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Monday, February 19, 2024

Garish gold sneakers and eau d'ouche: more Trumpish trash for sale

 

All that glitters can be sold, especially to suckers with more money than sense (or taste), and Donald Trump knows this better than just about anyone else. He also knows that there's more than one way to get those suckers to pay for the troubles that he brought on himself.

The Trumpcult GoFundMe grift run by billionaire Scamworld/Scientologist couple Grant and Elena Cardone, which we visited at length
on the previous Whirled post, has so far managed to collect over half a million bucks from tens of thousands of suckers, supposedly to pay $355 million of Donald Trump's New York civil fraud fine. And the money just keeps coming in. At the time I'm writing this, the top donation is an anonymous gift of $10,000.

Half a mil plus is a lot of money, but it's still a long, long way from $355 mil, not to mention the nearly $100k in interest for that same civil fraud judgment, not to mention all of the other money Trump owes so far as a result of being determined by various courts to be a fraudster and a defamer and a rapist sex abuser. As things stand now, he owes a small fortune.

But don't cry for Donny. Trump knows better than just about anyone else that if you're a skillful enough con artist/cult leader, there's more than one way to get the suckers to pay for the troubles you brought upon yourself. Besides having your scammy, scummy pals crowdsource a shipload of money for you, you can also slap your famous name on some more trashy products and sell them, or at least the promise of them, for outrageous prices. And it will work great, at least for a while.

Put on your hi-top sneakers, wear your red cap on your head
For instance, there are the high-top shoes that are making the news: those $400 Trump-branded
"Never Surrender" garish gold sneakers that reportedly sold out within hours of their launch. Introduced at an event in Philly known as SneakerCon (emphasis on the "con," in this case), "Never Surrender" was presented as a "super limited edition" of only 1,000 pairs. We'll just see how "limited" they really are, though. I'm betting that if there's enough demand, there will be a second run "for a limited time only," of course, and then a third, and a fourth...

It occurs to me that
"Never Surrender" was a hit song in the 80s by Canadian rocker/poseur Corey Hart. Another big hit of his was "Sunglasses At Night." I'm thinking that if you're in the same room with anyone who is wearing those gilded Trumpshoes, you are probably going to have to wear sunglasses whether it's day or night. At any rate, "Never Surrender" is a bold statement, but then again, so was "Never Back Down" -- and look where that got former presidential candidate and guv'ner of Floriduh Ron DeSantis. But I digress.

One of my favorite wags,
Rex Huppke, had a lot to say about Trump's sneaker scheme. From USA Today, February 19, 2024:

The new Trump sneakers look like Trump's arrogance in shoe form

Remarkably, the sneakers look exactly like the kind of sneaker you'd expect from [someone] who created a fake university named after himself and then settle had to pay $25 million to lawsuits accusing him of fraud.

The sneakers are (possibly spray-painted?) gold, including the laces. They have a big “T” on them in various places. And they have a sort-of American flag thingy wrapped around the ankles.

They're the go-to athletic shoe for people fleeing responsibility.

Huppke has an alternative suggestion for president-branded footwear that just might take off.

I recommend a durable-but-comfortable line of already-broken-in Biden Slippers. The motto is simple: “You should trust what you put your feet in. Not gold … just old, tough and cozy.”

They could give them away for free, as Biden has the distinct advantage of not owing more than half-a-billion dollars in penalties for fraud and defamation.

Seems like a shoe-in.

I'll take two pairs of those.

There may or may not be another run, or perhaps several, of the gaudy gold footwear, but just in case there isn't, or if there is but you simply don't have the bucks for a pair of the golden Trumpshoes and still want to contribute to The Cause while letting everyone know what a loyal cult member you are when you wear Trump merch out in public, no worries.
The same web site that sells the gold high-tops also offers low-top red sneakers called the T-Red Wave, as well as white ones dubbed POTUS 45 -- for only $199 each. You can pre-order them now, but be aware that there is a STRICT LIMIT OF 3 PAIRS PER CUSTOMER.

They'll smell you coming a mile away
If even the $200 sneakers are too rich for your blood, but you still want to help your idol, there's another Trump-branded product, sold on the same web site as the sneakers, that's poised to make a big splash and will only set you back 99 bucks:
Trump Victory 47 perfume or cologne.

Advance reviews are already pouring in,
at least on Reddit.

16h ago

I find this to be pretty one dimensional as it opens strongly with Filet-O-Fish and drys down relatively quickly to hamberders.

The elixir adds covfefe but generally feels as vapid and self-aggrandizing as the original.

Probably pass on this one and go straight for Deep Corruption: EDN(epotism).

And...

7h ago

I splashed on some Trump Victory 47 cologne before going into the Indian Casino in Quapaw Oklahoma. Never in my life has a cologne attracted so many fine women. I went in alone and went to Super 8 with 5 honeys

From what I've been reading on the Interwebz, Trump is in a position to release an entire line of fragrances, and I think he should. There's so much inspiration, according to some folks who have been in the same room with him.

