The bee-yotch is back!
Well, Dear Ones, although I am still basking in the afterglow of the Obama victory (while praying, as much as an agnostic prays, that it truly is a victory for all of us), I feel it's high time to get back to snarkin'. For the past couple of weeks I've been so busy with work, and with the fact that I finally figured out how to use Twitter, that I've been seriously neglecting my snark duties.
Don't get me wrong. It's not that I'm lacking in gratitude or thankfulness, particularly as we in the US of A approach that government-sanctioned day of giving thanks, but snarking has its place too. In fact, many people actually thank me for it.
Cosmic Connie: full of rage?
Speaking of being thankful, one of the things for which I am profoundly thankful is that the world is bursting at the seams with armchair psychologists, most of them named "Anonymous." There's one around every corner, just waiting to help us negative naysayers explore our deepest issues. I received a comment from one of them not long ago, in response to one of my snarky-snippets posts from last month.
- Anonymous said...
- I stumbled across this site and got caught up reading all about schirmer and proctor and the more I read the more sick I felt. I see you Connie just filling the blog with words words words, you're obviously very intelligent but when I see someone hiding behind words the way you do I see a person filled with hate and rage. You are obviously very damaged and take delight in cutting down those who have succeeded with their lives on one level or another but the poison remains in you and in those who believe your linguistic tricks (eg. "word has it" that connie was molested as a child... - leaving your readers to believe that you have some special insider information) I noticed in your profile that you call yourself a "smartypants" and ironic but you are hiding behind language rather than face the rage that you have in your body - What's really ironic is that you deride Osho in one post yet he actually produced techniques to help people with dealing with that kind of rage. Techniques that have helped improve the lives of many thousands of people all around the world - one has to ask just what you are 'contributing' to the development of the world with this kind of hate filled projection of your own inferiority complex.
I don't expect that this comment will be approved - in fact I anticipate never seeing it again - but that's ok - as long as you get it... I sincerely hope you "get it" because this blog is a waste of a sharp intellect and a blessed life.
Click here to see my response, which is followed by Ron's. And in case you're wondering, I do have "insider information." In fact, out of respect for friendships I have formed, I haven't even used all of the insider information I have. I may never use it; I don't use anything unless I am given the go-ahead by those who have been kind enough to supply me with insights. Let's just say that I have enough data to feel safe in claiming that while I occasionally may err in details, I'm definitely snarking up the right tree, if you know what I mean.
Mamas, don't send your kids to this "Camp David"
So I was bopping around the Net, minding everyone else's business but my own, when I came across yet more evidence that Aussie Secret star David Schirmer, aka the Blunder From Down Under, is still busily engaged in painting a picture of himself as a Good Person Who Truly Wants To Make A Difference. He and his lovely but long-suffering wife Lorna (who, word has it (oops, Anon, there's that phrase again), recently traveled to the US with the pastor of the Schirmers' church) are still involved in Youth Destiny, a Law Of Attraction camp for kiddies and teens. Here's a snippet from a description of one of the sessions:
Whilst teaching this content, sessions were made fun and energising. Sessions began with music (supplied by DJ, Matthew Schirmer [David Schirmer's son]), dancing, hugs and conga lines. Through theory sessions if energy levels were dwindling, this was easily fixed with ‘free hugs!’
For the love of G_d, Aussie parents: at the very least, keep your teenage daughters away from that camp. And guys, if you're married to a MILF, better keep her away too. I'm just sayin'.
Gimme that New-Wage religion...
Dear Ones, when I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I'm not afraid to admit it. And behold, I have beheld evidence that I have been deeply wrong about the motives of one of my favorite snark targets, Joe "Mr. Fire" Vitale. After reading some recent blog posts and viewing some videos, I now see that he clearly is divinely guided in everything he does, including his car buying.*
On his November 18 blog post, he wrote about a recent book signing in Chicago. A woman in the audience asked him about his extravagant car collection. In writing about the incident, he appears to be subtly snarking about the person who asked the question, but he really isn't, of course; he is just spouting divine wisdom.
"When is having so many cars enough?" [asked the woman in the audience]
The person asking the question couldn’t articulate herself very well, so answering her was a challenge. But I had just told everyone about my $375,000 Rolls-Royce Phantom and it may have made her wonder about buying so many cars.
I spontaenously [sic] said something in the moment that turned out to be wise.
"I haven’t gone seeking any of my cars," I explained. "They came to me. I stumbled across the Steve Reeves '76 Jag. I stumbled across the Steven Tyler '98 Panoz Roadster. I never ever imagined owning a 2008 Rolls-Royce. I simply said yes to them when they were in my awareness and everything seemed to fit. I think the great secret to living a happy life is to say yes to life."
