and it was one of the creepiest misogynistic things I have ever seen. (I shudder to think I grew up in this era.)

Here it is on YouTube:


DeGeneres thought it was so funny she played it every day for a week and would spontaneously burst into the breathy operatic part where it goes "Don't you want to have a good shape?"

I wished YouTube had some clips of Ellen making fun of it, but sadly, no....

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 8:15:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

A near perfect interpretation of my English colloquialisms. You see, Oscar Wilde had it right when he said that 'we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars'. Except some are trying to look up womens skirts, but that might not have crossed Oscars' mind.

Not me though, I know what a black hole is, and a globular cluster. I've even seen the rings around Uranus.
You know, after watching Gabriel of Sedona I thought, 'yea, Gabriel of Sedona, truly you are a messenger of the aquarian age. Truly, truly you are vibrating with the enlightening and revolutionary energies of Uranus!'.

In fact, to all I say, Open! Open and fill your spiritual sails with the unstoppable cosmic wind of Uranus!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 10:19:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks, Mojo. That WAS creepy. But the comments from the YouTubers made it worth the visit. My favorite (from someone going by the name of "Greenlight 73"):

"'Keeping your shape in shape... has its rewards.'" What's the reward? The kind of guy who hides in the bushes in the other Mindsticker commercials will take you upstairs from his badly lit rec room and nail you good and proper?"

It would take someone like Ellen DeGeneres to really do that commercial justice, though. I'd love to have seen her take on it.

That commercial reminds me of another gem from around that era: a song by some ditzy country singer named Sandy Posey called, "Born A Woman." Here, for your consideration, are the mind-numbing lyrics:

"It makes no difference if you're rich or poor
Or if you're smart or dumb
A woman's place in this old world
Is under some man's thumb
And if you're born a woman
You're born to be hurt
You're born to be stepped on, lied to, cheated on
And treated like dirt
Ah if you're born a woman
You're born to be hurt
A woman's lot is to give and give
And go on giving
A woman's got to love and lose
And go on living
Well I was born a woman
I didn't have no say
And when my man finally comes home
He makes me glad it happened that way
Because to be his woman
No price is too great to pay
Yes I was born a woman
I'm glad it happened that way
Oh I was born a woman I'm glad it happened that way."


Wednesday, April 30, 2008 11:05:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

"Oscar Wilde had it right when he said that 'we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars'. Except some are trying to look up womens skirts, but that might not have crossed Oscars' mind."

LOL, Anon, and thanks for being a good sport about my censorship. Since dear Oscar was apparently consumed with the love that dare not speak its name, he probably would NOT have been thinking much about looking up women's skirts.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 11:51:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Speaking of YouTube:
Just in case anyone wants to actually hear the above-mentioned Sandy Posey song, "Born A Woman," here's a little video tribute someone made to the perils of womanhood:


What's kinda disturbing (to me, anyway) is that in the comments that have been published in response to that video, no one has yet mentioned the dismal lyrics or the depressing concept of life "under some man's thumb." They were mainly focused on the "beautiful" video.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the....

I spent some minutes checking out the so-called "New biography of Jesus" in the "Urantia book".


Who wrote this contrived crap!?? And what evidence, what source, was the author of this - ridiculous - book basing his insinuations on!??

What an outrage. What a complete, utter, factless, fiction and illiterate outrage, and if my brain was functioning more this morning, I'm sure I'd find some other words to express my angry dismay at this stupid STUPID urantia book.

(For the record, I'm not christian, but I do know the importance of backing up statements with factual research - take note Rhonda Byrnes and the market-stall sellers that are the secret teaching idiots that interpret myth as non-fictional truths).

Well, if these schmucks can write a book and claim it's truthful, so can I. My new book will be on the invading Urantians, who have been here for thousands of years and are plotting an overthrow of humanity to... (take?) our planet for their own race. They must be stopped. I will back it up with sincere fact and research, because somewhere out there, there is a (cave?) with a depiction of the entire history of Urantia's involvement with earth in the form of rock scratchings that I'm sure, if dated, would be close to 100,000 years old. It's the truth. Honest.

Yeah. I'm severely annoyed and have just about had it with these idiotic New-Age tricksters.

Thursday, May 01, 2008 6:46:00 PM  
Blogger RevRon's Rants said...

Hey abalanceofhope -

Hate to tell you this, but you've been scooped by about 35 years. In "Breakfast of Champions," Vonnegut tried to warn us about the Tralfamadorians, a race that had seen their planet decimated by automobile creatures. Unfortunately, their emissary to Earth - little Kago, who was only a few inches tall, and a homosexual, to boot - was killed in mid-diatribe when a drunken automobile worker mistook him for a kitchen match, and tried repeatedly to strike him on the underside of the bar.