So there you have it: the latest in a long line of Trump-branded products and services. I'm sure there's more to come. I would say caveat emptor, but if you're among the sane, you already know that, and if you're a MAGA you won't listen. But at least there is a disclaimer on the footwear-and-fragrance web site: "Trump sneakers and fragrances are intended for individual enjoyment and as a collectible and not for investment purposes."

A deep well of fraud in The Cowboy State
Another disclaimer on the sneakers-and-stinkum web site states, "Trump Sneakers are not designed, manufactured, distributed or sold by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization or any of their respective affiliates or principals." The web site also states, "45Footwear, LLC uses the Trump name, image and likeness under a license agreement." But it also says that the products are registered trademarks of CIC Ventures LLC,
which Trump reported owning in his 2023 financial disclosure.

And it will probably come as no surprise, since this involves Trump, but this venture points to yet another Scamworld-and-politix connection (notwithstanding yet another disclaimer/bald-faced lie on the shoe/pee-yoo site that there's nothin' political goin' on here). The 45Footwear LLC mentioned above is registered in one of the current fraud capitals of the world, a little town in my birth state of Wyoming. One of my favorite authors and commentators, Kurt Eichenwald, whom I follow on Xitter, is on the case. On February 18, 2024, Eichenwald posted this:

How....expected. The tiny town that is the registered location of the LLC paying Trump for the right to make his shoes - Sheridan Wyoming - is the central registration hometown of LLCs operated by crooks from around the world.

He cited an April 5, 2022 Washington Post piece about Wyoming's attraction for frauds from all over the globe. It's worth a read.

Bleeding the dupes dry
For years, Trump and his allies have had excellent luck sucking money from the loyal MAGA fan base, with thousands of small-dollar donations adding up to some massive big-dollar totals. But will these be enough to cover the humongous fines that Trump is now facing? Probably not, no matter how many shiny shoes and T-brand toilet water and other overpriced products the Trump team comes up with.

Conservative Rick Wilson is one person who thinks the T-merch gravy train, if not on the verge of derailment, won't be enough to bail Trump out. From
Raw Story, February 18, 2024:

Wilson, whose group of current and former Republicans opposing Trump recently put out an A.I. ad recreating Trump's disapproving father, appeared on MSNBC's Ayman on Sunday, where he was asked about Trump's money troubles.

Specifically, the host asked how many golden sneakers Trump would have to sell to make a "dent" in his debts...

..."There's a certain amount of money are gonna be able to raise from the MAGA voter pool in small-dollar donations," he added. "And they have bled that list of people dry."

He continued: "They have bled those people to the point where they're waiting for their social security or their disability check to come in every month before they can kick in another 25 bucks to save Donald Trump from the deep state, or whatever fantasy he's selling them."

Finally, Wilson said, "It is a powerful bond, but that's not going to give him the amount of cash he needs in this deal in time to avoid further consequences to his personal finances and his corporate finances."

Unfortunately, even if it isn't able to give him the amount of cash he needs, that powerful bond that Wilson describes may very well give Trump the votes he needs to retake the White House, and overturn democracy and the rule of law. (Which of course is why we have to outvote the MAGAs.)

And notwithstanding Wilson's most likely accurate assessment that many of the donors in the MAGA voter pool are living on Social Security and disability, there do seem to be significant numbers of folks who have much, much more than 25 bucks to toss into the big black hole. Or the big orange hole, as the case may be. Again, reference
the GoFundMe page that Trump's Scientology buds are running. I just peeked at it, and the total is nearing $684,000 as I'm writing this [on February 20, 2024; this part of the post is an update].

If the cheap shoe fits...
For those who prefer to look on the bright side, which is becoming increasingly more challenging, there is the possibility of widespread customer disillusionment regarding the gold-shoes gimmick, which might possibly lead to some breaking away from the cult. That's probably overly optimistic, but in any case,
a February 19, 2024 article on TheSpun.com emphasizes the fact that anyone who has shelled out hundreds of dollars for Trump's special shoes is only buying the promise of said shoes, and won't be able to actually get them until at least sometime this summer. And that's providing everything goes as currently planned.

...anyone ordering Trump's sneakers might want to check the fine print.

The fine print estimates that Trump's sneakers won't ship until the summer, and the Trump team is not liable for any delays in shipping. So, it could be a while before you actually get your President 45 sneakers.

"Shipping and delivery dates are estimates only and cannot be guaranteed. We are not liable for any delays in shipments," the fine print noted.

This is eerily similar to Big Baller Brand. LaVar Ball infamously launched his own sneaker brand, rather than having his oldest son, Lonzo Ball, signing with a Nike/adidas/etc.

The shoes were popular on social media, but cost two to three times a typical basketball shoe, and also had some major shipping problems. It took months for fans who ordered Big Baller Brand shoes to actually get them...

