Drowsy Don, what's that glower you have on

 

Drowsy Don
Lyrics © 2024 by Cosmic Connie
To the tune of "Delta Dawn," © 1971 by Larry Collins & Alex Harvey

Drowsy Don, what’s that glower you have on
Could it be the face of impotence and rage?
You’ve lived a life of crime and you should be servin’ time
We want to see the Orange Man in a cage.

He’s 78 and still acts like a baby
All the folks who are sane can see he’s crazy
He’s gettin’ worse and more dangerous by the day
Yet millions wanna just let him have his way.

In his younger days, he was a blowhard clown
Gettin' rich by cheating everyone in town
But now he's worse: a truly dangerous fool
A public menace and Christofascist tool.

Drowsy Don, what’s that glower you have on
Could it be the face of impotence and rage?
You’ve lived a life of crime and you should be servin’ time
We want to see the Orange Man in a cage.

[Alternate chorus]
Drowsy Don, what's that glower you have on
Could it be the scowl of one who's lost control?
And did I hear you fart, or even worse, was that a shart?
You've soiled your pants and soiled our nation's soul.

[Repeat chorus and/or alternate 3 or 4 times, or as many times as you want until you get bored or are booed off the stage.]

* * * * *

No doubt about it, the trial of the century (so far) is burning up the news media and providing unlimited fodder for comedians as well. While many legal experts apparently agree that a guilty verdict is likely, according to the New Yorker article linked to in the previous sentence, the case itself has also fueled heated debate among legal scholars and former prosecutors, even those who aren't Trump fans. And even if Trump is convicted, the judge will have discretion when deciding on a sentence, and despite the fantasies of so many anti-Trumpers, Orange Man in an orange jumpsuit is not at all a sure thing. My money is on him not seeing a moment of prison time. Besides, nothing in the US Constitution prevents a convicted felon from serving as president, presumably even from the clink.

In any case the Trump trial has made everything weirder than it already was, as the fabulous Salon.com columnist Brian Karem so eloquently expressed it in an April 18, 2024 essay.

I woke from my nap to see the beady little eyes of that orange-toned man on television in his ubiquitous white shirt, red tie and dark blue suit proclaiming his victimhood as his decades-long fleecing of America now has him cornered in a stuffy Manhattan courtroom while prospective jurors eye him like a caged orangutan that likes to fling its own feces at the crowd.

After one day in court, The New York Times’ Maggie Haberman told us, Trump was essentially sleeping in the courtroom. As much as he wants to call Biden “Sleepy Joe,” he will forever be known as “Drowsy Don.” For the next month, Trump will sit like every other accused criminal in a court of law awaiting justice. Except he is making history as the first former president to be prosecuted for a felony.

Those prospective jurors not chosen to judge Trump spoke with reporters and told us of their interest in seeing a man who provokes visceral reactions, both good and bad, from so many people. Trump bathes in the chaos, drowns others with his bombast and, in a courtroom where he apparently cannot control his own actions, let alone anyone else’s, he is now seen stripped of pretense and floundering — when he’s not sleeping.

Trump remains larger than life to many, and the ripple effects of his extended stay on the public stage are still being felt and will continue long after he either expires of natural causes inside prison or while hugging his golden toilet bowl at Mar-a-Lago...

But Karem doesn't let the Biden administration off the hook, and he makes some good points.

Biden's administration, meanwhile, can’t seem to stop stumbling over itself. It's infamous for its dreadful staging of public events on the road and at the White House. The administration recently left the reporting pool out of an event where Biden essentially spoke to an empty room because of a staff mistake. A recent bilateral press conference in the Rose Garden was delayed because of technical problems. In Baltimore, Biden’s staged appearance to talk about the Key Bridge collapse was roundly criticized for looking more like a mayoral visit than a presidential visit. Reporters on the campaign trail complain often about the lack of professionalism among the advance staff. Reporters at the White House routinely complain about Biden’s staff ignoring them, ghosting them or trying to intimidate them into silence, while seemingly unable to handle even the simplest requests.

Monday, a Fox News reporter asked in the press briefing about inflation and the rising cost of gas. I followed with what should have been a softball. Former Labor Secretary Robert Reich, among others, has called inflation “greedflation” and noted that there is no economic reason for increased inflation. It’s simply price gouging by the very rich — the same people Biden has routinely said need to pay their “fair share of taxes.”

I asked the White House if the president blamed those he asked to pay their fair share for rising prices. Given the opportunity to speak directly to that issue, the administration merely explained that Republicans and Democrats “see things differently.” The country is blaming Biden for inflation and his staff can offer no response other than repeating that the job market remains strong.

They can’t hit the layups.

C'mon, Dark Brandon! Get on the stick and go on the offensive.

Karem's larger message is yet another warning that the continual craziness swirling around us threatens not only to normalize the crazy, but also to make the public increasingly numb to the deep dysfunction that Trump and Trumpism have seriously exacerbated. This is a warning that numerous others have issued as well over the past eight or nine years, and we need to pay attention.

The ever-present danger is that many voters will simply stop caring and that, bored or disgusted with the whole idea of the same two old guys facing off in the race to the White House, they will decide to just sit out this presidential election cycle, the idea being to wait until younger blood comes in. Presumably that will be in 2028 -- unless Mango Mussolini wins the 2024 race and his jackbooted Christofascist thugs cancel presidential elections altogether. It could happen. There's far too much at stake here just to sit it out.

For the time being, those who long to see Orange Man in a cage may have to satisfy themselves with imagining the courtroom as a cage -- which for him it assuredly is -- and with meming images of him alternately glowering and dozing off (and occasionally farting (or possibly worse)) day after day in court (after which he will continue, every day for as long as he is allowed, to fling feces at the entire justice system via his egregiously ill-named "Truth Social").

I know that waiting for justice that might possibly never come can be depressing. I feel your pain. So if you really need to cheer yourself up, take comfort in the notion that sociopathic, malignant-narcissist bullies like Trump hate losing control of the narrative -- a feat that this court case has already accomplished -- and that they hate, hate, HATE being ridiculed, and you can be assured that The Godfarter is paying attention to the ridicule. And don't forget the healing power of music. You can always break into a rousing rendition of "Drowsy Don." Make up your own lyrics to add to the fun. That's why I wrote it. You're welcome.

Before you leave...
This has been, through what is no apparent fault of her own (excluding, perhaps karmic matters that are quite beyond her ability to comprehend), a nightmare of a year for the ruler of this Whirled. Money, alas, cannot make the nightmare go away, but it can make it easier to bear. Now more than ever, donations are urgently needed and profoundly appreciated. Here are some ways to do it:

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