My point being that true prophets - especially those only a few inches tall - inevitably come to bad ends. I have no idea as to your height and sexual orientation, but felt duty-bound to ensure that you were forewarned. I've felt no such compulsion where the Secretions are concerned, however.

Friday, May 02, 2008 5:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Connie, that's hilarious! Yes, so many feminine hygiene products, so little time... Oh, how can we ever manage?

Thank goodness for Lysol: http://tinyurl.com/4mepzt
(see the first ad -- and admire the creativity involved there :)

P.S. A great pic of you with the stacks of letters! :)

Though I must say that the polygamist wives calendar takes the cake, no contest. (To quote our national muse and idol, one P. Hilton, "That's HOT!") I'm putting it on my sons' Xmas shopping lists, whether they like it or not -- y'know, instead of preaching abstinence to the lads...;)

Saturday, May 03, 2008 9:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, you have Par Lagerkvist on your blog. That's a name I haven't seen in a long time. How about that.

Sunday, May 04, 2008 7:38:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Abalanceofhope wrote [re the biography of Jesus in The Urantia Book]:
"Who wrote this contrived crap!?? And what evidence, what source, was the author of this - ridiculous - book basing his insinuations on!??"

I think The Urantia Book is but one more indication that even though there seem to be real limits to human achievement, there is no limit to human imagination. Who needs "proof" or "evidence"? There's a sizable faction of the population that seems willing to accept anything that the authors claim has been "revealed," be it by disembodied voices, angels, mysterious stone tablets or what have you.

In fact, the less tangible "evidence" or "proof" there is, the more some people seem to cling to it. I suspect that's largely because if it can't be proven without a doubt to be true, it can't be proven beyond a doubt to be false either.

That said, there are people who find inspiration in The Urantia Book, the same way that millions find inspiration in The Bible and/or various other sacred writings. While I think there's wisdom to be found in all of these works, I draw the line at literalism.

Monday, May 05, 2008 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Ron, many thanks for evoking the late Kurt Vonnegut. Frankly, I've found more wisdom in his books than I have in many of the sacred works of the world.

Monday, May 05, 2008 10:24:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Addendum to my comment above, re The Urantia Book, truth, and falsehoods:

I'm aware of the widespread belief that "you can't prove a negative," but that's a whole interesting argument in and of itself. If you don't believe me, just type "You can't prove a negative" into your search field, and you'll see there are lots of people willing to try to prove that you *can* prove a negative.

Monday, May 05, 2008 11:50:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Elizabeth, it's great to see you here. Thanks for the link to the "Ridiculon" blog. Silly things, indeed.

But I'm not so sure about the wisdom of giving your sons a copy of the Texas Polygamist Wives Calendar. There's a difference between encouraging abstinence and traumatizing the lads for life! :-)

Monday, May 05, 2008 4:15:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Anon, I'm not sure what you mean by Par Lagerkvist being on my blog. Maybe my memory isn't up to "par"...

Monday, May 05, 2008 4:18:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, sorry, I meant Elizabeths blog.
Up to par, hyuk hyuk.

Monday, May 05, 2008 5:58:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks, Connie -- good to be here! And you're right, I'll rethink the Xmas lists for the boys. Too late for the abstinence thing anyway. Maybe I'll just get the calendar for myself (mmmmm.... OK, seriously, as an on-going boost to my self-esteem).

Alright, enough cheap shots. (Sigh, oh gosh, but these women beg for cheap shots, all my compassion notwithstanding.)

Anon, Lagerkvist is my favorite. A major discovery of my youth (and that was a long time ago) and one that does not disappoint still. But no one reads him nowadays, as you observe.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:28:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BTW, what I wanted to say first and foremost: a great blog, Connie -- and amazing work on behalf of The Secret critics. You are indeed on top of The Secret things here. It's almost(?) a full-time job, no?

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:33:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of things feminine and FLDS: I know, Connie and WM's readers, that you must be wondering where you could get these wonderful dresses and head thingies these sexy women wear.

Well, wonder no more. Here is a website where you can order all the necessary garments (Victoria's Secret, eat your heart out!): www.plainlydressed.com

The site specializes in "Traditional Amish - Mennonite - Plain & Other Conservative Clothing Styles & Headcoverings." And, as its creators say, the site's goal is "to meet the needs of Christian families in need of hard-to-find Modest, Christian items for the entire family."

But be warned before you visit: it is not for the faint of heart. There is some steamy content there which may not be appropriate for the more sensitive or easily offended readers. (The "Quiet in The Land" pics should be labeled as R*-rated.)

So get your credit cards ready and shop till you drop (from uncontrollable laughter or other unforeseen side-effects).

*As in, 'R-you-kidding-me?!

P.S. You're welcome! ;)

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:12:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, Connie. Your blog is a gift that just keeps on giving (especially on this Tuesday morn, when my work is piling up to dangerous heights).