As it turns out, Joe was paraphrasing himself as well as his questioner in his blog post, and the post didn't even begin to do justice to the profound wisdom he shared in that Chicago book store. When you see the actual video, it is clear that the woman who asked the car question couldn't "articulate herself very well" because was intimidated by being in the presence of a Master, as well she should have been. Joe explained that as with all of his other car purchases, he didn't chase after his Rolls-Royce Phantom. (He didn't mention that flying Panoz that flew out of his reach not long ago, causing him to go into a snit that lasted several days, because, obviously, that was a car he DID go after, and didn't get.)
He 'splained to his Chicago audience, "I felt divinely guided to receive [the Rolls], and when I received that car I also received an idea that became a money-making profitable idea [that I issued to my e-mail list], and I started making $10,000.00 driving people around [who were] wanting to have an evening with me sitting in the back of the car. [So] the car increased my prosperity. The car increased my abundance. I didn't ask for the car, and I think that's the big difference."
"The big difference" he was referring to is the difference between being guided by the Divine and guided by "pure ego." He, of course, has gone beyond that whole pure-ego thang. He goes on to say that the only thing that would have been wrong about the whole deal would have been if he'd resisted the gift that was being offered.
So now you know, and if you were a Joebot who was having doubts about the motives of your role model (or Rolls model, as the case may be), you can rest easy. You can also rest easy knowing that another extravagantly expensive car Joe recently bought, the Scorpion (starting price $150,000 US), is manufactured by yet another person who was Divinely inspired. In fact, this car is "God's Own Super Car," at least if we are to believe the title of another recent blog post of Joe's.
The other day I drove to Ronn Motors and saw their first hydrogen eco-exotic sports car, the Scorpion. I later met with the man who created it, Ronn Maxwell. Turns out the Scorpion design was inspired. Later I’ll post a video of Ronn explaining how God spoke to him about the car...
A friend of mine pointed out that this somehow reminded him of the episode of the old Fox sitcom Married... With Children in which Al Bundy was divinely inspired to manufacture and market "God's shoes." If you have 22 minutes to waste (and aren't hampered by fair-use issues as we satellite Internet subscribers are), here's the link.
Much has been made of the Scorpion being an eco-friendly car, and it's good to know that it has been Divinely inspired and all that. But I am still left with one burning question: Why didn't G_d inspire Ronn Maxwell to make a car that ordinary people could afford?
We must believe in magic!
And before I go, I wanted to mention that Joe apparently sent out an email to his list last weekend claiming that the "Pyschic Demand" program, which I've mentioned here a few times, was the technique he used to get that much-bragged-about Rolls Royce Phantom, as well as the "muti-million dollar hidden estate" he just bought. He says Psychic Demand is also responsible for his latest book's bestseller status on Amazon. (Regarding the Amazon success, direct solicitation of marketing assistance from hundreds of thousands of folks via his email list, his blog and Twitter would have been my guess, but no, he says it was Psychic Demand that did it.)
Now, for the benefit of those who don't remember Psychic Demand, it is a technique whereby you grab the Universe by the collar, get in its face, and say, "Look, Bucko, hand over the goods or else." According to the promo page, "This is the actual secret method used by Joseph, Abram, Moses, Plato, Phidias, Shakespeare and other legends throughout history." Here's more stuff from the promo page (I know I've quoted some of this previously, but it's just too good not to repeat):
[We] decided that we would use Psychic Demand to only attract ethical people to this site. That's why we will not advertise this site, or do anything to bring the riff-raff here.
We are attracting only ethical people -- people who care about their family, friends, and the planet...
For the sake of all concerned, do not order right now if you will use this to try to manipulate others or to do harm in the world. We only want advanced souls to use this power -- and to use it for good.
I guess sending links to the site to a huge email list doesn't consitute advertising. What's really important, though, is that Joe's success wasn't due to the Law Of Attraction as taught in The Secret, nor to his quantum home tapping system, nor to Ho'opononononononononononono, nor to Pelmanism, nor to the five steps he wrote about in Spiritual Marketing, nor to the five slightly different steps he wrote about in Spiritual Marketing's reincarnation, The Attractor Factor, nor to one of those expensive Hindu prayers (a yagya), that he credits for getting a major publisher to notice and buy The Attractor Factor. And it wasn't even due to his having reached that ultimate third...oops, I mean fourth...step of Awakening. Nope, he has the new mansion and the Rolls and bestselling author status because of Psychic Demand.
Best of all, Psychic Demand only costs nineteen bucks, which is good news for you. Think of it: in order to have everything you could possibly want in life, you don't have to spend five thousand bucks to ride with Joe in his Rolls, or twelve thousand to attend a special Awakened Millionaire Weekend with him. Just hand over a measly nineteen dollars, and you'll have the Universe at your command.
On that note, I'll let Crystal and the Muppets sing us out of here (warning: if you are offended by seeing French-speaking puppets undressing a beautiful woman, do NOT click on this link). * Sarcasm alert, in case you hadn't figured it out. Or snarkasm alert, as the case may be. Good Goddess, it's great to be back in the saddle.
* Sarcasm alert, in case you hadn't figured it out. Or snarkasm alert, as the case may be. Good Goddess, it's great to be back in the saddle.