The article adds that ultimately Big Baller stopped making shoes, but then noted that with only 1,000 pairs of the Trumpshoes being made, the manufacturing and shipping process should be easier.

I'm not so sure about that, particularly since, as I indicated above, we can't even trust that the Never Surrender clown-shoe run will indeed be limited to only 1,000 pairs. Never underestimate the power of the infamous
false-scarcity marketing strategy. And the piece on TheSpun doesn't mention the other merchandise listed on the sneakers website: the two varieties of low-tops and the Trump fragrance, all of which are also available only for pre-order. There will be no instant gratification for any of this stuff, in other words.

On a February 20, 2024 piece on the conservative Bulwark, Joe Perticone, who appears to actually know something about the sneaker market, offered his perspective on the gaudy griftwear.

...it’s important to understand that the online sneaker market is Grifter City. Pure garbage is upsold for insane amounts over the manufacturer’s suggested retail price (MSRP). This excess value is determined by a number of different factors: scarcity, what’s currently (and fleetingly) considered “cool,” and unpredictable events—for example, the sighting of a celebrity wearing the yet-to-be-released kicks. Scarcity is the only factor that is in any way quantifiable, which is one of the reasons the online sneaker market is so volatile that it makes cryptocurrency look like the S&P 500.

In addition, shoes are often obtained by unscrupulous (if not illegal) means. Dedicated sellers will game
online drops with bots, teenagers will camp out in front of stores before they open, and, in an example I find particularly galling, non-skateboarders will swarm skate shops to buy up shoes many skaters would prefer to rip to shreds by actually wearing them.

Lastly, if you’re not already sitting down, please take a seat before reading this next sentence: Donald Trump occasionally lends his name to inferior products for the sake of a quick cash grab.

To my eye, the
Q Trainer 1s Trump sneakers appear to be cheap wholesale shoes with some shiny branding stitched on the sides. They don’t carry the material heft associated with premium sneakers, such as soles made by top-tier Italian producers like Margom or Vibram.

It’s also telling that they are years behind the current sneaker trends. Design time for anything in the world of original fashion can vary a lot: Many designers will work for three to six months on a collection, while others
move at their own pace, sometimes taking years.

The team behind Trump’s MAGA Stan Smiths appears to have borrowed their design of the shoe from the waning days of the George W. Bush administration. The $399 gold “Never Surrender High Top Sneakers” are reminiscent of the
Adidas high-tops designed by Jeremy Scott and popularized by rapper Lil Wayne during the late 2000s. Meanwhile, Trump’s other two sneakers—a $199 design that comes in red (“T-Red Wave”) or white (“POTUS 45”)—bring to mind the sock-style shoes that have been around for decades but took the sneaker market by storm in recent years thanks to innovative designs by Kanye West, the disgraced antisemitic rapper and producer whose long, fraught collaboration with Adidas changed the sneaker industry. 

Both of the Trump styles are very much
out at the moment.

But who knows -- maybe they'll be in again by the time they ship, assuming that they will actually ship (keep in mind that sketchy Wyoming-registered LLC).

By the way, you've probably heard by now that when discussing the golden clown shoes, a Fox "News" contributor, Raymond Arroyo, recently claimed that Black people will vote for Trump because they love sneakers. There's been a lot of blowback over that ludicrous statement. For instance, here's Mike Freeman for USA Today (February 23, 2024):

This wildly racist, and just plain odd stance, that Black people are so dumb, and so easily swayed, that large swaths of Black voters would back Trump simply because he rolled out the worst shoes ever invented, reminds me of when right-wing politicians and analysts said after Trump was booked in Georgia for one of his googolplex of criminal cases that Trump's mugshot would make him more popular with Black Americans. The reasoning for that is...because Black people identify with criminals more? I guess? Though I have to say The Wire is an excellent show.

In the last Presidential election,
AP VoteCast reported that eight percent of Black Americans voted for Trump. There are the usual stories appearing now about increasing numbers of Black men wanting to support Trump but if anyone believes that a bunch of Black people are going to back Trump because of shoes, you must really think incredibly low of us. Just like Trump does.

The reason right-wing people tell these stories about us, these lies, really, is because they see Black Americans in one dimension. In some cases, if not many, yes, it is just plain racism. But in others, it is just profound ignorance.

Ignorance and racism are the two main characteristics of the MAGA base, along with bad taste, of course. And until I see credible evidence to the contrary, I think that for as long as they can possibly manage it, the MAGAs will continue to throw their money away on Trumpy trash, and they'll continue to donate as much money as they can to save their Savior -- while at the same time they will continue to whine about how Biden has tanked the economy so badly that middle-class Americans can no longer cover the basic costs of living. As I said, we gotta outvote them.

This post has been updated and amended since its original publication on February 19, 2024. ~CC

If you're moved to do something better with your money than giving it to a fraudster,
consider giving a gift to this Whirled. You won't get gold shoes or cheap overpriced cologne, but you would be giving to a good cause. I'd really appreciate it.

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