I am laughing my you-know-what off, reading the Gabriel's follower's letter to you. This magnanimous person redefines the notion of positive reinforcement, does s/he not? ("(...)the only criticism is positive reinforcement which I am giving you write now"...)

I've also followed your links to those wonderful MystiCouples -- and all I can say right now, between fits of spastic laughter, is: Dear Connie, thank you for making my day!

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 12:45:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

I visited a buddy in London and picked up a copy of The Dwarf there, but it had to compete with the Diaries of Anais Nin which I was also reading, so I only got a few pages in. It's probably still there somewhere. As I recall, it starts off with the recollections of the court Dwarf strangling the Prince. In fact, I think my Buddy read it more than I did- he was into it. Maybe I'll get it again.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 8:09:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

HHH (or hhh): This is Connie's blog, so I'll try to behave, but let's see: Lagerkvist's Dwarf, the study of narcissistic psychopathy, or Diaries of Anais Nin... Oh, what to choose? (feigning confusion).

Of course you went with Nin -- how could you not? L's dark and tormented Dwarf cannot compete with the (mostly) erotic adventures of Ms. N. So first things first, I'd say. :)

P.S. OK, I'm kidding. I think.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 11:22:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Elizabeth, first of all, thank you for your kind comments about my blog. I'm glad it's keeping you amused. (If you want to read about another MystiCouple of sorts (or perhaps a ménage à trois (a MystiTriple?), if you count Rasputin), try the June 6, 2007 offering:


And thank you for the link to the great plain-clothing web site. But where's the Mormon underwear? :-)

Finally, thanks for clearing up the Par mystery. You did inspire me to Google him, thus putting me in serious danger of expanding my horizons. (At least I was already familiar with Anais Nin... haven't gone through all of the Diaries, though I have them all, but who could forget 'Delta of Venus'?)

Wednesday, May 07, 2008 11:25:00 AM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

HHH, it's great to see you here again too. Re Par L., I hold you equally accountable, along with Elizabeth, for potentially expanding my horizons. :-)

Wednesday, May 07, 2008 11:31:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How could I not?
Who could forget?
Do you think a pop-up version would sell?

Wednesday, May 07, 2008 12:42:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

"Do you think a pop-up version would sell?"

Maybe, but it would be fairly expensive to produce. Maybe a scratch-and-sniff version would be cheaper...

Wednesday, May 07, 2008 4:05:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

Changing subject and moving swiftly on from my literary pretensions and back to internet inanity I can tell you, Cosmic Connie, that I have been subject to a small dilemma. You see, a few posts back, a beastly voice-hearing little gutter hussy called you a twat, and the pointedness of this oh so familiar English insult seemed to have eluded you.
In England, being called a twat may result in a hair pulling eye gouging street fight- (or in Texas maybe a cold, swift gunning down). My dilemma- do I leave you in happy ignorance or do I expand further your grasp of foreign lingo, with the risk of 'dwelling on the negative'?
Well, as Americans may be the next boat people, floating over the Atlantic on strapped together coconut rafts in order to escape your shit-awful government, you may need to know when and how to use th e word 'twat'.
So here are a couple of links, if you have time.

By the way, our government are also ..... TWATS!

Wednesday, May 07, 2008 9:00:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Hi, HHH: Actually, I didn't perceive that *I* was being called a twat, although the comment I "censored" did contain the word "twat." I merely felt that overall the comment was a little too graphic for the standards I am trying to set here. (I normally don't publish comments with the word sh-t in them either, but I let this one through 'cos it's been a long day and I don't feel like doing any more editing.)

It's always been my understanding that the word "twat" is slang for female naughty bits, and "twit" is Brit for idiot. (Hmmm... that kinda rhymes, doesn't it?) But I see that "twat" can mean "idiot" too. Oh, the confusion!

Anyway, rest assured that your wit is always appreciated and that you have yet to offend me, but there are some cases where I just feel compelled to err on the side of decorum.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008 11:32:00 PM  
Anonymous HHH said...

Maybe I need some sleep and a few deep breaths, or to stay out of the sun.

I think I will also take a rest from posting for a bit. I will however post this link for an excellent peice of funny Inv. Jour. - much better than that twit-twat Chester Mumps, and proof that fact is stranger than fiction anyday.

Thursday, May 08, 2008 4:55:00 PM  
Anonymous hhh said...


Thursday, May 08, 2008 5:04:00 PM  
Blogger Cosmic Connie said...

Thanks for the link to the delightful article, HHH. Get some rest but don't stay away too long! :-)

Thursday, May 08, 2008 7:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Further about the polygamy sect, if you look at the latest news story, the tank they used to raid the place has kill marks on it.
Why is that?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008 2:18:00 PM  

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