BREAKING NEWS
Chicago (WM WireNet) April 1, 2014 -- Infomercial pitchman Kevin
Trudeau, who was convicted of criminal contempt last November for
repeatedly defying court orders regarding infomercials for a diet
book, and was sentenced last month to ten years in a federal
prison, was released Tuesday to the custody of his parents,
Robert and Mary Trudeau of Lynn, Massachusetts, for an indefinite
period. Judge Ronald Guzman signed the order releasing the
pitchman to the elder Trudeaus' custody until the courts make the
final decision about the prison in which he will be serving his
sentence. "It's the compassionate thing to do," said
Guzman, "since after all, his parents are getting on in
years and are in very poor health."
When asked if Trudeau was considered a flight risk, Thomas
Kirsch, one of Trudeau's attorneys, responded, "Mr. Trudeau
has indicated that he will indeed be flying to Massachusetts,
where he will be staying with his parents and helping them put
their affairs in order. As for the question of being a risk, this trip is no more risky than any airline travel. There is always some
risk of course, but flying remains one of the safest forms of
transportation. No, we don't see any particular risk."
Trudeau was also given back his passports so he can travel to his
luxury apartment in Zurich, Switzerland "to pick up a few
things" that might look nice in his elderly parents'
Massachusetts bungalow, which according to a recent report by noted
inferior decorator Augusta Wend, is "sadly lacking in faux-finishes,
puffy gold couches, and pretentious reproductions of Renaissance
art."
Once back in the US, Trudeau will surrender to the custody of his
parents, where he will be placed under house arrest at night and
will not be allowed to travel outside of North America during the
day, except on weekends.
April Fools! Real updates coming soon. I'm
kind of busy today.
Meanwhile here is a real court document, filed
on March 31, 2014..
Kevin is begging the court to let him go
see his aging parents one last time before he begins serving his
sentence. This motion will be presented before Judge Guzman on
Thursday, April 3, 2014.
UPDATE 3 April 2014:
Who was it who said, "You can't go home
again?" Judge Ronald Guzman, that's who. MOTION DENIED. And
that's no April Fools joke.
WHAT A CROCK OF BULLSHIT
ReplyDeleteMy eyes were popping out of my head and my teeth were clenched and then I read this:
ReplyDelete"flying remains one of the safest forms of transportation"
hahaha...oh dear...LOL!!
Totally got me on that one Connie... By the way, I fell asleep last night with the TV on, i woke up to him pitching his free money book on TV. What's up with that... not a surprise, it is Kevin Trudeau after all.
ReplyDeleteOk is this an April fools story?
ReplyDelete~Anon
Haa haaa. That was funny, and I'm only 3 days late. Oh well, it got me at first. KT must really be jealous because, well, I guess he just didn't have the right billionaire friends.
ReplyDeleteI thought this article was a joke, too, but apparently not.
http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/02/justice/delaware-du-pont-rape-case/index.html?hpt=hp_t4
DuPont heir rapes a kid and is spared the cage because family said "he wouldn't fair well in there." Hey KT, next time call DuPont for help!
Tuesday Anon, Chill, dude. It was a joke.